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#151. The Substandard on Bohemian Rhapsody and Postelection Analysis!
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Dudes Chatting — Bohemian Rhapsody and Queen: Sonny is out on paternity leave; guest Mike Warren fills in. After a mock post-election roundtable (the trio riffing on deliberately empty political analysis), the conversation turns to Bohemian Rhapsody. JVL delivers the big-boy review in Sonny's stead, describing it as a coming-out story centered on Freddie Mercury that also happens to be a period piece about Queen's rise — and he did not like it by a lot. His sharpest critique is structural: despite being directed by Bryan Singer, who is gay, the film portrays gay subculture with what JVL considers remarkable negativity — every gay character besides Jim Hutton is a misfit, a narcissist, or evil, while all straight characters are well-adjusted and forgiving. Vic liked the film and praises the casting (particularly Gwilym Lee's uncanny Brian May) and the creative-process scenes showing the band's collective songwriting. Both agree the Live Aid finale is spectacular fan service, though JVL notes the film comically overstays its welcome. They dig into the movie's numerous factual inaccuracies (Freddie's AIDS diagnosis is moved before Live Aid for dramatic effect), debate whether it is inadvertently a small-c conservative movie about the importance of family, and compare it unfavorably to Behind the Candelabra. Mike Warren delivers a top-ten Queen songs ranking, headlined by "Somebody to Love" at number one and the Flash Gordon theme as JVL's personal favorite; the group debates "Under Pressure" (JVL hates it) and "Another One Bites the Dust." They close with a ranking of Bryan Singer's filmography, with The Usual Suspects at the top and Superman Returns at the bottom. JVL also announces that his son Flash made the travel baseball team.
Box Office: Bohemian Rhapsody opened at number one with $50 million; The Nutcracker and the Four Realms second with $20 million; Nobody's Fool (the Tiffany Haddish film, not the Paul Newman one) third with $14 million.
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00© BF-WATCH TV 2021
Vic00:00:30© BF-WATCH TV 2021 Substandard, you'll easily find us. Please leave a review, tell your friends, and subscribe. Gentlemen, how are we? First of all, let me preface this by saying apologies. I don't think I was able to bring my A-game, especially in terms of transitions and things of that nature, to this show, because I am still recovering from election night 2018. I don't know about you guys. Mike Warren, how are you? Let's talk a little politics. Yeah, welcome back. Thank you. You do politics. I've seen you on CNN. Yes. What are your post-election announcements? What's the takeaway? Give us the takeaway. Well, the takeaway, of course, we have to first talk about the polls. Oh, yeah. The polls this year. They were crazy. Yeah, and what they told us, well, they told us a lot of things, I think, in the run-up to the election. Of course, what we know is that the most important poll is the one on Election Day, which ended up being the one that mattered the most. And I think that is something that, as we go forward, we should always keep in mind and really kind of be a little more humble, I think, about things.
JVL00:02:11It really came down to turnout this time around. I was going to ask you, JVL, what did it come down to? It really, I mean, when you look at the turnout, especially in those districts. Yes. Well, and the states. Don't forget the states. I'd say there are very specific regional differences where, if you went district by district and looked at the turnout models, they didn't. They were, in some cases, right on with what we expected. In some cases, not at all what we expected. You know, boys, in a lot of ways, I almost feel like the biggest surprise is that we shouldn't have been surprised.
Vic00:02:43Yes. Yes. I totally agree. I was thinking about turnout and also voter enthusiasm.
JVL00:02:50Huge enthusiasm this year.
Vic00:02:51It was really a determinant about who was coming to the polls. If they were really excited to go to the polls, then it turns out they went to the polls. Well, yeah, but, you know, I think we're... We're already looking too far backward. Let's look forward. It's only been two nights ago. It was two nights ago. Let's look forward, guys. Okay. And whatever happened... I mean, what happened from this election will, of course, have consequences for the next two years. And we'll have an influence, obviously, on what happens in 2020. And you just cannot discount what is going to be happening from these results that really, in many ways, changed things. But, in many ways, kept things the same. All right. Let me throw... I'm going to give this at you. Did any of your predictions come true? And what was your biggest surprise of the night? They all... They all... I got you good. They all came true. Oh, they all came true. All my predictions came true because I did what the smart people do, which is tweet out all of my... All the possible predictions and then deleted the ones that were wrong. That's right. So, there's a pro tip for you guys for next election. And biggest surprise was that... You know, that I wasn't surprised more. JVL, any surprises for the night you want to talk about?
JVL00:04:06Yeah, I was really struck by... Specifically? I was struck by the results we saw with the non-traditional candidates and how they performed relative to the more traditional candidates.
Vic00:04:15Okay. I'm going to actually get specific here. Yeah, tell me. In the Ted Cruz Beto O'Rourke race, in some way surprising...
JVL00:04:23I believe it's pronounced Beto. Beto.
Vic00:04:24Beto. Beto O'Rourke and Ted Cruz... No, it's Irish. It is. Beto means Bob. Beto means Bob. In some ways surprising, but in other ways not. I think that's true. You know what I mean? Yeah. Absolutely. And you can say that really about all the races, but particularly about that race in Texas. That's great. Thank you for... Thanks so much. You don't even need the other podcast. You want to come for a true election analysis. Probing, I think, is the word. Speaking of probing... Oh! That was a little premature. JVL. Other than that, I don't know why you would say that. If people are wondering what the joke is about that, we are going to be talking about Bohemian Rhapsody, and that's one of the reasons why I wanted Mike Warren here, because I thought I can't think of anyone who better knows Freddie Mercury inside and out than Mike Warren. Thanks. Can I just say, before we get into Freddie Mercury... Talk about anything you like to talk about. It's been a couple of weeks. It's been a couple of weeks since you've been on the show.
JVL00:05:30Have you done any mulching this fall? Well, can I say... Autumnal mulch.
Vic00:05:34Let me say this before we get into the outdoor talk, which we will get into. You know, I think last time I was here, we discussed how I sort of felt like I was like a Ted McGinley-type character, you know, who's like brought in to kind of save a... Yeah. I would say failing show. Ted McGinley has a great track record of coming in to save shows. But the more I think about it, the more I'm sort of like... I feel like Paul Wilson on Cheers. Do you guys remember? He was the other guy. He was the other guy who kind of... You felt like the character, but also the actor, was always trying to sort of move closer down the bar to Norm. Does he ever? He never does. He's got his other buddy. Well, you know what? He got his moment to shine in pop culture as one of the Bobs in Office Space. That's right. And I just want to say thank you for having me. I'd be happy to move on to some other role in podcast world where I could have such an impact. I'd be happy to have such an impact as Paul Wilson and as the Bob in Office Space. So, thank you. Thank you. Great. Okay. Thank you. JVL, how are you?
JVL00:06:38I'm fine. We should say to people that Sonny is doing great. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I hope he is. He's gone. His wife is doing great. They've got a beautiful baby boy. I think we're allowed to say baby boy. And I hear that they're all doing well. I think they don't need anything. No, that's what he insisted on. We kept asking them what they need.
Vic00:06:59The writers in the expanded universe, they're good. They're good. But, you know.
JVL00:07:03I'm getting him a comm. I'm getting him a subscription to comm, actually, as my little present for them. Which is really a present for Katie. Yeah. Which is really a present for Sonny and Beth.
Vic00:07:12Oh, very nice.
JVL00:07:13So, Victorino, how are you?
Vic00:07:15How are you? I'm doing well. You know, my present to Sonny is covering for him and all his writers. So, I edited-
JVL00:07:20Was he on work-work paternity leave?
Vic00:07:22I edited 11 pieces yesterday. That was a marathon. Cry me a river. For me.
JVL00:07:28That almost- I saw that Monday.
Vic00:07:31I knew you would say that. One of my pieces was over 2,500 words, and I managed to cut it down to 1,700. Do you ever take that-
JVL00:07:39Who?
Vic00:07:39I'm no names, but do you ever- Mick Morris. No, no names, but you know- Credo. Do you ever have that feeling where you highlight a whole graph and hit delete, and it's like, that's a terrible editor's fault, isn't it?
JVL00:07:51I will give people a little- I knew you guys were all thinking that. A little peek behind the curtain- Oh, please. In how editors work. Well, Claudia Anderson taught me this trick. Oftentimes, as you are looking through a piece, and there's a sentence or a paragraph that doesn't strike you as right, but you can't figure out how to fix it, delete it. Yes. And the percentage of times in which everything is actually made better simply by- Don't spend any more time trying to perfect it. Just make it go away. I would say like nine times out of 10, that fixes things.
Vic00:08:25Yes. And there's also a reverse, where sometimes you feel fixated that you have to change something, and then you can't figure out how to change it, and then you just realize, just leave it there. No one's reading this part down into this piece anyway. I mean, that was an advice from Pod, and he just said, don't torture yourself. Don't feel like you have to. If it's fine, it's fine.
JVL00:08:44It can't all be home runs, as Fred Barnes once told me.
Vic00:08:47You know, this isn't Balzac. Just file, as Fred would say.
JVL00:08:50I remember Fred saying, you know what? Sometimes you've got to hit a single.
Vic00:08:53And the quality of Dundas. Quality of Dundas. Quality of Dundas. And move that nut graph up. Move the nut graph up.
JVL00:08:59OK. Look, it's a bunt. It's an infield hit. That's it. Still get on base.
Vic00:09:01That's it. That's it. So everyone else is doing fine? Everybody has any other thoughts? Yeah, no. Mike? Over the weekend. How was your weekend, Mike? Yeah. I took my oldest son on a bike ride around the lake. Nice. At the park. And it was one of those things where I was like, you know what? This is going to be a challenge for him. But it's one of these challenges that I'd like to see him.
JVL00:09:26He's still got training wheels, right? He's not on two wheels.
Vic00:09:29Actually, he uses a balance bike. Oh, the Strider. The Strider balance bike. Which turned at least one head. There was one guy who was jogging behind us on the trail who was like, where are the pedals? I'm like, it's a balance bike.
JVL00:09:42This is somebody without children because everybody gets balance bikes. Right. Absolutely.
Vic00:09:46I still use it. Well, you know, it's to each his own. Anyway, so it's a long loop trail around this lake near my house in Fairfax County. And it was one of those moments where I'm sort of second-guessing myself as we're starting. You know, is he going to get tired? I left the snacks at home and, like, he's going to ask for these eventually. But there's a point of no return, right? On the loop. Before those point out. Right. Where you just keep going because otherwise you're doing the same thing by turning around. And we passed that. And it was not long after that that the whining started.
JVL00:10:2745 seconds is my guess.
Vic00:10:28But you know what? He pushed through. We made it through. It was an accomplishment. And he was asleep like that Sunday night.
JVL00:10:37Were you like the Japanese dad at VIX5K?
Vic00:10:39Yelling and berating at him. No comment. We have a lot to talk about. JVL, everything else is cool? Everything's fine. You're under the weather, but you're recovering.
JVL00:10:48I'm fine. I'm fine. Michael, I just have something. I don't think we ever did get to talk about. Pinestraw versus mulch. Because I have been told. Reliably. That people who go to Home Depot or Lowe's, which is closing 51 stores in North America. Coincidence? Coincidence? And buy mulch. Substander moves product and it kills product. That is essentially all just who knows what that is. That is organic matter shipped over from China. What, the mulch? Yes, with all sorts of bad bacteria and soil contamination. And that you're a crazy person to put that. On your lawn and to use that. Because when you're doing that, you're essentially condemning whatever shrubbery or tree you are mulching around to eventual death. And that what you should be using is pine straw, which lasts for forever, is all local. It almost all comes from North Carolina. And is just better, breathes better, manages water better, lasts longer. Mike Warren, do you have thoughts on mulch versus pine straw? JVL, you ignorant slut.
Vic00:11:58Mulch is king. Now, I will give you this. Pine straw works very well in climates, in regions where there are a lot of pine trees.
JVL00:12:12We've got to buy it. I mean, it's expensive.
Vic00:12:14Yes. But I think aesthetically, but also functionally, where we live in the mid-Atlantic, there's a lot of water, this sort of swampiness. That's certainly the way it is at my house. I think mulch, properly placed, properly packed onto the ground, is a much better way of avoiding the kind of weed growth that you're trying to stop with mulch. And aesthetically, it looks better because we don't have a lot of pine trees around here. Now, where I grew up in Atlanta, it's Pine Tree Central, so pine straw, my parents still use pine straw rather than mulch. I think it looks fine there, but I don't have any of the concerns.
JVL00:12:58When you go to Home Depot to buy pine straw, man, that's pricey.
Vic00:13:02Do you know if it's from China or no? No, and I don't care, frankly. Oh, you don't care? No. Let me tell you something. If it's from China, I got one word for you, or two words, night soil. Okay, that's what that is. Okay, you're wondering where it goes? It's going there.
JVL00:13:15What color mulch do you do? Do you do the blue, the natural dark brown, the red?
Vic00:13:21Natural dark brown.
JVL00:13:23Natural dark brown.
Vic00:13:24Totally, yeah, exactly, exactly.
JVL00:13:26Anything that says it's guaranteed to keep its color over three months. Three months is certainly natural.
Vic00:13:30Totally, 100%. It's my kind of natural. It's my kind of natural. Okay. I was in New York City over the weekend. Really? Yeah, that's right. This was my annual get-together with my buddies in memorial of my friend Steve Rushford. May he rest in peace. We got together, the five of us, and it was good. But before we got together, I got into the city early, and guess who I had lunch with. Ready for this? I'm ready. Father Roger Landry. Oh, wow. I want to know. He was busy. Father Landry. I'm a busy guy. I'm a busy guy, but you're lucky. There was an opening, he said. And he says, come back from Italy, from Rome, of course. And then he had some cancellations, so we met at Walensky's Grill. And you know what?
JVL00:14:08Was your nameplate on the wall still?
Vic00:14:11Our nameplates? Our nameplates.
JVL00:14:13Were we on the same nameplate?
Vic00:14:15No, we didn't share one. Or did we have just like next to it? No, we didn't share one.
JVL00:14:17Which one of us was on top? Speaking of which. I believe I was the top nameplate, you were the bottom.
Vic00:14:22Well, that's usually the case. I should say this because there was a steakhouse in D.C. Yes, on 19th Street.
JVL00:14:27Vic and I. And we went to, in our single days, three or four times a week. And we got there early enough. And enough to get our nameplates on it.
Vic00:14:33We had nameplates. And that's gone now. At our table.
JVL00:14:36Oh, it's gone.
Vic00:14:37It's gone. But you know what I had? I had the roast beef hash, which they, you know, I mean, it's the old style. And it's still. Corned beef. It's a really. Oh, no, roast beef at Walensky's. It's fancier. And it was, it's still a good menu. And I was like, oh, I missed that menu. It was really, really good. Anyway, Father Landry is doing well. Good, good. And then the drinking began later. And I really thought about this carefully, especially now that I'm getting older, about how to progress in terms of, like, consistency, right? We're going to be drinking all night. Right. What are we going to do, right? And it's stay on. You load up on beer early. Yes, you do that and transition slightly or not. And so, but I thought consistency was important. And then I chronicled here what I had in the order of through the night. Hit me with it. Okay, I started with beer. And then I had switched to sangria because the pitcher sangria was, and it tasted really, I like, I like the taste of sangria. I'm not going to lie. Okay, okay. We're not judging. Oh, thank you, thank you. This is a safe space. But then we went to, like, a pub and then I had Dewars and Soda. Okay. Okay, you know, just a little bit. And then, but then got to a restaurant with seafood. And then I just love a, I love a good martini. So I had the Plymouth Gin Martini. And then after that, I said, okay, I'm ready to transition into this brown spirits. I went Makers on the Rocks and then a little bit of Irish whiskey. You, you, you, you untransitioned from brown spirits and then re-transitioned back in. I did. Okay. Some people do that. And then a Western omelet. At the end of the night.
JVL00:15:59But. How are you alive?
Vic00:16:00I'm still recovering. I'm still recovering. I haven't been the same. I haven't been the same. I'm still alive. I did go for a run yesterday. Let the record show there is a trash can sitting right next to. I'm actually sitting on it.
JVL00:16:12How did you feel in the morning? You must have been hung over.
Vic00:16:16Yeah, miserable. But no, I was never. The weird thing was, it's not really, it's not that one of my friends got completely smashed. But I, but most of us were, we still had our senses about ourselves. About us. It's very strange.
JVL00:16:28What would have happened if you had chased it with kombucha?
Vic00:16:32I really wish I can go back to the Twitter response about that episode of The Substandard where I talked about the kombucha and the quinoa and how they described it as like the leaf blower without the covering on. It's just shooting out the back.
JVL00:16:44I don't know who, whoever the listener is, please remind me because it was so graphic.
Vic00:16:48I loved it. But here's one thing. Okay. And then we can move on. Please. The next morning, right, I go back to Penn Station. I hate Penn Station. I mean, I know. And I know it's the new Penn Station now. But it's still the worst. It's still the worst. It's still the worst. So a lot of people are mulling around in the middle and you wait for the thing to come up. Where's the track, right? Which is the, Sala's going to be on where? And if I like with a minute to go, it'll say track nine west. Oh, I got to get there. Boom. You turn. They're there already. You don't know the secret?
?00:17:15I do.
JVL00:17:16Because I'll tell you all fair. Don't say it on air.
Vic00:17:18Okay. I know the secret. It's a pretty open secret. It's a pretty open secret. A lot of business guys do it.
JVL00:17:22Business guys don't. You know who taught? Outdoor. Yeah.
Vic00:17:28Me too. All right. So I went on Twitter and asking. Nobody told me about it. Maybe they know about it and are afraid to chime in, but I will respect that. Steve Eustaris told me this because he was with his boss and they did that thing and it worked.
JVL00:17:41It always works. It always works. This is like the Pulaski Highway secret, which David Brooks swore me to secrecy on like 20 years ago. I don't even know that. When we were talking. Well, because you never drive up to back and forth from D.C. to Jersey. No, no, no. That's not your quarter. Thankfully for you. But there is a secret passage. Between Baltimore and the Delaware Memorial Bridge, which cuts out whenever there's bad stuff happening on 95, cuts out all of this. And you can get on it from the time of the 695 Beltway from Baltimore, literally all the way through to the bridge itself. And when Brooks told me about it, it was like before Thanksgiving one year, and he was like deadly serious. He goes, you can't tell anybody else about this. Anybody else, because everyone knows about it. Because you don't want people to know about it.
Vic00:18:22Well, I couldn't believe this thing with Penn Station. And you know what it felt like? It felt like the scene in Goodfellas. Where Henry Hill takes Karen to the Copa, and they cut all the lines, and they go in through the back door. Speaking of which, over the weekend, Bohemian Rhapsody took the top spot at the box office with $50 million, followed by The Nutcracker and the Four Realms. I'm not seeing that movie. With $20 million, and in third place, Nobody's Fool, with $14 million. In case you're wondering, it is not the re-release of the Paul Newman-Bruce Willis movie.
JVL00:18:55Paul Newman-Bruce Willis, Melanie Griffith.
Vic00:18:56And first. Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yeah.
JVL00:18:58That's actually a pretty good flick. It is.
Vic00:19:00This is a Tiffany Haddish movie.
JVL00:19:02Oh, okay. And it's not a- Sonny does not like her. Not a fan? Not a fan. I think, didn't Sonny have a rant about Tiffany Haddish? Maybe he did.
Vic00:19:12I can't remember. And it's also not a reboot of the old, it's completely unrelated, just the same time. Unrelated, right, right. Much like Frozen and Frozen. Do you remember? Yes, or Jack Frost and Jack Frost. There was the friendly Michael Keaton. Oh, right, yeah. And then a horror movie. A horror movie called Jack Frost? Okay, anyway. Do you have box office thoughts, gentlemen? What? JVL? I think Bohemian Rhapsody was kind of a surprise. Not to Fox.
JVL00:19:43So Fox has been pushing Bohemian Rhapsody very, very hard for months now. They thought they had a very special movie on their hands, and they turned out to be right. And the critics turned out to be. I would say it seems, I am not a certified writer. I'm a Rotten Tomatoes critic, so I didn't pay attention to what the scores were. The general sense on film Twitter was that people did not like it all that much, but $50 million, that's a lot more than a star.
Vic00:20:07I was there, and the theater was crowded, and people, there were like a lot of well-wishers. You know, so people were, like a lot of people wanted this. You felt like they wanted to get into it, and they seemed to enjoy it. So when did you see it? You saw it over the weekend?
JVL00:20:21I saw it Sunday night.
Vic00:20:23Did you see it at Alamo? Oh, yeah. Nice.
JVL00:20:25Oh, yeah. Almost the best.
Vic00:20:28And what about you? Yeah, I saw it Monday morning at the Angelica in Mosaic in Fairfax County. At Angelica, right? And I saw it last night as well. It was relatively empty, I would say, on Monday morning.
JVL00:20:40Did anyone else see it? I told you that if Gene doesn't show up for this show, I am taking off my headphones and walking out. This and Fifty Shades Freer are the only things that I've ever truly in my heart of hearts needed Gene for.
Vic00:20:56Who is that? What?
JVL00:20:57Wait a second.
Vic00:21:00Hi, Gene. Gene! Bohemian Rhapsody is a fairy tale story about the rock bad queen and Freddie Mercury, who explodes onto the scene. It culminates with Freddie, played by Rami Malek, taking the stage during Live Aid. Now that was a money shot. Freddie lived a lavish life. He wore lavish costumes. How did he keep it all in the closet? And he was a perfectionist. The scene of Freddie and the guys recording the song Bohemian Rhapsody. Take after take after take. I didn't realize he was so a**hole about recording. Gonna have to bleep that. Sadly, Freddie was taken from us too soon. But honestly, who wants to live forever? I give Bohemian Rhapsody four stars. It will rock you.
JVL00:21:56Thanks. Excellent.
Vic00:21:59No, really, you are going to have to bleep that.
JVL00:22:01I don't think we have to bleep that.
Vic00:22:03It crossed the line. It crossed the line. That was inappropriate. How dare he? Thanks, Gene. Now, normally, Sonny would give the big boy review. But his understudy of big boy reviewers is here. JVL, some thoughts.
JVL00:22:19Bohemian Rhapsody is the story of 70s rock band Queen and their frontman, Freddie Mercury. Directed by Bryan Singer, Bohemian Rhapsody is a... It's a period piece which explores the British progressive rock scene of the 1970s and chronicles Queen's rise to fame with songs such as We Will Rock You, Another One Bites the Dust, We Are the Champions, Having a Good Time, and Bohemian Rhapsody. The problem is Sonny doesn't have any tics. I thought we would try to. I'm dying to do a Sonny... Anyway, the movie focuses equally on Queen's musical progress and on Mercury's sexual and moral progress as he explores homosexuality and the drug culture. It's bookended by the band's 1985 performance at Live Aid in Wembley Stadium, which is generally regarded as one of the great examples of the boomer generation's moral impulse for preening. Which is saying something. If you really like Queen or coming out stories or Leather Daddies or generic two-chord arena rock, you will love Bohemian Rhapsody.
Vic00:23:14JVL! The delivery! It was so smooth and it was so calm. Where did you get that from?
JVL00:23:21From our friends at Calm.com. So my voice is so jacked up... It's fantastic. ...that I can't... I can't do the actual L in Calm.com. No, it's a great... I've been talking about Calm.com now for weeks, it seems, and it's the best. I'm giving it to Sonny to help his daughter go to sleep. While I was sick last week, I was using Calm.com not only for my children but for myself. And when my other daughter came to tuck me in one night as I collapsed, into bed at 5 o'clock, she brings her little iPod in and she sets it up at my pillow, my head, and she puts on, this is Clark Peters. I don't even think... You could actually do the voice now. As I was falling asleep to Clark Peters' sleep story, The Butterfly Sanctuary, I realized that not only have I never made it to the end of The Butterfly Sanctuary, I don't even know what the middle of this thing is about. What is The Butterfly? What is The Butterfly Sanctuary about? I don't know. There's a butterfly flying around, there's a kid whose name I think is Jamal, and after that, it's just sleep time for me. It's great. So, Calm, it's an app, you have it on your phone or your iPod, and they have an ever-expanding list of sleep stories read by people with these trance-like hypnotic voices, and they're amazing. I put my girls to bed with it literally every single night. I cannot recommend it enough. If you have kids... And your kids sometimes have trouble getting off to sleep, which is, I think, almost everybody ever, right? It's a... Better Than Benadryl is, again, their corporate motto. If I could eventually get hired by Calm.com, which is my dream gig, I would change their mission statement and their corporate motto to Better Than Benadryl.
Vic00:25:15There's a little copyright in the corner.
JVL00:25:17It's great, and there are people who use it for, like, meditations and a little guided breathing choice. They even have special nap ones. There's a really neat little... little siesta nap story read by my actual favorite reader, Tamara Levitt. And it's, like, a little... So it's a 30-minute thing, and she talks at you for about four minutes at the start, which, you know, again, just try to stay awake. You can't do it because she's, like, a hypnotist putting you to sleep. And then it transitions into just, like, gentle wave sounds, white noise, essentially, for 30 minutes. And at the end of it, it's gradually rising volume of birds chirping to wake you up. Oh, my God. And so it's, like, a perfect, like, little mini REM cycle, too, if you just, you know, like, you really want to zonk out because you were, say, up late with a sick child, Victorino. Yes, yes. You just... It's terrible. ...konk right out, and it's great. So Calm.com, they will give you, right now, a 25% off of a premium subscription, which is a very good deal, but it's worth it even if you didn't get the discount. I say this every week, and it's true. We would still be paying... We would pay full freight for it, and we would still do that even if it was twice the price. This is, like, essential parenting gear for us. So you can get the discount by going to Calm.com. That's C-A-L-M dot com slash substandard. It gives you unlimited access to all of their content. Calm.com slash substandard, 25% off of your subscription. That's Calm.com slash substandard. Thank you, Jay VL.
Vic00:26:55You know... Last time you gave that ad reading, you talked about that butterfly story. I looked for it as a story to read to my kids, but we ended up getting the audio book for The Butterfly Effect. Something different. And then they said, if you like that, you'll like The Mothman Chronicle. So we listened to that. They're not sleeping well, but anyway. Great.
JVL00:27:12I don't think those are on Calm.com. Parent of the year.
Vic00:27:16So lots of questions here. I'm curious what you all think about this. But first of all, as I hinted at earlier, what was the theaters like when you went to see it? Was it crowded? I mean, again, I went on a Monday morning. So it actually ended up being more crowded. There were probably about 15 people on the first showing on a Monday morning. Pretty good, I would say. And you're right, JVL, about sort of the boomer. I mean, it was all boomers. All old people. So it definitely, I think, is... I actually had a neighbor who on Friday went... A boomer neighbor who went with her two nieces for, like, a girls' night out at the movies. And they went and saw A Star is Born. They went and had dinner. And then they went and saw Bohemian Rhapsody. So not exactly my idea of a Friday. You thought there was, like, a reboot of the jazz thing. Yeah, I know. But so there's... The jazz thing. The Neil Diamond one. Not the Al Jolson one. No, no, no, no, no. Goodness. Wow. Anyway, so you can kind of see where the event was. The appeal is here. And maybe why the great box office weekend, the opening box office weekend for them. They don't want to see superhero movies. This is what they want to see. Totally. And, I mean, in a way, it's kind of... It's a superhero movie for that type. I mean, everybody... It's a pre...
JVL00:28:43Isn't Freddie Mercury really just a boomer superhero?
Vic00:28:46That's kind of. Right? I mean, it's a pre-known product, right? A pre-known brand. Everybody knows Queen. Everybody knows who Freddie Mercury is. And so you don't... You don't have to... I mean, the way Star is Born is a little more... Okay, you have to remember the Barbra Streisand movie and sort of... This is a... What's the term of art? The sort of pre-known property, right? Pre-aware. Pre-awareness. That's what it is. And so I can see why it did well. And if you look at even the positive reviews, critics didn't like the movie. Even the positive reviews, those critics also did not like the movie. I think several of them said, you know, look, it's not a good movie. It's not a well-made movie. But, even so, it's entertaining. It grabs you in. You'll love the songs. That last 20 minutes, the Live Aid, where they recreate Spoiler Alert, they recreate the Queen's performance at Live Aid, which people say is the best. That was recreated? You know, it was Chris Nolan. He just packed the stadium.
JVL00:29:52That's funny. I found myself... I was really surprised, because I did not... I realized everybody knows that the Live Aid bands were each given 20-minute sets, and I did not realize that, actually, Queen's set was allowed to be 97 minutes, and I thought it was a bold choice for Bryan Singer to put all 97 minutes of that interminable set on screen.
Vic00:30:11Oh, wow. But, you know, if you like the music, I think, throughout the movie, you're thinking to yourself, well, they haven't played this song yet or that song yet. When are they going to play these songs? Okay, we get to the other ones. Ah, now we can watch it, and it turns into a rock concert. A rock concert, a rock event, or whatever you want to call it. So, I have some thoughts. I've thought a lot about this. That was fan service, but Queen fan service. Right. Do I have to bleep that? Go ahead, Mike. I'm trying to make a serious point here. Please. No, I think that every good review sort of centers on, positive review centers on that end performance, right? And so, there's a bit of a nostalgia factor, right, everybody who remembers from 1985 when it was, people talk, say it was the best live rock performance ever, that particular performance. There were two, but at Wembley. At Wembley, yeah. The Queens at Live Inc. Yeah. And, you know, I've thought about, what is the purpose of this movie? It tells a story that's actually kind of boring, right? I mean, Queen's Rise is totally without obstacle. Essentially, once they figure out who- Yeah, once they got Billy Queen- They just keep making hits, and I guess the obstacle of the record producer, the record company executive, who doesn't want to put out Bohemian Rhapsody, they just go ahead and do it anyway. The whole story is one that's not really without-
JVL00:31:42That's not what the story's about. I mean, the movie is not, the movie is a coming out story. This is, I feel reasonably sure that Bryan Singer has made a deeply personal coming out story that just happens to center around Freddie Mercury. Because that is the only dramatic tension in this.
Vic00:31:57What does that have to do with Bryan Singer? Anyway. How much time do we have? Yeah, okay, go ahead. No, but I think, okay, that's fair. So the only conflict that there is in the movie is this question of Freddie Mercury and his internal struggle, which, by the way, and a lot of people have pointed this out, there are so many factual inaccuracies with the timeline of the movie. Oh. When songs come out, when things happen. I mean, I don't think I'm spoiling anything to say that when- Freddie Mercury tells the band, when he finds out he has AIDS, and when he tells the band that he has AIDS, all of that in the movie happens before Live Aid. Live Aid, like right before we're going on. Right. In reality, he was not diagnosed with AIDS until two years later. He doesn't tell the band until after that. So this is all after Live Aid. But it's all about the timeline, because he says, how much, you know, and he makes that line. Right. What if I don't have much time? So they've changed the timeline of this true story for Germany.
JVL00:32:55Right, because that's the arc. I mean, that is the resolution to his arc.
Vic00:32:59So what I would say, what I would argue, is that the real story here is not that interesting. The narrative of a very successful band that's backed by essentially, it's three above-average intelligence guys and one very talented, sort of flamboyant presence that separates them from every other, you know, good band, with a good commercial sense. That's, okay, so that's not a very interesting story. What people really want, I think, are the songs, are the performances. So this whole idea of, like, putting it into a biopic, I think is, I mean, clearly the box office numbers proved me wrong on this, but I think it would be a lot better, a lot better use of studio's time to sort of go one of two ways, to either create a nostalgia-fueled, almost a review, of the bands, or the singers.
JVL00:33:58Mamma Mia, of Queen? Yeah, no, exactly.
Vic00:34:01Oh! Oh my gosh, that's only a matter of time. Highly, highly, you know, stylized music video types, where essentially you're just moving from hit song to hit song, maybe have a thread of narrative in there, but one that doesn't actually cue to being a biopic, or just essentially recreate a concert with look-alike actors, so that it, you know, so that it looks more cinematic in 2018, in the 21st century sort of look. That's essentially what people, I mean, that's the best part of this movie, are the performances. I don't know, I thought it was, I thought that, to echo JVL's comment, that was essential to the story about Freddie Mercury's own personal, I mean, it's about that, you know? Yeah, no, it's the Freddie Mercury story. Okay, so go ahead, JVL. Well, did you like it?
JVL00:34:52I mean, I did not like this movie by a lot.
Vic00:34:54I liked it.
JVL00:34:56Really?
Vic00:34:56Yeah, well, you know, I mean, I'm easy to please. Anyway, and yeah, I liked the music. It was fine. And okay, good, we reached the ending. I did think at the end, during live aid, I go, okay, I think the best thing they could do is do a medley, where they go from one half song to another half song to a half song, and I felt like there was one extra song too many, and it was probably the one before We Are the Champions, I think. What's it called? Hammer Will Fall or something like that. It's one of their 80s songs. They actually cut out a song from the actual set. They only played for 84 minutes? 21 minutes. A Crazy Little Thing Called Love. That was also in their live aid set. Is that not in the... It's in the movie, but they cut it out of the performance.
JVL00:35:45Yeah, they put it in one of the club performances, I think.
Vic00:35:47They also did a cheap montage to show their rise. You know the part I'm talking about? The different cities? Yeah. And it was really kind of just coming out. We love you, Atlanta! We love you, Denver! Everybody rocks like Springfield rocks. Well, can I say, I mean, this is... We thought they knew how to rock in Shelbyville. But this annoyed me, too, because they have their first American tour, and they're playing Fat Bottom Girls, which in the movie comes before they even come up with Bohemian Rhapsody. But Fat Bottom Girls was on two albums after Bohemian Rhapsody. Now, I know this is like my music, where it would be like, oh, this isn't right, but it sort of, it makes you wonder, what's the point of making this... A biopic, if it's going to be completely... If it's not the true story, and it doesn't tell what's real.
JVL00:36:37Because it's a romp.
Vic00:36:38But can I say... No, no, no, can I say... It's not a real biopic.
JVL00:36:41No, but the best part... Oh, Victorino. But you went... Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Vic00:36:45Can I say the best part besides the casting? The casting was very, very well. I thought the casting was good. The guy who plays Brian May... Oh, I thought it was Brian May! And I kept on thinking, maybe they did, like, that thing in Marvel... I think he's Tim.
JVL00:36:55I think he's Tim from Jurassic Park. No, no, that's not...
Vic00:36:57That's Joseph Mazzello.
JVL00:36:58That's the bassist. Yeah, that's right.
Vic00:37:01But Gwilym Lee is his name. Gwilym Lee is the... But I had to look that up today because I thought, maybe they did one of those things like in Marvel where they made Robert Downey Jr. or Samuel L. Jackson look younger. Look younger.
JVL00:37:09Maybe they did this to Brian May because it looks like Brian May. It looks so much...
Vic00:37:12And maybe it's the hair, you know, just... The hair does everything, but it totally worked. It was weird seeing two actors who I always think of as sinister villains, Aidan Gillen... Yes. ...and Tom Hollander. Tom Hollander, but actually being nice guys. Very strange. Well, Tom Hollander is terrific in the... It's not In the Loop was the movie, but the British TV show where he is... No, he's in In the Loop. Armando Iannucci... He's great in every single thing he's in.
JVL00:37:45He was in The Night Manager.
Vic00:37:46Very sinister. He's great in everything. He's great in everything. He played King George. And, of course, in Pirates of the Caribbean. Well, so... Great. Great. My favorite parts of the movie were actually with the band themselves, and I thought this was actually interesting, the creative process, the way in which they showed that this is actually... Everybody has this idea that Queen is Freddie Mercury and his backing band, but, of course, the truth is that, I mean, all the songs that we know, half of them are written by not Freddie Mercury or more. No, and they point that out. That's right. They do a very good job of showing why this band would be so... ...would work so well together, that they actually fed off... In terms of the complaints, though, I mean, isn't that the same as Amadeus, right? People love Amadeus. And it couldn't be more wrong, right, about Salieri and this whole Fabricate thing, which, of course, was also on Broadway, so there you go. It's going to happen. Yeah. What, a Jukebox musical or Bohemian Rhapsody?
JVL00:38:42So, I didn't like this, and, I mean, we could talk about why I didn't like it if we want to, but I think that's ultimately maybe kind of boring. There are moments of directorial choices in there, which are unfathomable to me. For instance, during the press conference, where all of a sudden it is directed as if it is a TV movie, with, like, hazy zoom-ins and shaky cams. And this is Bryan Singer doing this. You were taken out of it being an actual, like, reasonably high-level production, where the shots are, I mean, whatever you think of it. And the weird breaking of the fourth wall with the reviews of Bohemian Rhapsody. So, when they eventually fight through Bohemian Rhapsody, flash on the screen, like, 25 snippets of critics panning it,
Vic00:39:31and then show, but it became a monster hit.
JVL00:39:34And that's a weird thing to do once in a movie. Like, it's the type of thing where, actually, if you break the fourth wall the way they did in... The Big Short. The Big Short, right, or something like that. Consistently, you're like, okay, I understand what's happening here. To do it once in the middle is just a weird... Again, it's just an odd choice. I don't understand it.
Vic00:39:52Well, and I felt the same way about them. Mike Myers' cameo. Who is a composite?
JVL00:39:56Well, I didn't mind the Mike Myers' cameo until the self-satisfied... The live aid? No, the talking about, you know, this is something that only teenage boys in cars will rock out to.
Vic00:40:08No, no, he said nobody will ever bang their head in a car to this. And then it's like the camera angle is directly facing him, and it's like he might as well have winked at the camera.
JVL00:40:22It was so bad. And he's a composite. Right, he's not a real person. But I would say this. My interesting observation, as I texted you both... Yes, you did. Let's get into that. ...is that if Bryan Singer wasn't gay, this movie would be a hate crime. Because this is the most stereotypically negative portrayal of a gay people, writ large, as I have ever seen. Yes. There is a single, well-adjusted gay character, which is Jim Hutton, who eventually becomes his partner. Every other gay character is either a total social misfit or narcissist, or is evil and grasping, or is just this air-headed, disposable plaything. All of the straight characters are well-adjusted and forgiving. Even Mercury's parents, who were these Pakistani Zoroastrians... Zoroastrians, Indian. Indian Zoroastrians, who... Fascinating. Father, you...
Vic00:41:25That was fascinating.
JVL00:41:26Yes. Again, the choice of the father, who is portrayed as, you know, sort of hectoring Mercury, and the audience, it's, in a way, again, I think is very subversive, although it's not clear to me whether it is intended subversively. He begins by hectoring Mercury about how he's not making anything of himself, and that he's not, you know, what does he say? Something like, you know, you see something, you believe in something, you do things, right?
Vic00:41:46It's like good words, good deeds, good thoughts, or something like that.
JVL00:41:49Right, and so the audience is being hit over the head with this, like, four different times, and you're supposed to... You're supposed to think, oh, well, you know, this dad just doesn't get it and doesn't approve of his lifestyle. And then at the end, when it turns out that he's told that his kid is doing live aid, that is when the dad says to him, yes, good deeds, good thoughts, good words. You know, and the parents are thrilled to have Freddie's gay boyfriend, Jim Hutton. All the bandmates, when he says, I'm gay, are like, okay. Everybody else marries this well-adjusted, normal person living a normal life.
Vic00:42:21They're not party animals. They're like, okay, I gotta go. Yeah, even the party animal guy, Roger Taylor, the drummer, remember, at the very beginning, he's like a party animal, which, can I just say, his casting, he's about 10 or 12 years younger than everybody else in the band, and it shows, and it's like, took me out of it a little bit. But he ends up married with kids, and it's sort of like moving on in a way that it's very real.
JVL00:42:45They're all emotionally well-adjusted. They have lives and interests and things. It is weird, and even to the point, again, the stereotyping, about the gay lifestyle, when does Freddie first consciously start making his turn towards homosexuality? It's when he's on a payphone at a truck stop. The trucker! Literally, a truck stop! Do you know who plays that trucker?
Vic00:43:10It's a cameo. Is that D-Jerk? No, it's a cameo by Adam Lambert, who is the... Oh, that's Adam Lambert? Yes, who is now singing with Queen.
JVL00:43:19So he comes out, he's got a beard and a flannel... Mike Warren, for the win! You know, gives Freddie a good long look before he heads into the restroom for, you know, who knows what. Well, what's wrong with that? Because that's what happens at... And then it closes, and it says men on the bus stop. Men, men, men, and... And then when he starts clubbing, it's like the guys with the leather gimp mask and the leather daddy and all this stuff. I had this thought of it. I just thought to myself at some point, if a straight, if a straight person had portrayed the gay lifestyle with this much disdain as this abnormal, crazy thing... Mm-hmm. ...that is unhealthy, there would have been hell to pay.
Vic00:43:57Okay. Actually, here are my two thoughts. One is a thought, and the other one is just a question I want to throw at you. The first one is, the thought that comes to my mind when I see the trucker going into the, out of the lab, going into the men's room, I couldn't think of a dirtier room to walk into. Even if I had to go to the bathroom, I wouldn't go into that room. It always, it was always, I thought it was so bizarre that that is like with Jim McGreevy and all these other people, you know, they're going to these... Larry Craig. Larry Craig, going to the bathroom. Always in the bathroom. I hold my breath. You know what I mean? I don't, where am I stepping on? It's so gross. This says more about your own proclivities, I think. Like, I'm not doing it there. Even if I had that proclivity, I'm not doing it there. I'm like, okay, do you have like a nice room at the Ritz, you know? Okay. So that's my first thought. Okay, if it's clean, oh, Ritz, well, anything's possible with me. If it's like at the Ritz-Carlton, the St. Regis, oh, well, it is the St. Regis. Okay, that's the first thing. Secondly, is it portrayed this way, JVL, since you're making this argument, is it portrayed this way in order to demonstrate what... what the gay community had to suffer through when it was suppressed before everybody was more out in the open and understanding and normalized so they can be like, you know, live just normal everyday lives where everyone's out and then so, you know, you're not keeping it secret, and when you're keeping it a secret, then you have all these secret communities and these kind of parties and things like that.
JVL00:45:15So, I mean, this is an excellent question, and this points to a real divide in thinking in sort of, you know, gay studies, LGBT studies. Andrew Sullivan wrote a book, Virtually Normal, in like 1995 maybe or something like that, in which he basically posited that, you know, the crazy 70s gay lifestyle was an unhealthy thing and what we all should be doing is trying to move towards nuclear families and settle down, and there was a lot of pushback against that from the gay people who said, no, the gay lifestyle is a thing, like it is a cultural thing and you're not going to take this away from us, and there has been a lot of conflict over this, which culminated in the, you know, enactment of gay marriage, and just as a, because we don't do politics, as a sociological matter, the jury is still out on whether gay subcultures are embracing that heteronormative version of the world or whether they are rejecting it, and nobody knows. Yeah. Nobody knows.
Vic00:46:13Yeah, I had a friend, a gay friend who, years before any of the gay marriage stuff, when it was sort of first being talked about around 2004, his perspective was, why don't we Why would me and my people like to be involved in the two most effed up institutions in America, marriage and the military? I mean, that was sort of his perspective, which I think has been discounted, or maybe even the minds have changed, I don't know, over the years. I thought the, I mean, it was interesting because the movie's theme, or the message or the argument of the movie, Bohemian Rhapsody, is about family, right? It's sort of about belonging to a group of people, and it was almost... It was almost as if that was what Bryan Singer or the writers or whatever were trying to send home, that by sort of going on this sort of gay odyssey that Freddie Mercury does in the middle, and he loses everything that sort of gives him belonging that he actually didn't need.
JVL00:47:13He turns his back on his family for it.
Vic00:47:15That's right. That's right. His real family and his band family. And, I mean, the more I thought about it, JVL, you're... contention that this is a very sort of almost conservative, small-c conservative movie. It just comes through. I don't know. I think it's inadvertent.
JVL00:47:32Maybe not. I don't know enough about Singer, honestly, in his views, other than the fact that maybe he's not the perfect ambassador for this. Yeah, probably not. But it is... I can't believe it's accidental that we wound up with this. Frankly, I think it's part of, probably bound up with the movie's popular success, is that it is not a choice. It is a challenging movie in its view. No, no, no.
Vic00:47:56In fact, they actively, I was reading some interviews, they actively downplayed, I mean, there were some complaints, sort of like, why isn't there, why haven't they depicted more of Freddie Mercury's sort of romantic liaisons, you know, that sort of like... If you want that, if you want that, go see Behind the Candelabra. I saw that one with Liberace, played by Michael Douglas. It's a dark but absolutely fantastic film on HBO. It's so dark. Well, you're not going to... But it's fascinating. You're not going to get that from Bohemian Rhapsody. And there was a conscious decision to, and the complaint was the only sort of romantic sort of encounters that you see, intimate encounters, are with Freddie Mercury and Mary, the woman that he was engaged to. And this was a conscious decision by the filmmakers, they say, to make it more accessible, to make it... Oh, because it's PG, right? It's PG-13. PG-13, yeah. Right, but the idea was you want to get a lot of people in there, and it's interesting, how even in 2018, there's a sense that there's certain lines you can't cross if you want to have broad appeal.
JVL00:49:01Well, but on the other hand, I do wonder if Singer intends this as a statement in, again, that central conflict about gay subculture, whether he intends it as a broadside against it. Does he intend to say that that lifestyle is actually, that this does not lead to happiness, the people who do this are not well-adjusted, we should all be striving for happiness? We should all be striving for some version of heteronormativity, which is fascinating. Do we have thoughts about queen qua queen, though? Because this is what I'd wonder. I am anti-queen. Overall. The music. I mean, anti-queen, the music. I look at it as sort of like, really?
Vic00:49:40Yeah, sure. It's fine with me. Hey, I'll go along with it. That's how I am, if you know what I mean. No, I think queen is interesting because of the broad appeal. I mean, I think it's interesting. I think some detail, it's the-
JVL00:49:56Again, it's accessible arena rock. But queen was the- Two chord, not even one chord.
Vic00:50:01The best-selling band of the 1980s, I believe, in terms of records. I mean, I think we sort of- Their greatest hits was a huge seller. Greatest hits was a huge seller, and you go through that list. Now, I will say, you go into the deeper cuts in the album, and there's some garbage. And I think most of their 80s output is garbage as well. I mean, it's interesting where the movie goes on this question, where they basically say the dance stuff is crap. And I agree with them. I mean, Body Language, you know that song, Body Language? Do not listen to Body Language. It is the absolute worst- But Another One Bites the Dust was considered their disco. That's right. And it's very much- Not my favorite. I like it, and it's- I believe that's their best-selling single of all time. Yes, in the United States. In the United States. That song. It did enormously well. It's nothing.
JVL00:50:44Do you know why?
Vic00:50:44I mean, John Deacon wrote this because he's hanging out with The Sheik, the band, the funk band. He's hanging out, doing a lot of sort of sharing with- With the New York funk scene. Yeah. And so this is where that comes out of. So I will say this in defense of Queen is- We would listen to it when you go on the roller rink. Yeah.
JVL00:51:03Oh, that's right. For Roller Park. Bites the Dust. Roller Park, roller- Skates. Skate parties.
Vic00:51:08Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they sort of had a confidence that they could take really any genre of music that interested them and do something Queen-like with it. This is like Rolling Stone's foray into disco. It was Miss You. Right. Right? Did you like Miss You better than- Better than Another One Bites the Dust? Yes. Yes, I do like Miss You better than- I mean, that album, Some Girls- Some Girls is a terrific album, so I think it's boosted by that. I mean, it's an interesting concept for a band. I think that at that point in the 70s, I mean, you had all these prog rock bands, you had all these- And the way that these bands stick out, the ones that we remember now, they all have some weird quirk about them. And Queen- Queen's was like this weird idea that Freddie Mercury's totally enamored with this British music hall tradition, which is something that we- It's sort of like a cabaret burlesque, but it went in a more mainstream direction in the UK. I mean, Paul McCartney's dad was a music hall musician, and there's a lot of that in Paul McCartney's music. This is an aspect of Freddie Mercury, and then you meld that with this kind of epic prog rock that- Transitions into stadium rock. It's interesting. Now, really quickly, before we run out of time, you have a queen ranking. Oh, yeah. What are you- Mike Warren.
JVL00:52:35What is it, top five? Top ten. Top ten?
Vic00:52:38All right, from least to best. Go from ten to one for me. From ten to one, yeah. So, from ten to one, the queen song ranking for me, number ten, Fat Bottom Girls. Number nine, Killer Queen. Number eight, Now I'm Here. Number seven, Seven Seas of Rye. That was number nine. That was non-intentional, but Seven Seas of Rye. The version on Queen 2, which has lyrics, not the version on Queen 1, which is instrumental. Number six, You're My Best Friend. Number five, Bicycle Race, which was not in the movie. I was very upset about that. Number four, Bohemian Rhapsody, for all of the overplayedness it gets. Come on. It's a terrific song. No, but it is. It's not a terrific song. It is schlock. It's just been- Oh, it's not. Everything else that is like it is just a pale imitation of what is actually a terrifically arranged song.
JVL00:53:25Whenever my children put that song on, I have to fight the urge to reach over and- So your kids like it. Not hit it. So your kids like it. Children like it. Yes. Children think it's fantastic.
Vic00:53:36Wait, you take him to the movie. Okay, Mike, continue. That was number four. Okay, so number three, I'm going to get some gut for this, We Will Rock You. Now, that is so overplayed. Every sports arena plays We Will Rock You. There's one chord in that. No, there's multiple chords in that. But the guitar solo is amazing. It's actually terrific. And that's the best part of the song. And so when that guitar solo kicks in- As a guitar player, you can- Yeah, I just think that he's never been done before, the kind of solo guitar, without any backing. Number two, Don't Stop Me Now, not the least of which because it has a great cameo in Shaun of the Dead, the terrific- That's right. And then number one, absolute best Queen song of all time, Somebody to Love. It is Queen doing Aretha Franklin. It is the best. I would add to that- I would add to that the theme from Flash Gordon. Ah, Flash. Oh, wait a minute. Hold on. Do you mean- Yes, JVL, what?
JVL00:54:31Do you mean this? Yes, I do. I would say this. Yeah. That is so bad that it makes Batdance look like-
Vic00:54:49No, I love that song.
JVL00:54:51Look like Amadeus.
Vic00:54:54And don't forget the clicking of the time. The clock is ticking on Ajax One as it crashes into Ming's wedding. When I saw that movie a thousand times because we got it on VHS, I said, this is better than
JVL00:55:07Star Wars because we had it on VHS. Timothy Hutton is in that movie. No, no. Dalton. Oh, Dalton. Sorry, Dalton.
Vic00:55:13Prince from the forest. Yes. That's my number one- Brian Blessin.
JVL00:55:20That is my number one Queen song, Flash.
Vic00:55:24What about Under Pressure? That was just him alone. Under Pressure. No, no. I mean, was that him? That was Queen and David Bowie. That was Queen with David Bowie, not just Freddie Mercury. That was Queen with David Bowie. That is maybe my least favorite song of all time, not just Queen songs. I hate Under Pressure. Are you serious? I hate Under Pressure. Is it because it's overplayed for you? I like the song. No, it is awful. It is a terrible song. The game song you don't like. Do you prefer Vanilla Ice version? Do you prefer Vanilla Ice version? No, see, his version goes... See, there's that extra duh. All right. You've got to take that to the Supreme Court. Yeah. There you go. Sorry, the volume here. Name a song I don't like. Yeah. I'll get back to you next episode.
JVL00:56:02Okay. Do we need to move on? I think we do. Yeah, we can move on. Okay, you sure?
Vic00:56:08Yeah, I think so.
JVL00:56:08Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's fine. Oh, no. Wait, hold on. Quick. I want Bryan Singer films ranked. Oh, my gosh. Okay, go ahead. Would you?
Vic00:56:18Pass. Mike Warren. I'll give you my bottom three. Okay, so to speak. Go ahead.
JVL00:56:23From, so with one being the worst. So three, building up to the worst. That's the worst. Bohemian Rhapsody, number three. X-Men Apocalypse, number two. Number one, Superman Returns. There you go. It is very, very weird to have a director, and his oeuvre is only 11 movies long. He does not do 11 movies in 25 years or something. Right. To have not just one horribly bad movie, but three horribly bad movies. But then his highs, like The Usual Suspect, is really good. Valkyrie is really good. Valkyrie is really good. It's very uneven.
Vic00:57:01And accurate in comparison to Bohemian Rhapsody. Do you have any other thoughts on that? I just, Usual Suspects was my number one as the best. I haven't seen Valkyrie, so I can't rank it, but I'd probably rank it number two. And then X2, X-Men Days of Future Past, and X-Men. Do you think Rami Malek gets a nomination for this performance? Probably.
JVL00:57:23100%, yes. Yeah. That's why I picked it.
Vic00:57:26Yes, you did. I thought his performance was breathless, and he seemed always exhausted, particularly when he was doing the solo album, and then he's passed out on the couch. I thought, if only this guy had a bed. Speaking of which, Casper is a sleep brand that makes expertly designed products to help you get your best rest one night at a time. The experts at Casper work tirelessly to make a quality sleep service that cradles your natural geometry in all the right places. After all, you spend one-third of your life... ...of sleeping, so you should be comfortable. The original Casper mattress combines multiple supportive memory foams for a quality sleep surface with the right amounts of both sink and bounce. Its breathable design helps you sleep cool and regulates your body temperature throughout the night. Casper now offers two other mattresses, the Wave and the Essential. The Wave features a patent-pending premium support system to mirror that natural shape of your body. The Essential has a streamlined design at a price that won't keep you up at night. All Casper products are designed, developed, and assembled in the United States. Prices are affordable because Casper cuts out the middleman and sells directly to you. Every Casper mattress is delivered right to your door in a small, how-do-they-do-that-size box. Plus, there's free shipping and hassle-free returns in the U.S. and Canada. Plus, you can be sure you're purchased with Casper's 100-night risk-free sleep-on-it trial. Here's a special offer to listeners of The Substandard. Get $50 towards select mattresses by visiting casper.com slash substandard and using promo code substandard at checkout. That's casper.com. slash substandard and use promo code substandard for $50 off select mattresses. Terms and conditions apply. And that's all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, complaints, compliments, tweet us at Victorino Matus at Sonny Bunch. Or Michael R. Warren or JV Last. Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes or Google Play. Just type in substandard under podcasts. We're there. Leave a review. Tell your friends. Until next time. Until next time.
JVL00:59:29I have a couple things. Okay. I have a couple things. We just passed the one-year anniversary of The Megathread.
Vic00:59:34Oh.
JVL00:59:36The Megathread is a year old.
Vic00:59:37It started in November.
JVL00:59:39Wow.
Vic00:59:39You're like shortly after us, like a couple months.
JVL00:59:41One of the guys from The Megathread, who is the host of the Substandard Expanded Universe premium podcast. Sweet Abroad. Sweet Abroad, Tom Lassie. Just got hooked. He's been hooded. I'm afraid to ask. He's got his PhD. Oh. So just he defended his ... I'm sorry. What did you think I was talking about? I don't know.
Vic01:00:00I don't know. We were just talking about ... Congratulations. He's Swedish. He's into nationalism. Oh, good. Yes, that too. Oh, congratulations, doctor. So he's got his PhD.
JVL01:00:09He's been hooded. He's hair doctor, Tomas. Wonderful. It's very exciting for him. We were all super excited. We were ... It was one of these things where on the premium thing, they were all waiting as he went in to defend this. He did a dissertation and waited with that. That's very, very nice. And some big news. Big news in my house. Yeah. Oh. Flash made the travel team. Hey. Did you want him to make the travel team? Pass. Yeah.
Vic01:00:36Your life is over.
JVL01:00:38So he was ... We made the decision to allow him to accept the travel team on Sunday evening.
Vic01:00:46You'll never see him again now, right? You'll see him ...
JVL01:00:48The first parents meeting was yesterday. The first practice is to ... Tomorrow. The second practice is Thursday. The first day of tournaments is Saturday. The second day of tournaments is Sunday. And I would like to just slide this number across to you.
Vic01:01:04Yeah. Yeah, I see that.
JVL01:01:06So you can see how much travel baseball costs.
Vic01:01:09Yeah, that's ... There you go. And that's just ... Not counting the other teams and things. Mm-hmm. Right?
Guest01:01:16Mm-hmm.
Vic01:01:17I hope he remembers this. I'm sure it's fine.
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