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#147. The Substandard Oscar Draft!
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Dudes Chatting — Oscar fantasy draft and A Star is Born preview: JVL recounts Flash's dual-jersey Cubs/Red Sox hedging at the Cubs-Rockies wild-card game ("I've failed as a parent"). Sonny is in the process of decorating his new library, organized by director pantheon (Kubrick, Scorsese, Nolan, Coppola, Spielberg, Wes Anderson, Fincher, Michael Mann, Kevin Smith, Kathryn Bigelow, and others). Vic previews his upcoming trip to Dallas to eat ten fried foods at the Texas State Fair. Sonny attended a Georgetown screening of A Star is Born where Bradley Cooper did a Q&A, and gives his assessment: Cooper is a notch above the "dancing bear" standard for actor-directors, Lady Gaga is graded on a curve and is thoroughly mediocre in non-performance scenes, the film is too long, but there is a banger duet that will be a pop hit. The main event is a full Oscar fantasy draft using a snake format: Sonny picks first (A Star is Born, If Beale Street Could Talk, Vice, BlacKkKlansman, The Favourite); JVL picks second (On the Basis of Sex, Black Panther, Widows, Green Book, Bohemian Rhapsody); Vic picks third (First Man, Roma, The Front Runner, Mid-90s, Crazy Rich Asians). JVL devised a VORM (value over replacement movie) system to grade the picks; Vic admits he made his selections based on trailers alone.
Box Office: Night School debuted at #1 with $28 million. Smallfoot placed second with $23 million. The House with a Clock in Its Walls fell to third with $12.5 million.
Full transcript
Sonny00:00:00I want you to be my VP. I want you. You're my vice.
Guest00:00:03Well, George, I, uh, I'm the CEO of a large company, and I have been Secretary of Defense, and I have been White House Chief of Staff. The vice presidency is a mostly symbolic job. Uh-huh. However, if we came to a, uh, different understanding, I can handle the more mundane jobs overseeing bureaucracy, military, energy, and, uh, foreign policy. So we gonna do this thing, or what? I mean, is this happening? I believe we can make this work.
Vic00:00:53Hello, and welcome to another edition of The Substandard, sponsored by Audible, the largest selection of audiobooks on the planet. I'm Victor Matus along with Sonny Bunch and Jonathan V. Last. I'd like to remind you The Substandard is available on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher. Just look at our podcast and search for "Substandard." You'll easily find us. Please subscribe, tell your friends, and leave a review. Gentlemen, how are we? JVL. What's going on?
JVL00:01:24Great. So great. Everything is great. Please elaborate. I have failed as a parent.
Sonny00:01:30Woo! Congrats.
JVL00:01:32Huge parent fail. All right. What happened? Last-- no. Tuesday night was the Cubs-Rockies play-in game. Can we just call the wild card the play-in game? Sure. Because it's utter Bolstein anyway. And-- Is that a good place? Swear? Bolstein? I think she calls it something else. It's a good place. Well, let's not get it. Flash was decked out in his full Cubs regalia. His blue Sunday-- Oh, right. He's a Cubs guy. His blue Sunday alt rode Chris Bryant jersey,
Sonny00:02:09his Cubs championship hat sent to us by Flag Taylor from the SSEU. Oh, yeah.
JVL00:02:15And he was totally into it, except for one thing-- folded neatly on the side. The sofa next to him was his Mookie Betts Red Sox jersey. So he was basically, all for the Cubs, all for the Cubs. But if this doesn't work out, I'm ready to support the guys
Sonny00:02:38who had the best record in baseball. At least he didn't say, you know those Red Sox,
JVL00:02:44they play the right way. Because that would have been unforgivable.
Sonny00:02:48Question.
JVL00:02:48Yes. This is on me, right?
Sonny00:02:50This is a clear failing of parenthood. Is he trying to, would he argue this is an NL team and AL team thing? Once my NL team is out, I can show from my AL team. I hate those people, but is that what this is?
JVL00:03:06His is just, I just like the guys so much.
Sonny00:03:08He just likes the winners, he likes the winning.
JVL00:03:10The guys, well just the guys on the Sox are such good guys.
Sonny00:03:13How is that any different from play it the right way? I don't know, it's terrible. Question. Howard, yeah, go ahead. We asked him under oath, and we asked him for his favorite team, and then we asked him under oath several days later what his favorite team was, would he have perjured himself the first time?
Vic00:03:38Wow.
JVL00:03:38This is a very dangerous conversation. This brings us close to politics. All the listeners are tuning in very carefully to what the answer is. No, if I want to. What is the answer? Well, he may have done some boo-thing. I don't. Flash, what is the death penalty? The Devil's Triangle. That's just a play, actually, that my catcher and my third baseman and I did to sort of pick off a runner with a snap, throw to third.
Sonny00:04:02That's the Devil's Triangle. That's what that is. In 20 years, somebody's going to be like, were you ever called Flash? And he's going to have to say no. And somebody's going to pull up these archives.
Vic00:04:11Sonny, how are you? By the way, any time I have a lot of broccoli, a lot of boo-thing. Go ahead, Sonny. How are you? Gross.
Sonny00:04:19What? Boo-thing? Broccoli?
Vic00:04:22Oh, yeah. Let's go. Go ahead.
Sonny00:04:24Actually, I'm the same way. Broccoli. Very gassy fruit. Or vegetable. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what it is. The problem is that all vegetables are poison.
JVL00:04:33Is this a thing, like asparagus? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Smell pee thing is a thing? Yeah.
Sonny00:04:37I don't know about that. Have you ever consumed asparagus? Yeah, I've consumed asparagus. Sure. Okay. You know what? We don't need to get into it. Sonny, how are you?
JVL00:04:48Those are some nice shoes you're wearing today.
Sonny00:04:49I know. I'm wearing my great Alan Edmond shoes. I wore them. I wore them.
JVL00:04:53I wish they would sponsor this fine podcast.
Sonny00:04:54Yeah, well, I don't think we're-
Vic00:04:56We've got a lot of good sponsors. This is a good month for sponsors. They're next. Hopefully.
Sonny00:05:01I've done nothing this weekend. I've got nothing to update you guys on. My life is just weird.
JVL00:05:08I took care of my four children this weekend by myself. Whoa.
Sonny00:05:11Good job. With my mother-in-law, who watched Chav King Arthur with me and loved it. You realize that that's not like an endorsement of the film, right? I don't know. What are the other movies that she likes? That's the question.
JVL00:05:24All of them.
Sonny00:05:26She likes all of them. She likes all movies? Oh, that's sweet. Well, that's who Chav King Arthur is really based at. Winning is the audience who likes everything, really. They just want to go see a movie. About 45 minutes in, we're sitting there in our easy chairs, and 45 minutes in, she turns to me and she says, this is an amazing movie.
JVL00:05:46It was so deeply fulfilling to me, except for the fact that my mother-in-law, who is a lovely human being. And a saint, thinks that everything she has ever seen is lovely, and every person she has met. And so it didn't really carry the moral authority.
Sonny00:05:59It took some of the joy out of it for you? Only a little bit. She was totally into it. Yeah. No, I spent most of my weekend- When he went running? When he was running in place, when he was like, wow, he's really running. Look at all that passion. No, I got nothing. I spent the weekend putting together my new library. So that was mostly what I was doing. I got a lot of art to hand out. Hang out. I'll send you guys a picture one of these days, once it's done.
Vic00:06:25Your bookshelves, are they arranged in a particular order? And if so, what? Size?
Sonny00:06:30Dewey Decimal. Genre?
JVL00:06:31Dewey Decimal System.
Sonny00:06:32My bookshelves are arranged. I have three sections of books and one section of DVDs. The books are arranged basically nonfiction with history, pure history at the top. So I've got a lot of Thucydides and Herodotus, because I'm very cultured.
JVL00:06:47How much German history do you have?
Sonny00:06:49Very little. Very little. I do have books about- What's the- You don't have a whole three or four shelves of German history? No, strangely. I don't have that either. At my house. Strangely, I don't have that. And then in the middle, you have the DVDs, which are arranged basically, again, the pantheon directors.
JVL00:07:08Oh, you arranged them by ranking.
Sonny00:07:10I have a pantheon up top, and then Criterion, with all the Criterion movies. And then after that, it's just by alphabetical.
JVL00:07:18I'm sorry, pantheon of individual movies? Individual directors.
Sonny00:07:21Or pantheon of works by directors? Pantheon. It's a director pantheon. So I assume you have- All the way at the left is Kubrick.
JVL00:07:27No, no, don't. Tell me how many directors are in the pantheon, and then allow Victorino and I to guess their identities.
Sonny00:07:33Oh, it's like 15 or so. I mean, there's- Kubrick.
JVL00:07:36Yeah. Scorsese. Yeah.
Sonny00:07:38Nolan. Yeah. Coppola. Yeah. Kurosawa. No. What? I think I actually only own one Kurosawa movie, so I've left him in the Criterion. Is he in the international bit? He's in the Criterion. He's in the international section. He's behind the curtain. Foreign films.
Vic00:07:56Foreign films. Okay. Spielberg.
Sonny00:07:58Yes.
JVL00:08:01Wes Anderson. Yes. It's a little harder now, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you have to think specifically- You're missing some big ones. I know, we are missing big ones. You're missing some big ones that I like.
Vic00:08:11Yeah, yeah.
JVL00:08:12Simon West. No. Come on. John McTiernan. No. Clint Eastwood. Yeah. No.
Sonny00:08:21I actually don't know. I don't know. I don't own many Clint Eastwood movies. All right. I won't guess all 15. Yeah, I mean- Give me more. I don't know that it's actually 15. I was just trying to remember. No. Okay. Wells.
Vic00:08:33Oh, well.
Sonny00:08:35Fincher. Oh, okay. Michael Mann.
JVL00:08:38Oh, right. Sorry. Michael Mann. Come on. I feel bad about that. Michael Mann, yeah.
Sonny00:08:41I have a whole section of Kevin Smith movies, which has been- In the Pantheon? Oh, yeah. Kevin Smith. Okay. Easily one of my 11 favorite directors.
JVL00:08:52Okay.
Sonny00:08:52Okay. I don't know what else is in there. Catherine Bigelow is in there. Hmm.
JVL00:09:00Interesting. Zero Dark Thirty. Patty Jenkins, too?
Sonny00:09:03No. No, come on. Let's not be absurd.
JVL00:09:06Any other lady directors? Oh, you know who we're- The big one we're missing.
Sonny00:09:08You know the big one we're missing.
Vic00:09:09Everyone's going to be- Everyone's shouting at the- Yeah, they are.
Sonny00:09:12The radio right now, because he's number three in the Pantheon.
Vic00:09:18Number three in the Pantheon.
Sonny00:09:20Zack Snyder.
Vic00:09:21Oh, of course. Yeah, of course. I'm sorry.
Sonny00:09:23I thought he lorded-
JVL00:09:24At first came over the pantheon. Yeah, a whole separate- I thought he gets his own shelf, which is just up at the very, very top, a whole shelf that has nothing on it but a single copy, right, facing forward. Unopened. Of Sucker Punch.
Sonny00:09:38Of Sucker Punch. Yeah, the steel buck. A couple of other random ones that are in there that I can remember off the top of my head. Danny Boyle. Oh, sure. In the Pantheon? Oh, yeah. I think he is deeply underrated as a director of- Of film. And, oh, who was I just thinking of? I can't remember. Oh, Edgar Wright, who I like a lot and own like five movies of for some reason.
Vic00:10:03Why not J. Roach? No, I don't know. I don't know. You know, by the way, speaking of Michael Mann, one of our writers, Sonny Brentshare, had recently written a piece about native Canadians who have a beef with Justin Trudeau, and he interviewed- Corresponded on email with Wes Studi. Oh, really? And I said, I can't believe you talked to Wes Studi. He said, yeah, who is he? That mother-
?00:10:30I know.
Vic00:10:31Really? Beep. I know.
Sonny00:10:33All right, so after the movies, then you have fiction books, and then on the wall, the other wall, the wall that you see as you come in, those are the movie books. So I've got a lot of collections of criticism and books by directors, that sort of thing. That's good.
Vic00:10:48That's good.
Sonny00:10:49Anyway, that's how I, and then I spent the rest of the time putting up posters and stuff.
Vic00:10:53I do want to get the new Mike Ovitz book. That sounds interesting.
Sonny00:10:56It does sound good, doesn't it? Yeah.
Vic00:10:58Yeah.
JVL00:10:58I would get it, except that I don't think it could possibly be as good as Richard Rushfield's- CAA's? No, Wall Street Journal review of the book.
Sonny00:11:05Rushfield's review actually made me want to get it. His review is so good that I don't know that the book could live up to it.
JVL00:11:12No, no, not that. I'm sure there's other good stuff in it, but is it as good as the review?
Sonny00:11:19Yeah, I'll probably get it anyway. Very interesting stuff.
Vic00:11:22All right.
JVL00:11:23How are you, Victorino?
Sonny00:11:24Good.
Vic00:11:24We got six or seven minutes out of that. That's it. Good job, guys. That was it? Oh, I was hoping it was like 15. Doing fine. What are you wearing on your face there? No, not to be discussed yet. Can we talk about that next week? No, we can't discuss it. It's not time yet. Don't make me wait. It's not time yet. But it's all over your face. Substandard Quotes is having a field day. Getting ready for next weekend, our whole family is traveling down to Texas, to Dallas, Texas, to visit the Lowe family.
Guest00:11:54Tejas.
Vic00:11:54Tejas. And I am going to be writing about the great State Fair of Texas. And I'm doing a whole thing on 10 fried foods that I ate at the Texas State Fair. So I don't know how to prepare for this in the sense of competitive eaters, as you know, they don't say, oh, I'm not going to eat anything because the next day I'm going to have 50 hot dogs, you know, because actually your stomach shrinks. So I don't know if the same applies with fried foods. Should I have just a little bit of fried? food a day or no fried food at all? I've been eating fruit. I've been eating a lot of fruit and it's been depressing. I don't have any actual medical proof, but anecdotally, I believe that fruit causes depression. That seems legit. I can believe that. Fruit versus like bag of potato chips. Fruit and vegetables. You know what that leads to? Sadness. Depression and then suicide, probably.
Sonny00:12:44Probably. Probably.
Vic00:12:45JBL, speak. Question. You think I'll survive? Well, I have questions for you, too. Can I ask my question? Sure, go ahead. All right. You had issues, or maybe you still have issues, I don't know if we could talk about this on the air, regarding things you are able to eat. Remember one of the big things you mentioned was fried foods. That became a big deal for you at some point. Are you able, do you have to studiously avoid eating fried food?
JVL00:13:12I don't think so. Okay. On the sort of no carb-ish.
Vic00:13:16I mean, for other reasons, but no other. Okay. No, no, I'm fine. Okay.
Guest00:13:20I'm fine. Oh, good.
JVL00:13:22I think for your purposes, you do not want to cleanse the system and then throw all the fried foods into it.
Vic00:13:29Like skipping breakfast altogether, go right to the fair, and then boom.
JVL00:13:33I think you would like to have a... But how does this work with the RG? Well, this is why I'm...
Vic00:13:38It's being reduced in advance, and then on Saturday... Okay, so this is a one-off.
JVL00:13:43It should maybe even... Yeah. Are you going to be okay?
Vic00:13:45I don't know. I'm kind of scared. I interviewed some folks at the fair already, and one lady was telling me, you should just take bites of 10. I don't think you can get through 10. My gallbladder might explode or something. So I've been taking that into account, but we will find out. It'll be great. Hey, but you know what? It'll be great for clickbait. Or it'd be like a wine tasting. It'd be like a wine tasting. Where you go and you have a sip. Yeah, maybe. And then you spit out the food. Maybe. But of course... But as you know at wine tastings, I always finish the wine. Well, yeah, no.
Sonny00:14:16This is the problem when we would go to wine tastings together, because what we would do is we would all drink about three bottles of wine and then we would have dinner.
Vic00:14:24Really messy.
Sonny00:14:24Where we would get more wine.
Vic00:14:25Really messy.
Sonny00:14:26Question. Yes, JVL.
JVL00:14:28Are you and Peter going to take your children to a casino and teach them how to yell at the dealers?
Vic00:14:33I imagine there are probably casinos. At this point in time, there's casinos probably in every state now. But no, no, we're not. I don't think that's part of the itinerary. Yes.
JVL00:14:43My son wants to see a scorpion.
Vic00:14:45That's what he said. Just, you know, out in the... Like, he thinks that the scorpions are just out and about, which maybe they are.
JVL00:14:50I don't know. Are you going to... Yell at college basketball referees? Because Peter Lowe, if I'm not mistaking, was a yeller. Very.
Vic00:14:59Yes, he was a fierce yeller. He was a very angry young man. Very angry. And, in fact, the day we're going is also the day of the big Texas OU game. So they say it's really... They said, do once in your life, they've been telling me. The Red River Shootout or something? Are you going to go, too? It's at the Cotton Bowl, but no, we don't have to. Which is good, because then the ride will be easy for the kids to get on the rides, because everybody will be at the game. I'm not a college football guy, as you know, and I don't have a strong feeling about that. I'll obviously be, you know, there, but...
Sonny00:15:29College football is trash.
Vic00:15:30Oh, okay. You know. Even if you went to a school that had a fairly... No. The University of Virginia? Was it part of the ACC, right? It's part of the ACC football. Yeah, sure.
Sonny00:15:41I mean, we have a football team that sometimes goes to bowl games when they're like seven and six. That's more than Georgetown, so...
Vic00:15:50Anyway, but one of the things... I'm definitely going to be trying there is like the Fletcher's Corny Dog, which is the, I believe, the original from 1942. They claim to have invented it, right? So, corny dog with a little mustard on top. It's supposed to be fantastic. And some ketchup. Oh, okay. Yeah, you got to put some ketchup on that. Mix it. Mix it up. Could be exciting. Jonathan's getting sick. And the winner, they had the Big Tex Taste Awards, right? And so, one of the winners is the... It's called Fernie's Fried Hoppin' John Cake. And I spoke to the lady, so she... That sounds very racist. Excuse me. It's a Southern... It's a Southern thing. It does have black eyes. Well, then it's definitely racist. Why is it racist?
JVL00:16:27I'm very uncomfortable here.
Vic00:16:28It's called... Well, anyway, it's the Hoppin' John is their father, and he named it after him. And it contains... Okay, that's probably a little better. It contains black-eyed peas.
Sonny00:16:38John was actually a grand wizard. No, I'm just kidding. That's probably actionable. I'm just... That's a joke. I'm not being serious.
JVL00:16:47Over the weekend, night school...
Vic00:16:52No, I... Are you holding that secret? Oh, no. I think a lot of it is when I get there. There's going to be... Well, you've got to save it. You've got to save it for the show. Yeah, of course. You've got to save it for the article that we're... Yeah, I know.
Sonny00:17:02I assume the Free Beacon is picking up the tab for your whole family's trip to Texas. Not for the whole family. No, no, no, no, no. Because, you know, you're going to write... I think you're picking his wife. They have to pay for the kids.
Vic00:17:10You're going to write... I might reimburse myself for the tickets. You're going to write, you know... The tickets thing, I'm very suspicious of, by the way. You know how you go to a carnival fair, there's always tickets? I think the whole thing is like the exchange... You mean for the rides? Yeah, for everything. There's tickets for food, tickets for rides. If you do an exchange of currency, I'm sure it's an amazing rip-off.
Sonny00:17:27It's like that Simpsons episode where they go to Itchy and Scratchy Land, and the guy at the front is like, do you want to get some Itchy and Scratchy bucks?
JVL00:17:35It's like real money, but more fun.
Sonny00:17:36It's like real money, but more fun. And Homer gives them like $1,500, and immediately they walk into the park and all the signs say, no Itchy and Scratchy dollars accepted.
Vic00:17:44Right. No. That's my big nightmare. But, oh, we'll see what happens.
Sonny00:17:47Anyway, I'm going to move on from that horribly racist food. Yes. Okay.
Vic00:17:52Over the weekend, Night School took the top spot at the box office with $28 million, followed by Smallfoot. Sonny, what is Smallfoot?
Sonny00:18:03It's an animated movie about a Bigfoot who discovers a human, and you see the joke is that Bigfoots think that humans are mythical creatures because they have small feet.
?00:18:15Oh.
Sonny00:18:16Do you get it? Because they're Bigfoots?
Vic00:18:18Is this DreamWorks? What is this?
Sonny00:18:20Is it DreamWorks? DreamWorks animation?
Vic00:18:22I can't wait. I got an idea for you.
Sonny00:18:24I can't wait to not watch this.
Vic00:18:25Remember that abominable snowman from Monsters, Inc.? How about make a movie about him?
Sonny00:18:29Okay.
Vic00:18:30Okay. So then, and in third place, The House with the Clock and its Walls, with $12.5 million. Smallfoot did $23 million. Sonny, you saw Night School. How about a review? I did not see Night School. Oh, what? Why not?
Sonny00:18:42I did not see Night School for a variety of reasons. Um, but the, the main reason is that I find Tiffany Haddish to be totally, uh, uh, insufferable. That's the word. Is that the word? Insufferable?
Vic00:18:56I don't even know who Tiffany Haddish is. She's an actress. Is she playing to, uh, a certain character or is she playing a different type? I mean, I don't know. Is she playing herself? She's playing the same sort of character. Oh, okay. Nevermind then. Yeah.
Sonny00:19:07No. Doesn't happen for me.
Vic00:19:09Uh, I, well, I, I'm just feeling uncomfortable discussing this, so we're just going to move on. I want to talk about Boomerang, but, uh, I love Boomerang. I love, you know, Boomerang was a great movie.
Sonny00:19:18Boomerang? Boomerang with Eddie Murphy? The Eddie Murphy movie from like 25 years ago?
Vic00:19:22And I saw a picture of Tiffany Haddish.
Sonny00:19:24What made you think of Eddie Murphy's Boomerang, Vic? So I saw a picture of, this is so uncomfortable. No wonder you love Johnny's, you know, hot dogs or whatever.
Vic00:19:33Uh, the Hoppin' John. Okay. So the, uh, the, um, uh, what was I saying? Oh, yes. Oh, so Tiffany Haddish, there was a picture of her from the movie Night School and I was wondering if it was a similar character. She's a teacher? She's a teacher. She's just a teacher. Yeah, well, there you go. Okay.
Sonny00:19:50It's annoying. I, I don't, I don't, I don't particularly. But just because.
Vic00:19:52Okay, let's, okay.
JVL00:19:53Wasn't there a raunchy 70s comedy called Night School? Was that like the night shift? Are you thinking Night Court?
Vic00:20:00No, there, no, but, uh, there, there was a, there was a, uh, a movie in the 70s called, uh, uh, Cooley High, which became the basis of what's happening. Uh, okay. But you know what? I'll tell you what's interesting. Uh, the director of Night School is also the director of Night School. The director of Night School is the director of Undercover Brother, Malcolm Lee, who is actually a graduate of Georgetown. Pause. Oh. Yes.
JVL00:20:23The movie Night Shift was actually directed by Ron Howard.
Vic00:20:25No, Night Shift. Not Night School. Oh. Never mind. Night Shift is great. Michael Keaton, that's like a real debut for him. Henry Winkler. Yeah.
JVL00:20:34Shelley Long.
Vic00:20:34That's where I learned about pimps. That's where I learned. That was a, that was a Mattis family. Everyone look, there's a show tonight called Night School. Let's all watch it.
JVL00:20:40That, that came out in 1982. Yeah. So you would have been nine years old.
Vic00:20:46In fairness, in fairness, by the time it came to HBO, it was probably 1983.
JVL00:20:50You would have been 10 years old. There's a great, and Michael. What's a pimp? I know, no. Well, Victorino.
Vic00:20:57And you're like, and they're, they're doing it in the morgue, and then they, and Michael Keaton's explaining how you break down the word prostitutes, pros, and then he's like, tit, you know, this whole thing. It was, I thought that was funny. Pros. Pros, pros, tit. I've actually, I've actually never seen this movie.
Sonny00:21:10Night School? It's very good. Yeah, I've never seen it.
Vic00:21:11There's a great scene where the actual pimps come in. It's very much like Risky. Risky business, where they try to do their own thing, but then the real people, the real pimps come in. Joey Pants? Yeah, that kind of a thing, and they stick a fire hose in, I think it's Henry Winkler's mouth, and that was, that was very funny. Great antics. Great antics.
JVL00:21:30That was a great Mattis Family movie. Night School. Night Shift.
Vic00:21:34Okay, no. So, Malcolm Lee directed Night School, and he's a Georgetown grad, along with Mitch Hurwitz, right? Arrested Development. Jonathan Nolan. And Bradley Cooper. You see where I'm going with this, of course. He's probably, he is obviously Georgetown's most famous graduate now.
Sonny00:21:54Do you think that's true?
Vic00:21:55I guess that's probably true. More than Clinton? I'm sure they don't want to, people don't want to mention Clinton anymore.
Sonny00:21:59Well, yeah, I mean, I guess there's, you have Bill Clinton, but also, I mean, what about like Patrick Ewing?
Vic00:22:03Patrick Ewing, sure. The answer, but he only did two years. Allen Iverson. I know, but he attended, as we say, he attended. He attended. He attended Georgetown. He didn't graduate. And so, anyway, but Bradley Cooper, and you had made a job. I made a joke, Sonny, recently, because something on Twitter about he's going to do another Clint Eastwood movie called The Mule. The Mule. Oh, The Mule, yeah, that's right.
Sonny00:22:24And you said, what did you say? I'm just glad to see that Bradley Cooper is actually, he has an award season movie coming out this year. Finally. Finally. The Mule.
JVL00:22:32I wasn't sure if he was going to have one. Yes.
Sonny00:22:34I haven't seen any ads, I haven't seen any advertisements for a Bradley Cooper award season movie, so I'm glad to see that he's making The Mule with Clint Eastwood.
Vic00:22:42That's interesting. I have not, this is a, honestly, I have never seen a Mule. I have never seen American Sniper.
Sonny00:22:48You don't need to.
Vic00:22:49Yeah, you haven't seen it, did you, JVL? And I like Clint Eastwood movies, but I think it's probably very hard to get through, even if it's like once. It's the kind of movie you would only see once, right?
Sonny00:22:57It's not that hard to get through, it's just not that good. Oh, really? I think it's deeply mediocre. Wow. And I am, I mean, I'm very like hot and cold on Clint Eastwood, sometimes I think he's great, sometimes I, but when he's directing, I usually tend towards cold. I don't care for American Sniper, I think it is, I don't think it works, I don't think the movie works, I think it's disjointed.
Vic00:23:16I was thinking if I skip the movie, but I don't want to read the book, maybe there's another alternative and I can, I don't know, listen to American Sniper on Audible. What do you think, JVL? I'm sorry, that was a two-stage transition. Two-stage transition!
JVL00:23:29It was so hard, it was so hard. It's like an ICBM where the first stage drops off. It was a mirth, it was a, yeah, multiple warheads.
Sonny00:23:37But they are not independent, though, so is it really a mirth?
JVL00:23:39Okay, so we have a new sponsor, Audible, and Audible, I've been an Audible customer for years now, ever since we moved out to the Exurbs, but I'm not sure how they want us to do the reads, so I'm just going to read the reads instead of giving you my testimony hole, and maybe the Audible... In addition to? People will tell me what they ask. I think you can probably do both. From the guy who's never done a read, ever?
Sonny00:24:03It's not my fault nobody wants me to read, I would love to do reads, nobody ever wants me to. Who do you want to have... Nobody ever wants me to do any reads.
Vic00:24:09Who are you going to read for? What advertiser would you like?
Sonny00:24:11Do we have any liquor sponsors?
JVL00:24:15It looked like if we all listened more, listening to audiobooks motivates us, inspires us, even brings us closer together. There's no better place to listen than Audible, because now Audible members get even more exclusive audio fitness programs, audiobooks, Audible Originals, and more. Audible has the largest selection of audiobooks on the planet now, and with Audible Originals, the selection has gotten even more custom with content made for members. Every month, Audible members get one credit good for any audiobook. They choose plus two Audible Originals from a changing selection that they can't get anywhere else. They also get access to audio fitness and health workouts created exclusively for Audible. Plus, your books are yours to keep. With Audible, you can go back and re-listen anytime, even if you cancel your membership. Didn't like your audiobook? Exchange it. No questions asked. So I am an Audible subscriber. This is, I'll give my brief thing. I love it. Like, really, really, really, really love it. My commute is really long. I listen to audiobooks. Audible constantly. I have achieved all of their stupid in-app badges for, like, number of hours that you've listened. It's actually very reasonably priced. The selection is almost total if they make an audio version of something that is on Audible. And it's even integrated with Apple CarPlay, if you have a car that does that, which makes the whole experience of using it in the car fantastic. It's one of the few apps that's actually integrated with it. It's great. I really... No kayfabe. I love Audible. They're really good. So, start your 30-day trial and get your first audiobook free. Go to audible.com slash substandard, or just text substandard to 500500. You can do it with audiobooks. That's audible.com slash substandard, or just text substandard to 500500 to get started. And I should also say, Audible is a Lord Bezos company. So, if you need even a further inducement or testimony to its quality, Lord Bezos doesn't do things that aren't quality.
Vic00:26:23Do we assume that people at Audible are making at least $15 an hour? That's the question.
JVL00:26:29I don't know. I mean, I think Audible is a little bit like Zappos in that when Amazon bought it and brought it into the board, they let them sort of operate as their own thing. The Zappos is its own thing still, even though Amazon owns it. I believe the same as Audible. Whenever I've had to deal with the Audible customer service, they've been unbelievable. Oh. It is one of these things where they are so customer service focused. I think because they worry that one of the barriers to entry is people being afraid,
Sonny00:26:55like, what if my thing doesn't work?
JVL00:26:57Can I ask an audiobook question? Yes.
Sonny00:26:59I have never listened to an audiobook. I don't really do that. When you listen to an audiobook, is it just one person who is reading the whole thing? Most often. So, it's not like a play where they have multiple people reading multiple parts.
JVL00:27:15Our productions that are like that, they are infrequent. The Standard is a typical reader. And there are people who are, like, amazing audiobook readers. There's this guy, Simon Vance, who is like the Laurence Olivier of audiobooks and who is amazing. And you will find readers who you love and readers who you dislike.
Vic00:27:34And sometimes they have, like, famous actors and maybe the author themselves.
JVL00:27:40Yeah, when I recorded What to Expect, I recorded that myself. Like, you know, we could get a professional reader. And I'm sure the professional reader would have been better than me.
Vic00:27:50It would have been weird.
JVL00:27:51I didn't care. I just wanted the experience of doing it. Because I looked at it much less as a money-making proposition than a, hey, this is a thing that I will never get a chance to do again. So I would just like to do it myself.
Sonny00:28:03How long did it take you to read your book?
JVL00:28:06It's a short book. I think it's a total of, like, 10 hours. And I did it over three or four. Do you read the whole book?
Sonny00:28:14Yes. All the words in the book. So you read the whole – it's not abridged?
JVL00:28:18No.
Sonny00:28:19They make a – I mean, you don't bother abridging a book as short as mine. Right, right, right. But, like, so, like, how long is the stand in a real book for? Wow. Yeah, right? I bet it's, like, 20 hours, 25 hours or something. No, no. It's probably – Like, 100 hours. It's probably 50 hours. A million hours.
JVL00:28:34It's, like, eight cassette tapes. It's probably 50 hours. I will effort that while you look. Okay.
Vic00:28:42All right. Well, thank you, JVL. Yes, thank you. Thank you. Obviously, we were hinting at A Star is Born, which is the – 47 hours, 52 minutes. That's good, especially if you, you know, I mean, long commute.
Sonny00:28:55There you go. It's like three days of commuting if you live in D.C.
Vic00:28:59Hiyo. Okay. So, we were talking about A Star is Born, but that's not the only movie coming out on Thursday. There's another movie that people are talking about a lot of buzz, right?
Sonny00:29:09Well, as longtime listeners of the show know, we talk about shows the weekend after they come out. And the reason we are kind of – the reason you'll see what we're doing in a moment, very exciting, very exciting format switch. But I've seen A Star is Born. It comes out tomorrow. It comes out on Friday. You've seen it. I've seen it. And I actually saw it in Georgetown. Bradley Cooper was at the screening. He, like, gave us a little talk, talked about, you know, what it was like. He was very humble, very nice guy. Real credit to Georgetown University. And it was actually a nice chat. It was like he did a modest Q&A. He talked to the producer. I want to say it was George Stevens Jr. I might be wrong on that. And then he took some questions from the audience. And the questions from the audience were, by and large, not terrible, which is very unusual with these things. Usually it's like, what was it like to work with Lady Gaga? Mr. Cooper, you were in the Silver Linings movie. And you love the Eagles, right? You love them.
Vic00:30:20No, I think this is a mix of critics and, like— It was critics and normal people. Oh, my gosh.
Sonny00:30:25It was critics and Georgetown students. Oh, okay.
Vic00:30:27So, you know, it's cut above your average audience. Oh, no. JVL just took his headphones off. Oh, no. He's walking out of the studio. No, come back. Was Bradley Cooper accompanied by his fellow classmate, who's now, like, a big-time producer? And they were doing this together, because they gave a talk, and, like, obviously nobody knew the woman.
Sonny00:30:50No, the guy he was talking to was, like, the founder of the AFI. He's old. Oh, yeah. Okay. He did not go to Georgetown with Bradley Cooper.
Vic00:30:59No. Okay.
Sonny00:31:00Anyway, the movie—I'm going to talk about it this week, because we're not going to review it next week, and I have a sense that Vic and JVL have no interest whatsoever in seeing the Bradley Cooper Lady Gaga.
Vic00:31:12I don't know. For $5 on a Tuesday, maybe. I don't know. It's either. Either that or Venom.
Sonny00:31:17Venom looks pretty great. I've heard great things about it. What have you heard? I've heard the backstage stories, just to really inspire confidence in me. It's fine. It's very fine. It's going to get lots of awards season consideration. Careful. Don't tip your hand. We'll get to that.
Vic00:31:37We'll get to that. We're talking about a star's point, right?
Sonny00:31:39We're not talking about Venom. Okay. And JVL once made the point that— When actors direct, it's kind of like plotting a dog who stands up on his hind legs for being like a human. Dancing bear. Or a dancing bear, right? Because, like, oh, look, this bear dances. Well, bear doesn't dance well. He just dances. I would say that Cooper is, like— I would say he's a notch above a dancing bear.
JVL00:32:04He's in the—
Sonny00:32:06It's fine. He does a lot of little things well, which I appreciate. The problem is that the movie is, like, really— It's really long. It's almost two and a half hours long. It's two hours, 20 minutes long, something like that. And it has been done before. It's been done to death. This is the fourth version of the movie. Right, this is the fourth iteration. Lady Gaga is not a good actress. Don't listen to what people are going to tell you about this. Everyone is raving about Lady Gaga. Oh, she gives such a— And she does give a very good performance when she's actually performing, when she's singing the songs, when she's out there on the stage. That all works really well. But when she's, like, called upon to do normal human things and, like, she's fine. Totally mediocre. But like The Dancing Bear, where the actor who wants to direct, the singer who wants to act is the same kind of thing, and they're graded on a curve, and this is why. But you— Barbra Streisand has had a whole career, so.
Vic00:33:00Yes. Yes, The Prince of Tide. She was so hot in that movie. When I read your review, edited your review— Yes. It will be up tomorrow. Oh, okay, okay.
Sonny00:33:11But the music. You kind of like the music. Well, I wouldn't— I wouldn't say that I kind of like the music, but I know what is— I know what will be successful.
JVL00:33:20Ah, okay.
Sonny00:33:21So there's a duet between Cooper and Gaga that is, as the kids say, a banger. That song is a banger. It's a banger. It's going to be a big hit in the pop charts. Okay. And Cooper also has a song that he sings on it. Cooper and Gaga— I think Cooper wrote some of the songs on his own, and Gaga wrote some of the songs on her own, and then they wrote some together. I'd be curious to know, what all the negotiations about that stuff was like.
JVL00:33:48I'm sorry. Bradley Cooper acts and is a movie star. And he sings! He speaks French. He went to Georgetown. And he writes music, too. And he goes to Wimbledon every year. What time is it? And he goes to Wimbledon every year. What time is it, Sonny? And he probably— F*** that guy.
Vic00:34:05And he probably is a good cook, too, because he was in that movie, you know, what is it, Burned or whatever it is? Burn. Burn, something like that. Remember that? So he probably is a good chef.
JVL00:34:15He's everything.
Vic00:34:17Okay, so we thought, because since there really is nothing that came out this weekend, what were we thinking about doing as a special treat? This is Sonny's brainchild. He should get all the credit for this. This is a genius idea. It's a special treat for our listeners. Go ahead.
Sonny00:34:34So nothing is out this week, or nothing came out last week for us to talk about this week, really. And I thought we should do an awards season preview. But awards season previews, can be kind of lame, because sometimes it's like, oh, what are we, you know, you just say what the movies are, and then we talk about you. So I thought, to spice it up a little bit, we could do an Oscar draft.
JVL00:34:56Fantasy draft for Oscars?
Sonny00:34:57An Oscar fantasy draft. It's happening. It's really happening. So what we're gonna do right now, in this room, as we speak, the three of us are going to choose the films that we think will win the most Oscars and garners the most nominations. So if I remember correctly, JVL, do you want to lay out the point structure for us? Do you have it there in front of you?
JVL00:35:22No, I don't have it in front of me. I proposed it. I don't know that I had it in front of me. The idea is we want to give points both for nominations and for wins.
Sonny00:35:29And we want the major categories to get more points for both nominations and wins. Correct. But I would have to... Okay. Do we know? We'll finalize the points later.
JVL00:35:40I think the idea was two points for a nomination.
Sonny00:35:43One point for... All right, so we're gonna do we're gonna break it down into major categories and other categories. For lesser categories, you get one point for a nomination and two points for a win. So this is like cinematography or editing or... Screenplay. No, screenplay is a major... Screenplay is major.
JVL00:35:56Major category. Oh, idiot.
Sonny00:35:57You're a writer. Idiot. Jesus.
Vic00:35:59I thought you were gonna count it at all. Oh, thank goodness.
Sonny00:36:02Or like costume design, stuff like that. Question. Yes.
JVL00:36:05Where does foreign film come in?
Sonny00:36:07That's a minor category. Minor category. Animation? Frankly, minor category. All these are minor categories. The only major categories are... The writing categories adapted in original screenplay. The acting categories for both men and women. Director... Women too? Yeah. Director and best picture. And I think that is... Those are the major categories. Music? Music is... No, music... Everything else is minor. The major category... These are the major categories. Sonny, there's some movies coming out where the music is going to be amazing. The major categories are and have always been writing, acting, directing, best picture. Particularly... Those are the...
JVL00:36:45Both flavors of best picture, correct, and both flavors of writing. So both original screenplay and adapted screenplay and both popular best picture movies. They scrapped that category. Well, they scrapped it?
Sonny00:36:56They undid it? Oh, no, that's not happening. They scrapped that category. That's not happening. So just best picture. Wait a minute.
JVL00:36:59After all that announcement, they were like, never mind. They were like,
Sonny00:37:02we haven't thought this through, so we're not going to do it. Are you kidding? No, that's a thing that happened. It's on hold. It's not gone.
Vic00:37:09It's just on hold. It's on hold until people forget about it. That's amazing.
Sonny00:37:12All right, so we're going to do a drawing. So we're going to do a drawing. There was some discussion about who should get to pick first.
JVL00:37:19So we're going to do a drawing. It doesn't make a difference.
Sonny00:37:20We're going to do a drawing to see who gets to draw first. All right, so we're going to draw for the drawing order.
Vic00:37:28Wait, that's not it. Are you just shaking your drink? I'm shaking my drink. All right. Don't look. No, no, no.
JVL00:37:35So this is the drawing? This is the drawing for the drawing. For the drawing, yes.
Vic00:37:39And don't try to dog ear these tickets, like in Monopoly, for the get out of jail. Number one. I go third. Number one. I draw third. I will first.
Sonny00:37:48I got two. I got two. All right, hold on. And it's a snake draft. Yes, snake draft.
?00:37:54All right.
Vic00:37:55Okay.
?00:37:56Okay.
Vic00:37:57I'll give it to JVL then.
Sonny00:37:58All right, ready to draw. Don't say what your number is. We'll reveal them once everyone is picked.
Vic00:38:05Okay. Did I get all three? Yeah. All right. I hope you didn't fold anything.
JVL00:38:13I have drawn. Victorino has drawn. Now Sonny removes the final one.
Vic00:38:20Okay, you're opening it. We're opening it now.
JVL00:38:21Everybody opens now.
Vic00:38:23One.
JVL00:38:24I got the one. I got two. I got two. I wanted three.
Sonny00:38:30Well, you get the third and fourth pick. That's a power spot. That is a power spot. That's exactly what I wanted. That was bad for me.
Vic00:38:38I got two in the candy trap. No, two is better.
JVL00:38:40Actually, the truth is one is the danger. I think. You're in a dangerous position.
Vic00:38:47Well, there's nobody more knowledgeable right now. Sonny has a slight edge because he's familiar with many of these movies.
Sonny00:38:55Let me line up my laptop just so I can keep track of who has taken one.
Vic00:39:01Well, I'm very excited.
JVL00:39:02We have a three-minute time limit per pick.
Vic00:39:05There's no time limits. We're just picking the thing. Considering we're at 42 minutes or whatever it is. Okay.
Sonny00:39:13So, with the number one pick in the Oscar season draft, Sonny Bunch takes A Star is Born. Genius. Genius.
JVL00:39:25Now, can I talk a little bit about your pick here, Sonny?
Vic00:39:28Yes, please.
JVL00:39:29This is the blue chipper. You've got best picture, best song, best director, best actress, best actor. And I think all of those are locked-in Stone Cold nominations.
Sonny00:39:41I would say that's a safe bet. It's a guaranteed win, right? That's an automatic.
JVL00:39:46Now, as I was... There are some people who might have slept on this. The way some people thought about sleeping on Shaquille O'Neal in 1992 as he was coming out of LSU. There were people, you may remember this, who thought, oh, Christian Leitner's more versatile. He'll be better. No. You go with the blue chipper. Sonny, this is a genius pick. As I was going through and analyzing all these things and constructing the form, the value of a replacement movie, I had this graded out as number two overall with a VORM of plus five. Oh. What is number... What have I missed? What is number one?
Vic00:40:21Yeah, that's... See? That's a fascinating question. There was something better than that.
JVL00:40:25A plus five VORM, a fantastic pick.
Vic00:40:26Keep in mind, it's what we think is not what we love. I haven't seen these movies, but rather what we think was going to win. Yes. This is all about winning.
Sonny00:40:36This is not about... I don't think that A Star is Born will make my top ten at the end of the year. Personal. This is just what I think will be...
Vic00:40:45Okay.
Sonny00:40:47Victor Matus.
Vic00:40:49I'm going with First Man. I think they owe Damien Chazelle a movie because they screwed up on that last year. Perfs across the board are always going to be good. People love Claire Foy. She's hot right now. And Ryan Gosling. Well, we'll see... Yeah, this is Ryan Gosling. We'll see how they do in the Golden Globes, and that'll be a good indicator. And I think that, you know, people, Americans, they're looking... For a time when everything was good in this country and there were things we could believe in... You think people want that? Yeah. You know what I think people want is warfare and death to their enemies. And I know... I had a... There was a backup choice if I ended up being third, and it's the more cynical choice. But I'm going to be hopeful and choose First Man. I think it could get a director or best pick.
JVL00:41:39Now, I haven't seen it. What do you think of this pick, Sonny? Because I think this is... I think this is a tragic mistake.
Sonny00:41:44Really? I think it is a pick that is unlikely to win many awards. But I do think it will rack up a lot of nominations. Well, I mean, he's untested for the sci-fi stuff. This will be interesting. It's not sci-fi. It's a historical drama.
Vic00:42:01What are you talking about?
Sonny00:42:02Men have been to the moon, Vic. Don't tell me how it ends.
JVL00:42:05I have this graded out with a form of plus two, number eight overall on the big board. Huge mistake. This is drafting, Christian Leitner. With the number three pick.
Vic00:42:19It's better than Kwame Brown. Go ahead.
JVL00:42:21JVL chooses, on the basis of sex, the Ruth Bader Ginsburg biopic. It is a female director. And, oh, wait a minute. We have a giant Supreme Court nomination fight going on. That's the cynical pick. I know that pick. This is everything. Topicality, right-wing politics, anti-Trump tailwinds. We are going to be a lock. For best picture, best actress, best director, because you've got to have a female supporting actor, best supporting actor in Armie Hammer, and a political bonus multiplier of times three for a total form of plus seven.
Sonny00:42:54I like this pick, but I think you reached. I think you could have easily taken it. Well, I don't know. But I've got four. With the snake, this is the thing. You could have taken this in the second or even the third round, I think. But go ahead. What's your next pick?
JVL00:43:10I got to tell you. I'm in a little bit of a tough spot, because I have one, two, three, four, four movies all graded out here at the same form. I'm going to go with Black Panther, the number four pick. Easily. Look, best supporting actor for Michael B. Jordan, so that he can achieve. Did you say Black Klansman?
Sonny00:43:35No, he said Black Panther. Oh, Black Panther.
JVL00:43:38Vic doesn't hear color. I think it could be best director, political bonus. I vote as a Vorm plus five. I think this is a little bit of a reach. I would have been more comfortable if there were still a best popular movie category.
Sonny00:43:54But I think people are going to come back to this. Here's why I like this pick. Here's why I like this pick, because it's going to rack up a lot of nominations and possibly some wins in the minor categories. The minor. Costuming, visual effects. Even though the visual effects in this movie were terrible. Maybe sound design. I didn't think they were terrible. You thought they were terrible? Oh, the rhino fight at the end? Yes, the ending. Also, they weren't great. They just weren't terrible. They weren't DC-level terrible. Well, they weren't Justice League terrible, because nothing is Justice League terrible. But they were not as good as Man of Steel.
JVL00:44:23Yeah, I agree.
Sonny00:44:25All right, Vic, you're up.
Vic00:44:27I picked The Clark Bar. I really ... Oh, sorry. Wrong draft. Wrong draft. Wrong draft, but similar results. Okay, I'm picking Roma by Alfonso Cuarón. That's an interesting pick. It's an interesting pick. What are you doing here? Because you know why? You're telling me you can't choose because it's the plight of Mexican immigrants?
JVL00:44:50I like it, because it's a sleeper anti-Trump pick. And you've got Best Foreign Film locked down.
Sonny00:44:54Yeah.
Vic00:44:55It's got to be wrong.
Sonny00:44:56But it will also get a Best Picture nomination. For Alfonso Cuarón. The problem is it's going to be weak in the acting categories, I think. It's going to struggle there. I couldn't tell you the names of the actors, but they might want to give it. But they might want to give it, just because. To have her on stage. It's possible.
Vic00:45:10To have her on stage, and then she can deliver. And then talk about.
Sonny00:45:13Who's she? Who are we?
Vic00:45:14The one with the female leads in that movie.
Sonny00:45:18Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Vic00:45:19Yes, and then she could talk about separation of families.
Sonny00:45:21She. Yes. The actress, who we don't know. I was going to say.
Vic00:45:26Okay, fine, fine, fine. You're throwing up so many jokes for me, and I'm not taking your bait. I'm not taking your bait.
Sonny00:45:31All right. All right. Here's my pick. This is going to be, this is the big, this is the pick that wins me the draft. I'm just going to throw this out there right now. With the sixth overall pick in the second round Sonny Bunch takes If Beale Street Could Talk. Oh, that was, that was my next one. That's a very big pick. That was my next one. That's a very, very strong pick, Sonny. Here's, here's the thing. This is. Best adapted screenplay. Oh, yeah.
Vic00:45:53Barry Jenkins, track record.
Sonny00:45:54We're talking about, we're talking about the, the politics of all this. This is a movie that is from the, from the, the director of Moonlight adapting. Baldwin. A Baldwin novel. Salt. About the horrors of police brutality and the troubles that African-American families face on a day-to-day basis on, from, and it is getting huge, huge buzz on the festival circuit. Critics love it. Critics love it. I love this pick. I'm gonna, I'm gonna throw this out there. I think it's going to rack up nominations in all the major categories. And I think it could be the winner. Best picture. I think this is a very strong contender for best picture. And the fact that I was able to steal this at the back end of the second round. Suggests to me that my strategy here, just like my strategy in the candy draft, which
JVL00:46:46I won handily, everyone should remember, is, is, is very solid. I gotta say, so when I told you that I had four movies graded out still at the top when I was facing my pick, If Beale Street Could Talk was one of them. A warm of plus five, a tremendously strong pick. Sonny, very good draft class shaping up so far. Now you get the next pick as well, don't you?
Vic00:47:07I was going to pick that the next stop, but go ahead.
Sonny00:47:10This next one is very tough. It's tough for me. It's very tough. I'm, I'm torn. I have two picks that I really like here, and I'm, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna have to go with my gut. I'm gonna have to go with my gut. We watched the trailer before we came into the office.
Vic00:47:24Oh, yeah.
Sonny00:47:26Vice. Mm-hmm. I think Vice is a lock for a bunch of different acting categories. I think it could be a sleeper best picture, at the very least, best picture nominee. I don't think it'll win, but it's got a lot, it's got, and, and the screenplay is written by Adam McKay. People love that guy. It hits all the right liberal notes. People love this sort of thing. I think that this is, uh.
JVL00:47:47They win for Christian Bale.
Sonny00:47:48At the very least, I think at the very least, this is a, this is a, uh, a, a lot of nominations and the possibility of Christian Bale stealing best actor.
JVL00:47:57This is a best picture nominee in 2010. Right. I think there's fatigue. I don't, I, I don't know that anybody can be mad about Dick Cheney anymore in the world we live in. Right. Somebody does. Is my, is my concern about that.
Vic00:48:09Kyle Smith? Is it Kyle Smith? Uh, over at. Our buddy over at NR? That's fair. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. He was saying that, you know, there's so many people, young people now have no memory of the, the George W. Bush administration.
Guest00:48:20Right.
Vic00:48:21Dick Cheney? Who is he? So. Victorino. All right. This is a hard one. Caught between two.
Guest00:48:27Ugh.
Vic00:48:27One I think I like a lot. So I'm just going to go with it. Oh, God. Because I really don't want to pick the other one. Um, I'll, I'll say the front runner. I like Jason Reitman. Um, he's pretty solid. Solid. People loved up in the air. You know, that, you know, he can deliver. Uh, and people love Hugh Jackman, although I'm pretty sure he doesn't sing in this.
JVL00:48:50What are you doing?
Guest00:48:52What are you doing, Vic?
JVL00:48:53This is a nostalgic look at a time in American politics that people assumed was the absolute nadir and that now looks positively quaint. Nobody knows who Gary Hart or Donna Rice is. Nobody remembers the monkey business. This is a screen, best screenplay nomination, and that's it. All right. This is a plus one vorn.
Vic00:49:11How could you pick that in this spot? I don't even know what vorn means. Just go ahead and pick. The value of a replacement movie. Okay. As you know, I spent at least. I spent at least two minutes on this list. Go ahead.
JVL00:49:21Sonny, are you with me?
Sonny00:49:23Yeah, I'm not. I saw The Front Runner this week. I will be writing about it at some point.
JVL00:49:27Again, he has the edge. I like the trailer. I would say The Front Runner is probably, of this, of the movies, probably number three on the list of movies I want to see. Yes. And would enjoy, but that's not what we're picking.
Vic00:49:37But you have them, well, okay. It looks great.
Sonny00:49:40Okay. Yeah. I don't love this pick. I got to be honest. Just in terms of who will actually get nominations, I'm not sold on this.
JVL00:49:48Okay. So, I now have- You have the ninth and tenth pick. Amazed, amazed that two of my top one, two, three, four, five, two of my top five are still alive, and so I'm just going to take them. Okay. With the number nine pick, Widows. It's like Suicide Squad, but for the Me Too movement. I like this. I like this pick. This is the year of the woman.
Vic00:50:09That's at the bottom of my list.
JVL00:50:11It lets them mirror the blue wave midterm story, where after the election, there's going to be all this talk about how the Democrats only captured the House because they had so many women candidates, and look at Vox and Nate Cohn will show how, actually, the Democratic women candidates had a plus five advantage over normal candidates when you actually, and carry the four, and we need you. How much RAM is in that one? Plus, there's intersectionality. Steve McQueen, the director, is an ally. He is so hot right now. I see nominations for best actress, best director, best picture, best supporting actress, and a political bonus for a vorm of plus five.
Sonny00:50:49I like this pick, and I would have taken Widows next if it had still been on the board. My problem with it is I think I get the sense from the early reviews that people are dismissing it as not quite heavy enough politically to be a real contender. It is like a Michael Mann movie. This is what I keep hearing. It's basically a Michael Mann movie, but with women. And Michael Mann movies do not rack up a lot of awards nominations. Outside of Heat, almost none of his movies have gotten any real love from the Academy. So that would be my criticism here, but it's a good pick. I like it.
JVL00:51:29With the number 10 pick, this I'm only doing because you took Beale Street from me. If you hadn't taken Beale Street, I would say Beale Street is dead. This is the poor man's Beale Street. Go ahead. Green Book. It is the driving Miss Daisy, but backwards. It's got a comedy director, Peter Farrelly, but he's doing serious drama. There's Jim Crow. There's politics. There's deplorables. I see best picture, best actor, best actress, best screenplay, a political bonus, a Vorm value over replacement movie of plus five. I would rather have a Beale Street could talk, but I will take Green Book in its place as my hedge. I like this pick. Good pick. Victorino?
Vic00:52:05I'll take Aquaman. I'm just kidding. Really, I'm on a roll here. Everyone loves my pick.
JVL00:52:10Oh, let me give you a free pick from the free call-in line. Yeah, yeah.
Vic00:52:14What did he say? Chappaquiddick. Chappaquiddick. That's going to be, which is sad, which is sad because it is good. It's a good movie. It's a good movie.
JVL00:52:23I was talking to somebody the other day in our office. Oh, come on. I know.
Vic00:52:25That was good. That was very good. It's funny because it's true, but that's also why it's sad. It's very sad. Okay. I'll take Mid-90s. Oh. I don't want to see it. I don't want to see it.
JVL00:52:37Wait, that's the, like, it's like your way home. Yes. It's like boyhood, but we shot it in a normal time frame. Again, I do not want to see this movie, but I'm just imagining what people think. I would tell you this. I had this of only one of three movies out that I graded with a negative form.
Vic00:52:54It was Mid-90s. Well, I can't. Okay, go ahead.
JVL00:52:57This is so white. I'm really. This is so out of touch with the moment.
Vic00:53:01Well, no, but then he meets. Okay.
JVL00:53:05Sonny? Sonny, will you? I feel like I'm the one capping him, but you're with me. Like Vic is doing, like he's stroking out.
Vic00:53:13I want it for the record now. I should never be forced to watch a movie, because clearly I add nothing to the movie thing. Well, no, this is. You should watch movies from now on. I don't have to, every weekend I have to see a movie.
Sonny00:53:24I understand where Vic is coming from. This is a kind of classically Oscar Beatty type film. Yeah, it's trying very hard to be. And again, I don't want to see it. But I think JBL is right that it's just kind of out of step with the moment. The problem is the think pieces will come out. It's about how it's racist and how Jonah Hill is, you know, he's too white. He's very white. He's very white. Have you seen Jonah Hill? He's very, he's quite white. He's the whitest person. So I'm not in love with this pick, but I understand where your heart was in the right place.
Vic00:53:53Yes, yes, okay.
Sonny00:53:55In a cynical place, but go ahead. With the 12th pick, I'm going to go with, I got to be honest. I'm a little bit, I'm very torn here. I'm glad. I have back-to-backs here because I'm very stuck on the same two movies. With the 12th pick, I'm going to take Black Klansman.
JVL00:54:19That's a genius pick. That would have been my next pick. If I was sitting in your seat, I would have told you to pick Black Klansman. I love this pick.
Sonny00:54:26I think it's, my problem with this is that I think it is the least of the, shall we say, African-American oriented movies, and as such will- That's interesting. Suffer some in comparison, and there's going to be some vote splitting. But that being said, it's a strong contender for Best Picture nomination. I don't think it has any chance of winning. Spike Lee is a familiar face that people believe needs, who I don't think has ever actually been nominated for Best Director.
JVL00:55:00Possibly.
Sonny00:55:01I don't think he has, even when Malcolm X was winning awards and when Do the Right Thing was a new high. I don't think he's ever actually been nominated for Best Director, and this could be the year. And you get into costumes and stuff like that. I think it has a chance of getting a lot of nominations. I think it will have very few wins. So that's my problem with this pick. JBL, do you have a thought?
JVL00:55:26So Spike gets to be both a radical, but also he's an establishment radical, because he's been around for so long. Everybody would love to see Spike give a speech at this moment, right?
Sonny00:55:34Well, it is very funny, because the director of... Sorry to bother you. Boots Riley has been on the warpath attacking Spike Lee as being the house radical, as being the establishment face, saying that the police, they're not that bad. They're trying to help with the racism thing. Boots Riley, not into that. He's not into that at all.
JVL00:55:58I love that pick there, in that spot. It's a good pick, I think. It's a great pick. We'll see. We'll see. I don't know. And what do you then take with the number?
Vic00:56:04Well, I'm sorry, Victorino? No, go ahead. No, you should say something. All your picks are so awesome. Just go. Just go blow each other. Go ahead.
Guest00:56:14I wish we had that hand motion.
Vic00:56:16I'm sorry. Continue, please. You all get two picks apiece. I get one. So here's- Two in a row.
Sonny00:56:23This is a pick that is based-
JVL00:56:25End to end style. This is- Finger cuffs. Oh, so good.
Sonny00:56:29This pick is based entirely upon the feeling that I think it's going to get a lot of nominations in smaller and technical categories, and maybe even some wins. I'm going to- I'm going to go here with The Favorite by Yorgos Lathimos, which is a period piece. You know who loves period pieces? People who design sets and pick the nominations. Old people in the academy who design costumes. So there's going to be a lot of set design. People are big on Olivia Colman, too, now.
Vic00:56:55She's rising. Her star is rising.
Sonny00:56:57And there may be some outside chances for supporting actors. I don't think this is a movie that's going to win any major awards, but I do think it will rack up a lot of nominations. Get a nomination for Rachel Weisz. Maybe. Possible. Possible. So anyway, that's what I'm-
Vic00:57:09Olivia Colman, she can get nominated.
Sonny00:57:13This is my fifth pick, I think. Yeah, so I think this is our last round, right? We're doing five rounds, or are we going to do six or seven?
Vic00:57:21I think we said five.
JVL00:57:23That works for me.
Sonny00:57:24Is that your final pick? Five is good.
Vic00:57:25So my final pick is The Favorite. I see nobody has taken the animated category yet. Well, the problem is there's only one.
Sonny00:57:37There's really very few points to be picked. You have to get the winner. And even if you get the winner, because it's a minor category, you're looking at three points at the most.
Vic00:57:48Oh, this is hard. This is hard. I'm going to go with Crazy Rich Asians. That's a good pick. I think so.
Sonny00:57:56That's a good pick. Oh, my gosh.
Vic00:57:58Oh, you're just being nice to me. No, no. This is a very good pick. Just think that they're going to have to, right? I mean, come on. It had an impact. It made so much money. It made so much money. It had an impact. Based on book. At the Golden Globes. Based on book. That movie cleans up at the Golden Globes. At the Golden Globes. Based on book. I don't know about individual actors winning, but everything else might.
Sonny00:58:19You could maybe get a nomination for Awkwafina. She's wacky. Oh, right. She could get a Best Supporting Actress. She could get a Best Supporting Actress.
Vic00:58:25I forgot she was there. Okay, well, I'll comment later, but go ahead. JVL, since the clock is running.
JVL00:58:34I'm in a spot here. I'm going to pick something that I'm not... I'm not in love with, but again, strategically, Bohemian Rhapsody. That's my final pick. On the one hand, it is out of date. In 2008, this is a Best Picture shoo-in, but this isn't 2008 anymore.
Vic00:58:55Particularly because of AIDS. Right, AIDS, and kids don't even know what the AIDS is. No, that's insane.
JVL00:59:00Anyway, but Rami Malek is going to get a nomination out of this. There's one nomination there. You might get a Best Picture nomination out of it, and then there might be some... Musical stuff. Musical stuff happening as well.
Sonny00:59:10So this is more of a technical hedge. Well, you can't get a Best Original song out of this.
Vic00:59:16You can't get a Best Performance?
JVL00:59:17Not an original song. Isn't there a... There's no Best Performance. Well, whatever. The pickings are very slim. I would take Bohemian Rhapsody. And who knows? I mean, if it's legitimately a really good movie... Do you have one more?
Vic00:59:31Well, yeah.
JVL00:59:31I mean, I graded out, like, 30 movies.
Vic00:59:33No, I mean, you have one more pick. No, he doesn't.
JVL00:59:35No, that would be my last pick. I mean, just so you understand. It's a form of plus one. So I really did not. That's low-ranked.
Vic00:59:43What were your thoughts on Mary Poppins Returns?
Sonny00:59:46Well, I mean, I just included that because it was coming out. I put together, for the listeners out there, I put together a list of films that were yet to come out, as well as some earlier-in-the-year potentials. I would say the one movie that didn't get any love from us that might surprise... Not even from me, is what? That might surprise us, Vox Lux.
JVL01:00:04Now, this is ants to Starsborn's Bugs Life. This is deep impacts to Armageddon.
Vic01:00:09Because they said, with the music of Sia. I said, well, you got Lady Gaga.
JVL01:00:13This is a chance for them to snub Natalie Portman in favor of a minority actress in a movie that they can pretend they don't like.
Sonny01:00:20No. Minority actress? Lady Gaga is a minority actress.
JVL01:00:24No, no. So even for the actress category, because the movie itself is going to get overlooked, they won't feel the need to nominate Natalie Portman. Yeah, that's possible. Yeah, I had Mary Poppins graded out the single lowest of all the movies I looked at.
Vic01:00:38It's funny because I saw... Oh, you know, I said, finally, they could fix some things, like maybe in the role of Dick Van Dyke, who does appear, apparently, in this movie. They can get a real Londoner with a real Cockney accent. And then it's Manuel Lin Miranda is in the role.
JVL01:00:54Can I...
Vic01:00:55One thing I'd like to note.
JVL01:00:57I think it's possible that if Creed II is good... I was...
Sonny01:01:00Yes.
JVL01:01:00Michael B. Jordan will be nominated both for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor. It's possible. Which would be awesome. He's hot.
Sonny01:01:06If Creed II is an artistic and commercial... commercial success, I think there will be a lot of pressure for it to be included in a number of categories. We'll see. I don't know.
Vic01:01:16Well, it's not just him appearing in two movies, but also Dolph Lundgren's going to be in two movies as well. As you know, Sonny, he's in Creed II.
JVL01:01:22What is the other...
Vic01:01:23Aquaman. Dolph Lundgren's in Aquaman? Yeah, I saw the IMDb credit.
?01:01:28Wow.
JVL01:01:29I was going to say, the idea of mashing up both Creed and Rocky IV together into a single movie sounds awesome. That's wild. I know. That sounds so smart. So great.
Sonny01:01:37Okay.
JVL01:01:37Anyway, the problem is we won't have answers to this. We won't have answers to this until, like, February or March, right?
Sonny01:01:41By the time the Oscars actually happen, the show will have been canceled. Yes. So we'll probably tweet the response.
Vic01:01:47We'll tweet the results. For those that remember us, we'll let you know.
Sonny01:01:51Yeah. Anyway, I thought that worked. Was that good? Was that good? Was that good for you guys?
Vic01:01:54It was as good as the last draft for me.
JVL01:01:56I'm a little hurt nobody was interested in the value over replacement movie. Who? I just expected a little more of an attaboy for that. I mean, I did effort it pretty hard.
Sonny01:02:07Can you explain to us what the formula was?
?01:02:09Yes.
JVL01:02:10Go ahead. Potential points in major categories, potential points in minor categories, and then a political either bonus or penalty, depending on...
Sonny01:02:20When you say potential points, can you describe exactly what that means? Just like categories it could possibly win in or categories it was likely to win in? Categories it seemed likely to be nominated in.
JVL01:02:29Categories it seemed likely to be nominated in. I didn't figure wins in at all because I figured it's impossible to tell what's going to win. So I was looking solely at potential nominations.
Vic01:02:39I made my decision based on trailers I watched.
Sonny01:02:44It's true, I did.
Vic01:02:45Okay, we got to cut this show. It's over. It's over. It's over.
JVL01:02:48Okay. That's all the time we're giving to this episode. No.
Vic01:02:51What?
JVL01:02:52We have another sponsor.
Vic01:02:54No, we don't. Just Audible.
JVL01:02:57I believe we have another sponsor. Really?
Sonny01:03:00I believe ExpressVPN is also the sponsor this week.
Vic01:03:03Wow. Okay. Sorry, I'll go back and look at the... Oh, no, no. I'm sorry. I missed that. You have a script?
JVL01:03:09I do have a script. Okay, go for it. This is the week of 10-1.
Vic01:03:12Yeah, but from Fred's email, it just says...
JVL01:03:14Yeah, but it says Audible and ExpressVPN. Oh, jeez.
Vic01:03:16That's okay. That's okay. I'm happy to, because we love ExpressVPN. Why do we love it?
JVL01:03:21Because I used it this morning to conduct some financial institution data over my internet on a public wireless. So, with all the recent news about online security breaches, it's hard not to worry about where my data goes. Making an online purchase or simply accessing your email could put your private information at risk. You're being tracked online by social media sites, marketing companies, your mobile and phone or internet provider, your office. Not only can they record your browsing history, but they can often sell it to other corporations who want to profit from your information. That's why I decided to take back my privacy by using ExpressVPN. So, a VPN is a virtual private network. You can build one on your own if you want to, but it's an enormous pain in the ass. You should not do that. For an incredibly low dollar value per month, ExpressVPN just takes care of all this. It is a... Turnkey solution. It takes no fooling about eight seconds to download and install, and then running it is perfectly seamless. It's a little piece of software that sits on your computer, and whenever you hop onto a public network anywhere, you turn it on, and it protects you entirely from malicious hackers who might be on the network trying to get to you. You really, if you were sitting at Starbucks or in a library or anywhere on public internet, you should not be online conducting anything that is even mildly sensitive, because everything you're doing is susceptible to hackers. ExpressVPN is fantastic. I literally do not use the internet in public without it. You shouldn't either. You can protect your online activity today and find out how you're going to get three months free at expressvpn.com slash substandard. That's e-x-p-r-e-s-s-v-p-n dot com slash substandard, and you get three months free with a one-year package. Visit expressvpn.com. com slash substandard to learn more.
Vic01:05:12Thank you, JVL, and apologies to ExpressVPN, the co-sponsor of The Substandard. That's all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, complaints, compliments, tweet us at Victorino Matus, at Sonny Bunch, at JV Last. Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes or Google Play. Just type in substandard under podcasts, and we're there. Leave a review. Tell your friends. Until next time.
Sonny01:05:39So, just one quick outtake. Should we put out there, in order, everybody's lineups? Yeah, I guess on Twitter or on the... No, no, I'm just going to say it right now, so everyone knows exactly what... So, I, Sonny Bunch, had A Star is Born, If Beale Street Could Talk, Vice, Black Klansman, and The Favorite. Vic Mattis had First Man, Roma, The Front Runner, Mid-90s, and Crazy Rich... Asians. And JBL has On the Basis of Sex, Black Panther, Widows, Green Book, and Bohemian Rhapsody. So, those are your lineups. You know, make yourself a little chart. Maybe we'll make a chart you guys can watch along at home and see who wins.
Vic01:06:25And then watch along with your popcorn.
Sonny01:06:27In six months from now, you know, you can come back to this episode. We'll put it all together for you. You can watch it and cheer along your favorite substandard host.
Vic01:06:38Because even if the... Turns out that the country, you know, gets torn into a civil war by then. I'm sure they'll still have the Oscars.
JVL01:06:43Don't get us out yet because I want to say something. Okay. Our friends at the premium substandard expanded universe who have launched their own follow-on podcast to this one. I like to think of it as Pride and Prejudice and Zombies to Our Pride and Prejudice. They are now on the iTunes podcast. All right. Wow. And I'm hoping that they can do an episode where they critique our draft. Okay. A full show. Sure. I would listen to that. If the Tom from Finland could go— Sweet abroad. No, I'm pretty sure he's Dutch.
Sonny01:07:18Yeah. Well, I don't know. Finn, something like that. If he could make this happen, I'm sure. Sure, that would be fun.
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