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#135. The Substandard on Blessed Prime Day 2018
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Dudes Chatting — Blessed Prime Day 2018: Micro-episode devoted to Amazon Prime Day. The group first debates the correct greeting ("Merry Prime Day," "Blessed Prime Day," "Hail Bezos") before getting to purchases. Sonny bought a 32GB Kindle Fire HD 8 for around $70 — about $40 off — and delivers an unprompted infomercial for the Amazon Prime Visa (5% back on Amazon and Whole Foods, 2% at restaurants, gas, and grocery). JVL is working through his wish list (patio umbrella, swing analyzer, baseball card top-loaders) and reports he took Flash to MLB FanFest for All-Star weekend, where card culture has evolved into "relic cards" — game-used jersey swatches or bat fragments embedded in hologram-sealed cards. Flash used his own savings to buy a signed Anthony Rendon relic card as a thank-you for listener Aaron Harrison (who donated the FanFest tickets); they came home with 300 cards total, plus a Mike Trout all-star jersey. Vic's Prime Day wish: people should seek out Advise and Consent by Allen Drury (59th anniversary) on Kindle. Sonny's Prime Day wish: a nice, easy trade war to win.
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00Almost seven years ago now, I started this most incredible journey called Amazon.com. Actually, at that time, it wasn't even called Amazon.com. It was called Cadabra Inc., as in Abracadabra. That was the original name of the company. And I had phoned a lawyer on the way to Seattle from a cell phone, and he said, "Well, what do you -- to incorporate the company?" He said, "What do you want the company to be called?" And I said, "Cadabra." And he said, "Cadaver?" I knew that was a bad name.
Vic00:00:39Hello, and welcome to another micro-episode of The Substandard. I'm Victor Matus along with Sonny Bunch and Jonathan V. Last. Just a quick reminder that full episodes of The Substandard are available every Thursday at 11 a.m. It was micro-episode 13 that we first celebrated Amazon Prime Day, if you can believe that. We are today, a year later, episode 52. JVL, what does this day mean to you?
JVL00:01:04Is it Happy Prime Day? Blessed Prime Day? Merry Prime Day? We got to get this sorted out first. Prosperous Prime Day, Prime citizens.
Sonny00:01:17I don't like Prime. I don't know. Prosperous Prime? I'd say it's like Merry Christmas, Merry Prime Day. I'm all about the alliteration on this sort of thing.
JVL00:01:27Hail Bezos, Happy Prime Day. No? I don't like Happy Prime Day. Peace be upon Bezos. Merry Prime Day. P-Bub. P-B-U-B.
Sonny00:01:39Bezos grants us this Prime Day feast. I wish you a Bezos Prime Day. No, you can't use Bezos' name in vain like that. In vain? No. No, no.
JVL00:01:52This is the highest compliment. So what have you guys bought so far?
Sonny00:01:56I bought a Fire. I bought a HD Fire 8. You did? Is this your first Kindle Fire?
JVL00:02:03This is my first Kindle Fire. I've had three just for the daughter, yeah, for the backseat of the car. I remember poo-pooing this maybe last year during the Prime Day.
Sonny00:02:12When I did it. And I was like, "Oh, that's ridiculous. I would never just give my kid a car." And on the last trip down to the beach, I just gave her my phone. I was like, "Watch Sesame Street for four hours."
JVL00:02:23Go ahead and stream 30 gigs. I don't care. Just stop crying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Vic00:02:26It is amazing how much they ... Little, little kids. Yeah, yeah. Very fun and savvy.
Sonny00:02:32It will go nicely with the little dual USB power source that I now have in the back of my car. Just plug right into it.
JVL00:02:40How much did you pay for your new Kindle 8?
Sonny00:02:43Oh, I got the 32 gig one.
JVL00:02:45Yeah, you have to get 32 gigs, because you don't want to be monkeying around with an SD card and all of that.
Sonny00:02:50No. 32 gigs, and it was ... I want to say it was like $69.99. Oh, man. It was like $40 cheaper than normal. That's amazing. It was just ...
JVL00:02:59Man, that's awesome.
Sonny00:03:00I mean, I'm just saving money, and I got an extra 5% cash back, because I have the Amazon Visa. Well, tell us about that, Sonny.
Vic00:03:07Let me tell you. Look, if you ... Tell me more.
Sonny00:03:10If you're a constant shopper on Amazon ... I'm interested. Tell me more. ... .com, if you are already a member of Prime, and you don't have an Amazon Prime Visa, you're just throwing money away. Oh, my gosh. You're just throwing money away. Yeah. So, 5% cash back on all Amazon purchases. When you sign up, you get a $70 Amazon Prime gift card that they just put right in your account. Boom. Right there. $70. Right there. Right there. $73. 0% APR for the intro. No annual fee. Like I said, 5% cash back at Amazon, but also 5% at Whole Foods, if you're one of those Whole Foods people. I'm not a Whole Foods person, but if you are, good for you. Also, though, 2% cash back at restaurants, 2% cash back at grocery stores. Pharmacy-type stores, like CVS's and that sort of thing.
JVL00:03:57But now Amazon is into the pharmacy business, too.
Sonny00:04:01Yes. And also, 2% back at gas stations, I think. I mean, it's the best card that you could get. Just like everything else Amazon does, it's the best. It's the best card. So, if you're already a member of Amazon Prime, and if you're not a member of Amazon Prime, you're a savage.
Vic00:04:16And Sonny, how much money are you getting to give this plug for Amazon? Nothing.
JVL00:04:21I would shill for Lord Bezos for free, forever. JVL. I am looking at my Amazon.com wish list right now. These are things which may or may not be purchased by the time ... And also, isn't Prime Day like a miracle? It only begins at 3:00 Pacific time today, but then it stretches into tomorrow?
Sonny00:04:42There are penumbras and emanations of Prime Day. I mean, it just ... What is the origin of Prime Day? I saw 3:00 PM.
JVL00:04:48Did he light a lamp in Seattle? At the top of his ... You remember the clock that's supposed to go for 20,000 years? Right. So, he lit a lamp, but then the oil burned for ...
Sonny00:05:00For 3.16 hours. Yes. That's ... Yes. Get it? Because it's Prime. I get it. Oh, wow.
JVL00:05:08So, I have a Grand Patio Deluxe 10-foot curvy aluminum offset patio umbrella with handle and crank. Wait, that's Pi. That's Pi Day, not Prime Day. 3.14.
Sonny00:05:15Hold on. 3.14. Geez, I just botched that joke entirely. That's the worst.
JVL00:05:19Sorry, Sonny. I have a swing analyzer, hitting deck by 10 or T's, I have a ... Are any of these Prime Day eligible?
Sonny00:05:28Are there discounts? I'm sure there will be.
JVL00:05:31Lord Bezos discounts everything. In fact, some baseball card paraphernalia, which maybe we'll talk about on Thursday, but we need some premium top loader card protectors in the last house.
Sonny00:05:46Do you mean like the ones where you have to screw them down?
JVL00:05:50No. First of all, I don't like the screw down card protectors. I like the magnetic card protectors, which are like that.
Sonny00:05:56Oh. See, that is technology that has evolved after my time as a baseball card collector.
JVL00:06:02Those are what you put the really expensive cards in, but the top loaders are just sort of stiff sleeves that you slide them in, and those are the ones for the medium price, the mid-priced cards. Oh, yeah. I had a million of those. Yeah, I'm sure you had many of those, and your collection today is probably ... Estimates could be worth as much as $7 million.
Sonny00:06:19Judging by the rate of value increase, when I stopped paying attention to baseball cards in about 1998, I assume that I'm a billionaire already. I mean, I could probably actually buy Amazon itself if I wanted to. But you wouldn't, because you couldn't do it as well as Lord Bezos. It would not be ... No. Well, I mean, I would ... It would be disrespectful. It would be ... If I had to ... What am I going to do? Am I going to keep him on as the help? Come on.
JVL00:06:42Can't do that. Vic, what is your Prime Day wish?
Vic00:06:46Well, I hope people ... This is actually a shout-out. You like this? I hope people go out, and if they're going to get books, right? Prime Day, there are books on sale. I think there are still books on sale at Amazon. Or is it like MTV, which has no more videos than all TV shows?
Sonny00:07:01Wait, wait, wait. Don't you mean you're going to buy a Kindle and then download a book to the Kindle?
Vic00:07:04Yes. Something to that effect. I'd like to point out, last week was the 59th anniversary of Advise and Consent by Alan Drury, and I got a nice note from Alan's nephew, our friend, Kenneth Killian. Double k. Double k. K2. Kenneth Killian, who said to please spread the word about the book, and otherwise ... Bill Kristol plugged the book before. It's a new version, so it's fancy looking. It's a paperback, but it's a little bit on the pricey side. But I'm pretty certain if you go there today into tomorrow, you'll probably get a better deal on that book.
JVL00:07:42But when I said your Prime Day wish, I wasn't meaning a consumption wish. I meant a sort of vision for the world. So on Prime Day, we sit and we think about the world not just as it is, but as we would like it to be. As it should be. Yeah. As it should be. What is your Prime Day wish for the world, Victorino? I can't tell.
Vic00:08:02World peace? World peace? I don't know. I'm drawing a blank here.
JVL00:08:06What? World peace? I don't know. What is your Prime Day wish? I don't know where this is going. When you and Beth sit down tonight under the Prime Day tree, and in that quiet stillness of the evening, as you say things to each other, whisper sweet confidences into one another's ears, what will your Prime Day wish to your spouse be?
Sonny00:08:23I'm just going to wish for an easy trade war to win. That's all I want right now. Just a nice easy trade war that we can win and move on as a country. They're always winnable. They're all easy to win. On this day of commerce, I really like to think about the international implications of Prime Day, and really the movement of capital and goods through the world. And that's what I ... I just want this trade war to be over, to be nice and easy. Easy to win, and then we can get back to the business of buying and selling, but mostly buying.
JVL00:08:54I'm sure it's fine.
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