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#134. The Substandard on Ant-Man, Cruising, and Dishwasher Trolling
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Dudes Chatting — Ant-Man and the Wasp and Vic's Disney cruise: All three review Ant-Man and the Wasp. Sonny: totally entertaining in the moment, but barely memorable afterward; the mid-credits Infinity War snap that wipes out the Pym family is the most affecting element; Paul Rudd is charming. JVL: director Peyton Reed (who also made Bring It On) is an underrated tonal craftsman — every moment is consistent and right; de-aging of Michael Douglas is impressive but movement betrays the CGI; Michelle Pfeiffer looks fantastic. The real protagonist is the Van Dyne/Pym family triangle, not Scott Lang. JVL notes the film works because it has small emotional stakes (rescuing Janet from the quantum realm) that feel as weighty as any universe-ending threat. Ghost as villain is tonally weird — a character in constant agony in a light comedy — though JVL thinks Reed makes it work; Sonny finds her tacked-on. Both love Michael Peña and the truth-serum callback to the first film's voiceover gag. Vic's Disney cruise recap: the Dream ship, best-run and best-fed cruise he's ever taken; lost a 5K on Castaway Cay to a Japanese father and ten-year-old son (32:43 finish time); saw Solo, Infinity War, Incredibles 2, and Ant-Man in the ship's grand-ballroom-style theater. Vic was stopped in his tracks by the actress playing Princess Tiana at a meet-and-greet and stood alone in the atrium for five minutes waving at her. The AI-powered Crush from Finding Nemo interacted live with diners at the Animator's Palate restaurant; JVL speculates Disney has been quietly pioneering AI for years. Dishwasher trolling reveal: Sonny and Vic have been coordinating with Kate to troll JVL's dishwasher obsession on her behalf. JVL, meanwhile, has reached zen acceptance — blames EPA regulations for the noise level, not the machine, and has a scratch-resistant cover on the front panel he refuses to remove. Sonny's week: Beth was out of town, he made steak, rewatched Justice League (more appreciation for Ray Fisher's Cyborg, now clearly cut down by Joss Whedon), and composed a hypothetical tweet about Kavanaugh and Justice League.
Box Office: Ant-Man and the Wasp opened #1 at $76M; Fallen Kingdom $28.6M; Incredibles 2 $28.4M.
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00-Tell me about that tip. -What? -I wanna know about that tip. -Oh, baby, it's on! -It's so on right now. -Calm down, alright? I just need to know where it came from. It's gotta be airtight. -Okay. I was at a wine tasting with my cousin Ernesto, which was mainly Rez, and you know I don't love Rez, man, you know. But there was a rosé that saved the day. It was delightful. And he tells me about this girl Emily that we used to kick it with. It was actually the first pair of boobs that I ever touched. -It's the wrong details. It's the wrong-- It has nothing to do with the story. -Go. -So, uh, he tells me that she's working as a housekeeper now, right? And she's dating this dude Carlos, who's a shot caller from across the bay. And she tells him about the dude that she's cleaning for, right? That he's like this big shot CEO that is all retired now but is loaded. And so Carlos and Ernesto are on the same softball team. And they get to talking, right? And here comes the good part. Carlos says, "Yo, man, this guy's got a big-ass safe just sitting in the basement, just chilling." Of course, Ernesto comes to me 'cause he knows I got mad thieving skills. Of course, I ask him, "Did Emily tell Carlos to tell you to get to me what kind of safe it was?" And he says, "Nah, dawg, all she said is that it's, like, super legit, and whatever's in it, it's gotta be good." -What?
JVL00:01:16-Old man have safe.
Vic00:01:26-Hello, and welcome to another edition of The Substandard. Sponsored by ExpressVPN and Quip Electric Toothbrush. I'm Victor Matus along with Sonny Bunch and Jonathan V. Last. I'd like to remind you The Substandard is available on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher. Just look at a podcast and search for "substandard." You'll easily find us. Please subscribe, tell your friends, and leave a review. Gentlemen, how are we? JVL, I was hoping we could get a dishwasher update.
JVL00:01:55-What would you like to know?
Sonny00:01:57-Is it quieter? -Yeah. What does it sound like, if there's any sound at all? -Have you reached dishwasher nirvana yet? -There are some very important life lessons here. -Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Buckle in.
JVL00:02:11-I do not believe that it is as quiet as the Bosch that it replaced. -Despite the fact that it was advertised as being multiple decimals lower. -Five or six decimals? -Well, I don't know what the advertised rating on the old Bosch was, because the old Bosch predated me. Now, it's possible. It's possible this is a trick of the mind. I have spoken with appliance repairmen. -You psyched yourself out. -Appliance repairmen who say that people will often do this. Like, so, you know, an appliance goes away. It goes offline for a period of time. When it comes back on, you think to yourself it's louder, but it's only because your mind has renormed the ambient noises in your house during the time in which it has been absent. -That makes sense. -But even so, also, there are some load problems with it. -Load? -Problems are too strong. Different configurations, and so still working out the optimal configurations of what goes where. Have to buy all new water bottles for our children because the middle
Sonny00:03:10rack is not tall enough to accommodate the water bottles we currently own. -So you're putting plates on the top rack now, right? -I may have kept the bottom rack from the old Bosch.
?00:03:22-Yeah. -Why?
JVL00:03:24-I don't know. Like, just in case, I... -Will it fit in the new one? -Oh, you mean you have it as a spare? -Yeah. -Okay. -Yeah, I have a spare. -'Cause you feel like something could happen? -A spare rack, spare casters, little wheels on it, and I also kept the utensil basket, 'cause the truth is I prefer the utensil basket than the old one, too. -Wow. -But all of this... So here's what... Again, I used to be angry, but I'm not angry, really, anymore. -You seem to be very zen about this situation. -I really feel as though I dodged a bullet.
Sonny00:04:00-You feel as though you dodged a bullet by getting the louder washing machine that you can't load properly.
JVL00:04:06-By getting the more expensive, theoretically quieter machine, because had I cheaped out and bought the 42 decibel machine and thought, "God, this seems louder than my old dishwasher," I for sure would have resented and hated this thing every single day for the rest of my life. And I probably would have tried to kill it so that we could replace it again early.
Sonny00:04:32-You would have poured some grout in it or something?
JVL00:04:34-Six months from now, I would have just taken a whole bottle of caulk or stuck a candle in the top rack and turned the machine on the hot cycle. And this way, I know that I did everything I could. If what has happened here is that technology, for some reason ... I'm going to blame it on the EPA. If the EPA's standards for dishwashers have made it so that ... Now this is as quiet as it can go. And it used to be that technology could give you a quieter dishwasher, but it was killing the earth somehow or whatever, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And in the same way that the market ... You can't get televisions that were as good as the plasmas, right? Now you have to get LCD screens. You just can't buy a plasma anymore. Now it's not my fault. And so what I have done is I have absolved myself of guilt and fault when it comes to this dishwasher purchase. And so that ... I got to say, that takes away 90% of the time. That takes away 90% of the sting of having a dishwasher that isn't as good as the old one.
?00:05:31There.
Vic00:05:32Okay. Does that make sense to you? Yeah. Totally. Well, you have to. It makes total ... You must rationalize because this is the situation you're in.
JVL00:05:38If you ... I couldn't spend more money. There is no quieter. No, that's not an option. If I could pour another $800 into this thing to get quieter, believe me, I would have done it. Question.
Sonny00:05:48Yes. What if you were to jury rig some sort of sound dampening device yourself? Maybe you could put a little gate over there. A gate over it that has sound baffling on top of it, or a little ... I'm thinking almost a box, but not quite a box, because it would have to just be two sides of a box that you could slide over it while it's running, that has this foam stuff.
Vic00:06:11I'm looking at that. Yes, I do. I was thinking the exact same ... If there's room.
JVL00:06:15If there's room. Understand that we're talking at the margins here. It is still very quiet. Oh.
Sonny00:06:22It isn't like you're Kenmore. Is it like having a shower in here? Is there a shower in your kitchen? No. It's much quieter than that.
Vic00:06:28Quieter than that. Interesting. How about the look of it? Is it like this ... It's like a stainless steel thing, right? It's a chrome thing.
JVL00:06:34Yeah, stainless steel, but all of his Rogers are stainless steel now. It does not look appreciably better than my old one. It fits more stuff. Do you worry about getting scratches on the steel? You could put more dishes in. Do you worry about getting scratches on the steel? Did she put you up to this? She did, didn't she? Did she do it with both of you?
Sonny00:06:52I don't know what you're talking about.
Vic00:06:53I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. These are things that I would think about for myself if I had small kids.
Sonny00:06:57I used to keep the little plastic thing around the edge of my TV, because I was worried about it getting dinged up and nicked, and I realized it was actually covering up ... After three months, I realized it was covering up the speakers, and I was like, "Why is this TV
JVL00:07:11so effing quiet?
Sonny00:07:12Why am I ... " Oh, that's because I've got the plastic on it still.
JVL00:07:15Let me ask this. You go out and you spend, I don't know, $1,000 or more on a comic book. Okay. That comic book comes inside a plastic case.
Sonny00:07:27When did I have the stroke that led me to do this?
JVL00:07:30That comic book comes inside a plastic case. Are you going to just take it out of the plastic case and just leave it on your dresser so that you can see the cover better? Because that plastic case is theoretically making it harder to see the cover or something. No. The plastic is there to protect your investment. My dishwasher, as most stainless steel appliances does, comes with a nice scratch-resistant covering, applied to it, which some people might take off. Some people who don't have two-year-olds zooming around the house on tricycles and 10-year-olds throwing baseballs constantly. I want to protect it. I like it the way it is now. I am not going to take the little stainless steel condom off of my dishwasher. It looks fine, though. There's no wrinkles or bubbles or anything? Yeah. No one has tried to peel it off. They don't peel it off, are they? I may have instructed somebody in my family not to play with it or try to peel it off. And so there may, in fact, be some bubbles. You know what? To serve my wife right for putting you two up to this, I'm sure if I go on Amazon, there is some third-party after-market protector- Like a screen for your phone. Yeah. Like a screen protector for your phone, but for your dishwasher, that I could spend $150 on, and I'm going to prime that up as soon as possible. As soon as we're done this show.
Vic00:08:55So basically, you're like- I'm going to CTO the hell out of it. So basically, you're like the Italian grandparents with the plastic over the furniture- Plastic. In the living room that you're never supposed to set foot in, ever, and they never take it off because they never have company that they're going to take it off for. Is that what's happening?
Sonny00:09:10This is like in my new car, I put a blanket underneath my daughter's car seat, because I was like, "You're not getting any water or crumbs on this."
JVL00:09:17No, that's exactly right. You're smart. You know, they sell, for like $40, special things. Yeah. To go under the car seats. A towel will do just as well.
Sonny00:09:27A towel, exactly. I mean, no. I was like, "Well, this is-" A towel will work. A towel will work. So Graco wants $40 for that? Yeah. No, thanks. Towel's fine. I did get all-weather mats, so it will catch any crumbs at the bottom. Yes. I can just like shake it out. Oh, that's good. No, you need it.
JVL00:09:41That was thinking on that one. You guys would not take the protection off of a dishwasher front panel, would you?
Vic00:09:46Yeah. Sure.
Sonny00:09:48I've never given it any thought, but I would probably take it off once it started like peeling off on its own and bubbling and stuff. Yeah.
JVL00:09:54I probably would. I tried to like- I don't understand. Why? I don't like the look of it. The looks. The aesthetic.
Sonny00:10:01The aesthetic is- I don't love the look of it either, Sonny, but that's hardly the point, is it? You have a very Nick Cage look right now, like I'm afraid you're about to start murdering me.
Vic00:10:09Right. You were- You started off very zen, and then I don't know why something changed. Something- Something changed. How was your weekend, Sonny?
Sonny00:10:17Sonny, how was your weekend? My week's been fine. Yes. Beth was out of town this week, so I had to- The child? No, no, no. She just went out. She was gone for a day for work, so when she is gone for a day for work, what I do is I buy a steak, and I cook it, and I eat it, and then I watch movies at night.
JVL00:10:34That's- That's good.
Sonny00:10:36Is Beth not- Is she vegetarian? No, but she can't really eat red meat. There was a- She has a- Oh, the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like it- I didn't know that. Yeah, so I basically only really eat steaks when she's gone. So anyway, this evening, this most recent evening, I had a dinner. I had a very nice double feature I watched. I picked up at the Criterion 50% off sale at Barnes and Noble, Blu-ray of Rashomon. I watched that. It was very classy and elegant and Japanese. Yes, I would have liked to have mine. I don't borrow things. And then I followed that up with a screening of Justice League. Is that also- Rashomon, and then Justice League, which is on HBO on demand.
Vic00:11:18Oh, I was going to ask if that was Criterion collection.
Sonny00:11:20No, no, no. I wish. They're waiting for the Snyder Cut. To put out the Criterion disc of Justice League.
JVL00:11:24Is there going to be a director's cut of that? Or no?
Sonny00:11:28Are they going to try to- Apparently, the Wall Street Journal is currently reporting out a piece on the mythical Snyder Cut. So we'll see what actually comes of that. They're talking to fans who have been agitating for it, and we'll see if they're talking to Snyder himself. That'll really save it.
JVL00:11:42You got some angry tweets about that, didn't you? About what? Your comments about the Russia family being almost worse than Brett Kavanaugh being nominated
Sonny00:11:52to the Supreme Court. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Joss Whedon tweeted something about how if Brett Kavanaugh is nominated to the Supreme Court that Donald Trump's dictatorship will be finally realized or something. Something totally insane. If you even consider it, if you even consider it. If you even consider it, if his nomination is even considered, dictatorship is here. And I took a screenshot of that and tweeted, "There's nothing Brett Kavanaugh could do that would be worse to the country than what you did to Justice League with that ridiculous Russian family." And some people weren't thrilled with that. I don't know if you know this, but we are living in the darkest timeline. So any jokes about politics are strictly forbidden.
JVL00:12:30How can you joke when people are dying? How can-
Sonny00:12:33I feel like Laura Dern and- Everything. People are dying, Jon. But the Russian family really is fascinating because it is such... It is so clearly an invention by Joss Whedon to create a new scene and new characters that will allow him a screenwriting credit. This is a thing that, if you read books about screenwriting, the one thing they tell you in rewrites is always introduce characters and settings, and that's something you can take to the guild and get your name on the credits and therefore get more money and residuals and all that. And it is so clearly an invention designed to generate Joss Whedon getting his name on the thing that it actually makes me angry. It makes me angry every time I think about it. Mm-hmm. On very rare occasions, when I flip it on, it makes me angry when I see it.
JVL00:13:25Is there anything about Justice League which, on further consideration, is either much better or much worse than you originally thought?
Sonny00:13:34'Cause I've seen it but once. Watching it the second time, I had more appreciation for the work that Ray Fisher does as Cyborg, which is like, it's actually like, it's a nothing role. It's a totally underwritten part, and he is basically just there to be like the magic tech guy. At the end, to be like, I can separate the things and then it'll blow up. I can hack the system and close the door to keep the dinosaurs, I mean it is, yeah. That's literally, but he actually does like, pretty good work within that role, and you get the sense that there was actually a lot more, I remember from the initial trailers, there were like shots of him playing football, and like, stopping a tank with his arms and stuff, and all that was gone from the final cut. I mean, his piece got hacked down to nothing.
JVL00:14:19I'm sorry, so the black man had all of it? The black man had all of his stuff cut?
Sonny00:14:21Joss Whedon took out all of the black man's stuff, 'cause he's a racist, 'cause he couldn't sleep with him, probably, that's the end of it, you know. But anyway, that was like my one positive. Everything else about it is like, even dumber and worse, just like, it just looks so cheap and bad. I mean, it really is like, they spent $300 million on this movie, and it looks like something that they made in the mid... - 2000s.
JVL00:14:51- It is amazing how cheap the thing looked.
Sonny00:14:54- I mean, like, even the stuff that is good and is done well, like the Flash, the fight with Superman, where like, Flash, that part looks good, but it really looks like the background is done in crayons. I mean, it just, or the shot where Wonder Woman is standing on the statue, the Lady Justice statue. - That opening shot, is it horrifying or what? - It looks like something... - It looks like something they did in 30 seconds with like, it missed like three rounds of rendering in the CGI. I mean, it just, it just like, whatever, whoever signed off on this should be put in a cannon and fired into the sun.
JVL00:15:34- Well, and that's why people should lose their jobs at Warners over this. Because like, if a movie works or doesn't work, there are a hundred different creative decisions which go into it, and you know, maybe the script gets pulled in one way. But if you spend that much money, it ought to at least look like, you ought to be able to see the money on screen.
Sonny00:15:50- Right. - Right? - No, and you don't. It just looks cheap. It looks cheap and flimsy. Like, it's like, it's actually shocking. Especially compared to some of the, I mean like-- - Snyder has never done that before.
JVL00:16:00- Snyder movies never look cheap.
Sonny00:16:02- No. Well, when they look artificial, they look artificial on purpose, like 300 or, you know, even some of the stuff in Watchmen. But it's like, it is designed specifically to look that way. And this just looks, this just looks amateurish and cheap. And it's so, it's just so frustrating. It's so frustrating. I really hope they release a, like, work print of the Snyder Cut, just so I can be like, even if it's 100 times worse, even if it's, even if it, like, makes me want to put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger, I will still say it's better than the thing that got released. Because it's so bad. - Victorino.
JVL00:16:39- JVL. - Welcome home. - Aloha. - I have questions. - As they say in the Bahamas. Yes.
Vic00:16:45- I have questions for you, too.
JVL00:16:46- I'm sure you do.
Vic00:16:49- I'm sure you do. Okay, so, yes. - Why, would you, do you want, do you want to tell us first, or can we just talk? - I'm getting, I'll talk first, maybe a little bit. As you know from previous episodes, I finally did the Disney Cruise. - What ship? - The Dream, which is, the Dream has the Millennium Falcon aboard. The other ships. - Did you guys get wet while you were there on the boat? - What do you mean, what?
JVL00:17:16- Yeah, I mean, there was water everywhere, right? So did, did the Dream get wet? Did the Falcon get wet at all? - Oh my gosh.
Vic00:17:21- No. - The, hm. - Spray. I mean, there's spray coming up from the-- - You know what? Yes, a little bit. Okay. Oh, wow. You know, I'm not going there. They do have a ride called the Aquaduck, the Aquaduck, which is like a, you get on a raft and a tube and it goes throughout, you know, basic part of the ship. - Did you do it? - And it's, yeah, it was like, it was like Wet n' Wild. Remember that? Wet n' Wild in Florida. It was like Wet n' Wild on the boat. But yeah, it was an amazing cruise. And I say this. This is something who's done--
JVL00:17:49- Were all the guests allowed to go on the Wet n' Wild thing?
Vic00:17:52- There was a height requirement. - There was a height? Okay. - A height requirement. But one of the things is, we're only getting started. We haven't even gotten started. Okay. It's amazing. We've done a lot of cruises. You and I have done many cruises. - Many, many cruises together. - Many cruises. Celebrity, Holland America. - A lot of couples cruises. - A lot of couples cruises. - Almost all of them. Sharing a cabin, whatever. Save money for the company. - Times at sea. - There is no law. - Rum, sodomy, and the lash. It's all there. - Not in that order. But Disney, I would say, was the most efficiently run. It was extremely clean. And I thought the food ... Now, this is all relative to other cruise ships, obviously, but I thought the food was the best of the different cruise ships we've been on. And I think it's because it's less of a geriatric crowd, right? They don't have to worry about offending people with flavors and stuff. I mean, you have most ... 80% of your clients. Your clientele are octogenarians and higher. Okay, fine. I understand. You're going to go for the least common denominator of flavors and everything's going to be bland. This one was like all sorts of flavors and everything else. The stewards, of course, were Indonesian, and some of the bartenders were Filipino. So it's the same hierarchy. And a lot of Europeans in that mid-level, the people who care for the kids ... - Eastern Europeans? - No. You know what? No. There was like Brits, Germans, that kind of thing. Very interesting. But it is the Disney ethos, so that it is a Disney-run operation on the ship and then Disney-run operation on the island. So I mean, it was so impressive that they just get everybody in and out. And the only time that there was a mad crowd, which as always, as you know, is trying to get lunch the first day when everybody boards, animals. But the food was still good. I was stuck behind a guy at the buffet who was getting one shrimp at a time with his tongue. And he probably got a dozen shrimp. But it was just one. I could go to different stations. But I said, "Let me just see how long this takes."
Sonny00:19:52Could you run through the buffet options for those of us who have never been on a cruise like this? Oh, this is funny.
Vic00:19:59It's everything. Every meal is a buffet. Every meal at Cabana's on Deck 11 is a buffet. You can also do the formal dining room, as you know, JV. Who does that? That's for suckers. Actually, it's the opposite. On Holland America, the dining room is always better than the buffet. Yes. That's exactly right. Certainly on Holland America, that was the case. Okay. Well, the breakfast buffet, for example, had everything. You know what I liked? I started off with cured meats and smoked fish. That's how I like to start off my day. I know. Not up your alley. That's disgusting. And I'll say, "Oh, a couple of slices of this salami," or whatever, and then smoked trout, smoked mackerel, three or four different kinds of smoked salmon, gravlax, pastrami salmon, and then just to get things going.
Sonny00:20:45What is pastrami salmon?
Vic00:20:46It's just the way it's prepared and cured. It's very flavorful. That sounds disgusting. If you like lox, that's the kind of thing. I was the only one in our group that was doing this. My dad, too. And then after that, I get to the mains, omelet bar. And you know what they said? "Here's the number. We'll bring it to your table." That's what they did.
JVL00:21:03That's nice. That's a nice innovation. It is a great innovation. It's the FastPass version of omelet bar.
Vic00:21:07It's the FastPass. Yes. And I was willing to stay. I was so like, "Okay. I know how this works. I'll wait."
JVL00:21:13No, no, no, no.
Vic00:21:14Don't wait.
JVL00:21:15Because everybody hates the line at the omelet bar.
Vic00:21:17Yes. That's the worst part. And so then I got bacon and sausage, hash browns, the kind that you ... Actual hash browns, the kind that you would find in McDonald's, that kind of a hash brown patty. The deep-fried hash brown patty? Yes. They had corned beef hash.
Sonny00:21:32I had a little bit of that. We're still on breakfast. How about the fruit station?
Vic00:21:37What would the fruit station like? Oh my gosh. There's so much food. So I had ... Please list the melons. Okay.
?00:21:45Here's the other thing.
Vic00:21:45I had lunch on the island, Castaway Cay is the island, and it is Disney on the island as well. So it's a very well-run operation. I remember being so nonplussed and even disappointed when we went to the Holland America Island in the Caribbean. You're crazy. That's the best part of the cruise. The beach part. I'm talking about the food. I was talking about the food. Okay. You're not there for the food. The food I thought was so underwhelming. Oh, sorry. Forgot what I was talking to. Yes. Talking to me. It had the spiciest, crispiest chicken sandwich I've ever had. It was so much heat in that, and it was just amazing. It was the first time I'd ever done the ... Well, we'll get to the 5K in a bit. I just want to say, the only time I ever felt bad ... It was the smoothest seas ever, maybe because it's only going 22 knots an hour. We went even through a thunderstorm in the middle of the night, but there was never any ... It was not like some of the cruises we've been on, the rocking outside the cabin, I mean. But the ... The only time I felt bad ... And they had a great gym, so I would go to the gym. And then my man, Tony, who's from the Caribbean. Who's from the Philippines. He made me this protein shake, and it felt kind of ... And it made me feel kind of ill.
JVL00:22:50Question.
Vic00:22:51Yes? Jonathan?
JVL00:22:53How did RG do over the course of this cruise? It was ... The RG diet. The reduced gluttony diet. Yes. Because from the way you're talking, it sounds like it might've been a challenge. Was it just the G diet?
Vic00:23:09It was mostly the G diet, but I tried to counter it by going to ... Just to modify it at RG. But I would go to the gym. I would eat a lot, but then I'd go to the gym to do curls.
JVL00:23:16You know, after 40, you can totally do that. You can totally ... After you're 40 years old, you can offset all of your caloric intake and carbohydrate
Vic00:23:24intake by just doing weights. I think the worst thing was having the protein shake and then eating a full dinner afterwards. That was what happened. I was so sick to myself. And the protein shake was all thick and pasty. I'm not kidding. It was very ... Salty? Was there any salt in it? Okay. So it was a bit much. But the 5K ... So I did that, and that's the first time I ever did that. That's the first time I ever did a race on the island, and I did it ... My sister ... In the sand? Or paved? No. It's paved, and it takes you to parts of the island that the rest of the cruisers don't go to, including the old runway that was used for drug smuggling in the '80s. Nice. So that was interesting. So far, when you're out there, and it's like 8:30 or 9:00 in the morning, there's no wind. And in the Bahamas in July, it was hot, the humidity ... I mean, it was a lot. But I powered through it, and I did 32:43 for the 5K. I was with my brother a lot at the start, but then he wanted to walk part of it, so I just kept on going. In the end, what got me going was a father and son in front of me, and they were Japanese. And the kid was probably 10 years old, and he was like, "I can't do this anymore," he was basically saying in Japanese. And the father berated him, basically something about, "You have dishonored ... You'll dishonor your family," I think is what he said. And so he says, "I'm not going to carry you. I'm not going to help you. We're not going to walk. We're going to keep on ..." And so they just went on. And he would say to him, from time to time, he would make these noises to the kid, like, "Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho," like that's their version of one, two, three, four, or whatever it was. And I was complaining that it felt like the Bataan Death March. Yeah, would you say that they were on a death march? For me, as a Filipino-American, yes. And then I said, "You know what? In the end, once we get to that finish," because you could see the finish line, and they cheer you on, and it's great. I thought, "Okay, then I'm going to pass them." I never passed them. You got beat by the 10-year-old? And the father, yes. I was subjugated, if you will. Any other questions? Yes, yes, yes, questions. Okay, I'm done. Careful. I think that's my full explanation of the trip. How did that make you feel? Subservient. Lesser. Lesser. But I don't follow any sort of Bushido code, as you know. Not that that's what they were following, I'm just running, but it was hardcore. It was hardcore.
JVL00:25:43Question. Yes. You chose not to run with your sister. Ah, we made a...
Vic00:25:47Wasn't that the point? Yes, it was confusion. There were two 5Ks both times on the island, and she chose Saturday, and I had already chosen Thursday, so we divvied it up. And so I went with my brother-in-law, and my wife ran it with my sister. And my wife did well. She did like 38 minutes. For somebody who hasn't run in, she says, five or six months. But she still has the running gene in her. She's done 10-milers before. Question. Yeah. It's a weird thing. By the way, you could tell, I mean, there are people who went on this fun run, and they were totally hardcore. Yeah. They weighed 90 pounds. Yes, JVL. We still haven't talked about the lunch buffet. It was, I don't remember. You know what? The lunch I had, again, I had it on the island. And that was fantastic barbecue ribs, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, and I had all of it after my 5K.
Sonny00:26:36I don't quite understand. So you're on the ship. Mm-hmm. And like your rooms and stuff are in the ship.
JVL00:26:40There's 32 minutes of exercise. You did. Running your 5K is what sent your body into starvation mode, where you needed to replenish it.
Vic00:26:50Yes, because I finished a run at 9:15, and lunch was until 11:30. And the only thing that I could subsist on between that time was pina coladas.
?00:26:58Question.
JVL00:26:59Yes.
Vic00:27:00JVL.
JVL00:27:01Sonny, wait your turn. You're in the queue. Question.
Vic00:27:04Yes. How were some of the clubs? Oh, for goodness sakes. I made jokes in the last couple episodes about the teen clubs. And over text, to me. Yeah, you know. Wait, let me see if I can pull up that text. Oh, please. Vibe, edge. You know what the weird thing is? I never found them. I looked. Not that I looked. I mean, they just weren't. They weren't around. I am investigating. I think I was personally thwarted. I went to the adult sections, by the way, which is like, oh, and no one under 18. The problem is, they're all about 80 hanging out in the adult section. You don't want to go there. So, that's it.
JVL00:27:43That's not that fun. So, none of the hideouts.
Vic00:27:45The hideouts and the island on the ship, they were hiding from me. That's what was happening over there. Sonny, question.
Sonny00:27:52Wait. So, I don't quite understand how the actual logistics of this, so your rooms are on the boat. Yeah. And every day, you would go from the boat to the island?
Vic00:28:00Yeah, every day, you would wake up. The boat would leave at night. You're in a different island. And in the next morning. You're in a different island. You're in a different island.
JVL00:28:08So, people would get off the ship to go. It's like a floating hotel.
Vic00:28:10With the exception of NASA. I've been to NASA before. Yeah. Nobody left for NASA. I've been there four times or three times.
JVL00:28:15Unless you're going to buy Tanzanite. Oh.
Vic00:28:17Effie Jeuler.
JVL00:28:18Diamonds International. You know, Tanzanite, they are not making any more of that stuff.
Vic00:28:22JV and I could actually give a whole talk in the theater. I don't even know what Tanzanite is.
JVL00:28:27In the auditorium.
Sonny00:28:28You don't.
JVL00:28:29Oh, my God. What is Tanzanite? So, this is a thing which people on cruises gets off. And this is like the gem version of Swampland in Florida. And so, when you are on cruises. One of the things that they do is they try to sell things to everybody. I actually got a ... Our buddy who knows this industry very well. Yes. Gave me a whole thing about actually the way the economics of cruises works. It's fascinating. It's about revenue per hour on boat. Yes. That's right. And so, the cruises are designed to extract money from you. Mm-hmm. So, you got to hit a certain mark for every hour you're on the boat.
Vic00:29:10Which is, by the way. Never overnight at a destination.
JVL00:29:13So, they've actually, industry-wide over the last 10 years, they've begun contracting the time they spend at destinations to get people on ... To keep people on the boat more. Otherwise, you're not spending.
Sonny00:29:25Spending. Right. But I thought that once you ... I thought the whole point of being on the boat was that it was inclusive. That you've already got the food. The food. Food is inclusive. Drinks are not inclusive. Right. But everything else. I mean, iced tea and soda is free.
JVL00:29:36When you go to the shopping galleries. Oh, yeah. And so, Tans and I, they have these seminars where people come. It's just teaching people about gemology. Just information. It's just information.
Sonny00:29:47Is this the Scientology auditing of the gem business?
JVL00:29:51Yes. Yes. And the thing is always, you know, tanzanite is the gem of the future because ... I mean, look, people say diamonds are a safe place to put your money. But the truth is, the diamond market is topped out. All right. And so, what most people who are serious investors in gems ... Right. I'm so over diamonds. I'm so over diamonds. Right. They're looking for the value play, and the value play is tanzanite. And it's important to look into this because within the tanzanite world, you have to understand, nature isn't making any more of it. We have a finite supply of tanzanite, and this is really the ground floor. This is the time to get in on the tanzanite market. And we had ... Vic and I were privy once to a conversation between two people that we know lightly who came away ... Came away from this, having spent a lot. It's no names, no names, but there are two spouses of people ... Stop. You've already said too much. It was a very sensitive subject. And we were listening to them talk, and it was as if they had just bought the Brooklyn Bridge. Yeah. And we're saying, "I can't believe we were able to buy this bridge right here for only like $5,000. Can you believe ... We've just struck it rich." It's amazing. And Vic and I looked at each other.
Vic00:31:11God. This is terrible. Don't say anything. And of course, we just heard ... Anyway. Yes. Tanzania. That's a very sensitive subject in this office.
JVL00:31:21Someday, you gotta go on a cruise just to see what the cruise world is like. It is worth it to do it once.
Vic00:31:27And people go. And people go to the talk. The cruise director gives the spiel, and people, "Oh, I gotta find out what this is all about and duty free."
Sonny00:31:36When I was very young, maybe five or six, something like that, we took a cruise from England to Spain. Or Sweden.
JVL00:31:42Well, that's a good cruise.
Sonny00:31:44Which I don't really remember. The only thing I remember about it was seeing The Neverending Story in one of the theaters. That's literally the only thing I can remember from this whole cruise. Because I was very young. I was like, "Yeah." Again, five or six. Something like that. Maybe seven. Six. But no, I find the cruise business fascinating, and also, I have no desire ever to go on a boat for multiple days at a time. You have to go once to see it.
JVL00:32:08It's astonishing. I mean, just as a ... Yeah. It's like going to a zoo for humans.
Vic00:32:13It's really interesting. And just two other observations about cruises from a colleague of ours, Sonny, at the Free Beacon, who had previously worked on a cruise ship after college. And he said two interesting observations. One is the two words you're never supposed to say to a customer, a passenger, is, "You're welcome." You're supposed to say, "My pleasure." Oh, that's the Chick-fil-A thing. Right. Yeah. Really? They all say, "My pleasure," too? No. I don't go to enough Chick-fil-A's, I guess.
JVL00:32:43They say. It is like the pickle on the sandwich.
Vic00:32:47The other brand differentiator at Chick-fil-A is, "My pleasure." And the other thing is, you have to report loose stool, even if it's your bunkmate. You are obligated to rat them out, even if they're going to say, "Oh, by the way, I'll be fine. I'll be over this in a day." You have to. It is incumbent on you to rat out your bunkmate, because if they find out that you found out, both of you will be off the ship. Wow. Yeah.
JVL00:33:10Interesting. So, you know ... Rotavirus. Yeah, exactly. Got to keep the rotavirus.
Vic00:33:15Norovirus. Norovirus, right. Yeah, norovirus. I mean, they were very good about that at Disney. They're always handing everybody the sanitizer. Hand sanitizer everywhere.
JVL00:33:21Everywhere you go. The Disney people do not have the, like, "Hey, you don't want to overkill the bugs because of superbugs." So, on the cruises, I mean, you might as well ... They're just bathing and ... Chlorine sprays of all railings every night.
Vic00:33:35Yeah. So, they have two theaters on the ship, and one of them will do a live show, which my daughter absolutely loved. And the other one will play ... A Disney movie, which is funny because, you know, in 2018, it's not going to be like, "Oh, tonight's going to be Lady and the Tramp." No, it's like everything. And so, we saw Solo, Infinity War, and I saw Ant-Man and the Wasp. Speaking of which, over the weekend, Ant-Man and the Wasp took the top spot at the box office with $76 million, followed by Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom at $28.6 million. And in third place, Incredibles 2, with $28.4 million. Box office thoughts, Sonny.
Sonny00:34:13I have no specific box office thoughts.
Vic00:34:16Jurassic is doing, I guess it's doing over, it's already, they've made $300,000. Oh, yeah.
Sonny00:34:21They're fine. It's doing fine. Yeah, yeah. I've been keeping an eye on Black Panther because I'm curious to see when Disney pulls the, "We're going to put this in a double feature in a drive-in," because it's at $699 million. $699 million and, like, $800,080 or something. Right. But it's all the way down in terms of number of theaters. Yeah, but it's only doing, like, $30,000 a weekend now.
JVL00:34:46Because it's out on video. Right, right, right.
Sonny00:34:48It's been out on, they're keeping it in theaters even after it's been on video for like a month. For a month, because they're trying to get it to that $700 million. But that's the only thing I'm really kind of looking at right now. I was actually kind of surprised because Ant-Man, the Thursday night numbers suggested it was going to be, going to do like $90 to $95 million in its first weekend. And it came in at the very low end of projections, at $75 million, which suggests that... Word of mouth on it was not great over the weekend, or it was just very front-loaded, I don't know. Or maybe we might have a saturation point where three Marvel movies in five months is a bit much for regular audiences.
Vic00:35:23Well, it's crazy on the ship because it's back and forth, and then they run it round the clock. Because if you're at a five o'clock dinner seating, then you get to watch the eight o'clock show and then vice versa, and then it's all throughout the day. And it was like Solo, Infinity War, Incredibles 2, don't forget that. And my father went to see all of, wanted to see all of them. And then I remember at some point, you know, my son turned to me and he's like, "I can't believe we're watching, you know, Solo on a ship." I said, "I can't believe I'm watching Solo twice."
JVL00:35:48Question. Yeah. Terrible. Will Ant-Man and the Wasp outgross Solo?
?00:35:53Oh, God, what are you doing?
Vic00:35:56That's a lovely sound. Oh, my goodness. It's horrible. Wow. I can't wait to listen to that.
Sonny00:36:02I think it probably will, but it will be close because, well, domestically, we're talking about domestically. Domestic, right? Yes. Because worldwide, Ant-Man and the Wasp will destroy Solo. I mean, it'll-- I am talking about domestically. Domestically, it'll probably be pretty close. I mean, I don't think this is gonna do much more than 225.
JVL00:36:25Will Kevin Feige do the double feature with it two months from now, if it's close, just to shiv Kathleen Kennedy?
Sonny00:36:34I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
JVL00:36:37Bob, do you think-- Bob, we really think we need to put Ant-Man and the Wasp over The Hump. Can you just release a few more theaters for me so we can get it in there and--
Sonny00:36:46But it'll be pretty close. But I mean, it's gonna make $700 million worldwide. It'll be fine. Anyway--
Guest00:36:54Do you wanna give a-- I was thinking about--
Sonny00:36:56Something. If I wanna review this, because I already can't really remember anything that happened in the movie. I saw it two weeks ago. I can barely-- And this is a problem from the first one. The first one is totally-- I remember nothing from the first one at all. Literally, I was sitting in the theater. Because the second one started, and I was like, wait, what happened in that-- Paul Rudd was a thief, and he was stealing a suit, and Michael Peña's very funny in it. And-- I already forget the villain. But who was the villain? The villain was the guy from House of Cards, the corrupt congressman, Corey Stoll. Oh, right. Yeah, that's right. That's right. But it's totally unmemorable. And this one is kind of the same way. And I'm actually pretty okay with that. So the movie is about-- They being Hank Pym and his daughter, who-- Hope. Hope. Hope Van Dyne. Hope. Pym. No, Hope Van Dyne. Not Hope Pym. I don't know why her name is different. Because-- She has her mom's name? She has her mom's name. Okay. They need to find the mom, Janet Van Dyne, who has been shrunk down into the quantum-verse? The Wano realm. The quantum realm. And in order to get there, they need magic things that they have to buy from Sonny Burch. My favorite character in the Marvel universe, Sonny Burch.
Vic00:38:15One letter off.
JVL00:38:16Played by Walton Goggins. Walton Goggins has done no favors with this script. Why would you have Walton Goggins on your project and not give him something interesting to do? It's so frustrating.
Sonny00:38:28It's so frustrating. It kindly was frustrating, because that guy's so good. He is good. And he's been really wasted in both Tomb Raider and now this year. It just is. It's too bad. Anyway, they have to get a magical piece of technology from Sonny Burch. And that magical piece of technology is stolen by Ghost, who is a quantum infused phasing. She used to be a killer. She's Kitty Pryde, but out of control. For S.H.I.E.L.D. Yes. Right. Kitty Pryde with pain. And she's in pain. And she wants to... And anyway, I... It's fine. It's fine. It's totally... I was totally entertained in the moment. I laughed a couple times. It's very funny. I love Paul Rudd, who is this kind of ageless wonder. I... There are some interesting little things in there with the actual physics of fighting, with the shrinking and the expanding. I actually kind of enjoyed all that. It is less generic than your average Marvel movie, in that sense. I thought it was pretty well done. Kids love it. But I... Honestly, I like... The only thing I can really remember from the movie is the mid-credits scene, where... Did you watch the mid-credits scene? Oh, you mean the stinger? The stinger. Oh, yeah. I knew that was gonna happen. Not the one at the end with the ant. No, no.
Vic00:39:44But the... I knew... I remember I mentioned this.
Sonny00:39:47Yeah. Wild. But that's basically all I can remember.
Vic00:39:50Okay. What about the ants? They controlled all these ants.
Sonny00:39:53I don't... This is... Like a deus ex machina. Oh, thank God for the ants. This is a thing from the first movie that they explained, and I don't really remember. It's like, where is it getting all these ants from?
Vic00:39:59Mind control. Mind control. Why don't you just smush the ants? They seem to be... They were everywhere, and they were like... You know, I mean, when did you... They step on the ants, and they're flying ants, and some of the ants were, like, affecting the computer and disrupting the network, but speaking about disrupting networks, JVL... That's a nice transition.
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Sonny00:42:47Thank you, JVL. What was it like watching Ant-Man and the Wasp on the ship? I'm curious to know what the theaters are like.
Vic00:42:55It was such a smooth sail that only ... and other people describe this, obviously. David Foster Wallace described this as well, where you're ... if you're sitting very still, you'll feel that slight vibration, you know? You can always feel that slight vibration. But for large parts, you forget you're on a ship watching this. It's a big theater. I can't tell you how many people it fits, but it's huge.
JVL00:43:17Was the screen properly masked?
Vic00:43:19Yeah, no, it was perfect. And it's designed as ... He doesn't even know what masking is. It's the thing on the side with the curtains, the things on the curtains. There was no ... the margins were right. Okay. The top and the bottom margins. Not the left and the right. I thought it was the left and the right. You know how the curtains go further wide after the trailers? Okay. I was like, "Don't worry.
Sonny00:43:41They had all the HDMIs plugged in."
Vic00:43:42Those thingies. I'm positive they had them plugged in.
Sonny00:43:45I saw a guy in the back. He was working the red, blue, and yellow cables.
Vic00:43:48No, it was ... And I'm like, "How could they ... " Anyway, how did they get through? They have reels? How do they bring Ant-Man and the Wasp to the ship now? It's all digital. It's all digital now. It's crazy. And in fact, the second time they showed it was in 3D. So they had that option. But the theater itself, the Buena Vista Theater. And the Disney Theater. They're like old style theaters, like in the '30s and '40s. So it was a very grand ballroom fashion. And it's with all the sort of brass fixtures. And the only weird thing, of course, is being ... Have to reaccustom yourself to the old style seats. Which is, you're sitting like this.
Guest00:44:21You know?
Vic00:44:22I mean, sorry. I'm sitting like this. I mean, you can't recline. And it's not stadium seating, as Sonny and I were discussing on the ride up here. So potentially, a large person can block one of the kids. And then you're done for. You know?
JVL00:44:35Because really ... You sat in the last row, I hope.
Vic00:44:37Just out of deference to the other patrons. I said, "You know, just look." I said, "Good luck, everybody." Mommy, I can't see past that man's enormous head. Oh, for me? Yes. Sorry. I try not to move. I try not to. Because then I would block the entire screen the entire time. That kid's just projected on your head. Right? Okay. So that was a weird experience. One woman got very comfortable on the ship. And so we were ... She didn't put gas on you? No. No. Nothing like Jurassic Fart. This was how they have this little access way between the sections of the theater. And so in front of us was just a rail, and she decided to rest her very large legs and ankles on the rail. Well, that's why I do that. Don't you do that? Yeah.
JVL00:45:22Don't everybody do that?
Sonny00:45:23That's why you want those seats. Yeah. I always ... Yes.
Vic00:45:26In the stadium seating, I always try and sit in that front row, so I can prop my legs up on the thing.
JVL00:45:28Would you do it bare feet?
Vic00:45:29Ooh. And by the way ... You're already on a cruise ship. I mean ... Well, that's the thing. We're on a cruise ship mentality, and they were, frankly, to be perfectly honest, they were full. Gross feet. They were gross feet. Care.
Sonny00:45:41The ankle, the legs were the size of tree trunks. She had hocks. That's what you're saying.
JVL00:45:44Real hocks. Hocks. Hocks.
Vic00:45:47I'm not comfortable with you body shaming people. No, I know. That's true. I shouldn't. Shame on me. Take a look at us, Vic. I know. Really. But she is ... Look around this room. I'm not doing it. That's why I'm not putting my feet up. But she had her feet up, and she had a glass of wine in one hand, and she had a box of Sour Patch Kids.
JVL00:46:01Ooh. Classic. Could you do that? Could you bring your own ... You could.
Vic00:46:06Could you get your snacks?
JVL00:46:07You could bring drinks in there. Was there popcorn?
Vic00:46:09Did they have popcorn? They do have popcorn, but you had to ... That's extra.
?00:46:11Ooh.
JVL00:46:12How much were they charging for popcorn?
Vic00:46:13They treated it ... I don't remember, because we didn't get it, but they have ... It's like a concession stand. Michael's like, "Dad, Pop-Pop is a doctor. Why can't I have popcorn?" In my excuses, we just had the buffet. We just had dinner. I mean, if you have dinner, go back to the buffet and get some more bread if you want. We're in the island. They have bags of potato chips, the bags and lays, bags and lays, and I see my mother putting in her bag. I'm like, "What are you hoarding for? There's no need to hoard. We're on a cruise ship."
Sonny00:46:41So there were two sittings for dinner? Yeah. Is that right?
Vic00:46:45At the buffet? Yeah.
JVL00:46:47Oh, no. It's actually a dinner. It's a full dinner menu. Can you go to both? No.
Vic00:46:52You could do buffet and then go to a seating for dinner. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Also, you could order as many of the entrees as you want. If you said, "This prime rib or Chateaubriand is not enough. I want more."
JVL00:46:58I'll hand you the ... A lot of rookies think like, "Oh, I can only ..." You can also order like three entrees. Oh, it's the same for all of them.
Sonny00:47:04So the sit-down dinner is essentially a buffet, but a buffet where the server's bringing it to you. It is. And our buffet-
JVL00:47:10So you see this all the time on cruise ships. People will be like, "I would like the Chateaubriand and the lobster, and then also the sea bass, please."
Sonny00:47:17And they're like-
JVL00:47:18And they're like, "Yes, sir. Here you go."
Vic00:47:20I had a prime rib with a side of scallops and shrimp, and it was kingly. It was kingly. That does sound pretty good. You'd love it. Yeah. And your daughter would love it. The Disney princesses. Okay. So I have a question about Ant-Man. Question. Yes. They're banging. Everyone's after the office. We've got to grab that office space, the office space. And then the ghost takes it, and she breaks a window. Wouldn't things inside the office be all messed up?
Sonny00:47:45I think they have inertial dampeners, like the Enterprise. Oh, that's good.
Vic00:47:52Okay. I could sleep now. Thank you. Okay. And the other thing that Sonny and I were talking about was ... I'm curious what you thought, JV. Were you weirded out at all by the de-aging? They've done this with Robert Downey Jr. Now they did it with Michael Douglas in the beginning of Ant-Man, and he looks like Michael Douglas from Fatal Attraction, Michael Douglas.
JVL00:48:12It's very well done. The one thing they don't fix is the way he moves. Young Michael Douglas still moves like old man. I mean, just literally the way he turns, he still looks like old man Michael Douglas. Yeah. Let me ask. How many of us saw it, Ant-Man and the Wasp? I saw it. Hey. JBL, do you have thoughts? Sonny, you saw it. I saw it. Victorino, you saw it. I saw it. Did anyone else see it?
Vic00:48:39No. No. Oh, come on. It's been a long time. I don't know. I don't know.
JVL00:48:45I don't think he's in retirement. I haven't even seen him.
Vic00:48:47Has he been dead in his apartment for a week?
JVL00:48:48Steve Ditko. I was going to say Mike Ditko. He's no Steve Ditko. Oh, I should have said his name. Okay. No. He's fine. Okay, good. He's already dead. You can't kill Steve Ditko.
Vic00:48:59But the ... No, I said Mike Ditko. Okay. But the aging process thing, so yeah, you're right about that. The movement's a little ... But it's weird, right, Sonny? I mean, because you're thinking about it.
JVL00:49:11I was more creeped out by the old ... I was more creeped out by old Michelle Pfeiffer than I was by young Michael Douglas. By young Michelle. Yeah. Or young Michelle Pfeiffer. Because even old Michelle Pfeiffer still looks uncannily like young Michelle Pfeiffer. Yes.
Vic00:49:26I think probably didn't have to do anything. Didn't have to do anything for her. She looked fantastic. Ooh.
JVL00:49:30We'll get it very well. She looked fantastic. Yes.
Vic00:49:33Yes. Yes.
JVL00:49:35Sonny. And she's great. Actually, she's better than she's been, qua actress, in a while.
Sonny00:49:40Well, she was in Mother. She was pretty good in that. Oh, right. In a weird, small role. The de-aging thing is weird to me, because it does look really good. If I had no idea who Michael Douglas was, I would just be like, "Oh, here's another actor." That's ... But because I do know who Michael Douglas is ... Mm-hmm. It just feels ... There's a weird dissonance in my head that I'm like, "I know that I'm looking at a fake thing," and it weirds me out. And you're right. I think I hadn't picked up on that, but you're right. The movements are just like ... He just kind of ... He's stiff. Yeah. The way an old person is.
Vic00:50:13And he looks a little bit weighty, just a little bit, so they just sort of smooth it
Sonny00:50:17out. JVL, did you have any thoughts about Ant-Man and the Wasp? I had some, yeah.
JVL00:50:24I liked it, and I think there are a bunch of ... There are a bunch of lessons in it for the whole superhero movie verse. I think people tend to assign some sort of absolute value to what comic books need to be is. And so, if you're a DC person, well, it needs to be dark, or if you're a Marvel person, well, it needs to be light. The truth is, they just need to be good. The comic book genre really has ... It is as malleable as science fiction is, as a genre. So you can do a movie like this, which is a very light movie, which could not be tonally more different from Logan, but they're both Marvel movies. You can do Logan, and you can do Ant-Man and the Wasp, and if they are good movies, then they are good movies, and they will succeed. This does something which to me is interesting in that the protagonist isn't really the protagonist, or the protagonist isn't the lead character. So Scott Lang, who is Ant-Man, isn't really the main character in this. It's actually Michael Douglas' Henry Pym, or-
Sonny00:51:31I would say it's actually Evangeline Lilly, the- Or it's Hope.
JVL00:51:34Right. And so the real story in this is the story of the Van Dyne/Pym family. It's that triangle. And Scott Lang is really just sort of along for the ride here, and I like that. I think they actually break a lot of movie conventions in the way the story is set up, and I think it all works. It all works because Peyton Reed is an underrated director, and this should have been clear to anybody who saw Bring It On, which is a really good movie which nails the tone stuff. It is tonally consistent and tonally right at every moment in the same way that the first Ant-Man is. I mean, the first Ant-Man succeeds on tone alone, and I think this does the same. There is no- It has this weird- There are no false notes at any moment where you feel you are being brought along with the feeling of the movie from every moment. Every moment. Every moment.
Sonny00:52:28My one complaint or critique about it would be that Ghost feels like a very weird villain to have in this movie. She's just weirdly dark for the movie. She's a character who exists in agony all the time, and is a paid killer, and the whole thing felt-
JVL00:52:49Well, she's non-paid. I mean, she's S.H.I.E.L.D. She was used by S.H.I.E.L.D. Right. She is a Weapon X seed.
Sonny00:52:54But that feels so tacked on. And tossed off.
JVL00:52:57See, and yet I felt it worked. I felt like Peyton Reed worked that character in so that it ... Even a character which really, you're right, doesn't feel like it's part of that natural world of the San Francisco Ant-Man superhero thing, works in it. Because I went and saw this with Flash, and Flash said to me, "So that movie was weird. There weren't actually any villains in it." And I said, "Right. I mean, the villain is the circumstance." Well, Sonny Burch. Sonny Burch is the villain.
Vic00:53:25Right. But there's no arch villain.
JVL00:53:27Right. He said, "No, no. The villain is circumstance." Circumstance has placed these people in a situation where tensions and conflicts happen, and there's a really artful storytelling ... They had to make choices. And he was like, "Okay, I'm bored now. Let's talk about baseball." Let's watch Justice League again. No. He hated Justice League. Oh, good.
Sonny00:53:45Oh, I thought he loved it. No. He hated it. What did you watch that he loved and you hated? Oh, God. Maybe it was Justice League. I think it was Justice League.
JVL00:53:52There was something he hated and didn't ... Oh, it was Last Jedi. He came out of Last Jedi. Yes, he liked Justice League and hated Last Jedi.
Vic00:54:00Can either of you explain the healing power thing that's going on here?
Sonny00:54:04The quantum healing?
Vic00:54:06Well, she evolved.
Sonny00:54:07It's like evolution, I see, and adapted. She spent so much time in the quantum verse that she's now quantum.
Vic00:54:13And she never had to reapply makeup because she had all the ...
Sonny00:54:16She spent so much time in the microverse with the Micronauts that ... Micronauts.
JVL00:54:20Very good. So, it was ... Okay. I thought it was fine. The one moment I didn't like ... Mm-hmm. ... in it was the recycling of the Michael Peña shtick ... Oh, I didn't mind that. ... from the first movie, which is the best part of the first movie, is the Michael Peña voiceover. You knew they had to do it, though. You knew they had to do it. I actually ... No, but I was pleasantly surprised that we'd gone all the way through the movie with them not going back to lean on that, because I thought this is really ... They don't need to lean on it. They've subverted expectations by not going back there and still giving you Michael Peña.
Sonny00:54:49But I also ... I also think it worked, though, because they did it in the context of The Truth Serum. Yeah. Yes. That's right. I loved all of that stuff. I loved all the stuff with Sonny Burch and his minions, and the weird guy from The Dark Knight, who is comic relief in this.
JVL00:55:04Yes. Baba Yaga. The Baba Yaga, which is a John Wick ...
Sonny00:55:07Which I thought they were going to do a John Wick thing. I mean, I kept ... I forgot about that. I was like, "Wait.
Vic00:55:12They're totally ripping this off from John Wick. Are they going to make some John Wick jokes? Is John Wick going to show up?" The Truth Serum administers ... The guy who administers ... He's very funny, too, by being ...
JVL00:55:21It's not Truth Serum. It's very funny. It was great. Michael Peña ... Can I just take a moment? Yes. The guy is so talented. He's great in World Trade Center. He is great in everything he touches, and I wish Hollywood would give us more Michael Peña. I could have Michael Peña in every single movie I watch. I love that guy so much.
Sonny00:55:38He has this very funny bit part in Fury. He's one of the guys on the tank team, remember? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They do this scene where they go to the house, and he does a pimp role, and I was like, "There's no way a guy in 1940s ... Would be like that. ... would be doing this." But it still worked, even though it was totally anachronistic, because he's just so good.
JVL00:56:00Everything he does works. Yeah. That guy is such a ... I actually think, in a weird way, it is entirely possible that 15 or 20 years from now, he could be a real deal movie star, carrying his own movies. He will have had, then, 20 years of character work, and he could just morph from being great character actor to real leading man. I love him.
Vic00:56:24Do you have any other thoughts? No. I got nothing. You know what I liked? I liked Paul Rudd. I think he's perfect in that role of Ant-Man, and I just think he's really good. He's like the master of the wisecrack, and master of the quip.
JVL00:56:39Aww. Aww. You forgot.
Vic00:56:42Yes. Aww. Aww.
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Vic00:58:20Great work, JVL. Any other thoughts? Corrections? Additions?
Sonny00:58:25Subtractions? No, I got nothing. JVL. I still want to know about that lunch buffet, but maybe we'll do that for 20 minutes next episode.
Vic00:58:32Did we have the Thanos- I was kind of a mish-mash. The one lunch I did on the ship was at Nassau, because I didn't go to Nassau. Oh, I'm sorry. We're done with Ant-Man and the Wasp. We'll go back to the buffet. Never mind. I don't have any Ant-Man thoughts.
JVL00:58:46You were saying something about Thanos. I had pizza. All right. All right. Thanos. What was his name?
Vic00:58:52I had pizza.
JVL00:58:53Why is cruise ship pizza always so terrible? Yeah, it's- They cannot do- You know what it was? Is it something about the humidity on the sea?
Vic00:59:01That it makes it impossible to do pizza properly? The way that you can't have an actual pizza oven. Kate described it as, I said, "How was the pizza?" She said, "Yeah, it's fine. It's like school pizza." It is. It's like school pizza. But why is it? They can do everything else while on a cruise ship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. And they do sandwiches, and they do burgers. I mean, it's anything you want. It's really- I had beef Szechuan- Oh my God. Also at the same-
Sonny00:59:23I was joking. We don't need any more of that. It was not spicy enough. JPL, what did you think? What were you going to say something about Thanos?
JVL00:59:30I was just going to ask if we ... First of all, I love the credit sequence at the end, which is I believe they also did- The miniatures. The miniatures. I love the miniatures. So lovingly done, and just fantastic.
Vic00:59:42And they actually look like the faces. It's just great. It's amazing.
JVL00:59:46Everything about it was great. But do we have thoughts about the quick integration to the Thanos universe? Oh.
Sonny00:59:54What do you mean?
JVL00:59:55No. I mean, so what they did was they placed this within the timeline context of Avengers Infinity War. Do we like that?
Sonny01:00:03Do we not like that? I thought it was well done. I thought they had to do it. Yes. They had to. It's a thing that people expected and they had to do. That's right. And I thought it was better handled than they could have done it, which would have ... They could have done a jokey comic book reference-y thing where they're like, "This movie takes place in between the events of ..." You know how old comics would do that, or I guess comics still do that. But they didn't do that. They did it, I think, much more organically. They did it in a way that it makes sense that he wasn't a part of it and he won't be part of the sequel, I would guess, if he's stuck in the microverse. Stuck in the mic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Quantum realm. Unless he gets rescued by somebody.
JVL01:00:43Unless the micronauts come and get him. I get it. And also, one more lesson here is that you can do small-stake superhero movies. You can do superhero movies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never in question. Does not have to be about the universe. Where it's all about one person. And the truth is, if you do it right, the stakes feel much higher. I felt the emotional stakes of this movie, where the question is, can you get Janet Pym back? Can her daughter rescue Janet Pym? And can Henry Pym get his wife back? Are truthfully at least as emotionally relevant as almost any, including like Avengers Infinity War.
Sonny01:01:18Yeah. Do you disagree? Totally. I like it when these movies are a little bit smaller. Easier that way. This is why I like, this is why Civil War is probably my favorite of the Captain America movies, because it's not actually about the fate of the world. It's about some guy. Not Winter Soldier? No. Winter Soldier is so good. No, no. It's about, it's about. It's internecine. Somebody, somebody trying to get back at the guy who killed his parents. Yeah. And that's like, I mean, that's what it, that's what it comes down to.
JVL01:01:42Yeah. Yeah. Fair.
Vic01:01:45Okay. Victorino, do you have anything?
JVL01:01:47No. That's all my thoughts on the movie. That's everything. No, I'm just trying to think about the crew stuff.
Vic01:01:52More. Maybe after this part. Oh. Sorry. Well. That's all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, complaints, compliments, tweet us at Victorino Matus at Sonny Bunch. @JBLast. Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes or Google Play. Just type in Substandard at a podcast and we are there. Leave a review. Tell your friends. Until next time. .
?01:02:14. . . . . . . . . .
Sonny01:02:24What do you want to talk about? Two things. The cabin arrangements.
Vic01:02:27Oh, it was great. We thought there was going to be a problem because there was only one pullout, the pullout sofa. I said, "How are you going to fit two kids in this?" I can't believe, and my brother-in-law is freaking out, like how do they think we're going to fit four people, even two little kids, in this room because this little bed is not big enough for two kids. And then we thought, "Well, maybe one of them will have to go to my parents' room. We'll have to share the bed. What are we going to do?" And then 15 minutes later, he figures out. Oh, wait a minute. This thing on top, it's a bunk, and a bunk bed goes out.
JVL01:02:55Oh, so the kids were in the room with you. Okay. Yes. You had made a joke about the rocking outside of the cabin, and so I was confused
Vic01:03:05for a moment. Oh, no, no, no. I was talking about our trips. Oh.
?01:03:09Doesn't count when you're at sea. Okay.
Vic01:03:11Do you want to keep on going? I was going to keep on rolling. Two really quick things, and I'm done. One of them is the most amazing thing. At the Animator's Palate Dinner, they have these giant TV screens, and Crush from Finding Nemo comes around and says, "Hi." He actually talks to you. Dude Crush? Dude Crush. He goes, "What's your name, dude?" And I'm like, "Vic." And then he's like, "Hey, what's going on, Vertical Vic?" And it was crazy, and the kids were freaking out. And he's like, "Where are you from?" And I said, "Oh, New Jersey, Virginia." "Is that like one place, New Jersey, Virginia?" It was crazy. It's crazy. The kids thought it was the most amazing thing.
JVL01:03:51AI. Yeah. Essentially. Disney. It's AI. Turns out, we're gonna learn that Disney beat everybody to the punch on AI.
Vic01:03:57Yeah, yeah, yeah. That. Dinosaurs, they probably figured out on an island.
JVL01:04:00Is that, or they had John Lasseter below decks, like, actually interacting- I believe you said below.
Vic01:04:05I think you said below decks, right?
?01:04:08Below deck.
Vic01:04:09Yes. Go ahead.
JVL01:04:11Are you done? Did you have one other thing? I had one other thing. Do your other thing.
Vic01:04:15Okay, fine. I will then ask you my question. Okay. And then only once did I walk into the atrium, and it was during the Disney Princess meet-and-greet. M-E-E-T. Yes. Sonny, come on. And, so you bring a little kid- Sonny, come on. You forget. He's already disgusted, and we're way over time, and it's funny how little the kids are now that get to meet them, even though I mean, like, my daughter didn't want to do it anymore because, you know, and they're all there.
JVL01:04:38Come on, Sabrina.
Vic01:04:39We're gonna go meet her. Come on. Come on. I gotta go get a pic- I mean, you gotta go get a picture with her. And I'll tell you who I found was most striking was Tiana, right? Tiana from Princess and the Frog. And she- Small business owner. Oh, yes. That's right. Natural Republican. And she was- I walked in, and she was so striking-looking that I just stopped in my tracks, and I just- honestly, I just stood there like, "Wow." And then she looked in between waiting for girls to come up for photos, and she looked up at me, and she gave me a little wave, and then I waved back.
JVL01:05:10And she also pressed the call button that she has there for security.
Vic01:05:13And then she was shuttled away. The panic button. And then she was shuttled away. I said, "Where are you going?" Why are you pushing that button? The fact- Come back. I mean, I just happened- I was on my way. I was on my way to guest services, so I was alone. I was not with my kids. I'm just standing there. But I only stood- honest to God, I only stood there alone for five minutes, staring. Five minutes. You were wearing your trench coat. No, I was just wearing swim trunks, but nothing else. I'm just standing in the atrium, like, "Hey."
JVL01:05:36You had a question.
Vic01:05:37Question. Legit question. Sonny's already leaving. He's already standing on- The end. We gotta go. This is what I imagined Vic looking like. It was kind of like that, actually. The end of your 5K.
JVL01:05:48Yes. The furthest you have ever run in your life. Mm. I assume you put on a kick, a put on a move, for the last, like, 400 meters, right?
Vic01:05:58Well, like a fasted furious, press the button, and then I just zoom.
JVL01:06:03Right, you hit the nitrous.
Vic01:06:04The nitrous, yes. NOS, man. I gotta have more NOS.
JVL01:06:07Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did you feel at the end of your first race?
Vic01:06:10Well, I thought I was gonna hit that button. I thought I hit the button, and yet the Japanese father and son were ahead of me. I could not overtake them, and I thought I was going to. I, I, I was just, I don't know, my whole body was on fire, 'cause it was like 88 degrees out and extremely humid, and I've, you know, I just, and the water wasn't enough, and drinking enough water, you start to get cramps, so I'm just throwing water on top of my head, and I, but I got the medal. That's the most important thing, is getting the medal. I can see how people get into that. God, I'm sure, I'm sure it's fine.
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