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#130. The Substandard on Jurassic World, Dishwashing Drama, and Sand

2018-06-28 · 56:58

Listen to this episode ↗on Substack, where the show lives now

Dudes Chatting — Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom: Sonny delivers the most analytical review: the core problem is that the film is philosophically opposite to the original Jurassic Park — where Crichton's thesis was "science will destroy you," this film asks us to help the dinosaurs, turning them into sympathetic tools rather than forces of nature. The government actually does the right thing (refuses the rescue mission), but a rich man has ulterior motives (auction), and every good character survives while every bad character gets eaten — morally tidy in a way that defangs the premise. The cloned girl liberating the dinosaurs because "they're like me" (implying she has no soul, per Sonny) is the film's strangest note. JVL calls it the second-best Jurassic Park film but concedes that's a low bar; he brought the Lego Jurassic Park set. Vic: the kids loved it, but a man in the reclining seat in front of him farted on him four times, and his son correctly compared the San Diego sequence to The Lost World. Franchise ranking (worst-to-best roughly): Sonny puts Lost World worst, then Fallen Kingdom, then JP3; Vic has JP3 worst, then Lost World, then Fallen Kingdom. Star Wars sidebar: Disney has paused all standalone Star Wars films; Kevin Feige reportedly summoned to a meeting with Iger and Kathleen Kennedy. JVL proposes a group outing to the Alamo Drafthouse Woodbridge for Mission: Impossible — Fallout, with enthusiasm for the gastropub menu and floor-level server access. Weekend chat: JVL's Lowe's dishwasher delivery saga ended with the driver calling during his "hanger" period — he accepted; dishwasher then sat in the kitchen for five days. Sonny's first beach trip since his Aruba honeymoon (seven years ago): read Bonfire of the Vanities, got sand in the hotel room, watched his daughter get swamped by a wave, and went no deeper than his calves.

Box Office: Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom opened #1 at $150M; Incredibles 2 $81M; Ocean's 8 $11.6M. Anthony Kennedy's retirement is briefly noted.

Full transcript
Sonny00:00:00- See, the Tyrannus doesn't have any set patterns or park schedules. The essence of chaos.
JVL00:00:11- I'm still not clear on chaos.
Sonny00:00:14- Oh, it simply deals with predictability and complex systems. The shorthand is the butterfly effect, a butterfly can flap its wings in Peking, and in Central Park you get rain instead of sunshine. - Why? - And then I go too fast, I go too fast, I do the fly-by.
Vic00:00:36- Hello, and welcome to another edition of The Substander, sponsored by Casper Mattress and Quip Electric Toothbrush. I'm Victor Matus, along with Sonny Bunch and Jonathan V. Last. I'd like to remind you The Substander is available on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher. Just look at a podcast and search for "Substandard." You will easily find us. Please subscribe, tell your friends, leave a review. Gentlemen, how are we? JVL, how is that new dishwashing machine going? - I thought we were coming to me last. - No, I think, well, he said he wanted to come to you first. - I have no idea how to transition from you to the box office. Please, are you still working on it? You want me to switch? You want me to go to Sonny first? And you can compose your thoughts about how awesome this is and how easy everything was.
JVL00:01:23- We're taping on Thursday mornings. - Like always. - Like always. - Like always. - This is the normal thing.
Vic00:01:29- It's real.
JVL00:01:30It is real. - My 39-decibel wonder of nature.
Sonny00:01:37- Well, not really. It's more of a technological marvel.
JVL00:01:39- Was supposed to be delivered yesterday.
Sonny00:01:43- On Wednesday.
JVL00:01:44- Now, this is after the good people at Lowe's. - Ooh. - Lowe's, the helpful hardware place. Isn't that what they are? Or maybe it's Ace is helpful. I don't know.
Sonny00:01:53You know what Lowe's is? - Not Home Depot. That's what it is. - We'll get there in a minute.
Vic00:01:57- Home Depot is not delivering, though. Well, they'll deliver, but ...
JVL00:01:59- So after the Lowe's sort of thing is, "Hey, buy it from us, and free delivery, free hallway, free hookup." It turns out it's free hooks for every appliance except for dishwashers.
Sonny00:02:11- Ooh.
JVL00:02:12- So I'm making my own arrangements. - What do they assume people do? What do they assume people do? - And the free hallway is only hauled away if you've already removed the old dishwasher. - So you have to take it out yourself. Not just unhooking it, but taking it out yourself. - Yeah. Totally free. - It's not really free, is it? - Question.
Vic00:02:30- And it's not really a hallway, then, is it? - No. Question. Is that the dishwasher that came with the house?
JVL00:02:36- Yes. - Okay.
Vic00:02:38So you have no idea what's behind there. Did you assume that it was installed a couple years ago? But who knows?
JVL00:02:43- So I got a call yesterday morning at 8:00 from Mike at Lowe's, who said, "Yeah, there's been some sort of mix-up. We have no idea how this happened." - Yes. - But your dishwasher did not get here before 8:00. And the truck pulls out at 8:00, and so we couldn't put it on the truck. And so I know it was supposed to get here to you today, but we can't do it. And we're terribly sorry. And I was, I think, entirely reasonable. - Mm-hmm. - And I said, "Okay, well, I'm sorry to hear that, but so when am I gonna get it?" He said, "You'll have it tomorrow." I said, "Great. What is my delivery window tomorrow?" And he said, "We will call you tonight to let you know your delivery window tomorrow." - Mm. Yes.
Sonny00:03:28I'm familiar with this. - So I went to bed, and I woke up this morning, and I had no messages from Lowe's about when
JVL00:03:34my delivery window would be. And so I called this morning at 8:00 to talk to Mike. And Mike was there, and Mike said, "Gee, you know what? I don't know exactly what the delivery window was. I think we had you scheduled for the second or the third stop. I'm gonna call the driver, and then I'll call you right now." - Mm. - And I said, "Do you need me to call you back five minutes from now?" - Good. - "No, no, no," Mike said, "I will call you back in just one minute." So two hours later, I tried to go and get ahold of Mike again, and I spent 25 minutes on hold with Lowe's, with the Lowe's store. This is not like some nebulous Lowe's mothership. This is the actual Lowe's store in Dale City, Virginia. - Ah. It's really close. Just minutes from your house.
Vic00:04:29- Just minutes.
JVL00:04:30- With them saying, "Uh, Lowe's customer service, how can we help you? May I please speak to the delivery manager?" "Sure, hold on for one second," and then I would go, and I would hear Dinosaur Jr. for 30 seconds, and then I'd hear some other voice, "Lowe's customer service, how can we help you?" "The delivery manager, please." And I, for the first 25 minutes, I was really good-natured about this. - Mm-hmm. First 25, but the 26th minute, and I have, it was one of my rules is, you should never be abusive to people on the phone who are doing customer service, who are not the cause of your problem. - Right. - And the people answering customer service Lowe's at Dale City are not the cause of my problem, but at minute 26, I sort of lost my and started cursing. - Is that when I happened to walk into your office? - Yes.
Sonny00:05:18- Ah. - Yes, it is. - 'Cause let me tell you what happened when I walked into JBL's office. - Yes, what happened? - JBL's got a big smile on his face, and he says, "Oh, I've been on hold for 25 minutes." - "Oh, hi, yes, hi, I'd like to speak to your manager, please."
JVL00:05:30- That's what happened. And so they told me then that I didn't get to talk to Mike. I talked to some other manager who said that, "You know, it actually looked like my dishwasher wasn't on the truck at all." But that he was gonna transfer me to the online orders department, since I did place my order online. And that they would get this all straightened up. And so he transferred me, and I got more Dinosaur Jr. hold music, and then the line went dead. And so I came in here to you. You know, we do a lot of product moving on this show. Nobody who listens to this show should ever buy anything from Lowe's again. Those people are a bunch of . Okay. I hate them. And you know what? Yeah.
?00:06:35I am.
JVL00:06:36I am going to buy this dishwasher for the same exact price from Lord Bezos. Yeah, wow. I am not going to cancel the order from Lowe's. I'm going to wait until they show up, whenever that is, and I'm going to refuse delivery.
Vic00:06:52Okay. Please have a camera ready for this. I want to see this. I mean- You've got to load this up.
Sonny00:07:01Worst case scenario, you have two 40 decibel dishwashers. 39.
JVL00:07:06Vic? Yes? There was a time in my life when I was a pretty angry man. Right up to-
Vic00:07:12Do you remember this?
JVL00:07:13Yes, sure. And I think over the last decade or so, that I have really tamped that down. This has been a conscious decision on my part, where I really tried to tamp down Angry JVL, and be a much more zen, charitable-
Vic00:07:30Focusing on what matters most in life. Yes. Charitable type person.
JVL00:07:34Yes. Angry JVL is back. Oh my gosh. Oh no.
Vic00:07:38No. I will tell you this, JVL. I had a similar experience with delivering for my grill from Lowe's, because- Lowe's again.
Sonny00:07:46I was- Why do you savages go to Lowe's instead of Home Depot?
Vic00:07:48I don't know. We thought it was good. We liked Lowe's until this experience.
Sonny00:07:51Home Depot is so much better on every level.
Vic00:07:53No, except for I wanted delivered and assembled delivered. Delivered. You get what you pay for. Hmm. That's a good point. Get what you pay for. I get a call on the day of delivery, because it never showed up, of course, on the day of. Hmm. Yes. From Lowe's. From Lowe's. They said, "My driver had a medical emergency, so we're going to have to deliver it the next day." The next day, still nothing. I said, "What happened?" They said, "Oh, well, it turns out the driver ... Your grill was on the truck when the driver had his medical emergency. Wherever that truck is, your grill is, and we don't know where the truck is." They said that. We lost it.
JVL00:08:31Yeah.
Vic00:08:32The dog ate our truck. The dog ate our truck. I said, "What do you mean? It's in some hospital parking lot? We don't know." We would have to assemble it again, and we'll get it in another four or five days. It was a week after the day that was supposed to be delivered. The other thing was, waiting to call and talk to them was a similar experience. It was probably 15, 20 minutes of just going around in a circle, and everyone's saying, "Who do you want to speak to?" The manager, "Okay, one second. Who do you want to speak to? Who do you want to speak to?" The manager every four or five minutes.
JVL00:08:57When we are done taping this podcast, hand to God, the minute we finish editing it, I'm going to go downstairs to the basement, I'm going to get in my car, and I'm going to drive to the Dale City Lowe's, and I'm going to find the person and have a conversation about this in person and face to face, because then they can't hang up on me. They can't. Okay. If only there was some magical technological device which allowed people to keep constant geographic location of inanimate objects. If only we had something like that.
Sonny00:09:28You mean like a person who just sits with your thing and just like sits on top of it? I don't know, like an RFID chip. And like calls every once in a while and be like, "Hey, I'm on I-95, mile marker 160, 62." Or some system that allows you to see.
JVL00:09:42You know, I believe that Amazon now lets you watch where your things are as they come to you. It's so great.
Sonny00:09:49I get the little notification on my phone, and it's always nine stops away. You can track. It always starts from the same exact place, and it's like nine stops away. And I'm like-- Lord Bezos.
JVL00:09:57That's great. Lord Bezos, if you're listening. The endorphins. Could you please buy Lowe's and then just blow it up? Just fire every single person who works for any division of Lowe's anywhere, and then implode all of their stores, and then salt the earth on top of them.
Sonny00:10:20Like Carthage. Like Carthage. The worst thing that's ever happened to me at a Home Depot is I got stuck in an elevator once. Remember when I got stuck in an elevator? And they were so apologetic, they gave me like-- I got like 500 bucks worth of stuff for free. They were like-- I had already paid for it, I'd left the store, I'd get stuck in the elevator. They're like, "Come back in, we'll give you all your money back."
JVL00:10:38I know what I'm gonna do. A Home Depot with an elevator? Yeah. Every Home Depot I've ever been in has been one level.
Sonny00:10:44Yeah, me too. So it's one level, except there's like a parking structure. Off of freight.
JVL00:10:49I mean, you know how high the ceilings are on this.
Sonny00:10:50Right, right, right. So there's a parking structure that you can go and park on, and if you go and park on the top level, you can either take the stairs or take the elevator. Is this the DC Sniper Home Depot you were at?
JVL00:11:00The Seven Corners one? I think it might be.
Sonny00:11:02Yeah. I think I've been there too. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, stuck in the elevator. Very apologetic. They're like, "Sir, please come back, we'll give you all of your stuff for free."
JVL00:11:10Did they give you a grill?
Sonny00:11:11They did not, but I spent-- I had more money-- I had more stuff in my cart than the cost of my grill, so. I already know what I'm doing.
Vic00:11:17I'm going to that Home Depot. I'm bringing with me a can of hairspray and the lighter, like in the Blues Brothers, and
Sonny00:11:20just like that elevator up.
Vic00:11:23Yeah, but what do you-- And then say, "Oh, I don't know, something happened to the elevator. I got stuck here," but then short-circuit it. By the way, I just want to say, the medical emergency story I was told, in case listeners are wondering, thinking that I'm heartless, they did tell me later, "Oh no, he's fine," but it does make me wonder, was that just a story?
JVL00:11:42Uh-huh. Uh-huh, because as my experience would show, Lowe's is a bunch of filthy liars. They're both incompetent and liars at Lowe's.
Sonny00:11:51I cannot wait for the conclusion to this one.
Vic00:11:54Andy, how are you, and welcome back. Thank you.
Sonny00:11:56Where have you been? The reason we're taping on Thursday, like usual, is because I was at the beach. I went to Virginia Beach. Were you celebrating anything? For three or four days. No. Just having a couple days off.
Vic00:12:07He doesn't ever take vacations, so this is rare. I literally... He does not.
Sonny00:12:11It sets a bad example for the rest of the office. This is the first extended period of time off I've taken in, I don't know, probably three years. Actually, four years.
Vic00:12:24Four years. It's bad for the rest of the office, because then somebody else in the office will say, "Well, if Sonny doesn't take it, maybe no one else should."
Sonny00:12:29Well, that's right. It's killing us. It's killing us. Everyone should be chained to their desks. Literally chained to their desks. If I could, if I could literally chain people to their desks, I would do it, but... We had a good laugh at your... Labor laws. Ugh. You know what? The new Supreme Court is going to take care of those. Oh, good. Thank God. I'm going to chain children to the desk. It's going to be great. Gorsuch, he's going to come to the office. He's going to actually snap the locks shut.
Vic00:12:53Speaking of Supreme Court, yesterday, Anthony Kennedy announced that he was...
Sonny00:12:58I'm just kidding. No.
Vic00:13:01Sonny, I did mention to everyone at the meeting on Monday, I said that Sonny is not here. He's on vacation, but I can assure you he'd rather be in his dark office right now than
JVL00:13:11where you were. 100%. Where were you? Don't tell me... Just tell me the type of location. Were you in a forest? Were you at a lake? No, I was at a beach. I said I went to a beach.
Sonny00:13:21On a beach with sand? The worst. Did you touch it? No. I was at... So, we were staying in Virginia Beach, and it was actually... We were staying in the Holiday Inn and Suites. It was nice. We... I don't know if people are familiar with the layout of Virginia Beach, but our hotel was basically the one that was all the way on the end of the beach, so it was not very crowded, and because we weren't going to restaurants and drinking and stuff, it didn't really matter that we were out on the edge of things. How long has it been since you were on a beach? Since my honeymoon, we went to Aruba.
JVL00:13:57So that's seven years ago, almost.
Sonny00:13:58This is Katie's first time on a beach, ever? No, no, no, no. I mean, we've been to the beach in California a couple of times just to kind of walk along the sand briefly, because Beth's family's from...
JVL00:14:11So she's had experience with sand and waves. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sonny00:14:15Does she like it, or is she like, "Eh, what's all this about?" She's had experience being on the sand, but this is the first time she really went in the water. And she had a lot of fun the first day. Like a lot of fun. She would walk in the water and kind of like, "Ah," run out of it, walk in the water. You didn't touch the water? I went in a couple times, but like one foot's worth. I don't want to get my actual trunks wet, so anything higher than calves was very much a no-go zone for me. But right at the end of the first day, a big wave kind of came up out of nowhere and swamped her. It kind of pulled her under a little bit, and she freaked out. She was like clinging to mommy and was yelling, "Daddy, come save us! Daddy, come save us!" And I was like, "Sorry, kid, you're in the water now. You made a bad choice." Now you know.
JVL00:15:07Never go to the beach again. Have you learned your lesson, Katie? Yeah. This is what the beach is like.
Vic00:15:11This is what nature does. Isn't this like Bluth and the rest of the development?
Sonny00:15:15And now you know. Always leave a note. Never go in the water. But it was fine. I don't care for the beach, and all of the things that annoyed me about the beach, like sand being all over the hotel room, continued to annoy me. But it's fine. It was fine. It was nice and relaxing.
JVL00:15:34How'd you like the way sand coats the bottom of the shower after the shower arsed? It's so gross. It just sits there. You get out of the shower and you still feel dirty, don't you? It just sits there.
Sonny00:15:42Can't get clean? No, you can't.
JVL00:15:44Did you wear a blazer to the beach?
Sonny00:15:45No, but I was reading Bonfire of the Vanity for most of ... I got about halfway through Bonfire of the Vanity. They turned that movie into a book? Who was taking care of your child?
JVL00:15:53What? Who was taking care of your child while you were reading a book on the beach? Her mother.
Sonny00:15:59That's the way it works in your family. I was very happy to kind of pawn all that off. We also went to the aquarium in Virginia Beach, which was nice, and we ... Is it a good aquarium? Eh. I don't know what a good or bad aquarium is like. There were fish and sharks.
JVL00:16:18The Baltimore Aquarium used to be good. It is on its way to being bad.
Sonny00:16:22Yeah. The Shed in Chicago is good. I've never been there. That's a good one. There were fish. There were aquatic animals. Sharks. Big sharks. There were some sharks. There were some big sharks and some small sharks, and some stingrays. People like stingrays, I guess.
Vic00:16:35The one in D.C., which is in the basement of the Department of Commerce, is a very sad one. I've never been there. We went there once. It's the saddest thing. The carpet's ready. We saw a cockroach, which was not part of the exhibit. That's actually true. So I went to the movies over the weekend. Yeah. I went to see Jurassic. I brought my kids. And we went to the AMC courthouse, right? So it's so packed, as we'll get to this in a moment. And sitting there, we sat. And so we sat like second row, but in the middle. And there are people on either side. And I looked at the people and said, "Okay, I'll sit on one end because there was some dude on the other side with his family." And then there was a family on the other side, and so it would be my son and then my daughter, but they were fine. And then the movie starts. And then maybe a third of the way into the movie. At the end of the movie, somebody passed gas. Like it was awful. And it was not my son. I know it's not my son. I just could tell. I mean, not that I could tell, but this thing was so strong. I looked to the left, and there's the dude, right, and this father of this family. And those seats are very comfortable. People love it. And I think what happens is people are getting too comfortable. Now there's no sound. This was SBD, right, and I'm not going to get into the description of what the guy looked like, but let's say he was cutting the queso. So this was the silencioso per mortal. Yes.
Sonny00:17:59Are you trying to say he's Hispanic? Yes. Okay. Why don't you just say he's a Hispanic?
Vic00:18:03I was very, because I wanted to say- What does it matter? Because I wanted to say- What does it matter? Because I wanted to say cutting the queso, it was just a device. So anyway, and there he is lying down on his side with his ass facing me. Okay? And so it became a thing, I'm like, do you say something?
JVL00:18:24You know?
Vic00:18:25Lying down? Because you know the- It's one of the reclining seats. It's fully reclined. So he's- I've seen this before. I've seen this before. And they're not facing forward, they're like, watch.
Sonny00:18:34Probably these people are savages. Yeah, they're-
Vic00:18:36With his kids? Yeah, but he's like sideways, so his butt's facing me, and then it happened again. And then I started thinking, how many times is he going to, so I started playing a game in my head of counting how many times. Four times. Four times. By the fourth time, I'm going up, and I'm waving my hands around, and then it stopped. But after that, that was, it's a bit much, isn't it? Has it ever happened?
Sonny00:19:03I mean, it's really rude. JBL, you had a very much more pleasant theater experience this week, did you not?
JVL00:19:08Oh yeah. I took Flash, who's never seen a Jurassic Park movie before. Oh. And-
Vic00:19:14Michael has seen them all. No, sorry, go ahead.
JVL00:19:16And we went to the brand new Alamo Drafthouse Cinema out in- Out in Woodbridge, and you guys know my feelings about AMC. Huge, huge fan of AMC. Oh, somebody is calling in the middle of our show.
Sonny00:19:31Hold on. It's Adam White. Should we take it?
?00:19:34Yes.
JVL00:19:35Take it.
Sonny00:19:36Take it.
?00:19:37Hello?
JVL00:19:38Hey.
Sonny00:19:39The Weekly Substandard. Hey, Adam. Adam, can you- Hi, Seth. Hi.
?00:19:44You're on The Weekly Substandard right now. I'm getting off The Weekly Standard.
Sonny00:19:47Oh. Adam White, you're on the- Come on, Adam. You're literally on the air. I am?
Vic00:19:51Yes. Well, we'll see what we do with that. Exactly. But you know Anthony Kennedy, he had to go. He was 81. He was a dinosaur. Speaking of dinosaurs, over the weekend- Ah! Phew. Because the original one was- Nicely done. The original one was speaking of powerful blasts. Thank you. The movie theater. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom dominated the box office with $150 million, followed by Sibyl's two in second place with $81 million, and Ocean's eight in third place with $11.6 million. Box office thoughts? Sonny?
Sonny00:20:29I have no particularly- JVL, please.
JVL00:20:33Oh, I do. Oh, yes. Because this happened too late for us last week. You guys saw that Solo was such a success that the Lucasfilm division has hit the pause on all future Star Wars stories- Oh, that's right. We missed that. Yeah. ... and rumors out there in comic book world that there was a big powwow at Disney with Iger and Kathleen Kennedy and Kevin Feige and-
Sonny00:21:03And Kevin Feige? Really? Really?
JVL00:21:06Interesting. Uh-huh. Bringing in all of the top people at Disney to try to figure out what has gone wrong with Star Wars. I would say the people who were on Twitter trying to correct you, Sonny. Uh-huh. Have now, a mere three weeks later, been totally- What are they going to say? Are they going to say fake news? Is that what they're going to say? Wait, I'm sorry. Are you saying that Sonny's right again? I'm saying that Sonny's always right. Sonny's always right.
Sonny00:21:31Look, here's the simple fact of the matter is they need to ditch these prequel, stand-alone stories and move the universe forward, move it, expand it, do that sort of thing. These nostalgia pools have limited returns, and I think we're seeing that. And also, they need to, until they have established- Yeah. Real marketplace dominance, like the Marvel Cinematic Universe has managed to do, they need to keep it to one every 12 months. They had a great thing going with December. Every December should be Star Wars month forever, and then maybe you start throwing in the occasional July feature, but Star Wars month should be December. They didn't have a great thing going.
JVL00:22:10They had one giant, pimped-up demand, super-duper blockbuster that made all the money, and everything else after that has been not.
Sonny00:22:19A billion dollars. That's nothing to sneeze at.
JVL00:22:21But I agree. They are still stuck in the past with Star Wars. They have not figured out how to reorient it forward, and Kathleen Kennedy's Let the
Sonny00:22:31Past Die.
JVL00:22:32Very bad. Kill it. Kill it.
Sonny00:22:35If you have to. If you have to. And this is what I ... Rian Johnson has done a number of things wrong and badly in The Last Jedi, but I do think that that is kind of the key idea of the film, and it's a good one. You need to get away from the Skywalker stuff. I think Rey being a nobody, being the children of nobodies ... That gives them a ... Great. It's great. It gives them a break. They can move forward and go ahead.
JVL00:23:01But because of Kylo's parentage, you can't ever really leave the Skywalker stuff behind.
Sonny00:23:05But you can't ... Right. But you're yoked to it for forever. No, but I think only until Kylo dies, and the third ... I mean, Kylo does not survive the final film. I think that is guaranteed.
JVL00:23:17Kylo is the only ... He's the only iconic character they have that audiences respond to.
Sonny00:23:22Yeah. Well, that and BB-8. Well, except that they took what was iconic about him, the mask, and they destroyed it in the first moments of The Last Jedi. Fair. Fair. I mean, as I said, Rian Johnson did a lot of things really terrible and wrong, and that was part of that. Is he going to be in movie jail? No. No, because everybody's rallying behind ... No, he won't go to movie jail for a couple of reasons. One, the movie still made one point. Two, it made one point three, one point four billion dollars, whatever. It's not a ... I think it is now recognized, though ...
JVL00:23:54It is as a disappointment. Not a flop, but a disappointment. Well, but not a financial disappointment, but a creative disaster.
Sonny00:24:02I believe this is the consensus hardening around it. I do not think that that is the consensus hardening behind it. If anything, I think the exact opposite. I think the film Twitter critical community is trying to rally behind it and say, "No, this is actually brilliant and great, and it's so good, and they're going to try to break it." They will will this into being Empire Strikes Back if it breaks them, and I think it might break them. I think it might actually break, finally, once and forever, break the critical core. But, but, but, but, but, I do think that he has enough fans and support amongst both critical and business communities that he will not wind up doing a stint in movie jail. We'll see what happens with his supposed trilogy of Star Wars films, if that gets scuttled out.
JVL00:24:49That's a prediction. He will never direct another Star Wars movie.
Sonny00:24:51Yeah. I wouldn't, I wouldn't bet against that.
Vic00:24:54I wouldn't bet against that. I would have loved to have seen a, it's a shame, I would have loved to have seen a movie like Lobot. Lobot in the Land of Ugnaughts. I think that would have been a nice movie. Um, okay. Bosque. Bosque! That would be a good movie. Uh, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Did we all see it? I saw it. I saw it. Hey! Good. I just, I saw it too. Anybody else? No. Uh, just the three of us. Sonny, um... Talk about a patasaurus! Oh, thank you. Um, who wants to give the review? Big boy review.
JVL00:25:28Sonny. Uh...
Vic00:25:30Sonny, you have to give the big boy review.
JVL00:25:31Jurassic World... I'm sorry. Everybody in here who's a Rotten Tomatoes film critic, raise your hand.
Sonny00:25:36Oh! One hand up. One hand. Uh... Just one hand. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom picks up about three or four years after the original Jurassic World. And there is a debate, for some reason, taking place in the political sphere about whether or not the U.S. government should evacuate all of the dinosaurs from Isla Nubar, which is about to go kablooey. There's a volcano. It's gonna go off. And it's going to make the dinosaurs go extinct again! Now here's... I'm just gonna stop right here and, like, highlight one of the initial big problems with this whole concept, which is that if you can resurrect dinosaurs from extinction once... There is nothing to worry about from them going extinct again. You can just... If they all die on that island, you can just make new ones. It's not a big deal. They don't have... They don't have souls. There's no... There's no dino soul.
Vic00:26:29What? And the technology was smuggled out of the island, yes?
Sonny00:26:32The technology... People... I mean, it's... If... Technology... The thing about technology is that it never goes away. So it's not like they... It's not like they won't be able to bring them back again.
JVL00:26:40You know, I remember a line from a movie once that was, like, the motive for... Force. Mm-hmm. For the entire movie. Mm-hmm. It was something like, "Life finds a way."
Sonny00:26:52What movie was that? I don't know. Some special effects... Speaking of life finding a way... ...living blockbuster movie... Jeff Goldblum is in this movie for about two minutes at the beginning and two minutes at the end. Great bookend because he's making sense. He's making sense. He's making sense. He's talking to Congress about the idiocy of trying to bring these dinosaurs back. You've opened Pandora's box, et cetera, et cetera. The most fantastic thing about this movie, the most shockingly unrealistic thing about this, is that Congress does the right thing. They do the right thing, and they say, "No dinosaurs for everyone. We're not bailing out this giant private company. We're gonna let the dinosaurs die." But of course, the bleeding hearts out there just want to throw the borders open and let all the dinosaurs come in. And this is where the movie basically picks up, is with Clare and Owen going to the island with the helper of a rich person who has some weird connection to John Hammond. The total, this is a total retconning of the John Hammond origin story. It's a total retcon. Right? Yeah, yeah. There was never before this. No. So, supposedly John Hammond had a partner with whom he had a falling out for various ethical reasons, which we'll get into once we get to the spoilers. And this very rich person has a helper who wants to send Owen and Clare over there to save Blue specifically. They need Blue the raptor from the first film. And they're going to get all the dinosaurs off and take them to a preserve somewhere. But, oh, shocking, this guy has ulterior motives, and they're Russian crime lords, and there's an auction, and the dinosaurs are getting sold to bad people, et cetera, et cetera. Spoilers, I guess. Yeah, we'll have spoilers. Spoilers. We're in spoiler territory. Yeah. I mean, look, the problem with this movie is that it's dumb and it's bad. But, on top of that, it's not even a philosophical rejection of the first film. It's almost a philosophical negation of the first film. What's odd about these movies, what's odd about Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is that they basically treat the dinosaurs as something that can be helpful to man in the right circumstances. The Tyrannosaurus Rex can be helpful to man. The raptors can be trained. To do our bidding. The head-butting dinosaur is basically a cute dog that they can use to knock down walls. Dinosaurs are used as tools, basically. And this is totally contrary to the first film, which basically posits, "Okay, you can make these dinosaurs, but they're going to turn against you because they're wild creatures." The film has one shot of the Tyrannosaurus Rex kind of saving them, but that's only because it wants to eat the raptors. You know? Yeah. But in certain circumstances, the dinosaurs can be helpful and good, but when you really meddle with them and when you create the Indominus Rex and the Indoraptor, that's when you're going too far, is totally insane. It's totally insane. The original meddling is not too far.
JVL00:30:00The original meddling is good.
Sonny00:30:02The original meddling is good, and it creates these sad dinosaurs that die in the lava and you're supposed to feel bad for them. But it's totally batshit insane, the whole point of these movies, the whole point of the first movie, the whole point of Michael Crichton's entire body of work is we know just enough about science to get ourselves into trouble, and then the science will do bad things to us, basically. That is, I would say, the underlying ethos of his body of work, and it is not the underlying ethos of Jurassic World. The underlying ethos of Jurassic World is these things have a right to exist and they can be helpful in the right circumstances, and it's okay. It's okay that there are dinosaurs just roaming the woods of California. How many people are gonna die? How many people, they let a raptor go into the woods of California. How many human beings are going to die because of this? Hundreds?
JVL00:30:56Yeah. I'm sorry, hold on. Sonny, you're suggesting that dinosaurs killing people is a bad thing.
Sonny00:31:05You hate people. I would, well, I'm not, some people would be okay. Depends on, if you can get the laser sight, the laser sight targeted on the right people. But this is like where the movie goes wrong, is that like all of the bad people die. All of the bad people die. They're killed by the dinosaurs and that's good, because the dinosaurs are good. Right.
Vic00:31:24It's like the only time I saw like one of the security guards getting stomped on during a stampede. No one ever gets stomped on during the stampede of dinosaurs, except for the bad guy. Right. Totally insane. Okay, thank you. You know what I thought was weird, by the way, is this fixation in the movie of the teeth. Like they had to get the teeth. Was that for DNA purposes?
Sonny00:31:41Well, no, I think that, so there's the great white hunter. The white hunter character. Basically the Muldoon.
Vic00:31:46Ted Levine. One of my favorite actors, Ted Levine. Yeah.
Sonny00:31:49Ted Levine. Yeah. Who...
Vic00:31:52He's very old all of a sudden.
Sonny00:31:53He does. Yeah. Still lovely. Basically the Steven Lang character of this film. Yes. And he's creating, he's getting like a war trophy. It's like he's making a necklace. So he's doing it for, not for DNA. He's basically just doing it because he's, you know, masculine. Right. And like he's evil. Right, right. You can tell he's evil because he's... Well, they have to cue you to his evilness. Yes. With the teeth thing. Yes, the teeth thing. Because you don't already know his evilness because he's double-crossed everyone. No, no, no.
Vic00:32:21He's gotta take the teeth. It makes no sense. But speaking of teeth, JVL.
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Vic00:34:01That was a perfect read, JVL. Thank you. Perfect read. Did either of you fellas stay to the very, very, very end of the movie? No. Was there a... There was a stinger at the end. Oh. Tell me about it, 'cause I did not. We left. Yeah, I was ready to leave, too, because I could barely breathe, but my kids insisted, and so at the very end, you'll be happy to, 'cause you were expressing some concern about the ending of the movie, and the dinosaurs are in the woods and stuff. The very ending of the movie, you see one of those, the pteranodons flying in the air, those beautiful creatures flying, and it lands on... What looks like the top of the Eiffel Tower, but it's the Paris, Las Vegas Eiffel Tower, and dinosaurs have arrived on the strip. The end. That was the end.
Sonny00:34:54Okay.
Vic00:34:55So, I wonder if there's gonna be another movie.
Sonny00:34:58Yeah.
Vic00:34:59So I... Battle for Planet Earth.
JVL00:35:04Go ahead, JVL, 'cause I have some other thoughts, go ahead. I didn't dislike it.
Vic00:35:09Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
JVL00:35:10In fact... Things I was annoyed by, but... I think it's probably the second best Jurassic Park movie, but this is a common... There is only one good Jurassic Park movie, it's Jurassic Park, which itself is not just
Sonny00:35:22a good movie, but is a truly great movie.
JVL00:35:24Yeah. And in fact, I brought for show and tell today, my Lego Jurassic Park set, which is...
Sonny00:35:29Is it Lego or lepid?
JVL00:35:30This is real Lego. Ooh.
Sonny00:35:32One of my favorite sets ever.
JVL00:35:34It's very tiny, it is basically the control room where they are stacked and the velociraptors trying to get in, and it's... The level of detail in this set is truly astonishing.
Vic00:35:45You know what's great is the room where Wayne Knight's character has to go and steal the eggs.
JVL00:35:52Yeah, the eggs.
Vic00:35:53Look at the computer screens. Oh, there he is. Love it. Yes. Dennis Nedry. But the funny thing is, they actually look like Amber in the cylinders. Okay. And tell us who the characters are in this scene here. It's the kids. Okay. So you got the kids. So he's actually shorter.
JVL00:36:08Joey Bozzello's character is really short there. Okay.
Vic00:36:11The girl. And is that Laura Dern? Laura Dern. And Sam Neill. And Sam Neill, yeah. Okay. So this is... Oh, I know what this is. And look, the door opens. Oh, yes. Yeah, the whole line. This is the scene where... Is this the scene where the rat, towards the end of the movie, where the rat's just trying
JVL00:36:26to get in? The kitchen is over here. Ah, it's a kitchen. Yeah. It really compresses the space.
Vic00:36:31I'm gonna put a picture of this. I'm not really sure about this. I'm not really sure about this. Yeah. Okay. I thought this... At first, when I saw it here in the studio, when I glanced at it, I thought it was the opening, the tour. Right? How they do the tour.
JVL00:36:42Yeah. But it's more like the ending. I would say that it is... This is sort of what I expect from dumb summer blockbusters, and it delivers on the... By what you expect, by the standards of a dumb summer blockbuster, it is not overly insulting unless you think about it. It does not stay with you for more than a second and a half after you're out the door. Right? I mean, I have not given this movie a second thought in six days. I have no desire to ever see it again, whereas I sat through Jurassic Park, the original one, six times in the theater and have seen it dozens of times... It's an amazing movie. ... ever since then. On the other hand, one of the joys of the original Jurassic Park is that it is both one of the great summer blockbuster thrill rides ever, and also a movie with ideas, and it bears scrutiny, and one of the ideas is, as you're getting at it, Sonny, that the people with the best of intentions, their best of intentions turn out horribly, and in the new Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, the people with the best of intentions make everything right, and the only people who make things turn out badly are people with bad intentions, and that is a oversimplification which is so lazy and is part of what makes it... Right? Do you disagree?
Sonny00:38:03Right? I mean, this is... No.
?00:38:06I mean, I think that's about right. I mean, and this is...
Sonny00:38:08I'm curious. To get your guys' read on kind of the last scene where the little cloned girl, who now we have human cloning.
Vic00:38:16I was gonna say, since we have spoilers, I was gonna say, Sonny, it was kind of, for me, it reminded me of the ending of Chinatown when you find out that the younger sister of Faye Dunaway is in fact her daughter at the same time or some crazy thing like that.
Sonny00:38:30It's weird. The little cloned girl says, "No, these dinosaurs need to be free 'cause they're just like me." Yes. And there are two ways to read this. The first is, she's a little girl and she shouldn't be anywhere near that button. They should have broken her hands. But the children have all knowledge. They're so innocent. But does this also mean that little cloned children are evil just like the dinosaurs? Because that's what, my takeaway from this is, no soul. You have no soul, just like these dinosaurs have no soul.
Vic00:38:58Don't clone these kids.
Sonny00:38:59Don't clone kids. And what are they doing?
Vic00:39:01How selfishness.
Sonny00:39:02I mean, exactly, she reasons like a child and we are supposed to act like this childish, selfish wisdom is some sort of great good, when in fact it's actually evil and wicked and wrong. And everyone in that movie, everyone in that movie is terrible and makes bad decisions
JVL00:39:20and I hate them all. But it's not just bad decisions. Vic, you're a Chris Pratt fan. Yeah. Yeah. I like Chris Pratt too. Mm-hmm. Good American. Did Chris Pratt do anything for you in this movie?
Vic00:39:33Because this was the most phoned in performance I've ever seen him give. He escaped the jaws of a dragon. A T-rex in a cage. It amazes me that he didn't get chomped in half. That's the scene that I think about. No, I didn't mean the movie star stuff. Like, did you-- No, I mean it's not like-- Normally, you're like, man, this guy's great. He electrifies the screen. He didn't actually have to carry the movie. He carried the first Jurassic World, you know? And it's not the same in this one, though. That's true.
JVL00:39:57His vork, his value over replacement Chris? Mm-hmm.
Sonny00:40:01Very low in this movie. Oh. Yeah. The problem is the character's just not very good. Yeah. I mean, the character's just kind of a lame character. Mm-hmm.
JVL00:40:09He's not given anything to do, but he also doesn't do it with very much panache.
Vic00:40:12Yeah. I think he maybe wants to get out of the Jurassic business. I don't know. Do you-- I don't know. I was hoping to see Sam Neill, but that didn't happen. I felt like also the end of the movie with the auction, it kind of reminded me of the ending of Taken. You know? And here's our deal. This one is pure.
Sonny00:40:30You know? Also, aren't the dinosaurs insanely cheap? Yes. Like, $10 million for a dinosaur?
Vic00:40:34That was crazy. That was crazy. And in fact--
Sonny00:40:37Like, granted, it's not the open market. It's a black market. But it's--
JVL00:40:40The operation-- Really? So I think they netted-- It's very short-sighted. They netted $120 million or so. The operation to rescue the dinosaurs had to have cost very nearly that. As an ROI proposition, this whole thing makes no sense.
Vic00:40:53It was a big mistake. And that's why Toby Jones, who plays probably one of the Koch brothers, I'm not sure who he's supposed to be in this movie, they make him so obviously, you know?
JVL00:41:02The gratuitous swipe at Trump, the nasty woman.
Vic00:41:05Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, you know what? I forgot that. Reminds me--
JVL00:41:09When did this happen? Of his foremost Trump haters. I think-- Just stop this. You're entitled. No, I-- Stop this. When was this?
Sonny00:41:17I actually-- I missed this. It takes you out of the movie. It's near the middle of the film where the-- They're on the ship and Ted Levine-- Again, the Stephen Lang-type character is like--
Vic00:41:24Oh! And he said that.
JVL00:41:26Yes. I know. But it's out of-- I mean, this is a-- It does not-- A line like that does not exist except as a signal, a fellow travel signaler to-- I wrote-- I wrote--
Sonny00:41:38Please don't do this. Please don't do this. I wrote a whole piece about this for The Washington Post. Did you? And now it's like-- It symbolizes the decline of the quip, which is like-- Yeah. A good one-liner in an action movie is absurd, but it keeps you within the world of the movie by heightening the absurdity. Yes. And this very explicitly takes you out of the film. No, that's exactly what I hated about it. It's like, "Hey, we are anti-Trump. Look at us. We got your notes about the first film. Note that Claire's not wearing any heels. Look, she's got boots on. And we do the nasty woman." Like, who cares? Yeah.
JVL00:42:10Come on. Yeah. I hated that. Vic, did you feel like the movie delivered on the promise of its trailer? How satisfied were you when you walked out of this thing?
Vic00:42:21I mean, again, my impression was clouded because of the guy who kept on passing gas.
Sonny00:42:26Oh, so you can't-- It was like I was sick to my stomach. Okay. So you were deprived of oxygen while watching this, basically. I was deprived of oxygen.
Vic00:42:33You can't remember any of it. I'll tell you, my kids loved it, of course. However, walking out, my son-- Or, towards the end, my son leans into me and he says, "So basically, it's like Jurassic 2, the second one, where they come into the-- Basically, where they come to San Diego. Yeah. And it's the same thing. I said, "Yeah. That's exactly right." And they have to deal with that. But the-- Again, it's just, you know, it's this can of worms. Okay, they're going to open this up, and now they're roaming all over the country, so we know what this is about. It's about making another movie.
JVL00:43:03This is the first time I can remember a big blockbuster like this failing to deliver on the money shot. Yeah. From the trailer. So the money shot in the trailer is the Mosasaurus coming out of the wave. Oh, the waves. Yeah. The surfer. And in fact, that's just a piece of the coda. A throwaway. Yeah. A throwaway scene. Buried deep. The only thing I can think of is like Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, with the arrow shot that was only in the trailer, and then recut to like just throw it in a training montage or something. Yeah.
Vic00:43:31Like this is-- Yeah. Yeah. You know, and in fact, the main villain in this movie, I believe, is played by Ray Spall, is his name, who I kind of felt like was like the poor man's Ryan Reynolds. Anyway, he kind of reminded me, but in the poor man's version of it. And he actually calls out Claire and says, "You're as equally responsible." Because, of course, when she says, "No, I'm not. It's not my fault." You know, what was Jurassic World about? It was about an amusement park, right? Yeah. It's the same thing. And creating these dinosaurs because it would be amusing. Anyway. Okay. Do we have any further thoughts? No. On Jurassic? We're good. Nothing.
JVL00:44:09Okay. Would you say this is better or worse than Jurassic Park 3?
Vic00:44:13Oh, no, no, no.
JVL00:44:14The Jurassic Park 3 is the worst, okay? It's the worst. So, if I'm going to ask you to rank them, but rank the bottom three. The bottom three, okay. The bottom three. From third worst to worst worst.
Vic00:44:28Okay, okay. Third worst might be this one that we just saw, Fallen Kingdom. Okay. It was third. Mm-hmm. You know, I really enjoyed the second one until the uneven parallel bars. That really tanked it for me, okay? It does kind of go off the rails after that. It really does. That's the moment. Okay, that's the moment, okay? And then worst worst is Talione. I'm sorry. That was ... I mean, it's just ridiculous.
Sonny00:45:01Third worst is Jurassic Park 3. Second worst is Fallen Kingdom. Worst worst is Lost World.
JVL00:45:08Wow. Ooh. You're wrong.
Sonny00:45:11Now, Jurassic World I think is better than all the rest of those, but it's still not a good movie. I mean, these are two to one star movies. Right. And Jurassic Park is a four star movie. I mean, it's like ... I think I'm with Vic. No. Actually. No. All I know- William H. Macy's in that.
JVL00:45:29He's great.
Sonny00:45:30I do like William H. Macy's, but-
Vic00:45:31And Talione. And Sam Neill comes back. ... comes back. Yeah. Is that supposed to be Sam Neill's son or just a lookalike who was going to be the next big star and nothing happened? Remember that guy?
JVL00:45:39What does Talione get for her career? I cannot think of-
Vic00:45:42I have not seen her in a while.
JVL00:45:43Thankfully. Anybody else? No.
Sonny00:45:46She's got like Madam Secretary, right? She's got a show on network television. Yeah.
JVL00:45:49Thank you for reminding me. What's network TV? This is ... I cannot think of another actor or director who gets to bomb and blow up so many projects and then just keeps getting offered more work and more work and more work.
Vic00:46:04Interesting. Interesting. No, but she keeps on going because there's no rest for the weary. Speaking of getting rest, JVL.
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Vic00:47:49JVL, did you- I believe Lowe's is delivering it.
Sonny00:47:53Yes. Sonny. JVL, did you have anything else you wanted to say about the Alamo Drafthouse? Oh, yeah. Because I feel like we got interrupted because Adam White jumps in.
Vic00:48:03My constitutional scholar, Adam White.
JVL00:48:05Go ahead. So, I first began reading about the Alamo Drafthouse back on Sunday. It was on Ain't It Cool News like 20 years ago. Oh, yeah. And- Harry Knowles. It is the future of the theater experience. Have either of you boys been to one of these places?
Sonny00:48:21I've not been to the Alamo Drafthouse. I've been to Drafthouses.
Vic00:48:25Yeah, I've been to Arlington Drafthouse many years ago.
JVL00:48:27That's a second run theater, isn't it? I am not- Yeah.
Vic00:48:31Kind of. Is Alamo a- They do some new, some- Are there multiple Alamo Drafthouse locations then? Yes.
JVL00:48:36And they're all called Alamo, not something Drafthouse? Yes. That's the brand. That's the brand. Okay. Alamo. And so it is first run movies. I was in- That's exciting. So this is, so far this location has eight screens, but they're not totally finished construction. They may be putting more screens in. I was in The Big Show, which is their large screen, and enormous, and properly masked. Nice. Big win. You get in, and all the seats are the leather recliner seats, and you have a table in front of you, and a menu. They don't let any people in after the first 10 minutes of previews. So if you're not there by the first 10 minutes of previews, sorry, you can't come in. They make a really big deal about cell phone use. Good. And there's a whole thing about, in fact, Jeff Goldblum does a short that they ran before Jurassic World, in which they make clear that you get one warning for taking your phone out. And after that- They kick you out. Wow. No refunds. Not for texting. Not for texting. But just taking your phone out and having the screen turn on gets you the yellow card. Question.
Sonny00:49:51And after that, gone. Question. Yeah. Does your iPhone, does your watch ever just blink on in the theaters?
JVL00:49:58I never wear this, except for when I'm running. I'm only wearing this because I went running this morning. Oh, okay. Okay. How was the food? The food was amazing. So the food is- It's not like movie food in other words. It's like gastropub food. Whoa. And what you do is you write your little, you get a little piece of paper, you write what you want on it, and you stick it out in front of your table, and a little server comes along and grabs it off, and they bring you food all throughout-
Vic00:50:26All throughout in the dark. All throughout. They can see. Is it completely dark or is it dim? No, it's dark.
JVL00:50:31I don't know how they do it, but they just do, and then they just bring you your check at the end of the- That's great. If you've got 30 minutes left in the show, they'll bring you your check. Wonderful. And this isn't disruptive at all, having the people running around- No.
Sonny00:50:44Good question.
JVL00:50:45Because this would strike me as- Here's how. Yeah, I'd be missing stuff. Here's how. Because the way the floors are set up, so as you walk through, so picture the horizontal aisle that goes parallel with the screen, right? The chairs are stepping, you have to step up into the chairs, so the floors themselves
Sonny00:51:05are recessed. So it's like super stadium seating then?
JVL00:51:08Super stadium. Wow. So that a server can be walking along the floor in front of the seats and not be obstructing anybody's screen. How do you like that?
Vic00:51:18That's pretty impressive. What location was this?
JVL00:51:20This is in Woodbridge. In Woodbridge. In Woodbridge. It was so- There's one out in Ashburn. The food was so good. There's one out in Ashburn.
Vic00:51:27The food was so good. Is that right? I can't wait. I want to go to there and just get a big plate of nachos and chili and just fart away. That's what I'm going to do.
Sonny00:51:34You're really, you're all worked up about this barter.
JVL00:51:36Correct?
Sonny00:51:37Yes.
JVL00:51:38So the price on the food, totally, like casual dining prices, so you're not being raked over the coals.
Vic00:51:44That's what I want. I might pay a hundred bucks, right?
Sonny00:51:46Also, they have avocado toast on the menu.
JVL00:51:49Oh. Now I can't have that because there's carbohydrates in it, but- Can I ask you, so you went with Flash. I took Flash. You took Flash, man. And- Who, by the way, tells me he is wrecking baseball camp, even though they've moved
Sonny00:52:03him up into the group with the 13 year olds. Oh boy. So for the two of you, including- Including tickets and food and all that, can I ask what the total price was, just to get a sense of-
Vic00:52:14Yes.
JVL00:52:15The tickets are basically the same price as normal movie tickets. So 18, because we were on the big show screen, they're more for the big show screen than they are for the, so I think they were 18 each. And I think for all the food we ate, we paid 30 bucks. So like, plus you leave a tip. Right. I mean, so with tip. Yeah. Oh. Oh, okay. So like- So like 60 or 70 bucks. Right. So where people with children, where this will pay for itself, is if you want to do dinner and a movie, you combine them and you save on the babysitting hours. Ah. Ah. That's the thought. All of a sudden- That's the thought. Hey, you don't have to go to dinner, then a movie, and now you're paying for five hours of babysitting. Right. Right. Right? So basically this is like dinner for free. Once you subtract babysitting costs out of it.
Vic00:53:02Basically, I guess so. Hmm. Okay. Thank you, JVL. Yeah. Do we have any other corrections additions? No. Okay.
JVL00:53:09I'm very fast.
Sonny00:53:10Yeah, I know. I kind of wish there was one closer than Ashburn to us. Yeah. It surprises me. There is. There's not.
JVL00:53:16It's called Woodbridge. Woodbridge is not closer than Ashburn. I know. 100% closer than Ashburn. Where do you think I live?
Sonny00:53:21I know. I'm- Richmond. Basically, I think you live in Richmond. Do you live north of Virginia Beach? I can't tell. I may have driven ... I didn't think I quite got to your house when I was driving south. Oh, gosh.
JVL00:53:31You stopped in on your way back up yesterday.
Sonny00:53:34But I also really like the Arclight. And I'm not totally sold on the eating while watching movie part of this.
Vic00:53:44I'm not sure myself. Although, I'm interested.
JVL00:53:46I'm curious. Vic, I'm sorry. This is the first time I've ever heard you not interested in eating anytime, anywhere, period.
Vic00:53:51But depending on what the movie is, I'm just concerned about my ... I like to look
JVL00:53:54at my food when I'm eating, so you're going to get distracted. But-
Vic00:53:59You would love this.
JVL00:54:00I want to check it out. I want to check it out. Why don't we go on a date? Okay. I'm 100% serious. Why don't you come down to the bridge and we'll go see Mission Impossible together at the Alamo? Oh. The bridge. Will you do this?
Vic00:54:11The apostrophe bridge.
JVL00:54:12Can we do this? Maybe we can do it. We'll work on this. Would you allow Michael to see Mission Impossible? Don't shoot me on the air. Would you allow Michael to see Mission Impossible? Oh, yeah. Of course I would. Okay. Because Flash wants to see it. Okay. All right. There you go. Because it has the Imagine Dragons song in the trailer. Can I come and be a fifth wheel? Yes.
Vic00:54:28Totally. Please. Katie's still a little too young. She's probably too young.
JVL00:54:32But so young that you could take her. She wouldn't know what's happening in the movie. Could we all do ... We have never seen a movie together. But Interstellar. We saw Interstellar together. All three of us? Right? No. Plus Continetti and ... I was not there. He wasn't there. I thought you were. It was you and me and Matt, I think. There you go. Just the three of us. Okay. Why don't we all do this?
Sonny00:54:49Isn't next week ... Isn't this coming weekend Mission Impossible? No. No. This weekend is ... On Friday is Sicario 2, Day of the Soldado.
JVL00:54:57When is Mission Impossible?
Sonny00:54:58And then Ant-Man is the week after that, I think. Ant-Man's the week after that. Is Mission Impossible July? Mission Impossible is ...
Vic00:55:03It's got to be. Because next week is July.
?00:55:05July. Yeah.
Vic00:55:05July. Okay. We'll work on it. Anyway, that's all the time we're going to give to this episode. Questions, comments, complaints, compliments, tweet us at Victorino Matus, at Sonny Bunch. At JBLast. Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes or Google Play. Just type in Substandard at our podcasts. We're there. Leave a review. Tell your friends. Until next time. So, I don't know what you guys are going to do next week. I don't know what you're going to do next week, but I am beginning next Wednesday, as you know, I'm going on a cruise.
JVL00:55:40Oh, the Disney Cruise.
Vic00:55:42The cruise is next, beginning next Wednesday, the Disney Cruise. So, we'll see what happens. We'll just take next week off. I'm more than happy to. Otherwise, Monday or Tuesday. I'm looking forward-
Sonny00:55:54We tape on Thursday.
Vic00:55:55Every Thursday. Other than that, except for next week, we almost always tape on Thursday morning or afternoon, as this is turning into. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the Disney Cruise. You know what's interesting? Again, I haven't done it before, and you haven't done it. We've done cruises together. Just not this one. They do have bracketed sections. So, for example, there are adult sections of the beach, and adult sections for bars and swimming pool, in fact. This is true. On a Disney Cruise? Yes. So, adults only, so they can just hang out, and then there are other areas just for the little kids, which is also good, because I don't want them mixing with grownups in the Oceaneer Labs.
JVL00:56:29Swingers?
Vic00:56:30No. No, no, no, no, no. But anyway, so that's interesting, but the only other thing about the cruise is there's probably teen sections for ages 13 ... There's teen sections from 13 to 17, and there's the teen hangout area, there's the teen dance club, there's actually a teen ... JVL, are you okay? There's a teen section of the beach. Did you know this? There's a teen section, and there's actually something called teen spa. Are you all right? Oh, I'm sure it's fine.

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