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#118. The Substandard on Super Troopers, Stoner Flicks, and Kanye
Listen to this episode ↗on Substack, where the show lives now
Dudes Chatting — stoner movies, Kanye, and the art-vs-artist question: Sonny advises liberals to separate the artist from the art, using Kanye's Trump tweets as the occasion. JVL makes a moral case against the stoner comedy genre specifically: it treats drug use as harmless and funny when drug enforcement laws devastate minority communities, making stoner movies a form of class privilege dressed up as transgression. The gang debates the canon (Dazed and Confused, The Big Lebowski, This Is the End) and whether any of them survive JVL's objection.
Reviews: Gene (Vic) reviews Super Troopers 2 — two stars normally, five stars under altered conditions (with a Stan Lee puns joke). Sonny reviews Super Troopers 2 — funny and dumb in the same episodic way as the original; Will Sasso and Rob Lowe are highlights; the Canadian jokes land; some unexpected male nudity.
Box Office: A Quiet Place returns to #1 with $22M; Rampage drops to #2; Super Troopers 2 debuts at #4 with $14.7M, notable for being crowdfunded.
Vic opens with an update on his Reduced Gluttony diet (currently 176.5 lbs), and JVL received an exotic jerky subscription box from a friend. The Corrections segment closes out with listener shoutouts.
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00Now, what is so damn funny? I could've sworn you said meow. Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumping around all nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree? No, no. Am I drinking milk from a saucer? Well, do you see me eating mice? Hey, you stop laughing right meow.
Vic00:00:30Hello, and welcome to another edition of The Substandard, sponsored by Casper Mattress. I'm Victor Matus along with Sonny Bunch and Jonathan V. Last. I'd like to remind you The Substandard is available on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher. Just look on our podcast and search for Substandard. You'll easily find us. Please subscribe, tell your friends, and leave a review. By the way, I'm just going to completely ad lib here. A listener friend of ours, of mine, Marina Pavlova, Dr. Pavlova, a wonderful woman who's married to my wife's cousin. She's Russian, and she tried listening to the podcast, and she said, "I need to speak slower." My thought is maybe it's her Russian. Am I speaking too fast?
Sonny00:01:13I would say that you are speaking at a normal pace, but I've also known you for like 15 years, so it's hard to say. I may have just grown accustomed.
JVL00:01:23I don't even need you to form words with your mouth to know what you're saying.
Vic00:01:26Oftentimes, we just communicate telepathically. It's like we're cosmic twins. Go back to Russia. Do you remember?
JVL00:01:32Yes.
Vic00:01:33Do you remember? Yes, I do. See? We didn't even finish it. The funny thing is you actually do know what I'm about to say. It was a David Frum piece. Yes! Watch this. Jonathan's not even going to respond. He's not even writing anything or signaling me. I'm just talking to the microphone right now. Jonathan was going to bring up about 20 some odd years ago. Yeah, 20 years ago. Jonathan was fact checking, and I was John Podhortz's assistant. And it was a story by David Frum about the funeral of Princess Diana, and it had to do with whether or not Elton John was in fact performing above Jane Austen's grave. And we were looking for Jane Austen's grave. Was that the story? Yup. And you were in Jody's office? Yes. Jane Orlinger's office. Well, they were both. It was the same office. It used to be J's, and it became Jody's.
Sonny00:02:27Holy . This is the worst story that has ever been told. This is the worst story that's ever been told.
JVL00:02:31Not to us. Not to us. And you were in there looking at a book. I was in there.
Vic00:02:35And we both simultaneously ... Simultaneously. And I hadn't said to him what I was going to do, and he hadn't said to him what I was going to do, and then that's how we knew we were destined for each other. Okay. So JVL, on that note, how are you?
JVL00:02:47I'm fine. I have a little story for you guys about gender differences. Oh boy. Here we go. Which some people say are social constructs. I'm Ron Burgundy.
Sonny00:02:59No? I understand the reference that you're making.
JVL00:03:04Go for it. So over the weekend ...
Sonny00:03:06Wait, were you looking at us to answer the ... Yes, I agree with your hypothetical rhetorical question.
JVL00:03:10Yes. That some people consider them social constructs. Yes. So over the weekend, I had two notes from small child sports. In the first, my son, I'm going to tell the redacted version of this story, was on third base, and a short grounder was hit dribbling. He was dribbling up the third base line. He took a very aggressive base running stance and tried to go for home. The catcher stepped out to wait for the ball and obstructed the plate, and my son lowered his shoulder and basically dump trucked the kid. I posit this against the story of a friend of the family who was playing softball, same age, same day. Same gender? Different gender. Had a daughter. Girl. She's playing softball, and she is playing at third base, and there's a runner on second. The ball was hit to the infield. Somebody picked it up and threw it to her at third base. It went into her glove, but then popped out of it. And the base runner coming toward her stopped, picked up the ball, and handed it to her.
Vic00:04:17Oh, how sweet.
Sonny00:04:20You're shaking your head, Sonny. That little kid gets no ice cream. That little kid gets no dinner.
JVL00:04:27There may, in fact, be innate differences between girls and boys. Just going to posit that. Thank you.
Sonny00:04:34We'll have to see if science can— Or maybe your son has been raised in a culture of toxic masculinity. Have you thought about that?
JVL00:04:39Well, that's—anybody who knows me knows exactly how butch I am.
Sonny00:04:42I'm just bringing this up for whenever Media Matters goes through our podcast archives to destroy us whenever we get a real job somewhere. They'll know that I, Sonny Bunch, have the proper views on these things. I'm not like some Kevin Williamson. I'm not going around. Kevin Williamson's calling for lynching on everyone that's not me.
Vic00:05:00And I myself know nothing about toxic masculinity. By the way, I was on third base last night. Oh! I was also alone. Anyway. And cooking. And cooking. For your wife. With an apron. Nothing else. Okay. Because that's what they always say. Yeah. So that was a— That is interesting. That is a difference between boys and girls. That's very interesting. Yeah. No. No. No. Much more polite, I think. I've been going through this trying to lose weight. Slower. What? Slower. Slower. Thank you, Marina. We'll appreciate that. I've been trying to lose weight, as you know.
JVL00:05:33Wait. I'm sorry.
Vic00:05:35Post-Easter, you've stayed away from gluttony? I'm still reduced my carbs. Reduced gluttony?
JVL00:05:40In general, yeah. I like— Yeah. Is that the name of the program you're on? Yes.
Vic00:05:45The Reduced Gluttony Diet? Some do keto. Some do paleo. South Beach. South Beach.
Sonny00:05:50And I do reduced gluttony. But you do RG.
JVL00:05:52RG.
Sonny00:05:53I do RG. Reduced Gluttony. We should start that.
JVL00:05:56RG. You just gorge a little less at each meal. Eventually, you stabilize.
Sonny00:05:58You get a slice of the pie. Eventually, you stabilize. You get a pizza pie. You don't lose the weight. You just stop putting on more.
Vic00:06:03No. That's right. You get a pizza pie. You don't have to eat the whole pie. Save a slice for tomorrow morning.
Sonny00:06:08That's usually what I do.
Vic00:06:09Or like midnight. Or a snack. Or like a snack. Midnight. Yes. So when I was at the doctor's, they weighed me. And I'm like, I don't know. My driver's license says 5'9", but honestly, I'm like 5'8". I'm like Tom Cruise. I'm a little taller than Tom Cruise, I think. Anyway, they said I was 184. But this morning, 176.5. 176.8. So it's happening. Yeah. It is happening. But you know what got me depressed was the other day, I noticed one of our colleagues, Sonny, in the office, Justin, you know Justin Germany. I noticed him, and I saw him, and he has a beard and shoulder length hair, so I didn't really ... You don't really notice it, and I said, "Wait a minute. Have you lost weight?" He lost ... He looked like he was a big, burly guy. And he stopped, and this big smile comes on his face. He goes, "I lost 40 pounds." I'm like, "Are you dying?"
Sonny00:06:56I actually, I asked him, "Did you get a haircut?" A haircut? I was like, "Did you get a haircut?" Did you get a haircut or something? That's what I do to look smaller. I get a haircut. And he looked at me like he was angry. He was like, "No. I lost 40 pounds."
Vic00:07:07I was like, "Oh." 40 pounds. Good job, Justin. So I said, "What was your secret?" And he said ... Reduce gluttony. Yes. RG. Essentially. The RG. I'm on the RG, Vic. But he's on the ... Oh, no. Okay. Sonny just spilled his coffee. There's some tissue paper, and I think the show will still go on.
?00:07:26RG. We're back. Thank you. Yeah. Whew. Thank you.
Vic00:07:32Thrills, chills, and spills in the studio. So Justin says that he ... The secret to his thing was you don't block out something entirely per se. He's just reducing his overall caloric intake to less than 2,000 calories a day. He has cut back on the red meat. He loves wine. He doesn't drink almost any wine anymore. Which is also very sad. A lot of chicken, a lot of fish, tuna maybe once a week because of mercury, but a lot of the salmon, cod, everything else. And that was his secret.
JVL00:08:06JVL. So I had wanted to ... Not a question. Share.
Vic00:08:11Yes. Please.
JVL00:08:13How about you? How about you? So I mentioned last week that because all I do is eat animals anymore, I had a friend of the show, Tim, who sent me a box of jerky. Oh my gosh. But this is exotic jerky. Jerky. Jerky. Wild stampede. So we have boar, elk, bison, alligator, ostrich, kangaroo ... That is a real wild stampede. ... venison. Boys, would you like to try some jerky?
Vic00:08:41Sonny, you look a little scared. Sure. But I don't want to have to hear so much of the gnawing on the studio, so I won't ... I'll tell you what. I'm going to reach in ... This one is pork and antelope. Just grab that. This is grab bag. What am I ... Oh boy, I'm so scared here. What are you going to get? Give me something good. What's it going to be?
JVL00:08:58Ha! Pork and alligator. Oh, you got alligator. So that's a blend? Sure. I'm going to look for some bison, because I really want to try ... Oh, there's different
Vic00:09:06flavors, and ... I'm not really sure how to open this, so let me continue on here.
JVL00:09:11You know, there's ... Can I give this to you, Victorino, because it's duck, and I can't eat duck. Oh, this one's against your religion?
Sonny00:09:18Ducks are actually ... I actually like ducks.
JVL00:09:19How about lamb? Ducks are one of the few animals that I ... Oh, here's pheasant.
Vic00:09:24Geese.
JVL00:09:25You should eat geese. They're a plague. Canadian geese are a plague. Geese are a plague.
Vic00:09:29They're bad for the rest of the environment.
JVL00:09:30Briefly, about Slim Jims. Yeah. Because I was thinking about that this morning.
Vic00:09:33I love Slim Jim. I used to eat Slim Jims pretending I was smoking.
JVL00:09:36If I had to ask you to guess when ... What year the Slim Jim debuted ... Okay. Mm-hmm. What would you guess? I will say 1955. Sonny? I don't know.
Sonny00:09:49'48. 1929.
?00:09:51Wow!
JVL00:09:52And yet, to my knowledge, it's the same. To my mind, because this is ... I knew it was quite early, because Slim Jims used to be advertised in all of the old comics that I would read. Comic books, yeah.
Sonny00:10:04Absolutely.
JVL00:10:05And then grew to national prominence once they hired spokesman Randy Savage. Maybe the greatest spokesman non sequitur ever. Why is the Macho Man the spokesman for Slim Jim? I don't know. No, because he's macho. But it makes so much sense. Once you hear him say- Was he the original-
Vic00:10:22Snap into a Slim Jim. I was going to say, yeah. Ticket! Yeah, snap into a Slim Jim was his thing. I remember being at the ShopRite with my mother as a kid, and you'd always see it at the aisle, right? It's not like you go to the main aisle. It's like the register. The register.
JVL00:10:36You're an impulse item.
Vic00:10:37Yeah, impulse. And yet I never see anybody buy them. Do you? I've done it a couple times. So I looked at it, and I remember asking my mother, "Can I buy one?" My mother's like, "Yeah, sure." You know, whatever. She didn't know what it was. And I remember tasting it. She didn't know what it was? She didn't know. It's like, I drank wine coolers in high school because my mother didn't know there was any alcohol in it. She said that. So the Slim Jim, I remember saying how amazing it tasted, the smokiness. And that was the first time, I remember reading the back, because I always read stuff on food. And it was the first time I came across the word carcinogen. It really was. I was like, "What is that? Could that be that?" Was there asbestos in the Slim Jim? Just carcinogens. You know, it's like related to- Just general. Just general cancer causing- Yeah, just general cancer, because it's smoked. I think that's what happens. But there's kind of a ... You know what? It's now fashionable to eat beef jerky. Right? Is it? Yeah. I mean, it's very trendy. The Wall Street Journal did great pieces on this, and how everyone's ... Because it's a health thing. But I remember Slim Jim was never ... Before our Randy, Macho Man Savage, it was just not ... I didn't feel it was really respectable. And I remember when I lived in Vienna for a year, my mother sent me a care package, had a lot of popular things in it, like bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. All the kids loved it. And there was a box of Slim Jims, and I didn't tell anybody. I kept it under my bed, and I let one person know about it, this girl Deanna. And- Oh, boy. Yeah. Well, it turns out- Is this a euphemism? She wanted my Slim Jim. And it turns out- The Slim Jim you kept under your bed? She was a secret fan, too. And so from time to time, you'd get a nod- So you slipped her a Slim Jim? And she'd say, "Can I have a Slim Jim?" I said, "Come right in." I got the goods. Can I just have a meat stick?
JVL00:12:13Vic, could I have a stick full of meat, please?
Vic00:12:15I'm sweating. Please. I don't want to go there.
JVL00:12:18My wife loves- Vic, you have a stick of meat in your bed, don't you?
Vic00:12:20Oh, please.
?00:12:21My wife-
Vic00:12:22Okay. Well, let's just keep- Vic, how is your- Yes.
JVL00:12:26Vic, I'm sorry. Sonny, how is your alligator? Yeah. Is that alligator? No, I got the pork and antelope. Oh, antelope. How is the antelope? It's fine. Was it prancing along the plains before it was slaughtered? I hope so. For your enjoyment?
Sonny00:12:37I hope so. Good. I hope it had no- Actually, I go back and forth on whether or not I want them killed- To suffer? In the moment of happiness or to live their life on a terrible farm and then be consumed
Vic00:12:49by- Well, you know, it's like cage-free chickens, but as my mother- mother-in-law says, "I've seen those chickens roaming around. They're eating their own poop." That's true. But they taste so good. She's a sensitive, sensitive soul, your mother-in-law. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I will say one other thing, by the way, in terms of my RG regimen, right? Yeah. I've also been going to the gym. About how many calories per day would you say you're at? I don't know. Three, 4,000 maybe. I'm not sure. No. Okay. So I've been going to the gym. I go to the gym twice a week and I run three times a week and then I was like, "Oh, there was an article." It was in the Washington Post about how spot reduction does not work. People are like, "Oh, I got to get rid of my gut. Let me do crunches." I knew that, right? But they had an interesting aside about how you shouldn't focus so much on just let's say I like to go bench press and curls and things but the older you get, your back muscles and your leg muscles, all very important and also because they burn calories equally. Fat cells are distributed and you can't do spot reduction but one thing that disturbed me in that article. They said if you focus too much on your front muscles, you'll have what is called, quote, the caveman look which is I guess you have no back and then all of a sudden, just everything is front loaded. So if you go to the gym, I'm sure your gyms are like this, they have mirrors. There's mirrors everywhere. If I'm looking at myself in the front, I'm like, "Yeah, this is good. I'm looking good. I'm losing weight." And then Sonny put his hand on his head and then you glance at the side mirror and I don't often look at my profile of myself. Who does that? So I looked at my profile. I'm like, "Oh my gosh. I'm turning into caveman." So that's what's been bothering me but I'm working on it. Things are getting better.
JVL00:14:30Why are you doing-
Vic00:14:31More like Peking Man really.
JVL00:14:32Why aren't you doing the like CrossFit style, just nothing but burpees? Too crazy. Burpees and lifting tires and stuff like that. Shouldn't that be what you're doing?
Vic00:14:42I showed her because it's a whole body workout. It is a whole body workout and I know a guy who does that and is a trainer and competes and the great thing is you're in great shape. Just all you do is talk about it.
JVL00:14:55But I've seen the commercial for the Michelob Ultra and they all look so happy and they're amazing. You have to drink Michelob Ultra. They're all different ages and then they go running together and do burpees together. They have old people. They have old people like me. They stand in circles applauding and then they go and have Michelob Ultra to celebrate.
Vic00:15:11It looks really fun. That's what I would do and then I'd take Celebrex.
JVL00:15:13Also, none of them have children.
Vic00:15:15Oh yeah, of course. No, they're happy. They're happy. It's just like when I walk up 14th Street with all the bars and restaurants, everybody's happy. Sonny, how are you?
Sonny00:15:23I'm great. I didn't go to the gym or anything. How are your shoes? They're good. I'm thinking about getting a second pair of shoe trees because I found that part of the shoe polishing process, you want to let the polish sink in. Yeah. So you got to leave a little time, but that's just a lot of dead time. So if I have two shoe trees, I can polish both shoes at once and by the time I'm done with the last shoe, the first shoe will almost be done resting.
Vic00:15:46I can give you my shoe trees. You want my shoe trees?
JVL00:15:49Yeah. But don't you want all unworn shoes- Residing in shoe trees? You stole shoe ... I'm sorry, hold on. You stole shoe trees from the St. Regis?
Vic00:15:58When you get your shoes polished, you open your door the next morning and there it is in a little pouch in a bag and they put shoe trees inside. What does it have to do with those things?
JVL00:16:06Cedar shoe trees. What? Cedar shoe trees.
Vic00:16:09No. Those are nice. No. These are like plastic metal. Oh, I don't want your trash-
Sonny00:16:15No. Disposable shoe trees. Are they disposable? What?
JVL00:16:19Those are disposable. They have to be cedar. Do I look like a homeless person? No. You're not right. You're with me, Sonny. Here's a question. For the front portion of the shoe trees, do you like the kind that is solid wood or that is split so that it expands slightly when fitted into the shoe?
Sonny00:16:36I think the ones I have are solid.
JVL00:16:39Now, do you like keeping all unworn shoes in shoe trees whenever unworn? No. I don't do that. Why not?
Sonny00:16:48I don't do that. That's how you increase the life of your shoes. That's exactly why. I probably should, but this is the problem. Again, I only have one shoe tree. I only have one pair of shoes with my shoes. How much do they cost? They were like $30. Yeah. It's not cheap. Yeah, you should get more. I should probably get one more. I do think if I get one more pair of shoe trees, I'll finally be happy. It can get better. I'll finally have achieved personal happiness with one more pair of shoe trees. I can order it and watch the package come on Amazon. Did you see that Amazon now lets you watch the package as it's being delivered? No. What did Lord Bezos do now? I don't understand. Have you ever used the Amazon Instant or Amazon Now, Amazon Prime Now, where you get something delivered to your house in two hours? No. Or have you ever used their food service? You get food delivered to your house in two hours. I don't live in a place where they can do that. When you use these amazing services, there's a little ... You can actually watch the delivery truck as it comes, like it's on a map. They have done this now for all of their packages.
JVL00:17:42Amazing.
Sonny00:17:43Oh. All of their packages.
JVL00:17:46You could start with something being delivered from China and watch the ship cross the Pacific Ocean.
Sonny00:17:52I don't know about that. I don't know about that. But I did order ... I just ordered this ... I ordered a HDMI to Thunderbolt cable for my laptop so I can plug it into my TV. Can you explain that to Vic? Almost entirely. It's magic. Yes. I ordered a Harry Potter thing.
Vic00:18:07It's wires. Tubes. It's a connection.
Sonny00:18:10What is a tube? It's a series of tubes. But anyway, I basically ordered this. I mean, I ordered the cable because I kind of wanted ... As an important Rotten Tomatoes certified film critic, I get a lot of screeners that are just links to things, and I tire of watching them on my television. I need a little laptop. I want to watch them on the big screen. So anyway, this is a thing that I'm excited to track.
JVL00:18:29Can you Thunderbolt that right to your phone?
Sonny00:18:32Well, no, because it's an HDMI. It's like a ... But could you go HDMI to Thunderbolt to Lightning? I don't know. Into your phone.
JVL00:18:42Probably.
Sonny00:18:43I assume so. So that you could watch them as the filmmakers intended. On my phone? Yes. Well, I guess I could do that, but I haven't actually looked into it. I don't know.
JVL00:18:51I mean, I'm just thinking, as your duty to the Rotten Tomatoes ... Rotten Tomatoes audience, you probably should watch them in as close to the ... Probably should. The natural environment as possible.
Sonny00:18:58So watch them in portrait mode? Yes. Watch it portrait mode, but widescreen. Yes. Yes.
Vic00:19:05Right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'll do that.
Sonny00:19:10Now, Sonny, you were reading something this morning that caught your attention. What's going on there? Oh, great. Yeah. Yeah. There was a fantastic piece in The Ringer about their music critic was very, very concerned about Kanye West maybe supporting Trump, kind of, or basically probably just trolling everyone. And I was really fascinated reading this piece because it's like, this is like everyday life for a conservative is like, here's an artist who I enjoy ... The story of our life from the very beginning. Here's an artist who I enjoy telling me that my life is bad and my political choices are corrupt and blah, blah, blah. That's right. And you know what? I feel I have a lot of sympathy. I have a lot of sympathy for these guys. So I wanted to offer a few tips, a few pointers on how to get over it. Go for it. The first is to remember that none of this matters. Absolutely none of this ... It doesn't matter who the artist is voting for. It doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. It makes no difference. The art is the art. It's there on the screen or on the disc or on the MP3 or on the book or in the page or whatever. And the art is totally separate from the artist. It doesn't matter. And that's my only piece of advice. Get over yourselves. I mean, honestly, just get over yourselves.
JVL00:20:14But what if the artist is Hitler?
Sonny00:20:17What if the artist is Hitler? Well, you know Hitler was a painter.
JVL00:20:19Could you then like a painting that was by Hitler?
Sonny00:20:21A lot of people ... A lot of people collect ... A lot of people collect Hitler paintings. Are they bad people? Who's to say? Anybody you know?
Vic00:20:27Does anybody you know know? I was thinking I think I know somebody who might, but I'm afraid to ask. Anyway, this is a problem. You're absolutely right. And it's so funny when you talk to certain people and they're not accustomed to this because they assume that the other person, the person they admire for whatever talent, skill, whatever it is they do, that it's top to bottom. Everything about the person right down to the soul is inherently the same as them. Right. I was at some conference out in Italy years ago, hanging out with this guy. At Lake Como. Yeah, it was Lake Como. That's true. The first time. Not the second trip.
JVL00:21:03The first trip to Lake Como.
Vic00:21:04I remember who was there, too.
JVL00:21:05Who was there? Not going to say it on air.
Vic00:21:07Oh, yeah. That's right. She was there. I know that. See? Yeah, that's right. Psychic connection.
JVL00:21:14Psychic connection. And then I think she was ... Never mind.
Vic00:21:16Sorry. We don't mean to feel excluded, Sonny. I know. We're totally turning Sonny off here. Anyway, and we were having this conversation. And this guy was actually joking. Jem Ozdemir, who's now the chairman of the Green Party in Germany. But we were talking about The Simpsons, and I said to him, "Yeah, you know who else likes The Simpsons? John Ashcroft, apparently, watches The Simpsons. He got turned on to it." And I remember Jem said, "Oh, no. Now I can't watch The Simpsons." That's crazy.
Sonny00:21:38But they were not ... That's their world. It's such a weird ... It is a very weird and interesting form of privilege to go through life assuming that all of your heroes agree with you on stuff. I'm actually ... I'm kind of fascinated by it. It's a totally blinkered way to go through life, but you know, good for them.
Vic00:21:58Yeah.
Sonny00:21:59Lucky them.
JVL00:22:00That's an epic little troll line, Sonny. What's that? Thank you. The privilege. I see what you did there.
Vic00:22:07I don't know what you're talking about. I-S-W-Y-D-T. Sonny and Jonathan, I was going to say, and there are people obviously on the right who do this too. Of course. No. I'm not going to watch his stuff because he doesn't, whatever, or she doesn't, whatever, but what is ... Are you related to any of them? No comment. The point is ... The point is, how dare you? The point is, what is the alternative? The alternative is nothing. The alternative is that you are away from all sorts of media, movies, TV, and you're stuck in silence.
JVL00:22:33Gary Sinise movies all the way down.
Vic00:22:35The Gary Sinise movies, which means nothing ... Adam Sandler movies. Yeah, which means nothing at the moment, and you're stuck in a quiet place. Speaking of which, over the weekend, Quiet Place snuck back into the top spot at the box office with $22 million, followed by Rampage, which slipped to $21 million, and I feel pretty with $16 million. In fourth place was Super Troopers 2 with a modest but pretty ... Considering it's Super Troopers, pretty impressive, $14.7 million.
Sonny00:23:09Did way better than expectations. Right? Did triple expectations.
Vic00:23:12I'm considering the original Super Troopers was when?
Sonny00:23:14The original one came out in 2001 or 2002, I think. Yeah. This is like a sequel ...
JVL00:23:19People have been clamoring for a sequel for 20 years, decades in the making.
Sonny00:23:22Yeah. You guys laugh, and it's obviously kind of true, but there are some interesting little things here. I mean, this was a crowdfunded picture. This was J. Sandra Scheichar, who's the director and kind of the unofficial head of the Broken Lizard Troupe, went out there and raised, I don't know, four or five million bucks from people. Wow. That's enough for that kind of a movie. I think it was the second best crowdfunded for a film in history, but I might be wrong on that. But it was interesting because while they were doing this, he actually wrote a piece for The Daily Beast talking about how he wished they could actually just sell shares in the film.
JVL00:24:02Yeah.
Sonny00:24:03So they could sell, you could buy a point for 10,000 bucks or whatever, or 100,000 bucks. Now, because of Hollywood accounting, this would be a black hole of money that people would be throwing their dollars into. You can do that if you're a rube. Yeah. I mean, this is ... But the idea ... The idea is at least kind of an interesting and sound one. The problem is that Hollywood is a bad place, and I would not accuse the ...
JVL00:24:29You could get one point of the net profits.
Sonny00:24:31Right. Exactly. The net profits. And this is why, frankly, you can't do it. This is one of the reasons why the government has been like, "Yeah, you can't just sell percentage points of your films because you're all sharks and shysters." So I'm sympathetic to that, but it's interesting. But the movie did huge, huge business on home video. I mean, it made $50 million, $60 million, $70 million, something like that in the intervening years on home video because people liked to watch this at home and with their friends. They would sit around and get drunk and get high and throw it on and laugh and giggle, and everyone would have a good time. This is how I became accustomed with Super Troopers. It came out in DVD while I was in college, and I would say that I consumed no fewer than 1,000 gallons. 1,000 gallons of malt liquor while watching this movie. Among other substances. I was never really a pothead, so that wasn't me. I was just a drunk. So you saw Super Troopers 2?
Vic00:25:33I did. Good. So did I. Oh, yeah? Maybe somebody else did. JBL, did you see it?
JVL00:25:39I did not. Did three of us, though?
Vic00:25:42Maybe three of us did. He was kind of on the fence. He didn't know what to make of it.
JVL00:25:46Did he get very hungry during the screening and had to step out?
Vic00:25:49It was a bit of a haze for him, but maybe he has a few words. Super Troopers 2 follows the antics of ex-Fermont Keystone cops. More like Keystoned. Talk about hijinks. They really make a hash out of things. What I'm trying to say here is there are a lot of drugs in this movie. And psych gags. If the humor were any lower brow, it'd be my mustache. But it does have the exotic Emanuel Shrieky. I'd like to give her the merguez, if you know what I mean. She's half Moroccan. Anyway, I give Super Troopers 2 two stars and five stars if you're high as a kite. But what's really been bothering me are these allegations against Stan Lee. Can I talk about that, Jonathan, Sonny? Gene, please. Tell me more. So, a masseuse has been complaining that he put the moves on her. Talk about getting rubbed the wrong way. But Stan Lee is 95, so I can't imagine he's anything to marvel at. If it's true, somebody ought to straighten him out. But I guess that's what he was hoping for. And those are my two cents. Excelsior.
?00:27:03Wow.
JVL00:27:05Gene.
Sonny00:27:05Wait, so I had just barely caught the headline on the Stan Lee story. It's a masseuse from 2017 said that he propositioned her.
Vic00:27:14Well, yeah, and he told her to get back. She refused. She wanted to stop the massage, as it were, because he was aroused. And then he came after her. And then, you know, grabbed her hand. She claims he's 95. Yeah. He's 95.
Sonny00:27:27Very fast. I have to. I have to. I got to be honest. I was like, well, I don't know. You know. I mean, give him a pass.
Vic00:27:36Does he even know what he was doing? Does he even know what he was doing? Does he even know what he was doing? 95.
Sonny00:27:40I mean, there's stories about how, like, his daughter is trying to steal all his money and, like, changing his will. So how about, do you want to give a real review? I mean, there's no real point in doing a review of this movie. I mean, the. Just a quick plot. I mean, this is why there's.
JVL00:27:55How is the mise-en-scene?
Vic00:27:56This is why there's no real point in doing a review is because.
Sonny00:28:03The second act is a little slow, isn't it? There's no real plot. So, like, it's just a series of jokes. This is very much like the first film. It's about a bunch of. Yes, I see the screensaver is on.
Vic00:28:17Jesus Christ. Does it stop? No, it doesn't stop. Okay. Just asking.
Sonny00:28:22Look, it's still going. Oh, thank God.
Vic00:28:26Thank God. I was really worried.
Sonny00:28:33Anyway, much like this episode. Much like this episode of The Substandard, it was very episodic and kind of all over the place. Disjointed? Disjointed. Oh, gene number two over there. But I will be honest. I found it amusing. Because I like these characters, I find them amusing. And I was not high or drunk this time in the theater. Unlike some of the audience members who I saw it with. Did you smell? I'm sitting there, and the movie's about to start. And two women walk in and sit maybe, I don't know, like 10 seats away from me. Like kind of back and to the right. And this one woman just shouts, it smells like soup in here. I was like, what is going on? It didn't smell like soup. Soup, narrator says, it does not smell like soup.
Vic00:29:28That's like Creed in The Office. Remember that when Michael Scott's buddy leaves, he goes to the bathroom in his office and leaves that package. Creed walks in and goes, did somebody make soup? Yeah.
Sonny00:29:41Soup, all right. So anyway, I enjoyed it. It's funny. It's dumb. It's about a bunch of Vermont state troopers who end up having to do police work in a Canadian town due to a border snafu. There's a lot of aboot jokes. Let me try that again. There's a lot of aboot jokes and a lot of-
Vic00:30:04A lot of Canadian, a lot of overweight, crazy, crazy Canadian.
Sonny00:30:08A lot of crazy Canadian action. There's a great scene in a brothel. It's a male and female brothel. Are brothels legal in Canada? I don't actually, this is a thing I wasn't-
Vic00:30:17I guess they are. I mean, I don't know. They wouldn't make the joke if that wasn't, right? They wouldn't make the joke if that wasn't true. I mean, the strip clubs are a lot more, from what I hear, a lot more open about everything, but I assume that there's some sort of, they have licenses and things like that. There was also, there was a frontal scene, too, a frontal shot of a dude.
Sonny00:30:37Yeah. There's definitely some male frontal nudity in this. Between this and Westworld, there was some male frontal nudity on the first episode of Westworld this year. I think we need to put a kibosh on this whole male nudity thing. We got the point, so to speak. Look, I got to be honest with you. Naked men are disgusting. And I'm not saying this solely because I am, you know, the male gaze. Oh, yeah. You know, and that sort of gaze, G-A-Z-E, Vic, the male gaze. You know, just because I have that, it doesn't change the fact that women are attractive and men aren't. So stop it with the male nudity.
Vic00:31:10I find it interesting that this is a particular ensemble cast. The way Chris Guest has an ensemble cast and Jay Chandrasekhar has this cast. Yeah, the Broken Lizard guys. The Broken Lizard guys. They have a bunch of movies. Is everybody's favorite. Farva, is that just understood? Well, he's the only... Kevin Heffernan.
Sonny00:31:25Is it Kevin Heffernan? Kevin Heffernan. I don't know that he's everyone's favorite, but he is like the most unique of them. The other four are all kind of interchangeable. Yeah, that's right. They're all just kind of... But Farva has his own like personality and he's ridiculous. And I would say he is, I don't know. Again, he's like kind of the butt of all the jokes. So I don't know if he's everyone's favorite, but...
Vic00:31:46And I always wanted to know, how did, of all people, Brian Cox get roped into this, even in the first Super Troopers and the... Second, this is a guy who does Shakespeare. I mean, this is crazy. And here he is doing this thing.
Sonny00:31:57I mean, I assume it's like all the other British actors, right? It's a work and they do their... They take their job seriously. So they do it and they do a good job and they, you know...
Vic00:32:09Yeah. I was almost... It was a very sort of Trump era comedy in the sense that the theme was, you know, immigration and Canada, you know, and making a lot of jokes about Canadians. And Rob Lowe was great. Did you like Rob Lowe or was it over the... Over the top. Too ridiculous.
Sonny00:32:23He's fine. I mean, again, it's, you know... Yeah.
Vic00:32:26I will tell you what. You know who I thought was in this movie? And I was like, wow, that guy can really act. The very large Canadian Mountie, bald. I thought it was the guy who plays the mountain in Game of Thrones. No, it's not. It's Will Sasso.
Sonny00:32:38It's Will Sasso from MTV. I know. He's always been a big dude. I mean, he's always been a big dude. But he's funny. He just looked like a giant.
JVL00:32:44I, like... He's very funny.
Sonny00:32:46He's very talented, too. That bit with the three Canadians doing Danny DeVito was actually, like, one of the funniest bits in the movie. I mean, look, this is a movie that's hard to review because it's just, it's either funny or it isn't. You either like it or you don't. And if you don't like it, then it's not funny. It's not worth watching. I don't know.
Vic00:33:01Lots of movies...
Sonny00:33:03It reminds me a little bit of Animal House in the kind of, again, very episodic, very, you know...
Vic00:33:09Well, this is sort of a good segue, because there's a lot of movies that feature drug use, but not all of them are stoner flicks. How does one become a stoner flick? What determines that? What do you think?
Sonny00:33:20I mean, I think it's just the using. They're discussing drugs on screen. I mean, this is the Cheech and Chong movies, right? They're all about, like, it's, oh, God, these guys are high. That's funny. So let's be high when we watch it. Right. And so Super Troopers, like, other people are generally the ones who are high in this movie, but, you know, there's, like, it is still a movie that's very much around being in an altered state.
JVL00:33:41Mm-hmm.
Vic00:33:41Mm-hmm.
JVL00:33:43JVL, thoughts? Big Lebowski is sometimes considered a stoner movie. It's interesting.
Sonny00:33:47Yes. Well, I mean, I would say...
JVL00:33:49Is that just the exception of the rule here? Well, I don't... What do you mean? That to be a stoner movie, it has to be about doing drugs on screen.
Sonny00:33:59Jeffrey Lebowski spends the whole movie smoking weed.
Vic00:34:03Does he?
Sonny00:34:04Yes.
Vic00:34:04He's always high. And drinking white Russians. He's always high in drugs. I guess I don't realize the... He's always rolling... Those were cigarettes. Those were not cigarettes.
Sonny00:34:12Those were marijuana cigarettes, Jonathan.
JVL00:34:16Okay.
Vic00:34:17Yeah. Do you have any thoughts on other stoner flicks? I mean, you don't have a ranking. You don't have a ranking or anything like that. No, do you? Not really, although I'd say on the top of the list is Dazed and Confused. Yeah. A Richard Linklater movie.
Sonny00:34:29Yeah, I mean, Dazed and Confused... And a lot of these movies kind of transcend stoner flick status. They do. They do.
Vic00:34:34There's more about it as a generation thing.
Sonny00:34:35Dazed and Confused is more of an Altman-type movie than a... I mean, it's shorter than an Altman-type movie, which means it's better. But it is an Altman or Paul Thomas Anderson-type kind of like multiple character studies interwoven in one setting.
Vic00:34:52You know who loved that movie was Richard Starr, our colleague. Dazed and Confused? Yes, because I think that was his time, and I always picture him to be the Adam Goldberg character. Anyway.
JVL00:35:01Can I take us on a digression? Please. Or I don't know how much time we have.
Sonny00:35:06We have plenty of time. Do we want to do the... Are we going to do the ad read now or later? Oh, my goodness. Don't we have an ad read to do?
Vic00:35:15You're absolutely right, and I was following...
Sonny00:35:18Did you sleep on it?
Vic00:35:19I was. I was dozing off. You slept on it? Because I haven't been... Maybe I need a new mask. I need a new mattress. What's going on, JVL?
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Sonny00:37:52I don't know that one. What was that? Super High Me.
Vic00:37:55Like Super Size Me, but Super High Me.
Sonny00:37:58Yeah, Super High Me. Get it? Was it a documentary? I don't know. Dude, Where's My Car? That is actually a work of high cinema. I have a question. That is actually like a very funny and deep movie.
Vic00:38:10Did you ever review that movie for The Weekly Standard? Dude, Where's My Car? Yes. Was that before your time?
Sonny00:38:15It came out in like 2003, I think. Oh, okay. You weren't there?
Vic00:38:19The End. This is The End. Yes. Oh, yeah. That movie's great. I'll say this about This Is The End. Two great things. One, Danny McBride. Anything that Danny McBride is in, he's fantastic in. In this movie, the line that he says when they tell him that Michael Cera is dead, and he goes, well, it's not a total tragedy. And then, of course, the Emma Watson scenes. Yes, the Emma Watson scenes.
Sonny00:38:39Fantastic. I know. I figured you'd be a big fan of that.
Vic00:38:42Hey, Vic, did you see that Twitter thing? A little bit, but I didn't bother clicking on anything. I was too scared. You didn't look? Well, you got a lot of responses for that.
JVL00:38:52All right. Never mind, then. You got a lot of likes? You got a lot of likes. I won't bring it up. That's pretty funny, despite to say that a certain actress who was recently indicted or arrested for trying to procure people for a sex cult had tried to get Emma Watson involved in her sex cult. And I was wondering if they made a movie about that, in your mind.
Sonny00:39:12Did you see that she ... Who's the ... Grace Park from Battlestar Galactica was also involved in this. She was in the sex cult? I don't know. I don't know. Procuring for the sex cult? I don't know. I don't know.
Vic00:39:24As opposed to ... Not Tricia Helfer.
JVL00:39:28Not Tricia Helfer.
Vic00:39:28Who was the Ryan politician for Illinois? Not George Ryan? The other Ryan? Jerry Ryan. The other Ryan. Yeah, Jerry Ryan, who also ... Jerry Ryan was his wife. Her wife. Yes. She was in what? Star Trek? She was ... Voyager. Voyager. Voyager. Seven of nine. And it was her husband that tried to ... Nerd.
Sonny00:39:43I mean, I know a lot of things. You know everything.
JVL00:39:46The hottest Borg ever.
Sonny00:39:48Oh, I'm sorry. I know who the hot chick was on that one Star Trek movie. Star Trek show. Who was the ... There was a ... I mean, she's the only one. She's like the ... Except for ... Who was the Vulcan that was in Enterprise?
JVL00:40:01The captain was pretty hot.
Sonny00:40:02Janeway?
?00:40:03Yeah.
Vic00:40:06You know ... Grace. And Jerry Ryan's husband was trying to convince her to join. Was that? A club. A sex club.
JVL00:40:14That was a sex ... Not a sex cult, though.
Vic00:40:15Oh, it's not a cult. No, it's a club.
Sonny00:40:17He just took her to a BDSM joint.
Vic00:40:19What is the difference between a sex cult and a sex club? They meet more regularly? Probably the bylaws. Probably the bylaws. Do you remember our friend, I guess ... I won't mention his name. Where are you going with this? I won't mention his name, but he had a funny story about the urban legend. And I'm going to preface this by saying this is a rumor. This is not true, but the urban legend about the Hollywood orgy with Sammy Davis Jr. and Farrah Fawcett and Lee Majors. Remember that story? No. No? And he told us that Lee Majors punched Sammy Davis Jr. because he said the three words you're never supposed to say in an orgy, which is, I love you. Anyway. But that's an urban legend. Not true. Probably wouldn't happen. Not true. Okay. I guess we're going to have to ... Can I ...
Sonny00:41:05Are there any more high movies that you want to ... About the high things? Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Please. Yeah.
JVL00:41:11I hate stoner movies. I've always known this about you. And I don't just hate them as in like, hey, it's not my cup of tea, but I find them morally objectionable. And the reason is this. You sort of jokingly brought up privilege the other day. I don't think ...
Sonny00:41:32The other day being like 20 minutes ago? Oh, that's right. Remember, we're so used to ...
JVL00:41:35We don't have to pretend that it was ... This is Thursday. I don't care what your position is on the illegality of drugs or the drug war. I don't care if you are a libertarian who thinks it's all terrible, all travesty, or if you are anti-drug the way I am. The law is the law. It exists as a thing right now. And the law is, simply as an objective fact, applied very differently across different socioeconomic populations in the United States. And if you are a rich kid in a suburb of a wealthy town, you can get by on using drugs because of various reasons. Law enforcement is laxer with you. People cut you a break. People look at it as, oh, it's just ... You know, youthful indiscretions. You could become president because, like, hey, you know, you just smoked a little pot. Yet, if you grew up in different socioeconomic circumstances, you can have your life ruined for this. And it is the act of privilege that looks at this and says that, you know, hey, oh, no, look, for me and my people, it's just funny, man. It's funny while, you know, the antics that happen in a different socioeconomic circumstance in the city. The way especially minority kids get busted for this stuff. It's not funny at all. It is the law. And I find this stuff deeply morally offensive.
Sonny00:43:01So every movie should be boys in the hood then when it comes to drugs.
JVL00:43:05I wouldn't say that. But the idea that there's a whole subgenre. I mean, we don't have a whole subgenre about, like, murder being funny.
Sonny00:43:13Yeah, we do. Murder comedies?
JVL00:43:16What's Clue?
Sonny00:43:20Have you ever seen the movie Clue? I've seen the movie Clue. The movie Clue is a comedy about murder. Okay. I mean, is it a whole subgenre? Death of Stalin as a whole is a comedy about genocide. I mean, this idea that we don't make jokes about crimes is insane. But is an act of privilege in this case. Okay, fine.
JVL00:43:43And I find it offensive and I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like people who do drugs. I don't like any of this stuff. It's the law. The law is the law. You can't just pick. You can't even choose which laws you're going to respect and not.
Sonny00:43:55It's wrong.
JVL00:43:56If you use drugs, it should go on your permanent record. Yeah, apparently.
Sonny00:44:00And you shouldn't get into a good college. Yeah, we got Principal. Who's the principal from Ferris Bueller? Rooney. No, don't. Rooney. We got Rooney over here. Got, you know, Buzzkill. Captain Buzzkill. Yeah.
JVL00:44:11Okay.
Sonny00:44:12Well. If it makes you feel any better, I'm high right now.
Vic00:44:15Oh, that's why I spilled my drink. I thought you were on steroids because you're so angry. Okay. Let's move on. I think you were with me on this. Like, just 10 years ago, you were. What changed? I don't know what you're talking about. Listen, I ruptured my disc. I told you what happened with my back. Okay. Anyway. Are you on pain pills?
Sonny00:44:38Wait, no. This is a serious one. Do we need to have an intervention? No, no, no. Don't change the subject here. I'm not changing the subject. Do we need to get Kate in here? I believe. Do you need to see pictures of your children who you won't see when you're in prison?
Vic00:44:50You know, listen. I'm not actually changing the subject today. I believe it's the National Pill, what do you call it? The pill dump? The pill dump. Today is the pill dump. So, you know what? Everybody.
Sonny00:45:00A lot of junkies hanging around the trash cans.
Vic00:45:04I got rid of all my stuff. You know, you got Vicodin, Oxycontin, whatever it is. Viagra, Cialis, get rid of it now. How long does Percocet stay good for after it's expired? I don't think that.
Sonny00:45:15I am asking for a friend. Is that like a thing that, you know?
JVL00:45:20Do you know how pharmacology works? Like, these things don't stop working. What happens is the minimum effective dose changes, and so their level of effectiveness changes.
Sonny00:45:30So, I just have to take more of them?
JVL00:45:32Yes. There are only, like, really two classes of drugs that really stop working altogether. For most everything else, what happens is your effectiveness just diminishes over time, like a half-life.
Sonny00:45:40Which are the ones that stop working? I'm not going to enable you. Well, I mean, I'm saying it's not the pain ones, right?
JVL00:45:47No, you're fine.
Vic00:45:48Okay.
Sonny00:45:49I think we can move on.
Vic00:45:52Uh, corrections, additions, uh, Jonathan, Sonny, I got a couple things here. Okay.
JVL00:45:58I had something, but I forget what it was. You just keep talking, and I'll try to remember.
Vic00:46:01Uh, I'd like to give a special, two special shout-outs. One is to Substandard listener and friend Paul Yarabino, who I ran into the other day in our building, and he was telling me he was just up, uh, for a, a good, a mutual friend of ours, uh, whose mother had died, and he was at the funeral reception, and he said that at the reception, uh, I believe he managed to convince ten people to listen to The Substandard. So, you know, never waste an opportunity. You know, even at receptions, it's, you know, very thoughtful. Thank you, Paul, for that, and I hope everyone enjoyed this episode. And also, a special shout-out to Substandard listener Gabe Rossman, who sent me his old Xbox 360 game, Batman Arkham City.
JVL00:46:43Well, that's a good one.
Vic00:46:44With bonus content, Harley Quinn's Revenge. Nice. Yeah. Congratulations.
JVL00:46:49Which rating is that? Is that the NC-17? No, T. Oh, it's just the T version.
Vic00:46:54It's just T. So, it's good. I gave it to Michael. The TA version? Teen adult? No, no. I think it just says T on it. Come on.
JVL00:47:01A little something for the effort there, Skip. I didn't, I actually zoned out.
Vic00:47:03He zoned out because he's on drugs.
Sonny00:47:05I'm too high right now.
Vic00:47:07His eyes, look at his eyes, they're classy.
Sonny00:47:09I spilled that, it's the first time I've spilled a drink in, what, two years of doing this show, almost? A year and a half? Mm-hmm. And this is, like, the first show where I haven't had, I actually have not had anything to drink. You didn't have a single drop. You brought the Irish honey in.
Vic00:47:21I did Bushmills because it's 9.30 in the morning.
Sonny00:47:23And I was just like, no, I can't do it.
Vic00:47:25No, he was having coffee. But anyway, thank you, Gabe Rossman. And I showed Michael, he was very excited. I said, but, you know, we don't play Xbox until the weekends. That's the rule. No Xbox during the week. Xbox during the weekend. Same thing with Brazzers, only on the weekend. Brazzers again.
Sonny00:47:40I really am, like, just hoping.
Vic00:47:42I don't even know what that is.
JVL00:47:43Vic is hoping a little member's pass from them.
Vic00:47:47Could you imagine if I got a hat and I could wear it around? That would be so shocking. You know, it would be great. Love you, you're sassy. Give him a hat. Oh, my gosh. I'm sweating over here. Okay. And finally, we have to mention on last episode that we were going to be part of the AEI Ricochet first ever podcast summit on May 10-11. Unfortunately, for logistical reasons, we cannot. But do check it out. Sonny, I know you'll be there with Wright and Ryder.
Sonny00:48:09Yeah, I'll be there with the Wright and Ryder crew. On Thursday night.
JVL00:48:12Oh, you can take any people who are friends of the show out to drinks.
Vic00:48:16Yes, there'll be a meetup afterwards. In fact, I'll be. Yeah, that'll be fun. I will be there in case something happens to Natalie Johnson. Sort of like wading in the wings.
Sonny00:48:25So what you're saying is you are going to be outside of the required 250-foot radius, but just near, nearby, just in case.
Vic00:48:33Radius? What radius are you talking about?
Sonny00:48:35I was thinking like in Showgirls. The RO. Remember?
Vic00:48:38Remember in Showgirls and she's just about to perform and then somebody like knees her, kneecaps her, and then, oh, then the understudy takes the lead. You know, that's what I'm like.
Sonny00:48:46Please don't talk about our female employees in relation to Showgirls. Sorry. Thank you. In case she gets laryngitis. Once again. I'm ready. Once again, media matters when you're pouring through this. That was Vic Mattis, not Sonny Bunch.
JVL00:48:59The good news is when they come hunting, they'll never be able to tell which one is you and
Vic00:49:03which is me.
JVL00:49:04They'll take both of you. Yeah, we're filling in together. It'll be like two identical twins, one of whom commits a crime and the other of whom has an alibi. Then you could be Selmy. You can create enough reasonable doubt. Look, I was to say, is it him or is it me? I don't know.
Vic00:49:16Okay, that's all. Right, JVL?
Sonny00:49:19Good point, Sonny.
Vic00:49:20That's all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, complaints, compliments, tweet us at Victorino Mattis at Sonny Bunch. At JV Last. Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes or Google Play. Just type in Substandard on our podcast and we're there. Leave a review, tell your friends. Until next time. I had two thoughts. One is everyone, you know, I think we finished at a little over 50 minutes. Next week is the big one, of course, because we're all seeing Avengers Infinity War. JVL, do you think you'll be able to see that?
JVL00:50:11When does it come out?
Vic00:50:12Today. Okay. Maybe. I don't want to.
JVL00:50:16Sonny's already seen it. How many? I did not read your review. How many? How many heroes does it have in it?
Sonny00:50:22Seven.
JVL00:50:22Because if it's under 15 heroes, I don't want to see it. But if they're able to slip a 16th hero into it, then I totally want to see it. Give me one spoiler. Let me ask you this.
Sonny00:50:32Is the wasp in it? No. Okay. No Ant-Man, no wasp.
Vic00:50:35Really?
Sonny00:50:36But there are infinity other heroes. There's about 7,000 other heroes. Well, that makes it better. Right. The more heroes you get, the better it is.
JVL00:50:43Because I recognize that reference from that other movie.
Sonny00:50:45I recognize those characters. I like those guys.
Vic00:50:47You know what? This is why I saw Cannonball Run and Cannonball Run 2. I just want to see it. I want to see people from other places all together. We were talking about ... Sorry, JV, are you going to say something? No, I just have something. Just come back to me before you sign out. Okay, good. The other ... I had a thought when we were talking about the National Pill Dump Day, and I had this funny memory of when we were kids. We all had to go down to the basement at some point. There were all these drugs that had expired. They give you drug companies for my dad when he was a doctor. What did your dad do before eBay? 35 years ago.
Guest00:51:15Oh, come on. Before he D-bagged himself.
Vic00:51:18No, I said, what did your dad do before eBay? So, he said, we got to get rid of all these drugs and put them all in a bag or a receptacle too, and then some place takes it. But we all had to ... But a lot of these places- You don't flush them? No, you're not supposed to do ... The fish would be all hot. There's a special container. But he recruited the entire family. So, there was the whole family, and all popping these pills out of these containers. And sometimes, the capsules would break, and you'd have drugs everywhere. Angel dust.
JVL00:51:49It was angel dust. Yes, angel dust. So, just minutes ago, literally two minutes ago, it says on my email, I got an email, and my kid's a little leaked in. I'm being given the call. One of the coaches is not going to be able to be there tonight, to the big game. And so, I'm being brought in. Third base coach. And I think they're going to put me at third. Third base coach. That's the important base. I love that. I did that once. It's exciting. Which means that I can do ... Basically, whatever I want. And so, I can give these kids signs. Signs. And then, if they don't take the signs, I can berate them. And I can ... So, here's my question. As I am preparing for this, should my role model be Serena Williams' dad or Andre Agassi's dad?
Vic00:52:42Oh, no. What's the other? Mary Pierce's dad.
Sonny00:52:50I think you should do ... There's got to be a crazy baseball dad. How are there no crazy baseball dads? I still think the closest analogy for you is Marinovich, right? Kind of. The Marinovich family. I think that is what you need to go with. So, whatever that guy was like, that's who you should be.
JVL00:53:09So, I'm sure it's fine.
?00:53:14Okay.
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