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#86. The Substandard on 'Darkest Hour', Gary Oldman, and Watches
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Dudes Chatting — Darkest Hour, Gary Oldman, and watches: The episode opens with an extended detour into horology: JVL received an Omega Seamaster Coaxial as an anniversary gift and the hosts go deep on mechanical watches. The main conversation centers on Darkest Hour: Sonny appreciated Gary Oldman's towering performance but found the film itself competent rather than great, likening it to a "well-done PBS docudrama." JVL is the most critical, arguing that the true story of Churchill's political triumph in May 1940 is "impossibly cinematic" on its own terms and that the film wastes it by delivering a TV movie dressed up with one great performance; he also singles out the London Underground scene as dramatically false. Vic liked it until that same Underground moment. All three agree Dunkirk is the superior film about the same week of history. The Gary Oldman career-favorites discussion follows: Sonny picks Darkest Hour itself alongside The Professional and Zorg from The Fifth Element; JVL goes with Air Force One and Sirius Black. Sonny recounts walking out of a Benicio Del Toro press interview about Che in disgust. Gene/Vic gives Darkest Hour four stars with a running dictation-innuendo gag.
Box Office: Coco leads at $18M, Justice League hangs on at $9.5M, Wonder and The Disaster Artist follow; Darkest Hour is in limited release in just 53 theaters.
Spirit of the Week: Johnnie Walker Black (Diageo).
Full transcript
Vic00:00:00Hello, and welcome back to another edition of The Substandard, sponsored by Quip. I'm Victor Matus along with Sonny Bunch and Jonathan V. Last. I'd like to remind you The Substandard is available on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher. Just look at our podcasts and search for Substandard. We're there. You'll easily find us. Please subscribe. Tell your friends. Leave a review. Gentlemen, how are we? I'm great. Great. JVL, how are you doing? Fantastic. Tell us about it. What's going on?
JVL00:00:49I, as people who watched our Facebook Live when we sat down on Tuesday- Two days ago. Two days ago. Two days ago to tape. My wife, who is a... Just a lovely, lovely woman, and a saint, to put up with me, got me the best anniversary present ever. Which is? We had our 15th anniversary, and she got me my dream watch, the watch that I have been coveting for 20 years.
Vic00:01:11Omega Seamaster.
Sonny00:01:12Can you say what it is for the people, so they know? What kind of watch is it? It's an Omega- You just said watch.
JVL00:01:19I mean- It's an Omega Seamaster. Okay. Coaxial movement. It is fantastic. Question.
Sonny00:01:25Yes. How is this better than a swatch?
JVL00:01:27How is it better than a Casio? I'm not going to rise to the bait.
Guest00:01:38Question.
Sonny00:01:40How is it better than, you know those Timex watches that have the little start and stop thing on them that you wore when you were 13? How is it better than that?
JVL00:01:49I'm not going to rise to the bait. I will let my buddy Jason O'Connell take on these questions. In the Twitter universe. So look, there is something unbelievably romantic and wonderful about having strapped to your wrist a mechanical creation, which is using technology that is essentially 140 years old to achieve the same level of time telling accuracy as the things which require satellites and electricity and all of that. This entire thing functions purely on mechanics. Question. It's just a spring. Question.
Sonny00:02:33Question. And an escapement. Question. When the EMP goes off, will that still work? Uh-huh. Yes. Wow, that's like magic.
Vic00:02:40It is. No, so no batteries, much like my watch. It's a... What, no batteries? Right, like your... Yes.
JVL00:02:46Wait, do you have to wind it? This is what an automatic is. No, this is what an automatic is.
Sonny00:02:49Do you not understand motion? No, I clearly don't understand. Is it... Does it... There are two...
?00:02:54Question.
Sonny00:02:55Question. Does it... Is it like a perpetual motion device? Yes. Does the second hand wind the rest of the watch so it works forever?
JVL00:03:02No, you wind the watch simply by living, and if you were to die and thus stop moving... Then it stops. ...then 44 hours later... Yes. ...it would stop.
Vic00:03:13That's how long it goes on. But as long as you're alive... It'll keep on ticking if you don't have it on... Question.
Sonny00:03:17...for a day or two. Question. Uh-huh. If you just take it off and put it on a shelf for 44 hours, will it stop?
JVL00:03:21At the end of 44 hours, yes.
Sonny00:03:23But then...
?00:03:24So...
Sonny00:03:25Okay. Uh-huh.
JVL00:03:27...do you really not understand how mechanical watches work? No. Okay.
Sonny00:03:36So... I literally... I mean, this is... All right.
JVL00:03:40So I've been trolling with the swatch questions and stuff.
Sonny00:03:41But this is real. But there was a very real truth to the trolling question, which is I don't actually understand why... What makes this watch special.
JVL00:03:46So an automatic watch, there are two... When you get into the world of mechanical watches, there are two kinds. There are hand winding and automatic. The hand winding watches are watches that... The Amiga Speedmaster, which is the only watch ever worn on the moon, that you wind by hand each day. And those are lovely, because it gives you a personal, physical connection to the watch every morning. The moon. You mean the soundstage. It gives a physical connection to the watch and part of your... What's happening over here? I don't know. I hear something. Is everything okay? Please keep on talking. Is that the EMP? I'm gonna be able to tell time. I think it has just happened. Yes! This is my moment. Continue explaining. So, these are the backwatches, which have an escapement in them, which is a piece which swings around according to your motion, and its movement back and forth winds the mainspring. The mainspring is what creates the tension to drive all of the gears and to force the watch to tell time. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Anyway, and this is the coaxial escapement, which is proprietary to Amiga and is considered generally probably one of the two or three best movements in the history of... Of watchmaking. ...watchmaking. Wow. Yeah.
Sonny00:05:00Yeah. Sorry about the...
JVL00:05:02How many RAM is in it? Vic, how was your weekend? My weekend... It doesn't have a flash... Question! Does it have a flash drive?
Vic00:05:12Did you put your Christmas tree up, Vic? My weekend... Oh, the Christmas tree is about last week, we were talking about traveling Santa. Yes, Sonny. You really did it good. You had... He had it good. He had it good. It's unclear to me how much of it was impromptu or how much of it is thought out, because
Sonny00:05:26I mean, I just learned about this watch two days ago.
JVL00:05:29I've only got two days.
Sonny00:05:30I've only had two days to plot this out, so...
JVL00:05:33Come on, do you wanna wear it? Do you wanna feel what it feels like? I would let you wear it. Absolutely not. I would let you wear it. I don't wanna... No.
Vic00:05:41No, it's like having a car strapped to your wrist.
Sonny00:05:42It's fine.
Vic00:05:43It's heavy. It's heavy. Heavy. You know, Sonny, you would look... Based on your sartorial splendor...
JVL00:05:48Did she buy this new or is it used?
Sonny00:05:49You'd look good in a watch.
JVL00:05:50I don't... She did buy it new, but I would have been happy with a used one. Okay.
Sonny00:05:55What material is... Stainless steel.
JVL00:05:57What's the metal? The metal is steel, but the bezel, do you know what a bezel is, Sonny? Is it this part? Mm-hmm.
Vic00:06:05It's ceramic, so it's even harder than steel. Wow. So the Seamaster, when you go deep sea diving, that sort of a thing. Question.
Sonny00:06:14Question. Which is better, the Seamaster or the Beastmaster?
JVL00:06:20The real question is what is better, the Submariner or the Seamaster, which is a... A question which, if you want to start a fight in Watch World, you just sort of walk into a bar and say, "So, you know, I think the Submariner is better, or I think the Seamaster is better." And this is like the Yankees, Red Sox rivalry of watches. Among horologists. So I go to see my sister after we had our anniversary, and I go to eagerly show her my watch, and she says, "Oh, that's so cute. You get to have a semen attached to your wrist." It's not semen.
Sonny00:06:57I don't have semen on my wrist. It is a Seamaster. Well, you have a semen. You have one semen on your wrist.
JVL00:07:04Who is a Seamaster?
Vic00:07:06Vic, how was your weekend? Oh, my weekend was great. Welcome to dudes chatting. Dudes chatting about watches. Dudes chatting about watches. Which is even more... Watch the dudes chatting. This is not even Morning Zoom, man. It's worse than Morning Zoom. Good seven minutes. Good seven minutes. One star. One star. Watch talk. Unless you're into horology. So we talked about traveling... There are dozens of us. And so this weekend, the drama was Elf on the Shelf. You know Elf on the Shelf, JVL? Sonny, you probably don't know it yet.
Sonny00:07:34No, I'm pro-Elf on the Shelf because it's surveillance state. Really? Surveillance. It's the surveillance state in your house.
Vic00:07:40I love it. Until you have to explain at some point, "Oh, by the way, this has been a lie." You know, it's not real. But they really go for it, right? They really believe it. Never tell your children.
Sonny00:07:48Never tell your children. Until they grow... Adults believing. If they don't believe in Santa, burn their presents in front of them. Santa is real.
Vic00:07:57Yes, that's right. In case there's any kids listening. But just also because it's true. Because it's true.
Sonny00:08:02No, I mean... Not because there's kids listening because it's true, Vic.
Vic00:08:04No, no. That's true.
Sonny00:08:06No, you're right. Kids. We are Santa.
Vic00:08:09Listen to Vic. Listen to Vic say Santa is real. We are Santa is real. We are Santa is real. Okay. So I'm just going to continue on here. So we don't do the Elf on the Shelf, but of course my daughter's friends, everybody doesn't. So she's always complaining, "I want Elf on the Shelf." We said, "No, you don't need Elf. It's just another thing. No, forget about it. It's just another." Try to forget it. We're not doing Elf on the Shelf. So she says, "Fine." She says, "I'm going to have my own." She took her Tinkerbell doll and she goes, "This is my own Elf on the Shelf, and don't touch it because you're not supposed to touch it," and she puts it on top of the stack of our DVDs in the TV room, and she leaves, whatever. I'm sitting there watching TV, watching football. Michael's there, and I see the doll, and I said to Michael, "Michael, why don't you move the Elf right now?" He gets very excited. He puts it on the other spot. We don't say anything. An hour goes by. We're having dinner. She comes in. She goes, "Did somebody move my Elf? Who moved my Elf?" I said, "I didn't move it," and Kate has no idea. I didn't tell her that we had done this, so she goes, "No, no, I don't know what you're talking about." I think the Elf moved. I think it moved. While this is happening, Michael had moved it again to a different location. She comes back into the room, sees it, and screams. She shrieks, and she comes running in, crying, and she goes, "The Elf is alive. It's alive," and not in a good way. I thought it would be funny. I was like, "Oh, my gosh, see? It's real. Behave." Instead, it was, "Oh, my gosh. Black magic." It was like something happened, and I immediately ... Oh, I felt so awful, and she's crying and sobbing, and I said to Michael, "Michael, tell your sister you moved it," and Michael laughs. He goes, "It's like Annabelle Creation." That's what ... He's never seen it. Not Boss Baby? Not Boss Baby. No, Annabelle Creation. I think they've seen probably commercials or something, and it just sticks with the kids. Anyway, that was what happened. Fantastic. Fantastic. Thank you. What shows are you allowing your children to watch that have Annabelle Creation? I know. This is the thing. Annabelle Creation is a commercial. Or you know what? Maybe it's like an ad on the internet. Oh, on the internet.
JVL00:10:05So you just let your children watch YouTube, by themselves.
Vic00:10:08Here you go. Here's Google, kids.
Guest00:10:10Yeah. Google.
Vic00:10:12Find what you can find. God. That was that. That's great. But my daughter, she rebounds pretty quickly. We just hug it out, and talk to her in soothing tones, maybe give her a cup of hot cocoa. Speaking of cocoa. At this weekend's box office, Coco took top honors again, with $18 million. I hope the last time I have to come up with a segue for Coco, this should be it. Followed by Justice League, which came in second place. Barely.
Sonny00:10:43Barely. It was close. A whopping nine and a half million. Yeah. It's doing real well. Warner Brothers, very happy with that return.
JVL00:10:49Do you have nine and a half million dollars, Sonny? I do. Actually. Do you know mine then? You're doing just as well as Justice League.
Sonny00:10:55You know where I have it? In Bitcoin. Oh, good. You're in great shape. You're in great shape. I have seven Bitcoins, and they're worth a billion dollars now. Nope. Three billion. Yeah. Yes.
Vic00:11:07Oh, shit. One hundred million. Sorry. It's over now. Zero. Wonder came in at third. The Disaster Artist made it up to four. All the way down in the 15th spot, but only in 53 theaters. So far was Darkest Hour. Yeah. JVL, did you see Darkest Hour? Sure did. Great.
Sonny00:11:26We all saw it, right? We all saw it. I think we all saw it. I think there may be a fourth- All four of us saw it. A fourth person may have seen it.
Vic00:11:33That's right, folks. Maybe.
Sonny00:11:35Maybe. The return of... Look, he's right outside the window right now.
Vic00:11:38Oh, my goodness.
Sonny00:11:39Come on in. Come on in, Gene.
Vic00:11:41In Darkest Hour, Gary Oldman, a consummate professional, plays Winston Churchill, Britain's immortal beloved prime minister. As Churchill, Oldman's not so smart. He's smiley. He's mostly serious, black, but seriously, Oldman is the hero Hollywood deserves, but not the one it needs right now. Who I need right now is Lily James, the actress who plays Churchill's secretary. Boy, can she take dick-tation. In fact, I'd like to ask her how my dick-tate skills are. Sometimes I talk too fast. No, no, no. I apologize. It's inappropriate, especially in light of what's happening in the industry. What's happening in the industry right now?
Sonny00:12:33Sonny, I can't talk about it, JVL. No, you should just -- what's going on? You have to tell our listeners what is happening. We don't get all the inside scoop like Gene.
Vic00:12:43I don't want to go down that dark hole. Things can get pretty hairy. It's a slippery slope. Let me just say one thing. Just one thing. If Bryan Singer invites you to a party on his boat, expect there to be loads of semen because he can't sail that boat by himself.
Sonny00:13:00You mean the watch, right? That's our second reference to semen. JVL's watch. Lots of those around.
Vic00:13:06Yes. Well, anyway, I give Darkest Hour four stars. This isn't even the beginning of the end, but it is perhaps the end of the beginning of this podcast. That was very, very close to the line. Oh, yes. That was very, very -- You know, there's a very controversial seventh-grade joke involving the word dictate and I'm not even going to explain the joke because you can't tell it. And I hope it works. We'll see. What did we think about Darkest Hour? Sonny, you want to give a full review? You want a big boy review or a JVL?
Sonny00:13:38JVL, do you want to do the full review?
JVL00:13:42No, you should do it.
Sonny00:13:43Okay. Well, here's -- my full review, frankly, is that I like the movie and I did not love it, but I did love Gary Oldman in it. Darkest Hour basically tracks the first three or four weeks of Winston Churchill's prime ministership -- when he was prime minister the first time -- and kind of the drive to keep Britain in the war during World War II. It was a very hairy situation. The Brits were trying to flee Europe. Some within his own party were calling to sue for peace with the Nazis. And, of course, Churchill had for years and for decades -- well, for years -- had been warning against the evils of Hitler and Nazism. This is very much an Oscar-bait period piece type movie. It is a movie about a great man who is beset by troubles on all sides and needs to find the wisdom of the people to help him push through the moment and triumph over the various iniquities before him. Joe Wright is a perfectly competent director who has the occasional flourish visually, but I am not particularly in love with. He's the sort of guy who makes a lot of movies that I'm like, "Yeah, that's okay. That's okay. There are things I don't like, and there are things I do like. He's okay." And Dunkirk is very much like this. I mean, it is -- or, I'm sorry -- Darkest Hour is very much like this. And it's very interesting to kind of compare this movie to Dunkirk. Dunkirk is a piece of art. It's a work of art. It's a great cinematic achievement. And this is like, as you were describing on the way over, it's kind of like a PBS docudrama. It's not quite that low on the totem pole. The movie with Brian Cox is much worse, visually and in terms of framing and --
Vic00:15:41What was that movie called? I can't remember. Churchill.
Sonny00:15:44Oh, it was called Churchill. Yeah, yeah. But this is pretty staid, I think, and kind of competently but not impressively shot. But look, it is a movie that is anchored by a great performance, if you think, as I do, that kind of over-the-top, hammy, really scene-chewing performances can be great. I like this sort of thing. And I really like what Oldman does with the role, where he is kind of -- he's kind of mumbly and kind of quiet at times, and then very loud and bombastic, and he is -- he's not doing the full Christian Bale-style body transformation. He's wearing prosthetics, and it's --
JVL00:16:30Best fat suit performance since Courtney Cox in Friends.
Sonny00:16:33It's very good fat suit performance, very good fat suit performance. But it is also -- but, like, I mean, look, it's acting. It's not, you know --
Vic00:16:40Eddie Murphy as Professor Klump.
Sonny00:16:42Anyway, I -- like, I mostly like it. I don't love it. And if you are into, like, kind of, again, the big, hammy, Oscar-bait, Oscar-style performances, then this is the movie for you.
Vic00:16:57Did it qualify for Golden Globe noms, or no? Yeah, I think so.
Sonny00:17:00I think it got -- Did he get them? I think it got some. I think Old Men Go. I -- honestly, I don't. I didn't really look at the Golden Globes, because the Golden Globes are a farce.
Vic00:17:07Mm-hmm. Corrupt, corrupt farce. Yes, I know it is because that movie, Get Out, is under comedy. Right. I mean, it's absurd. JVL, your thoughts?
JVL00:17:17I really didn't like it. I really didn't like it a lot. Yeah. But I -- so I have a strange view. I don't have a viewing experience here, because I know quite a lot about Churchill. He's like the only major figure that I've spent a lot of time reading about. And I am -- just this week was actually reading the final installment of William Manchester's three-volume -- can you grab that for me, son? Thanks. Three-volume biography of Churchill. And in fact, just this week, I read the section. Totally by coincidence. I didn't do this for the show, or do this for the movie. The section which covers this four- or five-week period, which is in this. And I am not bothered by the historical inaccuracies. They don't bug me. Unlike Sonny, I do think that movies like this owe something to history. So like having Winston Churchill go to the underground to figure out what to do. Right. We should discuss this scene. Well, you do.
Vic00:18:25I was going to say that you were not bothered by the inaccuracy, because that's a huge inaccuracy.
JVL00:18:28It's a huge inaccuracy, but that actually doesn't bother me about it. What bothers me is that ... Well, I have a large discussion about this. Victorino, what were your thoughts? The answer is I really didn't like it. I liked it.
Vic00:18:45And I'll tell you why later. I liked it for ... I mean, my expectation was that I was hoping that we were not going to see battles at Dunkirk, because that just would pale in comparison to Dunkirk. So I was happy that it focused just on ... You know, Churchill ... I'm a big fan of Gary Oldman. I like Gary Oldman, so I enjoyed it as well. I thought Christian Scott Thomas was great, and I was ... And of course, Lily James. I really do like her. She was Cousin Rose in Downton Abbey, if you watch it. Not that I watched it, but she was on that show. And I loved it until the London Underground scene, which I thought was obviously cheesy. There's a part where he quotes, and then ... Is he doing Cicero? Was that who was recording? Yeah. Or Passenger? Passenger 57?
JVL00:19:27Come on.
?00:19:28That's racist. Wow. Wow.
Vic00:19:31I'm not commenting, but the point is ... Yes. The point is yes. And he finishes the quote, and it's this lesson learned, and I thought it was the end of Volcano. That's all. Wait. What? And I just knew that, obviously, they had taken liberties, and I mean, I understand I think the director had said elsewhere about how doing their research about Churchill popping up in different places and talking to the commoners and getting their opinions. So that's yes, but this part was a bit much. It was a bit much.
JVL00:20:07It's a device. It's a device. Were either of you bothered by Joe Wright's insane over-reliance on overhead shots? I noticed it three times. Because he went to that well like four too many times for me, and the God's eye view, I just kept thinking to myself, "Okay, it was sort of artistic the first time." I guess it was kind of useful to say.
Vic00:20:28The one with Churchill in the umbrella, the last shot, I thought, again, I said, "I get it." But he was really excited about it.
JVL00:20:33Yeah. But it's like he has no other tools in the toolbox.
Sonny00:20:35Right. Right. Some of those shots I thought worked really well, though. For instance, the tracking shot through Calais, where he goes through the wounded men, through the kind of aggrieved officers who are hanging on but barely, and then I guess up the chimney. Yeah. No, I liked that. I liked that scene. I thought that was a great shot, and a very efficient way of showing the cost of what Churchill had ordered to ensure the evacuation of Dunkirk. And it got in it, and it did it in a way that was small enough to not feel like it was in competition with Nolan's Dunkirk, but also was big enough to give you a sense of the moment.
Vic00:21:19I thought that was really well done. And it went up, and then it went back down again with the bomb. Right.
Sonny00:21:22Right, right, right. Yes.
JVL00:21:24The camera tracks through the crowd.
Vic00:21:25And then the USS Arizona was blown up after that, when the bomb landed. It was the Michael Bay shot. It was the Michael Bay shot.
Sonny00:21:33It was the Michael Bay shot. Famous for it. Yes. Except it was the Michael Bay shot if we saw the bomb coming out of the ship first. Yes, exactly. If we followed Cuba Gooding Jr. through the ship. Right, right, through the ship with his tray of breakfast. And then went up, and then the bomb came down. And the pot of coffee.
Vic00:21:49Obviously, I mean, but you talk about how you-
Sonny00:21:52So, you really hate the- The tube. The tube scene.
JVL00:21:57No, I don't. This is what I'm saying. That's actually not my ... That's actually not what bothers me about the movie. Okay. What bothers me about the movie is this. I'm going to have to monologue at you for like two minutes. Go on. I'm sorry.
?00:22:08Go for it.
JVL00:22:09This story, the story of May 1940, and again, I have this all fresh in my mind because I just read what is basically the definitive authoritative account of it this week, is unbelievably cinematic. You can't make it up, and you can't improve on it. It involves the comeuppance of an entire political class in Britain. The ascension of a flawed genius to a position that he has blatantly and very unattractively pursued for his entire life. The Blitzkrieg fall of an entire continent. The craven betrayal of France's accord with the British and their promise that they would not seek a separate peace. The fight within France between a war hero turned traitor in Marshal Batan, who tried to have a rising stalwart, Charles de Gaulle, who's literally named De Gaulle. In France, killed. And Batan tries to get him killed because he's worried about him running off to establish a free France in Britain. You then have, this is all within, again, all within the same four week period, one of the great military strategic failures of all time in the Maginot Line being circumvented. One of the great military routs of all time with the German evisceration of the French Army. And then one of the only retreats in the history of war that ends up being a decisive strategic victory. And all of this. This is set in motion by a guy who was a professional writer and who saw as his principal weapon to fight Hitler being his ability to use words. And over the course of this month, you have two or three of the greatest speeches ever made in the English language, and one of which probably ranks with or above Gettysburg as one of the greatest pieces of political oratory ever. All of these tools are sitting on the table to tell this story. I love you. I'm very sensitive that I feel like I'm making the mirror image criticism here of what John Podhoretz did with Dunkirk, where I'm saying that it just isn't the movie that I wanted it to be. But what I'm saying is, it actually was the movie I wanted it to be, but it was just a lousy version of it. I believe that the actual history of this is impossible to be improved upon as a narrative construct, and that everything they did in the service of narrative... Narration and devices actually was a worse dramatic and storytelling choice than simple fidelity would have been.
Sonny00:24:32Mm-hmm. I will... So let me counter by saying that I thought that Wright's decision to structure the film around the three great speeches was smart and was the right way to do it for the story he is trying to tell, which is... A line towards the end of the movie, they're not very subtle about this, one of the characters says he's mobilized the English language for war. Like he is, I mean, this is a movie about the ways in which oratory and speech can inspire and create a will to survive, and I think that, frankly, I think they do a very good job of this, with the opening speech to Parliament, the BBC address midway through. Or maybe about 40 minutes through, and then the final speech at the end, where they frankly, you know, have very explicitly structured the film around this idea. Now I, look, I understand what you're saying, that there is much more to the story that could have been told, but this is a story that is rather explicitly set from the point of view of Churchill, and in his, you know, little world, in his little world. Political intrigue. And I'm not, I, like, you could have, I guess, done more with the Maginot line, but I, how
JVL00:26:01long is this movie supposed to be? I'm not saying you have to include all of it, we'll come back to this. I think we have to do something about it, right?
Vic00:26:05No, no, I was gonna say, it's very interesting, because I too am very, you know, well versed in May 1940, but I read other sources, not Churchill, you know, the biography of Heinz Guderian, for example, oh no, no, I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, Rommel was there, Rommel was there, he led the Panzer, he was a Panzer commander there. Leader, General, no, but obviously, from the other side, from the Churchill side, it sounds like I need to brush up on my history.
JVL00:26:33All right, everybody buckle up for essentially the longest read ever, because this is for a product I'm actually really jazzed about. Speaking of which, speaking of which, let's be honest, you're supposed to brush your teeth for two minutes twice a day, but do you? Whether your answer is yes, no, or maybe, you need Quip, the electric toothbrush that looks like it was designed by Apple and cleans like premium electric toothbrushes. But without the high price, Quip is the new electric toothbrush that packs just the right amount of vibrations into an ultra-slim design with guiding pulses to simplify better brushing at a fraction of the cost of bulkier brushes. Quip comes with a mount that goes right on your mirror, fitting seamlessly into your daily routine. No charger, no wires, it means that Quip is compact and light to make brushing twice daily easy at home and on the road. Quip also offers an optional subscription plan. Bring new brush heads on a dentist-recommended three-month schedule for just $5, including free shipping worldwide. And just in time for the holidays, Quip is the ideal size and price to gift anyone on your list. You can even include automatic brush head deliveries for a year to ensure your gift keeps giving until next holiday. The Quip electric toothbrush is featured in just about every gift guide this year, including GQ, Forbes, and Men's Health. Quip is backed by a network of over 10,000 dental professionals, including dentists, hygienists, and dental students. So here's the deal. I'm pretty excited. I haven't gotten my first Quip yet. It is shipping right now, and I'm quite excited because I don't know if you know this movie, Victorino. I am, dental hygiene is one of my eccentricities. I am really, really into dental hygiene. I would say I spend a long time, I'm a diligent flosser.
Vic00:28:18I am not familiar with your oral history.
JVL00:28:20I once went, I believe my streak was... It was two years and seven months flossing every single day, no matter what.
Vic00:28:29Yes. I've become that way. Never missing. No, I've become that way. Never missing. I've become it, yeah.
JVL00:28:33And as such, I have a love-hate relationship with my current electric toothbrush because on the one hand, all of the literature says that your results are better with electric than they are with manual because the key is consistency. You brush twice a day, two minutes a day, you make sure you're not pressing too hard, and you get a new brush head every three months. Do you know why? So the reason you get a new brush head every three months is because over time... As you use the bristles, they go from being rounded to being sharp. They develop edges on them, and that's bad for both the enamel and your gums. This is all. By the way, none of this is like product read. This is actual things that I care about. So the electrics are great, but on the other hand, they're expensive as the brush, as the handle, and the replacement heads are insanely expensive. It's like razors, you know, like they get you with the blades. And because they're so pricey, I find myself as wedded as I am to this stuff. Sometimes trying to push it and use that brush head for an extra month, longer than I should, and that's bad for you. So why I'm excited about making the move to Quip is because it gives you all the advantage of the traditional electric brush, but with the automatic replacement schedule to make sure that I'm always doing right by my teeth. I am legit excited about this, and I will be sure to update you on it over the next couple weeks. So, Quip starts at just $25, and right now, when you go to getquip.com slash substandard to get your first refill pack free with a Quip electric toothbrush. That's your first refill pack free at getquip.com slash substandard, spelled G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash substandard.
Vic00:30:07Bravo. Bravo. That was a great read. Good read.
JVL00:30:10I'm legit excited about this.
Vic00:30:11That was a great read. And you know, my toothbrush also broke down. My electric toothbrush broke down. I should try a Quip myself. You know what? Yeah. You could use mine.
Sonny00:30:19You guys can share Quips. Share Quips.
Vic00:30:21Just like we did when we... Oh, never mind. Okay. But, you know, it's amazing with older generations, speaking of oral care, they have all sorts of problems. And it's after the dawn of fluoride, and you talked to Richard Starr about this, he has deep thoughts on this, but, you know, dentists, they don't have to do the same things now. There shouldn't be any reason, right, in the modern world, in the modern age, you know, an industrial world, so to say, first world, for example, that you would have problems with, you know, at our age, bridges and crowns and things that happen to old people now, I think we're just seeing... I don't have the stats in front of me, but I just imagine that there's less of that now, because if you brush your teeth twice a day, and you floss... Got to floss. Right? I mean, I think that just changes... Got to floss. It's a game changer for the teeth, but I don't think you'll be hearing much of that when our generation and after gets older, they'll be like, I've got to replace my bridge.
Sonny00:31:14Are you trying to transition into something, or... No, not at all.
Vic00:31:16No, I'm just talking about oral care. Yeah, yeah. God damn. Are you... You're not... Unlike when I was a kid, I had... At one point in time in my life as a kid, when I was a three-year-old, nine cavities. Wow. I had... I was like Jaws from James Bond, with the silver caps. It was horrific. It was horrific.
JVL00:31:35I didn't get my first cavity until I was midway through my 30s. Oh.
Sonny00:31:39I have never had a cavity. Right. This is... I've heard about this. That's an amazing streak. This is my... But now I'm hitting my mid-30s. I'm worried. No, Sonny, did you ever...
Vic00:31:48This is like the Lou Gehrig, the Iron Man. Yeah, I'm sure. I have a few other questions for Sonny. Have you ever gotten sick before? Do you ever remember getting... Are you cold? Do you remember? How much have you ever tried to bench?
Sonny00:31:57Unbreakable. One time I was benching, and I just had Katie, my two-year-old, just keep putting tank cans on it. She was like, Daddy, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm proving that I'm a superhero. Get with the program, baby.
Vic00:32:09And you just kept on going. I kept going. Do you like swimming? Do you like water? No. I almost died once. Oh, my gosh. Okay, talking about Darkest Hour, I don't know if we want to still talk about Darkest Hour. We can move on to Gary Oldman. Do you want to have Gary Oldman thoughts? Do you think this is... Gary Oldman... You would not consider this to be your favorite Gary Oldman, is what you're saying, JBL?
JVL00:32:27I thought his performance... I agree with Sonny. His performance is excellent. He captures... I mean, he is a very good mimic, so he is both mimicking but is also channeling the legitimate interest of Churchill. He is a nicer Churchill than Churchill was. I mean, this is one of the things which is difficult about Churchill is that he's an interesting figure. He's not a nice guy, actually. He was a tyrant. If we had a Churchill figure today, like, for instance, he was always naked around the help because he did not believe that the help were real people. So, like, you know, he would never be naked in front of the king, but, like, his typist or his secretary or Jock Colville or any of those people, you know, they're not real people. So he would just, like, you know, walk into the bathroom while he was, you know, dictating, take off his clothes, get into the bath, continue dictating, get out, walk naked to his bedroom, drying himself off. In today's culture, I would say he would be fired. He could not serve in government.
Sonny00:33:25It is played in the movie as kind of a quirky, funny thing, like, oh, the help, or the, you know, the dictationist, the secretary, has to, his, like, covers him up, like, oh!
JVL00:33:35Right, I'm, what is he, he says a great line, I'm coming out in the natural state or something. Yes, that's latent.
Sonny00:33:39And you get some of that, too, in the John Lithgow version of- On the Crown. On the Crown of Churchill. He does this same kind of thing, where, again, it's played, like, almost for laughs and kind of amusingly, like, look at this, look at this- He's a quirky old man.
JVL00:33:54But this is a guy who is on the make from the minute he was, like, 17 years old. I mean, no joke, like, he was angling, you know, using his mother's wealth and connections to try to get good placement with the fourth hussars. I mean, he was a climber, like you would- He was a striver. In ways, well, yes, but in ways which, absent World War II, we would look at him as sort of unpleasant, and as reputable, and gross, I think. Like, kind of a D-bag. But this is what's so interesting about him, is that World War II is the exact meeting of a man and a moment. And all of his particular gifts, which made him so unpleasant, and made him so difficult to admire and understand, were also what made him the perfect man for that moment, and the essential man in British history. Do you think Darkest Hour does not capture that? I think it does not, no.
Sonny00:34:49Because I really, I mean, I have to disagree a little bit. I do think that...
JVL00:34:55I mean, he's being led, as much as he is leading in that. And that is simply not the case.
Sonny00:34:59I don't think that's true at all. I think that is, I think he is struggling against the wishes of men within his own party, men who are supposed to be on his side in this thing, who want him to sue for peace, who want him to push for an equitable agreement, which would be surrender, basically, which would amount to surrender. And you see the machinations behind the scene against him, and you see how he... He basically just says, F off. I'm in charge.
JVL00:35:27Well, but he has more self-doubt than he actually... This is what I'm saying. I mean, the idea that he needs to go to the people to be led by the people. I mean, he knew where he was the entire time. And it happened that the people were where he was as well.
Sonny00:35:38See, but this is the thing is, I don't think he has to go to the people to get reassurance. I think he is going to the people so he can understand where... So, like, what this movie does better than, I think, a lot of other films or TV shows about Churchill... Is that it captures him as a politician, right? Him actually having to understand what the will of the people is at any given moment. And I think that's useful. I mean, we have to... It's easy to remember him now in a vacuum as kind of a speech giver and a big... But he was actually a politician. He had to win votes. Yep. And I think that the tube scene, as much of a construction and as much as a silly ahistorical bit of fiction that it is... Is, does well. I think that it kind of gets to his kind of charming... The way he could be charming when he wanted to be. And the way he was kind of funny in an irreverent and almost self-deprecating sort of way.
JVL00:36:39So, Halifax, Lord of Halifax, is the principal foil for the movie. And was probably the worst of the appeasers. But did you know... You may have known this, Victorino. Yes. So, at the... At the time, Lloyd George, who also thought that he was going to be able to replace Churchill. So, Lloyd George is working behind the scenes to try to take Churchill's prime ministership from him. And simultaneously in Germany, as the Germans are plotting what the sort of post-war order is going to be, they are thinking that Lloyd George is the perfect guy to be the head of the puppet regime. I would say, in anybody, in any case in history, if you find out that the Nazis wanted you to be in charge of things, you should rethink...
Vic00:37:24All of your political choices and all of your strategic analyses of everything. Yeah, realize that you're being taken as a fool. That you are a fool. So, you know how you guys always make the argument case for the empire, like the real, the real, you know, the White Walkers in Game of Thrones, right? So, is the real hero of Darkest Hour Lord Halifax? No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding, Sonny.
Sonny00:37:43But it would be Hitler in this case, right? This is... It would be Vix. This is Vix's case for the empire. No, not at all.
Vic00:37:49Stannis, by the way, Stannis Baratheon, a nice... The one true king. The one true king, Stannis Baratheon, is Lord Halifax. Stannis Baratheon, the one true king.
Sonny00:37:57He sacrificed his own family for the good of his people.
Vic00:38:01Not Iphigenia. That was Agamemnon's daughter, but similar.
JVL00:38:05Is this the most conservative movie ever made? Because this is a movie which takes as flatly given that the Peaceniks are fools and traitors.
Vic00:38:18That's an excellent point.
JVL00:38:19And that the only rational response is... I mean, can you imagine... Well, this is also... ...another movie in which the guy talking about, let's be reasonable, let's not be warmongers, is clearly wrong?
Sonny00:38:30I can think of one. Yeah.
?00:38:32Wonder Woman.
JVL00:38:34Wonder Woman. How so? Oh, that's right.
Sonny00:38:39Literally, the god of war, Ares, is calling for them to sue for peace because he wants to see more death and destruction. I mean, that's literally... That's the most neoconservative film of the year.
JVL00:38:49But there, he's being duplicitous. Here, they're just fools and they're wrong. Oh, okay. But, I mean... Brief aside on Wonder Woman, I watched Patty Jenkins' Arrested Development episode last night. Which one is that? It's the one where they build a house. And it might... It's either the best or the second best Arrested Development episode ever. Which one? I'm sorry, which one? Is this the fake house? The house where they build the fake... No, no, we're the one where they build the fake house. And it's the one where you introduce Starla, the business model. Rock, paper, scissors is in it. It's the first Anne.
Sonny00:39:18Oh, is that the one with Godzilla?
JVL00:39:22No, no, that's season two. This is season two.
Vic00:39:23And they'll open up cupboards and cabinets where there's... It's all props.
JVL00:39:27So this is praise of Patty Jenkins. Anyway, back to the normal. I cannot think of a more conservative interpretation. And I don't mean conservative politically. I mean conservative worldview. The world is a dangerous place that sometimes violence is the answer. And that would fit in... Again, Wonder Woman.
Sonny00:39:42It's literally the entirety of the plot of Wonder Woman. That violence is the answer in the face of greater violence. It also fits...
JVL00:39:49I am mediocre on Wonder Woman as well.
Sonny00:39:53I just think... Like, if we're going to... Fair. Admit it. Admit it.
JVL00:39:56Fair. But that's fiction. And this is... This is a movie designed to offend the sensibilities of the NPR crowd. Do they get it? Do they get it? I don't think so. So I saw this in Shirlington. So did I. The Shirlington 7. The Shirlington 7. At a 4.30 weekday show yesterday.
Sonny00:40:12You guys should have come to my house. I live like a mile from there.
JVL00:40:15And it was a very full crowd. I did a quick essay of the crowd as I got there. Me too.
Sonny00:40:21How old was it? What was the average age? I was the youngest person... I've been there by 20 years. I agree. The average age was probably like 60 then? Yes.
JVL00:40:27No, the average age was probably late 60s or late 70s. A lot of white hair. All very well dressed. Very nice, white, liberal, gentry, retiree, Republican types. And here's the mood of the crowd. When the trailer for The Post played in front of this... Yes! At the conclusion of the trailer, the audience erupted into applause.
Vic00:40:44Oh no! That didn't happen in ours. And we had a packed audience with a lot of old people. But there was... Did you go with your son? I went by myself to the... You keep saying... And we. Oh, yeah.
Sonny00:40:55Who'd you go with? No, no, uh, no one! Did you bring a, uh... What? Well, here's the funny thing is, I was in Shirlington when you were at the movies. And I saw you walking out with a striking blonde woman. I wasn't sure... It wasn't Kate, and I just assumed it was like a niece, maybe?
Vic00:41:12I can't believe I just fell for it. It's the biggest gaffe since, you know, the old restaurant gaffe. You know, the old restaurant gaffe where the manager...
Sonny00:41:20For the record, Kate, I am joking. Yes, thank you. I did not see him. A striking blonde niece.
Vic00:41:24At the pavillon, and, you know, the big mistake where the manager sees a guy two days in a row, and the second time says, oh, it was so nice to see you yesterday with your wife, and he's with his wife on the second date. It's a disaster. No, uh, no, it was packed, and there was no applause for the post. I thought there might have even been a snicker, but that was maybe just me. And there was also the Liam Neeson trailer, which was ridiculous. Computer, computer, train. Well, let me guess, he has X amount of time to have it. He has a set of skills, you know. I mean, this is so crazy.
Sonny00:41:54It's literally just nonstop, but on a train instead of an airplane.
Vic00:41:58And then the climax, he's, like, hanging from the train.
Sonny00:42:01It looks so dumb. It's terrible. Not as dumb as, well, okay.
Vic00:42:04Maybe we'll talk about the post. I've seen it. Oh, my, I know. We've talked about it. I don't know if you feel comfortable. Well, at some point. When is it officially coming out?
JVL00:42:10Some of those people, some of those people thought that Kay Graham couldn't make the decisions because she was a woman.
Vic00:42:17No, it's true.
JVL00:42:18Sonny, it's true. We could go to jail.
Vic00:42:19We could go to jail. Whoa. Hashtag me. Me, too. And that's going to probably, I asked Sonny this question on the ride in, which is, the post received nominations for Golden Globes. Will people, even if they don't like it, even if they don't like it, hypothetically, do you think a lot of voters will just be compelled to choose? They'll have to. We have to pick the post.
Sonny00:42:42I think this is.
Vic00:42:43What is the Me Too movie, though?
Sonny00:42:44But here's.
JVL00:42:45Whatever the Me Too movie is this year. Handmaid's Tale.
Sonny00:42:47No, but I, well, this is the Me Too movie. I mean, the way the movie is. So, like, one of the closing shots. In the movie is, they're at the Supreme Court, they're arguing the case, and Kay Graham walks out by her. The New York Times guy's giving a big speech.
Vic00:43:00Oh, I'm the New York Times, and we're believing freedom of the press, says the Washington
Sonny00:43:04Post columnist. And Kay Graham, you know, Kay Graham, she said, oh, we've already won our case. And she, like, walks out the side, and literally lined up on the ramp, as she's walking, are a bunch of youngish women, 20ish women, with their hands clasped, like, oh, Kay Graham,
JVL00:43:23you're our hero.
Sonny00:43:25I'm covering my mouth, and I'm just so, I'm so stung. We should actually, we should all watch it together, and just MST3K it. You know what?
JVL00:43:34I'm rooting for Wonder Woman for Best Picture. That's it. If it gets nominated. I'm rooting for Wonder Woman for Best Picture.
Vic00:43:40If it gets nominated.
Sonny00:43:41I would, I think it will probably get nominated. I don't know. I think this movie, I think this year is actually, like, kind of wide open for Best Picture. I could see. There's so many different grievances. You could, you could make. Right, I mean. That's the way to put it.
JVL00:43:54We don't have one clear grievance award winner. Think about Get Out.
Sonny00:43:56You could, you could make a case for Get Out. You could make a case for The Post. You could get an old white male case for Dunkirk. You could make a case for Wonder Woman. I, well, I mean, look. I, like, I know that it's not, it's not doing well with the critics, because the critics are a bunch of, you know, awful, liberal, terrible, terrible people. But the, the, the, well, Hollywood. Okay. All right.
Vic00:44:20Yeah. Do we have any other thoughts? Gary, what is your favorite? What is your favorite Gary Oldman JBL? If I could just lay it on the spot. Yeah. No. Agreed.
JVL00:44:29No, not true. No? It's not actually my, you, you guys talk about this, so I need to think about it for a moment. If I had to pick roles off the top of my head. So we're talking performance or movie that he's in? Performance. Performance, performance. Okay.
Sonny00:44:45My, my three favorite are probably Darkest Hour, I think I can, I can include that. I can include that in this. The, the, yeah, The Professional would be number two. And number one is actually The Fifth Element.
Vic00:45:02Oh, Zorg.
Sonny00:45:03As Zorg. I just, I, like, something about that role has always stuck with me as just like kind of.
Vic00:45:08What is the accent in Zorg? That's what I want to know. I have no idea.
Sonny00:45:10I have no idea. I know, I have no idea what's going on in a lot of that movie.
Vic00:45:14You know what's getting, yes, with the accent, it's kind of southern, but what's, what's going on on his head?
Sonny00:45:24Well, he's wearing like a, like a transparent cap or something. Yes. Yeah.
Vic00:45:27But it's like, I'm beginning to see more and more people have that sort of hairstyle.
Sonny00:45:30Uh, with a, with a, with a, uh, honorable mention to JFK. Yes. His Lee Harvey Oswald is just, is, I, like, there, JFK, I, I can't tell if it's underrated or if it's properly rated. I, I don't know if this has been kind of a movie that has been lost in the years. It's a movie qua movie. Or if it, but I, but I know that critics like it a lot because of the way it's edited. Yeah. And the way it's put together. Uh, but I, like, his, his kind of, his performance as Lee Harvey Oswald is just, is just pitch perfect, is kind of confused. Yeah. And if you believe Lee Harvey Oswald to be a patsy, he plays him as a stupid, confused
JVL00:46:08person. Yeah. Perfectly. He's the best thing in Air Force One. Oh. I totally forgot. Yes. So here is what, what I find so interesting about Oldman as an actor. He can bounce. From the meanest, most sinister, heavy villain. Mm-hmm. To the purest, most lovable, trustworthy guy, like, I, aka Sirius Black, just effortlessly.
Sonny00:46:40Well, it's sometimes within the same movie. And that's, that's hard to do. Yeah. I mean, it's highly. I mean, even, but as Sirius Black, he has to play kind of both of those extremes. He's got to whip back and forth.
Vic00:46:49And of course, I like him as Commissioner Gordon. Right. No, his, so Commissioner Gordon is fantastic. Fantastic, he's. I think I liked him, the first time I saw him was at JFK, so I'll always remember that. But also the professional, because he always reminds me of somebody we used to work with, JVL. I can't remember who. Who was that? I don't know. And also, you know who, Dracula. He played Dracula. He played Dracula. And a very, apparently, a very tense filming. I think I've mentioned this before. And he's a big drinker. And he would. Used to be. Used to be. Oh, okay. I think he's, yeah. And he's, and would get into scuffles, apparently, with Francis Ford Coppola with Anthony Hopkins sort of intervening. Let me ask you this. He was in Hannibal, too. Oh, yeah. Mason. Mason Berger.
JVL00:47:29Lost in Space.
Vic00:47:30Oh. And Friends, the TV show Friends. He was on Friends? Yeah. He played a two-bit part, a two-episode run. Richard Crosby. There you go. The one with Monica and Chandler's wedding, parts one and two. It was Joey's acting coach or something like that. They must have met on the set of Lost in Space. That's what I was going to say. Ah, the connection. Now, let me ask you this, Sonny. You met, obviously, you interviewed Gary Oldman recently.
Sonny00:47:58Yeah, Gary Oldman.
Vic00:47:59Were you in for The Post? Yeah. And what was your feeling meeting him?
Sonny00:48:05I, um, it was a, so I'm actually a very bad journalist. I'm a very bad reporter. I have a hard time asking questions that are smart in person. Like, I'm much better over, like, I like to write. I don't really like to talk. So it was slightly awkward. It was a little bit awkward. And it was very, it was very interesting talking to him because he was like, he's very friendly before I turned the recorder on. And then he, like, went kind of, like, very introspective and stone-faced. And then as soon as I turned it off, we started talking again.
JVL00:48:34And it was like, it's like, oh, this is very, very frustrating.
Sonny00:48:38But I have a feeling this is because he has been burned by interviews before. Oh, yeah. Remember, there was a, do you guys remember a couple years ago, there was, like, the Playboy interview where he, he, it was, it got, it went viral, as they say. Well, I don't have any memory. I don't remember any of this. He had, he, he had, like, posed a hypothetical about, you know, something about, something about the Jews in Hollywood. People can look it up on, on. Oh.
JVL00:49:03And it, it. That's a spicy, not the ball.
Sonny00:49:05But it was, but it was, it was not, it was not, he was talking in the context of Mel Gibson and, like, anyway, it was like, it was very, it was very awkward and weird. Sure. Did you feel intimidated at all? Well, a little bit.
JVL00:49:16I just felt nervous because I am, like, I mean, look, I'm, I'm a professional, right?
Sonny00:49:20Yeah, yeah, of course. I don't, I don't get. We're supposed to be pros. I don't get. I'm quite overwhelmed by celebrity that's not, like, it just doesn't, it just doesn't happen. I, like, talk to a bunch of people who, whose work I admire and et cetera, et cetera, but, like, Gary Oldman has been something of a presence in my life for, like, 25 years. And to see him in person, he's looking at you. And to see him in person, and, like, it was just very, it was, like, a little bit, that was a bit much. So I was a little bit, I was a little bit intimidated.
Vic00:49:43Let me ask you, more. Again, I'm very bad at my job. What about, what about Clint Eastwood? Didn't you try to interview him once?
Sonny00:49:49Well, yes, but that was in a slightly different situation. That was in a, so it was a party. At the State Department, before the, it was the, I'm sorry, it's before the Kennedy Center honors, the State Department hosts a party. That's right. Where all of the honorees come, but also they invite all of their famous friends. So at this party, I, like, for instance, met Dave Grohl and talked to him for, like, five minutes. And it was amazing. And, like, Dave Grohl is, like, the number one man in America, as far as I'm concerned. But, like, one of the people who was there was Clint Eastwood, because I think Morgan Freeman was being honored that year. And the person introducing him was Clint Eastwood. And I was trying to get a quote from Clint Eastwood for my story in The Washington Times. And he's talking to people, and he's talking to people, and I'm kind of sidling up, you know, like, the total beta move male that I am. The sidle. I'm like, hey, Mr. Eastwood, can I talk to you for a second? And he just looked at me, and he went, and I, like, I literally, I literally shrank back. I was like, okay. Now, fortunately, later, you can ask, you know who else was there? Was Kelly Jane Torrance. You can ask her about, she eventually, I think, got a quote from Clint. She was also covering it for The Washington Times. He was more amenable to talking to, you know, attractive young ladies.
JVL00:51:10That's weird. I don't know.
Sonny00:51:11But I was, Mr. Eastwood, can I just, I was like, okay.
Vic00:51:17He gave you the Gran Torino stare? Is that the son of death stare?
Sonny00:51:21I also met at that party. I met at that party, Joel Cohen. Yes, that's right. I remember. Did you talk to him or not talk to him? Yeah, yeah. We talked for a little bit. He was, so I like, it was like, Mr. Cohen, you know, I just wanted to get your opinion on, you know, the winners, blah, blah. And he was like, you know, how am I supposed to, you know, how am I supposed to say what I feel about the who and, you know, how, you know, what do I do? I was like, I don't know. How am I supposed to say what I feel about Joel Cohen, you know? And he just looked at me like, don't do that. Oh, wow. Don't do that sort of thing. I was like, all right.
Vic00:51:51I was like, just like, well, because it's like, I mean, it's like. For the record, I said sudden death. I meant sudden impact. Okay. You know what? Deep impact.
JVL00:51:58I'd say Cohen Brothers, greater sign than who. There. For me, anyway. It's, I mean, yeah, I don't know.
Sonny00:52:05I'm not really sure how you would make that comparison.
JVL00:52:09Well, it's like gorilla versus shark versus alligator.
Sonny00:52:13Obviously shark.
Vic00:52:15And the well. Did you see that story about the 500-year-old shark? Yeah, except for when the well runs dry.
JVL00:52:19That's a Greenland shark. They're harmless. They're harmless. The Greenland sharks don't do anything.
Sonny00:52:25Yeah, you just get in the water with that Greenland shark.
Vic00:52:26I'd go swimming with a Greenland shark. Are you kidding? A whale shark. I'd love to ride a whale shark. Wouldn't it be like a fantasy? Okay. It'd be like Aquaman. Yeah, so anyway, you can send me.
Sonny00:52:35You can feel free to make fun of me on Twitter for this. I'm bad at my job. I know it. It's good.
Vic00:52:39Okay. Spirit of the Week. Oh, this is good. You know, Winston Churchill was a fan of Johnny Walker, JVL. Sonny, yes, you concur. Johnny Walker Red. I believe it was Red. Red was what he drank when he drank scotch. That's a working man of the Johnny Walkers. That was the scotch of my wedding.
Sonny00:52:56If you're drinking a bottle of scotch a day, you should probably be doing the Red.
Vic00:53:00Stretch that out. And so today, we have Johnny Walker Black, courtesy of Diageo and Reed Spencer over at Hunter Public Relations. They sent over four bottles of scotch. Ooh. So this is a great-
Sonny00:53:13Hopefully, we have four more shows left in us.
Vic00:53:15I don't know. So thank you very much for that as well. I was going to say, it's the three other scotch. We'll feature them in future episodes if we have them. And we encourage you all to try some wonderful- Johnny Walker Black. Products from the Diageo family. Ready? Johnny Walker. Cal-Ela. You ever had that scotch? That's a good one. Oban. I love Oban. Oban's great. Very expensive. Lagavulin. And in terms of gin, they've got Tanqueray and Don Julio Tequila. Bailey's. So just remember, folks, to drink responsibly, especially Christmas parties. Who's driving it? Get an Uber.
Sonny00:53:50I will say that I am not a big fan of scotch. Yeah, that surprises me. You're a bourbon guy? I much prefer bourbon, and I much prefer rye whiskey to scotch. But Johnny Walker Black is the number one scotch, as far as I'm concerned. It's velvety smooth. It's very, very drinkable. It's very drinkable. It's not overly- How's the mouthfeel? It's not aggressive on the smokiness. Silky.
Vic00:54:10Yes. No, no, no, no. You don't like the smokiness.
Sonny00:54:12Sometimes you get these really peaty or smoky- You wait for the Laphroaig, Lagavulin, that stuff. Like Halper, that's all Halper drinks is smoky. The Johnny Walker Green, for instance. Very peaty. Very peaty. You remember that? And I just don't- It's discontinued. Yeah.
Vic00:54:22Oh, they don't have that anymore. It's gone. If you have it, save it. Okay. Corrections, additions. Wait, I have a question. Yes, shoot.
JVL00:54:29If you have a bottle of Johnny Walker Green, now could you get much multiples of MSRP on eBay for it? That's a good question.
Vic00:54:37Probably, depending on mine. You guys keep talking. I'm going to effort this. Okay. Do you have any corrections or additions, shout outs, anything? Nothing. No. Okay. I had a little bit of a problem. I had a lovely time at the AEI holiday party earlier this week with its own wide array of whiskeys. They had a whiskey room, actually. I saw Jonah Goldberg in the distance, but he left probably after he saw me.
Sonny00:55:00Yeah, he got scared. He got scared when he ran. I actually heard my inside sources- At AEI? Tell me that Jonah terrified of the Substandard. He just runs.
Vic00:55:10I think he saw me across the room. I went over. I said, you know what? Maybe get a photo together. Make the peace. Yeah, you can- He was gone. Yeah, no. He was gone. Could this be true? What? Jay Vielle.
JVL00:55:21$200 plus $60 in shipping? That would be correct. I can see that. Yeah, sure. For a green label? But I mean, it was-
Vic00:55:26What did a green label cost? It was less than $200. I'll give you that much.
Sonny00:55:29It was like $120 or $130 before. Is that right? For a $750.
Vic00:55:33Blue is still the most expensive, I think. There's a platinum out there, but I think blue is still the top.
Sonny00:55:37We may be- Maybe. I don't know.
Vic00:55:39Folks, our friends at the RGL, we didn't get the platinum. Perhaps we'll get that in the future. But you know who it was nice to see at the AEI party? Substandard listeners came up to me. Oh. Grant Addison and Matt Wineset. You always get recognized. Grant Addison and Matt Wineset. People don't want you to- People don't want you to leave the show.
Sonny00:55:55They want you to stay. I don't know about that. Also, they see your head.
Vic00:55:58It's easy to spot. It's like a parade. It's like a- Yeah, during the Thanksgiving parade. Okay. That's all the time we're giving to this.
Sonny00:56:06It was Grant Addison and who else?
Vic00:56:08Matt Wineset. They both work at AEI and fans of the show. Thanks for listening, guys. Yeah.
Sonny00:56:14For this and one more episode.
Vic00:56:16And also a woman stopped me. A woman at the Hoover Christmas party. She said, oh, I feel like I know you, but I think we've never met. She goes, oh, yeah, you know, I listen to your show. You know, Woodshop, she said to me.
Sonny00:56:28Woodshop. And then you went to see Darkest Hour with her.
JVL00:56:30That was the woman. I forgot. I had a lot to drink. How many parties do you go to? Do you go to every Christmas party you're invited to? I was actually kind of curious about this because he was telling me about all these parties. Oh, yeah.
Sonny00:56:40I'm keeping it to- Who's looking after your kids during this?
Vic00:56:45I've turned down a- I go alone. Well, I mean, I go without my wife, I should say.
?00:56:49Oh.
Vic00:56:51Hey. This is the- Yes, this is a- I'm sorry. No, I'm in that mode. This is the big reveal so much. I'm in that mode because I've been watching the first episodes of The Crown season two, so I've been thinking a lot about this. That's a nice life he had, Prince Philip. Okay, that's definitely all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, complaints, compliments, tweet us at Victorino Matus at Sonny Bunch. At JBLast. Who has an Instagram, apparently, and I have yet to check it out. Again- I don't even know what that is. I don't know. I don't even need to. Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes or Google Play or Stitcher. Just type in Substandard under Podcasts, and we are there. Leave a review. Tell your friends. Until next time.
JVL00:57:48Yes! Yes. I was picturing.
Sonny00:57:51One of the most conservative movies of all, like, you know.
Vic00:57:55If you have horses. If you have horses, you can send them over the border. Or you can push them by hand.
Sonny00:58:01But I thought that was also, but that's another one of those, I actually thought that was a great shot, the kind of, like, slow pull out of the phone booth.
Vic00:58:10Yeah.
Sonny00:58:11There's a lot of that, though. Like, the whole movie was this.
Vic00:58:13I am, I, maybe I need to watch it again.
Sonny00:58:18I was. I was not, I was not blown away. I was not underwhelmed by it. I thought it was very fine. It was very, it was like a perfectly acceptable.
JVL00:58:24It was fine, but it was a missed opportunity. I mean, this was a fat pitch down the middle that turns into a slap single. I mean. Can I just say. This is one of the most interesting stories imaginable. It is easy to tell. There are five or six different ways to tell it. And instead, we got, like, TV movie plus great performance from Gary Oldman.
Sonny00:58:45It's the inverse. This is the inverse Dunkirk argument. This is what.
JVL00:58:48No, no, no, I'm not saying, I'm saying he could have taken any one of those stories.
Sonny00:58:52Wait, oh, wait, we didn't actually, we didn't actually discuss. Did we, did we, Dunkirk or Darkest Hour? Which is better?
Vic00:59:00Are you high? Dunkirk, but I really like Gary Oldman.
Sonny00:59:06Dunkirk is obviously better. Dunkirk is obviously better. And in Dunkirk and Darkest Hour, if you look at them back to back, it shows you the ways in which all of the complaints about. Dunkirk were facile and childish.
JVL00:59:21Dunkirk, Volcano, Darkest Hour, Dante's Peak.
Sonny00:59:26Yes, accurate.
JVL00:59:28Dunkirk, Armageddon, Darkest Hour, Deep Impact. Dunkirk, Bugs Life, Darkest Hour. Ants. Ants.
Sonny00:59:39I don't know those last ones. I've never seen them. I've never seen either of them. I've never seen Bugs Life or Ants.
Vic00:59:45You will not, Ants is a mess.
Sonny00:59:46Which one was the Woody Allen one? Was that Ants? That's Ants. Yeah. I've never actually seen either of them.
Vic00:59:52He falls in love with one of the younger baby ants that he's supposed to be taking care of.
Sonny00:59:55Oh, I'm sure that was fine.
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