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#75. The Substandard on Suburbicon, Hollywood Smugness, and … another Candy Draft?
Listen to this episode ↗on Substack, where the show lives now
Dudes Chatting — Hollywood smugness and smug-Hollywood movies: Sonny, Vic, and JVL use George Clooney's Suburbicon as a launching pad for a broader discussion of Hollywood's self-congratulatory streak. Sonny argues that Clooney — whose directorial debut and Oscar-winning screenplay were both bankrolled by Harvey Weinstein — makes films that project suburban racism and sickness onto the rest of America while Hollywood itself harbors the real rot, calling Suburbicon a "child's crayon drawing of a Coen Brothers movie." JVL agrees Clooney is no longer a genuine movie star and gets an all-access pass purely on celebrity, and adds his own list of insufferable Hollywood-navel-gazing films (Burn Hollywood Burn, Sofia Coppola's Somewhere). Vic nominates The American President for the way Aaron Sorkin uses Richard Dreyfuss's Bob Rumson character as a cartoon Bob Dole stand-in so Michael Douglas can deliver soaring speeches at the audience. JVL carves out an exception for State and Main as actual satire, and all three agree Hail, Caesar! works because the Coen Brothers deploy Clooney's blankness against him. Oscar Isaac is singled out as the one element of Suburbicon that transcends its director's choices.
Box Office: Jigsaw took the top spot at $16M; Suburbicon opened in roughly 2,000 theaters to about $2.8M and received a D− CinemaScore and 26% on Rotten Tomatoes. The hosts also note Geostorm continued its implosion in week two.
Reviews: Sonny delivers a scathing review of Suburbicon: the marketing gives away the entire plot, the Coen Brothers–pastiche tone never lands, the racial-injustice subplot is ham-fisted, and the film ultimately fails on every level — artistically and commercially. Verdict: don't see it. The episode also features a Gene Shalit candy top-10 (an outgrowth of a prior Candy Draft episode) in lieu of a Gene film review.
Spirit of the Week is Wassman's Single Malt Whiskey, a gift from Vic's brother-in-law Captain Bill Dwyer (Arlington County fire marshal).
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00Somebody make a note. I want, like, for the broad, what is she like? Lilacs. Okay, a truckload of lilacs when the broad comes. And, and get something for Bob Berenger. Get him... What is he like? Bob Berenger? Bob, Bob Berenger's in this movie? That's correct. He's staying here? Bob Berenger's... Put something in his room. What is he like? Fourteen-year-old girl. Well, get him something else. Let's try to get out of this town in one piece. Get him half a twenty-eight-year-old girl.
Vic00:00:29Hello, and welcome back to another edition of The Substandard, brought to you by Casper Mattress. I'm Victor Matys, along with Sonny Bunch and Jonathan V. Last. I'd like to remind you that The Substandard is available on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher. Just look at our podcast and search for Substandard. You'll easily find us. Please subscribe, tell your friends, and leave a review. In addition, we'd also like to remind you that Substandard show notes are sometimes posted by Jonathan Last on Fridays at 11 a.m. at weeklystandard.com. i think we're moving to occasionally okay occasionally uh why didn't you do it this week
Sonny00:01:03because i was busy editing the show well no what was the real reason though what was it what was the reason you stated on twitter tell everyone i honestly don't remember don't do you remember uh no you didn't see it no because of because of the results and the candy yeah but that turned around i won no you didn't i did
Vic00:01:24what if you look at the poll now what's the number what's the number i won what
Sonny00:01:30really yes well i haven't checked it i'm gonna check it right now because i don't necessarily we're taping this on tuesday yeah there's still time left we're taping this when
JVL00:01:42all right but the answer is the answer is no show notes okay no this week probably because I have too much work for my actual job.
Vic00:01:52And you gentlemen realize that last week we passed our one-year anniversary. Yeah. Can you believe that? And you didn't even take me out to dinner. And this is currently our 50th main episode, and two days ago was our 25th micro. So there you go. What are we going to do to mark the occasion? Have a drink. We're having it right now. See if this continues. Maybe we can just stop. Yeah.
Sonny00:02:22Can we just maybe stop?
JVL00:02:24Oh, okay.
Vic00:02:25JVL, how are you doing?
JVL00:02:28Okay. I'm a little bit better than I was last week. I was sick last week. Had everybody sick in the house this weekend. But the good news is, even as I've been sick, I've been out running. Because of my new Apple Series 3 Nike watch, having this $4,000 timepiece strapped to my wrist every morning has motivated me to get out. So here's what I've been doing. What I've been doing is I've been leaving my house about 4.30, and I leave. The key is, this is the key, you just roll out of bed, pull on your workout clothes, get in the car and drive to the office. Because if you do that, then you have to work out. Because you've got to get showered, you've got to put on your grown-up clothes and be dressed like a real person. That makes sense. And this way, when you get to the office, no matter how tired you are and how grumpy you are about it, you've got to go and work out.
Vic00:03:26And so I've been doing that. It's been great. I have two questions. What time did you go to sleep? Last night, about 11.30. 11.30 and you got up at?
JVL00:03:344.30 this morning. 4.30. Yeah.
Sonny00:03:37Here's my question. Why don't you, instead of working out, watch Stranger Things? You know, we talked about on Tuesday when we recorded the mini and now today is Thursday.
Vic00:03:46And Sonny, I think a lot of our listeners like Stranger Things.
Sonny00:03:48Yeah, a lot of our listeners like Stranger Things. They would love to have an episode about it. We might get like 50 downloads this week instead of 40. Mary Catherine is a big fan. No, but instead of running for an hour, you could watch an episode of Stranger Things. As your life coach, you asked me for my recommendation on one, two.
JVL00:04:07I suppose I could watch Stranger Things while I was running on my phone. Do you know what I watched this morning?
Sonny00:04:11On your phone?
JVL00:04:12On my phone. Spartan.
Sonny00:04:15Oh, that's a great one. That movie's really good.
JVL00:04:18I don't know how it had escaped me. Man, that movie's awesome. I'm a sucker for Mammoth. You've never seen it? No, never seen it. Oh, you've never seen it? Oh, it's great. Val Kilmer's great in it.
Sonny00:04:26It's like his low-key best performance. Clark Gregg is great.
JVL00:04:30Everybody is great.
Sonny00:04:31Well, that's really great. Wait, so you watched it on your phone?
JVL00:04:34Yeah.
Sonny00:04:35Or on your watch?
JVL00:04:36On my phone, because my watch, while it is amazing and it no longer trolls me, It does not have the capability to show me video yet. I'm assuming that's coming in an update.
Sonny00:04:47But you can get Netflix on your phone. Yeah, sure. Yeah, you can watch Stranger Things on your phone every morning while you're running. You can multitask.
JVL00:04:54So you think I should watch Stranger Things? So my running viewing should be Stranger Things.
Sonny00:04:59I don't see how that's any different than Spartan.
JVL00:05:02Well, Spartan is, I would say the miles fly by. With a good movie like Spartan, you've got to have a good movie. I could not watch the documentary Helvetica about the origins of the typeface Helvetica while on the treadmill because I want to die. Right. I mean, you need, you need, when you are running, right, in the same way, like certain types of music work well and certain podcasts work really well and certain audio books work really well.
Vic00:05:27How important is audio when you're running, watching a movie in terms of dialogue? Do you end up having to say, well, I might not catch everything they say, but it won't be important in this movie?
JVL00:05:38I'm not an old person, Vic. My hearing is quite good.
Vic00:05:41All right, so you can hear it while you're running and the machine's going on. Well, I have headphones, Vic. Earbuds or no?
JVL00:05:47You wear the full big thing or no? No, I have the PLB Sport Fit. They're very good. They're good Bluetooth headphones. For people who are runners who like to run and want wireless headphones, I would say these are probably the best thing you can get for under $100.
Sonny00:06:02Are they like earbuds? Do they just go right in?
JVL00:06:04No, they have plastic loops that go around. It's a hip hook on your ears. It's a hook over the ears to stick in it. Because earbuds for me, like when I start jostling up and down, they fall right out. There's no stability there.
Vic00:06:16Same thing for me when I have earbuds on and I'm just like sitting here. They'll just fall out of my ears. So anyway.
Sonny00:06:22I thought the gravity of your head would keep them in. Yeah, keep them sucked in.
Vic00:06:26No, but if you ever see, my ears are like, you know, what's his name from the Goonies? Chunk? Everyone says it's Chunk. Chunk is the fat kid. What is the name of the brother? Sloth. Oh, Sloth. It fits the same.
JVL00:06:42It might as well fit into the Sloth's ear. So you think I should watch Stranger Things starting at the jam?
Vic00:06:47If audio is not an issue for you, then yeah, go for it.
JVL00:06:50All right. Well, if you want to plan a Stranger Things episode, I could try to do one of those in a couple of weeks. We'll start with season one, but don't put it in season two.
Sonny00:06:58If you people want to hear it, you better share this episode and tell Vic and JBL and myself that you want to you want to hear it mention it on facebook yep if you don't like our facebook page they're going to take away this show that's what i've heard uh yeah sunny how are you doing i'm great i guess i don't know i'm fine uh what is your what did your daughter dress up as for halloween uh she went as a cat we got one of those like you know well so she actually did her trick-or-treating on saturday uh did you do trunk or treat i don't know what that is yeah me neither
JVL00:07:35what's trunk or treat i don't know it's something everybody does in the suburbs and i think it's vaguely church related but i've never done it myself i don't want to do it myself it sounds
Sonny00:07:44horrifying no well so we live in we live in like a little subdivision that is kind of surrounded on all sides by old folks homes so nobody comes to us like nobody comes to our easy marks nobody comes to our well shut up i don't want them to find out take katie be like all right go knock
JVL00:08:00her down take her person once in the day uh their hips are very delicate if you just touch them and
Sonny00:08:08they fall over i mean they're very delicate the hips they're very they're very they don't have very good balance you you stay away from the ones with the walkers because they have multiple points
JVL00:08:16of contact on the ground uh when you're assaulting the old down harder to put down uh no we did our
Sonny00:08:22we did our trick-or-treating on saturday uh and she dressed as a cat like a she had like a cat costume she really likes cats which is odd because we don't have a cat we have a dog
Vic00:08:32and you brought her to the office and i brought her to the office was adorable and she's in adorable mode now so you know there's usually you know kids go through these moments of you know i only want to be with mommy and or daddy or whatever stay away strangers the whole thing now she's in adorable mode and she comes over she comes to the office i said look at you she walks
Sonny00:08:50up to be arms stretched out just giving random giant headed monsters hugs it's terrifying is
Vic00:08:57she three now or two she's two but she's getting heavy and i carried her around and it was great and she's talking it was i miss that i miss i miss that that stage yeah it's pretty it's pretty
JVL00:09:10great if you want i could offload one of mine to you for however long to experience yes okay well
Vic00:09:18Is there a return policy?
JVL00:09:20No, I'm saying just as a lease. Oh, okay. Not forever. I mean, you can have Cordelia, obviously, but you can have one of the other ones.
Sonny00:09:30Yes. And it was great. It was like we did a little neighborhood walk around to go from like, I don't know, 10 of the houses sign up and think about candy or whatever, and then there was a little potluck afterwards. It was fine. It was fine, but the trouble with this was that Katie missed one of her other friends' birthday party, and she didn't realize that she had to make this decision. So for the week before it, she kept saying Charlotte's birthday party. And we were like, yeah, yeah, on Saturday, on Saturday. Because we had also forgotten that the trick-or-treating was happening. And then it started happening, and we were like, oh, no. Oh, and we thought, oh, maybe she'll just forget. Maybe she'll, no, no. Immediately after the trick-or-treating was over, she said Charlotte's birthday, Charlotte's birthday. And we were like, well, we'll have to get together.
JVL00:10:13I think they had to delay that because of the weather.
Sonny00:10:15Well, yeah, Charlotte's birthday is closed. that's what we that's a good way to put it so we also this weekend went to chucky cheese uh which is on the weekend on a sunday morning at like 10 45 how bad is it then it's not great i mean it's just crowded it's fine it's like but it's not as crowded as it could be because it was again it was like sunday at 11 in the morning um all of my chucky cheese time takes place between
JVL00:10:44four p.m and seven p.m on weekdays yes oh yeah yeah you gotta go like monday or tuesday or wednesday one time we have ever walked into a chucky cheese in the weekend we literally so i had the three kids myself so i had like one of them in the backpack and one of them in the front pack and cody was walking we walked in chucky cheese turned around and walked out yeah it was
Sonny00:11:04just i mean it's a it we so again we were there at 11 and already all of the like long tables in front of the tray or in front of the stage you know where we're reserved for birthday parties and there were kids running around everywhere it was it was it was pretty crazy but it was also but the reason we we we went there is because she started saying go to chucky cheese and we had been telling her that it was closed for weeks like no chucky cheese is closed now sorry inspector closed it sorry chucky cheese is closed uh it's a great excuse with kids you just tell them something's up sorry park's closed park's closed can't go there and they're like oh that's too bad and then they start saying something else that you have to tell them is closed. Anyway, that was my weekend lying to my child and trick-or-treating some.
Vic00:11:50My weekend. It's time for another edition of Woodshop Update. Did you get the picture for me? Cue the sound effect. Oh, no, we don't have that yet. Womp, womp. But you know what? I think some of our listeners actually are interested in Woodshop Update. Do you have a picture? I forgot to take a picture of the birdhouse, but I do have a picture of me using the bandsaw. And you used a band saw. Oh, my gosh. That turns out to be my, that I'm really good at that. I'm very adept. And, in fact, the instructor said, wow, you're really good. And I just, you know, I'm able to carve. Because, you know, we had to carve, like, the side of the wall of the feeder. And I'd been having problems using the other implements. And so I thought, you know, the band saw is just better. And then after I did that and get it close enough to the pencil mark, then Michael takes it over to the sander and we get it just right. But there's a lot of specialists. I'm trying to be, yes, a specialist. I have heard, however, that of all the different wood machine-related injuries, bandsaw is one of the most common. I mean, that thing, it's an oblong. It's weird. If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's an oblong razor. Sonny, you know about the bandsaws, right? And it goes, and it's on a motor. If only we had Facebook Live right now. That was a great photo. That was a great visual of Sonny raising his glass of whiskey. Oh, what these people are missing. Yes. And so that was great. Let me see the picture. Oh, yes. and table saw. So I had used the table saw several times, and they let Michael use the table saw. Wow. But that was pretty intense for him. I don't know if he, I mean, he liked the idea of it, but at the same time, here you go. Here's a photo. Look at you. Yeah, look at me. But table saw can be unnerving, and you mentioned this about being very careful.
JVL00:13:33That's nice. You're wearing your nice little gingham plaid. Yes. Very butch. I know, right?
Vic00:13:37Very butch. And you won't believe what I was wearing for pants.
JVL00:13:40were you my prana oh you're axiom yeah i said i thought you would go cargo shorts so you would have it's getting colder to put your to put your tape measure i normally souls i normally do but
Vic00:13:54of course as you know the prodigies have deep pockets so i really was very comfortable and i felt good uh doing oh hey this is after you cooked your hello fresh meal isn't it that is that is i didn't i didn't use it for twitter so hold on there's some other photos you don't need to see them uh anyway uh so i did that uh but again you have to be careful with the handsaw and we were actually making the sides uh for the bird freedom which are not glass but acrylic and i ran it through this is a bird mansion yes and it buckled a little bit when i ran it through the the handsaw and the table saw rather and not the handsaw the table saw and and then a chip flew out like shrapnel and that was crazy who did he get uh luckily nobody but michael picked it up your own personal vietnam i just you know some some people the vietnam was their 80s you know dating women and my personal vietnam was in the uh wood shop shop class shop class and running it by the way the tables are so my son does it and at the very moment he's running it through is the very moment i thought he should be wearing goggles because you're letting him do this without wearing goggles jesus christ i forgot and even sunny and a little bit of a little bit of sawdust
Sonny00:15:04got in his eye where is cps this is the child abuse yes and a little bit of sawdust got in his
Vic00:15:09eye then i was like are you okay are you okay yeah yeah i'm fine i'm fine and for a moment i thought he wasn't and he's gonna tear up and it it cleared up we could i said get the goggles so we got the goggles we're fine do you have to bring your own goggles or do they no they bring the everything
Sonny00:15:22is there so it's not like it's not like you forgot the goggles you left them at home you just chose not to wear the ones that are provided to you. I forgot.
JVL00:15:28I'm communal goggles.
Vic00:15:32I can't do that. Well, the giant glasses, the plastic glasses, you won't even use the glasses. JBL, obviously,
Sonny00:15:37if you were doing this class, you would go to the boutique goggle store to get the ones with the breathing vents on the side so it wouldn't fog up at all. You say the glasses, not goggles. Biometrics. I like the ones
JVL00:15:49that are with the slight yellow tint because you can see better when you see your marks better. That's what I have. You want the soft rubber nose pieces and then the soft arms around the...
Vic00:15:58It's like the guys, it's like the guy...
Sonny00:16:00We got to figure out who makes those so we can become a brand ambassador for that too. That would be great.
JVL00:16:04It's like Husky or something like that. Believe me, these are not my people.
Vic00:16:09It's like what they're wearing in certain scenes in Heat where people wear stuff like this. They go to the giant warehouse to buy their hardware and their weapons and the guys are there and they got stuff like that. The explosives? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.
Sonny00:16:21In Arizona, right? They went to Arizona. Yeah, they went to that. You can buy it with a driver's license in Arizona, Nevada.
Vic00:16:29Okay, we need to do a recap of one of the most outrageously popular episodes we've ever done.
Sonny00:16:36That's the worst thing I've ever heard. That's not even a transition. It's not even a pun. I don't even know what that was.
Vic00:16:44It's the Candy Draft recap, and we had some big news here. I can't believe this. Are you sure about this, JVL?
Sonny00:16:50He's a liar. He lost, and he was whipped.
JVL00:16:54I won. He was whooped. If you think about it, I kind of won.
Sonny00:16:56No, if you think about it, you lost. Are you going to play the, oh, you have more followers than me, so you got more votes? Is that what you're going to play? No, I won. You're going to play the percentages? He played that already. It doesn't matter.
Vic00:17:07By what number? Really? It was like an overnight. The only thing we missed.
JVL00:17:12Yeah. The only thing we missed. We drafted, but we didn't really review candy. If only we had. Oh. No, am I jumping the gun?
Vic00:17:22No, you can do it. That's fine. If we're done, if you're done with your other thoughts on candy.
JVL00:17:30I mean, I've been looking forward to this for like four days.
Vic00:17:32It's actually, you know what I heard.
Sonny00:17:34What the hell is going on right now? Sounds like you guys are doing a two-man show here.
Vic00:17:39Our friend Gene had listened to the candy draft, and he just felt left out, and he had his own top ten. Oh, okay. And so he wanted to just share his thoughts. Is that okay? Perfect. Please. Gene, come on in. oh look vick's gone bye vick happy halloween well jvl i guess congratulations to you on your sweet victory sunny thought it was in the bag but poor vick talk about candy crushed here's my draft picks and i'm surprised nobody took these because these are the best picks ever 10 number 10 in the spirit of sunny bunches anything king size number 10 anything by brax hard candies they're sweet choking hazards it's exciting number nine charleston chew you could do the charleston and eat it too i'm sorry what is charleston chew i don't even know what that is a little marshmallow and chocolate inside it's chewy like a taffy it's like easter in Halloween. So it's not like chewing tobacco because that's what I imagine when you say Charles David's shoe. No, not at all, Sonny. Not at all. Number eight, Zagnut. But it's kind of hard to find. A suitable substitute would have been Clark's. Number seven, Sun Made Raisins. Who doesn't love Who doesn't love Sun Made Raisins, right, Sonny? Do you like it? I hate it. Bad. You say one more bad thing about sun made and I'll be raised in hell. Number six. Necco wafers. For when you want something that doesn't taste like anything at all. Number five. The candy bracelet made in China. Always tasty. Why does it have to be made in China? Because if you look at it it is. Number four. Good and plenty. Not to be confused with rat poison pellets. Number three, payday. Because some people have chocolate allergies, so it's purely peanuts. And I guess no one is allergic to peanuts. Number two, dots. The assorted fruit-flavored gumdrops. An easy way to remove fillings, caps, and crowns. Chew on that. And number one, black licorice. How come you taste so good? Seriously Once you go black licorice Well gotta go Oh bye Bye Gene
Sonny00:20:24Bye Gene I It is We did totally ignore The licorice family Yeah Twizzlers There were no Twizzlers No like What are the I had red vines on my list Red vines Ah Red vines You did I did
JVL00:20:38I didn't draft them But they were there on the board
Sonny00:20:39And I'm glad that we ignored those Because they're trash Because Twizzlers taste like wax Red vines are better I think a little bit but they still have they still have
JVL00:20:48wasn't it a thing for you where you'd bite the two ends off the Twizzler and then drink your Dr. Pepper through it as a straw that's a thing you could do yeah we did that it was like a I would say there was one year when I ran age 12 that was like holy that was a thing to do
Vic00:21:02it was so cool and nothing bad happened it's not like Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola
Sonny00:21:06no I don't think so yeah right if you your stomach didn't explode
Vic00:21:09yes oh yeah
JVL00:21:10do you remember when Pop Rocks disappeared for a few years because of that because of the lawsuits or so I was told
Vic00:21:16right well And this is the thing. And these are rumors that you couldn't control because there was no internet. There was no way to stop people from spreading it.
Sonny00:21:22Oh, yeah. Because if there's anything we know about the internet is that it's great at stopping people from spreading horrendous bullshit. That's like the number one use of the internet is to put a tamp down all those rumors and off. I mean, come on. Garbage invention is going to destroy all of us.
Vic00:21:41Thank God for the internet.
JVL00:21:42So can I ask one candy question? Sure. Of you guys. I was surprised that none of us drafted gum in any form.
Sonny00:21:53Double bubble. Double bubble was on my list.
JVL00:21:55But my question for you is- Definitely not bazooka.
Vic00:21:58You're going to break your teeth on that.
JVL00:21:59What is your- With or without the comic strip. Are you guys gum guys? And if so, what is the greatest of all the gums? What is the Cadillac of gums? Okay.
Vic00:22:08First of all, do not be fooled by those fruit stripes. The one that had like a zebra was on the cover because there's so many different amazing flavors and amazing colors. The only way to make fruit strips last, I think, is if you put like five at the same time. Then you have a party, and that party will last for exactly five minutes. And then there's nothing left in your mouth. My favorite growing up was like Bubblicious Grape or Watermelon. I believe it's pretty good.
JVL00:22:33So you like the really soft bubble.
Vic00:22:35And get a big bubble going. I like to blow the big bubble. Okay.
Sonny00:22:39Yeah. Sonny. Well, you know how in like baseball games in the dugouts the teams would have like the big say big chew no no not the big league chew although i did love big league chew i really i love big league chew but like i'm the double bubble right that's like the pink like the it's about this big and yeah yeah it's about your ridges that's like your classic pink bubblegum love it i i would eat i would eat like a hundred pieces of big chew in a baseball game and just i would just put it i would just put it down uh i was definitely a big gum chewer in high school like up up until college and then when i was in college i kind of stopped because i didn't have it around um and wouldn't like make i mean like in the like pantheon of priorities of things in college like anything that doesn't have alcohol kind of quickly falls
JVL00:23:22to the wayside so okay jbl i was never a gum guy because i had braces for like seven years and couldn't chew gum but when i did the only gum i liked the gatorade gum gator gum wow i never had
Sonny00:23:34that uh it's gone now but gator gum was did it have electrolytes in it did you were you supposed
JVL00:23:39to chew it when you were like running yeah or something like that have you have you seen the new gatorade commercials they're great so during the world series there's been a lot of gatorade commercials and they the the the the whatever the proof whatever the advertising the setup for them is you know all of these young high school aged athletes and it's you know you think you're working hard well he's working hard too you think you have all the desire he's got the desire too And what is it that's going to separate you from that guy over there who wants to take your glory? Electrolytes. Electrolytes.
Sonny00:24:16I mean, that's what plants crave.
JVL00:24:19They say that the slug on it is something like, you know, victory is measured in ounces or something. And it's like, you know, you got to drink more ounces of your electrolytes to win because you can't win without the electrolytes. And so you have to drink more electrolytes than that guy over there. And that's how you get victory. It's amazing.
Sonny00:24:43That's perfect.
JVL00:24:43It really is perfect.
Sonny00:24:46That is like I am kind of shocked at how ubiquitous advertising for sports drinks are when all they are, it's just calories. And my favorite thing is if you ever look at like a package of a Powerade or Gatorade or something like that, it has like the little, it says calories. And then in parentheses, it says energy. And I'm just like, oh, that's good marketing.
Vic00:25:08That's good, yeah. This is interesting because in Germany, when you look at the nutrition info, they don't use calories. They use energy. That's what they say. They call it energy. How many units of energy is this?
Sonny00:25:20How many units of energy? I mean, look, that's great. Look, everyone needs 2,000 units of energy every day. Some of us get like 5,000. You know what I was going to say? I thought it was 5,000. More energy, better. The more energy, the better.
JVL00:25:31Oh, Gator gum. There it is. Gator gum. You know, I found it easier to buy into the Gatorade cult back when it tasted like piss. Because, I mean, the original Gatorade, which only came in, like, two flavors, the orange or the lemon lime. The yellow. Orange and yellow. Well, that actually looked like. So you could tell yourself, this is when we were, like, 10 or 11 years old. God, it must be good for you, because otherwise, why would anybody drink this? It's so horrible. Totally.
Sonny00:25:56When I was in middle school, there was a Gatorade machine in my Florida middle school that had, like, cans of either the yellow or the orange. And after I would go out and do, like, a hard, you know, like, two-mile run or whatever. You'd need electrolytes. I need electrolytes. I did a two-mile run. You need the electrolytes because that's what you need. Yeah. And it did taste like piss.
Vic00:26:18Here's a question for you guys. You're all tennis fans over here. Maybe you'll know the answer. What was the name of that, for the longest time, the only beverage allowed on court in Wimbledon? What was it? It was, like, a mixture. It was a powdered mix, wasn't it, of like a lemon lime. Our listeners will know about it. And they used to say, the players used to say they hated it all the time. Limeade? It was kind of like this. And that was the only one that they allowed on court. And then they would interview players and they'd say it tasted terrible. But if that's the only thing that they had, then that's what they had. And I imagine that that also probably provided energy.
Sonny00:26:50Energy.
Vic00:26:50Energy. Nutrients.
Sonny00:26:51The electrolytes.
Vic00:26:53For Andy. That's what you need. Andy Murray. Maybe that's the problem was that he was drinking too much of that. Okay. Well, I guess we could move on.
Sonny00:27:02We should just note for the record that I did win the candy draft decisively. I'm going to have to go back. I can't believe this. I decisively won the candy draft via the votes of our listeners.
JVL00:27:13If you think about it, I'm actually the one who won.
Sonny00:27:16No one actually thinks that, though.
Vic00:27:17We had a great listener who pointed out that-
Sonny00:27:19If anyone won that wasn't me, it was Vic. Don't get so upset about it. Because if you're like, Vic, who is popular? Who got 8% of the vote? Vic, he's the real winner here.
Vic00:27:27I stick to my principles. I'd never change, you know. Some people waver between chocolate and sugar seven times in their lives. You go back and forth, you know.
Sonny00:27:36You just want chocolate and peanuts. That's all you want.
Vic00:27:38That's all I want. Hey, Sonny, you like to grab those candies by the wrapper.
JVL00:27:42It sounds like you just need a good night's sleep, Sonny. Does it? Am I a little bit cranky? Maybe you should get a Casper mattress. Casper is a sleep brand that created an outrageously comfortable mattress and sold it directly to consumers, Eliminating commission-driven inflated prices, its award-winning sleep service was developed in-house, has a sleek design, and is delivered in a small, how-did-they-do-that-sized box. In addition to the mattress, Casper also offers an adaptive pillow and soft, breathable sheets. The mattress industry has forced consumers into paying notoriously high markups. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms and passing that savings directly to the consumer. An in-house team of engineers spent thousands of hours developing the Casper. It combines supportive memory foams for a sleep service that's got just the right sink and just the right bounce. Plus, its breathable design sleeps cool to help you regulate your temperature through the night. Buying a Casper mattress is completely risk-free. Casper offers free delivery and free returns with a 100-night home trial. If you don't love it, they'll pick it up and refund you everything. Casper understands the importance of truly sleeping on a mattress before you commit, especially considering you're going to spend a third of your life on this thing. Look, the Casper is an obsessively engineered mattress. It comes at a shockingly fair price. The product design features a marriage between the foam layers for ideal firmness. just the right sink and just the right bounce. It has an affordable price because Casper sells it directly to consumers with free shipping and free returns to the US and Canada. It has a 100 night trial, a free no hassle return if you're not happy. And with over 20,000 reviews and an average of 4.8 stars, it's quickly becoming the internet's favorite mattress. Casper is designed, developed, and assembled in the good old U.S. of A. Now, we have a special offer to listeners of the show. Get $50 toward any mattress purchase by visiting casper.com slash substandard and using the promo code substandard at checkout. That's casper.com slash substandard and use promo code substandard at checkout for $50 off. Terms and conditions may apply. How's that for a read, boys? That was wonderful. Workman-like? Absolutely.
Vic00:30:14Professional?
JVL00:30:15We are actually in the market for a new mattress. Oh, okay. The wife and I. Well, there you go.
Vic00:30:20Now might be the time.
JVL00:30:21I'm just saying, we've got two eyes on Casper.
Sonny00:30:25I can't believe you guys still sleep on a queen size.
JVL00:30:28I can't either because we have a lot. The queen size is fine for us, but when you have more than one child coming to hop into bed with you, the queen size is suddenly shockingly inadequate.
Sonny00:30:40Well, I remember when Beth and I got our place, the first thing we got was a king-size bed. Yeah.
JVL00:30:47So we have a king-size at the beach house, and it is a delight. That's crazy. My wife and I use a twin.
Vic00:30:55Believe me, it fits fine.
Sonny00:30:57Do you use one of the, like, 50-style ones that, like, separate? Like on the sitcoms, you know, you can, like, because you can't have anybody in the same bed together?
Vic00:31:07Well, they're not connected. They're not connected at all. Sure, well, that's what...
JVL00:31:12Why would they be? Oh, I'm remembering something, Victorino. I'm remembering something.
Vic00:31:20I'm really terrified about this one. Nope, no, he's shaking his head. Too hot for the show. Wow, that is really scary.
Sonny00:31:25I'm just going to assume you guys shared a twin-size bed once. I don't remember.
Vic00:31:29Convention, possibly. I don't remember, and that's the problem. Oh, yeah, okay. Well, anyway, speaking of mattresses, Jigsaw took the top spot with $16 million at the box office.
Sonny00:31:44Shouldn't you have done your handyman update or whatever with the jigsaw?
JVL00:31:50Oh, speaking of woodshop opportunities. We could have transitioned to the jigsaw. Okay, here we go.
Vic00:31:55We're editing that out. We're editing it out. Here we go again. Speaking of woodshop, Jigsaw took the top spot with $16 million, followed by Tyler Perry's Boo 2, a media, a media Halloween, media, sorry, with $10 million. A media Halloween. It was the spookiness of the mainstream media. That's what scared all of the viewers. I was thinking of Greek tragedy. In third place was Geostorm. Talk about a natural, talk about a disaster film. Go on. $5.7 million on a $120 million budget. No, it did better than that.
Sonny00:32:34It did better than $5.7 million. Okay. You copied the wrong number. I did box office mojo yesterday. I think that's just Friday, or maybe it's just Monday. I'll effort it. Were you looking at Monday?
Vic00:32:42Just keep talking.
JVL00:32:43I will effort it.
Vic00:32:44All the way down in ninth place was Suburbicon. Yep. But I guess it hasn't been released in many theaters.
JVL00:32:52Oh, what? Oh, no. What? What? Oh, no. Higher? Vic was right. Ooh. $5.9 million for the opening weekend.
Sonny00:33:02For the weekend for Geostorm?
JVL00:33:04October 27th to 29th, 5.9. Oh, that is a disaster.
Sonny00:33:09No, it's the second weekend.
JVL00:33:10It's the second weekend? Oh, is that the second weekend?
Sonny00:33:13Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Vic00:33:14Oh, that's right. That's why I was confused. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Suburbicon, this is only its first week. This is Suburbicon's first week. But it's not like a wide release. It's not 3,000, 4,000 theaters.
Sonny00:33:24No, it's in like 2,500 theaters.
Vic00:33:26Okay, so it did about 13 points to 7 million.
Sonny00:33:28Oh, okay. So let's not get 13 points up.
JVL00:33:31Yeah, okay.
Sonny00:33:31Can you go back to the weekend? chart this weekend or last weekend this weekend this weekend uh suburbicons in 2000 theaters
Vic00:33:42okay yeah did about 2.8 2.8 million sunny you saw is that good yes it's marvelous with lowest score it's bad or no it's great if it opened in one theater yeah uh it didn't just get 2.8 million
Sonny00:33:56dollars at the box office it also did something like 26 fresh on rotten tomatoes where i am oh I'm on Rotten Tomatoes I never knew that I know it comes as a surprise I'm an extremely well respected and beloved film critic in America and it also did a D minus cinema score which is you gotta try hard to get a D minus and they did try hard let me tell you how you get a D minus cinema score or how you get say an F cinema score as mother did earlier in the year cinema score measures solely this is the only thing it's measuring how well you meet audience expectations and the way you get a d or an f from cinema score is by lying to audiences in your ad campaigns by telling them that they're getting something else so if you market say drive as a fast and furious style action adventure movie with you know charismatic lead performances and kind of some humor from brian cranston and that sort of thing you're going to get shattered by audiences on cinema score because they are going to hate you because you lied to them because that's not what the movie is it's a great movie don't get me wrong i love drive drives great movie uh but it is not the movie that it was advertised as this is the same thing that happened to mother mother was kind of sold as a horror film it was sold as a like a spooky we're gonna scare you and it's haunted house kind of maybe maybe it's like rosemary's baby who's no who knows really what's going on here and it was not that movie at all it It was a much different kind of biblical allegory sort of thing, and audiences hated it, got an F. The reason that Suburbicon gets a D- is because, I would say two reasons. Number one, the advertising campaign gives away almost the entirety of the plot. Like, the things you see in the trailers for this movie, it's like the whole second and third act. It's actually, like, I was actually kind of stunned when I was watching it happen, because I was like, I know exactly what's going to happen next. I know what's going to happen next. This is going to happen. Then this is going to happen. Then this is going to, Oh, Holy shit. It's, this is literally what's it. And, and, um, that's bad. That's bad, but it's not terrible. Uh, cinema score wise. The reason why it got killed on cinema score is because the, the first act of the movie is all about how, uh, this place Suburbicon can't handle the fact that a, uh, black family has moved in. Cause you know, the suburbs are racist and bad. Yeah. And now filled with, filled with terrible people who are bigots and just want to be around white bread folks like them. And so this black family moves in and there are town meetings and then as the movie progresses there are these crowds that surround the house and shout it down. And then towards the end of the film there's a riot, all the white folks riot and break into the house and throw a confederate flag. So what you have been promised is kind of a Coen Brothers-esque um dark comic thriller crime type movie something like uh i i don't even know like a blood simple crossed with the man who wasn't there maybe i don't something something in that vein and instead what you get is this ham-handed george clooney directed movie uh that is about uh racial bigotry and oppression and uh in and and how the suburbs are terrible and awful and also uh we're going to show you all the things that happen in the movie in the trail it was such a horrible such a horribly marketed movie that i'm not surprised a nobody went to go see it and b that the people who did see it hated it um because it is not a good movie it's not a good movie it's like you remember when that that woman like tried to touch up the painting of jesus yes and and she did such a horrible job of it it looked like a like a child like a like a child had taken a crayon and drawn that is basically uh what we have here this is the george clooney child's crayon drawing of a coen brothers movie it is not funny um and not only is it not funny it is kind of ham-handed and ham-fisted in this sort of uh preachy angry way that george clooney is he's such a smug prick, really, when it comes to how great Hollywood is compared to the rest of the country and how advanced it is and how Hollywood was giving awards to Hattie McDaniel when the rest of the country was making black people sit in the backs of theaters. Of course, she herself was sitting in the back of the nightclub or wherever where they accepted the Oscars because she was in a non-integrated hotel in Los Angeles in the 1940s. it really right in los angeles in los angeles how could that be anyway this movie is it's it's atrocious on a number of levels just artistically it's not very good and uh what it promises it doesn't deliver and uh the only thing i liked about it oscar isaac oscar isaac has a natural term that will break through any uh nonsense's director slap on him uh so i you know don't go see it uh not that you will because nobody is and uh you know you'll be you'll be happier for it
Vic00:39:09uh i remember the first time i saw oscar isaac ever was in that uh ryan gosling movie i think drive drive yeah he was in drive he was a game guy comes out of prison he comes out of prison
Sonny00:39:19and he's trying to get get straight with the mob and they set him up and they and i did not like
Vic00:39:24him but in the sense that he was so convincingly somebody i mean he played it so well that he's not
Sonny00:39:29perfect yeah he's also great in sucker punch he's he's like he runs the mental hospital in sucker punch if if you have yet to pick up the blu-ray director's cut of sucker punch it's available for ten dollars or so on amazon you should buy it should definitely buy he's great as the like head of the museum he like kind of is that yeah and of course lewin davis inside
JVL00:39:50lewin davis yeah when is george clooney's all access pass to hollywood going to be revoked i don't know what that means so george can do whatever he wants because he's george clooney and he's a movie star and so if he wants to make a picture it gets made if he wants to direct a picture he can do that he has never directed a successful movie uh well we should qualify that
Sonny00:40:17and say commercially successful because good night good luck did win some oscars and that is that is a valuable thing to people in Hollywood. Regardless of
JVL00:40:25box office. It may have won a couple Oscars, but I would say that the mass of critical judgment on Good Night, Good Luck, it is a pretentious piece of crap. And in his acting, he has been in one successful movie in the last 16 years. Yeah. Alec Baldwin famously said that if you have a hit, you then get like a six-year all-access pass to hollywood where you can make anything you want and at the end of that time if you haven't made another hit you just get cast out into the darkness um which is basically what happened to him he became a character actor because all of his attempts after hunt for red october to be a movie star failed george clooney is not a movie star anymore he's a famous person he's a celebrity but he is no longer a movie star and i you know it it is almost as if hollywood isn't interested in making money but continuing to hand him things and i mean look i'm sorry patty jenkins
Sonny00:41:23couldn't have directed this movie i uh what i what i would say what i did there yeah a lot going on in there i don't know where to begin there's uh i the the one thing i would say is you're right about george clooney he's not in he's not a movie star in the sense that he doesn't open movies on his own outside of the oceans films which are kind of built on the backs of several different celebrities at once i mean i i don't know that the oceans film succeed without brad pitt and matt damon in addition to george clooney um outside of those movies he is not a draw he's not he's not somebody that people are interested in going to see at movies um and his directorial uh efforts have all been somewhere between bad and very bad i would say like confessions of a dangerous mind is kind of interesting there are some interesting things going on in it um leatherheads but Leatherheads is this awful... Ides of March.
JVL00:42:18Ides of March. I kind of like Ides of March. I kind of liked it too.
Sonny00:42:21I don't love it, but I do like it. And I do think that Ryan Gosling is very good at it. To come back to him. But yeah, no, I think you're right. I mean, look, I think here's... George Clooney has charisma. And I think that that charisma translates both on screen and in person. And he can go into any studio he wants and get a check for $10 or $20 million to make a movie. And I do think that, look, I'm not actually opposed to that sort of business model. I think that that is fine. I just wish that better movies were the result of it.
JVL00:42:55Yeah, I mean, it's fine. I'm sure there are some set designers or Foley artists who have ideas for movies who could use a $20 million check to make a movie, but they don't get to make them, even if they're really, really good and the best in their side. It's because, you know, George Clooney put them on magazine covers. Put them on magazine covers. It doesn't matter that he is exactly as much of a commercial draw as the Foley artist.
Sonny00:43:20It is actually fascinating. So I remember in my review of Suburbicon, I kind of let off of this. Which is, excuse me, sensational. Thank you. Everyone should, if it was in show notes, you should read it. Or you could just Google my name and Suburbicon.
Vic00:43:34Can I just say this also? I actually edited Sonny's piece. And one of my great pet peeves of all time as an editor, and I've been doing this for 20 years, is the paragraph-long sentence where it's a paragraph, but if you read it carefully, it's just one long sentence. And that's just ridiculous. And I said, break it up. You've got to chop it up. Come on. I'm running out of breath reading this sentence, even in my brain. But I looked at Sonny's, and he had a paragraph-long sentence, and I said, this is one of those few exceptions where I can't touch it. It is not to blow smoke up there, but I'm just saying. It's an amazing thing. A few people could pull off the one paragraph sentence. And I'm not trying to encourage you to do more of it.
Sonny00:44:15No, you'll notice I never have stuff like that because it's showy and pretentious. But this is how I felt about the movie. It worked. I let off that review with a story about how George Clooney and Matt Damon were on the PA tour right now doing press, trying to support. Or they were anyway. They're not anymore because nobody's going to see this movie and nobody will. and of course they're asked about harvey weinstein and you know like the interesting thing about how could they hollywood nobody knew right is that everyone knew nobody knew is that george clooney whose directorial debut in person george clooney's directorial debut uh executive produced by harvey weinstein he barely he was just some guy who was credited on the film matt damons oscar winning uh writing job on goodwill hunting executive produced by harvey look he met him at
JVL00:45:08One party wants.
Sonny00:45:09No, they would never have any. But this is, so this is, if you are a normal, average Joe American, you're just out there going to the movies and you're seeing all these films about how the suburbs are terrible, American Beauty, you know, Disturbia, Pleasantville, you know, all these movies about how just the conformity and there's this sickness underneath it. Maybe it's a giant effing case of projection. You know, maybe, maybe Hollywood thinks that the rest of the country is covering up for the sickness right below the surface because of people like Harvey Weinstein or say Kevin Spacey or say hundreds of other people you could name in this space. You know, I like there's a reason that movies like this fail. And I think it's because, look, I don't want to make a big grand statement about the state of Hollywood and what audiences want from it. But maybe we're kind of tired of this sort of thing. And the obvious hypocrisy of it all. Thank you.
Vic00:46:17That was great. It was so great to have Andy Rooney in our office, in our studio here for his little 60-minute segment.
Sonny00:46:25You know what grinds my gears?
Vic00:46:28No, I agree with that 100%. We wanted to talk a little bit about Smug Hollywood. Did you have a favorite little pet peeve Smug Hollywood movie you want to talk about? I do, and I think Jonathan had one in mind as well. You go first. Okay, all right. Here's one that I actually technically like on technical grade. Technically, it's great to watch, but when you get down to it- Hold on, let me guess. It'll beat you over the head. Let me guess. The player. No, no, no, no, no, no. And I like the player, too. The American President. And I love Dave. And I said, oh, the American President's great. You know, great performances. Michael Douglas. Who doesn't like Michael Douglas?
JVL00:47:07Wait, you prefer the American President to Dave? No, no, no, no, no.
Vic00:47:09I love Dave. So going into it, I thought, oh, okay, this is great. And I know it's Rob Reiner. That's fine. I, you know, politics, whatever. Aaron Sorkin wrote it, right? And then it proceeds to beat you over the head. This is 1995. Who is the villain in the American President? It's is it the NRA? No, no. Richard Dreyfuss, who plays Bob Rumson, the Republican from Kansas in 1995. Gee, who might that be? Oh, yeah. You know, and it's like, remember when Bob Dole was evil? Remember when Bob Dole was like, that's that's the bad guy is Bob Dole.
JVL00:47:44You know, the worst, the most dangerous man in the history of the Republic.
Vic00:47:47Right. No, absolutely. And he went and then you had Michael Chase. Until the next one. Exactly. Well, that's exactly right. I have to run the end. But there's a line. So they're having this debate in the Oval Office about, you know, the president. You need to say something. Michael J. Fox is like the Stephanopoulos character and saying you need to get out there. And the people are willing to drink water. And it's a mirage. And even if it's sand, they'll drink it because, you know, it's the only thing they got. And then I got I copied and pasted this line of dialogue from Andrew Shepard, Michael Douglas. And he responds to Lewis, who is Michael J. Fox. He goes, Lewis, we've had presidents who were beloved, who couldn't find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty. They drink the sand because they don't know the difference. I don't even know what's happening, but you're supposed to think, yes, I'm voting for that guy.
Sonny00:48:38Vote Quimby. In the world of George Stephanopoulos mock-ups in movies, the Michael J. Fox one is good, but the Martin Short one. Yes, Martin Short in Mars Attacks is the all-time best.
Vic00:48:51The hair is really good.
JVL00:48:52it just is yeah yeah yeah that was very good uh jvl you know i i have a special place in my heart hate wise whatever the whatever the version of special place in your heart for things you hate uh for hollywood writing about themselves so hollywood movies about hollywood that are they're humblebrags right they're satirical but yeah but not really and like burn hollywood burn because you know what really matters the movies the movies right you can like we could save the world if we would just love one another more and love the movies so burn hollywood burned this terrible cannonball run movie uh directed by arthur hiller who it's a movie about alan smithy do people know this alan smithy so if you the director's guilt rules if you get your name taken off the picture as the director it gets credited as alan smithy so burn hollywood burn is about an alan smithy movie it is directed by arthur hiller and then arthur hiller got into a fight with the studio about the movie after the fact and in fact took his name off of it and it became actually directed by an alan smithy all which led to the dga killing the alan smithy pseudonym so you can't have that anymore and that is like the player and like somewhere the sofia coppola the precious this little Sofia Coppola 2010 movie about being at the Chateau Marmont. It's just, you know, it's Hollywood and it's ennui and these people are terrible. They're not that terrible and they're kind of endearing and charming. But they're so hardworking.
Sonny00:50:30And they just love the craft.
JVL00:50:32Just, man, I hate. In the same way that I hate journalism pieces about journalists, to my mind, writers writing about writing is like the worst, most boring form of journalism.
Vic00:50:48That's not true. M. Night Shyamalan is looking for the great writer in that movie. Oh, The Lady in the Water. Yeah, I know, that was wonderful.
JVL00:50:54Yeah, I just, I hate it. I hate it with A Fire of a Thousand Suns. The one exception being State in Maine. State in Maine is... With David Mamet, which is not humble bragging. It's like an actual satire. Yeah.
Vic00:51:08What's the most recent one that happened in Boston for the Archdiocese and the Child Spotlight? Yes, I actually thought that was a good movie.
Sonny00:51:16Yeah, but that's a Hollywood movie about journalism, which is different than a Hollywood movie about Hollywood or a journalism piece about journalism.
JVL00:51:25Sonny, what do you hate?
Sonny00:51:27I think you have heard what I hate. I feel like I did a solid 10 minutes of my hates. No, look, I actually don't even hate the idea of critiquing the suburbs. I think the Coen brothers have made a giant career out of making fun of the kind of foibles and sensibilities of what happens there from Raising Arizona all the way up through, I don't know. You know what? Oh, actually, I'm sorry. You know what's a good movie about Hollywood that isn't terrible? Hail, Caesar. Oh, yeah. Hail, Caesar's actually, you should watch it. You should watch it on your phone.
Vic00:52:07It does have George Clooney, but George Clooney being bad.
Sonny00:52:09Well, this is, so, you know, one of the things I hate about George Clooney is he always mugs for the camera in Coen brothers movies. They don't, I don't think they quite know how to control him in, in the way that they control the rest of their actors. Like I can't watch what's the, what's the bluegrass one. Oh brother, we're out there. I just can't watch that movie. I hate it. I hate his stupid face in it. And hail Caesar works because he is not in a lot of it. And when he is in it, he's playing a stupid actor who thinks he knows more than he does. And it's, It's actually like kind of perfect.
JVL00:52:42It's like Matt Damon in Interstellar.
Sonny00:52:44Yes, no. I mean, it is very much like casting him as Dr. Man. Yeah. Anyway.
Vic00:52:49And then Josh Brolin bitch slaps him. Yes. At the end to do his job. You have worth because the work has...
Sonny00:52:55You would actually... As a Catholic piece of cinema, it is actually very fascinating and interesting. You should definitely see it. Okay. You should see it. You will like it. Right after this.
Vic00:53:06Both of us would recommend that. Anyway. Okay. Well, do we have any other sort of corrections, additions, or other thoughts, things we might have forgotten? Mistakes? I have one thought. Yes.
JVL00:53:19Preparing for this episode, which I clearly spent minutes doing, I stumbled upon the original theatrical trailer for L.A. Confidential.
Vic00:53:30Oh.
JVL00:53:32But this is another case in what you were just talking about with Drive and selling movies as movies they are not. Ellie Confidential, one of my favorite movies of the last 20 years. It's amazing. I don't know if you remember the trailer, but it is a voice of God doing in a world where three cops who couldn't be more different have to come together to solve one big case. It is unfathomably bad as a piece of cinematic trailer art. And this came at a moment, I actually wrote a piece about this like 10 years ago for the Wall Street Journal. We are now in a golden age of movie trailers, having emerged from basically the dark ages of movie trailers in the 90s and early 2000s, where you can take a movie like Pearl Harbor, which is a terrible, terrible movie, and create an unbelievably wonderful two and a half minute version of it for the trailer. But back in the dark ages, you could take an amazing movie like L.A. Confidential and cut it into a horrible two-minute, 20-second trailer.
Sonny00:54:37Well, I mean, it really is just kind of – the reason trailers are better now is because they are kind of treated like we treat screenplays now. Like, if you put voiceover in a trailer, people are going to be like, hmm, something's wrong. Something's wrong with this.
JVL00:54:53Absolutely right. We should be – yes, the voiceover. It is amazing to me that it took like 40 years for Hollywood to understand that if you have to give the voiceover in the trailer, then you're failing to tell the story of the movie. Yeah.
Vic00:55:07Yeah. Okay. That's what I have. I don't think I have anything. Spirit of the Week is Wassman's Single Malt Whiskey. So it is not trying to be bourbon. It's trying to be more like a scotch. It's a gift actually from brother-in-law Bill Dwyer. What does he do for a living? He is a fire marshal and a captain in Arlington County.
JVL00:55:33So does he look at the fires or does he fight them?
Vic00:55:36He's like Robert De Niro's character in Backdraft. He comes after now. He used to be there during, and now he comes after to figure out is something arson or whatever. Also, but he has to do the annoying sort of, you know, hey, bar people, you have too many people in your bar. You know, you got to, you know, it's because, you know how they say, but what are the fires? there's always a plaque and they actually go check and he says usually they go out you know somewhere on clarendon boulevard and there's it's like 2 a.m there's a long line and it's they're all drunk you know fights breaking out but also women love the firemen i'm just gonna say
Sonny00:56:09that oh can i wear your hat you know the whole thing and the copy editors and they love copy
Vic00:56:15editors can i see a red pen so it's not a pen okay sorry sorry it's a little late for that sorry red I just, you know, come on. It's 56 minutes. I'm just moving on. All right, let's go. Let's just close this out. This is a terrible show. Okay, great. Speed of the Week was that. That's all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, complaints, compliments, tweet us at Victorina Mattis, at Sonny Bunch.
Sonny00:56:38At JV Last.
Vic00:56:40Again, be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes, Google Play. Just type in substandard under podcast, and we're there. Leave a review. Tell your friends. Don't forget. Ah, forget about the substandard show notes. until next time
JVL00:56:53this is an iconic picture
Vic00:57:06you know what the caption is one year of substandard that's the that's the caption
JVL00:57:14so I guess we have the answer to our question of how long the show could go on before we have nothing we have nothing to talk about and no interest in continuing to do it the answer is 50 episodes is this number 50?
Vic00:57:29this is number 50 we've been doing it for one calendar year
Sonny00:57:32we missed a couple episodes
Vic00:57:33that's correct and I don't know the only thing I feel like we haven't done yet is maybe a sort of a John Hughes could we do a clip show? a clip show would be great
Sonny00:57:44we should do a fake clip show where we come in and we just like do bits So Gabe Rossman
JVL00:57:51Has written a program To go through and find All of the Gene bits And stitch them together for a show That's all Gene
Vic00:58:01An all Gene show I have not heard about this
JVL00:58:03So that I don't have to go and do it myself Well I'm sure that'll be fine
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