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#47. The Substandard on Spider-Man, Amelia Earhart, and Cured Meats
Listen to this episode ↗on Substack, where the show lives now
Dudes Chatting — Amelia Earhart and "In Search Of": The episode opens on the History Channel special claiming photographic proof that Amelia Earhart survived her disappearance — a claim quickly debunked when the photo was traced to a 1935 Japanese travel book predating her final flight. This pivots into a nostalgic look at In Search Of, the Leonard Nimoy–hosted paranormal documentary series, and its template of presenting fringe theories as plausible mysteries.
Reviews: Spider-Man: Homecoming — Sonny calls it inconsequential but fun, praising the Iron Man–heavy structure and especially the teen ensemble, noting that Flash Thompson has been reimagined as a Southeast Asian overachiever rather than a blond bully. He singles out the Vulture's "I did this for her" reveal as giving the villain unexpected depth. JVL rates it 6.5–7, notes his son gave it 500 out of 10, and praises the decision to skip the origin story and relocate the action to a Bronx Science–style setting. Vic does a Gene Shalit parody review awarding five stars with an avalanche of puns. Rankings of 2017 comic book films follow: Sonny puts Logan above Spider-Man: Homecoming above Wonder Woman above Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2; JVL interjects that Spider-Man: Homecoming is "incontrovertibly better made than Wonder Woman."
Closes with a Corrections segment (zero corrections, noted as a first for the show) and Spirit of the Week (Woody Creek Colorado potato vodka).
Full transcript
Vic00:00:00Hi, I'm Bill Kristol. Donald Trump has to put up with Donald Trump Jr., and I have to put up with The Substandard.
Guest00:00:15So to become an Avenger, are there like trials or any of you just don't do anything I would do and definitely don't do anything. I wouldn't do There's a little gray area in there, and that's where you operate. Oh, all right. That's not a hug I'm just grabbing the door for you. All right, kid. Good luck out there
Vic00:00:38Hello and welcome back to TheSubstandard, sponsored by Dollar Shave Club. Stop spending a fortune on gimmicky shave tech you don't need. Make the smarter choice by joining Dollar Shave Club. Get your first month for only five bucks with free shipping by going to DollarShaveClub.com/Substandard I'm Victor Matus along with Jonathan Viola Last and Sonny Bunch. I'd like to remind you TheSubstandard is available on iTunes and Google Play Just look at our podcasts and search for Substandard. You'll easily find us. Please subscribe, tell your friends, leave a review In addition, we'd also like to remind you TheSubstandard show notes posted by Jonathan Last are available every Friday at 11 a.m. at WeeklyStandard.com
Sonny00:01:22Maybe this Friday. We'll see. Maybe. Stay tuned. Have we been good enough this this week to To marry? To disappoint?
JVL00:01:27I haven't decided. I'll let you know at the end of the show. So, how are we, JVL? I am great. I had an awesome weekend. My wife and I split the children up in a way we've never done it before where she took my older daughter and the baby and I had my oldest son and the younger daughter and this is a configuration we've never actually done before and I was reminded how unbelievably easy it is to manage only two children. That's my nightmare. The entire weekend was just an overflowing cup full of joy because it's so easy doing just two kids. I can't even tell you. What people don't appreciate is that children are like resistance training and so whatever number of children is your normal thing is like running with 20 pound weights strapped to your ankle and then you go down one or two and it's like popping off the ankle weights and feeling like
Sonny00:02:27you could jump over the moon this is like you should do like a crossfit for daddies like you know like this is how this is how we train you had to have an extra kid we give you five kids for a week then we take them all away right then you have two kids and you're great yes that's right Sonny I had I've been enjoying myself recently you know a lot of people when they get a house they like to do they like to improve upon it and they like to you know they hire someone to come in and fix things or do it themselves and and when I when I was with their own hands when I was gifted the basement when I was gifted the basement from my wife who said you can do whatever you want to it I was like you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna put bookshelves in down here and instead of like hiring someone to come you know build bookshelves what I've done is I've basically created a favela of bookshelves just like basically so I I put in the I the old lexvic uh bookshelf from Ikea with along with my lexvic cd slash dvd containers that's like two-thirds of the wall and then I took some plywood I'm sorry
JVL00:03:33is this a finished basement or an unfinished basement it's a finished basement it's a finished
Sonny00:03:36it's nice it's got carpet okay and you know but the walls are framed oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah okay uh and then uh I jammed some plywood next to the open space where there was uh where there was no bookshelf and then thankfully one of our neighbors moved and they said hey we've got some shelves that go up in like that and I was like I would like those shelves I would like to have those shelves and so now I've got essentially three competing aesthetic visions of shelves kind of all on top of each other piled full of books it's the greatest thing you've ever seen that's very please uh maybe I will I don't want people to see what my my that's very city of god bookshelf all right we'll see all right we'll see we'll we'll I'll see if we can we can accomplish that also if you're if people loyal listeners of the show remember we were just celebrating amazon prime day and I got a kindle white I got the or the paper paper white kindle yes thank you the paper white kindle yes uh thank you mr bezos please don't yeah it was just a slip of the tongue it was but the but it it uh it is has greatly improved my life I used to have a crappy regular kindle like some sort of poor and now I have the super kindle I didn't go kindle voyager that'll probably be my next step up actually kind of a ripoff it seems it seems unnecessary paperweight is a better so anyway our machine anyway uh uh all praise to bezos I had a great prime day peace be upon bezos I hope everyone uh uh had a similarly fun fun time I don't read ebooks actually I don't read books so anyway uh my uh that was really like two words
Vic00:05:09too long it should just be I don't read me don't read uh how was your weekend oh thank you JVL uh we uh the fourth of July my wife and I left the kids behind with my parents in Jersey and then it was just me and my wife until Sunday so it was loving lots of civilization what lots of
JVL00:05:27people don't understand though is that your wife does it with you she does she does and she's she's
Vic00:05:32not as good as I am but uh no we uh in fact can you can you explain to people yes the style different styles she's learning from me you know she she is I said you have to eliminate the other people on the continent because it's only a matter of time before your friends and allies turn against you because there's only room for one it's going to be constant war and so she finally took my advice but she doesn't like it she doesn't like to fight you know and she just likes to do her own thing building her granaries in a perfect world she'd be in her own little continent alone leave me alone and you know until the battleship shows up you know and they're still and she's on a but I'm working on my hanging garden yes yeah the hanging garden of Babylon uh and uh on Saturday I said you know what um I I needed to get paid I don't work at the city anymore uh so I just can't walk down the street to uh get a pair of pants so I said we're gonna go to the mall I said on Saturday because I used to go to the gap where the Brooks Brothers down by the office but now I'm here I go to the office go home go to the office go home and so uh so we're gonna go to uh the
Sonny00:06:32fashion city at Pentagon uh the Pentagon City Mall yeah it's the Pentagon City Mall C-E-N-T-R-E it's not it's not you were just you don't buy into their hype so you went Saturday
Vic00:06:43night oh no no no no I know where you're going with that I know where you're going and that's not that's not a metro stop there that's not appropriate for this kind of a podcast I don't know there's a metro stop there Vic yes no we went for lunch time on Saturday um and I said wow I haven't been here for a while but let's split up and I'll meet up with you later and I'll I'm just gonna go to Britches of Georgetown Instructure Britches of Georgetown I love Britches of Georgetown I said what what are these places I have no idea these new stores so I go to there was actually Holister what is Holister right no I didn't so uh we went so there was like a sale at Banana Republic and then there was a sale at like The Gap for 40 percent off you know pants off in fact right khakis but here's my big complaint everything now is this whole slim fit business what is this this is ridiculous there's no holy god yes there's no
Sonny00:07:35gusset and crotch when was the last time you went to buy clothes for yourself 97 or 98 you know which was what two years ago I mean we're actually out of the slim fit you know it's like we've like gone through three cycles that's why it was on
Vic00:07:49sale Sunday but I could barely get my foot through the hole and then that I barely breathed was that with the gout yeah no regular and it's tight everywhere let me just say that it's tight everywhere I could barely I'm about to lose consciousness you know there's a one pair of pants you could wear that's perfect with a gusseted crotch yes yes well if our boss let lets
Sonny00:08:09us wear jeans of the office maybe we'll do that no so here's my my only question about your trip to the Pentagon City Mall did you go to the best pizza place in the world CPK California Pizza Kitchen oh dare you don't let them better than the Sparrow that's I would say well look I mean if there's a Sparrow right there if there's a Sparrow right there in a CPK I'm obviously going to Sparrow which one do you walk into but but but that's not the case at the Pentagon City Mall they only have the California Pizza Kitchen so you got to go get the barbecue chicken pizza at the CPK there's a Panda Express there there is I got the place with the the chicken the bourbon chicken what's that place oh yeah yeah Cajun Grill no I went to
Vic00:08:52Popeyes and Kate Kate didn't know what to do so she said oh I'll just I'll just get Popeyes with you go fine we'll get the four piece because I know how she is she's not gonna have much of the chicken and sure enough as soon as I saw her with the fork and knife the plastic fork I said this chickens mine I got this I got this covered with the delicious coleslaw and the potatoes okay yes who
JVL00:09:14did you guys who did you guys play as oh you mean it's civilization and which
Vic00:09:18which edition were you playing oh no five I don't want to play sick they say six is bad I played China and you know what I said I'm just gonna try to do my own thing I've won before obviously so let me just try to do but you know what I always get drawn into military cop I don't understand Kate played as the English I forget who she was but she had to deal with the
JVL00:09:37Japanese you separate rooms right do you yeah wait no she did a civilization one
Vic00:09:41room you did the other or no no no we don't we were playing each other what
JVL00:09:47makes you think we were I get anything JVL all right there'll be some civilization fetish gear yes yes like I was wearing a crown
Vic00:09:57yes never could I say call call me Nebuchadnezzar I tell her and okay the other thing we did is on Sunday night I watched I don't know if you guys did on the history channel the now just called history by the way the much-hyped special on Amelia Earhart because as you know for the last week or two they've
Sonny00:10:19been doing this media blitz synergy yes this is only about NBC this has been the most synergistic exercise that I think I can remember seeing since like the Olympics that makes total sense because
Vic00:10:30they were on the Today Show with this photo that claims that this guy who was a former FBI guy says that he found this photo accidentally filed with other declassified ONI files showing that Amelia Earhart and her navigator Fred Noonan were captured and were on the Millie Atoll part of the Marshall Islands and this feeds into the long-running theory that they were they became prisoners of war and died on Saipan in 1937. Now Sonny, you were the first person to come to me that says hold on now. Fake. Fake news. This is hashtag fake news. And what did you what what did you come across? What happened there?
Sonny00:11:12Well I mean look the the first off somebody else claimed that they had seen that photo before and the Daily Mail they dated it to a different date they dated it to 1940 and then I was on Twitter just today there was on Twitter just Tuesday. There was a there was a. You mean on Prime Day? On Prime Day on the great great and beneficent Prime Day there was a there was a a somebody was like what this is a photo from a 1935 right tour guide of Japan it was like a Japanese tour book
Vic00:11:43and I have the answer which is that they were obviously they disappeared in 1935
Sonny00:11:49then. They disappeared in 1935? That's what happened. What if well no but I mean look this is a real question right they disappeared in 1937? July 1937. What if what if they disappeared
Vic00:11:57because they went through a time warp? Well this would be something that my son would believe in. In search of would probably cover this. Oh that's a very good point Sonny. It reminded me why did I get drawn to this show because I was a sucker for those in search of shows back in the late 70s and early 80s. Did you ever see them Sonny in your sort of growing up and syndication? I definitely they definitely were on A&E or one of those channels and I would I but it was like the same three episodes over and over and over again it was the Amityville Horror
JVL00:12:27I must have seen that like four times. That's in my top four. It was there was the Amityville Horror one and there was the Bigfoot one obviously. Absolutely. And I I don't know those are the only two I can remember seeing. JVL did you watch In Search of as a kid? Yes. Do you remember what channel might? I know exactly 17. Oh! Because In Search of would come on directly after Star Trek because they smartly the programming these things are all syndicated so they know if you're showing if you're a Leonard Nimoy guy for Star Trek you will stay for Leonard Nimoy as the narrator. What I did not know until I started looking at this is that he was the backup narrator. Really? Mm-hmm. How did that work out? The original was Rod Serling. Oh wow. And after he passed away Leonard Nimoy took over the chair and it began after a basically a serial five one-off episodes. That's right. And they then became the real I mean I love the crap out of that show although some some of them would scare me. Oh I
Vic00:13:27I'm with you absolutely. Some of them I would just love and think were cool and then some of them would give me bad dreams. And yet I couldn't stop watching. It's the kind of thing where it's like this is so disturbing and I'm so terrified as a nine-year-old yet I'm gonna continue watching. It went it ran from like 77 to 82 and it was a combination of the Leonard Nimoy voice of authority because if he's saying it it's probably true and then the music which was always creepy music and then the other thing is they always had this preface before every episode they would they would always say that you know
JVL00:13:56this series presents information based in part on theory and conjecture which again as a kid means it's all true. That means that theory and conjecture are very large words. It's informed because it's informed. Yes. This is not just people making things up. These are people with theories. Yes. Who are making drawing conjecture from facts. Yeah. Yes. And I have I made for myself a ranking of insurgents. Before we get to the ranking we need to do the categories of insurgents. Oh yeah sure. The show. It's devolved into I would say five major categories right. There's the alien sci-fi one. Yes. Natural mysteries such as the Bermuda Triangle, tornadoes, Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot. There was one about a Great Lakes Triangle too. Yes. I remember that. I remember watching that one thinking that's kind of a jip. I was kind of skeptical because you know Lake Michigan I didn't realize how big Lake Michigan was. I'm sorry a Great Lakes Triangle. Yes where things disappear in the middle of the Great Lakes. Has anything ever disappeared in the middle of the Great Lakes? We've never known him. No. Okay. Uh horror which are hauntings, voodoo spells, Amityville horror murders, lost people. This is a whole Jimmy Hoffa, Anastasia, Amelia Earhart, Butch Cassidy, Jack the Ripper. Ready for this? The Mary Celeste. The ship. That's the ghost ship. Yes. The ghost ship that arrived and there was nobody on the ship. Joseph Mengele. Oh. I remember there was an episode about that. Doctor. And then the sort of tech versus real things. Tech and real monsters I would say. Meaning like fire ants or killer bees. Yeah. Cryogenic. So like stuff that was actually present in the real world. So this is basically. Almost every episode falls into one of these five categories. That's right. So in other words it's basically the X-Files but real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No the X-Files. I've never actually seen this but I would be shocked if Chris Carter did not list In Search Of as a major influence for that show. Because I mean those are the like categories of X-Files shows basically. Yes. Absolutely. 100%. Anything involving the word occult and I'm there. Occult. So which were your, what was your favorite category? of show which of those five was your the go-to that when you realize that that's
Vic00:16:01the episode that ultimately were into it ultimately paranormal ghosts really go the horror stuff yeah and it terrified me yet I couldn't stop watching it the I was gonna say Bigfoot was the Bigfoot episodes were great and I think there
JVL00:16:15was more than one there was one bigfoot people Bigfoot there was a bigfoot yet there was yet a little Sasquatch I think yeah there's the famous story of the the
Vic00:16:26the the the loggers and they were in their cabin and they were being pelted by rocks yes and the noises that were being rock so the size of boulders yeah well there you go and who could lift that there's like a Louisiana Swamp Man
JVL00:16:37there was a swamp there's a swamp thing but like you know there's a swamp man and he's not not like a monster but he's half man sort of bigfoot in Louisiana
Vic00:16:46it's the kind of thing where I'd be like oh I didn't know about that now I'm gonna have to watch it UFOs I think was fantastic and those are also there's there's there was the episode about writings which is just strictly photographs of yes okay and then the Nazca lines in Peru like why would the ancient people have done that and you could see it only from the plane or spaceship there's also the one about like people who have been here before you know so they were here in the mind they making either making pyramids or the Mayan temples and things like chariots of the gods yes and then the most disturbing of those however was the aliens among us which is abduction okay anytime you know you might not even know you were abducted that was the thing until you might have a dream and you know what that was no dream okay okay the penultimate for me was Amityville Horror which Sonny mentioned because it's just you know it's but it's not it's not the actual event that happened which was a tragic event it's about the family that came after that's the story of really the Amityville Horror of the hauntings based on that what I didn't know I saw a actual pretty good documentary on Amityville Horror is and I don't claim to have the answers but what I didn't read you have theories I have I have some theory some conjecture Sonny what I didn't realize and this may not have anything to do with what happened there it was terrible on Long Island but the father who was killed almost the whole family was killed the father was mobbed up he worked for his father-in-law I keep up thinking the last name is the male but it might not be the male but he worked for his father-in-law rather resentfully is it Pomodoro we'll get to that in the outtake Sonny look at you it was the Capicolo family the this makes me very uncomfortable yes very good Italian yes they were an Italian family and and the guy worked for a Padrino if you will he worked for a Padrino resentfully and so there was there was a lot of stories about skimming the skim and I think that adds an element that should be taken to a gift you know what I'm saying but I didn't get and that and the devil possessed the devil made me do it demonic possession defense came later that was not an immediate defense that's like after talking to lawyers about what happened and oh by the way this happened you know I mean in a way of course you could say that but you know temporary insanity or whatever you want to claim okay so that was that one and then lastly ghosts and there's the castle hauntings ghosts and photography and the worst one of all was the contacting of ghosts so Ouija board stuff oh I didn't like that stuff at all no thank you no thank you it was it culminated I remember for me and I finally had enough and I was probably in third grade and they had a woman who was like a psychic and so she starts scribbling down and you know her eyes well you only see the whites of her eyes very good Sonny if you could only see Sonny Bunch's face that was kind of scary we're gonna start doing Facebook
JVL00:19:51live of these podcasts
Sonny00:19:53here on the back of my neck not happening it's gonna be great and yes
Vic00:20:00renegotiate my contract so this woman starts you know scribbling down and she's like I know the name of the woman in this room and she starts writing down like the first three or four letters of this lady ghost and I just flipped it to Tom and Jerry too much you tapped out quick I got to get to WPIX you tapped
JVL00:20:17out I was too I tapped out it was too much I would kill for a Grantland style oral history of in search of because as a kid everything as we said seemed so scientific it seemed like the amount of research that must have gone to these documentaries because it was a documentary show with with theories and conjectured it's like when I was a kid I was so susceptible to advertising but I told my parents once that I wanted Thomas's English muffins instead of the knockoff ShopRite English muffins my parents said why they said because they have nooks and crannies in them
Sonny00:20:52that's where that's where all the butter goes nooks and crannies don't have it the other ones don't have no wait this is this is I don't know what other garbage knockoff muffins are like but the nooks and crannies are where all the butter goes and the butter is where the flavor is so it's like it's like our
JVL00:21:10cigarettes are toasted right yeah so I I would like to just get a window into the producers minds and understand what what was it like in the late 70s putting that thing together yeah it must have been amazing that would it but Leonard Nimoy died already right yes yeah yeah no not him
Sonny00:21:31though Alan Landsberg Alan Landsberg I'm sure he's not when was the show on like what 77 to 82 it was on for five seasons six how many episodes were there a lot a
JVL00:21:44lot it was full 24 episode seasons so you would think that there's like
Vic00:21:48nothing else to talk about Sonny but in fact there was one about how the
Sonny00:21:51Phoenicians landed in Vermont sure I'm familiar with 30 minutes towards the end
JVL00:21:58right it was bad enough living life before birth that was the last the ultimate episode which is like what it's like to be an unborn baby aware of the world around you the ultimate disaster what how will life on the planet I'm
Sonny00:22:10sorry is the ultimate is the ultimate disaster birth it's like the last the
JVL00:22:17subject of the last final five episodes Eva Braun Oh walls of Jericho mmm Bishop Pike who is Bishop exactly right the ultimate disaster meaning like Armageddon and then what it's like to be a baby in the womb so clued by the end they had reached the there's nothing left to they
Sonny00:22:36had solved all the mysteries they're reaching out to the pro-life crowd you
Vic00:22:40know good way to think about it it's good way to think but the thing I was gonna say to go back to Amelia Earhart the Amelia Earhart episode on in search of basically touched on the very same things that we just saw on Sunday night which was that they ended up in Saipan and it's like it's a kind of an old theory photo or no photo Sonny the weirdest thing about it is the eyewitness accounts and said people who said they saw them and that's I think more of interest talk about this a little bit you were telling the strange
Sonny00:23:04communicates I was you were telling me about this in the office and frankly I dismissed it because you know we're gonna take the word of these you know indigenous natives these days over over science over over science like time
Vic00:23:16work over over yes exactly and so you know I think that it's it we have to carefully consider their testimony because they they said they saw Fred Noonan get beheaded and that wouldn't surprise me because of you know the Japanese at the time and Marshall Islands were part of their territory and so the the other theory of course is that it was intention they didn't get lost because of headwinds they actually were taking photos for recon so you know
Sonny00:23:40I don't know that FDR would have left that up to you know a lady pilot Wow
Vic00:23:45all I know is I don't know about that if FDR had a choice of keeping it a secret or admitting hey you know what America's hero heroine who's going around the world I sent her to her death to her death I think that keeping it a secret was a smarter choice you know what else is a smart choice Dollar Shave Club you'll get a great shave at a great price conveniently delivered right to your door it's a no-brainer choice you no longer have to schlep to the store to buy a cheap disposable razor that gives you a cheap shave or spend a fortune on razors with gimmicky shaving tech you didn't need when I use my Dollar Shave Club executive razor razor with their Dr. Carver's shave butter the blade glides ever so gently and gives me such a smooth shave plus their Dr. Carver's shave butter is transparent for a more precise shave helps prevent ingrown hairs and fights razor bumps now listeners to the Substandard podcast can make the smarter choice by joining Dollar Shave Club for a limited time new members get their first month of the executive razor with a tube of their Dr. Carver's shave butter for only $5 with free shipping after that razors are just a few bucks a month that's a $15 value for only five bucks in your first month you get an awesome weighty handle a full cassette of four cartridges and a tube of their shave butter after your first month replacement cartridges ship automatically at their regular price there are no hidden fees and no commitments cancel anytime you like but why would you you can only get this offer exclusively at dollarshaveclub.com slash substandard that's dollarshaveclub.com slash substandard now over the weekend a spider-man homecoming came out and it did a very impressive 117 million dollars at least we all saw it we all saw it one of the rare trifectas and you wrote a review for it right Sonny I did do you want to watch that review it for
Sonny00:25:39the substandard sure so spider-man homecoming is the third spider-man series in 15 years we are rebooting yet again of course we already kind of had a the reboot in Captain America Civil War where Tony Stark slash Iron Man picks up Tom Holland who plays Peter Parker and spider-man and takes him to Berlin to fight Captain America and the rest of the awful traitors to America and we kind of pick up on that that tangent here in the beginning of this film you have some like home videos shot by
JVL00:26:17Peter Parker he's like I'm going to Berlin I got this great new suit from
Sonny00:26:21spy from Tony Stark and I'm gonna be super spider-man or whatever and then we're back to Queens where he lives with his with hot Aunt May played by Marissa Tomei and milf aunt milf aunt milf Marissa Tomei who really is just very attractive and anyway so we're the rest of the movie kind of involves Peter Parker like trying to juggle his Peter Parker life with the with with being spider-man and he really wants to come to the big times you know he wants to join the Avengers he's bugging happy Hogan who's played by Jon Favreau who gets like fourth billing in this movie or third billing and has a fair amount of screen time I mean well anyway so he's bugging happy Hogan all the time wants to be in the Avengers and he decides that to show his worth he's going to take down the vulture who was played by Michael Keaton who was basically the first MCU villain of the Trump era he's like a small businessman who's been crushed by the evil crony capitalists including Tony Stark what you what you what you find watching this movie is that it really is in many ways again like Captain America Civil War a Tony Stark Iron Man movie the main villain is somebody who was angry at Tony Stark the the the whole like kind of tension in the movie is whether or not Tony Stark is going to let him go to let spider-man be part of his club so like all of the superhero stuff is basically Tony Stark Iron Man related and you and if you paid any attention to the marketing of this movie you will have realized this Tony Stark / Iron Man is like front and center on all of the posters he's in all of the ads I mean it was I was joking about like you know the poster the original poster comes out and it's this terrible photoshop with like heads and random places you know but like one of the biggest ones is Jon Favreau and it's like look kids this is definitely an Iron Man movie this is Iron Man featuring spider-boy look we've even got Iron Man chauffeur right here on the poster he's there this is an Iron Man movie He even got Pepper Potts who hasn't been in one of these movies since Iron Man 3 yeah like five years I guess so anyway the this is very much an Iron Man movie in the superhero stuff the Peter Parker stuff is all really good it's like very funny and very like coming-of-age teen comedy high school stuff I really liked it I will say that well I we can talk a little more about like compared to previous iterations of the movie but I will say that look I liked it it is an MCU movie it is kind of planned and generic it is you know it's fun and it's
Vic00:28:58funny and it's not much else because I rarely we all rarely get to see all the movie at the same time and it's not often that I get to see a movie that you guys have been watching I also did a review I did the Gene Chalit review oh boy is that okay if it doesn't work you could edit this out JVL, if this doesn't work you can edit this out
Sonny00:29:20I have to sit back and wait for it. I'm just gonna mute me and hold on wait I don't know who it is I don't know who it is I won't mute anyone.
Vic00:29:31So here's my Gene Chalit review ready mmm spider-man homecoming spins a web of intrigue that will have audiences marveling at the special effects it's got it's got spine-tingling action Michael Keaton goes out on a wing as the vulture Marisa Tomei is Aunt May or should I say may I I wasn't so sure of Tom Holland but it didn't take him long to get into the swing of things my spidey sense tells me he's going to be a big star only verily very rarely does the plot ever slow to a crawl I give spider-man homecoming five stars it'll have you dancing on the ceiling
Sonny00:30:22back to you JVL I think that's the best thing that's just show it we should just
JVL00:30:27stop the podcast that's a wrap I'm done I'm done all right that's it Victorino you're the big winner who's the big winner you are yeah you're gonna get a
Vic00:30:39substandard t-shirt for that extra extra large for the neck
JVL00:30:44Wow that was uh that was fantastic that was a tour de force it was and I love
Vic00:30:50Gene Child that's why I mean honestly as you know why that's you guys he's gonna
Sonny00:30:53die between you have you've cursed him you have no final destinations I'm
Vic00:31:05actually gonna check to see if he's already dead he survived a car crash he died 30 seconds ago
JVL00:31:13he didn't survive the car crash. I don't want to scare you age 91 still alive so there
Vic00:31:22is still alive as of this taping as the moment we tape this mr. Shallot you are on the clock I'm ready I'm ready for the mantle I'm ready for his mantle to carry on his legacy as a wonderful punny critic. JVL you saw it too did you see it
JVL00:31:41alone or did you see with I took my son first time ever as a sort of random hey it's a Sunday night it's late it's way past your bedtime there's this kind of grown-up movie let's go and we come out of it and and he said dad did you like it yeah I liked it on a scale of 1 to 10 yes my son I said a scale of 1 to 10 I really liked it was like six and a half maybe seven and and he goes how about you buddy what would you say on a scale of 1 to 10 he looks at me totally honestly he goes 500 I said so basically that was your Citizen Kane and he goes I don't know what that is but it's the greatest movie I've ever seen yeah I said okay better than Avengers better than Star Wars better than Force Awakens there are there's some dick jokes totally into it my nine-year-old son loved the dick joke so much I can't even tell you penis Parker oh my god penis Parker he was he literally stood up and like it was like doubled over go fine at it it was fantastic at penis Parker yes yes there's a porn reference - I don't know if you got thank God that went over his head I know I was a little that was the only thing in it that made me nervous because it's one more point of Ned when Ned is in the library during homecoming at the computers trying to help oh all right so you gave it a six and a half you said yeah maybe a seven yeah so maybe a seven what did you like what did you didn't like I thought it was really good overall I mean as you say basically inconsequential everything in it is supremely competently made though so I mean and the big thing they do is that there's no origin story it's a first movie in a reboot without they just lied the idea of needing to give us an origin because we don't need it everybody in the world knows how he got his powers yeah and everyone in the world who's
Sonny00:33:38going to see this movie knows it right I mean it's like it's like this is we've had two and you don't need to please could DC Comics to watch this
JVL00:33:49movie and understand you don't need to give us your next I know you're planning another origin story for Superman the next time you try to reboot the stupid
Sonny00:33:56franchise why would they don't need to do it why would they need another origin story when they have the perfect Zack Snyder yeah why would they Superman
JVL00:34:03Man of Steel movies so I appreciate the fact that they did not give us the origin story I very much appreciate it really appreciate it some of the changes made to the character so this is a very non canon spider-man they have changed a lot of things so aunt may as a milf there is no uncle Ben his love interest is a brand new character who is fantastic and you can see why he would be over the moon for her MJ is not Mary Jane he does not have spider sense there is no spider power set but the biggest thing they did something that was foundational to the character which is that Peter Parker is not a sad sack now they have put him not in a normal high school but what is essentially Bronx science you know like this giant super-duper magnate school which is filled with nerds and Peters a nerd among nerds including nerd jocks or
Vic00:34:58cocky nerds well flash we'll get to the flash in a
JVL00:35:01minute but in a world filled with nerds he is kind of you know like on the low end of the social popularity spectrum but he's not the put-upon sad sack of the other movies and you know what I love that change and it's they did they didn't change they changed something a foundational about the character but in a tweak not a revolutionary way and it makes everything better it makes him more winning it makes his character arc more compelling everything about it is better yeah and they did a beautiful job I thought realizing that high school life and very broad brushes I mean but you see like the chess club there lots of high school jokes in there with the chess kids like you know the Lego Death Star and and maybe the best is the reimagining of flash as a southeast of again a perfectly recognized we've ever been in Tony Rivoli who was great was quite a lot yeah but he's playing Southeast Asia he's playing like a Pakistani kid or something like that in a way that we all know I know that I know know that guy because he's the guy who was the wealthy Pakistani kid or Indian kid or Southeast Asian really cocky who's super cocky and kind of a hipster and is really smart but not that smart and it's kind of a jackass we all know and he's great like ever all of these kids in this movie are archetypes that we know from our AP classes in high school and they're fabulous and I enjoyed being around them I it got to a
Sonny00:36:22very real thing about high school at least I as I remember it which was that it was not like clicks competing with each other it's not it's not my my high school experience was nothing like breakfast club but I like I I don't recognize I see that and I like kind of understand what they're doing but it was nothing like that it was much more fluid and people kind of you know there were definitely people who didn't like each other and there were definitely clicks but it wasn't you know kind of stratified like that I thought all of the the teen actors in this movie are fantastic I mean I like I thought every I thought every performance was spot-on perfect which is kind of rare in in in these these movies but like I thought everybody it was funny like it's really funny not a fish out of water like I
JVL00:37:06look she can't go through a revolving door
Sonny00:37:08no what a sword oh what's that a reference to like it's actually funny
JVL00:37:12would so would you say we'll get there in a minute would you we'll get there in a minute Santino the I was so there is one thing in it so the movie is as you said inconsequential but it does have one idea in it and the idea is something that all three of us as fathers of daughters that we love I have a daughter I love and that was very deep that was very as long as as long as the other daughter is not I have the podcast who daughters I love it's a joke honey yeah we're not I don't I didn't want to laugh at that cuz I wasn't sure if this was just sad or the motivation for the vulture who is never called the vulture he's just Adrian tombs his name is a that's a guy's name he is the owner of a small business salvage company who gets a big city contract goes out spend a lot of money to get his stuff ready to be able to handle the contract and then is big-footed by the feds as they come in and say we're gonna take over the clean up of these the Department of Damage Control or scroll who buy buy buy no it
Sonny00:38:19was happy of Cagney Lacey it was a daily time no it was the it was from the
JVL00:38:24Avengers it was the yeah so they they come in they put sky out of business and he is going to be wrecked and all the guys who work for him his crew were gonna be wrecked their families me wrecked his family's gonna be wrecked and he turns to arms dealing this is the only thing he has and when he is confronted by at the end by by Peter Parker he says what I'm doing is no different than what Stark did Stark made his fortune by selling weapons so they could kill people like you know around the world which is dead on he is absolutely right and Peter Parker says to him how could you do this to your daughter because that this which I did not see coming the reveal that the the girl was that a spoiler alert that's a pretty big spoiler I think because I didn't see that coming in that what I didn't see like I was
Sonny00:39:10actually surprised first time I've been surprised in a superhero movie in a long
JVL00:39:14it was a wonderful reveal and and Peter says to him how could you do this to her and tombs his response is to her I did this for her and this is a response that every father of a daughter will absolutely understand trying to be a good provider and it's it's dead on but what's so what it's getting at the deeper point is the difference between being a boy and a man because Peter as a boy cannot understand that he just even after he says it to him Peter doesn't get it and and tombs as a man not only does get it but he offers to spare Peter because he appreciates Peter having saved her life but then at the very end when he gets sent to jail and he understands he protects Peter's secret because he's not a monster and he understands parents
Sonny00:40:00taking care of their kids and he also but he's also setting up he wants he wants to take the revenge I mean I don't get the sense that that's true actually I I think the smile on Michael Keaton's face as he's walking into the prison is not a like oh I'm helping out Peter I'm such a good guy I'm gonna effin kill that kid
JVL00:40:22My read was he's protecting the kid because it's it's terrible he wants to get out he wants to go back to being a criminal and moving on with his life I guess but but he is not gonna I think this is wrong Peter that's I have you
Sonny00:40:35ever seen maybe I'm too deep so we talked about this is it again it's kind of an inconsequential film not just thematically but also stylistically this is very much in the house MCU style of very straightforward film very looks like a million bucks though it I mean it looks it looks like the effects look almost practical the effects like good but I mean spider-man looks like a rubber man jumping around that's just kind of like what the character looks
JVL00:41:03like no I'm so I mean the tight so when they have tight shots of him doing just spider-man II stuff like when he is learning his power set and you're sort of with him as he's crawling on ceilings well I would say that is as close to you will believe the man can fly it's good
Sonny00:41:17as I've ever seen that's that's all very good but it's also all very like straightforward and like not particularly innovative or no no
JVL00:41:23exciting beautifully shot what I'm trying to get is this is a very
Sonny00:41:26competently made movie yeah yeah yeah very I prefer a little bit of flash myself and this is why I found myself looking back to the Sam Raimi films and wanting that kind of like personal stamp on it you know the Sam Raimi movies say what you will about them even the third one which is a bit of a you know gigantic trainwreck had moments of personality and style and like actual flourishes my the best the best of these of course is in spider-man to the kind of Doc Ock Hospital horror scene where it's basically a Sam Raimi a five-minute Sam Raimi horror movie in the middle of a you know two and a half hour spider-man movie by Sam Raimi and it is it is just like there's none of the Marvel movies has had anything like that and it there's a difference between creating a franchise that is a standalone Christopher Nolan does Batman Sam Raimi does spider-man thing and the franchise of the cinematic universe which is Marvel has control over everything and wants it all to look the same and I I can they both they have their pluses and minuses but I miss the the tourist
JVL00:42:39franchise idea there are editors who have those different viewpoints well whom we all know Victorino what did you think I I liked it are you okay to come back yeah we were trying to give you some time off to rejuvenate there hi
Vic00:42:53there's a bit of a come down to get my voice back I liked it a lot I sort of just I was abused by the number of I think there's like more Asian actors at any superhero films it's like Wolverine in Japan but yes but it was a racial bean counting that has gone on in this film yes but I didn't think it was distracting its Queens or Bronx science or wherever I mean you're gonna see that that's what you can see you know it's not gonna be five seconds I mean ash is not gonna be the six foot two you know blonde haired you know football quarterback oh yeah this kind
JVL00:43:23of school school doesn't have a football that's you didn't see anything well I have a football field and football field but this is a team without this it's like Thomas Jeffery and TGI yeah football team is comprised of kids who are at 15
Vic00:43:3380 on their SATs yeah right and so I appreciated his his big fat buddy Ned Jacob battle on who was also was great I was a Filipino and of course you were talking about Tony Revolori I thought it was great the other thing is outside of my GI Joe comic books the only other sort of knowledge I had in comic books certainly not with DC but was spider-man and I was thrilled to see teasers for two other favorite villains of mine one of them yes thank you if you again if there was if there was video you'd see what Jonathan's doing we're gonna be
JVL00:44:06Facebook live in two weeks you will be able to do Facebook I wouldn't I
Vic00:44:13wouldn't promise that just yet well unrelated to whatever gesture Jonathan was doing the shocker was one of the village played by oh the second one played by Bokeem Woodbine and I like that guy you know where I from Fargo he
Sonny00:44:27was the he was the the one of those TV ads on the second season of Fargo I was
Vic00:44:31also gonna say where did I just see him recently you know where I saw on The Rock the movie The Rock oh he's one of the mercenaries yeah like what are the good way yeah and so he was great and of course whoever plays a scorpion but I don't know if you're good yes but I mean
JVL00:44:46the I don't know if he could carry you know as a villain cuz you need a big name villain scorpion was in this yeah the scorpion I guessed it in the end but
Sonny00:44:54Sonny said he was earlier the booth so he's he's on the ferry scene he's the guy with the scorpion tattoo on his neck he and then at the and when Michael Keaton sees him in the jail yeah and the guys like my friends
Vic00:45:06call me the scorpion oh is that what he said I couldn't yeah I didn't hear it either but I just saw his look I said I bet you that guy's a scorpion but he was
Sonny00:45:13on the ferry I'm I seem to remember him being on the ferry he was part of like
Vic00:45:18the weapons deal yeah oh is he the guy was yeah no so I really enjoyed it my son also really really enjoyed it he thought it was a scale 1 to 10 what did Michael think I did give him a scale but he would have said Ted I think but his mind is all muddled because he had also just seen Dark Knight and Dark Knight Rises and so he saw that last night it just on a sort of tangent here he said he doesn't know which one is better Dark Knight or Dark Knight Rises I said that's a common dilemma for lots of people for a nine-year-old kid it's not even close yeah well yeah I think he said he loved the Joker but he said there's no question that Bane is definitely stronger more powerful but he
JVL00:45:54must prefer spider-man homecoming to both of them I think right for
Vic00:45:58nine-year-old kid I have to ask again it's a fun movie it's fun it's super fun
JVL00:46:01again we were talking no penis jokes in either the Dark Knight no no nothing
Vic00:46:05like that inferior yes Marisa Tomei is amazing she's 52 and again that amazing
JVL00:46:11what is amazing about her being 52 Vic that's a good point because there's lots of beautiful women of that age I just oh because of her looks you're being looks
Vic00:46:18est Wow I am being looks as study did we talk about this in a previous episode when you met Marisa Tomei yeah I don't know
Sonny00:46:26if we talked about it but tell us about her I just did what was she wearing interviewed her for the wrestler if I remember correctly I know it was in that movie hmm she's pretty was she's one of her finest performances I what I can't oh she's in the interview is so it's so all of these interviews take place on like the basements of hotels and the rooms are always frigid and she came in and was like like literally shivering like was was cold you give her your coat I offered her my jacket and she said oh that's very nice no they're coming in with like a blanket and they brought a blanket in was this happening we we that's inappropriate Facebook live of this show is gonna be so great but anyway it kicks off her
Vic00:47:13slippers she said it she said let's go guys she says that the son of this is
Sonny00:47:17very you know I respect her as an actress she's fantastic this is all very just this is all very inappropriate I talked to her about her her her stage work she really loves doing plays because she's a real actress and artist and you know this movie thing is just a way to she's very political hey the bills to pay the bills uh anyway she's she's great she's very good in this movie yeah she's like all these I mean yeah she yeah like five
Vic00:47:45foot ninety pounds you know you have to be that way you know but because the
Sonny00:47:49actors are five foot four and a hundred yes Tom Cruise is like five to exactly
JVL00:47:53um okay do we have any other spider-man suit lady Karen the suit oh yes and
Vic00:47:59I know do you know you know at the time but that was a very funny by the way because a little homage to the Tobey Maguire moment when he's dangling upside down and he sees Liz and then the suit lady says oh now's the time to kiss her
Sonny00:48:14well amusingly also Paul Bettany is the voice of of the vision and like the original Iron Man suit Jarvis and Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly are married aren't they I did not know that you maybe maybe look that maybe I thought
Vic00:48:29but I thought they were married to that professor Nash from Princeton who went crazy oh sorry that was a beautiful mind well no he's he's married Paul Bettany was in that too
Sonny00:48:38no she's married to she's married to the crazy part of his brain that's what
JVL00:48:42that's this is too much okay I'm pretty sure I might be wrong I think we need so I have yes I have one thing before we can move on please I so I enjoyed the movie and I was happy to see that it did well yes I said solid six and a half maybe a seven three stars three three or four stars there's one problem with it when I went to IMDB to look up and learn some more things about this movie I discovered the director he's a man oh wow that's a problem it's it's worse he's white I don't JVL firing up the base firing up our baseless I was not aware that we still lived in a country where they allowed this sort of thing to go on
Sonny00:49:28you know this is your white privilege talking you get you get you see no I'm offended by it one woman I'm a one woman director and it triggers you and you're you're just so upset so I will simply say and I said this on Twitter when I
JVL00:49:42got home from seeing it spider-man as a piece of film is incontrovertibly better made than Wonder Woman yeah I think that's probably right period the end
Sonny00:50:01I would say of the comic book films released this year the ranking would be Logan spider-man homecoming Wonder Woman and guardians of the galaxy 2 in that order
Vic00:50:11mm-hmm I haven't seen one but that sounds very reasonable to me
Sonny00:50:15yep I mean I should know you I know you think you're making some sort of big point here
JVL00:50:20JVL who the people on Twitter didn't like it when I said it well people on
Sonny00:50:23Twitter don't like anything it's just
Vic00:50:27JVL do we have corrections let's move on
Sonny00:50:30let's move on from this corrections additions clarification I don't want to get yelled at by the people on Twitter I get yelled at enough by the people on
Vic00:50:36Twitter Sonny I'm gonna yes I'm gonna guess you have zero of course I have
JVL00:50:39zero Corrections I'm never wrong JVL anything I don't think I was wrong
Vic00:50:44this is crazy last week me too nothing perfect wow that's the first I guess
JVL00:50:50after 34 or 33 episodes yeah did we uh was there ever like a wrestling trio that Mr. Perfect was part of a three-man tag is that would be I feel like there was a there was definitely plus Scott Steiner plus Rick Steiner at some point well
Sonny00:51:04there was definitely a Curt Hennig plus like Jim the Anvil Neidhart maybe didn't didn't they tag-team for a while maybe I don't I might be wrong well whatever if
JVL00:51:13there if there was a three-man tag that's it based around mr. perfect that would be us right now we know Corrections and we all saw the movie episode it's like we just professional you know maybe we got to go on hiatus
Sonny00:51:26again I just think that we should not do another show I knew in September spirit
Vic00:51:32of the week I brought this one this is a really what a courtesy of they said this to me for free with the vodka book which is Woody Creek from Colorado a hundred percent potato vodka I think they only distill it once that's why it has flavor to it it's rather appropriate since earlier the week it was the birthday of Eva Eckeblad the Swedish scientist who many credit for the first potato vodka so skull to her and I think that's all the time we are giving to this episode questions comments and complaints compliments tweet us at Victorino Matus at Sonny Bunch again be sure to subscribe to us on iTunes or Google Play just type in some standard under podcasts we're there leave a review tell your friends and don't forget the substandard show notes might just be up on Friday at 11 a.m. Amy until next time so we were talking about what led the day during Amazon Prime Day on Twitter
Sonny00:52:41was not Amazon Prime it was Sonny well David Brooks is great column where he it's actually a I like I actually like the columns idea that you basically have upper-middle-class parents pouring their resources into kids and you have like kind of an invisible barrier that keeps lower-class kids from coming up because they're like unseen social rituals etc that that that kind of get in the way but like the anecdote that he uses to describe this is is pretty perfect let me see if I can just pull it up here on my phone here's David Brooks recently I took a friend with a high school degree to lunch and sensitively I led her into a gourmet sandwich shop suddenly I saw her face freeze up as she was confronted with sandwiches named padrino and pomodoro and ingredients like sopressata and capicolo and striata baguette see I am actually like this is this is sunny again I'm actually not great at this stuff either but I'm able to fake it because of my upper middle class uh upbringing uh anyway back to Brooks uh I quickly asked her if she wanted to go somewhere else and she anxiously nodded yes and we ate Mexican now everyone is of course making uh fun on on uh Brooks on Twitter for this and and frankly though I was pretty sympathetic to it because I go into a sandwich shop and I'm like
Guest00:54:05wow pastrami Swiss cheese what is this what's sprouts sprouts on a sandwich I don't understand
Sonny00:54:15what's happening and I actually went to college so I'm very you know I'm sympathetic the discrepancy
Vic00:54:20though has nothing to admit for me in my opinion the discrepancy has nothing to do with degree but rather where you are from it's a regional discrepancy if you're from Jersey up in New Jersey my guys who are construction up there exactly they're fine with that they know what capical is they know what pommel you know they know what that stuff is and and and so Prasad they know what that is and and so what's the rule that's offensive but the uh and and are you using that voice yeah right is that so but they wouldn't say because they're they're gangsters yeah but they wouldn't say capicola they'd say gabagool they'd say gabagool you know and so that was it was strange that he said it's sensitive to but also the other thing is that Chipotle I look at stuff there and some of the stuff that I I don't understand what that stuff is sofritas thank you see what is that I don't know I don't
Sonny00:55:04know sofritas I would never get those they're pork they're the only thing to order is it
JVL00:55:09soy JVL knows yeah is it soy sofritas is the soy stuff yeah I'm sorry I don't like to eat your murder meat murder meat oh my gosh it's uh this is an amazing thing for David who I love yeah I love David and he's I think he's Bobo's in Paradise is one of like the
Sonny00:55:29five like actually good pop sociology books in the rush 20 years I think it's great I
Vic00:55:37think it David's mind he's thinking of the scene in Crocodile Dundee where the obnoxious uh newspaper guy and his uh pseudo girlfriend he brings Dave he brings he brings Crocodile Dundee into the a fancy Italian restaurant that's not a knife yeah is that that scene you know before that but he brings him into the fancy Italian restaurant to embarrass him and Crocodile Dundee can't read the menu you know it's an Italian that's what he's imagining and and again had uh had David said grana I don't know a grana annoys me and I see that popping up on menus all the time so isn't it just kind of cheese see JVL I
Sonny00:56:12went JVL you must have went to Hopkins I went to I went to what time is it ah 5705 you're the one who's got to bleep it out you know what I won't do it it's too much work now that you're ready to get go after yourself I mean I just look I went to a restaurant and they were like provolone and I'm like what is this are the are there kinds of salami
JVL00:56:37I thought salami I thought was Italian so what's Genoa I'm sure it's fine
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