#335. 'Anaconda' (With Audio This Time!)
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With JVL out for the week, Mike and Sonny do a rare one-on-one covering the 1997 creature-feature classic Anaconda, prompted by the release of the 2025 Paul Rudd/Jack Black remake. Sonny delivers an enthusiastic ode to the original as an unimpeachable piece of unintentional camp — terrible CGI, a game cast of soon-to-be stars (Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Owen Wilson, Eric Stoltz) all overshadowed by a scenery-devouring Jon Voight, and a surprising amount of horniness for a PG-13 movie — arguing that the new film fails precisely because it tries to be "self-consciously goofy" instead of sincerely embracing the absurdity that made the original rewatchable. Mike agrees, singling out the infamous wasp-in-the-mask kill, Voight's "thousand-yard horny stare" at Lopez, and the gloriously overwritten "veins explode" monologue as highlights, while both marvel that the Anaconda franchise has quietly ballooned to six entries. Before getting to the movie, the two spend the first third of the episode on holiday banter: Sonny pitches an elaborate "gritty reboot" of The Santa Claus as a Predator-style survival thriller (with David Krumholtz returning as a treacherous Bernard the Elf), Mike raves about the 1987 Muppet Family Christmas special and Mickey's Christmas Carol, and both trade stories about their kids staying up for New Year's Eve for the first time. They close with a quick spin through the holiday box office — Avatar: Fire and Ash, Zootopia 2's outsized China haul, Marty Supreme's strong A24 run, and a debate over Timothy Chalamet's box-office pull versus the "Mr. Wonderful" Shark Tank effect — before turning to Anaconda proper, and the episode ends with the hosts riffing on the franchise's improbable expansion, including Anaconda 3: Offspring releasing the same week as The Dark Knight in 2008.
From the show notes
Another good reason to move to Substack: Sonny won't have to keep hopping between interfaces and fucking up this email once every three months. Apologies.
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00I'm not panicking, I'm just looking at this wall that's blocking our way down this river that you know. Well, let's just, uh, see what we can do. Hey, is that real dynamite? It's always good to be prepared. Prepared for what? Well, you gotta be kidding me. That thing must be there for a reason. Yeah, to keep us out. I'm talking about upsetting the ecological balance of this river. Well, look, I can blow in ten minutes, or if you're feeling sensitive, we could turn around and lose two days. It's up to you.
Sonny00:00:33Oh, for God's sake, blow the bloody thing.
Mike00:00:46Welcome to the Sub-Beacon Podcast. I'm your co-host, Mike Warren. And joining me is my co-host, who told me, to never look in the eyes of those I kill, because they will haunt me forever. Sonny Bunch, Jonathan V. Last is off this week. So we're doing a one-on-one, a 1v1, as my kids like to say. 1v1? They say 1v1 instead of one-on-one, like we're playing basketball. It's very odd to me. It's a soccer thing. Is it soccer, or is it like video games? I don't know.
Sonny00:01:24Yeah, maybe it's video games.
Mike00:01:25It could be that. Join us over at Sub-Beacon.com. Tell your friends and family, 1v1. Tell your friends and family to listen to the show at Sub-Beacon.com. New episodes on Fridays. Join the conversation in the comments. We're going to be talking about Anaconda, not the new one, the 1997 original. It started the great franchise, the great Anaconda franchise, which began, the one that started it all from 1997. Later on in the show. But first, Happy New Year and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of our listeners. Sonny, what is going on with you in this first Sub-Beacon show of 2026?
Sonny00:02:13Not a whole lot. It's funny. We weren't able to do an episode last week because you guys were traveling. And I was going to try and just do a quick ramble because I do that sometimes. When you guys are both out, I will. I'll just hop on here and commandeer the mic and subject people to my nonsense for 20 to 30 minutes at a time, which, you know, is my interest. That's what the people want. The people crave my nonsense.
Mike00:02:39First of all, we should say JVL and I to stop talking so that they can hear your nonsense.
Sonny00:02:44Exactly. Exactly. First, we should say we should give a shout out to JVL. I hope you're hope you're doing OK. Yeah. Out there. You know, there's some there's some health. Not. Well, JVL, he's fine, but somehow stuff in the family where we all we all want him to be to to have everything turn out OK. The but what I had wanted to what I was what I was thinking about doing, what I'll maybe do here for just a minute. Mike, what's what's the last time you watched the Santa Claus? It's the Santa Claus. Yeah. Tim Allen. Santa Claus.
Mike00:03:18Oh, yeah. I'm familiar because I watched it a million times when I was a kid. I loved the Santa Claus. I believe it is the sole reason why a generation, my generation misspells the name for Santa Claus.
Sonny00:03:34Totally.
Mike00:03:35Yeah. By adding an E on the end, not like totally missing the joke of the of the title. It was maybe a couple of years ago that I watched it. Your thoughts.
Sonny00:03:45Well, it was interesting because I was I showed it to my kids for their first time. They'd never seen it before. We got through several Christmas classics. We got Muppet Christmas Carol, I believe. Oh, yeah. Of course. They'd never seen it this year, which which was a was a big hit. But the Santa Claus is an interesting is an interesting movie. First off, there's there's just all sorts of like amusingly dated things in it. The one that jumped out the most to me was, you know, so there's so the plot of the movie for folks who have not seen the Santa Claus is that Tim Allen is like a terrible divorced father who is like constantly ignoring his kid and, you know, and yeah, he's a workaholic and he's he like misses Christmas Eve because he's had the office Christmas party, which this toy company is doing on Christmas Eve for some reason, which is just a very funny, very funny diehard thing. The but the but the plot of the movie is that Tim Allen accidentally wounds Santa Claus doesn't kill Santa very specifically, does not kill Santa. Like, so he scares Santa off the roof. Santa falls down and he hurts him. See, like knocks himself unconscious. And there's a little card in a suit that says, put on this suit and deliver the presents. You piece of shit. You killed Santa. You don't want the children of the world not to have their toys. You better do this. And because of the fine print on the card that he read aloud on, he he he inherits the curse of Santa Claus. He becomes Santa forever. He is he is turned into Santa. But very specifically, Santa does not die. There's a shot in the film where Santa is seen giving a thumbs up as Tim Allen, you know, kind of turns away to to show the children that Santa has not been murdered by Tim Allen. He just has been like wounded. Part of me thinks that this like Santa has been cursed to do this for hundreds of years. He's like, finally, I've got a way out. It's like, oh, I put the I put the suit on mistakenly a hundred years ago. All of my family is dead. All of my friends have passed. I don't know anyone anymore. I have to live with these fucking elves up in the North Pole all year. So anyway, he tricks he tricks Tim Allen into assuming the demon mantle of Santa Claus. And and as a result of this, the first time for the first year, he's just regular Tim Allen. He's got the suit on, whatever. But as the year progresses, as the year goes on, he starts to take on the characteristics of Santa Claus. So he's growing a beard and he's got very white hair. He's got long white hair. And one of the things that happens is he puts on weight. He puts on weight because Santa Claus, you know, has the bowl full of jelly. He's got the stomach stomach like a bowl full of jelly. Santa's got diabetes. He's got the diabetes. And like this is. And so so there's a scene. There's a scene in the movie where Tim Allen is trying to put on his work clothes. He's trying to put on like a suit, you know, and he can't because he's such a lard ass now. He's put on so much weight he can't put on his work clothes. So he just puts on some sweatpants. He like puts on some sweatpants and throws on an overcoat and goes running into this office to get a very nice very nice office in, you know, whatever city this is set in. I don't I can't remember. I think it's Chicago or I don't I don't it doesn't matter. None of this matters. But he goes and he goes into the office and everyone looks at him in abject horror. Everyone is like, what happened to you? Why? Why are you so fucking fat right now? Why are you such a why are you such a lard ass, you piece of shit? And it's like I mean, it's like it's not I'm I'm exaggerating slightly because this is a PG movie. You know, they're Ed Asner who plays the boss can't just say, no, it's not Ed Asner or not Ed Asner. What's his name? Peter Boyle. Peter Boyle. Thank you, Peter Boyle. Peter Boyle. Peter Boyle can't literally say what the fuck you fat piece of shit. But that's like what that's the subtext to all of the conversations in this in this in this office. And it really it really is like jarring now watching this in twenty twenty five, because that level of fat shaming simply would not be acceptable in a workplace setting. Obviously, but even a depiction of a workplace setting, if people were doing this in a movie, they would be the villains of the movie. They would be like the horrifying evil people in
Mike00:08:31the film. Yes. Can I can I can I lodge objection or I would say clarification? I think the from the way you're describing it, because I think the idea is not that they're mocking his weight so much as they're mocking the speed with which he has put on. The weight. Right. That like we're led to believe that they like he kind of he he gets
Sonny00:08:56fatter very, very quickly. Yeah, it's like in ways that are alarming. Yes. So it's like overnight. Granted, there is definitely part of that. There's definitely part of that. But the response to it is not like, hey, man, we're worried about your health here. What is there? It's like you are disgusting fat body. OK, you need to you need to go to a gym and you need to run on the treadmill. You fucking disgusting piece of shit. OK, that is his order. But his lunch
Mike00:09:27order at this meeting, I've thought about this scene a lot. His lunch order at this meeting mirrors basically like what I've been eating for the past week, you know, just like grazing around the crap, you know, that that accumulates around Christmas. Like he orders a he orders like a
Sonny00:09:44Caesar salad. He's like, I want a Caesar salad. No dressing. You know, he orders like three desserts. And then he's like, I want six cookies. And can I get some hot chocolate? And, you know,
Mike00:09:55hot fudge sundae and a tall glass of milk, you know, like and again, everybody is looking at
Sonny00:10:00this order with not concern. I'm sorry, Mike. I disagree with you. It is not concern. It's disgust. It's outright loathing. It's like this this this garbage human being needs to control himself. He can't he can't represent this august toy company looking like this dumpy piece of garbage that he is now. I won't allow it. I want Peter Boyle will not allow it in his in his toy company. But that's neither that's neither here nor there. What I got, what I got to thinking about when I was watching this movie is that there's been three of these movies. I've never watched any of the sequels. My understanding is the third one has an element of what I'm about to suggest here, but it's not it's not really the plot of the film. My my take on this movie, looking at it now through the jaundiced eyes of a 43 year old who has kids of his own and and is bored with the world of Christmas movies and is tired of the the the wholesomeness of them all is that I look at this movie and I see. A very easy, gritty reboot that you could do of the Santa Claus, which is look, here's the thing, set aside, set aside the grotesquery of Tim Allen's appearance as fat ass Santa Claus with his disgusting stomach that nobody can look at in this toy company that they're all horrified by. Set a set aside the what you actually have to what actually happens to you as Santa when you when you assume the mantle of Santa Claus. And instead, just for a moment, think about really what it means, because, you know, what you have here is you have an unarmed. Delivery man, right? All Santa is unarmed. Delivery man. No guards. There's no there's no he doesn't have a team. We see these like SWAT elves show up later, but they're not with him through through most of his journey. He's just by himself. He's got he's got some some real jerk reindeer, by the way. What's what's Comet's deal in this movie? He thinks he's hot shit. Yeah, Comet's kind of an asshole. I'm cock of a walk. Are you? Are you, Comet? But you're no Rudolph, Comet. But he's not even Donner. But the but the you know, you have essentially you have what is essentially an immortal being. Yep. With enormous superpowers like the ability to contract space and time in a way that could allow you to get into all sorts of shenanigans. If you wanted to, if you were of that, if you were if you were a shenanigan, getting up to sort, you could do all sorts of things with the ability to enter any home
Mike00:12:51you wanted to do anything. The fireplace will change to allow you to enter. Yeah, no, they
Sonny00:12:57will create a fireplace. Remember, he goes in through a pipe and there's a fireplace there. Anyway, I got to thinking that, you know, there is a there is a essentially what I would I would title it something like Survive the Night Santa or Hunt the Claws in which in which every Christmas. Santa Claus doesn't spend his time delivering packages. He has to survive the night. He
Mike00:13:21basically it's the running man. It's the running clause. He spends he goes from house
Sonny00:13:25to house, from country to country, avoiding teams of assassins who are trying to kill him to steal his powers. Like that's that is I think that there's a real movie kind of like Fat Man, but not not like Fat Man. Not really. Fat Man's doing a different thing. This is like a straightforward like apocalypto by way of the North Pole. You would you would be chasing Santa from rooftop to rooftop teams of assassins trying to take him out. Also, so like the most evil people in the world could take over his powers. Of course, he would have to be good. He would have to be a good. He's protecting the mantle of Santa Claus to give children hope and pleasure, but also to keep the bad people from taking over. Because just imagine you a team of assassins with with no scruples whatsoever. They could just go into the White House. They could go into the prime minister's home, 10 whatever street, 10 Downing Street, whatever it is in in England. They could just they could go in any home they wanted. They could take and kidnap Elon Musk and hold them, hold them hostage. They could they could do they could go and steal valuable artworks. You know, they could do anything right. And this is a great man. This great Santa Sinterklaas has to has to defend the mantle of Santa from these hunting, roving bands of brigands. I think that's a I frankly, I think that's an that's a that's a you get the John Wick Studio guys, the 11 North team to make this. That's a that's an easy that movie will easily gross.
Mike00:15:10fives of millions of dollars. It kind of feels like you're taking parts of both Fat Man and Red One and kind of making a better movie from from both of those and and I guess the Santa Claus as well.
Sonny00:15:23I'm not saying I'm not saying it's a totally original idea here. I'm not saying that I'm I'm not saying it's a Christmas movie. I mean, I'm not saying that I'm reinventing the wheel here. I'm just saying that, like, you've got this dormant series, the Santa Claus. They're not doing nobody's doing anything with the Santa Claus right now. And you turn it into the Santa Claus for. I guess I think we're on the fourth one. The Santa Claus for survive the night or, you know, again, killing Chris King Kringle. I don't know. So something like that.
Mike00:15:56So by the way, it's it's kind of amazing that of Tim Allen's film franchises like Toy Story will only have two more than the Santa Claus. Like that's that's pretty it's pretty remarkable, right? Like that, like there are there will be five.
Sonny00:16:15It's at least Toy Stories, right? It's at least two more Toy Stories than we needed, at least totally maybe, maybe three.
Mike00:16:23But you know, it's it's kind of it's it's incredible. The the the staying power of Tim Allen, who to me is sort of like he typifies the 90s. And I think the Santa Claus like he's at he's at the height of his powers. I think I've said this before. Like it's it's it's in like, uh, I don't know. Anyway, I like your idea. I'm just thinking Tim Allen,
Sonny00:16:43Tim Allen is like currently on a network sitcom that has like 10 million viewers a week. Like it's he it's it's an enormous hit as far as these things go these days. I mean, it's no it's no home improvement. I'm sure home improvement was getting like 35 million viewers a week, you know, because every every sitcom, you know, was was doing numbers like that back in the back of the 90s. But you know, the his his the thing he does now with Kat Dennings is is just an enormous, enormous hit.
Mike00:17:13That's incredible. It's incredible. I'm looking to see when when home improvement, what home improvements best number. So it averaged in its third season, 1993, 1994. Again, Santa Claus comes out 94. It averaged thirty five point two million views.
Sonny00:17:29Thirty five. Incredible. You put any piece of shit on TV. It does. Thirty five million viewers back in ninety ninety three. Ninety four is amazing. Amazing. Amazing times.
Mike00:17:38Yeah. So. All right. Well, I like the idea, Sonny. Thank you. I'll get a green light. You got you're going to you're going to green light
Sonny00:17:46this. I know I feel like we can do this for an ease for 40 or 50 million dollars. I can make this happen easily. If you you anybody out there who's listening wants to write me a check for 40 or 50 million dollars, I will happily make this movie. I can't guarantee
Mike00:18:00you I can get Tim Allen. Can we get David Krumholz? Can we get David Krumholz? I think
Sonny00:18:04I actually have an in with David Krumholz. I can get Krumholz. That's a that's a that's a guy I can get. We got Krumholz. We got Krumholz. Maybe Krumholz could be maybe Krumholz could be the inside man who betrays Santa. Yes. Krumholz. Bernard. Bernard the Elf betrays Santa. He's like, I never get to age. I have to look like this fucking kid the rest of my entire life. I'm 7000 years old and I and I have to I look like I'm a lost boy from Peter Pan. I don't want to be a lost boy anymore. Do you really
Mike00:18:35think you could have sustained this for an entire episode by yourself? I could have done.
Sonny00:18:40I think I could have gotten 30 minutes out. But I would have gone deeper on them him being just a fat piece of shit. Because it really is. It really is something else. I you know, you put that you put the nicest gloss on this that you could they're worried about him. They're not worried about him. They're disgusted
Mike00:18:56by him. I just think they're there. Yes, they are disgusted by him. Because frankly, this is how we treat fat people. It's disgusting. It's disgusting what happens to him as quickly as it does. And I think that is an important part of the story. But let's just let's just leave leave that be a great experience. I agree to disagree on that. All right. Good. Well, I am. I don't have much to say. Otherwise, other than, you know, we have had lots of time. It's been cold here in in the metropolitan, the capital region, if you will. And the DMV, the DMV, all of all of that. And so there's been lots of like sitting around watching movies. And we've like dipped into the Christmas specials as well. Which one which one do you hit up so far? So one of that we had not I had not seen in years, but that I discovered was on YouTube and we watched and my kids loved it was the Muppet Family Christmas. Are you familiar
Sonny00:19:58with Muppet Family Christmas? Muppet Family Christmas? No, yes. All right.
Mike00:20:04So the year is 1987. The Muppets have not. I guess maybe the last thing they've done is Muppets take Manhattan. Maybe that's like the last the last movie they've done. It's been a year or two. They have a 45 minute TV special, you know, ran on NBC or ABC or something. It is the premise of it is that Fozzie Bear and the rest of the Muppet Show Muppets are driving out to Fozzie's mother's farmhouse to surprise her for Christmas. It's there's a there's a there's a snowstorm happening, but they're driving out there to surprise her. What she does not. She, of course, does not know this. She is getting ready to fly out to Malibu for a Christmas in the sun. And as just as she's getting ready to go, her border comes the person who's going to who's going to, you know, stay at her house and watch her house while she is gone here. I'm sorry. Sorry. Hold on.
Sonny00:21:09Hold on. You say border. It's your but you're describing a house sitter. Yeah. House sitter. Whatever. I mean, the red border is a different thing. I don't know. Maybe Miss Miss Fozzie is like renting out her house to make ends meet because her no good son Fozzie Baird
Mike00:21:25can't support her. OK, you're you're done. OK, so it's the renter who's going to rent
Sonny00:21:33this out. It's got 20. I got 20 more minutes on Fozzie Baird, that piece of shit. So it's
Mike00:21:39Doc from Fraggle Rock. If we remember Fraggle Rock, the 80s HBO Muppets related show. So he is going to stay at the house while Fozzie's mom's gone. The Muppets show up. Chaos ensues.
Sonny00:21:54The mom decides to stay. Was Doc. Doc was one of the monsters, right? No, no. Doc was
Mike00:21:59Doc was a human. Doc's the person. OK. Yeah. No. OK. Yeah. Who's like who has the dog? Who's also there? Got you. Got you. Got you. Who's always like sniffing out the Fraggles and Doc doesn't. So Doc is there and the Muppets all show up and everybody gets, you know, the mom's like, I guess I guess I'm having you guys for Christmas. And Doc is like, oh, what's you know, hey, I thought I had this. I was going to have a quiet Christmas in the country. And now this. And, you know, there's musical there's songs, there's funny little sketches. Then the Sesame Street Muppets all show up. So like they're there and they sort of like burst in and do their thing. And then at one point the there's like a portal to the Fraggle World opens up Avengers Endgame situation going on. Totally. It is fucking Muppets. It is. It is like the it is the precursor to Avengers Endgame. But but with Muppets. And so they're all there. And so it's truly a Muppet family Christmas. It's like the entire Muppet family is in this and they squeeze in a lot. Oh, Miss Piggy, by the way, is is running late. And that snowstorm becomes a blizzard. And so she's trying to get to see this anyway. So it's very charming. It's very nice. And it turns out there's very funny subplot where there is a Muppet turkey that is trying not to get cooked by the Swedish chef. And so he keeps finding all these ways to not get killed and cooked. And at one point he pushes the like the swinging kitchen door open to the living room so that the Swedish chef can Big Bird, the Swedish chef suddenly gets an idea that like his like his jaw drops, you know, and he's like, we're a birdie birdie. And then he he literally tries to kill Big Bird before.
Sonny00:23:51Actually, that's not pretty great for Big Bird charms.
Mike00:23:54But the Big Bird, no, it's it is. I will say this. It is the it is sort of the peak of the Muppets because it is this is ends up being, I believe, the last project that is fully seen through while Jim Henson is alive. And in fact, the joke at the end of it is that the person who's in the kitchen cleaning the dishes after after everybody is gone is Jim Henson himself, like is in in human form. So it's it's it's great. It's on YouTube. There's a couple of different places to find it. I highly recommend it. My kids loved it. They thought it was very funny and very clever. And there's like running gags and all this stuff.
Sonny00:24:36And why was Jim Henson in this house?
Mike00:24:39I can't remember the actual premise. Like, I can't remember what it might have. I think it was literally like a gag at the in the credits sort of thing. It was sort of like like who's there, who's left in the house after they've all left. And it's Jim Henson and he's cleaning the dishes. So don't think too much about it. Anyway, so highly recommend we watch that one. We watched the Mickey's Christmas Carol. And which is a really good one. And my kids comment was they moved through the story really fast. But they liked it. They liked it. So anyway, that's that's that's what's been occupying us. These, you know, as we keep because there's not much to do outside. It's been too freaking cold.
Sonny00:25:25Oh, man, I wish it was cold here. It's been like it was like 90 degrees on Christmas Day
Mike00:25:30here. It's like all the sunbelt. It was like it was it was people were. My brother in law down in Atlanta, they were they had their they had their hot tub outside open and they were like chilling out in the hot tub on Christmas. Wild.
Sonny00:25:45It's like 70 today. It was ridiculous. I want it's not this is not appropriate weather for Christmas.
Mike00:25:51Well, I'd switch if I if I could. But anyway, that's that's about it. That's Oh, the other thing is that my middle son stayed up on New Year's Eve till midnight for the first time. And so that was very exciting. How old? He's he'll turn eight next month. So he was very excited to be included. And my wife did a brilliant thing, which was basically from eight to midnight. The four of us because we put the toddler down for for bed. The four of us each had an hour to determine like, okay, we're going to pass the time somehow you're in charge of this hour. So like my 11 year old was in charge of she was in charge of the first one, my 11 year old was in charge of the second one. The eight year old was charged with the third one, and I was in charge of the last one. It was like, you know, you have to come up with something where we're gonna play a game, are we gonna watch something on TV? Are we gonna play a video game or something like that, but had to include everybody. So it was it was actually a brilliant way to get them invested in passing the time, you know, because like, it's actually, it's quite, it's quite an accomplishment to get through. You know, if they, my kids go to bed, well, in the holidays, it's closer to nine, but try to be 8:30. It's like, it's a lot of time between 8:30 and midnight that they're normally in bed to like, fill some. Yeah. Um, no, it was good.
Sonny00:27:20We, uh, my, so my youngest stayed up for the first time too. Uh, but we had, we went to like a young, a younger kid's party at, uh, one of his friend's house. We were there until about 11. Okay. Um, and we, we got through, we got through the rest of the night, uh, at our house. And it was very funny. Cause he was like, he was struggling to make it, to make it. And he was, he was not, he was, uh, he was not gonna, he was not, he was not, uh, in, in good shape at the end. So midnight happens. We're like, ah, everybody happy new year. And, and I went and took him to bed and he fell asleep. Like before I had closed the door, he was out. It was, uh, it was funny.
Mike00:28:03By the way, is this is the first time I've heard this phrase, but I feel like I heard it all over the place. These noon years Eve parties have did, did this make it down in, in the, in the Dallas Metroplex? Because it's like all of these different parties and events that were happening at noon on new year's Eve. So they were calling them noon years Eve. No, you ever heard of that? I don't know what that is. You've seen this. You ever heard about that? Is that a kid's thing? It's like a kid's thing. It's like something to do with your kids on new year's Eve, but they call it noon years Eve. And it's, I saw like three or four different times and I just, it, I don't know how these things like permeate through, I guess it's through like mom networks or whatever, but it's, it was like all over the place this year. It's the first time I had heard about
Sonny00:28:47it. Okay. I don't know. No, no, that was not a thing. We did not do noon years Eve. We just went over it. Uh, we went over to his friend's house at like five, got it. Watch
Mike00:28:55some football, had some drinks. It was, it sounds wonderful. All right, well let's move on and do a little bit of box office the last weekend of 2025. Uh, just go through this real quick avatar fire and ash, uh, number one at the box office. It's second week at the box office, a pretty, uh, a pretty modest drop off from, from its first week. Um, just like under 30%. Um, number two, Zootopia, number three, Marty Supreme, sorry, Zootopia two, I should say number three, Marty Supreme, number four, the housemaid and number five in its first week on, uh, in, in theaters, Anaconda, uh, this, this remake. Um, so what do we, what do we make of the box office avatar fire and ash is doing, doing really well, I guess, or avatar fire and ash is doing pretty well.
Sonny00:29:50Uh, I mean, it's down about 20% movie over movie with avatar the way of water. Uh, I would say it is, um, uh, still probably gonna hit a, I don't know. It's probably gonna hit around $500 billion domestic. It'll do 1.7, 1, 1.6, $1.8 billion worldwide. You know, people love, people love the avatar movies. Can't, can't stop them. Can't stop them. Um,
Mike00:30:20Can I say what's amazing if, if we're, if we're done on avatar, I don't think there's much more to say. Okay. I'm just looking at the numbers here. Zootopia two being in theaters week, fewer than wicked for good. And it's basically do performing the same.
Sonny00:30:37Well, it's, it's no, you're wrong. It's actually grossed almost three times as much worldwide.
Mike00:30:43I mean, I'm looking at domestic, I'm looking at domestic domestically. It's doing it's
Sonny00:30:47it's I mean, domestically, it's gonna end up doing better than, um, right. Then then wicked part two, but the, uh, but no, it's, it's grossed. Uh, it has grossed like one, almost $1.5 billion worldwide. Um, it, it's, it did a huge amount of business in China. I did like a billion dollars in China. Um,
Mike00:31:08so like that, that's, uh, you know, it's just, it's just wild to me. Like it's, it's, you know, I, again, it was, it was a movie that kind of passed me by. We watched it recently, um, for the show, but like, uh, the, the fact that the sequel is so big is just, but it's, it's goes back to our, our mantra here. Right. Which is like, you put a kid's movie in a well-made kid's movie in theaters. It's going to do great.
Sonny00:31:35Well, it's interesting too, because I, for the record, I was exaggerating. It's going to do like 600 million in China, 500 to 600 million in China, but it's, it's an enormous hit. Um, the, uh, the, the thing that's interesting is Zootopia two, the box office on Zootopia two reminds me a little bit of the box office on Incredibles two. Um, so Incredibles two, uh, you know, comes out 13 years after the original, something like that. Uh, like some, some very long stretch of time. Um, after the original Incredibles and a lot of people were like, why are they making another Incredibles movie? I was like, people love this movie. I don't know what everyone I know loves the Incredibles. It was a, you know, kind of foundational Pixar film for them. And then it comes out and it did, I want to say it did like 1.6 billion or something like that, you know, worldwide, but it did, it did very, it did better domestically than Zootopia two is doing. I think it did 600 million domestic, something, some crazy number like that. Um, but it, but again, it's one of these things where like, It's been, it's been a decade. People were kind of like, why is this, why is this coming out? What, what's the, what's the point. And, uh, it's just a, just an enormous, enormous set. Cause the original Zootopia did fine. It didn't do this sort of this sort of, uh, you know, these sorts of numbers, right, right, right, right. It was what, 2016, right? That
Mike00:32:54one that came out.
Sonny00:32:55So yeah, it came out in 20, 2016 or 2015. Um, it was definitely like, it's like a, we talked about this a little bit. Uh, but it's like a definite, it's like a defining late Obama period where it's like, you know, uh, it just fits that era. It fits that era. So
Mike00:33:13it fits that era. So perfectly. It had no, it had no idea what was coming. Yeah. I mean,
Sonny00:33:19the other, the other kind of interesting thing is Marty Supreme, uh, is I think is around, hold on, let me actually pull up the number here. Marty Supreme's at 38, it's a 39 million domestic after, uh, um, uh, including new year's Eve grosses. Uh, so that, that's pretty much up to date, which means it's 24, right? Yeah. Which means it's like one of the, uh, it's probably one of the six highest grossing a 24 movies. Hold on. Uh, uh, give me one second here. Effort ending this. Um, I mean, I've just heard her. I've heard it is currently the seventh highest grossing, uh, a 24 film of all time domestically. Um, it'll probably, probably be in the top five. It'll be close. It'll be close to the top five by the end of the weekend. Um, if it, if it's not over, uh, so like it's, it's a, it's a, it's a big hit. It's a, you know, this is, um, and it was a big, it was a, it's a fairly big gamble by, uh, by a 24. I think they spent 60 or $70 million on this movie, which is, you know, 10 times what they usually spend on a, on a movie. Um, uh, so, you know, hopefully it does well. It's pretty good. I recommend it. It's, it's on my top 10. Um, I liked it a lot. It's, it's got a lot of uncut gems energy. If you,
Mike00:34:41if you liked uncut gems, you'll probably like this. Um, is, is, is Timothy Chalamet a, I know we're, we're, we're, we're talking everything here in relative terms, but as Tim Chalamet, like to see open movies now, is that happening? I,
Sonny00:35:00it's very hard to, I don't know. Like I, I, I am of two minds on this. I mean, I think that he, uh, he does absolutely have it. He has that indefinable, undefinable, like indescribable it quality that comes with movie stardom. I think opening this movie in particular to what they did with it. I, you know, the, the, the opening weekend, the first proper opening weekend weekend, um, you know, not in, not in limited release, $17 million, which doesn't sound like a lot, but again, this is an R rated a 24 film. It's in the middle. It comes out on Christmas, you know, Christmas weekend is the opening weekend. So it's like, it's got a lot of competition. Um, you know, if this movie, if this movie ends up doing 60 or $70 million domestic, that's, that's an enormous win. I think he gets a lot of the credit for that. Uh, you know, the, the Bob movie, uh, didn't do that well on opening weekend, but it hung around for a long time. It ended up, it ended up making a decent amount of money. Um, you know, he, I think he is pretty, and, and then you get into the movies like Wonka or Dune or Dune two, right. And those are, you know, those are kind of different things. Those are IP plays, you know, people are coming for the intellectual property. They're coming because they know Willy Wonka they're coming because they like Dune, whatever. Um, it's not quite the same thing, but I do think that he, uh, he did well enough with those movies to, to be in the conversation of like, all right, in the realm of like movie stars, people who, who have, uh, an audience who comes out to see them, who can motivate people to come out to the audience. It's a pretty small, it's a pretty small Island. And he is certainly on it. Uh, you know, like you, I think Leonardo DiCaprio has kind of fallen off it, honestly. Right. But like you guys, guys like Brad Pitt are, are still there. Um, uh, or Jason Statham, Jason Statham, you know, qualifies. Uh, so I don't know. Uh, uh, the, the alternative
Mike00:37:20explanation of course, is that, um, Mr. Wonderful is the true movie star and he's the one who opened
Sonny00:37:25he's it's entirely possible. The shark tank people, people, people love that shark tank show. I did not realize how big shark tank was until I saw this movie and people were talking about the shark tank guy. And I was like, who is the shark tank guy? Oh, because I do not watch shark tank. I'm not, I'm not, you are out of the mainstream in that. I am. I'm very out of the mainstream on this. And like, I saw somebody, I saw somebody like kind of mockingly be like, not talking about me talking about somebody else. Like, oh, we get it. You're so cool. You don't watch shark tank. You're not one of those normies. I was like, I just don't know what, I don't watch it. I don't, I don't mean to be a, I don't mean to
Mike00:37:59be stuck up. Wow. You're quite defensive there. Uh, Sonny,
Sonny00:38:04I felt attacked. I felt it. I felt like I was being personally attacked. It's a, it's
Mike00:38:09a good show. Uh, all right. Well, um, interesting. Yeah. Yeah. It's entertaining. I've watched an episode. It's entertaining. It's entertaining. That's, that's all a show like that needs to be is entertaining. It's, it's a better show than is it cake? Disagree.
Sonny00:38:28It's hard to disagree. All right. Can I show my kids shark tank? Would my kids like shark
Mike00:38:34tank? Yes. Yes. Your kids will like shark tank. I don't think I want to introduce my
Sonny00:38:38kids to shark tank though. It feels, uh, exploitative. No, it's, this is, you should love it. It's
Mike00:38:43like about rapacious capitalism and, um, but I want the warming glow of collectivism. Okay. Okay. Zoran. Uh, all right. Well, uh, let's move on and talk about, uh, the movie that we're talking about this week, which is, as I said at the top of the show, Anaconda from 1997, the movie that started it all. Uh, we're talking about this movie because there is a new Anaconda, which my really, I've just seen the promotion of this movie by Paul Rudd and Jack Black. Uh, this, this new movie, it seems to have nothing similar tonally with the original as am I correct
Sonny00:39:26in that regard, Sonny? Yeah, I'll get to that. Okay. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I jumped the gun. No, no, no, it's fine. You want to give us
Mike00:39:32a big boy review of the original, uh, uh, of the original, which by the way, headlined by Jennifer Lopez and ice cube, 1997, Anaconda.
Sonny00:39:43Anaconda from 1997 directed by Luis Lucia, the author behind the specialist that I don't know if you've seen the specialist, Mike, one of my favorite movies, uh, Sharon stone
Mike00:39:58and, uh, Sylvester Stallone movie. The, Oh, I haven't seen that one. Yeah. With, uh, turn the beat around. Right. Is that that's from that? Yeah. Yeah. Um, wait, what Gloria Stefan
Sonny00:40:10turn the beat around from the specialist. What are you talking about? Is that, is that
Mike00:40:16from, is that from the specialist? Go ahead. I didn't really, I didn't even realize that
Sonny00:40:19was from the specialist. Uh, anyway, um, uh, Anaconda, uh, as you mentioned, starring Jennifer Lopez and ice cube and John, I'll get to the cast in a minute because the cast really is key here. The thing about Anaconda and this is this, I'll just jump the gun here and say, you know, the, the new, the new Anaconda, uh, the only relationship, uh, that Anaconda has to Anaconda 2025 has to Anaconda 1997 is that one of the characters is a failing actor. He's played by Paul Rudd and he comes back to his Buffalo hometown. And he says, I have the rights to Anaconda. We should go remake it because we always used to make these creature features as kids. We're going to do it. Um, and the problem, the problem with the new, so it's a meta, it's meta, it's very meta. There's a whole joke about like the importance of IP. It's, it's, it's very aggravating. Um, but the, uh, and, and it like thinks it's getting away with this by winking at the camera and being like meta IP jokes, Jack black at one point is like Jack black at one point is like, you think Sony wouldn't care about intellectual property? And that's, uh, that was, that's one of the jokes in the movie. Anyway. Um, I actually didn't hate the new Anaconda. It almost works because I have always been, I find Jack black to be entertaining. I find Paul Rudd to be very charming. It's got Steve Zahn who is doing Steve Zahn. Steve Zahn has basically two modes. Mode one is um, like befuddled straight man and mode two is mentally damaged to dope and like he's doing mentally damaged dope here in it. It, it's very, it's very good. Uh, and also Thandie Newton is in it. I love her. Um, but the, uh, but, but the problem with the new one, the problem with the new one is that it is like self-consciously goofy and I'm putting goofy and air quotes here. You can't see me cause I'm, we're not doing video on this, but I'm putting goofy and air quotes here. Where, where it is again, it's like all of these kind of guys doing bits and they're, you know, it's ridiculous and there's, it's just this tiny crew trying to shoot this ridiculous movie and it's, you know, um, there it's, it's goofy, it's goofy. It's capital G goofy. Got it. And, and the reason that they're doing this is because over the years Anaconda has evolved from a creature feature action horror type movie into a cult classic comedy, right? Like this is why people watch it. Now people watch the 1997 Anaconda now because it is like, it's goofy, lowercase G it's just like, there are things that are happening in this movie that nobody could have predicted would happen. For instance, everything Jon Voight is doing specifically, very specifically everything Jon Voight is doing in this movie is bizarre and it, and it all somehow works because it's Jon Voight and he doesn't wink at the camera until he does actually wink in his last shot. But he's not, he's not winking at the camera. He's not doing like, Hey, I'm, I'm the Portuguese snake Hunter. I'm, I'm a pair. I'm the Paraguayan snake Hunter, Paul Cerrone wink, wink. Don't you? He instead just has like a deranged accent and he is, he's saying the most ridiculous lines. Um, and he is, and he is Uh, he is giving this performance that you, if you are Luis Loza, you can't control him because it's Jon Voight. He's Jon Voight and you're Luis Loza. And, and it, uh, and as a result, as a result, he is kind of running rough, rough shot over the whole thing. But this, but again, the, the reason the movie works and the setup here is very straight forward. It starts right on the river. This is another big advantage that this movie has over the remake. It starts right on the river. There's an action set piece with Danny Trejo, who is being hunted by a snake. We assume he, we assume he's being hunted by a snake. Um, and he kills himself. And then we cut to, uh, a, a documentary team headed by, I'm just going to use all their real names. I don't, I'm not going to bother with, but they, there's a documentary team headed by, uh, uh, explore Eric Stoltz and documentarian, Jennifer Lopez, uh, with her cameraman ice cube. And, uh, the, the narrator, Jonathan Hyde, who I say the name Jonathan Hyde, you might not remember who that is, but he's the dad slash Hunter from Jumanji. He's I, at first I was watching it. I was like, wait, is that, um, is that, uh, I was, uh, is that Amadeus? Uh, is that the guy from Amadeus? What's his name? Uh, I was like, for a second, I thought it was F Murray Abraham. I was like, F F Murray Abraham is in this movie. They got John Voight and F Murray Abraham, but no, it was, it's
Mike00:45:20Jonathan Hyde. He's a different guy. He's also, uh, Bruce is may and Titanic. Exactly.
Sonny00:45:26Exactly. Uh, so, uh, the cast, uh, and on top of that, you also have, um, you also have Owen Wilson and Carrie were now, if you don't know who Carrie were is, let me tell you, there's a lot of like late nineties Skinamax aficionados out there who will be happy to tell you who Carrie were is, but Owen Wilson and Carrie were play like the horny couple,
Mike00:45:49uh, on this, on this cruise. Is it just me? Or is the jungle make you horny? He literally
Sonny00:45:55says that. That's the line. That's the line in this movie. And so, but it's, but it's all of these, it's all of these actors, except for John Voight and like Jonathan Hyde, um, who are just about to hit it huge, right? Like you have Jennifer Lopez one year before out of sight. Uh, and I guess a year or two after Selena, but like one year before out of sight, you have ice cube after Friday, but before he becomes like mega movie star bankable. Right, right. You have Eric Stoltz. Who's like riding high, uh, who Eric Stoltz is an interesting guy. Cause he never quite made it as a leading man. He was, he never, he never quite made that jump, um, to, to full-time leading man, but he was coming off of, you know, uh, well, well, uh, lauded performance in Pulp Fiction. Right. And then you've got Owen Wilson, Owen Wilson, who again, like, uh, a couple of years later, he is making a list action movies. Like he is like, he is the guy. So th they have this, there's this amazing cast. In this movie. Um, and as a result, you get all sorts of kind of like interesting, weird performances, all of which are anchored by the worst special effects you've ever seen in your life. Um, there's so like, you know, the plot again is they're the, uh, Eric Stoltz character is trying to find this lost tribe. Uh, the documentarians are there to see it. They come across, uh, they come across Jon Voight's character who has been stranded on the, on the side of the river. They bring him on board and, and Jon Voight sets about like eliminating anybody who can tell him he can't go hunt this giant snake that he's trying to catch. Um, uh, including it, just this wonderful wasp in the, in the mouth bit
Mike00:47:40with Eric Stoltz, terrible, which, which, which also like he somehow engineers, we find
Sonny00:47:46out later, like he puts it in the mask, he puts it in the mask. Oh, that's right. That's right. That's right. When he puts the mask on, it goes, come on, man, you gotta pay attention to this movie. I get, I gotta get lost on the plot points. That was a little, um, uh, but the, uh, but the, um, uh, Oh, I got, I've lost my train of thought here. Uh, but the, the, you know, the plot is very straightforward and it's just, it's just a creature feature. It's just like the monster shows up, monster shows up and he starts killing people one at a time and they die in horrible ways. And the problem is that this movie, this movie like looked at Jurassic park and was like, wow, Jurassic park combined animatronics and CGI. We could do that. And it's the worst CGI again, you've ever seen in your entire life. It's just the, it's just really terrible. Um, and it was terrible at the time. And this is another reason why I kind of became a cult classic. It was cause like, I can't believe they would put this in theaters. They can't believe they would, they would subject us to this,
Mike00:48:47that, that the first like fully on screen kill that the snake makes of, um, of the, of the, the driver or the, the, the pilot of the, of the boat. Yeah. Mateo Mateo is the character. Um, it's, I literally could not, I was watching it for, for the show. It was like, I can't believe that some like that multiple people in a, in a real movie studio, like looked at that and we're like, that's it. We got it. Put it out there, print it. Let's get this, this one out to theaters because it is so, it would have looked bad 10 years earlier. It would have looked back in 1987. It was so bad. It looks horrible.
Sonny00:49:37And it like looks even worse because they do have like shots with an animatronic stake that like, again, it's like, it's a fake snake. It's fake, but at least it doesn't look like, you know, a, a, a wrath, a wraith. Like it just is ridiculous. Anyway. Um, long story, very, very long story short here. Uh, I, the movie has, the movie has taken a place of pride in, in the memories of legions of people because it is earnestly, I mean, it's camp. This is like, this is the actual definition of camp, right? Is that like, you can't intentionally set out to make camp. You have to, it has to happen unintentionally. You have to, you know, um, things, things have to go horribly wrong, but in a genuine way. And that is what, that is what happened with this movie. And it's why it's so fundamentally rewatchable that this is like, Hey, this is, this is, I dare you to watch this movie and not be entertained by Jon Voight. You cannot do it. It's so, it's so ridiculous. Um, and so that's, that's why it works. And again, this is why the new one doesn't really work is because it's self-consciously like, Hey, we're silly. We're making a silly movie here. Look at how silly we are. And like, just make a, just make a movie, just make the movie, just do it and, and let the chips fall where they may. Right, right, right. Um, well it's, it's, it's, it's too,
Mike00:51:04I, having not seen the new one, but like it, it, it's clearly just so wrapped up in the cult aspect of this one. Yeah. And, and like nothing can be sincere, right? Like it all has to be sort of ironic, which is a shame because
Sonny00:51:23I got a question for you. I got a question for you. Uh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt.
Mike00:51:27Well, I didn't have anything to say. I wasn't having to say, ask you your question, Mike.
Sonny00:51:31Were you surprised by how incredibly horny this PG 13 movie was 100%? So you had said,
Mike00:51:39sent me something like letting me know about this, but like, had you not even sent that to me? I was like, this is the horniest move. I think I said, I texted you and JVL when I was watching, it's like, this is the horniest movie I've ever seen. Like, like there is the aforementioned line about how the jungle makes you horny. Um, like again, I mean, just casting Carrie war is, is like, like ups the horniness immediately. But even before that, the very first shot of Jennifer Lopez, it's like, she's got like, she's got like no bra on and it's all, it's like, right. It's right in your face. Um, and, uh, it's just, it, and like, as soon as Eric Stoltz comes in, it's like, oh, they're like a thing. And they're, they're like horny the whole time. And, um, and, and then, yeah, you have the Owen Wilson, Carrie were thing. And like, and of course one of the famous, one of the infamous John Voight, uh, moments, the, the, maybe the most memeable part of this movie is, uh, is when he's like doing that, you know, thousand yard horny stare at Jennifer Lopez while she's like, she's like putting her hair up or something and he's like staring at her and he's like, oh, you know, biting slippers on these. It's like, it's so, and I guess again, I mean, you know, it's, it's a movie about an anaconda, you know, we, we all know Sir Mix a lot. We all know how that,
Sonny00:53:03how that song goes. Well, I, and it's, and it's the Carrie were thing is fascinating too, because it's like, she, she, she, she shows up in the movie and it's not like she's wearing a ton of clothes as it is. And like, she gets progressively closer to being topless, but it's like somebody, it's like somebody at the last second remembered, oh shit, this is a PG 13 movie. We can't just have her doing the Skinamax thing. Uh, you gotta keep your clothes on. And it's like, it's almost like she's disappointed. It's almost like, I, I like, it makes two of us. It's, it's, it's like, she's, it's like, she's like, ah, come on now, now, now do I do it now? Do I take my clothes on? It was, it's, it's, it's a, why I, I don't understand why you would make this movie PG 13, frankly, I don't understand like why I, I guess there's a, I guess there's a box office benefit to it because you know,
Mike00:53:52but yeah, I'm in the mid late nineties. I don't know. Because the other thing is that like the violence is, I mean the violence is cartoony, but it's not, it would not be unreasonable to think that this on the violence alone, it could possibly get a rated R. Um, you like, you, you like get a little more blood and like a little like linger on a shot a little more here there. And like, it gets pretty gruesome, you know, for, for a campy cheesy horror movie. Um, I dunno, like I think it's what's, here's the other thing, a couple more thoughts that I had watching this movie. So basically the first like 50, so, okay. How long is this movie? This movie is less than 90 minutes long. It's like 82 minutes before credits. Uh, so like the first 45 minutes of this movie, like the first half, maybe plus of this movie, uh, Jennifer Lopez, the star of the movie, the very first lie, you know, the very first credit, uh, when this movie begins, she basically does nothing. She's like, she doesn't have anything to do in this movie. She just is kind of like a bump on a log. She, I, she gets upset when, uh, when, when Eric Stoltz gets hurt and she, but she's like not the leader of anything like, like she's just kind of there. And then she, she does get things sort of at the end to do. Um, but I mean, basically John Voight like steps onto the boat and this whole movie is his from like that moment. And it's, it is interesting to know, like you have all these people, JLo ice cube, uh, Owen Wilson. And like, they just kind of are background characters to John Voight. And it's just, it's, it's, it's remarkable. It's remarkable to me that, that that's the power of somebody with his, I don't know, presence, his presence on screen. Um, he's like, his lines are, some of them are legitimately great. Like, yes, I know it's like campy and it's like written, you know, to be campy, but, uh, hold on. I, I had a few of them up here. Um, okay. So they, okay. So what he's describing the Anika, I actually loved this line. They strike it's, but you have to think of it. It's in this ridiculous South American accent that he has. They strike wrap around you, hold you tighter than your true love. And you get the privilege of hearing your bones break before the power of embrace causes your veins to explode. That's a great line. And he does
Sonny00:56:32a great, and he like he delivered, I mean, he delivers it, delivers it perfectly, delivers
Mike00:56:37the hell out of that line. And I just, I like, I love it. Owen Wilson and ice cube both feel like they're in a different movie. Um, and you do get the feeling that like Owen Wilson's almost feels like, like, I just got to do one more of these things of like a sort of a thankless, you know, stupid role. And then, and then I'm off. Like he, I don't know. Do you, did you get that feeling that he's sort of like, he kind of knows that like he doesn't have to do this shit for much longer. Like he's about to, to hit it bigger, but I don't know. What do you write? Cause like behind enemy lines is, uh, is not that much longer.
Sonny00:57:17Uh, behind enemy lines doesn't come out until 2001.
Mike00:57:212001, right? Yeah. Yeah. So what, like, cause what, what else? Oh, there's the Royal Tenenbaums.
Sonny00:57:25There's Royal Tenenbaums. He's, he's doing some, he's doing some, uh, he's doing some
Mike00:57:31Wes Anderson stuff. Right. Oh, he does Armageddon next year. That's the, that's the movie. He
Sonny00:57:35does Armageddon. Right. Armageddon is like his big kind of indie role, but then Royal Tenenbaums. And then, you know, um, I, when, when do, when do the Shanghai nights movies
Mike00:57:45come out? I feel like that's around Shanghai noon is 2000. So that's just like, but that's
Sonny00:57:49what I mean. Like, but yeah, he's, he's like right there.
Mike00:57:51He's right about to hit it. And I just, I get the feeling watching it again. It's sort of, uh, you know, with the knowledge of what's coming that he kind of has, he's like, he's a little, I don't want to say he's phoning it in, but it's, he's not giving it 100% is
Sonny00:58:09all is what I would say. He's also, he's in the, the haunting, which comes out right around this time. Like 99, I think that comes out 98 or 99. But again, it's like kind of another small, like supporting part. Um, I don't know. It's just, again, it's very, it's very interesting. Uh, what, what's going on in this? What do you think of ice cube in this
Mike00:58:32movie? I think like everything that makes ice cube so much fun to watch is like, he's got it all in this movie. Like it's, it's, it's, I mean, I know he, like you said, he heard it on Friday, but I, I just, he's so, he's so great. I love him in this movie.
Sonny00:58:46It's interesting. Cause I thought Friday, I thought Friday came out the same time as this or like a year later. And the first Friday comes out in 95, 94, 95 boys in the hood comes out, you know, 93, 94, something like that. 92. Right. Right. Um, uh, so he'd, he'd been around a while and he was still, you know, he was still doing music and whatever, but
Mike00:59:06he was a rapper in movies. He was not yet a, like an actor. Right. I think, I mean,
Sonny00:59:14I would still say, I'm not sure that he's really an actor. Okay. Not an actor, but like he's never, I mean, look, he's a legit movie star now. He is, he's a, he's a, and, and, but this is definitely the sort of, this is the, this is the first time I think where you see his full movie star potential. Cause like Friday he's funny. Um, but he's also kind of the straight man in that movie, right? Like he's like, he's like, he's like the thing that everybody else is bouncing off of. And here he is the spice that, that kind of makes everything, um, sing a little, uh, to mix all my metaphors here. He's the spice that makes everything sing better. I don't know.
Mike00:59:52All right. Uh, any other thoughts on Anaconda or anything we didn't, I mean, it's, it's so, it's so bad. It's good. I mean, it really is one of these, like, it's so bad. It's good movies.
Sonny01:00:02It really is. I know the funniest, funniest thing in the movie to me is that like the, the very closing shot of the film where they see the hidden tribe. Yes. And they're like, they're like, look, they came to wish us farewell. And it's, it's, it's like, it really is. I swear to God, The studio is like, wait, didn't we, weren't they here to see a tribe? We gotta get a shot of the tribe. We gotta get, get some tribesmen out there. We gotta shoot.
Mike01:00:28I so wanted them to like say that, you know, oh, they've, you know, and like they wave at them and then like the tribe to like immediately like attack and kill every single one of them.
Sonny01:00:38Like They should, the tribe, which worships the snakes should, should be like, what have you done with our queen, our God, with our goddess, uh, you're not, you're not getting outta here. Pale skin. No, you're dead. You're gonna put you on a spit and roast you.
Mike01:00:52Would've been great. Would've been great. Um, all right. Well, uh, I think that's all the time we're going to give to this episode. Uh, once again, remember to, uh, comment@subbeacon.com. Tell your friends and family to listen to the show at subbeacon.com and we will talk
Sonny01:01:11to you next time. I'm going to guess with like all of the, cause I saw that it was a series. I'm gonna guess
Mike01:01:32there's five.
Sonny01:01:34There's anaconda. There's anacondas, the hunt for the blood orchid. There's anaconda three offspring. There's anaconda four. It's anaconda's trail of blood. Then there's Lake Placid versus anaconda.
Mike01:01:49Now is that, is that a strictly an anaconda cannon film because
Sonny01:01:54Wikipedia for the anaconda series. So I think it counts. I think it's cannon. I think it's cannon. Um, and then there's anaconda, the, the 2025 reboots. So that's six, that's six movies in the anaconda series. There are six anacondas. Can you believe it somehow? I can't
Mike01:02:13believe it. By the way, the last thing I'll say on this is the, uh, I was mentioning my kids that I, that I watched this movie called Anaconda. I explained to them what the plot of it was. And, uh, I was very, I was very proud because my kids, uh, response was, oh, anaconda. That's like the plan. They're like, they've gotten huge into like military history over the last like six months. That was the anaconda plan, which was, uh, the, the, the union plan in the civil war to cut off the South. Um, and they were like spouting. I was like, great. I'm glad I don't have to like explain more about like the, the, like the man. Eating snake. Like they were off on their, on their civil war. Uh, yeah, they're going
Sonny01:02:53to be very, they're going to be very confused when they see this movie eventually. They're
Mike01:02:57going to be like, what's going on? No, I think, I think, I think things will be clarified very quickly. Once they watch this movie, there will be no confusion about what this
Sonny01:03:04movie is about. I just think it's worth pointing out just for the record that, uh, you know, in July of 2008, two movies came out that revolutionized the film industry. One was the dark night, uh, released on July. 18th, 2008. And then one week later, one week later, Anaconda three offspring drops and it changes the game forever. It changes the whole Anaconda universe. I starring David Hasselhoff. Sure. I'm sure it's fine.
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