#255. 'Bad Boys II' (Hulu)
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This bonus rewatch episode revisits Michael Bay's 2003 Bad Boys II, prompted by the theatrical release of Bad Boys: Ride or Die, and the trio land on wildly different verdicts. Sonny is rapturous, declaring it "500 stars out of five" and framing it as a John Waters-style masterpiece of trash cinema — citing the rat-sex scene, corpses tumbling out of a moving van, the gay-panic Best Buy sequence, and above all the deranged finale in which local cops, the DEA, and ex-Special Forces stage a Bay of Pigs-style Hummer invasion of a Cuban favela to rescue Gabrielle Union, which he calls the purest post-9/11 expression of Michael Bay's id. JVL mostly agrees, landing on "it's not even a good movie, but it is an awesome movie" — too much icing on the cake, but "funny as shit" thanks to Martin Lawrence (pre-breakdown, at his Bill Murray/Eddie Murphy-level peak) and a stacked supporting cast including Peter Stormare, Joe Pantoliano, and John Salley. Mike, who loved the film at fifteen on its original release, is the lone dissenter on rewatch: he finds Martin Lawrence's schtick grating and the film's violence (the cadaver run-over gag, the Klan cameo from a then-unknown Michael Shannon) more tasteless than funny, though he concedes Will Smith holds up far better. Before getting to the movie, the hosts spend the first third of the episode on Sony's acquisition of the Alamo Drafthouse, unpacking the Paramount Decrees, block booking, and vertical integration at length, plus JVL's saga of replacing his broken refrigerator (and the maddening shards of packaging plastic that won't fully peel off) and Mike's chaotic last-day-of-school water-balloon party, pitting a group of weepy first graders against a group of stoic fourth graders. Trivia flagged along the way includes Diddy and Dr. Dre's music-producer credits and the reveal that Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen did an uncredited punch-up pass on the script — which Sonny says explains a lot.
From the show notes
Demented genius!
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00Since 9/11, we've gone high tech over the water, so the dope runners have gone low. The biggest shipment on record is coming in tonight, and we want to know who's behind it. What could go wrong with that? We view a lot. I can't be in a gunfight every day. We just want to talk. You want to talk? They can't hear you, because they're still shooting at you. You all right, man? Welcome to the Sub-Beacon Podcast.
Mike00:00:36I'm your co-host, Mike Warren, and this shit just got real. It's my co-hosts, Jonathan V. Last and Sonny Bunch. Join us over at subbeacon.com. Where you can become a patron, tell your friends and family about the show, comment, listen to new episodes every Friday, comment, join the conversation at subbeacon.com. We're going to be talking about Bad Boys 2, going back a little bit, going back what? About 20, 21 years later on in the show. But first, Sonny, you've got some big news. Would you consider it personal, personal news? Uh, wait, no, it wasn't, it wasn't you that made a big purchase today.
Sonny00:01:22Sonny Studios bought the Alamo Draft. No, uh, Sony, Sony pictures brought the Alamo, Sony, some, some arm of Sony. It's not a hundred percent clear to me that this is necessarily Sony pictures. It's Sony experiences is what this is going to fall under. But Sony in one of its corporate guises bought the Alamo Drafthouse, which is good news. I think, uh, you know, a little, little background here. The Alamo Drafthouse had been owned by Tim league for a long time. He and his team of investors started selling off pieces of the Drafthouse. Uh, I want to say in 2019 they had, they had sold off, uh, parts of Mondo. They had sold off, you know, um, which is the poster and toy part of the business. They sold off, uh, birth movies death, which was a website that they had run. Um, and then Tim league sold off his stake in. Uh, the, the Drafthouse itself, um, the, the theater portion of it, uh, and, uh, it doesn't really matter that much. The, the long and the short of it is, uh, during the, the, or in the aftermath of the pandemic, they had to declare bankruptcy, uh, but it was a reorganizational bankruptcy, a private equity firm bought the corporate, uh, structure and they have. Since been like trying to sell it, they have been, they, they, they don't want to own this forever. It's not a forever thing for them. They've been, they've been trying to sell it. Um, now this is separate from what I was talking a little bit about last week with the, uh, Dallas Fort worth area Drafthouses, which were owned by a franchisee and they declared liquidation bankruptcy. That was not, they declared not reorganizational bankruptcy. They declared we got to pay off our, our creditors and get rid of, uh, you know, all the, all the equipment in the theater.
JVL00:03:1730,000 gallons of fake butter.
Sonny00:03:19Yeah. You want, you want, no, it's real calcified butter or real clarified butter. Real clarified, I don't know what calcified means, uh, real clarified butter, um, 30,000 gallons of it. Uh, and also some photo booths and, uh, and some Furiosa glasses. They got a few of those left.
JVL00:03:37I don't know if you guys, uh, the standups, the old standups or the despicable me for standup. We'll get that right here. We're an auction it off.
Sonny00:03:46Get some, get some pride out. The Alamo shirts that are probably still in the, in the storage, the, uh, so anyway, uh, the, but Sony has decided to buy the draft house, which is a fascinating move on a number of levels. This is, I think what people were kind of waiting for to happen when the paramount decrees were repealed a few years back, department of justice said that these don't apply anymore. They're, they're not really necessary.
Mike00:04:10The industry has changed so much that the, can you explain to the folks at home what the paramount decrees were?
Sonny00:04:17Back in 1948, uh, the big studios were sued, um, uh, for being monopolies essentially because they, they, you know, the studios used to exist as basically vertically orient vertically integrated businesses. They owned the, they own the production, they own the distribution and they own the exhibition and they, they took a cut of all that. Now it was divvied up, you know, slightly differently, but basically, um, they, they owned all of them and they also did these. There's this practice that was known as block booking and this was the thing that really set off the antitrust argument, which is, uh, they would basically say like, okay, do you want the new, uh, do you want the new Hitchcock movie? If you want the new Hitchcock movie, you have to take the new, um, the new Mary Pickford thing or whatever. I'm, I'm just throwing names out there. It doesn't matter. Uh, I don't think either of these names actually is period appropriate, but it, it, the point is they would, they were, uh, they were essentially requiring theater change. And competing theaters that were owned by other studios to say, well, if you want the movies with the stars, you gotta take the shit too. And that was, that was frowned upon. That was, that was not, people didn't, people didn't like that. It was bad. Um, anyway, long story short, the, uh, the rise of streaming, the decreased importance of theatrical and the simple fact of the matter that no theater chain can exist successfully by doing something like that. Like you couldn't Sony can't buy the Alamo draft house and show only Sony movies. Sure. That would not work. That just wouldn't work as a business proposition. There aren't enough Sony movies. You couldn't, unless they made 50 Spider-Man movies a year, you could not don't put that
JVL00:06:04in Tim Rothman's head.
Sonny00:06:06Well, if they made, well, if they made 10 Spider-Man movies and 10 venom movies and 10 madam web movies a year, that's, that's the 60% of the year right there.
Mike00:06:1610 madam web.
Sonny00:06:17Yeah. Well, it's, it's interesting. It's interesting that you mentioned Tom Rothman because Tom Rothman has been, is the head of Sony. Um, he is a, he is a very big champion of theatrical Sony does not have a streaming service. Um, and you know, they would say that this is a strategic choice on, on their end. They don't, they arms dealer, they prefer to be arms dealers. They did try, Sony did try to integrate a video streaming service into the PlayStation universe of devices and it just never really took. Those that, that did, it just never really worked. Um, so they, they prefer, and they, they have a very good setup. They're basically the only studio at this point who doesn't have, they were the only major studio that doesn't have a streaming service that they need to fill and feed with food. So what they do is they make a movie, they take the theatrical gross, they get the VOD money, they get, uh, you know, whatever DVD and Blu-ray sales are left and then they sell the rights to the movies to Netflix or. Uh, you know, just to the highest bidder to stars, whatever, for the, for the highest bidder. And it's, it's an enormous source of revenues, Netflix, Netflix. I think Netflix has a window one or window two deal with them. That is incredibly valuable. It's it's incredible. We're talking like tens of millions of dollars per title. Um, so the, the, you know, it's, it's, it's a nice setup for them. Um, Rothman himself again is, is pretty committed to theatrical. He was talking recently about how theaters have gotten too expensive. He thinks theaters need to be cheaper. We'll see if this, you know, if this is a thing he can implement at the draft house, which has a slightly different business model than other, uh, than other theater chains. We'll see. I mean, frankly, I, my biggest concern with this, uh, outside of the fact that I don't think this was, this will have any real impact on the DFW locations because those are owned by the franchisee, not by corporate. It's not clear. It's not clear that those, this will, this will bring my theaters back any faster. Although I did. A little bit of background, a little bit of scoop here for you guys, a little, a little. Here we go.
Mike00:08:22Breaking news.
Sonny00:08:23No, but I, I, I have heard, and I don't think, I don't think this is like a big secret that the, the corporate, uh, Alamo entity was like blindsided by the DFW, uh, bankruptcy that they had, they had gotten no heads up that it was, you know, um, it was, it was not a thing that had, uh, it was certainly not. It was, it was a thing that maybe the franchisee had mentioned, but had not told them was going to happen. And part of me wonders, frankly, if it, if they still would have gone through with the bankruptcy, um, if they would have held out for another two weeks, if, if they knew this news was coming, because, uh, you know, God only knows what language there is in the franchise contract of what happens if, if somebody buys the corporate entity, do the franchises maybe get a period to sell back the rights? Like I, you know, I, I don't know. I don't know.
JVL00:09:14Um, I wonder if this thing actually goes the other way. What do you mean? The Sony deal couldn't happen until the franchisees went out of business.
Sonny00:09:22Yeah, but they can't be the only franchises. But there, there are multiple franchises. Yeah. I mean, that, that's the thing is that, I don't know. I, I, I honestly don't know. Who knows? Uh, so I, I don't think it's going to make any real difference on that end. The thing I am most worried about, frankly, is that Sony will not have the same sort of maniacal interest in audiences. Audience behavior, because that is, that is not necessarily, um, you know, something that the, that the, the filmmaker, it's not something that the studio cares about. The studio cares about getting people into the theaters and keeping them happy. Um, and they, they don't necessarily care about, oh, you're worried that the Sony Alamo
JVL00:10:07won't throw the, the bad people out.
Sonny00:10:09I want them to, I want them to institute like an even harsher regime, like a, like a, I mean.
JVL00:10:17Where the movie gets paused and the person is brought up and caned in front and then sent out?
Sonny00:10:23Ninjas jump out of the walls, slice off heads, because it's Sony from Japan, you
JVL00:10:28know? That's what they have there.
Sonny00:10:30They have the ninjas. Oh, I get it. Uh, the, um, but I think it's, I think it's actually a great deal. I think it's a great, like those two, those two worries aside, I think it's actually a great deal for everybody involved. I think it makes a lot of sense, uh, for the private equity firm that owns Alamo. They didn't want to be in this business. I think it makes a lot of sense for Sony. There are so many, there are so many, uh, avenues, uh, they, you know what they can do? They can synergize. They can synergize things, guys. There's so many synergies. For instance, you could have PlayStation video game tournaments at the, at the Alamo's. You could set up a whole regular, uh, Sony of course owns Crunchyroll, which is the, the nation's premier anime, uh, purveyor. They can, they could really. They could, they could really beef that up and, you know, get in, maybe make some partnerships with like Barnes and Noble and they can, you can have a manga and an anime thing going on. You know, I don't know. There's, there are a lot of different things.
JVL00:11:29I have a question.
Sonny00:11:30Yes.
JVL00:11:31Sorry, Mike. You were about to ask something.
Mike00:11:33No, I have a question as well, but I want to hear JVL's question.
JVL00:11:37So in the, the history of antitrust, most of the time, the end result of an antitrust action is good for consumers. Um, the classic example of this being breaking up bell, um, which freed up and made things like the cell phone revolution possible. Um, I think the paramount decree was ultimately bad for consumers because the truth is that exhibition really isn't a viable business is the wrong answer. Exhibition isn't a, a pillar business. It's not a tent pole business. It is a very, it's much closer to like, uh, like food service, you know, like incredibly small margins, uh, you know, people can, can die quickly. I really feel like maybe I'm just sort of trying this on from the side. Maybe the industry actually, the economics in the industry make more sense with vertical integration.
Sonny00:12:43I would say, I think that's probably wrong. I think that's probably wrong. Uh, at least in the sense that again, the thing, the thing that was most aggravating about the vertical integration was the practice of block booking and getting rid of block booking did free up.
JVL00:12:59I mean it, it didn't, we get it. We saw a block booking. If you want Spider-Man homecoming, you have to take this other movie as well.
Sonny00:13:09You don't have that. You don't have that. That's actually very illegal.
JVL00:13:12But isn't it happening? I mean, it may not be, it may be illegal. That doesn't mean it's not.
Sonny00:13:17I mean, I, I think it's happening to the extent that there are so little product in the market anyway that it doesn't, nobody, the, the, the, the, the movie theaters are also different now than they were 80 years ago, right? Now you have 15 screen.
JVL00:13:31They were palaces, right?
Sonny00:13:32They were single screen theaters before you would have one screen and that was the one screen and there would be four showings a day and that was, that was all you got. Now you have, you know, eight to 15 screens in any given theater. So like it doesn't actually, it doesn't actually, yeah. Um, the, the, the real issue in this regard is Disney saying, if you want to show star wars, the force awakens, you need to play it on your biggest screens in your best auditoriums for four straight weeks. Right.
JVL00:14:03Uh, and we are going to take for that as higher than our cut is for inside out.
Sonny00:14:07And we're going to take 72% of the, the, the gross for those, those titles. And that like that, that's a bigger problem in terms of. The business of, of theatrical exhibition, but the, the actual, um, the, but, uh, but I still think it's, I think, I don't think that has as big an impact on consumers because like, again, the problem with block booking is that you would get a lot of dreck. Like you would, the studios would subsidize a lot of things that didn't work by forcing the theaters to take them with the things that did work.
JVL00:14:39And then we just call that Netflix.
Sonny00:14:42Right now. No, I mean, totally. I mean, that is actually almost literally the Netflix model. Um, but the, but the, uh, you know, the big, the big, uh, getting rid of that did not immediately lead to the, you know, the boom in the 19, the late fifties, early sixties, seventies hot new Hollywood era. But I think you could draw, you would draw a kind of a curvy wavy line to get from the end of block booking to the rise of the seventies auteurs. It, I mean, again, I, I'm not, I'm not a Hollywood historian. This is just my understanding. Um, but I, I do think that there is. There's a, I think there's a real connection there. And I, again, I think the, the, the industry has changed so much that it just, it, the, the same worries don't, don't hold. It would be one thing if like Disney, the biggest, the biggest studio, the biggest, you know, box office studio still, I guess, technically, I think, uh, no, I think, I think Disney was, but I don't know if, if, if Disney, the owners of Marvel. And, you know, Pixar and everybody else and star Wars said, we're going to buy AMC, the biggest movie theater chain. And we're going to, and it's only going to be our stuff, except we'll put, you know, Warner brothers on one screen and we'll, we'll put paramount on two screens.
JVL00:16:00That would be, you're in theater 16 to the left.
Sonny00:16:04Yeah. Mission impossible eight is in the 20 seat shoe box down the row. First weekend. Like if that, if that was going on, I think we'd be looking at a different, we'd be having a different conversation right now. But Sony is a smaller studio and they are, I mean, it's still a major, it's the probably the smallest of the majors. Um, but it, uh, and they are buying the smallest circuit. I mean, they're the Alamo draft house for all we talk about it on the show is only, I think 45 theaters nationwide, something like that.
Mike00:16:36So it's not, it's not a big HBO of theater chains.
Sonny00:16:39Yeah.
Mike00:16:40Well, this gets to Sonny's fear, right? Will, will it become, will it become no longer the Alamo?
JVL00:16:46Will it become the HBO Max theater chains?
Mike00:16:49No, they'll just stop calling it the Alamo. They'll just call it draft house. No, they'll just call it, they'll just call it a house.
Sonny00:16:55They'll call it Sony house.
Mike00:16:57Max house.
Sonny00:16:58Um, so anyway, I don't know. I mean, I, I think it's, I think it's probably a net positive for everyone involved. Uh, I think there are some questions and again, I don't know that this will actually benefit me in any real way because my theater is still closed, but we'll see.
Mike00:17:13Um, all right. Well, I guess my. We can skip my question. No, what's your question?
Sonny00:17:19Ask your question.
Mike00:17:21Well, you, you kind of touched on this because you mentioned that Sony doesn't have a streaming service, but in terms of the actual dollars and cents, like what, what is ultimately the sort of vision, visiony benefit here for Sony, um, to have these, is it, is it simply like a prestige buy for them?
Sonny00:17:42I don't, I mean, look, I think, uh, I mean, God only knows. I, I am not, I'm not going to pretend that I'm in the boardroom at Sony looking at these things, but I do think, I think if you have an ounce of vision for what theaters could be, and you are a company like Sony that has a lot of fingers on a lot of different, uh, a lot of, you know, you know, one thing, one thing they could do that I haven't even really thought of until this moment, I don't think Sony makes theater projectors, but I think Sony could make theater projectors. And if you have a, if you have a theater chain. That you are testing those out on, like that's, that could be a useful thing. That's a, that's an interesting test case, um, for it. I, you know, I, again, I, I don't, I don't know. I don't know. As JVL says, theaters are not great moneymakers that they're not huge. They're not huge. Uh, you don't get huge profit margins.
JVL00:18:40They only really make sense as a vehicle to make money for the things they show.
Sonny00:18:46Yes. Yes. Well, yeah. And look, and the other, and the other thing is, uh, you know, how is Sony going to enjoy being essentially partners with Disney, with Paramount, with Warner Brothers, because they're going to be showing movies from those companies and they're going to have to be sending them money. What are the negotiations on splits going to look like, et cetera, et cetera. I mean, I, if I were one of the other studios, I'd be kind of like, okay, well, do we really want to be making money for Sony? I like, is that a thing we want to do? Or is it a, or is it? I mean, it's not, I mean, it's, it's not really a zero sum game. If everybody's making money, that's good. Right.
JVL00:19:21The other consideration is that Sony is an acquisition target. I mean, at some point, unless things change, either the Warner discovery behemoth or Jeff Pezos or Disney, we'll look at buying Sony. Um, like Paramount will, Paramount will wind up sold first, but like we are in the great shrinking and consolidation of the studio system and Sony is buyable.
Sonny00:19:51I do think it becomes slightly less buyable with this though. I do think like if, if Warner brothers wanted a theater chain, they could have bought the draft house, right? You know, if, if Disney wanted a theater chain, they could buy regal, you know, if Amazon
JVL00:20:06wanted, if Amazon, Amazon doesn't want that though, I, I, for a long time, I thought
Sonny00:20:11Amazon actually made a lot of sense as a, the purchaser of a movie studio for no other reason than it gives them a lot of real estate in a lot of places from which they can launch drones to send packages. If, if for no other reason it could serve as a good hub, but they don't need that. They have their own, they have their own warehouse system throughout the country. I, I just, I don't know. I don't know. I don't think they, I don't think, I don't, I also don't think Amazon is actually serious about being a movie studio. I think it's all kind of a weird lark for them. The whole MGM thing.
JVL00:20:44Jeff Bezos wanted to fuck Hollywood actresses.
Sonny00:20:46Yeah, but then that's, that's it. Lauren Sanchez or whatever name it.
Mike00:20:51Like I, I, I just want a drone to bring my popcorn to my seat.
JVL00:20:55Did I, did I, did you guys clock the, the best Amazon reveal of the last like year? So you remember when Amazon closed their Amazon fresh stores?
Mike00:21:07Yes. Yeah.
JVL00:21:09So the, the idea of the Amazon fresh store was this revolutionary model where you just walk in, you pick up your. Groceries and you walk out with them and there's no checkouts, there's no nothing. And just the magic of Amazon figures out what you've bought and charges your Amazon account. Did you guys clock in the, the stories about how that, how that was actually working?
Sonny00:21:31It was, it was, it was all just a, it was a bunch of Indians. Yes. Just keeping track of what you would put in your basket.
JVL00:21:36They just had cameras everywhere and there were, you know, low wage Indian workers in a call center, basically watching people stop shop. And marking what they were putting into the cart and tallying it up.
Mike00:21:51It's like the door. It's like the Theranos of grocery. Yes.
Sonny00:21:56Yes. That's amazing. I mean, I think it was slightly more complex than that, but it, but that's, that is, that is like, that is almost exactly what I read was like, they're wait, they're just, they just had guys watching. They just had guys watching you shop.
JVL00:22:11You could pay people like, uh, 45 cents an hour and it makes the. The people in Fairfax County think that they're, Oh, look at this technology. I'm living in the future. That's great.
Mike00:22:24Um, all right. Well, JVL, what's going on with you?
JVL00:22:27I, so real quick, because we just spent 22 minutes on the business of Hollywood. Uh, so I, I had to get a new refrigerator, new refrigerator came. Yes. The old refrigerator was fine, basically, except that it was a bottom drawer freezer and one of the gear assemblies on the, the drawer. It broke and replacing those pieces of plastic, which are only sold in sets. You can't just buy one of them was, was going to be like $400, uh, which is that $400 just
Sonny00:22:59for the part or the $400 for the part, but to buy the part and get it installed. Okay.
JVL00:23:04Yeah. For the part. I know. I think I probably could have whatever. Anyway, uh, that is one third the cost of a refrigerator. And so spending $400 on a 10 year old refrigerator seemed like a bad. Bet for me. And so I, I bought a Samsung that is well regarded by consumer reports. I bought it without ever going to see it in person. Um, just because like, you know, like your size constraint, right? I mean, you are, these things are all built in and so you're correct. You're constrained in what your choices are. Uh, anyway, I, I would say that I have one, one big problem with the new refrigerator, which is that like all electronic things. They, it comes entirely wrapped in plastic and that plastic is put on when it's being assembled so that the edges are tucked in between like the front panel and the side panel.
Mike00:24:00Yep.
JVL00:24:01Yep. And when you pull it off, you're not getting all of the plastic.
Mike00:24:07No, you're not.
JVL00:24:08Like it tears and they're little tiny bits of plastic sticking out everywhere. And I. I'm going to lose my fucking mind. I may have to take the front panels off of these doors and to get all of the plastic out because otherwise, every time I'm in the kitchen, I'm just staring at it, staring at those little like fucking, you know, it's like point four millimeters of of clear plastic sticking up, just laughing at me. And I'm like, who's whose idea was this? That this is the way. I mean, there are ways to wrap it in plastic so that it is simply adhered on either with with an adhesive or just simple pressure, right? And you don't have to tuck it in and fold it in over the piece.
Mike00:25:01Well, I would love I would love to hear like or read something about the the sense that they are saving by by doing that as opposed to do you know what I'm talking about, Michael? I totally see this and it drives me crazy, too.
JVL00:25:18Am I the idiot? Is it like somebody's going to going to leave a comment and be like, no, the way everybody fixes this is they just do X, Y, you know, you take a spoon and the spoon scrapes it all out. And that's what everybody does.
Mike00:25:30If you're an idiot, I am, too, because like I look it up on YouTube. Not yet.
Sonny00:25:35Oh, that's not yet.
Mike00:25:36Did you say because I can't stop staring at the fucking fridge here's wrapping plastic
Sonny00:25:40from fridge YouTube.
Mike00:25:42Here's the difference between you and me, though, JVL is it annoys the hell out of me. And then I just I then I then it's just in the back of my head. OK, throw it on the throw it on top of the other list of things that are like minorly annoying to me in my house and in my life. And I feel like you you're you're much more you're going to try to find a solution.
JVL00:26:04I mean, I probably will, although I honestly I said this was not like a terribly expensive fridge. So I made a conscious decision that I was going to go for a a high, low price.
Mike00:26:15Fridge, if that makes sense.
JVL00:26:17So, you know, in the space of fridges, you can go like six hundred to eight hundred. You can do like twelve hundred fourteen hundred. Then you can go like twenty two thousand to three thousand dollars in that. And so I'm I was going to be like down towards that twelve hundred thirteen hundred range. And I'd say the the build quality on. This thing. You can tell that it is a high low range build quality. I have no idea how this thing is going to hold up like three years from now. It feels kind of disposable. It does not feel as though this is made to be sitting in my kitchen twelve years from now. I mean, it's not like you're a sub-zero, Sonny.
Sonny00:27:07Well, that's the thing. Again, like I'm I'm thankful for the people who put that in before me. Kind of. I mean, I am just annoyed by how much it costs to repair. Things like the lining on it. Like you're talking about the the, you know, the rail. If a rail on my sub-zero fridge broke, I would light myself on fire and collect the insurance money so my wife could fix the fridge. You know, it would. That's that's how we would have to get it repaired. I mean, it's I have no idea. Again, I it's a nice fridge, but fucking hell.
JVL00:27:40Well, this is what drives me crazy, though, right? I mean, a refrigerator is a more I mean, it's a heat pump, but it is. Kind of a marvel of science. There's a lot going on. It's taking it is it is extract using energy to extract heat from a system and is circulating the air in such a way within a closed space that the airflow is moving. So the temperature is consistent throughout a three dimensional space. And it does all this quietly and effortlessly over the course of a decade. And yet the thing that broke on my fucking refrigerator was like a. A plastic gear that is three and a half inches across and then the teeth that it sits in as it rolled, the drawer rolls in and out in and why are we building these things in such a way that that is what fails and what fucking economics makes that thing four hundred dollars and only sold in a set. And you can't just buy the one piece you have by the whole assembly. And it just is the new. Version of planned obsolescence. It's the new version of planned obsolescence. It feels like a conspiracy.
Sonny00:28:50Yeah. Now, I mean, I was complaining. I was I mentioned this before the other show we did today, Jimmy. I was like, I feel like the fact that we we the fact that you essentially cannot fix things for a reasonable amount of money anymore is absolutely maddening to me. It is like it's it's a it's a it's it's crazy.
JVL00:29:10It's like right before we moved right before we moved a guy who was doing some work on our house. Broke the the stove the range and what he did was he this was like a fairly high-end like GE profile level range and he pulled the the door handle for the oven in such a way that the glass separated from the top. And what happened was that glass is held on by a plastic clip. The plastic clip is about two centimeters big. I can't imagine it cost more than one. And a half cents to manufacture, but you cannot buy this plastic clip. It does not exist for purchase anywhere. And so this entire range, which is fully functional, had to be thrown away because the oven door was nonfunctional and couldn't be fixed unless you started. Well, unless you welded it on and then hoped that the heat seal was going to hold in, I just it just seems crazy to me.
Mike00:30:12Yeah, it's so interesting because. There are there are things in my house for which that that is that is not the case. My kitchen faucet, for instance, is something that I have needed to replace a part for. And I have pulled out the schematics and seen exactly which part is missing. Got to get the cartridge cartridge or whatever, or, you know, a new new gasket to fit it. And like it, it turns out that like that stuff is actually. Pretty straightforward and simple to find, to locate, to either buy of a supply store in the next town over, or I can order it online for relatively cheaply. And yet other things, as you mentioned, refrigerators definitely are one of them that you just like, all right, Chuck, the whole thing, it's time to replace it. And it's it's very frustrating. And I will say not to not to go, oh, things used to be better, but. I have two refrigerators in my house. I have the refrigerator in my kitchen, which which was in the house when we purchased it eight years ago, among the many other sort of very basic Home Depot level appliances that the previous owners bought and put in the place before we bought it. It's still working, but the old fridge, the original fridge is down in my basement, just over as I'm pointing on the other side of this wall. It's my beer fridge. Uh, it's where we put the extra gallons of milk that we buy since we have three children who guzzle it down like, uh, like, uh, freaks, uh, uh, what? Yeah, no. Yeah. Um, but, uh, and it is at least 40 years old, if not older, this, this, uh, this refrigerator and it's got some problems. It, it, it, you know, I frequently have to clean the coils because it'll start leaking, uh, uh, from the. The condensation, but it's, it's still, you know, it's still going along and like, I'm definitely going to have to replace the one upstairs, like in a couple. So that's wild.
JVL00:32:24You'll have to replace the upstairs one before the 40 year old one. Total. Yeah. Get off my lawn. Michael, how are you? Very quickly since we're 32 minutes into this. Yeah.
Mike00:32:33So, uh, like you JVL summer vacation began today and I had at my house, like, I don't even know how many, cause I, I, I had like eight or nine elementary schoolers. At my house after school. Um, I didn't see a, one of them because I went into my office and closed the door and nobody disturbed me, but, uh, they were here. Uh, my lovely wife had the, uh, bright idea to invite the friends over after school, after the last day of school, a half day of school to come play Nintendo and water balloon fights and all of that stuff. And, um, and it's just, it's interesting to. Uh, this is coming from her. I, having not interacted with any of the kids while they were here, uh, to hear about the different dynamics with like a group of rising fourth graders and a group of rising first graders. And like to see the two kind of groups of kids mesh or, or not mesh. Um, and her observation was, there's a lot more crying with the first graders. Um, it's just like people. People are just crying more. And then the fourth graders are kind of like, like, you know, this is, they're just, they're in separate worlds and like my fourth grader and first grader interact every single day. But to see groups of them, like it's, it's a funny, almost like social observation experiment. And, um, and, and they really don't, there's such a big difference between age nine.
JVL00:34:15Age six that I just, I'm, I'm constantly reminded, I think about it as the, the think about it, not as a difference in years, but a difference in life percentage.
Mike00:34:25That's right. That's right. So anyway, uh, but it was fine. The house is mostly, uh, wait, I'm sorry.
Sonny00:34:31Can you, can you clarify, are, are they crying because they're fighting within the group? Like the first graders are crying because they're fighting with the first grade or it's like the fourth graders and the first graders are interacting and the fourth graders are making the first grade.
Mike00:34:43No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So. For instance, one of the first graders, uh, who, who might happen to be related to me is crying because, um, his fellow first grader, his friend that he's brought over is not, um, is not playing with the water balloons the way that they should. Um, sure. Uh, the other is crying because he didn't want to get wet during the water balloon fight, stuff like that. You know, it's like, and. Whereas like the fourth graders, like when there's a disagreement, they're like yelling at each other, but it like all like, I mean, you know, nobody's, nobody's in tears at the end of, at the end. It's just, it's, it's a different, as you say, JBL, they they're, they're at a different point in their life, but it's, it's funny because from my perspective, I can obviously tell the difference between the ages, but the, the, the, the, the difference is. Less stark to me until you see them, you know, almost side by side.
JVL00:35:49Yeah.
Mike00:35:50So anyway, um, it's going to be a long, fun summer. One of those two things is true.
Sonny00:35:57Always is love summer.
Mike00:36:01Love my kids. Okay. So let's, uh, let's move on. Let's talk about the, uh, the box office.
JVL00:36:06Uh, we got to skip the box. It's like we're 35. We got to get to the movie.
Mike00:36:09We got to get to the movie. Well, okay. Hold on. The only box office thing I'll say, and it'll segue us nicely. Into the movie JVL number one of the box office, bad boys ride or die. And it's first week grossing something like 56, a little over $56 million at the box office. Um, here we are. That's I just, I'm stating that any quick thoughts or should we just move right on to
Sonny00:36:35Will Smith? Still a huge star. Apparently the slap did nothing.
Mike00:36:40The slap enhanced his box office pull. Um, all right. Well, we're not talking about that cause we didn't go see that because we are a part of the problem with the decline of movie there. Okay. Sonny, you saw, but you, okay. Um, and instead we rewatched bad boys to the 2003 sequel to the original bad boys, bad boys ride or die. By the way, it's like what? The fourth in this franchise, number four. Oh, it's dizzying. Um, but we decided to watch bad boys too. Sonny, you were the one who said we should watch bad boys too. Why did you say, or should you give us a review?
Sonny00:37:14I just, I just suggested we should watch either bad boys one or bad boys to the original Michael Bay, uh, bad boys movies. And then, and then I think one of you guys said bad boys too. Did one of us say bad boys? Bad boys too is fine.
JVL00:37:26I couldn't remember if we had a, if we had a, if we had a specific reason, but if I'm ever offered the chance to not watch Taya Leone, I take it.
Sonny00:37:33You don't like Taya Leone. You're not a Tia Leone.
JVL00:37:36I'm sure she's a lovely human being, but as a screen presence, I don't care for her. So this isn't a judgment. Have you heard of Jurassic? Park three? Wait, don't answer that.
Mike00:37:47Um, all right. So maybe we do a, uh, a big boy review of this 21 year old movie.
Sonny00:37:54Sonny bad boys to directed by Michael Bay starring Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. I want to take you all back. I want to take you all back in time. I want to take you all back in time to nine 11. I want to take you all back in time to nine 11, nine 11 happens. Huge tragedy. People die. Buildings destroyed. Wars begin America on the brink of on we and chaos and nobody, nobody's quite sure what to think of America and American power. And in 2002, just months after nine 11 happens, Michael Bay comes upon the final form of the script for, for bad boys too. And it went through many iterations. Ron Shelton did, I believe one of the original drafts of bad boys too. It went, it was, it was in development hell for a long time because bad boys one had been a big hit. Michael Bay in the meantime had become a huge box office presence. He had made Armageddon huge hit. He had made all sorts of big movies. The rock. He was a, he was a people, people love Michael Bay. People love Will Smith. Will Smith, of course, one of the biggest movie stars in the world at this point. So they could do pretty much anything they want. And guys, they did everything in this, this movie. I am fascinated by this movie because again, I got, I want to take you back. We're in the nine 11. 11 mindset. Things are, things are uncertain in America. War in Afghanistan is kicking off. Debate about the war in Iraq is happening. And Michael Bay decided that this was the time. This was the time that we needed. And spoilers here. If you've never seen bad boys, you should really, it's on Hulu. You should watch it before you listen to this, because I'm going to just, I'm going to just describe the last 20 minutes of this movie. Bad boys too, is a movie in which, uh, it, Michael Bay thought he got the script and he was like, this is what we need. This is what America needs, right? This is what the world needs to see from America. He got this script and the final 20 minutes of this movie involve local cops, the CIA, the DEA, some ex seals, ex special forces, ex Delta. I can't, I think they throw out Delta. I think they throw out Delta and seals at different times. Uh, they're all involved. It's an interagency operation, uh, team up. With Cuban resistance forces in, in Cuba to essentially more or less reenacted the Bay of pigs. They're going to invade Cuba so they can rescue Gabriel Gabriel union. Who's been kidnapped by some Cuban drug Lord. And they, in, in the midst of all of this chaos, in the midst of literally invading Cuba with the combined might of America's various armed forces, again, local all the way to federal, uh, in the midst of this, they get in a Hummer. They get in a Hummer, the symbol of American auto mobile might, and they smashed through a Cuban favela. They smashed downhill through a Cuban favela, just destroying houses. They're blown. The houses are blowing up everywhere and somebody just tosses off a line. This is a great addition to the script. Yeah. These houses are all owned by the drug dealer. So it's fine. It's fine. That we're just smashing through them. No, it's fine. We're smashing through. It's where they make the cocaine. It's where they make, it's where they make. They make the drugs. We should destroy as many of these houses as we can. They, they smash through the favela at like a hundred miles an hour in this Hum, Hummer, just smashing through building after building, like doing jumps off of the hillside, down the favela, smashing through houses so they can get to the, the, the promised land, the symbol of freedom, Guantanamo Bay. It's, it's the single most, it's, it's, you know, sometimes, sometimes people like to look at Tears of the Sun and say, this is the movie everybody thought America, this is, uh, this is the movie that everyone thought America was going to make about American power being used to help people in the third world and to save lives. And no, no, no, no. Michael Bay said, no, no, no, no. The, the projection of American power is the Hummer smashing through an entire town of people to get to Guantanamo Bay where we will be safe. And I got to tell you, I give this. This movie, 500 stars out of five, it's, it is perfect. It's perfect. It really is. And all right, I I'm, I'm being a little over the top here, but not that over the top. This is literally things. This is literally what happens in the movie, but the movie as a whole bad boys too is fascinating because it, it is a masterpiece of trash cinema. And when I say trash cinema, I mean, trash cinema in the John Waters sense. Like this is a movie where there's an extended shot of two rats fucking, there's an extended shot of two rats having intimate rat sex in front of the rats are doing a missionary. The rats are doing it missionary and like into it. They're real into it. And, and we see this happen. There's a sequence where a corpses are tossed out of the back of a moving van in the, in the midst of a freeway chase. And people are just, they're plowing over it in Dan Marino's test, test driven Christ slur, whatever that was. Uh, there is, there's a sequence. Thank you. There's a sequence in which, um, uh, Martin Lawrence gets next to a dead, I can only assume prostitute or stripper judging by the, she was a good girl judging by the attachments to her, uh, that we see that they pull off, they pull off the sheets and we just, we see
JVL00:43:36it all the time. Michael Bay has ever shown actual tits in a movie, right?
Sonny00:43:41No. Uh, I think there was some nudity in. Pain and gain.
JVL00:43:45Okay.
Sonny00:43:46I think there was some nudity and pain and gain, but no, he's not, he's not actually, you're right. You're right. He is actually.
JVL00:43:51He much prefers the Megan Fox bending over the car stuff to, to actual TNA.
Sonny00:43:56Right, right. He may, he, I mean, he, you know, in, in, I mean, he may, he's made a lot of PG-13 movies. I do think there's, I would have to check. I don't know. I'd have to do some more research on this. How much, how much actual nudity there is in Michael Bay movies. Um, but the, uh, but yeah, but, but, uh. Um, there, there are just, there are sequences in this movie that really feel like, or my favorite, my favorite sequence of the whole movie is when the boyfriend comes to the door. What's that?
JVL00:44:25The boy, the best buy. I thought you were going to say the scene in the best buy.
Sonny00:44:28Oh, the scene in the best buy is great. Well, these are two similar things. These are two similar things because they're both dealing in this kind of gay panic, uh, gay panic idea where the, the scene I was thinking of is the boyfriend comes to the door and the, and Will Smith is pretending to be a guy who's just out of prison. He's pointing his gun at the kid and, and Martin Lawrence is like, uh, I forgot to mention that this movie is pure uncut copaganda. Like sometimes people throw out the phrase copaganda as a negative, like, Oh, any movie with police. No, this is a movie that is like, it's actually good that the police are violating people's rights all the time. Like it's good and it's funny. It's good and it's funny. It's great. Uh, and, and, uh, you know, but the whole thing, the, the whole sequence closes with Will Smith asking, have you ever, have you ever had sex with a man? And the, the. The boy, the like 15 year old boy says no. And Will Smith says, would you like to? And it's, and it's just like, it's, you could never do that. You could not make you. People talk about, you can't make movies like they used to. You could not make this movie anymore. And I can tell you how, you know, you can blazing saddles of trash. You know how you couldn't make this movie anymore? Cause they've made two bad boys movies in the last four years and they are nothing like this. They are nothing like this movie.
JVL00:45:41Like comedic, fast and furious. 100%.
Sonny00:45:44100%. Uh, so I, I, again, this movie is, this is the, the purest expression of Michael Bay's id that exists, I think. And for that reason alone, it's a fascinating cultural document. I mean, there, there is just, there is, uh, again, I, I need everybody to understand that this is Michael Bay at the absolute height of his, uh, commercial power powers. It's Will Smith, very close to the height of his commercial powers when he could get anything greenlit. This is the movie. They made together and it's insane. It's an, it's just an insane picture. And I remember seeing this in theaters at the time it came out and being like, this is, this is, this is a lot of fun. Cause I was 21. I was like, this is a, this movie is a lot of fun, but this is a weird movie. This is a weird, uh, summer blockbuster movie. Right guys. Right. Everybody. And, and everyone's just like, no, this is awesome. This is, I've never had this much fun in the movie theater. Cause it is a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. It is a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. It's so long.
JVL00:46:48It's like two and a half hours long for some reason. It's so long.
Sonny00:46:51I, I, uh, anyway, uh, a million, 5 million stars out of five. Uh, everyone should watch bad boys too.
Mike00:46:59Michael, you're a man of the people. So I also saw this. I remember seeing this movie. I was, um, I was 15 years old.
Sonny00:47:09Yeah. You must've been 15.
Mike00:47:10I was 15. I was 15 when this movie came out. So like. It was hitting me exactly like at the right time, right? Like this is like one of the many movies I, I'm sure I saw in the summer of 2003. Um, and I remember, I remember loving bad boys too. Oh yeah. Bad boys too. I love bad boys too. Like, that's like a thing. If you would ask me in 2003, 2005, 2006. Yeah. Shake your tail feather. All that stuff.
Sonny00:47:38The musical credits on this movie there. Dr. Dre gets a musical credit and then Sean Combs gets a musical credit. Oh, he's a producer. He's a producer. He's the music producer, which I mean, Michael Bay was a peacemaker. He was bringing East and West together in, in cinematic form.
JVL00:47:55Michael Bay has this self-conception in which he believes that he really understands and gets black people and that black people really understand and get him. And never has it been more clear than in this movie.
Sonny00:48:14I mean, I, I don't, I don't see how you could watch this movie and doubt that they, he under, he has the finger. You could say, Oh, the Hughes brothers are, Oh, you know what? No.
JVL00:48:26Jordan Peele. Ava DuVernay. No way. I'm sorry. I interrupted you, Michael. Go ahead. So you saw this at 50. How did you get in? It's a, it's an R-rated movie. How did you get it to see this? Were you using a fake ID?
Mike00:48:37No, you can see R-rated movies at age 15.
Sonny00:48:39No, you can't. Did you go with your parents?
JVL00:48:43In 2003, I think. No, you cannot get into an R-rated movie under 17 without a grownup.
Sonny00:48:47You're not supposed to. You're not. I was never guarded myself.
JVL00:48:49I don't think that's true.
Mike00:48:51That was true at the time.
Sonny00:48:53It was definitely true at the time. You are not supposed to be in an R-rated movie. Always been true.
JVL00:48:57Did you look like you were 25 when you were 15?
Mike00:49:00Yes, I did.
JVL00:49:00That is, that is probably.
Sonny00:49:02Did you have a five o'clock shadow?
Mike00:49:04Probably.
Sonny00:49:05I'm here with my sons.
Mike00:49:07Just your friends.
Sonny00:49:08Exactly.
Mike00:49:10No, but I, like, I remember, like, if you would ask me again, like, years afterward, do you see Bad Boys 2? Yeah, I love Bad Boys 2. And as I was re-watching it, like, it was, it was, it was definitely one of those moments where I was like, what the hell was I thinking in loving this movie? I, okay, so.
Sonny00:49:35What the hell were you thinking? Loving awesome stuff?
Mike00:49:38So, it's, I think it's more that it doesn't, there's so much of it that stuck out to me that does not hold up. And the number one thing that does not hold up in this movie is Martin Lawrence. Martin Lawrence, like, is. I'm gonna come through the camera at you. I know, you guys look like you're gonna kill me.
JVL00:49:55I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey.
Mike00:49:58I found him so annoying in this re-watch. Wow, this is your worst take. I'm sorry, this is not Man of the People.
Sonny00:50:06People have failed us again.
Mike00:50:08Because people love us. I love these guys. But, like, he was, like, I don't know. The schtick was so, it was too much. It was just too much. And look, one thing that's interesting, by the way. Look at both the posters for Bad Boys and Bad Boys 2. Martin Lawrence gets top billing.
JVL00:50:27Yes, because he was the biggest star in the world from, like, 1998 to 2008.
Sonny00:50:33Well, no, it was very specifically because when the first movie came out in 1995, he was a bigger star than Will Smith. Totally. Martin Lawrence was a bigger star than Will Smith when that movie came out. Absolutely.
JVL00:50:43He's in Life, he's in Blue Streak, Big Mama's House, What's the Worst That Can Happen, National Security. Yep. I mean, he is a huge, huge star. Yes. Big Mama's House 2, and then he disappears. Yep.
Mike00:50:58Yeah.
JVL00:50:58And I think it's because he had a breakdown, right?
Mike00:51:00I'm sure. I'm sure that, I mean, and he was, well, I don't know. But the point is, I found his schtick to be, it graded on me in this watch. And I think, and Will Smith is so much better, and that just stuck out to me. And maybe it's just like knowing kind of what happens over the next couple of years and several movies. Like, I just was like, I'm done with Marcus. I just want to see Mike. So you loved Gemini, man? I did not love Gemini. Had he done Ollie at that point? I think he had.
Sonny00:51:43Ollie was.
Mike00:51:45No, he's not big yet the way he got. Was that 2005?
Sonny00:51:48I think Ollie was 2004.
Mike00:51:50Four. Okay. So, yeah. So, like, we're on the cusp of that. I found so many of the.
Sonny00:51:56No, Ollie had already had. Ollie was 2001.
Mike00:51:59Is that one? Okay. So, also, like, the things that I remember, I remember very few things from the movie from my, from when I watched in 2015. I remember a couple of things. I remember the clan at the beginning and thinking, like. Michael Shannon.
Sonny00:52:15Yeah, Michael Shannon.
Mike00:52:16Who, of course, I didn't, like, know at the time.
Sonny00:52:17Well, nobody knew. Nobody knew who Michael Shannon was.
Mike00:52:20But, like, but, like, that scene, I remember, like, thinking it was hilarious at the time. I remember.
JVL00:52:26I couldn't tell, honestly, if that was Michael Shannon or Matthew Lillard.
Mike00:52:31Doppelgangers.
Sonny00:52:31Similar. Right?
Mike00:52:33I remember.
Sonny00:52:34Michael Shannon's bigger, I think. Matthew Lillard's, like, skinnier. Yeah. Yeah.
Mike00:52:37Yeah. Yes. Michael Shannon has, like, a broader face and build. I remember. What was the shit just got real? Like, and that's kind of it. So, like, on rewatch, like, I watched that opening scene. And my first thought, again, I'm like a total killjoy on this movie, was like, what is the Klan doing in Miami? That makes absolutely no sense.
Sonny00:53:04Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize we lived in Michael Warren's post-racial America where everything there's no racism anymore.
Mike00:53:10All you have to do is go, like, an hour and a half. And and the Klan, I'm sure, was there.
Sonny00:53:16Will Smith and Martin Lawrence don't work an hour and a half inland. They work in Miami where there is racism.
Mike00:53:22I didn't say there was a racism. I said the Klan. It seemed a little ridiculous. And like, they're like in cahoots with the drug, whatever.
Sonny00:53:29Oh, you have a problem with the Klan, but not the Cuban drug dealer?
Mike00:53:33No, no, I'm I'm I think it's it's, you know, open borders. So I found so much of what you described, Sonny. As being kind of like wild and crazy. I've I found it like tasteless, like my my reaction to it. Like the maybe I know that's what it's supposed to John Waters.
Sonny00:53:53I mean, it's yes, it is. But like the cadavers falling out nine figure John Waters movie.
Mike00:53:58It's so weird to me. I was like watching it like the scene where they get the cadavers are falling out of the van and they're like running over them. I was like horrified as I was. I was like, what is this? Why people are like because there's the first one that comes out, they like run over it. And you hear like the crunch of the body parts and it's like played for laughs. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? And I don't remember any of that. Like, I just remember I just remember laughing at it and having a great time when I was 15. And now I'm like, I think this is like, again, tasteless. And I didn't like it. I don't know. I just I thought the whole thing was so much less than what I remembered it being. And. And not a fan. Thought it was really stupid.
JVL00:54:48I have to go ahead and disagree with you there, Mikey.
Mike00:54:52Lay it on me. Lay it on me.
JVL00:54:54I mean, so it's too much. I think I'm you know, it's like, you know, like when when you have a really, really great cake, but there's like two inches of icing on top and you only need like a half inch of icing. It's too much. I'm happy. So long. But it's and also it is like in its own weird way derivative of Lethal Weapon. I mean, they are Riggs and Murtaugh, but it's I mean, it's it's awesome and it's funny as shit throughout and it is funny as shit primarily because of Martin Lawrence, but also because of all of the great actors that they are surrounded with. So between Peter Stormare and Joey Pants, Gabriel Union, who never became the giant movie star she probably should have been. And I just think she's a great screen presence. And and even fucking John Sally. John Sally is in this. He plays like a little computer hacker with nerdy glasses. And I mean, he was so good that I'm sitting there. I'm like, I know him. Where do I know that guy's face from? Yeah, but it never I just thought character actor because he's so funny. And it's I don't know, man. I honestly don't know how to react to Martin Lawrence isn't funny because this is this is pre breakdown in which I think Martin Lawrence was about as funny as like anybody's ever been.
Sonny00:56:39Was Martin Lawrence in the Beach Bum? Do you remember that? He was in the Beach. He was he was fantastic.
JVL00:56:44He was the guy who was like a five minute cameo. Yeah, right. And he's like, he's crazy. And he's like they have the he's the guy with the boat who thinks he's a captain dressed like Napoleon or something. Yeah. I mean, Martin Lawrence, I think at his height was working in Bill Murray, Eddie Murphy, Will Ferrell territory of funny.
Mike00:57:07Like, I mean, I just it doesn't do it for me. I don't I can't. Explain it.
JVL00:57:13I just I. It's exasperation. I found it exhausting.
Mike00:57:19I found the whole all of the like they're going to they're going to break up this this partnership, this this this police partnership, like all of the bickering and stuff was just so it was so annoying to me. And I for some reason, I put that on all of Martin Lawrence and not on Will Smith. I don't know. But sorry. Go ahead.
JVL00:57:39The gay the gay panic. So the gay panic scene in the. In the Best Buy. So what has happened is Martin Lawrence has gotten shot in the ass by by Will Smith and they are in a Best Buy to watch a videotape because they've got this videotape that they've got. Anyway, and they are going to sit together in like one of the conference rooms. But, you know, they've got displays. Anyway, their conversation is broadcast on video to every TV in the place, and it is all played as if this is like a lover's tiff. And what's funny about it is it isn't actually the gay panic, which is funny about it. What's funny is the reactions of all the people watching them, because we have a gay couple who are watching them who are angry about it because they think Will Smith is being insensitive. And then we have this this very devout Christian African-American lady who is like, why are you putting these homos on TVs? That's wrong. The whole thing. I mean, it's just it's fine. And then you have the kid whose dad owns the store who's just freaking out because he thinks his dad is going to come in and and like tear him a new asshole.
Sonny00:58:53I mean, it's it's so funny. I just don't.
JVL00:58:58It was so funny. The rats fucking scene. I mean, we have Martin Lawrence's reaction to seeing the rats fucking after because they've just sold this cock and bull story about how you have to. So what has happened for people to remember, they are infiltrating a drug dealer's hacienda in order to as under the cover is being exterminators because they're going to plant cameras and they are selling a story about how they have to do this thing right now because the rats are going to have so much sex. The rats have sex like five times a day. You're going to have even more rats. And so they're selling this story to the dumb drug dealer guard who finds like, whatever, do your thing.
Sonny00:59:43And then they actually see the rats like a fucking. The rats making sweet, sweet missionary style love. Why can't it begin?
Mike00:59:53Nothing sweet about it.
Sonny00:59:54Like characters from the Muppets. Like Ratso Rizzo is giving it to Lady Ratso Rizzo. Rizzo the rat. Rizzo the rat.
Mike01:00:03Oh, I'm sorry. Just in respect.
Sonny01:00:05I'm sorry.
JVL01:00:05But this is what I'm saying. So the first level of the joke is that this story they were telling comes true. The second layer, though, is Martin Lawrence, who's disgusted, but then fascinated by it. I mean, I think of Martin Lawrence's character as basically Vic in a way. And, you know, he's like, they're doing it like we do. They do it like people. It's I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But it's so funny.
Sonny01:00:37Again, I like I can I understand not being on the wavelength of this movie. I do. Because, again. Again, it is it is there there. I keep saying this, but it is like a John Waters movie. It is tasteless and it is over the top and it is intentionally so it is like it is rubbing your face in it. Yes. You know, in a way that I can understand people, people not enjoying. But the fact that this movie was released on, you know, probably twenty eight hundred screens or something in 2003 is a minor miracle. I just I guess I find it. I find the whole thing. I find the whole thing from the production to the writing to the release date. It's all fascinating.
JVL01:01:20A script with this many people on it shouldn't be this funny. And last thing I'll say is that Michael Bay does not know how to direct comedy, really. And you can see that if this had been in the hands of a competent comedy director, it would have been like three times funnier even. But a competent comedy director wouldn't be able to do the action stuff that Michael Bay is able to do, you know, blowing up cars. On freeways and stuff. And it it is pretty. I mean, Michael Bay doesn't really know what he's doing, but it is pretty funny.
Sonny01:01:50You say Michael Bay doesn't know comedy, but I mean, The Rock is incredibly funny. The Armageddon is incredibly funny. This movie is incredibly funny. I like Armageddon is very funny. The sequences with Steve Buscemi.
JVL01:02:05Yeah, I don't. I haven't seen Armageddon in a very long time.
Sonny01:02:09We should watch Armageddon next.
JVL01:02:11Please God no. Pearl Harbor. Is unintentional.
Sonny01:02:14Well, Pearl Harbor. Pearl Harbor is very serious. Pearl Harbor is his actual like post 9-11 movie, and it's not anywhere near as good as this. It's not.
JVL01:02:20Yeah, it's I mean, it's just I just think it's like I said, it's too much. It's not like a great movie. It's not even a good movie, but it is an awesome movie.
Sonny01:02:32Strike that Pearl Harbor came out in 2001. It's actually his pre 9-11 movie. It was his he his vision.
JVL01:02:38Well, that was his like return to Syria. That was his I'm going to be a serious director.
Sonny01:02:42Yes. And it did not do well, which is why he had to make Bad Boys 2.
JVL01:02:46You know, you know what? I'm going to say this. Pearl Harbor was hindered by having one of the greatest trailers of any movie ever made.
Sonny01:02:54Yeah.
JVL01:02:55And the movie couldn't possibly live up to the trailer.
Sonny01:02:58Also, the movie wasn't good.
JVL01:03:00Well, the movie also wasn't good. But if it had like a mid trailer, it would have been fine. I think.
Sonny01:03:07There's an interesting there's an interesting story. And in the big. Big history of Disney that I read for that that chronicles the Eisner years about how this was this. I mean, it was a Disney movie. It was like it was a Touchstone release. And they were all like, wait, the audiences all hate this. What are we going to do with it? They're like, I got put it out. Cost cost one hundred thirty million dollars. You can't not release it. Better just hope for the best. They did not get the best.
Mike01:03:36All right. Well, I don't know. You guys, I will say this. You guys are almost certainly correct in your assessment of this movie. I'm just relating how I felt watching. I could not wait for it to be over. I was so done.
JVL01:03:57All right. Do this with me. Do this with me. Let's just wait a few years when your oldest son is 15. You watch it together and then you come back to me and tell me what you think about it. Because I think watching it with me, this is going to kill with your kid when he's 15. If I let Flash. Watch this thing. I mean, his head would have exploded because it's just, you know, the rat scene. I can't even imagine Flash at the rat scene. And you will watch it with your son when he is a 15 year old and he will have the time of his life. And you will, too, because he's having the time of his life. We shall see. Check back in in six years.
Mike01:04:36All right. Any other thoughts on bad boys, too? And we'll know. We'll get we'll get out of here. Thank you so much. For listening, check out Sub-Beacon dot com and we will talk to you next time.
Sonny01:04:54You know, one of the reasons it's so funny is supposedly I was just reading the Wikipedia about this last night, but apparently Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen punched up, did a did a pass on the script.
JVL01:05:05That would explain so much.
Sonny01:05:07It makes it makes a lot of sense after rewatching it. Right.
JVL01:05:12Yeah. That makes a great deal of sense.
Sonny01:05:15The scene, the scene where Martin Lawrence is high on X and Joey Pants is home. Joey Pants, who has all of this ridiculous art in his house that is never commented upon. It's just there. I like.
Mike01:05:26By the way, by the way, the question is, I don't know the last time I saw Bad Boys. So how was it that these these narc cops have these gorgeous houses in Miami?
JVL01:05:38Like, how are they able to before Miami really took off in real estate terms?
Sonny01:05:42Like, well, Will Smith, Will Smith comes from money.
Mike01:05:46So they say something about boys, too.
Sonny01:05:48So Will Smith, Will Smith comes from money. I forget exactly what the backstory is there, but he has like a trust fund and he is almost doing the police job because he like wants some excitement. And it's like it's like he was he's like, I saw Miami Vice. I wanted to be a cop. Right, right.
JVL01:06:03OK, that's right.
Sonny01:06:04That sort of thing. I am Martin Lawrence.
JVL01:06:07And Martin Lawrence is Murtaugh. He's too old for this shit.
Sonny01:06:10Martin Lawrence just has a three million dollar. Home on the Miami waterfront. Because he's he's clearly taking money on the side. He's clearly, you know, just absolutely all sorts of bribes.
JVL01:06:20And yet look at the bank offices where they're there. The his police division is. I mean, it is like they're in a former bank or something. Yes.
Sonny01:06:29No, they're like the Rococo designs of the walls. And I like it's amazing. The whole thing is I don't know that that's actually the style, but I just like Rococo Rococo.
Mike01:06:38Well, I will say that like Miami is such a great. It is a great backdrop. And and like there's just so many. It's it's it's always fun to watch a movie set in film to my.
Sonny01:06:50There are multiple shots in this movie where it's just like a helicopter or an airplane flying over the Miami sign. Just like it. Yes. Various times of night or day, like various hues in the sky. It's like Michael Bay was like, I want to get six different shots of this sign in different lighting sources. And we're going to use. All of them. We're just going to we're going to remind people that this is Miami.
JVL01:07:16This is Miami paid by like the Miami Film Commission.
Sonny01:07:19And speaking of getting paid by advertisers, the other the other thing that is so garish about this film is just the constant. Like there's the whole sequence where they're chasing the Miller genuine draft truck. Yes. And there's there's another one. There's like a Pepsi truck. Yes, there's a Pepsi. Yes. Like I think I think a character was carrying around a bag of Doritos for like 30 minutes for no reason.
Mike01:07:40It is like the Wayne's World gag. You know, it is.
Sonny01:07:42I mean, it's just it's just every secret again. And this is like it's so garish and it's so dumb. And like all of these companies are being advertised next in the movie with like here's here's the corpse with the stripper tits. Here's the two rats banging. Like it's I just I can't imagine. I can't imagine the corporate discussions that ensued when the board saw this movie and was like, what on earth? Why is our stuff all over this film? I just I love I love everything about it. I there's it is such a monument to in. Like I said, Michael Bay's it it's Michael Bay's it on the screen. And there's something to be said for that because the man's a demented genius.
Mike01:08:27Sure, it's fine.
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