#232. 'Reacher' Season 2 Episode 5
Listen to this episode ↗on Substack, where the show lives now
This short bonus episode has Mike, Sonny, and JVL running through Reacher Season 2, Episode 5, "The Burial," which finally reveals the macguffin (missile guidance chips hidden in trailers) and centers on a cemetery shootout during their friend's funeral. All three pile on the same complaint: Reacher is a ten-foot, five-hundred-seventy-three-pound titan who once chucked a Weber grill seven thousand feet, yet the show has him cowering behind tiny gravestones instead of hurling obelisks like javelins or swinging tombstones like a baseball bat, which Sonny and JVL call flatly lazy writing. JVL flags the season's steep episode-to-episode quality decline and the endless "is the cop crooked" exposition loop, while the group mocks a captured assassin who "seems like he works at a Jiffy Lube" and dubs the show's endless disposable henchmen "putties," Mike's Power Rangers reference that Sonny had mistaken for a Seinfeld bit. Mike repeatedly needles the show as pure network-TV comfort food — the kind of thing that could air on CBS if they just dubbed out the occasional F-bomb — and Sonny argues the whole season should be thirty percent shorter, contrasting it with Gen V's more organically-paced episode lengths. There's no extended opening banter this time; the trio launches straight into the recap, and it closes with Sonny teasing, having already watched ahead, that next week's episode is a real improvement.
From the show notes
That suit doesn't fit! It's too tight!
Full transcript
Mike00:00:00Welcome to the bonus episode of the Sub-Beacon. We're talking about episode five of season two of Reacher, the burial episode. They go to bury their friend and there's a shootout. There's all other kinds of fun stuff. There's a truck trailer that gets switched. What happens is... What is there to say about this episode of Reacher?
Sonny00:00:33Well, we finally figured out what the deal is precisely. There's the chips that they're putting in the missiles. And that's what was in the trailers. That's what was in it. And there's a shootout at a cemetery, as you mentioned. And I got to say, missed opportunity in the shootout. Big missed opportunity in the shootout. So you've got a situation. I just want to set the stage for everyone. They go to this funeral. They're buried. They're burying their friend. They're doing the salute. And Jack Reacher looks out into the distance and he sees sniper rifle. And he's like, ah, everybody down. We're going to everybody get covered.
JVL00:01:09Sunlight glinting off of the rifle scope, even though it's raining, even though it's raining.
Sonny00:01:13And it's fine. That's what there is.
JVL00:01:15It's got a sun shower.
Sonny00:01:16No, the skies are gray. Oh, you're you're talking physics, science. Not talking laziness. None of this means anything to me, the viewer of Reacher. So so so shooting the shootout starts and they're in they're in this cemetery and everybody's taken cover behind gravestones. Now, let me again set the stage for you. You have a man who is 10 feet tall and five hundred seventy three pounds of muscle. And he is as big as a house. And he's crouching down behind these tiny little cemetery stones, these gravestones. And I'm just thinking to myself, there are there are. Obelisks everywhere in this. There are obelisks all around this cemetery. Why is Jack Reacher not picking them up and throwing them like javelins at these guys? Why is he not desecrating the cemetery to kill his enemies? Because that is what he should be doing. There's they're they're high. They're running. He's like, cover me. I'm going to I'm going to or he's like, I'm going to run out there. You take him out. You got to get a good shot. And she's like, you're so slow. But as JBL mentioned, we saw him run. Seventeen blocks to catch a car. That's right. Chuck a chuck a Weber grill, Weber grill at it. But I mean, again, I'm just saying, like, if you are the smartest man in the world and you're as big as a titan from Greek myth and you are not using the things around you to do your job, it's just lazy writing. I don't care about the sun glinting off of, you know, maybe there was a break in the clouds, whatever. There was a passing airplane. That reflected the light off of the scope. I can think of many reasons why the sun would glint off of that scope. I can think of zero reasons that Jack Reacher has not used this opportunity to throw giant objects. Again, he threw a Weber grill seven thousand feet. I had the same thought, Sonny. You're going to tell me he can't he can't pick up pick up one of these these tombstones. Tombstones like a baseball bat and charge and like actually hit the bullets as he's going like. And I'm just like, I this is this is what I watch the show. And I that's where my suspension of disbelief fails, because you have you have a man. You have a man here. He is as big as the World Trade Center. And he is he's just sitting there trying to hide from bullets. And I don't believe it. I don't believe it for a second.
Mike00:03:58Rant to slash rant. No, I had the same thought. I thought I thought he was going to start picking up the headstones, you know, like pulling them out of the ground and like whacking the guys over the head with it. No. Yeah. Missed opportunity. I don't know. It was there. All these shows are the same. All these episodes are the same.
JVL00:04:18It's just the same fucking thing.
Mike00:04:20No, no, no, no.
JVL00:04:23It's getting it is weird to me because I presume. That they made this all at the same time. I presume they shot it all like, you know, they had a shooting schedule. They probably didn't shoot it in order because nobody shoots anything in order, but I presume that they shot all of the scenes needed for this season at once. And then, like, you know, cut it all together in the editing room. So there shouldn't in theory, the quality should be either consistent or random. And yet I think that we are. Seeing a very, we're just plotting it, you know, a steep declining quality from episode to episode. And this episode has almost nothing but exposition, except the exposition is them. Talking about the things that they're doing or seeing instead of just doing or see it. It is the weirdest thing to just talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, lot of talk. And the number of times we've now gone back and forth with the police detective about being crooked. If this cop doesn't turn out to be crooked in the end, it will be the most insane writing choice I've ever seen. Right. Because you, you cannot, you cannot like do a Chekhov's gun. Like is the gun there? No, the gun's not. There was no go. There's a guy. And then it turns out. Yeah. There was no gun. But you, you, you have to, if you bring up the possibility that this cop is crooked over and over and over again, and then he's not crooked, then what the fuck were you doing? Like it's this weird set of choices and.
Mike00:06:05No, but see, we're going to, we're not going to find out. It's, it's his boss. It's Russo's boss. That's, that's crooked. Right? Like, that's what we're going to find out. But the one we saw two episodes ago where he is like yelling at Russo and, and Russo. Maybe.
JVL00:06:20I don't know, man. And the, I, I had to laugh at the, so the two assassins in the graveyard, when they finally catch the one, so they kill one of them and they catch the other. Right. And this guy and Reacher talk like I did. I'm like, yes, they brought in two heavy hitters. This guy seems like he works at a Jiffy Lube.
Sonny00:06:47They're both.
JVL00:06:48He's like, he's like, I just want to. Get out of here, man. Like, I'm sorry. You got me. I just want to go home. You got me. This job blows. This guy does not seem like a high level mercenary. I mean, forget the fact that, like, he gets captured. The his reaction to everything is like, yeah, I mean, I don't know, man.
Sonny00:07:15Typical millennial, man. No work ethic. So weird. No, no work ethic.
Mike00:07:20But he's just there for a paycheck.
Sonny00:07:23He's just he was going to take some pot shots. If he hits great. If not, we're out of here.
JVL00:07:29To the extent that everything is telegraphed. I mean, I assume all three of you, the minute they show up and send him, like, walking towards
Sonny00:07:37the building, you're like, oh, 100% chance that building is blowing up.
JVL00:07:43But this is the other thing that I'm not doing any of this to, like, compare to the book. The extent. To which characters that you have no idea who they are and have never seen before, who simply appear from the mist to get dispatched by Reacher's people. It it robs it of any interest because, right? I mean, there are two things that are interesting. It is interesting seeing the giant man do feats of strength, but we're not getting much of that anymore.
Sonny00:08:16Not nearly enough of that.
JVL00:08:17Not nearly. I mean, hardly any of it. Right. I mean, we made fun of the Weber. Grill, but like the Weber. But the other thing is. They are.
Sonny00:08:24It is like I did not make fun of the Weber grill.
JVL00:08:27It's just these are just jobbers who show up and and so there's no stakes.
Sonny00:08:32The Brooklyn Brawler.
JVL00:08:33It is, but it's not even like it's like Brooklyn Brawlers that you've never seen before. And they just like, here's another wave of them.
Mike00:08:39And it's like it's like putties on the old. Yeah. Yes. Yes.
JVL00:08:45Yes. Michael, that's what it is. They're just putties and they're unconnected. To the story. Sorry, that's the putty sound. Totally unconnected to the story.
Sonny00:08:55Wait, wait, wait.
JVL00:08:56Hold on. The bikers. Why are the bikers here? The bikers are here.
Sonny00:09:00Hold on a second. When you said putty, I thought I was thinking Seinfeld. No, no.
Mike00:09:04He means Power Rangers. Power Rangers.
Sonny00:09:07That's what they were called.
Mike00:09:08The little bad guys that would just like appear.
Sonny00:09:11Like the Foot Clan. Yeah, they were like the Foot Clan. I always thought of them as like Power Rangers Foot Clan.
Mike00:09:16Yeah, they were called the putties. They were called the putties.
Sonny00:09:17I was never a Power Ranger.
JVL00:09:20But at least the putties and the Foot Clan were part of like some organization, right? Their face. It's like having the Cobra Soldiers or the Stormtroopers. These are just random like, here are five more dudes off the street who want to kill you for something. We had that in Atlantic City, right? Who are these people who want to kill? Just guys. Don't worry. They're dead now.
Sonny00:09:39I'll say, I will say, I have watched the second episode, the next episode. I watched ahead because I was so gripped by the show. So good. I was so gripped. Some of this is explained. So you, you, you have all these questions, you have all these questions and you think it's bad plotting, but in fact, it's a mystery.
Mike00:09:58They knew what they were doing. They knew what they were doing.
Sonny00:10:01It's like a Nolan film. Yes. This is the Christopher Nolan of Jack Reacher seasons.
JVL00:10:06It doesn't work retroactively finding out that people in a fight were characters you might've cared about after the fight doesn't actually make the fight more, more emotionally invested. Well, this is the, you got to tell us beforehand.
Mike00:10:23I don't know about you guys. I love this. No, I'm just kidding. Uh, no, it's, it's your, you guys are all right. It's, it's just, it is a reminder every week. I'm like, Oh, this is what network TV is. This is network TV.
JVL00:10:38The actors are so bad. Here's the one actor in this. Who's not is the, the guy who's with them in the special investigators. So the guy who's got the family at home. Yeah. Who's who?
Mike00:10:51They're like, never thought you, I, you'd ever have a family.
JVL00:10:54It's like, so he is also a TV actor. He's clearly not a movie actor, but he's like a good TV actor. He's a TV actor who has some personality and a little bit of screen charisma and is fun to watch everybody else. Just like you are somebody who would be on one of the CSIs as a guest star. Yep. Right. You go to your type of actor.
Sonny00:11:19You should be, you're a tech, you're a tech, uh, on NCIS it's really, I just, it's very bad and it's getting worse.
Mike00:11:30I will say I do not the, the, the act, I don't know the character of Neely who is, was in the first season. Right? Like, like she gets worse every, every, I'm shocked. Cause I, I, she was one of my favorite parts. She's like a cool kid hipster.
JVL00:11:47Yeah. You see all the stickers on. Her laptop is really supposed to be this like tightly wound, like cipher.
Mike00:11:55And under the first season had that blonde cop who was never saw it.
JVL00:11:59So the blonde cop in the first season was like, and she's an interesting actress and she did some cool stuff.
Mike00:12:05I mean, it was, it was not great TV, but it was much more interesting than this. Here, here is, here's where I got annoyed. We're now two episodes in a row where like Reacher is like. I can't stomach the idea that one of the guys in his unit is crooked. Like, like he can't get, get over this. I don't get it. Like, it's just like, even if it turns out that the guy wasn't crooked, it's like, like why this is, they're trying to create some tension out of this. That like, I just don't buy it. It's like, I want to be like Reacher. He's, he could be crooked. Get over it.
Sonny00:12:42The whole season needs to be 30% shorter. I get it. Like, I keep saying this every week and I, I'm, I feel like a broken record here, but like. If, if, if, if this, if this was, if this was six 40 minute episodes instead of eight 50 minute episodes, it's a, it's a much, it's a much better show. I think.
JVL00:13:04No. Yeah. There's also really no rhyme or reason for the chapter breaks. I mean, except, except time. So they run out of time.
Mike00:13:13Yeah.
JVL00:13:13I mean, the chapter breaks are really just like, yeah, we got to stretch each. We're going to stretch. Listen, they started from the position of this is how many episodes we need. And this is how long each one needs to be again. And they just wrote it all.
Mike00:13:28It's network to me.
Sonny00:13:28And it's, it's a real, it's a real contrast between I, so I've been watching a gen V, which is the, the spinoff of the boys, um, which I enjoyed quite a bit. But those episodes, again, it's, it, it is also an eight episode season, but the, the episodes are like sometimes 38 minutes, sometimes 52 minutes. It's just like, however much. Story they have to tell in this. It's like a, it's like an actual chapter in a book. It's like, as long as it needs to be, it's not, but within some, you know, but here again, it's just like, everything is like, like eight minutes, 48 to 50 minutes.
JVL00:14:03Yeah.
Sonny00:14:04That's it. That's what you, that's what you're getting.
JVL00:14:07So is this what they're going to do with Reacher? Cause it's, I mean, it's, they're filming the third season already.
Sonny00:14:12It's a huge hit.
JVL00:14:13But are they going to do it like this? Is it, is the answer is they're going to lean towards this and not season one. And it's not going to be sort of quirky mystery with like brutal combat. And well, I mean, it's like in the first one, he like put his thumb into a guy's eye and like, and there's none, none, nothing like that this time around.
Sonny00:14:31No, they need more. They need, they do need to get back to basics with Reacher and turn him into violent killing machine, unstoppable Terminator man.
JVL00:14:42I think that they have decided that that was too much and that they need to be more like CBS.
Sonny00:14:48More, I will say there's much more, uh, uh, a term I, I like a great deal that some people may find offensive and sexist, but there's, there's a great deal of bra sex in this movie. You know what, you know what I mean? Like not actually like sex that is not done in a way that people typically actually have. It's like sex with lots of clothes on it. Cause it feels like a CBS show.
Mike00:15:11Yep. But except they drop like F bombs every once in a while.
Sonny00:15:15Yeah. So, all right.
Mike00:15:18Well, Great show. Can't, can't wait to do next week's, uh, bonus episode.
Sonny00:15:23Next week's episode is better. I'm telling you, I've watched it. It's better.
Mike00:15:27It's I'm sure it's fun.
Spot something wrong in this episode? Suggest a correction →
Comments
Loading…