The Sub-Substack

← all The Sub-Beacon episodes

#229. 'The Beekeeper'

2024-01-19 · 58:43

Listen to this episode ↗on Substack, where the show lives now

JVL is off in San Francisco this week, so it's a two-man "dudes chatting" show, and Mike and Sonny both come away loving The Beekeeper, Jason Statham's Gen-X-avenger action vehicle: Sonny calls it "the platonic ideal" of the beat-up-people-who-deserve-it genre (more Stallone/Van Damme/Bronson than John Wick), praising its earnestly ridiculous bee-metaphor plot — Statham's retired "beekeeper" tears through a phishing ring that scammed his landlord into suicide, working his way up to Josh Hutcherson's Gen Z fraudster and his U.S.-president mother — and singling out Jeremy Irons for delivering absurd exposition in his most authoritative voice; Mike agrees, arguing Statham's near-silent stoicism grounds the silliness just short of stupidity, though both flag the FBI-agent-daughter subplot as underwritten and its abandoned threads (her drinking, her partner's kids) as sloppy. Before getting to the movie the two spend a long stretch on Sonny's theory that podcasts need three people to avoid either agreement-bog or argument, riffing on Siskel and Ebert's famously antagonistic partnership; Sonny then gives a lengthy, half-comic update on his elderly dog blowing her ACL and refusing to rest afterward, while Mike recounts nearly dying on icy New Hampshire roads while covering the primary and getting snowed in overnight at the historic, faintly Overlook-Hotel-esque Mount Washington Hotel at Bretton Woods. Box office talk covers Mean Girls' musical-marketing backlash at number one, The Beekeeper at number two, The Color Purple's steep second-weekend drop, and a digression on studios' confused streaming-vs-theatrical strategy (Paramount Plus movies getting theatrical bumps, Netflix undervaluing Knives Out). They close by imagining a Beekeeper sequel and marveling over the costume design at the villain's absurd fundraiser/birthday-party finale.

From the show notes

Jason Statham vs Gen Z, the movie!

Full transcript
Guest00:00:00You're telling me one man did this the only thing you know is he's a beekeeper
Mike00:00:09A beekeeper a beekeeper. Well, that's not good
Guest00:00:14Beekeepers is a special program outside the chain of command. I protect the hive when the system is out of balance. I
Sonny00:00:22Correct it. We have laws for these things until they fail. Then you have me
Mike00:00:30Welcome to the sub beacon podcast. I am your co-host Mike Warren and joining me is my fellow co-host Sonny Bunch Jonathan V last is off this week. I've always wanted to say that like they always makes it sound more like important but also mysterious You know that they always hear that from like the the the replacement anchors and stuff
Sonny00:00:57So yeah, I'm feeling but we Don't have a replacement. It's just it's just the two of us. That's right. That's right
Mike00:01:03But I like the I like the gravitas it gives me Go to sub beacon calm JVL's Go ahead. Go ahead. Sonny. Tell us what JVL's up to. Oh
Sonny00:01:14I was just gonna say JVL's in San Francisco enjoying the the you know, the bay the bay area City by the bay. I don't I guess sourdough bread. Is that what is that what people sourdough?
Mike00:01:26Rice-a-roni, it's the same Francisco rice-a-roni
Sonny00:01:30And do they have rice-a-roni restaurants? Do you go to restaurants and just order like I want the teriyaki
Mike00:01:35Rice-a-roni. Have you ever been to San Francisco Sonny? No, I've never been oh, okay. Well, no the answer is no they don't have rice-a-roni restaurants Is it like is it even is it that's just a marketing gimmick, right? I like was rice-a-roni invented in San Francisco. Who knows? What I know, I don't know Anyway, as I was saying go to some beacon calm Check us out become a patron comment get episodes every Friday morning bonus episodes We're doing a Jack Reacher season to reach or I guess it's the name of the show season to Every episode of season two on those bonus episodes on Monday. Check us out sub beacon calm We're gonna be talking about the beekeeper Later in this episode sunny on IR. But first Can we do one-on-one dudes chatting? Here sunny what is going on with you? I know this is well
Sonny00:02:32This is actually why I always like having three people for this this show is because I don't know I don't know if you have a theory on conversation, but I have a theory on conversation and my theory conversation is that You get you got to have three people to have an actual conversation if you have two people It's not you're not unless you're having like a very serious important personal discussion, right? Not really. It's like you need that third person to bounce off to like interject to you know, keep things Flowing otherwise things tended they tend to bog down they tend to get you know, they run in circles I'm not I'm not a huge fan of the two-man Talking you need a third. This is why you know Howard Stern always had Robin right but then also like Bob Baba Bowie and you know And everybody else who was involved in that show, you know Artie and the rest of the gang Or you can just I can't I haven't
Mike00:03:28Yeah But like but even just the interview right like having the interview and having the sidekick and this has been done in in You know in like late night talk shows as well right like having the sidekick sort of there as well to kind of bring in as You need not that any of us on this as a sidekick if anybody would be it would be me I suppose but like you having like the guest the The hosts and then the sidekick does give it a little bit of it's like it's like a triangle You know it's stronger So we're doing a great advertisement for this episode by the way that it's just a triangle the triangle offense the triangle
Sonny00:04:07Conversational offense is the best way to think about you get the ball all over the court and eventually it gets to the hoop That's my understanding of how the triangle works sure you should eventually feed it To somebody who's open and that's right in the basket. I'm not so winter. I don't know so
Mike00:04:26Yeah, so okay well but the other thing because I agree with your theory on conversation because the other thing that happens with the two-way conversation is it goes to one extreme of the other either you end up getting into an argument or like a debate or like something where you're like sort of fine like like where you where as you point out like Talking in circles, but arguing with each other or what I think more often happens particularly in podcasting is like The conversation gets just yes I agree with you and let me add to this but and it's like then it just gets boring because we're just agreeing with each other So how are we going to avoid this on today's show Sonny? What do we what are we gonna do? We're just gonna we probably won't
Sonny00:05:11We probably won't It helps it helps to that. You're you're on like crappy, New Hampshire hotel Wi-Fi right now So like you're you're like a tenth of a second behind for me. So it's it's this is even better Frankly from my perspective what a show I It's gonna be great guys. I'm real excited to talk about no, I it's funny So it's funny that you mentioned this because I had on on the Bulwark goes to Hollywood I had Matt singer on to talk about his Siskel and Ebert book and One of the things that we we talked about a little bit is, you know, there's a ton of movie podcast or there's an endless movie Review podcast. This is frankly a movie review podcast But one of the reasons that none of them works really as well as Siskel and Ebert did was that they Actually disliked each other at least at the beginning Like they at the at the beginning of the show, you know, they they had an active Dislike for each other and they were able to they obviously overcame that they became closer as time went on and they became they Became friends, etc, etc but like the but like their foundational relationship was not one of mutual admiration or Respect it was like, you know, we're we're Competitors we're competitors. We're both trying to get interviews. We're both trying to get These reviews and when we disagree with each other We let each other have it because we don't like we don't feel the need to protect each other's feelings And I like and I am I am open to that I do think there's some benefit to having the mutual respect so you can have a real conversation about differences Whatever, but like I actually I actually think that's so I'm gonna treat you like dogshit this whole show and that'll that'll make it That'll make it a much more exciting Endeavor for all of us. So is it any different? Than any other show in that see this is why this is why the best episodes are the ones where you know we we get in little little spats like remember remember when I Remember what was what was it that I was like? Are you really a co-host you're my fellow cop that my fellow that line that that that That was a funny bit. See that was a funny bit because it put you in your place
Mike00:07:19It absolutely did it absolutely did and it created and it created, you know follow-on Content and jokes, we're getting really meta here by the way in this exactly this is this is I feel like we're we're breaking forth Walls and things like that. So can I say real quick on the Cisco me birthday? I mean, it's so it's so interesting for a couple reasons one is because they literally were competitors right from competing newspapers, right? And in in the same in the same market in Chicago But also I feel that it's that does not go Their trajectory does Not go the way that a lot of partnerships go which is they start off as friends and then working together Sort of breaks them apart, right? Like that's that's that's Paul McCartney and John Lennon, you know, that is You know, you you do hear about these partnerships that you know Or basically any sort of entertainers who are married to start off with like they always and do their act together Sonny and Cher whomever like they always like end up getting divorced and end up breaking up It was kind of interesting That's a skull and Ebert. It was kind of kind of the other way around. Well, that would never happen on this show
Sonny00:08:29so the But so what so what's going on in my in my world? Here's I have I have a sad update. No, not really sad, but you know, it's a it's it's not sad yet
Mike00:08:44Anyway, so I was What's that trash can lizard update now?
Sonny00:08:49No, God that well, that will never be tough. No, so I have a dog, you know, everybody People people may or may not know I have a dog. I have a small dog. She's you know, like 16 to 18 pounds schnauzer Poodle mix we think she's she she's she a lot of schnauzer some poodle She doesn't shed which is a nice job job the the main reason the famous job job And the other day like two or three weeks ago My dog who was old she's like 13 She's you know, they're 12 13 got this like burst of energy was just running all around the house Like, you know she had been chewing on a bone or something was like just running around going crazy running all around the house and then like Went to the doors like I gotta go outside cuz I want to run outside cuz you know She did that so she went outside just started running in circles, which is what she does Hey, you know like she really only has like two or three laps in her at this point like right Or you know, she gets she gets real tired, but on that first on that first turn around The yard she went yep and like started limping on one leg and I immediately Knew it was like it's like when you watch the slow-mo of Aaron Rodgers is ankle and you see the tendon Like pop-up like that is almost like I could just see it in my mind's eye happening She's like hopping along on her back right leg like doesn't want to put any weight on it And I'm like, oh no, this is not gonna be good because I mean like she's she's like pulled muscles before and like limped a little bit and then like got another and But like like would not would not put any weight on it So I was like I crap we got to take her to the gotta take her to the vet go to the vet Sure, that's a fun trip She she had essentially I I don't know exactly what the equivalent is here But she basically blew her doggy ACL like her her like ligament was was you know came off the leg and Sir her four leg and her upper leg are like rubbing together when she Put weight on it, so she's obviously in a lot of pain So she she today right now literally as we're taping this on Thursday Afternoon is at the the dentist or the vet preparing for Surgery she's gonna. They're gonna put her under the knife She's gonna and like really you know look here's the thing you know sometimes I see people talk about how they spend you know Thousands and thousands of dollars on a dog with cancer or something and like I Like I understand that but I also like that's one of those things where it's like like harder on the dog
Mike00:11:32Yeah, we do it here
Sonny00:11:34But like with this it was like well her it's just her leg. She's fine. Otherwise. She's in perfect health You know she like she if it's not like we were not gonna put her down because she's got a she's got a bad leg so like Anyway, long story short I'm I'm waiting to hear back from the if I have to if I have to get off if this becomes A one-man show for for a few moments. It's because I have gotten I've gotten on the phone with the veterinarian who is Explaining to me that you know there's some other terrible thing wrong That's gonna cost thousands of dollars to fix and I know but I is supposedly it's a pretty straightforward procedure they put some bands in and it creates a simulation of Attendant or something. I don't know but I'm not a doctor not a doctor
Mike00:12:24Here's the question. What is the recovery like because the recovery from a human ACL I know from personal experience not my own but my She was not my wife at the time But my wife her ACL and it's like that is a that's a long process of not being able to move Before you're fully recovered
Sonny00:12:46Not it's not a hundred percent clear to me. It's my understanding is that the the recovery process is something like eight weeks Yeah, so it's it's gonna be a lot of like and this is the other thing about this is the other thing It's very funny about the dog too because like she hurts her leg But she doesn't want to stop doing anything, you know, and I am convinced that this is like I'm convinced at this I can't remember if I mentioned this on the show I don't think I have because I don't think I've talked about this at all But like she she has this like it's almost like an evolutionary instinct Where she's just like running around the house wagging her tail like look. I'm still part of the pack. I'm still useful You can't get rid of me. Don't Exclude me behind dog games. I am still I'm still useful and it's it's just like we don't want you to be useful Just sit down and relax dog. You're gonna hurt yourself more. This is ridiculous So I like I might my my my hope is that when she comes back She'll just sit in her dog bed or like on the couch we can make a little nest with the blankets for and she Just stay there, but she's not gonna want to do that She's gonna want to jump around and run all around the house and go outside and smell things and whatever It's it's like I love the dog a lot But she annoys me to a to a large extent when she won't just heal just heal
Mike00:14:09So this is this is one of the few instances. I've I think where You would rather have a cat than a dog because the cat if the cat tears the ACL it has to recover It's just gonna do what it always does Which is let They around to do jack shit, so like you know this is this is really the only reason odd because I well I'm allergic to cat so I can't have a cat, but I don't like cats and And and they're kind of good for nothing Except for laying around so this would be the perfect perfect time to have a cat so
Sonny00:14:42Yeah, but if you if you have a cat if you have a cat that has a bum like don't you just like put it? In a sack and throw the sack in the river isn't that what you're supposed to do with cats
Mike00:14:50I won't come for neither confirm nor deny that that's what I would
Sonny00:14:54Do if I know I like cats I like cats fine. I'm just joking I'm leaning into being a dog person over a cat person cats are great We I think we would probably have a cat too honestly if my wife wasn't Allergic because it would be so much easier to take care of but the but neither neither here nor there see how much pet talk So anyway, that's what's going on. That's what's going on in my world is dealing with with the injured animals Mike How are you doing? Oh?
Mike00:15:22I'm grand Sonny I am we are recording this from or I should say I'm recording this as you noted from my hotel room in In the beautiful Granite State in New Hampshire. I'm here for my day job Covering the New Hampshire primary and I will say this So I'm a child of the southeast and Seeing so much of the southeast covered in snow with sub-zero temperatures I mean I had friends in Nashville who were dealing with sub-zero temperatures and you know several inches of snow being being you know Stuck in their houses for days with children who were not allowed to go to daycare or school and And all of that and and and that storm Also hit up here in New Hampshire And I do have to like respect the way that These places where it actually snows all the time like they know how to deal with this stuff and they they got the salt Treating the roads and they've got the you know more snowplows. They know what to do with but I Will say that I'm just not made for it and and I almost died Here in the great white north or I guess America's great white north So I had to drive to an event so I was covering an event presidential candidates event being held up in the White Mountains and I I left in the early afternoon For an event that started at 6 p.m. About an hour and a half drive and clear weather But I wanted to make sure I got there The snow was already falling and as I'm driving north the snow is getting harder and harder I later found out that like the worst of the storm was like crossing as where I was driving At the point that I was driving But it's that it's that it's the the it wasn't quite whiteout but it's that like driving snow as you're getting farther and farther away from civilization and The cars in front of you that are sort of like keeping on the highway and on the road the the trail on which your Your tires will also go go on and and not be slipping and sliding on on ice or snow like Those cars start to turn off and get off exits and your stuff and all of a sudden I'm at the front of the line and that line behind me is getting small as well and like You just feel like you're driving into your death Thankfully I was not the I it worked out fine, but like you are like ripping the steering wheel It was you know at one point like going like 20 miles an hour for you know for like 30 miles down winding roads and stuff just to get to this event and
Sonny00:18:25You're basically scatman crothers in the the shining well it's back to to Denver
Mike00:18:31It's it's not just that because the the location for the event was the Mount Washington Hotel the famous Mount Washington Hotel where the Bretton Woods conference the original globalist conference Put in you know that that set up the like International Monetary Fund and all this stuff in the and then I know I know all about the cut
Sonny00:18:52Conference, that's fine
Mike00:18:54exactly, so it was at this hotel and the hotel is one of these it's erroneously described as Stephen King's Inspiration for the overlook that doesn't actually appear to be the case just because it's sort of close to Maine people think that it is But there's apparently an actual hotel in Colorado that the overlook is based off based on but But it is like it is of that era of hotel of these sort of like old-school hotel resorts and so what I ended up happening was I Was convinced by several of my fellow members of the media not to drive two and a half hours back to my hotel in You know freezing conditions with snow falling and so I stayed at this hotel for the night And I have to say like there's something to be said for those Old hood like there's something sort of magical about those old hotels something also a little creepy You know like maybe there were ghosts in the hotel I I don't know but like I it just it's a reminder of like it was just a different It was a different way of like thinking of like vacation and resort and hotel everything is so much cut is like grand and also like sort of I guess it's it's a little like the modern resorts. It's just It's it's all very it's so much more elegant and it's less frankly, it's like it's like less egalitarian and It's just a hotel the rooms. You felt right at home. I felt right at home is what I'm trying to say I don't know. I was just charming question
Sonny00:20:40So I question where we're so you didn't have a reservation or anything You just showed up and you were like I can't drive home. Can I have a room and they were like yes
Mike00:20:50Yeah, I mean I did it I did it like a like a good millennial and I did it online so I didn't have to interact With an actual person, but there was one there was one room left of the cheapest level of room What was the cheapest level of room? Oh, it was like three hundred and eighty six dollars
Sonny00:21:10That's I guess that's I mean that's not for the day I guess for very last second exactly
Mike00:21:17so, but you know like it's like It's one of these hotels. It's got like multiple restaurants, you know, and they're like nice restaurants, too you can go down and have a have a nice meal as I did and like You know, there's I had a steak But don't do it. I'm sorry. I it was it was uh This is how the the the waiter sold it. He said like we are known for our steak. So I said, okay stick but you know, it's got like It's got like these different rooms In the lobby area, you know with like historic photos and stuff. Anyway, it's I I just I Feel you know now that I stay I'm staying for the most of my time here in like one of these soulless, you know Marriott or or Hilton hotels like just nice to see like one of these old-school You know resort focused Classic hotels and there's not that many of them left. So that's all I have to say about that
Sonny00:22:19Did it have like a spa? Room like in your in your bed and you're in your hotel suite. Did you have like a like a spa bath or anything?
Mike00:22:29No, it was very minimal I mean, here's the thing about these things and I've stayed through for work reasons that Like I've stayed at the Broadmoor out in Colorado for instance in Colorado Springs and like I would say that the quality of the rooms themselves, it's not that nice like it's they're old and They're sort of retrofitted with the things that you need, but they're not like, you know They're not like these like super luxurious, you know accommodations where you you know have all this modern I mean, nothing's modern in there. It's like it's so no it wasn't that nice But it but it has it was sort of a Like I'm sure for instance like the there there is this Beauty and some of this has to do with the location. There's there was this beautiful There's this back room off of the lobby that has a sort of Rounded back wall with windows that all look out at Mount Washington the tallest Mountain on the on the East Coast in which the hotel is built into a valley and you know, then like it's overlooking You know these fire pits that are raging in the snow and like it all just looks very picturesque and it's all sort of inviting people to like Sit down there and Order a cocktail or I don't know read the news like there's there's something like it It doesn't it invites people to sort of like be in the hotel and be doing act various activities They have you know chess boards and stuff like that and like the modern hotel experience is like you're in your room and then you leave and it's just it's everything in like the modern hotel experience is so you know functional and utilitarian and you know, I like the I like experiencing these old old hotels. They're also just so expensive and like remote and there's no good reason. Yeah, so
Sonny00:24:27last time last time I Stayed in a hotel. I guess I went down to Austin and stayed in this like boutique It's I think it's called the Tommy by JDB, but it's like But it's like attached to a Hilton or something, but it's like it's like the hip version and and like and this and this was very much like that where they had like They had like bars and like cocktail bars and like coffee shops And like a pool like it's it's the only hotel I've stayed at for work that I actually had to pay a resort fee at because they had like yes a pool and a spa and Everything and it was like why am I paying for this? They're like, it's just part of the thing I was like, all right, whatever It's still cheaper than everywhere else that I could be staying but it was like it was actually like it was like I could have Stayed though there the whole time if I had wanted to I didn't want to but like if it wouldn't have been an unreasonable course of action
Mike00:25:19To just hang out there and eat and drink. Yeah, I mean there's a if you I don't know if we've talked about this But um, I didn't watch it this year. But in the past years, I've watched white Christmas the you know, the Bing Crosby Danny Kaye Christmas movie and It takes place at one of these old resorts. It's like they're like all-inclusive resorts, but they're not they don't use the term all-inclusive But it's like it's like the place where you If you had money Um, but I don't think that much money where you would like go for like an extended vacation extended period of time and like the the the Hotel and resort itself is is the destination like maybe you're going skiing or maybe you're doing this But it's like they had like, you know entertainment. It's almost like a cruise ship You know parked, uh in the hotel, you know that they'd have entertainment and they'd have um, you know certain activities and it's just like a it's a old school approach to uh, uh to To staying in hotels and vacations. It's just um, I don't know. There's something charming. Yeah All right. Well, um, that's all the that's like all the interesting stuff. Everything else is like work related, you know Up in new york is boring. I don't want to get into it. So Why don't we move on to box office talk? I'm embracing box office talk uh this week, so I'm looking at the box office ranking mean girls The musical that is not a musical Uh, if you watch the trailers, but it clearly is a musical if you watch the movie uh, number one at 33 million almost 34 million dollars, uh Number two the movie that we're over the four day. Sorry this so yeah, we had the martin luther king jr weekend Um, and then the movie we're talking about the beekeeper uh coming right in at number two Um about you know, maybe a little more than half of what mean girls did. Um box office thoughts
Sonny00:27:16Sonny, um Yeah, uh, let's see There are a couple of things that are kind of interesting one mean girls did did pretty well Uh, but there there were a bunch of very funny reaction videos where people were like, oh, what is why are they singing again? Which suggests that people were not quite expecting it to be a musical. Um, there there is another interesting little uh Tidbit on this front, which is that the color purple uh Declined by 60 percent, uh, it's third weekend, I think Um, uh, but it is it like that movie is playing like a superhero movie almost it is so it was so front-loaded It's it's an it's first day gross was 18 million dollars, which is going to end up being about I don't know. I mean, it's probably going to end up being it's currently at currently at 58 million 50 57 58 million. So 18 million means that you know, that's going to end up being about There Somewhere between a third and a fourth of the gross Um, which is again, that's just like hugely front-loaded which suggests to me that like lying to people about that being a musical was Not smart. It was not it was not a good move. Uh, wonka continues to hold very well But that's again. That's mostly because there is not a ton of family Friendly stuff in the in theaters right now. You want to go see a movie with your kids? You're going to see either migration or Uh wonka like that's it. That's all that's all there is I mean, you could go see the boy. You could go see the boys in the boat. You could go see crudie as I call it
Mike00:28:54Aquaman
Sonny00:28:54It's not really a family movie though. That's a superhero movie. It's different. That's a different Playing to a different audience the boys in the so I don't know. So like the the question of you know, our musicals poison at the box office unclear at this point unclear at this point You could make a case. Yes and no We'll see how mean girls does over the next couple weeks here um, but uh, I do know That I like the studio thing the studio considers it a big hit because it only cost 30 million bucks or something like that to make so
Mike00:29:25Is it true? Is it earning out? Is it true that mean girls was not initially slated for theatrical release
Sonny00:29:33Yes, so this is uh this along with um, I think smile Because these are both paramount movies were movies that were made for paramount plus That paramount plus was like, oh, these are actually pretty good. We should put them in theaters uh, because That will make us more money and sure I mean like smile is one of the biggest hits of the last Four or five years just in terms of return on investment. Um So, you know, uh And I think this again, I think this pays out as well. It's interesting. I was discussing this with a industry friend Uh who was like, you know, I think there's something to be said for Uh, both of these movies are movies that wouldn't exist without streaming um, but they didn't end up going to streaming and it like I it made me start Thinking about like how Studios should be using streaming and theatrical kind of in tandem because I I like It's a situation where you you essentially have this you have this You have this pay service that you need to fill with content But you don't want to put your best content onto that pay service immediately because you're sacrificing a financial window so like I don't I I Paramount should be making 10 20 million dollar movies a year and the ones that are Good, they go to theaters and the ones that are bad. They roll out on Paramount Plus and That kind of complements the TV shows, you know the Yellowstones or whatever people are watching on Paramount Plus But also like it gives them an opportunity to to get that box office revenue And then a VOD window revenue and then people watch it when it's on streaming, you know, I like did I? The way the way studios are using the way studios are using movies In the age of streaming I find baffling and dumb. I just find it really really dumb I find I find the idea that Netflix spent almost half a billion dollars on rights to two Knives Out movies and then gave The first one of them the most token release possible just left left nine figures on the table I don't I don't understand and it's and like and that's it That's a huge hit on streaming a lot of people watch a lot of hours watch a lot of eyeballs on it. So like people Are showing up for it, but like it's it's not as popular as a popular TV show two hundred million dollars. You can make three or four ten hour You know series of television and those will all you know, isn't this just a continuation though of the of the William Golding?
Mike00:32:05Nobody knows anything like like the studios don't know they're trying things because they don't know what they don't have a model that they're basing this off of so you have Netflix doing what it's doing and Paramount You know deciding hey wait a second Let's push this out to into theaters and they're just they're just it's like if that's what it feels like to me as somebody Who doesn't follow the industry closely like you do and and is just sort of watching this as a movie viewer like that that there is they're just trying to figure it and like and everything keeps changing so like you change a strategy or you you adopt a strategy and then like it Like what worked six months ago or a year ago doesn't work anymore and and it's you know, I guess I'm standing up for this You do is a little bit here and the streamers
Sonny00:32:51No, I mean this is the thing right? Is that is that nobody? Understands how to monetize this stuff anybody who tells you that they know how to monetize Streaming and make it work. If they don't work at Netflix, they're lying to you like Netflix is the only one who's done it Successfully and they and they had enormous advantages. They had an enormous first mover advantage They they just generate so much revenue by having you know, 130 million subscribers or whatever that it's you know, they they just they just are a Printing press but like at the same time, you know The stuff that works best for Netflix is the stuff that the other studios made that they then option anytime you look at the top 10 movies on Netflix like eight of them are gonna be Stuff that was in theaters between 2 and 15 years ago You know like like law-abiding citizen the Gerard Butler Jamie Foxx movie was the number one movie On Netflix over a month ago, and it's like I remember that I remember reviewing that when it was in theaters when I worked at The Washington Times probably like You know, I like it's it's so I can't remember I mean, I can't remember exactly when that movie came out I may have been at the free beacon at that point, but you know that my point is like this stuff The movies that they're making specifically the movies on the TV front I think the streamers are all doing the bit right stuff Like you want to have serious like streaming is a natural home for television television series makes sense on streaming because you want to keep people there and you want to keep them subscribing and the reason the way You keep them subscribing is by having a show that rolls out one week after the other And then they stay for three months and maybe that is they decide to quit and go somewhere else or maybe they just stick With it because of force of habit or whatever but like but with movies. I just don't understand. I don't see the value in dropping these eight and nine figure sums of money on two hours of Content it just doesn't make it doesn't make any sense right? No slash rant
Mike00:34:59There we go. Well, let's talk then about that number two movie at the box office this week because that's the movie We're talking about on the show this week the beekeeper Sonny Give us a big boy review of the beekeeper. I
Sonny00:35:14Love this movie so much Mike the beekeeper. I love this movie Because it is it is it is the platonic ideal of a very specific sort of movie and that movie is Jason Statham beats up people who deserve it, which is a genre unto itself. I mean this is a this is a thing that is not That is that is a fairly a fairly well-worn Genre and of course you could you could slot other people into that you you could say it's a Sylvester Stallone movie where he Beats up people who deserve it or it's a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie where he beats up people who deserve it And this is why I so some people have compared this movie to The John wick series and I think that is the wrong way to look at it because the John wick movies are doing a very specific sort of thing they're doing this kind of Hyper stylized fight sequences with that are that are very smooth and fluid and flowing and like the real Star of the movie is like how's John wick gonna kill what what weird way is John wick gonna kill this guy or like how many? Headshots is he gonna get off at a time and how few cuts are we gonna have? While we watch it, right? It's like it's it's a different sort of thing. This is much more like again Like a mid 80s to mid 90s high concept action star movie that would have starred Sylvester Stallone or Jean-Claude Van Damme Or I don't know somebody somebody in that reject Lee, you know somebody somebody in that that range of star Or you go back a little earlier It's like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the in the early 80s And you combine that this is the other thing you have to keep in mind with this movie is that you combine that with basically The death wish the Charles Bronson death wish or Clint Eastwood dirty Harry Ethos, which is it's not just Jason Statham beating up bad people who deserve it it's Jason Statham beating up bad people who deserve it because the system has failed and is corrupt and the You know the you know the pussy lawyers, but their worries about civil liberties are gonna You know get the criminals off the hook like that is that is very specifically what this is rooted in so the plot here Very simple Jason Statham retired special forces operative of an organization called the beekeepers Hit the the woman he is renting farm space from to keep his beehives It kills herself after Fisher's pH Fisher's scam Her out of her life savings and retirement and the money she holds for a charity that she runs She shoots herself in the head and Jason Statham calls in some favors to figure out Who these guys are and then he kills them all he kills them all he goes to the call center blows up the blows up the call center The the whiny millennial or the whiny and he's not even a millennial He's Gen Z the whiny Gen Z kid in the sharkskin suit shows up at his farmhouse with some goons and they try to take him out and they fail he kills them all and then the kid runs away, and he's like I Failed my millennial boss and the the millennial boss who is played by Josh Hutcherson very young millennial He's right at that line of Gen Z and millennial and in the movie He actually says he's 28 which puts him like right on the border. Yeah between Gen Z and millennial although the actor
Mike00:38:42Which again, I think is very much older, right?
Sonny00:38:44Yeah, Josh Hutcherson is older than his 30s. Yeah, he's a he's a true more. He's got to be in his 30s He's but but but again. I think it's very important that that's specific Yes, age is mentioned because it is like again. He's like right at that Gen Z millennial cutoff And what this movie then kind of evolves into is like the olds taking out the The decadent young so it's like Gen X God Jason Statham kills all of these guys who have like decided that they're going to prey upon the Weak and he like instills a moral lesson in them, right? He like makes them recite You know, I promise not to steal from the poor and the weak and the old ever again
Mike00:39:30And like I forget what exactly they literally have to put down their jewel pods in order to do this Like they're like all of like the little details are like little signals. Sorry. I don't mean to interrupt
Sonny00:39:41It's just like it's it is very totally no, but it's it's it's totally it's totally coded as as and then and Then you get to you there's a character in here is played by Jeremy Irons whose main function is to deliver Exposition in his like silver tongue Jeremy Irons way But who also functions as like here is a boomer who is filled with disdain for these kids But is like forced to work with them because that's you know That is the the deal he has made and we'll get to why he has made that deal in a minute because the the where this Plot the plot of this movie goes is one of the funniest fucking things I've ever like the most ridiculous thing But then and so like so you have like Gen X Jason Statham looking with disdain and hurting these kids you have boomer Jeremy Irons looking on disdain with these kids and hating what they do And then who is everybody so like a replacement beekeeper shows up and again It's like a young kid who's crazy and just starts shooting up a gas station with like a with like a minigun and You know like and Jason Statham, you know takes her out to you Protect the hive that's the other great thing about this movie is that it is like a like a 80s or 90s action movie It's just like filled with the most ridiculous terrible puns clunky you've ever heard if you've if you've it there's a there's a line in this movie where somebody asks Jason Statham to be or not to be or As some as somebody uses that line, but instead of you know be it's b e to be or not And it's just like it's the worst thing you've ever heard, but it's also the best thing you've ever heard because It's so ridiculous, so this movie this movie like if it operates in a very difficult a very difficult position which is it needs to be silly without being stupid and I know there are people who disagree with me about the stupidity of this movie and we again we can talk about that a little More when we get to the actual plot, but I think this movie nudges right up to the line of silliness without Plunging over into stupidity. It's it's entertainingly endearingly silly without being stupid now I Maybe it is kind of stupid Here's what actually happens so the reason that Josh Hutcherson who is a young millennial old Gen Z is Running this fishing operation is because he's stealing money from the old to funnel it into his mother's Presidential campaign because she's the president of the United States So Jason Statham the beekeeper to protect the hive has to take out the queen who has created Malicious offspring it's explained all in bee metaphors apparently apparently there are there are types of drones Who if the queen is creating bad? soldier bees will then attack the queen and kill her and eat her and behead her and She'll and and get rid of her and that's what he's doing That's what he I have no idea if this is actually true or not if it's just something invented for the movie But it seems plausible it seems sure that seems reasonable. Why not? Why can't Jason say? Why not? So anyway the whole thing the whole thing culminates in the most insane presidential fundraiser. I've ever seen with like
Mike00:42:58Again, no, no, it's a birthday party, isn't it?
Sonny00:43:01Is it a fundraiser birthday party? I think it's both. Okay. Well, I don't know. I mean whatever who knows whatever whatever The point is the president is that this thing with like fire jugglers and You know women in like leotard. Yeah, and then like a team of killers Who's headed up by this guy who has the best Afrikaans accent every movie should have a villain with an Afrikaans accent I firmly believe this everyone should have someone who's out there like I'm going to kill the beekeeper I want I want to hear that. I want to hear that in every movie every movie. I want to hear that in And of course all those people get killed and the beekeeper kills them all and restores balance to the hive either again I this this this movie is not high art, but I enjoyed it a great deal because It succeeds at what it is very specifically setting out to do Which is to give us the cathartic pleasure of watching Jason Statham murder a bunch of fishers That's it. That's all we want. That's all we want That's all I want in the world is to watch Jason Statham hurt people who are doing bad things sure who are like seemingly unstoppable by any government agency Sure the end the end of yeah, yeah, um I
Mike00:44:15agree with the general thrust of your take on this movie sunny it is it stays on the side of Silly without being stupid and where it does get stupid. It seems to even Acknowledge this subtly that it is stupid, but like I do think Jason Statham Grounds it And and keeps it from that one because because he is so kind of serious in his own Mission and you buy it the whole time like you you it part of that is he I don't know how many lines of dialogue he he says in this movie like Maybe he says a hundred words in this movie And he's just sort of the stoic presence this like this like machine that just keeps moving forward and You kind of don't know what he's gonna do next even though you do know he's just gonna like beat the shit out of whoever gets in his way, but So I love it. I will say this Every time I thought I think the big mistake the movie makes is The way they did the FBI agent daughter and her partner I'm not saying you can't have those characters. I Might not have made them her the daughter. I might not have made her the daughter of Felicia Rashad like I don't know if they needed that connection and it kind of confused me a little Bit about why she was even allowed. She's the
Sonny00:45:49Right. She's she's the daughter of the woman who killed herself. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry Felicia. Yeah
Mike00:45:54correct like that whole thing to me was confusing her like and and sort of took me out of The driving plot of this movie, which is Jason Statham going to kill people who deserve it
Sonny00:46:09You know totally I think you're totally right her her her character arc makes no sense Because she starts off as like I am angry and want revenge For this and I want to stop these guys and then when Jason Statham starts to stop them She's like, oh I have to stop him from stopping them and then at the end. She's like, oh, no, it's okay I like I just think there's there's a There's there's a cleaner through line for her that does not involve her Motivations going all over the place like she she just does whatever the plot needs her to do to like either to either get Statham information or to try to stop him from accomplishing his next task It's she she serves much more of a plot function than a character function Which is which is I think what you're kind of keying in on like her her Her behavior does not make a great is not consistent enough to make a great deal of sense I feel like there I feel like there are several there are several like kind of interesting plot threads That are hinted at but not really Followed through on like for instance Statham's refusal to drink He there are several occasions where he is yes alcohol, and he doesn't he turns it down in like a very It's like a very purposeful way like we're getting to some sort of and like she is like wallowing in alcohol and like it's like You know is there some sort of there's some sort of anti drinking message here What's going on and then like just never? It's never really followed up on
Mike00:47:46the same thing with the With her kind of estranged relationship with her now dead mother like like you know there's there's some talk You know I should have been here more like it's like they they wanted to I Didn't understand why we needed two people to have a relationship with The elderly woman who kills herself at the beginning of the movie like like we don't need her daughter to To to we don't need the FBI agent to be her daughter It kind of makes no sense other than like as you say like getting the plot to move forward so that she's working She has motivation to work on this case but it made no sense the other you know or another thing is the the the whole the hint at like Her partner right like there's like her partner calls and he's like holding his baby daughter and They have photos of him with his kids and they sort of like set all this up like you know He's a family man And then there's even a moment where like you think he's going to die because the beekeeper cannot be stopped and he's like I have kids and the beekeepers like okay, it doesn't kill him and it's like I Was like well, I was invested in this guy and then I could just didn't nothing happen
Sonny00:49:06Well now there's there's there there is an interesting like there's an interesting morality to Statham's character in this where he is like very ostentatiously Either punching or kicking or shooting in body armor like exclusively in body armor the the cops the FBI agents Etc, but when it comes to the the private paramilitary forces or You know the like gang of killers at the end including our Afrikaans friend He gets much more. He's like he just kills those guys, so it's like it's very it's it's like It's very amusing to watch the moral calculus of this film at work because you can see all the gears Turning it's it's not this is not a subtle movie in any way this there's no there's no effort to Be you know kind of quiet, or you know there's no there's no subtext here. It's all just text It's like you want to beat shit out of some Gen Z assholes. I got a movie for you friend
Mike00:50:10even even the setup to the reveal of Josh Hutcherson's mom being president It's like it's like they hide it in the worst way possible like it's it was obvious from the moment. We saw her That she was the president the United States to me at least I was like oh Let's me the president and then like I before 30 minutes later. They're like she's the president. It's like yeah I already knew that
Sonny00:50:35this this movie definitely has a has a repeated information problem like people say things over and over again and It's it's it's interesting cut. I wrote something in my notes to this effect I don't think it made it in into my actual review, but it's um It's both efficient and repetitive somehow which is which is like usually when that happens in a movie. It's annoying It's like I don't want to I don't want to have to deal with that You know Here are the same thing here. It doesn't here. It just doesn't matter. It's fine
Mike00:51:09Well because it's all as you say it's all text and it's just like all It's all right there on the on the screen. I will here's the thing. I loved also about this movie is the the imagery You know the sort of scenes They're so memorable. So if like for instance when he when he gets the the guy running this the small level the initial head of the of the call center of the phishing scam And he like ties him up. There's the whole scene. We're on the bridge and he like ties him up and hooks him up to the truck and like that whole that whole sequence and then the the the going off of the bridge and like whipping his body into the water and like against the and it's like That is gonna stick with me for quite quite a while Like that that is that there were and there were a couple of moments like that the movie was just that's like the sign to me of a great mostly disposable action movie, which is like Yeah, but That kind of shit sticks with you. That's good
Sonny00:52:14Well there there there are a couple of so I I said it's not it's not like John wick in the sense that it's not fluid and balletic like like some of those movies are and and attempt to be It but it does have some great kills in it the truck one which is in the trailers I feel like it we can talk about that one, but there's There's there's another there's another one later on that. I don't want to spoil I want I want people to experience for themselves like in the hallways. Do you know the one? You know the one I'm thinking of
Mike00:52:45The mirror hallways. Oh, oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes
Sonny00:52:49Yeah, there's and that that one is like equally delightful like the audience in my theater. Oh
Mike00:52:57And like it's it's a it's um
Sonny00:53:00so so the kills are inventive, but not necessarily like It's it's just again. It's a different thing. It's not people keep comparing this movie to John wick. It's not John wick That's an entirely different genre of action movie This is this is much more. This is much more old-school high-concept 80s 90s big star Hurts people who deserve it sort of movie. Do you think I like that sort of thing totally totally do you think that?
Mike00:53:34Obviously the movie is elevated by Jeremy Irons because Jeremy Irons is amazing and his voice is incredible and It's so funny because his exposition that he delivers about the beekeepers and all the stuff like for everything that it like If you look at the substance of what is revealed about the beekeepers, it's not actually you don't actually learn that much about them Which is great. I like that It's like it exists and it's very vague about who they are or where they take orders from and and and or they don't take orders From anybody they just have free reign to do it's like but all of that is like he adds this weight to it when there's actually not that much substance to it and I Love that too. I thought I thought he he again elevates the
Sonny00:54:22totally dial I like Jeremy Irons got called in to do Six days of work and probably got paid three million dollars to do it and like the work involved him saying dumb thing Yes, like him saying him saying things that like are like it's you know, he gives this whole speech to a bunch of tier one special Force operators right like he's talking to us. You're a green beret You're a seal you're a member of seal team six. You're all a bunch of pussies He'll kill all you maybe one of you maybe one of you will get lucky and that'll be the end of this thing But he's probably gonna kill all of you because you can't stop him You can't stop this man and like it's literally like a three minute monologue like that It just goes on and on but it's delightful. It's like Jeremy Irons literally Jeremy Irons literally has the voice that science Has decided is the perfect voice. This is an actual story. That was I think I linked to it in my review Oh, there's an actual story from for many years ago that the BBC had just like him and Alan Rickman both Which was funny because they were both They were die-hard and die-hard with a vengeance right, but they have like perfectly mellifluous voices and it And they should be called in to do this is and this is the thing I firmly believe is that all such movies should call in somebody like Jeremy Irons didn't necessarily have To be Jeremy Irons, but you got to find somebody with that Authoritative tone to come in and deliver your dumbest dialogue
Mike00:55:49Yes, and and I think you do have to go the British route because the British You know the British actor system. It's like like they have these Terrific, you know actors and and they're like willing to do dumb shit like this like that's just like they're working So any any oh I had I had one more thought on this which is Do we and maybe this is knowledge? Do we expect there to be you know, the beekeeper - I mean everything is set up For there to be a franchise here Is there anything that we know of that that Jason Statham is gonna make another one of these?
Sonny00:56:27Yeah It depends on how much money it makes I guess okay, but I do not think it's unreasonable to believe that there will be a beekeeper -
Mike00:56:37Yeah, no, that's yeah, that's hers
Sonny00:56:41Back to the hive - with like a dollar sign Yeah, exactly exactly
Mike00:56:46All right. Well, I don't have any other thoughts Sonny any final thoughts on the beekeeper No, great movie. Everyone should go see it. Absolutely. All right. Well, that's all the time this two-person Sub-Beacon is going to give to the show Thanks for listening. Go to subbeacon.com sign up become a patron and tell your friends and family. We'll see you next time
?00:57:10I
Sonny00:57:17Don't know what we're doing reacher. Yeah another another round of reacher
Mike00:57:22But do you have any outtakes on on the beekeeper anything? No, I just I like again
Sonny00:57:26There there's that whole sequence at that whole sequence at the end at the par birthday party slash fundraiser I just want to talk to the costume designer of that movie because it's it's like they they have this guy show They he they have this guy show up And he's dressed kind of like he's clearly color scheme to look like a hornet or something right the whole right This is like one of the running themes of the but his team He's got like a guy with a cowboy hat like you know a lady with a bunch of guns It's just like it's just absurd I like I actually want to watch the whole movie again just to watch that last sequence and like look at the everybody in the Backgrounds to see what they're what they're wearing because it's so insane see I want to I want to watch it again
Mike00:58:09Just see the Geography of the house because like all of this is happening, and there's all this like Destruction and gunfire and all this stuff and meanwhile like the place where where he's trying to get to where the people are like It's silent in there as they're having these conversations and yelling at each other It's just like so where is this because it doesn't look like that big of a house It's like it's kind of a weird like scene, but on the other hand who cares you know yeah
Sonny00:58:37I'm sure it's fun All right, let's do our...

Spot something wrong in this episode? Suggest a correction →

Comments

Loading…