Guest00:00:00What I'm trying to say is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change.
Sonny00:00:23Welcome back to the Sub-Beacon. I'm Sonny Bunch. I'm your host, permanent co-host, Sonny Bunch, guest host forever. That's me. And we are joined today by Mike Warren. Sadly, Jonathan V. Last is out. We were going to tape an episode of Cocaine Bear this week. We all went and we all saw Cocaine Bear. We all did cocaine and then saw Cocaine Bear. And then we were going to talk about that experience and what it was like. But unfortunately, JVL is out today. He is unexpectedly unavailable. So we had to scramble. We're scrambling. We came up with a different topic to tide us over until we can get to the Cocaine Bear. And that is Rocky IV. We decided we're going to do Rocky IV. We'll get to that in a minute. But first, let's talk about weekends and stuff. Mike, how are you doing? How have you been since last week we chatted?
Mike00:01:19Oh, just fine, Sonny. I had a humbling experience after we last chatted. You know, as a as a homeowner and as somebody who I would I would I would say that I am on the above average side in terms of handiness, ability to do things around the house. But let me tell you, I was humbled. I was humbled.
Sonny00:01:44Let me let me I want to I want to get it. I want to get a sense for your range here. So let's say let's say you needed to fix the the flapper thing in the toilet, the plunger flapper thing in the toilet. Could you do that?
Mike00:01:55I do it in my sleep.
Sonny00:01:57OK, what if you what if you had a leak in a faucet and you needed to replace the faucet? You wanted that you wanted to replace the whole faucet apparatus. Do you think you could do that?
Mike00:02:08I could. I have. But I don't know if I can say 100 percent of the time anymore.
Sonny00:02:18OK, last question. And this is a subject that's near and dear to my heart. Electricity. Do you mess with? Anything electric? So if you needed to rewire something or if you needed to if you needed to make an outlet work that you weren't it wasn't working, you weren't sure what was doing it. Would you open it up and stick the stick your screwdriver into the socket yourself or would you hire somebody to do that?
Mike00:02:44I have done it. I have changed light switches. I have changed light fixtures and installed. Fans and those sorts of things so I have done it installing a fancy that's a big that's a big task installing a ceiling ceiling fan that's like a that's like a real I've done both the ceiling fan and the you know, like the bathroom exhaust fan so it's not pretty I but I'll just put it this way. I did the I did the one bathroom ceiling fan and when we needed to actually install one in another bathroom in our house. My wife called an electrician to do it. So let's just just I'm just putting all that information out there. So so listeners can judge kind of where I am you so you get the you got the you got the thumbs down. I got the I got the you know, it just took a little long but but like, you know, I'm almost done that my life like I am almost done with whatever the project is, you know, if anybody asks and anybody is my wife like honey, I'm almost done. It's it's so close. And sometimes almost done isn't isn't fast enough. So that's where I am. But I had this humbling experience because when I bought when we bought this house, now almost seven years ago, one of the very first things I did was I had to replace a toilet. And I said, I will do it myself. And I learned a lot. And I had a lot of preparation in terms of how do I exactly do this? What's the best way to do this? Can I spend a little more money to make it a little easier? Rather than the wax ring, I bought these like reusable polyurethane, whatever ring to put on. But I did all the research. And you know what, Sonny, I did it myself. And it's still in the bathroom to this day. It works just fine. And, and so you get a little big head when you do something like a big like that, like replacing a toy thing.
Sonny00:04:53That's a big job. I would, I would not tackle that. I would not, I would not, there's no, there's no way that I would look at like, okay, we need to do toilet. I'm going to replace the whole toilet by myself. Again, like the insides of the toilet, the like, the little mechanisms, I can watch that on YouTube. Yeah, in the tank, right? Like I can watch on YouTube, figure out how to fix those, replace those, change those out. Like I've done that on several toilets now. I have like, I am a, I am a, I'm a flapper or whatever expert. I can, I can do that. But like the idea of like taking an actual fixture out of the house, putting it on the curb and then putting a new one in. No, no, no, thank you. I don't, that's no good.
Mike00:05:34So you can see why I got a bit of a, an ego boost, a bit of a big head about, you know, a confidence level that far outpaced my actual ability.
Sonny00:05:44You're basically Chip Gaines.
Mike00:05:46Exactly. Exactly. But isn't he always like screwing things up and his wife is like yelling at him. So I really, I guess I really am. I don't watch that show. So I don't either. I just, I'm aware of their existence. Exactly. So I've done quite a few like plumbing adjacent tasks over the years or plumbing. Let's just say it. It's plumbing and I've done it. You're a plumber. I would never, you're basically a plumber. I would never say that. You're basically Mario or Luigi of Super Mario. So I've done like a read read renovation of it sort of. And one of the things I did was pull out the pedestal sink that the previous owners had put in and we put in a vanity with a new sink. All this stuff did it all. And I ran to the problem of of with the the lead, you know, where the water comes in those valves in the process of taking them off to take off the pedestal sink. I realized they were broken. They were not they were basically the fact that they were screwed in was the only thing keeping them from not leaking. So when I unscrewed them to take it apart, it started leaking. So I had to replace the angle stop valves that let the hot and cold water in. And then in the process of figuring that out, I realized I had to literally deal with the copper pipe coming in from the water. So all of a sudden I'm sitting on the floor of this bathroom. This is like a year and a half ago trying to figure out what I'm going to do, how I'm going to do this. I get like some copper pipe cutter thing tool that, that, and I did it. And I actually like successfully did it. So now my head is even bigger. I can do anything. Like you want me to clean out a P-trap? Easy. That's nothing. Unscrew the P-trap, clean it out. Well, last week, end of last week, the utility sink in our laundry room is getting clogged up. In fact, it's been clogged up for a while. Is this like a deep basin type? This is a deep basin sink. It is essentially jerry rigged to have the, the drainage from the washing machine goes into it. But like when I'm painting, for instance, I, and I wash out my paint in there or do any sort of like dirty work in the utility sink, but it's been clogging up. Probably. You don't just pour your paints. You just don't, you don't just pour your paint into the backyard. No, I try not to. You don't just, you don't. I mean, that's where the oil and stuff goes too, right? Like you're, you know, when you're changing your oil, you don't have like a little pit. Just throw it in the back. Look, I mean, I live in an important wildlife watershed, so I just, I just throw it back there. So, so it's like, so I'm looking at this project and I'm going, this is easy. It's cleaning out a P-trap. It's unscrewing the P-trap under the sink and getting the disgusting gunk and lint and whatever else is in there, putting it back together. Easy as pie. Um, you know, pride goes before the fall. This is like, this is my humbling experience because I get down there. It's, it's a brass P-trap. I've never seen a brass P-trap before. It's clearly was put in by the previous owner, but I'm like, oh, I can take this off. I start to take it off. I start to get a little frustrated because it's not quite twisting off in the way that I expect it to. I'm starting to question, am I even turning it the right? Maybe I'm tightening it too much. Uh, and then I start to kind of sweat a little bit, but I'm like, I've got to get this thing off so I can fix this because you may know, and listeners may know, I've talked about it the last few episodes. I have a newborn in addition to two other kids. Um, laundry is a big deal in our house right now. It's kind of a thing that we do all the time. So the pressure is on me, Sonny, to finish this job. I'm like cranking my wrenches and trying to get this stupid P-trap off that I've gotten a million times off before, uh, on other sinks. Uh, the P-trap gets cracked as I'm pulling it off. Okay, fine. Big deal. I've got a bunch of extra P-traps in my workroom. I can go install. It's PVC, it's polyurethane or whatever the plastic is. Easy. But part of the ring of the P-trap of the metal P-trap is stuck on the drain pipe that's connected, like the black sewer drain pipe that's connected to everything, like all the wastewater that gets out of the house. So now I'm trying to get this thing off and I'm like pulling and banging and doing all kinds of things and working for like four hours before I finally throw in the towel. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm humble enough to realize this is now a real plumber needs to, to be called in. So we call in a couple of plumbers, a find one who can come the next day. He comes in and I go off to do whatever I, I am doing that day. And my wife calls me and she says, you crack the pipe. Okay. You mean the pipe that I pulled off? I, yeah, I knew it was cracked. It was, it was rusting. No, no, you cracked like the big black drain pipe, sewer pipe, sewer wastewater pipe. And it's going to be like $300 more. Okay, fine. Swallow it. Two hours later, he's kept working. I've cracked it. I've cracked it again in another place. I had no idea. So he's now like basically using like all of his tools to rebuild half of the drain pipes in our basement. And like, I come home for whatever, I think I like went out to lunch or something like that with, with somebody. And I came home and it was like, we, I got the look. I, she didn't have to say anything. We, I am never doing any plumbing in this house ever again.
Sonny00:11:49Well, I mean, look, how the mighty have fallen. This way. You got to look at it this way. You got to look, you got to look at it. All right. How much money have you saved over the years by doing these things on your own? It's in the thousands. I'm sure. Absolutely. High hundreds, at least low to mid thousands. Yes. I mean, like just replacing a toilet. Yes. Like that's a, that's a big job. That's a, that's probably a, I don't know how much it would cost to get a plumber to replace a toilet. I would guess.
Mike00:12:16It would depend on how quickly you need them to do it, but yeah, something like that. $500.
Sonny00:12:21I mean, look that right there, that covers whatever non, the pipes that you're, you're so in the, you're in the long run, you're still ahead of the game. Now here's the thing. So I am, uh, I, I, I don't really mess with water and I don't really mess with electricity. Um, with one, one exception. I did, I did replace a light fixture recently. It went, it went pretty well. I don't have to say I was very proud of myself.
Mike00:12:43That's a good like entry level. And I'm not saying this like dismissively, that's a good entry level, like into, uh, do it yourself. Oh, electricity.
Sonny00:12:51Right. Yeah. Like, I don't want to, I don't want to really mess around with any light switches. I don't really want to put in dimmers or anything that seems too complicated, but like the actual fixture itself was, was not too bad. Um, but the, uh, but I don't, I don't mess around with electricity. I don't mess around with water. And I, I've, I've, this has worked out pretty well for me. I mean, like once I remember there was a, there was a sink in my, in the last house I lived, the kitchen sink was leaking and had been like, had been leaking for a while. Not good. It had been leaking for probably like 18 months, just little, little, little, just a little drip, but you know, enough to like rust everything out. So I was like, I was like looking down there. I was like, I guess I could try to replace this myself. Like replacing a faucet is, doesn't actually seem, it's just a, you're just a, and then I was like, you know what? No, I'm not going to do that. Cause I, God only knows what's going to happen the moment I take this off. And I'm glad I did because I called, I called somebody in, um, and he ended up having to cut the thing out with like the jaws of life, uh, because it had all rusted and it all rusted together. He was like, what, how long has this been rusting? It's like, uh, a month. He's like, no, it hasn't. I was like, yeah, no, you got me. It's been like this for a long time. It's been like this for a long time. You got you. This is why I'm paying you to fix it. Don't give me shit. Um, uh, so he, he did that, but it was like, it was like for him, for the professional plumber with all of the correct tools, it took like six hours to replace the whole thing. It would have taken
Mike00:14:20me a year. We just wouldn't have had a sink in the kitchen. There's something so humiliating about hearing like, like in my case, the power tools and saws being used to like fix the problem that I thought was, you know, oh, I can do this myself, but at least you had like, at least this was a guy you were friends with. Like my plumber, I get down there to like talk with him and he's like, you know, giving me a little bit of like the, yeah, when you do this, you know, this is what happens. You crack the pipes. And of course I am trying to save a little face here and trying to talk shop with the guy a bit and try to be like, yeah, you know, it was stuck. I never really dealt with brass before. I've done a lot with plastic be traps. And he was looking at me like you, you, I would never do this. I, I want to be left. I want to leave him alone and just let him do his thing. I'm not looking for a guided tour of the, we had that. We had to have somebody come out when we moved here. So
Sonny00:15:20we, uh, our, I don't know exactly how to describe this, but the, the water line running from the dishwasher, um, the kitchen sink and the, uh, the, the washer, the washing machine all basically run on the same exit lines, right? I guess, I guess this is like normal. This is not, this is not an unusual thing. But, uh, so one day, one day we were doing the laundry and the laundry started to drain and we were doing something else at the same time. Like we were doing dishes and laundry, uh, at the same time. And when the laundry, when the laundry started to drain, uh, it just started water came shooting out of like a pipe in the back, just like firing up in the air. I'm like, what is that? My, my, my washing machine has exploded. I don't understand what's happening, but apparently it was all like, it was all jammed up underneath, uh, like the, the, the exit drain or whatever was, was all, all jammed up. So I didn't even, I like, I wasn't about to like, I w I didn't even put like Drano down there. I was just like, I gotta get somebody out here to figure it out. And the guy came out and he like, he basically put, uh, a, uh, uh, an airplane jet powered hose through it. And just was like, I went and looked at, there's like, there was like, there's a release valve outside. It's just like shooting out like, uh, I don't like a, again, like a fire hose of filth just coming out of the side of my house. I was like, he was like, what did you put down there? It's like, I don't know, man. Like food and stuff. He's like, yeah, don't do that. It's like, well, I, what, I don't, what am I supposed to do with it? It's like, put it in the trash. I was like, okay, fuck you, man. Um, but, uh, but anyway, I, so I was like, but that's, that's how I feel about most, most pipes. Yes. And water pressure and filth. Not a, not a good combination. Um, well, what's going on with you, Sonny? Well, I'm just glad that you, you're
Mike00:17:19you're, your situation is fixed now. Now you can do all the kids clothes. Oh, that's all that, that, that clog is, is, is even has been unclogged. Like we, like all the, all the laundry is doing great. We're, we're happy. Everybody, everything is wearing, you know, everybody's wearing clean clothes and, um, no leaks. So call the plumber. That's, that's all I have to say. That's good. Yeah. I would, I strongly recommend getting professional help in these sorts of situations. It's just, you're never going to go wrong with
Sonny00:17:49that. Uh, I'm good. I, I have, I have, I have a very weird experience to share, share with the class. Um, so I, uh, I was, I was driving the other day and I got, uh, it, there, we, we just had like a mild cold snap in Texas. It got down to like 35 degrees or something. Um, and I got in my car to drive it and my tire pressure, uh, warning light kicked on, you know, and I think to myself, oh, this is just cause it got cold out. You know, you know how, how that happens. Like the tire pressure, when it gets cold, it goes down and then your car's like all of our, all of your tires are flat. You got to fix your car, man. What are you doing to me? Um, and I figured it was just that. So I like, I like turn on the little sensor to see where the, what's flat and no, it was just one, just one tire was flat. And I was like, oh shit. Uh, so I went back and looked at it. It looked fine, but I put, I, I, I got my little, you know, handy air compressor out and I filled it up with air. Sure enough, sure enough. It needed, I don't, do you,
Mike00:18:48do you have like one of these ones that you just plug into your, uh, cigarette lighter? Yeah, I've got one of those. It's really, um, it's not ideal. Like I, what I actually need is, uh, something heavy duty that you actually plug into a, to an actual, um, you know, AC plug. What do you need that for? What do you, what do you, what do you, because it takes forever because it takes forever for those little cigarette lighter pumps to actually fill up, uh, my
Sonny00:19:18tire, but it works in a bench. It works in a bench. It takes like 90 seconds. It takes like, it takes like whatever, uh, very valuable. Um, oh yeah. Right. What else, what else are we going to do with our lives? Tired, tired, tired of pump up. So anyway, I, I fill up the tire and I'm, I drive around for a day and I check it the next day and sure enough, it's, you know, four or five PSI lower again. So I'm like, shit, there's, there's something wrong. So I look, I kind of like, I look at the tire and I don't see anything. I call up the, the dealership because I literally just got new tires like two months ago. Like I, I, I had to replace all my tires cause they were all, you know, worn and old and had 30,000 miles on them. I was like, all right, so time for new tires. Um, so this was like two months ago, this was in December. Uh, and I call up the dealership. I'm like, Hey, I just, I just got these tires from you guys. Uh, one of them, uh, has a, has a leak or something. They're like, okay, bring it in the next day. I like look at it again and I can actually see the nail in it. So I know it's a nail. It's got a nail. It's got a nail in the tire. Now, luckily, uh, I got it at the dealership, uh, and, um, they came with road hazard coverage, you know, so, uh, it's still under warranty. Um, the, the, uh, I, I go in and I talked to the guy and he's like, yeah, it's still under warranty. Um, I see the nail this it's going to be, you know, it'll be like a $70 deductible or something, or, you know, to replace. I was like, okay, well, that's, that's better than having to pay for all of it, I guess. Um, and he was like, uh, yeah, let me, uh, let me figure out, you know, what, what's going on. Uh, so they, uh, they, they call the, they, they run it through like some separate insurance company. He's like, sometimes, you know, sometimes it takes hours. Sometimes it, you know, it's, and he's like, it's taken a long time. They haven't gotten back to me yet. So we're just gonna, we're just gonna do it here at the dealership. We're just gonna replace it and we'll figure it out with them later. I was like, oh, okay. That's nice. Um, yeah, but we got it. We, the tires coming in, we, we, we're not gonna get it to like five. So, you know, we're, you know, you can stay here, we'll send you home, you know, whatever you wanna do. So I, I get a, I get a lift. I get, I, you know, the, the dealership pays for the lift and I go home and. Nice. And I'm sitting there at home and I get a text message from the guy, Colin, who's his name, Colin. And I get a text message from Colin and it's, uh, it's like, here's your, here's your, um, additional recommended services. So I'm like, ah, this is how they get you. Of course. This is how they get you every time. This is how they get you. So it's a video. It's not, it's not like a, it's not like a, it's not like a, uh, uh, you know, a sheet of paper that says you need to do X, Y, and Z. It's, it's a video. It's like, he's gonna, he's gonna show me. So he's under the car and he's like, all right, well, we're gonna start here on the driver's side, uh, wheel and you're good here. All right. We're gonna go over to this side. Yep. This side's good too. Let me go. All right. Let me bring you back around to this side. You wanna see this? Cause it's good as well. Uh, over here, this, this, uh, this last wheel is good too. So you're all good. You don't need anything else. And I was like, what? I was like, what, what is this? What is your, this is like a, it's like a reverse bait. It's like, you're freaking me out. I was like, I was terrified that I was going to be on the hook for like another, you know, like thousand, like the suspension has, uh, fallen off or something. Or like, you know, there's something cracked underneath it, but now he's just like, no, no, you're all good. You look great. Good job. Good job maintaining your car. And then that was it. That was the video. And I was like, This is, this is the strangest thing that's ever happened to me. I've never experienced anything like this.
Mike00:22:53It's as if he's luring you into trusting him. So the next time you bring it in,
Sonny00:23:00Well, I mean, I that's, that's gotta be it. So, so that, so I, so I go back. So the next morning I go back to the dealership and, you know, go to pick up the car and I'm like, okay, yeah. Well, how much is it for the, you know, deductible or whatever? He's like, ah, don't worry about what took care of it. Like what, what you, you did. He's like, yeah, no, that's fine. We just, we just, we took care of it. So I don't know. I don't know what is going on, but I've had now two positive experiences getting my car fixed in a row, which means that I'm good. I'm like gonna get diagnosed with cancer in two days. I like, that's like my karmic balance is so out of whack right now that something terror, a meteor is gonna fall onto my house. I don't know what's gonna happen, but something bad is gonna happen.
Mike00:23:47Yeah. I would be on, I get struck by lightning. I would be on guard if I were you. I mean, this is you, cuz you are like Jerry Seinfeld, like everything balances out. And like you said, you're way outta balance. This isn't right.
Sonny00:24:00This is, this is not, this is not how things are supposed to go. This is not how things go for anyone ever. Um, so anyway, I, uh, I'm, I'm really, I'm really on the lookout now for bad things that are happening. So if you, uh, if you don't hear from me for a while, just assume. I'm dead. just assume go find a new, a new permanent guest co-host for, for the Sub-Beacon you guys.
Mike00:24:25But at least your, but at least your car will be, uh, will be, uh, in good shape.
Sonny00:24:29No flat tires, no flat tires. The under underside of the car looks great. It was,
Mike00:24:35it was like the car of Dorian gray. It's like, it's like it will, it will continue to, uh, thrive, but you will like rapidly age, start falling apart, falling apart.
Sonny00:24:46I'm just like, oh, well, one of my lungs collapsed. Good news, sir. You don't need to have your differential change. Oh, good. That's excellent.
Mike00:24:54All right. Well, that's good. You know? So anyway, that's, what's, that's, what's going
Sonny00:24:58on with me. All right. All right. So anyway, we were gonna, we were gonna, what, what, what, what were we going to talk about today? Mike, Mike Warren, uh, we were going to talk about Cocaine Bear
Mike00:25:08and I'm ready. Did you go see Cocaine Bear? I did see Cocaine Bear. I saw it, uh, at the Alamo Drafthouse and, uh, what was it? Uh, well, we could talk about this when we actually talk about Cocaine Bear, but it was a good time and everybody was having a good time.
Sonny00:25:22A good time. A good time was had by all. I also saw, I also saw Cocaine Bear. I also saw it at the Alamo Drafthouse. Uh, but we'll wait, we'll wait for JBL to talk Cocaine Bear. He was so excited for this movie. I know, I know. Like he was, he was as excited as I've ever seen him for a, for a motion picture, uh, experience. Um, and that is why we are not gonna do, we're gonna wait. We're gonna wait for JBL so he can come in and talk. About Cocaine Bear with us. Um, and instead we had to, we kinda had to scramble and come up with, uh, a, a, uh, a new topic, which is why we settled on, uh, Rocky IV, which I happened to be kind of, I wanted to watch anyway, cuz I, I'm doing a Creed rewatch cuz Creed III is coming out. I wanna be, I wanna be prepared to talk about, uh, Creed III for my review and that necessitated some, some rewatching of stuff. I rewatched Rocky IV to prepare for Creed II. Do you see what, uh, you see what, you see what's happening here? Yeah, no, it's.
Mike00:26:21Have you seen Creed? Have you seen the Creed? I feel like I, I think I saw the f see now I'm getting them confused with Rocky Balboa. Rocky Balboa. That was the one. Yeah, there's a lot of, there's a whole. That was the Rocky Balboa is the one with the, with the, uh, with the kid who's like in the, like wears the suit and goes to the office and, and his dad like does. I, I, so I, I think that's the last one. No, that's, that's Creed. Is that Creed? Okay. There's so I'm getting them all confused, but I have not seen Creed II. Um,
Sonny00:26:50let alone Creed III, which hasn't come out well. So Creed II is Creed II is, uh, it's, it's Apollo Creed's bastard son, Adonis Creed, uh, uh, fights, uh, Ivan Drago's son. Ah, and that, and it's, you know, see, that's, so that's why poetry rhymes. And so now we're, now we're talking about Rocky IV because. I was like, we should, we should watch Rocky IV and then talk about it. And Mike, I don't know about you, but I've not watched Rocky IV from beginning to end in a long time. Decades possibly, but I have seen lots of parts of Rocky IV on, you know, TNT or TBS or whatever over the intervening 20 years. Um, and I, can I just start the discussion off by saying that this is perhaps a movie that is better seen. In parts than it is from beginning to end.
Mike00:27:50We are so in sync on this because I have the same thought and I actually, I will be honest. I don't know if I have ever seen Rocky IV in its entirety until I watched it in preparation for the show, because I, like you, I have seen it in bits and pieces on cable, but like I had never sat through it and through every last fucking montage, all one after the other, until, until just a couple of hours ago. So I, I have to agree.
Sonny00:28:21I'm fast. It's a fascinating movie to watch just as a movie qua movie. So like, so to, to, for people who don't know, here's the plot of Rocky IV, Rocky, Rocky IV picks up where Rocky III left off. Rocky is he, he, he has just defeated Clubber Lang. He and Apollo Creed are hanging out and. Uh, as the, as the film begins, there's a new, there's a new contender for, for the crown, but not really the crown cause it's not really, but the, uh, but, uh, Ivan Drago from Russia, uh, is the, the modern Soviet man, the modern Soviet fighting man. And he's gonna come to America and show Americans how boxing is done. And he challenges Rocky to a fight and Apollo Creed is like, no, no, man, let me do it. Come on. This is just an exhibition. It's just an exhibition fight. We'll, you know, we'll show him, we'll show him how we do it. Here in the United States. I wanna get, I need to feel young again. I need to get out there and get it, get, get my, uh, gloves back on and get in the ring. And Ivan Drago kills him. Ivan Drago murders him in the ring. Just, just straight up literally, uh, kills Apollo Creed in the ring. Um, and Rocky then swears revenge and has to, uh, take down Ivan Drago and also the Soviet union writ large. That's that's the movie, but it's, it is. Again, the, the plot of it, I mean, the, the, the plot is what it is. This is like a fairly typical Rocky story. This is like, not, there's nothing really out of the, out of the, it's very paint by
Mike00:29:55numbers. Rocky. I mean, it's like, it's almost like if you were to just like give the elevator pitch for a Rocky movie, um, without all the high concept stuff, like this is what it, it's what it is.
Sonny00:30:06This is the or Rocky pictures, you know, Rocky, Rocky, uh, suffers a personal setback, um, and then. And has to use his fists to write the wrongs of the universe, right? That's that's essentially the, the, all of the Rockies are essentially this, um, now I, I, I, I enjoy this movie a great deal, despite everything I'm about to say. So I want, I want all of this to be taken with a grain of salt. Um, and I, you know, I, again, I grew up watching this movie on, uh, I, I have certainly seen it from in its entirety at some point, but for the last, again, 20 years or so, it's been 15 minutes here, 30 minutes there on, on TBS and what it is. It really is fascinating to watch it in its entirety because it's all right. So for the first like 28 minutes, it's like the, it is a, it is a, it's like really well paced. It sets out the stakes. It introduces us to the characters. It gives us, um, a, a emotional core, a dramatic, emotional core to identify with. And, and, uh, make sense of, and then all of the sudden after Apollo's death, really even before Apollo's death. So before Apollo's death, there's like a four minute James Brown music video performance music, just a straight up James Brown music video for living in America. Um, and it's like, it's, it's like kind of wild and like you're with, you're actually, you're actually asked to identify with Ivan Drago in the scene where he's coming up out of the. Out of the floor. And he's looking around. He's very confused by all of this pomp and circumstance and the absurdity of it all. All right. So then there's the fight. Uh, Apollo dies. Rocky doesn't throw in the towel, uh, Apollo dies, uh, and, uh, uh, then Ivan Drago and Rocky are like, we're gonna fight and we're gonna do it in Russia and we're gonna do it on Christmas day for some reason, this is like the, this is, this is what this has to happen.
Mike00:32:09Now it's smash cuts to the, to the funeral and then before you know it, all of what you just described is like agreed upon without, without ever any kind of explanation.
Sonny00:32:19There's no, there's no debate. It just happens. It's just like, all right, we're doing this now. This is it. And so like, again, the movie is like exceptionally, it's like weirdly well paced. It's like, it's like a 45 minute episode of television, frankly, at this point, like this is, so that's the first 32, 35 minutes, something like that. There's still an hour left of this movie and the way the rest of the movie works. Is that it is just a series of montages. Back to back to almost literally back to back to back with with, with lyrics that are describing what you're seeing on the screen. And I've never seen anything. I've never seen anything like it. I really am curious to know what the script for this movie look like, because I can't imagine that there's a universe in which the script is more than like 45 pages long, unless Sylvester Stallone. Of course, wrote and directed this went line by line explaining all of the shots in each of the montages. All right. And then cut to flashback to Rocky three cut to flashback to Rocky one cut to Rocky shifting his Lamborghini for the fifth time during this during this drive, I like I don't I it's it's fascinating. It is like to the extent that all right, so there's the montage where he's driving and thinking about all the good times with Apollo and then there's a there's a quick scene where he and Polly fly off to the Soviet Union and then there's a training montage that cuts between Rocky and Ivan Drago, Ivan Drago, which is set to, I think, a survivor song or as a survivor instrumental not. It's just an instrument. I think that's right. It's not even it's not even an actual song. And then Adrian shows up and she gets literally like two lines of dialogue. She's like, I couldn't I couldn't stay away any longer and he's like, Oh, Adrian.
Mike00:34:12And then there's another montage immediately within like 45 seconds. It was literally like 45 seconds between the end of the first montage, literally the beginning
Sonny00:34:20of the next one, literally another training montage. There's like, there's like a 45 minute stretch of this movie, maybe, maybe like 35. There's a 35 minute stretch of this movie. That's just montage, two lines of dialogue, montage, two lines of dialogue montage. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen a like, it's not, it's almost like an experimental film. It's like something you would see. It's like, it's like, it's like an, it's like an homage to Ziga Vertov's man with a movie camera. Like it's just, it's just impressionist snippets of life edited together with the power of montage and music. I don't know. I like, I, again, I've seen this movie before and I know, I knew that there were all of these montages, which I've seen a hundred times, probably out of order and you know, not, not one after the other. Seeing them all back to back to back. I was like, how the, how the fuck did any executive ever sign off on this? This is not, this is barely a movie.
Mike00:35:20Yes, it is barely a movie. It is. I mean, it is, it is a movie that where the, so where the sum of the parts are greater than the whole effect, if that makes sense. It's like, because, because each of those, I mean, they do work like, like little music videos, whether it's the coming to America part or the, or the, the montages, I mean, you're just listening to. The entire song, um, and you've forgotten one of the montages, which is at the very beginning of the movie, um, which is like, uh, I, I don't know if it's quite set to music. I guess there's some, some like opening music, but it's, I mean, it, it sort of captures like what happens, you know, at the end of Rocky three. So I mean, there is a lot of montage. There's also a lot of just archival footage from the previous Rocky movies. I mean, it is such a self-referential. Look, it's like ridiculous to describe it this way because the entire series is like self-referential, but Rocky four feels very much like the first one that is so, um, uh, pulling from, and some might say sort of leaning too much on like the, the, the, its previous iterations and the legend that has supposedly come about because of these Rocky movies. And it really, I mean like Burgess Meredith shows up a couple of times because like from like from the first Rocky. And, um, it, it, it feels there, there is not enough of a movie here. And so watching it entirely from beginning to end, you really get that sense that they were patting this out because what is it's only what, 90 minutes long, 95 minutes long.
Sonny00:37:00It's only like 93 minutes. It's not, it's not a long film.
Mike00:37:03And they were padding it out with old footage and music videos. It's, it's, it's weird. And it suggests that they. That sly and, and, and MGM and whatever, just did not know what to do. They just knew we got to make another one of these fucking things.
Sonny00:37:19I mean, there's literally, I would say there's literally one hour of movie. There's one hour of actual movie here and, and everything beyond that is, is Patty. Now that said it is, I, again, I, I love this, this big dumb movie with its big dumb fight between the United States and the Soviet union culminating in the battle of east versus west and you know, uh, America versus, you know, and, and it's inspirational and rock is like, if you can come to, if we can come together, I feel like I do. I do. I think that this is the movie that ended the cold war in a very real way. I, the Soviet union saw this movie and understood that it could not compete.
Mike00:38:03I mean, Gorby Gorby literally stands up in the movie. I mean, don't tell me that was an actor that was Gorbachev standing up.
Sonny00:38:09I'm pretty sure that was actually Garp. Gorbachev.
Mike00:38:12There's a reason he actually does the slow clap. I mean, it's like, so I do wonder, I mean, as a, as a child born in the eighties, but not of the eighties, I do, there was this moment where I think it was at that point where he does the slow clap where I'm going, okay, is this the, is this like playing on the cliches of movies of the time? Or is this like the source material or the, the, the, the, the, the fount of patients? Exactly. Of, of all of the like ridiculous, I mean the montage sort of trope, the all of that kind of ultimate eighties-ness and whether it's an action drama movie, like it's all here. And it's hard to like, it's hard to hate it despite all of the, like all of the sort of surface level terribleness of much of this movie.
Sonny00:39:06I mean, again, just, just looking at it as a piece of cinematic art. It is, it is not good, is not, it's not a good narrative feature. It is a, it has, it has a lot of weak that said again, it's like, it's totally compelling. And it, and, and very well paced despite the weird extended montage sequences. And of course I like, I, you know, I, there's, I, there, there's. There, there's a moment, there's, it's, it's so hard to describe what I'm about to describe, but we've, we've all seen the movie, so we know what, we know, we know what I'm talking about here. There's, there's a moment where Paulie, who has received a robot for his birthday, he's received a robot and he's reprogrammed the robot to talk to him in a sexy lady voice. And so the robot brings him a beer that he pours into a champagne flute. I think it's, I think this is, you really got to set the stage here. There was sexy. The sexy voice lady robe robot brings him a beer and he pours it into a champagne flute. And it's very clear. I don't even think it's really being insinuated at this point. I think it's just being stated out loud that, uh, uh, Paulie and this robot are having unnatural relations.
Mike00:40:31Absolutely.
Sonny00:40:32And, and, uh, and there's, and Carl Weathers who, uh, who plays Apollo Creed. Carl Weathers, Apollo Creed is watching all of this happen and Carl Weathers plays it with kind of a, like, so, uh, anyway, rock, what about, and it's, it's the perfect, it's like, it has just the absolute perfect comic timing. It is, uh, it is, it is this, it's a, it's a story of modern decadence and perversion that plays out in a, in a, in a two minute stretch that could not possibly have been any funnier or, or better done.
Mike00:41:07And there's the great, there's the great callback about like, uh, 40 minutes later where the robot is like hectoring Paulie about like, make sure you, you know, you packed, have you packed everything? I mean, there's like, there's a, everything about that is so ridiculous. The robot is so ridiculous and yet like Burt Young is so, is so great in this. I mean, he's so, he plays the comic beats and moments so perfectly and I, I just can't help but, but love it and, and despite it being ridiculous.
Sonny00:41:38He's, he is great. He's great. The, uh, so I don't know if you, so when I was a kid, I remember seeing that robot and thinking, man, this is awesome. I wish I had a robot like that, who could do all of who could like bring me things and would do the dishes. Like, I can't believe this technology is not in every household yet. It wasn't until years later that I realized that this was all nonsense that, you know, like we still don't have robots who can do what this, what this movie promised. It's artificial intelligence or whatever.
Mike00:42:09I mean, he basically like pulls out this like artificial intelligent, artificially intelligent, like robot to like, uh, which, which by the way has a phone. I mean, I mean, there is some, there is some, you know, Rocky four saw the future of it. He's a phone. He plays music. Um, you know, you can change the voice, um, you know, it's customizable.
Sonny00:42:29The phone thing is very funny too, because it's like, it's a corded phone. He pulls it up. It's a, it's a, it's a, he pulls out this corded phone and I'm just like, where? Where is the cord going into the robot? Cause it's not, you know, this is like, I guess maybe it's like a hand, maybe it's tethered to like a, one of the, you know, handless or I'm sorry, one of the cordless headset
Mike00:42:53things. Maybe because, because remember the maid comes out and says, uh, you know, Mr. Creed is on the phone for you. And, and he's like, I'll take it out here. Like, like this is just a, uh, you know, oh, well, you know, now I've got this robot where I can, um, take phone calls from my house outside. Here in the driveway. Um, can I say not to, not to get too serious about this, but to your point about how the first 45 minutes are actually a well-paced and all like almost interesting movie. I mean, I don't want to give it too much credit here and you're the, you're the movie critic, not me. Um, this is just something I observed as, as a viewer, which is, I mean, there are some interesting kind of thematic things going on in the way they. Present, particularly, uh, Rocky, but, uh, you know, a little bit as well, Apollo Creed in, in the way that, um, we see their life, their lives and their lifestyles, um, and the way it kind of sets them up for this showdown with, with the Soviet union. I mean, it's very, it's very much, you know, trying to set up these guys, not just as kind of old over the hill past their prime, but decadent, right. I mean a little decadent and they are. You know, there's the multiple sports cars, um, you know, in the stallions, uh, driveway, there's the, um, very, uh, fancy TV by the pool, uh, in Apollo Creed's backyard, um, where he's just like spending his, you know, leisure time by himself in this pool, throwing the ball with the dogs. I mean, I, I was getting that, that had me like in the mind of like Tony Soprano and like, and it looked very similar to like the, the, the Tony Soprano pool and backyard. And so there was, there was this kind of interesting, uh, I, I don't know if this is what Sylvester Stallone was going for, but I just thought I was reflecting on this and thinking, oh, there's maybe there's like a little more here. Um, it all falls apart in the end because then it just becomes, um, you know, bash and,
Sonny00:44:54uh, nobody's got to get back to basics though. This is, this is the contrast with the, the, the Rocky and Drago, you know, training techniques, right? Like, uh, Drago is the, the new Soviet man. He's, you know, I think, I think, I think it was, uh, I think it was Ben Dreyfus, uh, made a joke on Twitter about how like the technology that they use to, uh, to reshape Ivan Drago into a perfect killing machine is more advanced than anything else in the Soviet union by like 40 years. It's like, it's, it's like more advanced than their space program or their, their, uh, or any, you know, their computer program.
Mike00:45:30It's like, well, yes, exhibition boxing is, is, was the new space race in the late eighties.
Sonny00:45:37They've poured. Every single, uh, ruble into, um, seeing how hard Ivan Drago can punch, uh, which I, I
Mike00:45:46also love the way the numbers just keep going up on the little indicator of like, as he keeps punching, it's like, I don't even know what these numbers are. Like, I have no sense of, of, of, of if, is this impressive? I like, I know 2000 is more than a thousand, but like, what, what, what does that mean that he can now punch 2000, um, and shouldn't that, it's like, it's like Dragon Ball Z.
Sonny00:46:07It's like when they, his power level's 9,000. That's like, that's the Ivan Drago moment.
Mike00:46:14Shouldn't Rocky's head like come clean off of his shoulders with like one jab from, from Ivan Drago if he's like punching that hard. But I don't know. I mean, look, these are just silly questions by a silly person who's, you know, not, not take, not taken in by the real message of the movie, Sonny, which is USA over the commies. By the end, even the Russians are chanting Rocky's name. It's a, it's, you know. It is, you know, presages the end of the cold war. It's a beautiful thing. It's a great movie.
Sonny00:46:43USA. Number one, number one, number one is that I think that's the only thing we really need to take away from Rocky four USA. Number one, you know, there is a director Scott. I actually haven't seen it. They released it last year in theaters and then it's, it's, it's available for rental. I didn't rent it because I, I it's free on Netflix and why would I pay money for something? I can watch an inferior movie. A version of on now, apparently the, the, the director's cut is better, but I am sad to say reportedly there are no, there's no robot, right?
Mike00:47:15He cut out the robot and didn't he cut out a lot of, uh, ex-girlfriend Bridget Nielsen's scenes. Um, she's kind of, she's like, that's such a weird, I mean, I guess like it's, I just explained it. He, she was his girlfriend at the time. So that's why she's in the movie. But like, she literally serves no purpose, uh, in the movie, except as like the voice of Ivan Drago.
Sonny00:47:37Well, no. No, that's the thing. She gets to be the mouthpiece, right? Because he's, his whole thing is he's like the silent killing. He's a robot.
Mike00:47:43He's a robot, right?
Sonny00:47:44I mean, he is a robot. Yeah. He's a robot. There's one robot left in this movie. It's Ivan Drago, uh, killing, killing robot, killing robot. No, I, it's funny. So I watched, I, I, I did, I was going to rewatch this anyway, because I wanted to watch it before watching Creed two, which I'm watching before watching Creed three, uh, for, for reviewing. Um, and, uh, I will say that like. Well, we'll talk about this. Let's save this for the boat. We'll save this for the bonus. We're going to talk about Creed and Rocky movies in the bonus episodes.
Mike00:48:14Okay.
Sonny00:48:14Um, so save it for that.
Mike00:48:16The other thing, the other comment I had before, uh, before we wrap up here is, I mean, this is a very, um, this is a very memeable movie. I mean, and this, maybe this goes into the whole, like it's better in pieces than, than as a whole. I mean, but just like, obviously the big meme is that, you know, if he dies, he dies, which is like actually entered, you know, but I mean, this, just all these like little moments that I thought it is very much like a great piecemeal movie. It's like a great, it's got all these great lines and all of these kinds of great moments. Um, and you know, combine that with the montage thing. I mean, it's, it just feels very, um, MTV, you know, feels very like, like fast and like, uh, we got to keep up. Rocky's got to keep up with the MTV generation.
Sonny00:49:04Well, it really is. It really is perfectly made for cable TV. I mean, it, it is like, it is, it's, it's fast. Again, it's fascinating to watch from start to finish because as you're watching it, you're like, holy shit, holy shit, another montage here. And then you realize that all of these are structured in a way that basically allows you to put a commercial break in every, every seven minutes or so you put a commercial break in every seven to 12 minutes. Um, and it breaks up the whole thing and it doesn't, it doesn't feel, you know, once the commercial break happens, you flip away for a little bit, you come back and soon he's fighting. He's fighting. Rocky, it's Rocky and Ivan Drago at the, uh, on Christmas day, um, uh, against, uh, what in front of the eyes of the world. Again, it's, it's, it is like, it is a movie that is perfectly designed for cable TV. There's a reason that this movie and like all of the Rocky movies to a certain extent, but this one in particular, I think became, um, such a go-to on the various Turner, uh, Turner cable networks because like you could, you could literally turn this movie on at any, at any moment and watch a discreet chunk of the film. And then it goes to commercial break and you're like, all right, I got it. I got it. That's it. They're like sketch.
Mike00:50:15They're like sketches. You know, it's like the sketches of an idea rather than like a, yeah, no, I totally agree. I totally agree. But by the way, go ahead, go ahead.
Sonny00:50:24No, go. I'm sorry.
Mike00:50:25No, I was, I was going to kind of go in this different direction. One more thought that occurred to me. And then I did a little research and figured it out. So like when they, when Rocky goes to Russia, which that's another thing that makes no sense to me in the movie, which is like, he basically makes this big goodbye to, to his family. And he takes Polly and, and Duke and, and goes to Russia like weeks beforehand, I guess, to train. And the thing I kept thinking is when they get to this little cabin where he at, where he's at in the KGB is like watching him or whatever. Like I've seen plenty of movies. It looks nothing like Russia. Like, like it's like, they're passing it off, trying to pass it off as like rural, like in Siberia, or whatever. And I looked it up and it's like Wyoming, which is exactly what it looks like. They filmed it in Wyoming.
Sonny00:51:13It looks like, it looks like pale rider. It looks like, it looks like Clint Eastwood. Yes. Yeah. It's like pale rider.
Mike00:51:19I've seen so many Westerns, you know, with winter scenes and arcs. So it's like, Oh, that that's where this is. So.
Sonny00:51:26As I was watching the movie too, there's, there's a scene, there's a scene where a Russian, a Russian is like trying to plow his snow. Where, but not like plow, like not like plow, like in a, in a truck trying to clear off a road to like, you know, make it passable for people to drive. These people don't have cars. It's like, he's like, it's like, he's plowing, like he's plowing a field. Like he's, he's literally like driving his plow through the snow to do. God only knows what it's. It was a very weird, but I was like, what is he doing? And the reason that this is so key is because Rocky runs over and helps the guy turn his plow right side up, showing that, you know, we're all just, we're people separated by nationalities, but we're all people underneath. We got to help each other.
Mike00:52:14Yep. And also bringing Rocky back to his, you know, working class training roots. I mean, that's the other, the other aspect. Remember, he's like a loading the wood and all this stuff. And, but no, that, that was bizarre. It's like, it's like they were, he was doing, he was doing his, you know, Politburo mandated plowing in the middle of December. It made, absolutely no sense.
Sonny00:52:40There's a funny thing. And in all of these movies where Rocky has to like get back to basics and like he gets back to basics every time. It's like he never, it's not like he's ever done any real, you know, like computer aided trading or anything. He's just like, all right, we got to get back to basics. Let's go.
Mike00:52:58No, but he's, he's, he's mentally kind of gotten away from, you know, you know, downing cups of egg yolks and, you know, and, and, and punching, you know, meat in the slaughterhouse. Right. Like in this movie, you know, he's got this beautiful house and he's, you know, got all these do hickeys and the robot and the cars and all that stuff. So he's got, you know, he's got to get back to his roots, Sonny.
Sonny00:53:23Yeah. All right. All right. That's, I mean, that's, you know, Rocky four sells itself. You don't need us to convince you to watch her, not watch Rocky four, but I would, I would encourage anyone who has not sat down and actually like watched it from beginning to end in, in recent times to do that. Just see what you see, what you make of it. It's on Netflix.
Mike00:53:43Go do it.
Sonny00:53:44Something else. It's on Netflix. I think it's on prime video too. So if you may even be on paramount, it's all over the place. Rocky four is not hard to find if you have streaming of any sort. So check it out. All right. Anything else we got? You get any more thoughts before we.
Mike00:54:02No, no, It was, you know, it's I,
Sonny00:54:07two man show. It's, it's hard. It is hard. You know, we don't, we need it. We need a third person to bounce off of. This is one thing I've always, I've always believed very strongly with the shows that it's at its best when we have three people. But I think this will, I think this was entertaining for me anyway, because I got to talk about Rocky four and it's endless number of montages.
Mike00:54:26Exactly. It was, it was just an exhibition, Sonny. It was just an exhibition.
Sonny00:54:32All right. That's it for this week's show. Make sure you check us out on Patreon. We're at sub beacon, dot com. We're going to have a, we're going to talk about, uh, Creed and Rocky and all sorts of stuff, uh, in the bonus, uh, episode. That'll be good time. Um, but yeah, go to T public and buy it by t-shirt or something. I don't know. All right. Uh, see, see you guys then. What, uh, what else is going on? Uh, Mike, do you, do you have any big plans for, uh, home renovation products, projects?
Mike00:55:07No, not at the moment, but we did just have, um, we just changed, uh, uh, house cleaners. Um, we've had, um, and we've had some people come into our house, you know, maybe like a couple of times a month for a long time to clean our house. And, and we, we changed, uh, and it's a little bit more, uh, money, but like we just had it done. And like our house has never been cleaner. And you just realize like how much like kids, especially, just it's just like this level of grime that builds up and it's disgusting. And like kids are disgusting and it's, you know, so it's been nice. Um, it's going to last for like another six hours before it's like completely dirty again. But you know, it's, it's, it's a nice little thing. It's nice to luxuriate in the, uh, in the cleanliness for a little bit.
Sonny00:55:56Yeah. The accumulation of filth that comes with children is a real, is a real problem. I mean, it's not just like the dirt they track in or the, the, the, you know, the endless, the amounts of laundry or dishes, et cetera. Um, but like any glass surface.
Mike00:56:14Oh,
Sonny00:56:15any glass surface just is covered in filth,
Mike00:56:18fingerprints and like applesauce residue. And, but here's the other thing.
Sonny00:56:23Do you mouth prints?
Mike00:56:25No mouth of, of course,
Sonny00:56:26for some reason it's their mouth on it. Why would you do that?
Mike00:56:29Nobody asked you to do that. What, uh, do, do, are your kids like little hoarders as well? Because like, like we just find these collections of like rocks and sticks. Like stashed away in various places. I'm like, what, what is, what were you going to do with gems?
Sonny00:56:43Gems, little rocks,
Mike00:56:45jewels,
Sonny00:56:46kind of smooth.
Mike00:56:47Yes.
Sonny00:56:47Little rocks that are kind of smooth are like the most precious material a child can have. As best as I can understand there, there, there's no, I don't know what the exchange rate is on those things, but the, uh, the in, in kid money, it is, uh, hard to beat a pile of small, smooth rocks. It's why a rock tumbler is a really great investment because they can, you know, generate their own smog style hordes of, of gold.
Mike00:57:16Yeah. I'm rocks. I'm just worried about the, uh, about the small, smooth rock bubble, you know, popping on one of these days. And, and where are my kids going to be?
Sonny00:57:25Nah, I'm sure it'll be fine.
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