Guest00:00:00The success of a luxury cruise mainly depends on you. I don't want to hear anybody saying no. It's always yes, sir, yes, ma'am. I command you enjoy the moment. - No. - No? - No. - What? - You say no to me? - No, no. - So it's yes? - Yes, no. - Yes? - Yes! The sails. Do you think it's possible to wash them? I don't think that's possible, ma'am, because this is a motorized vessel. - Yeah. - So we don't have any sails. It was sails. Yes. Well, then, in that case, we will clean the sails. - Yes. - Of course.
?00:01:00Sub-Beacon
Sonny00:01:04Welcome back to The Sub-Beacon. I'm Sonny Bunch, one of your hosts. We got one more host here, Jonathan V. Last. We got big news coming next week. We're not gonna... We can't say just yet. - We don't want to blow up anybody's spot. - Can't tell people. But we've got... You know, there's been much speculation. There's been much speculation, you know. A lot of people barking up the wrong tree on this. I'm... I'm excited for you guys to see who we got coming in. Uh, but, you know, I don't wanna... I can't spoil it yet. JVL, how are you doing? I hear you have a vid.
JVL00:01:40Yeah, I got Rona for the second time in seven months. You know, I did my big trip. I traveled in a bunch of airplanes and was in giant crowded theaters and I shook hands with like 400 people and that was fine. I came home. Boom.
Sonny00:01:59Did you go to a movie theater? Did you go see Tenet in IMAX? Is that what did it? Is that what got you?
JVL00:02:05Is that back out in IMAX? -No. -They do that?
Sonny00:02:08No, I'm joking. I'm joking about the time when everyone thought that going... I'm joking about the time everyone thought Christopher Nolan was trying to kill people by sending him to theaters. Remember that?
JVL00:02:19Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was probably 'cause he was working on a movie about a pandemic. And so to do that, he had to create an actual movie.
Sonny00:02:28-It was an actual pandemic. -We had to infect the world. I mean, that's the only reasonable thing.
JVL00:02:34All right. So I... Let's make this a little JVL therapy session. -Ooh. Okay. -Can you put aside your on-show demeanor and your ironic detachment and have an actual serious conversation with me?
Sonny00:02:55-Could you do that? -No. Probably not, but go on.
JVL00:02:58So this interminable basketball season is slowly coming to an end.
Sonny00:03:05-Two games left. -Yeah. How's that working out for you?
JVL00:03:08Last week, my team scored four points.
Sonny00:03:16-Four points. -How many points did the opposing team score?
JVL00:03:2026. They could have scored 86. But it's important to understand that our four points came from two free throws, not being shot as a pair, but across separate multiple trips to the line, -and a single field goal. -Two of six? Two of eight? I think we were actually only two of six, which for us is a career best day. Typically, my team shoots about 9% from the line, so two of six is amazing.
Sonny00:03:50We need to get NBA Twitter on this to break down the stat lines here.
JVL00:03:55So... We go one for Saturday from the field. -One for Saturday. -I don't know what that means. It means that the game was on a Saturday, and we made one of all the shots we took from the field. And after the game... And the other team was not like... Believe me, if the other team had wanted to make this 82-0, they could have done that. They weren't, you know... Nice coaches, they were not trying to do anything after the game. I mean, I don't know. One girl crying, another girl was like, "Why am I even here? I don't like this." And so I sent a sternly worded email to the parents and the woman who is the organizer of this CYO team. And I said that in the immortal words of Emmett Smith, "We got debacled." But it's important to understand that while teams can win or lose games, scoring four points is an organizational failure, not a team failure. And that when you have this team, which I don't know if I've told you this before, but I was shanghaied into this by the woman who...
Sonny00:05:19Yes. I don't know if you told me on the air.
JVL00:05:22So the woman who organized this, my team exists. Solely to have kept the kids who aren't good at basketball off of her daughter's team. Because in CYO rules, they have rules about equal playing time for everybody. And her daughter is a good basketball player, and so we have an A team and a B team. The A team is her daughter's travel team. And then the B team is, like, a bunch of the kids who actually go to the school. And this should... As I've now seen with all the teams in the league, the teams all have somewhere between 12 and 16 kids on them. And it's a mix of skills. And they, you know, like, they just rotate people in and out. And instead, her team has, like, nine or ten kids, all of whom play travel basketball. And my team has six kids, functionally, because I have one kid who refuses to play because she cries all the time if I ask her to play. None of them have played basketball. And the idea... You know, this woman's A-team is undefeated. They run around beating everybody by 50. And she's the kind of coach who runs up the score on people because she's a fucking biatch. And anyway, and so her, like, "Oh, these girls won't have a season," was not true. These girls would have had a season on her team, but she would have had to play them. And she really didn't, you know, like, her daughter is a future WNBA star or some fucking thing.
Sonny00:06:50She'll make $40,000 a year and get kidnapped by Russia. So you had not explained it to me this way. You had explained it to me in the earnest way that you thought that this was, if it wasn't for you taking this team on that, like, the whole grade level just wouldn't have a team, basically.
JVL00:07:10And it turns out that was untrue. That is how it was sold to me. And instead, what would have happened was instead of having two teams, which I did not know there were going to be, there would have been only one team, and that one team would have had enough kids on it. To actually, like, compete at a realistic level and said, you know, like, my team has, you know, six, most games, we have five kids show up, you know, so we don't have subs, we have never had a practice with more than four kids showing up to practice, so it is impossible to practice, like, offenses or defenses or anything like that because you only have four kids, or most of the time, most of the practice is three kids, right? And so I sent him a strongly worded email and said, you know, this four-point debacle. This debacle is on all of the adults who set these kids up for failure. It is on the organizer of this league, it is on the coach, me, and it is on you, the parents, for not taking your kids to all of the practices. Because when you have three kids showing up to practice twice a week, that's what's going to happen. I got no response from anybody.
Sonny00:08:22Question.
JVL00:08:23Yeah.
Sonny00:08:24Was the woman who screwed you on this email list, was she part of this?
JVL00:08:33Uh-huh.
Sonny00:08:36Okay. And nobody responded. Well, that doesn't surprise me. That doesn't surprise me. Because, I mean, what is anybody going to say to that? I mean, I just would, I would, I mean, there's nothing you can do about it at this point. You got played.
JVL00:08:54I have coronavirus, so I'm not coaching this Sunday. So, I have one more game to coach. And then I'm fucking done with this shit. I hate it so much. Sonny, I can't even tell you how viscerally angry I get at the end of every practice and every game.
Sonny00:09:11I really. I feel you. I feel you. No, I mean, I, like, and you don't even have a kid on this team. It's not like you're, you're. No kid on this team. Coaching one of your kids. You're, you're just, you're, you were just, you stepped up. You were asked to step up and you did. And somebody took advantage of you. Yes. Yes. I would, my only, my only concern on your end is I would make sure that this woman is not, like, uh, Carmela Soprano type.
JVL00:09:42I think she's Irish.
Sonny00:09:45I would make sure she's not a departed type.
JVL00:09:47I think she's, I think she's Irish. I don't think, up here we don't have Irish mobs. That's up in Boston. We're a Boston family. Boston families maybe have Irish mobs. All right. Irish people in New Jersey don't scare me. You know, maybe she's got an uncle who's a cop or something.
Sonny00:10:00Well, maybe she's got an uncle in the IRA. I mean, I don't know. It's, it's possible. Uh, but the, you know, I, I would just, you know, look, you live in a dangerous place now. You live in a, you live in New Jersey. There's, there are, there are elements that, you know, I think we all know are, shall we say seedy? Seedy elements that are connected to crime. Crime syndicates and various terrorist organizations. Familial associations.
JVL00:10:27Familial associations that, uh, have their own, their own independent businesses. As I like to think of it. People who are entrepreneurs in waste management and, uh, and the restaurant sector.
Sonny00:10:43All I'm saying is you, you, you wanna, you wanna, you just wanna be careful. You wanna be, you don't wanna, you, you're almost done with this thing. You're almost out of it. And the lesson here. And. I, I, you're, you're older than me. I, I don't think you need to hear this from me necessarily, but the lesson here is never try to help anyone. Yes. Never help anyone. Never, never, never volunteer for something that you don't have. I mean, look, I'm, I'm the idiot who has signed my, my son up again for soccer, even though he, he hated it and did not care for it at all, but he's gonna play with one of his friends this year in the next, in the next round of soccer. One of his friends from school is on it. So we think it might, we think it might be better, you know, the two of them. Getting out there playing together and there's a 100% chance I can, I've already seen it. I've foreseen it with my, my sight beyond sight. I pulled out my Lion-O sword and I could see it all happening right in front of me. There won't be a coach again for this team. There won't be a coach. And I will say after the second email goes out that says, we gotta have a coach on this team. I'm gonna, I'm gonna sign. I'm gonna be like, fine, I'll do it. I'll do it. I gotta go. I'm gonna get a backup guy for a couple of weeks this, this spring, but I'll do it. I will, I will be the coach, even though I hated it and was miserable. And I just know, I know that's what I know. That's exactly what's going to happen. But that's like a, that is a parental obligation to, to my child. That is not like a, I'm not doing it to help out the school, I guess. I thought this was like a school league.
JVL00:12:20CYO. So it's parish. I don't know what that is at schools. It's, it's your church and the, the other, the other bias this reinforces in me is that, uh, and I've seen this with flash, the parents who are the most out of control are the parents whose kids are like medium good, right? So like this woman and her, her daughter who is like at the CYO level, like a good player at the CYO, like if this girl is able to make a varsity team as a junior or senior in high school, uh, it will probably. Be a reach for her, but, but good for her. Like, this is not a girl who's going to play at the division three level even. Right. And, and those, those parents, the parents whose kids are like barely, you know, not quite even division three level athletes. Those are the ones who are the most insane at kids sports. And I don't understand it. It makes no sense to me, but, uh, I fucking, oh, I hate it so much.
Sonny00:13:21Yeah. I hate it. I feel you. Yeah. Have you had to play her team? Did you guys, did you guys play? No, no.
JVL00:13:27We just, we're on the same, we're on the same, we're the same school. So we do not play each other in the league. Gotcha. But, uh.
Sonny00:13:34Well, do the other schools have two, two teams per school or is it?
JVL00:13:39No.
Sonny00:13:41So your, your school is the only school.
JVL00:13:43I think one or two, I think one or two of them, I believe one or two of them have two teams, but most of them do not. Most of them have a single team and the single team is large. Because supporting two teams, like you really need a minimum of 10 to 12 players. You really need a minimum of 12 players because who knows who's showing up to practice.
Sonny00:14:02You need 12 players to run, to run a basketball team. I don't know a lot about basketball.
JVL00:14:07At, at practices, you have to be able to have five on five. You have to be able to put, we're going to practice the zone today. And so you guys are on offense and you guys are on defense. Yeah. Anyway, it's, and it's these fucking people.
Sonny00:14:21How are you? When you run a practice, do you? Like pretend to be the entire other team and like make them, you know, like, all right, you're going to run a zone and I'm going to dribble. I like, how does that even work?
JVL00:14:33No, I mean, you know, like we had, we had practice this week where we had three kids show up and our priest was wandering past, he was wandering past, he was wandering through the hallway and I called him in and I said, Hey father, come on in here and, uh, shoot free throws against the girls. And so I, you know, I had the girls line up. They each got two. Two shots. Then he got two shots and first side to 10, one and the, you know, the loser had to like do pushups or something. And uh, that's, that's the level of practice that I moved.
Sonny00:15:06Did the priest want 10 to two?
JVL00:15:09He won one and lost one, one, one and lost one.
Sonny00:15:12Did he lose one on purpose?
JVL00:15:14Probably. No, they, they shot like 50% from the line for, for one, one time through, which is something that never happens. Uh, anyway, so they did shack numbers.
Sonny00:15:26They did.
JVL00:15:28And it was amazing. Shack. Everyone. Everyone shared. Everyone. They were, they were going crazy. Uh, what have you been up to, man? What's going on?
Sonny00:15:37I don't know, man. Um, I'm fine except, uh, it's, it's time for the annual ice storm in Dallas. It's been, it's the annual ice storm this week. So I don't know. So I don't know if anybody, I don't know if anybody knows. I I've, I'm sure I've complained about this on the show before, but in Dallas, the weather's
JVL00:15:57generally pretty good in winter.
Sonny00:15:59Pretty good. It's like, it's, it's like a balmy 40 degrees for most of the time. You gets down to the thirties, you know, during the Arctic cyclone bomb or whatever, it got down to the twenties. It was pretty cold, but like most of the time it's fine. It's in the, you know, 39 to 50 range for most of the winter, but one week, one week, every winter we get an ice storm. It's not always the same week, different weeks. It doesn't, it doesn't come, you know with any, any sort of schedule to it. And this is that week and it's been miserable because the schools have been, all the schools are closed because you, you know, it's again, it's not snow. It's not, it's not a snow storm. It doesn't snow.
JVL00:16:42What happens is it rain and then freeze or does it come down?
Sonny00:16:45It's not even freezing. It's not even, it's not even freezing rain. It's like tiny little hail pellets. It's like tiny little tiny. It's like, it's like you went outside and you had like Dippin dots that are half the size of regular Dippin dots, but they're just ice and they're everywhere. And it's, it's genuinely like, I would say that freezing rain is worse, but only if you actually have to be out in freezing rain. Like I would rather just have it freezing rain and then stop and you know, it's, it's icy out and then it, it kind of warms up and goes away. Um, it's, it's just, it's a nightmare. Uh, because it's not just a nightmare because the kids are home from school. That sucks. But whatever, like it's a nightmare because it's not like you can go out and play in the ice. Right. It's not like you, you don't go out and you build an ice man.
JVL00:17:37How many days are schools canceled for? Was it just the one? How many days does school get canceled for? Is it just the one until everybody salts everything or is it like all week? There's no salt.
Sonny00:17:49There's no, we don't have plows going around. Getting the ice off the road, putting down treatments because of the way it works is like it. When we get our, when we get our storm, what happens is it comes in, it, everything gets iced up and then a day later it's usually like 50 degrees and the sun's out and like, it's all gone. It's amazing. It's actually like shocking. It's actually kind of shocking. Um, but, uh, this has been, this has been a very annoying one because it's just been kind of like three straight days of like it, it ices for half the day. Half the day. And then the rest of the day it's 30 degrees and there's no, it's cloud cover everywhere. There's no sun. So nothing is melting really. Uh, so schools have been closed since, well, uh, Tuesday. So Tuesday, Wednesday, they're going to be closing again tomorrow. It's Thursday. Uh, and then I would Friday, right? I would guess Friday is probably not going to be open either unless something really miraculous happens. Cause it's supposed to, again, it's supposed to like ice on Thursday, supposed to get more ice, more ice, more snow.
JVL00:18:52How much advance warning do you get? Is it one of these things where, you know, two or three days out, Hey, it looks like this one's the ice storm and everybody runs out to buy toilet paper and milk or is it just like you wake up like, Oh, it's here.
Sonny00:19:06There was a, there was, I, I, I mean I keep pretty close eye on the weather and the weather app, you know, my weather at my Apple weather app, uh, was like, you're gonna, there's going to be rain. There's going to be rain next week cause it was supposed to be in like the forties or fifties also. It was going to be right. And instead it's 30 and 30 and rain does not equal snow in Dallas, Texas equals ice storm. So that's been, it's just been, it's been, it's been real miserable. It's been real miserable again. It's not like, it's not just having the kids inside all the time though. That sucks. It's not just having to do all this while trying to also work, which, you know, tons of fun, tons of fun having the kids around and trying to work. Um, it's, it's the fact that like when we go outside. Yeah. It's a, it is a icy death rank out there. Like I, I, I went out there or do you have everything you need? Well, we didn't, oh, I, I haven't driven any, I'm not driving anywhere. I'm not like going to the store where I, I went grocery shopping on Sunday and it started on Monday. So we're, we're all set basically. Like we could, we could eat for another week, probably we'd run out of milk, uh, and eggs and bread, but we could eat other stuff. But, uh.
JVL00:20:23Does it kill fleas? Any fleas that are outside, do the ice kill them dead?
Sonny00:20:29The fleas are all dead. Although it's very funny when I go outside and like walk around, I can see all the, the rabbit droppings. The rabbits haven't, haven't died there. They're still, they're still running around and they, they're pooping right there on the ice. Um, uh, but, uh, no, it just, it sucks. And like I say, so when I go outside with the kids, I take them outside. You know, we're going to, I'm going to like, I have to take them outside because I need the cold to sap their will to live. Um, just a little bit. I need to take just, just the edge off of their desire to continue functioning, which makes them slightly more manageable. Um, but we went out this morning and like, well, I, I, yeah, I mean, I'm sure that would calm them right down to get them hopped up on goofballs. Uh, but the, uh, I went out, we went outside today and like the, you know, the, the road is again, it's just a sheet of ice. Like anybody who drives in. This is an idiot. Um, unless you've got like four wheel, big truck tire or whatever, like it's, it's insane. Um, but like the, the roads, the roads, the sheet of ice, and we did a little bit of sledding like on, you know, the tops of Tupperware lids, cause we don't have sleds here. Cause why would, why would we have sleds in Texas? We actually left our sleds in Virginia, in Virginia. We just like left them in the house. We were like, next family can have these sleds. It's fine with us. Cause we were like, why would we need them? And frankly, we don't except for this one week a year. Uh, you know, we were, we were on the roads and, and I like, I was eventually after like two minutes of this, I was like, we gotta get off the road. We got it. I, I have almost fallen like six times. Like I'm gonna, I'm gonna hurt myself. You're gonna hurt yourself. I, we gotta get off the road. So we went in, we went in, we went and got off on like the side of our, you know, like off the road on the, on the, on the grassy area. And one of my kids sat down on the like little, you know, the little Tupperware, the giant Tupperware lid. Right. It just like sitting there on the grass slid off into the road and all the way down the hill again. And I was like, God damn it. God damn it. This is, this is unacceptable. So we went inside after that. Uh, and I, I just, uh, sat down and, and started to, to sob into my coffee. Um, but, uh, no, other than that, it's been great. It's been just wonderful.
JVL00:22:41Just, uh, you know, but the good news is you'll then have a weekend to recover with your kids at home again. It's gonna be awesome. Yay. Yeah.
Sonny00:22:48I mean, I, there, there's no, there's no chance there. There, there's no chance they're going to school on Friday. I just, I can, I already know.
JVL00:22:56No, no. Make your peace with it. Uh, anyway, make your peace with it. I, you know, so I just had some big news. Go big news.
Sonny00:23:04What's your news? Did you hear about Netflix?
JVL00:23:07What about it?
Sonny00:23:09Netflix cracking down on the password sharing. Oh no, net Netflix has no more password sharing. They, they're, they're setting it up so that you have to check in with your home IP address once every 30 days. If you don't do that, it's not going to work. It's not going to work anymore.
JVL00:23:25No.
Sonny00:23:26Well, that's not going to people.
JVL00:23:29What, what, what do we think about this?
Sonny00:23:33Um, I, I, I just think the whole thing is very funny because Netflix, Netflix's entire model is based on, um, is based on two things, which is one, them not paying very much money for lots and lots of content very early, which got people to sign up and got them. I'm used to getting like something for nothing essentially, um, in like something for nothing in the sense that like streaming was, you know, 10 bucks a month and it was, there were, they had tons and tons of stuff. Um, but then also literally something for nothing in the sense that lots of people were sharing passwords and you know, and that, that was part of the, the appeal of it. And they did, you know, they were always very much into like, oh, people could share passwords. That's fine with us. It gets a bit blah. Uh, and now they're like, ah, we're going to crack down on that. And people are like, we're going back to piracy. And it's like, I, both of you fuckers deserve each other, both, both Netflix and the cheapskates deserve each other. I'm I, I hate all of them so much. Um, what is, I don't know what it means for the business. I don't think it's going to lead to, I don't think it's going to lead to a bunch of people quitting Netflix, but I also don't think it's going to lead to a bunch of people signing up.
JVL00:24:40I think it's just going to like, I think people will just, you know, so this is a move to try to prop up their ad tier, right? Cause their ad tier has not worked out. Uh, it, it seems to have underperformed pretty dramatically if I'm to believe our friends over at the angler, uh, and the entertainment strategy guy. Uh, and so you would think the people most likely to go to a low cost ad tier membership will be people who have just been kicked off of a password sharing arrangement and who don't want to pay full freight themselves.
Sonny00:25:16That would, that would be the theory I think.
JVL00:25:18Yeah. I mean, I have all sorts of technical questions like, I don't know if you watch, if you watch Netflix sometimes on your phone and sometimes on your home ISP, how does that work? Because I, I think your, your whatever IP address is different between the two. Right.
Sonny00:25:43Um, I mean, if you're streaming off wireless, it's going to be, or if you're streaming off of wifi, it's going to be different than streaming off of like. 5g or whatever.
JVL00:25:51Right. Right. But I'm saying like, if you are like on the subway or I, I dunno, I mean, whatever, I'm sure it's fine. Uh, these fuckers, they all deserve each other. Uh, as you say, it's almost like the triangle of sadness. Oh, look at the people who deserve each other.
Sonny00:26:11People who deserve it. Speaking of people who deserve each other triangle of sadness, it's one of the, uh, best picture nominated movies. Uh, this was nominated for best picture nominated for best picture triangle of sadness. Uh, are you serious? Del 100% serious, deadly serious.
?00:26:30Wow.
Sonny00:26:31That's why, that's why I wanted to watch it. I thought it would be, uh, you know, get some culture on this show, get some, get some culture. So, uh, this is, again, this directed by Ruben, what's that?
JVL00:26:43Do you want to do a big boy review?
Sonny00:26:45Do you want to do a big boy review?
JVL00:26:47I don't. Sorry. Okay. I'm barely, barely cognizant. Could you do the big boy for us?
Sonny00:26:52You are. Yeah. So, uh, the, so.
JVL00:26:55I'm fighting through here.
Sonny00:26:56I'm fighting through. Triangle of sadness directed by Ruben Ostlund, who is, uh, a, uh, Scandinavian of some, some sort, maybe German. I don't know. Um, director who most recently directed the square, which is, uh, was a Palm, Palm door at con, uh, winner. And this also won the Palm door at, at con, uh, triangle of sadness. Uh, it is. It is essentially a black satire comedy sort of thing. Um, uh, the movie opens with a, uh, a couple of influencer slash model types, young, young man and a young woman, um, uh, who are, uh, who are arguing with each other over gender roles and, and who should pay for what, uh, at a restaurant. And, you know, what, what is, what is how, how things are supposed to work in when gender roles have been flipped in this topsy turvy world of ours. Um, and then from there, that couple, uh, joins a bunch of other people, a Russian oligarch, uh, who deals in fertilizer, um, a, uh, a, uh, Danish or Dutch or something, uh, programmer, uh, who is very, who's mildly autistic and, uh, gets very excited when the beautiful women want to take a selfie with him, um, uh, a, a wealthy British. Uh, arms manufacturing couple, uh, a, anyway, a bunch, a bunch of rich people on this boat, a bunch of rich people on this boat. And they are, uh, they are being catered to by the crew of the ship who, uh, are given a rousing speech at the start of the cruise that you never say no, you always say yes. Because what happens if you always say yes at the end, money, money, money, money, money, money, money. That's why, that's what all, that's what makes everything go around and that is essentially, that is, that is the, the crux of the film in a, in a, I don't know, the crux in a nutshell is that, am I mixing metaphors here? Um, the, the, the film is about the, uh, uh, perverting, uh, the, the way money changes people and, and social situations and it's about class. It's a movie about class and class conflict. Um, the, the first 80 minutes or so take place on the cruise. Uh, Woody Harrelson plays the captain of this ship. He's a communist. He likes to, uh, recite, uh, the, the, one of the funnier scenes in the film involves the Russian, uh, Russian fertilizer capitalist arguing with the, uh, captain of the luxury American yacht. Um, and each of them are just reading, uh, quotes from various communists and capitalists at each other off their phones, uh, which is, they don't actually know them by heart. They don't know them by heart. They don't know them by heart. They're reading them off of their phones, which they had just Googled, which is how every single argument of this sort actually plays out in the real world. It's not people making reasoned arguments for each other. It's people tossing, uh, hackneyed quotes from Reagan and Marx and, uh, you know, whatever at each other in, in, in lieu of making an actual argument, um, which is very, very funny. And I like, I honestly feel like if this movie had ended at 80 minutes when the ship, uh, was sunk, I won't, I won't, I won't spoil how it gets sunk. Cause that's also kind of funny if you haven't seen it yet. Um, if this movie had ended at 80 minutes, I would like have, I would have strongly considered it for my top 10 list and like maybe in the top half of my top 10 list. Cause I, I, I've found this all very amusing. Um, the big set piece is like a 20 minute, uh, essentially vomit. And uh, uh, a, a, the, the, the captain's dinner takes place during a, uh, a rough ride on the high seas. And everybody starts vomiting all over the place and watching these wealthy jerks roll around in their own, uh, swill and vomit is very funny. It's just, it, it, like I, you, I will never, I will never not find human excretions of that sort funny. It's a little gross. What's that? It's a little bit gross, man.
JVL00:31:05It's very gross. It's like, I felt like I could smell the vomit almost, there's so much of it on screen.
Sonny00:31:10It's very gross. It's very, it's, it's intentionally very gross, but it's also very funny. I found it very funny anyway. Um. What's fun is the movie goes on for another, I don't know, 60 minutes after that. Um, in, in a, and the, the, the back half of the film again, makes the same points about the ways in which, uh, people with power use that power to exert influence over others in undue ways and, um, except now it's one of the, one of the crew members who is the only person she, you know, she's the only person who can light a fire who was the Filipino
JVL00:31:44maid in charge of the toilets.
Sonny00:31:47She, uh, she is the only person who can start a fire. She's the only person who can do any fishing, uh, and she is exerting her influence by demanding sex from the hot male model. Uh, and she is, you know, punishing the people who steal the pretzels. And I like, again, I get it. I get it.
JVL00:32:05She has a keen feel for, uh, interpersonal power dynamics.
Sonny00:32:11I get it. It's it's, it is again, resonant with the point. And there's some stuff that's funny on the island, but it just, it goes on too long. And I just, I didn't care. I didn't, I didn't care anymore. I had stopped caring at that point. Um, and it, it just wasn't funny enough to justify what essentially a restatement of the themes we had already seen. Um, so it ends up being like, I think I still think I, I, you know, still, uh, barely a thumbs up for me, but it, it is a much stronger movie if it is like 50% shorter. I think my, my two cents JVL, what'd you make of triangles?
JVL00:32:47What's that? And there is some tragedy wrapped up in it, which is that the woman who is the lead Charlby Dean is a, uh, a very beautiful actress from South Africa died shortly after, uh, after they wrapped, I guess. Right. She died in August. So before, before cam, but after they wrapped, uh, like in a total freak act, it looks like she was like bitten and got rabies basically, or something like that.
Sonny00:33:16Yeah. I, I, she got sepsis or something. She'd had a surgery years before and like something had ruptured and she got sepsis. So it, and that's very sad freak accident.
JVL00:33:27Yeah.
Sonny00:33:28Um, I mean, I feel like this is right up your alley. This is one of the reasons I wanted to watch it with you because it is, it is such a, it is such a searing takedown of the capitalist class it, uh, the deformities of capitalism.
JVL00:33:44Yeah, it is. I love movies that are searing takedowns of capitalism, like, uh, Snowpiercer and Parasite and the, I mean, we, I don't know, there's something about having a multimillion dollar movie be your vehicle for inditing capitalism that I feel like it almost invalidates the entire point. I don't think this, I don't think Triangle of Sadness really holds together just as a story or anything.
Sonny00:34:26I mean, it's, yeah, there are funny light on plot and, and characterization is light
JVL00:34:34on everything. And it, you know, it is, it has that sort of Zach Galifianakis between two ferns style of comedy. Which is like the uncomfortable comedy. Like, you know, just let everything linger 15 or 20 seconds too long to, to make it funnier. And there are parts of it, which are funny ish. I mean, not like laugh out loud funny, but like, I guess, droll, maybe there's not enough
Guest00:35:06of, but there's not enough of that.
JVL00:35:09I don't think there's enough of it. And like, uh, like uncut gems, you want every single person in the movie to die. Except for maybe the pirates, uh, and I don't know, man, like in a weird way, something like this makes me more capitalist. Like I see this sort of ham handed, unbelievably stupid critique of capitalism. I just think to myself, you know what? Fuck the commies too. Where's Bill Gates, you know? I dunno.
Sonny00:35:47I mean, I think that's, I think that's basically right. I mean, look, I am, uh, I am, uh, as, as capitalists as they come, I'm, I'm three cheers for capitalism as you know. Uh, uh, and I'm, I'm, you know, uh, I'm still sympathetic to some of the stuff that you see in this movie, some of the stuff it's critiquing some of the, uh, you know, the excesses of the, but I do think it's, I think it's a very funny, I think it's, I think it is, I think it's a, I think it's slightly subtler than you give it credit for. And I do, uh, I do really like the way it plays with, uh, how, how like dumb and meaningless some of the big fights and arguments that we have, um, are. So like, uh, for instance, the way it treats, uh, the, the, the two models, right. Uh, who we, who we meet at the beginning and the, the argument that they're having essentially over like who pays for dinner. Yes. You know, because he wants to be, he wants to be the kind of progressive guy. He's like, you know, look, you're, you're the one who's making the money. You should, you know, maybe be, be paying for this, this stuff. Like he does, but he doesn't, he also understands that he can't just come out and say that because then he makes it all about money, but also because he, he lowers his own value in her eyes. I mean, like there are there, there it is, it's, it's actually a very interesting look at the way. That people say they want power dynamics to change, but they don't actually want power dynamics to change.
JVL00:37:20That's, that's the stuff that I think is the most interesting and that works the most. And I think the places where the satire is sharpest is actually about the two of them. And the whole idea, it's more, much more social. It's about like the influencer stuff. I mean, my, my favorite, my favorite moment in the movie is when, uh, we are. We're on the boat. We're on this yacht and we are sitting at a lunch table with, uh, the model and her model boyfriend, and he's taking a picture of her about to eat. What looks like, you know, clams, casino or something like, you know, linguine with clams. And so they take a bunch of pictures with her like this and she looks through and they're like, great. We'll use this one for the Instagram. And this is when we meet the Russian, uh, fertilizer magnate who across, you know, very drolly says to her, so are you going to eat that? And she's like, what are you going to eat that? That's because she has pushed the plate of pasta where he goes, the plate of pasta, are you going to eat it? And she's, she's sort of very dismissively says, no, I'm, I'm gluten allergic or something. And that's kind of funny, right? You know, they go to all this to make it look like she's eating and that sort of stuff is, is fun, but they don't really lean into, they really do lean into the rich versus poor upstairs versus downstairs. They really hate the people who are in the top of the service industry. Yes. Right. I mean, it's the, in fact, it hates the top of service more than it hates the rich. I think. Um, it sees those people as class traders.
Sonny00:39:02Well, and they're, they're aspiring. They're like climbing, they're like climbers, right? This is, this is why, again, I thought it was very funny when, you know, she was like, you always say yes, because what do we get? We say yes. A big tip. We're doing this for money, money, money, money, money. I like I, that whole sequence was very, was very amusing to me.
JVL00:39:23I thought I, I, uh, you know, um, and there's, there's another bit at the captain's table where, and this, you never did any of the weekly standard cruises. I don't think. Did you know? No, no, no, no. Uh, where the, the passengers are coming up and talking to the captain and one of the rich women says, you know, I can't. I couldn't help, but notice that the sales, uh, were a very dingy gray. Is there, is there a way you could wash those? And he says, no, I, I can't because this is not a sailboat. It's a motorized yacht. We don't have sales and she's very insistent. I know I saw the sales, you know, and this is whole thing where eventually, you know, and the eventual answer is they have to tell this, this wealthy woman, uh, you know what? We will figure out a way to get those sales. Cleaned.
Sonny00:40:15And this is what all these fuckers on this, the standard cruises were like, you know, like, uh, well, I wanted to, so this is one thing I actually wanted to ask you. I was like, how, how close is, is that whole scene to your experience of, uh, the cruise? So like, I, I, again, I've not, I've never been on a proper cruise like this is the, is the captain's dinner a one time thing is that it's not, you don't have dinner with the captain. Every night. Is it just one? So I, how does that work?
JVL00:40:47I don't know how it is on a small boat like this. And in fact, I was a little confused with this. Do do cruises like this happen? Because this is essentially a giga giga yacht. It's not a, it is not a like Norwegian or Holland America size cruise ship.
Sonny00:41:10It's it's essentially like the yacht from tenant, right?
JVL00:41:13Right. And, uh, and so I don't know if, and these are just random people who are cruising on that. Is that a thing that you do to people basically like Airbnb on yachts like that? Maybe they do. I don't know. But unlike the big cruise ships, it's a, there is no catch like dinner and you know, we didn't have like oligarchs or anything we were, you know, arms magnates, we just had like lawyers and doctors. So we had what were essentially like upper, upper, upper, upper middle class. Or lower, lower upper class people. Right. So people who, you know, are making like, I don't know, from 200,000 to like $800,000 a year. Maybe. Right.
Sonny00:41:56You know, these are not, I mean, that's not the real rich. That's still, that's still upper class, but that's like the top three to 1% is like top,
JVL00:42:05top 10 to 5% or something. But you know, like we're not nobody who, who worked at a hedge fund would ever come on standard crews. Right. I mean, nobody who could afford their own yacht or, or had a private plane was going on one of these things. And uh, and yet these people were every bit as insufferable and class conscious as the characters on, on this. And uh, I, you know, my, my favorite story is, I'm sure I've told this before. We're having dinner, you know, it's like the winter, a winter cruise in the Caribbean or on this boat. It's a black tie night and I'm, it's like the middle of the Obama administration and I'm at this table full of wealthy, very, very old people who are all dressed in their finery and they are complaining about how under Barack Obama, things are worse than they have ever been in American history. And so I'm, you know, it's like, I don't, I do not particularly care for Barack Obama. I thought he was a bad president along many vectors. I'm. Was trying to interrogate this and said, really, this is because one of the things that I was genuinely interested in during the, the post, uh, financial crisis recovery, which, which people may not remember, but was like a really slow and anemic recovery, right? There was actually not enough stimulus and, uh, it took forever and like, just things didn't seem like they were working. And I was curious as to how that tracked with like, you know, late 1970s America, when things felt, felt like that. And, uh, but I was like, really worse than it's ever been. And they were like, yeah, ever in all of American history. I was like, so like you mean this things, things are worse than they were in the late seventies. They're like, oh, much, much worse than late seventies. Like the late seventies were pretty bad, right? When we had stagflation, violent crime spiked for the first time, American history, uh, people stood in line to get gasoline, this literal terrorist attacks all over all the time. They're like, oh, so much worse than that. Worse than the great depression, worse than the great depression. And I'm looking at it and these, the dinner that night was lobster Thermidor. I was like, you're you, you person, uh, are not, I'm sorry to say you're not very smart. You do not do anything that is particularly, you know, you did not invite, invent the best mouse trap ever. You're just a burger. You know, you are, you are somebody who found a profession and did well in it. And you are sitting here on a gigantic boat. In the middle of the Caribbean sea, in the middle of winter eating lobster Thermidor. And you're telling me that things are worse than they've been in American history. Are you fucking kidding me? You moron. And, uh, I dunno, I mean, there's just, there's a lot, it's, it's the weird, it's the sense to which everybody becomes entitled to what they have instead of grateful for what they have.
Sonny00:45:06Yeah.
JVL00:45:07You know, and that's a big part of it.
Sonny00:45:12I mean, I guess, I guess my, I guess my, my followup question to this then is that you didn't have anybody offered to buy you a Rolex cause you took a selfie with them. I did not. That was not an option on your, on your cruise.
JVL00:45:24I did not have that. Um, yeah, the whole, I mean, I, when I look at this, so the influencer stuff I think was interesting. I'll tell you another thing that I, so the movie actually doesn't open with Yaya in the model and the male model whose name I forget Carl maybe is his name or I dunno. Uh, the movie opens with a male model casting call and you have a bunch of skinny shirtless boys, uh, being interviewed by a very flamboyant gay man with a camera crew and it's all done as comedy sort of, except that the entire, and it's an extended sequence, it's like 10 minutes, I think of this. And I just thought to myself, none of this is as funny as Zoolander.
?00:46:15No.
JVL00:46:16Did you, did, did you have Zoolander in your mind? Because the truth is it was all like near enough to Zoolander, but just not as like, it was like a self imagine if Zoolander had been a serious critique of the male modeling industry.
Sonny00:46:30Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean it, I mean the whole point of the whole point of that sequence is to, is to set up again the, the themes of the rest of the movie, right? So like the signature part of the scene is when they're doing the Balenciaga versus the Zoolander versus H&M. Right? Right. Balenciaga, sad face. Sad, sad, sad, serious face. You know, you want, you want people to, to approach you, but not really approach you. You want to seem unapproachable and all right, now it's H&M, your clothes are very cheap, but you're so happy. You're so happy cause you, you got your cheap clothes on, you're with all your friends. Yeah. Balenciaga. And like, it's, it's funny. It's clever. Um, but no, you're right. I mean, it's not as, it's not as funny or as clever as, as a Zoolander. Yeah. Did you ever see the second, did you see Zoolander 2?
JVL00:47:09I don't think I did. Is it good?
Sonny00:47:12I don't think I did either. I don't think I did either. I know. I don't think I've seen it. Uh, which is, uh, I feel like is, is the sort of thing that if you had told me in like 2002 that there will be a sequel to Zoolander, this movie that you watch on DVD once every two weeks with your friends, uh, while you're getting drunk, uh, before you go out to bars to get more drunk. Um, uh, if you, if you had told me then that there would be a sequel to that movie that I just like, wouldn't watch, I never would have believed you, but came and went.
JVL00:47:40You know, the other. Uh, the other point of that opening sequence is reinforcing power dynamics because here's this guy who was just desperate to book this job, uh, and he goes in when he gets his call. Uh, he is treated very shabbily by them. Like they look at his portfolio and they say, is this you about the pictures? Like, well, obviously it's fucking him, right? This is why he's handed you his headshots. Um, and then they ask him if he slept with the photographer. On one of the shoots and he's like, yeah, yeah, I did. And so, you know, this, this guy's been pimped out before already, right? He's already fucked for work, which is what he eventually ends up doing at the end of the movie with the toilet maid who has now become the Randall flag of their little, uh, camp and, and then he then, you know, the minute he gets the chance to punch down, he's punching down, you know, so once he's on the boat and he's a guest. And he gets to complain about the help, then he's all about doing it. And I, again, I am in deep sympathy with all of these points, but to make it so heavy handed like that, I just like, I was like, come on, man, like you're not repping the brand very good here, Oosterland or whatever your director name, like, I dunno, it's gonna give commies a bad name. Like we're not that you, maybe we are. You want more subtle critiques. Maybe they are all day. Nat didact. I want, you know what? I want a critique that works within the context of telling us a story. This is like watching an episode of national affairs. No, not national affairs. What was the, the, the bad, the popular affairs, popular, the Nathan Robinson. No, you know what it is? It's like, it's that one current affairs is what I'm thinking of, but that was, that's too good. This is like watching, uh, an issue of Jacobin come to life. Yeah.
?00:49:42Yeah.
Sonny00:49:43That's about right. That's about right.
JVL00:49:46Right. Somebody, somebody bought the movie rights to an issue of Jacobin and was like, we're gonna make a movie out of this and like, come on, man. Yeah.
Sonny00:49:55Yeah. Uh, I know. Oh, Nathan Robinson. I was singing Nathan for you. Not Nathan. I was like, but Nathan Robinson is the like, yeah, current affairs, Manhattan affairs, rich, rich, rich, commie guy. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, no. I mean, the whole Jacobin come to life is about right. Um, again, I'm like, I am, I'm sympathetic to certain things here and I, I have always enjoyed class critiques more than, you know, like race or gender critiques. I, I find, I find class to be a more interesting thing, uh, lens through which to view all of this stuff. Um, and I liked, I definitely liked this more than you did. I, I'm, uh, I'm, I'm a little surprised I, I, you liked it as little. Yeah.
JVL00:50:41I didn't. You might like, well, you know, like I do like stories and there isn't much of a story.
Sonny00:50:47You like stories. You like plot. You want it. You want, you want, you know, you want a three act structure. You want beginning, middle and end, I very much do want something happens through, through it. You know, I, I forget.
JVL00:50:58Did we do that?
Sonny00:51:01Did we do the Fableman's?
JVL00:51:02Did we, I, I didn't, I wasn't, I didn't do the episode you guys did without me. Yeah. Um, the, uh, so I was. Watching, uh, over the last few days, the first Avengers movie with G money. And I am sorry, but that is a absolutely perfect movie. It is just in terms of act structure and juggling care. So eight care is eight different characters. Each of whom has a defined character arc where they all have motivations. And they start in one place and they have dramatic tension and they overcome something and they wind up eight of them, eight characters, some, some entire franchises don't get that, you know, eight characters, uh, worth of character development. And even the transitions from scene to scene are, it's, it is an amazing, amazing piece of screenwriting and, uh, in a weird way, I totally agree.
Sonny00:52:06I, it's, it is not, it is not the only Marvel film. I've watched more than once, but it is one of like two or three that I've watched more than once. Uh, because it really, it is like a perfect little movie.
JVL00:52:18I mean, it's, yeah, but, but it's because story, right. And this is, this is why, and this is why I bring it up because it is, it is like a master class in storytelling and, uh, I don't understand why a high toned. DG movie like triangle of sadness feels like it can completely disregard any of the obligations of story. And that bugs me. I think the answer is because they think they're on the right side of politics. And so when you're on the right side of politics, you don't need to bother with story. Story is something for the other people, right? Look how virtuous we are.
Sonny00:53:06Well, it's also, it's also a very European thing. The, it is. This, this is a, you know, uh, Antonioni ask is the wrong word here, but it's in that kind of vein where you don't, you don't need, you don't need something as bourgeois as plot or a story. It's a travelogue. We're, we're, we're, it's vignettes. We're looking at it's scenes, anatomies of scenes, um, the, uh, the, uh, again, the director, his previous film, the square was very similar, very similar in, in that it was a kind of snide takedown of a similar set of people, um, more centered on the art world, uh, kind of, uh, than, than just straight, you know, capitalists. But, uh, but it was, but it, it had this similarly, like not even really episodic quality, although it was episodic, but just kind of rambling and, um, not very plotty. I don't know. It's fun. You need plot.
JVL00:54:09I do.
Sonny00:54:10I do. All right.
JVL00:54:12All right. Sorry. We made it. I'm basically about to pass out. I'm sorry. I really, I strapped it on to get here today.
Sonny00:54:18It's good. It's good. Uh, all right. That's it for this week's show. Uh, again, our new week, the new era begins next week. We're, we're, we're gonna, we're gonna bring them in and it'll be great.
JVL00:54:29Um, thank you to all the people who, who came and sat in the chair over the last couple of months. Yes. Deeply grateful to all of them.
Sonny00:54:37Everyone who came in. Filled in and, and did it out of love of the show, which we are very grateful for. Um, so, uh, thank you. Thank you to everyone. Uh, it has been, it has been fun trying to figure this out. Um, but, uh, yeah, new, new era starts next week. Very exciting. Uh, and we'll, we'll see everybody then.
JVL00:55:00I like.
Sonny00:55:09We're going to have outtakes.
JVL00:55:11Uh, I don't know. Um, what, what should we do next week? Should we do the tennis documentary next week?
Sonny00:55:20Yeah. I thought that's what we were doing.
JVL00:55:22Yeah. Oh, good.
Sonny00:55:23I, do we have to, have you started watching it? I haven't even started watching it.
JVL00:55:27I haven't, but believe me, I'm going to have a lot of time over the next few days. So I will, I will happily do that. Um, fucking Djokovic. I don't know what to do about Djokovic. Cause I hate him so much. What about him?
Sonny00:55:42Well, you know, like. He's one of the, he's, he's, he is in the running for the goat now.
JVL00:55:47Yeah.
Sonny00:55:48Possible goat, possible goat status.
JVL00:55:51I just have a hard time. Well, we'll save it for next week, but I have a hard time with somebody who sort of lucks into timing of birth. I mean, this is, I don't know, like is Cal Ripken the, the goat? Is Cal Ripken the greatest shortstop? Shortstop ever because like you didn't get hurt. Probably not. Right.
Sonny00:56:15No, but I mean, but you, I, well, I mean the, the case for Ripken would be, I mean, I don't think Cal Ripken is the greatest shortstop ever, but the case for Ripken would be beyond just not getting hurt. Like he also won two MVPs and rookie of the year, won a world series. I mean like you, there's like, no, I know. But he, he, he revolution, he, he did revolutionize the position in the sense that he was the first like power hitting shortstop. It like became a, it's, that was like a thing after him, which, which it had not been before. It was also maybe, I don't know.
JVL00:56:48This is, you know, so this is, here is, here is at heart. I think there are like so many different ways to talk about the goat. And to my mind, the, the, the question about goat is on their best day, who is the best player to ever play. Right. And that's, that's a different question than like when you add up all of the hardware and sort things out and wait each tournament victory by what, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, and do the, the Evo points, did you see, I linked to this a few weeks ago, like this, a tennis nerd who did like top hundred players all time. Both genders, like all mixed together. Yeah. Uh, and like he did his own sabermetrics and stuff and it's really very smart. Um,
Sonny00:57:43was this the one where like Lendl was ahead of Sampras or something?
JVL00:57:46Yeah. Yeah.
Sonny00:57:48It was some, some ridiculous thing like that. Yeah, no, I, I saw that and I was like, all right, I can tell right now that this is just nonsense.
JVL00:57:53It's just, it's not enough, but that's, what's interesting about it. It's not nonsense. I think it's ultimately wrong, but that's like one of the other ways to do it. Right. Another way to do it is through like intense data, but you know, like on his best day, Sampras, you know, Sampras versus Lendl, both on the best day of their career. Sampras blows them off the court. Right. You know, six, three, six, three, six, three. And, uh, I think Djokovic's best day against Federer's best day. I don't think it's particularly close, you know, like Federer, like in that six year run of his, where you did like, I don't know what 36 final fours of 36. Yeah. Uh, semis at majors, like. I just don't think he's touchable, you know, but what do I know?
Sonny00:58:41Yeah, no, I, it's, it's always, it's an interesting question and it's so hard to look at guys over long stretches of time, especially in a sport like tennis. Like, I mean, like Bjorn Borg is playing a different game than Rafael Nadal is. Like they just play, they play, the game is played at a different speed. It's played at a different, uh, different intensity with different equipment. Like it just is, it's a different, it's, it's, it's a different sport, it's, it's like practically a different sport. Um, so I don't, I like, I, the, this is why I've always been essentially of the opinion that you have to look at, you know, I don't, I don't think the head to head question really works because like, all right, so like Jerry West, Jerry West, one of the greatest players of all time, I could he make an NBA team today?
JVL00:59:29No, no, not right now.
Sonny00:59:31I don't know. I don't know that he could. So like, I, you know, I, it's always, I like, it's a, it's, I, this is why I do think war the wins above replacement or equivalent and you know, whatever sport is a, is a, is a useful metric for the sort of like, um, theoretical thing though. I, I, I do, I do only think it is interesting as a theoretical thing. I think people use war to make like, uh, free agency decisions and stuff are just nuts.
JVL01:00:00Like, what do you, what do you do with, you know, I mean, tennis has different surfaces, right? Like how do you. Like, I'm sorry. You cannot argue that there is anybody else who could ever beat Rafa, Rafa Nadal on clay. Like he's, he's the best clay court player in the history of tennis. And number two is like 50 miles behind him. Like there is no, but then like, like court season is only a third of this. Like, you know, so what do you do with that? Yeah. How do you, how do you, how do you sort this out? All right. We'll talk about all this next week.
Sonny01:00:35I'm sure it's fine.
?01:00:37Thank you.
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