#119. Guy Ritchie Draft!
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This bonus episode is a straight-up Guy Ritchie filmography draft, with each host picking three films (Vic sneaks in a fourth) and arguing for their haul. JVL goes first and locks up Sherlock Holmes ("the best buddy cop movie since Lethal Weapon"), then closes with Aladdin ("the best of all the live-action Disney remakes") and King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, which he rates as one of his favorite movies of the last five years and praises for its dense, dialogue-free 12-minute exposition sequence; Vic, picking second, takes Snatch and The Gentlemen before spending his bonus pick on "The Hire," Guy Ritchie's Clive Owen/BMW web-short, which he jokingly grades as a Quadrant A-plus-plus-plus-plus (duration) and a piece-of-cake plot; Sonny grabs Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., and Wrath of Man to round out what all three agree is the strongest overall lineup. Before the draft gets going, the trio riffs for a while on the Black Adam trailer (JVL explaining the DC "Justice Society" lore and Pierce Brosnan's Dr. Fate) and needles Sonny over the Ms. Marvel premiere and his complaints about diverse representation in superhero media, plus a nostalgic detour into 90s TV-to-movie remakes like McHale's Navy and callbacks to Elizabeth Debicki's infamous Widows grade. The episode ends with Sonny declaring his own lineup the winner and asking listeners to vote in the comments.
From the show notes
Guy Ritchie, who looks weirdly like Charlie Hunnam in The Gentlemen in this photo, is a good director. So we had a Guy Ritchie draft! Fun show.
Full transcript
Vic00:00:00Hello and welcome to another bonus episode of the Sub-Beacon. I'm Victor Matus along with Jonathan Last and Sonny Bunch. Just remember the Sub-Beacon is now available through Patreon. Go to subbeacon.com, you'll easily find us. Obviously, you found us because this is an exclusive episode, but do tell your friends. So this week, we're talking more about Guy Ritchie. Last week, we discussed Wrath of Man and we were thinking of doing a draft. Before we got to that, did you want to discuss, I haven't seen it, but this Black Adam. Black Adam. So is that Adam and Eve or Atom?
JVL00:00:48Adam and Eve. What's that? Black Adam is a Captain Marvel in the Shazam sense. Captain Marvel villain. Oh, a villain. Yeah, he is the, he has all the exact same powers as Shazam.
Vic00:01:08Shazam's the one that we saw, that awful Shazam that we saw? You liked it.
Sonny00:01:13That was terrible, are you kidding me?
JVL00:01:15You liked it.
Sonny00:01:16The end was so ridiculous.
JVL00:01:17You laughed and you thought it was funny.
Vic00:01:19I laughed in absurdity like I can't believe I'm watching this.
JVL00:01:23But what's interesting to me is that they've decided they're going to, because they were able to get the rights, to do it. They are going to make Black Adam an anti-hero, I guess.
Sonny00:01:34It's Hancock. I guess. That trailer is Hancock. He's like, you know, heroes don't kill people. And he's like, watch this. And he throws the guy into the ocean, which is like literally something that happens in Hancock. He's like throws a villain like a million feet in the air.
JVL00:01:48But we're going to, not only is it a Black Adam movie, but it's a Hawkman movie. Well, so this is what I didn't. A Green Lantern movie. And I guess we're on alternate Earth.
Sonny00:01:56Well, now we got to watch it. Well, this is, so this is. This is my, this is what I didn't quite understand is if it's, if it's a, like, if it's like the Justice Society of America.
JVL00:02:07I think it's like Earth 2.
Sonny00:02:09Is it like Earth 2? So it's, so it's got, it's got Dr. Fate, who's played by Pierce Brosnan.
JVL00:02:17You know. You don't like Pierce Brosnan?
Vic00:02:19I love Pierce Brosnan. No, I don't like Dr. Fate.
JVL00:02:21When we were kids, Vic, there was always one, there was always one kid in the comic book nerd herd. Who was the, the nerd king and the nerd king would distinguish himself by preferring the Justice Society of America over the Justice League of America. I like Uncle Sam and the Adam because the Adam is also in this.
Vic00:02:43This is all DC.
JVL00:02:44Dr. Fate and the Spectre. They are better than the Flash and the Batman. You just, and this, this is, this is the 10 year old nerd version. Chris, who was listening. To this. Yes. I'm talking about drew Walco, uh, of you wouldn't like this band. You know, I, I, I, I get, you've never heard of this band because I, I've heard of it.
Vic00:03:10And it's like, right. And because everybody likes something, you have to like something else.
JVL00:03:15So I like, I am interested in what DC has been doing. I really liked the peacemaker. I really liked the Snyder cut of, uh, Batman versus Superman. Is that what we watched?
Sonny00:03:28Snyder cut of justice.
JVL00:03:28League and the Snyder cut of justice league.
Sonny00:03:31I, you know, I, well, you didn't watch the director's cut. Oh, I guess that's right.
JVL00:03:33So I, I liked the, I liked whatever version I saw of it more than, than my, and I look at this and I just think to myself, you gotta be fucking kidding me. This looks as bad as Ms. Marvel.
Vic00:03:44I've been hearing about that one too. And that's Marvel obviously. And what is Ms. Marvel? Who is it? Is it Brie Larson?
JVL00:03:51No Ms. Marvel. She's, uh, like an eighth grader who can stretch and turn herself into stone. And actually the, uh, sorry, Vic, it's, you know what? I, it's not what you're into. No, no, no, I'm gonna say, trust me, Vic, it's not what you're into.
Vic00:04:08No, obviously not. It's eighth grade. That's ridiculous. Come on.
JVL00:04:11That's, uh, but, uh, you know, actually G money started watching it this, this evening. And I only watched like 10 minutes of it with him. I think it's basically a kid's show. Yeah. I don't think we are the target audience for it. I mean, the target audience really is like 10 year olds. Yeah. And so it, it doesn't. Actually make any sense for us to say, Ooh, the Ms. Marvel show is stupid. It's not meant for us.
Sonny00:04:32So, okay. But it's exciting, exciting.
JVL00:04:36Uh, you just don't like diverse representation, Sonny.
Sonny00:04:39Yeah. She's like Pakistani or something.
JVL00:04:42She's Muslim.
Sonny00:04:43And how am I supposed to believe that a person like that could be a superhero? I refuse. I refuse now. Well, this is, this is, I mean, this is like the people that, you know, there, there are people who are, I, I haven't watched the show for the record. I have no idea if it's any good or not because I've heard it's a kid's show. I don't, I like, I didn't really want to watch it. Anyway, if it's genuinely for 10 year old kids, I have no desire whatsoever. I'm going to skip this one entirely. Uh, but, uh, I do, but like I, there were, there were people, you know, there as, as in any nerd conversation, you know, there are people who like Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Obi-Wan Kenobi show, and there are people who don't like Obi-Wan Kenobi, but then there's like the Disney people are like, you have to like, how dare anybody say anything bad about the actress who's playing the villain? You know, we are diverse representations of blah, blah, blah. And like, I just like, I'm so tired of this conversation.
JVL00:05:35I bet you didn't like Enfys Nest either. What is it you have against strong women characters? That's right. It's true. I will say this. And her partner Rocket Raccoon. I will say this about, uh, the, the first 10 minutes of Ms. Marvel, uh, the opening does a retelling of the MCU to this point, all done with like paper dolls and it's wildly inventive. And beautifully, beautifully done. Well, you know, one of those where you just sit and look at it and say, yeah, this is nice, somebody did, somebody did a nice piece of work here. I know you don't, but you know, I appreciate art.
Sonny00:06:09Don't don't care. Let's talk about real art. Guy Ritchie, Guy Ritchie draft.
JVL00:06:14One of the three best directors of his age. One might say Guy Ritchie, Christopher Nolan, and who else of that generation? And, and Zack Snyder, right? Those are the three top directors of their generation. Right.
Sonny00:06:29Sonny, I would have to, I'd have to sit and think about this because I, I, I, it would depend on where you, you cut it off. I mean, I, I think Wes Anderson is probably in the mix there. Paul Thomas Anderson is in the mix. Like that's the same. Paul Thomas Anderson is speaking of which we still, we still, we never did licorice pizza and I think it's on, I think it's streaming now by at this point.
JVL00:06:50It is, it is, it is, he's just like the second coming of Scorsese. You can't even compare him to anybody else.
Sonny00:06:55Second, so I don't know. I, I don't know that I would necessarily. Go that far, but I do like Guy Ritchie a lot. I mean, he has his share of misses, uh, but I do, I do like Guy Ritchie.
JVL00:07:06So we're going to draft. And one of the things that I think is going to be interesting about this is I believe this is the first draft where none of us are interested in picking any of the same movies.
Vic00:07:16Well, I guess that's one way to put it. Uh, you know, I've only seen like four Guy Ritchie movies, so we'll see how this goes. That's okay.
Sonny00:07:25We've talked about, so what are we doing?
JVL00:07:27Is this a snake draft again? Yeah. There were a finger cuffs draft Sonny.
Sonny00:07:30We've talked, we've talked about at least three Guy Ritchie movies.
Vic00:07:34And I've happened to like skip, uh, some of them that I was like, for some reason, I didn't do the one with Camelot. What's the one man from uncle.
Sonny00:07:41You didn't do the, you didn't do, uh, King Arthur. Nope.
Vic00:07:44Did not do that.
Sonny00:07:46Were you out that?
Vic00:07:47I don't know that we, you remember the early days? Sometimes one of us would just not, you know, it was like a couple would see it. Do you remember that? It was fine.
JVL00:07:56All right. So how are we going to do this? Sonny snake draft. Finger cuffs draft. What's the, what's the way to do it?
Sonny00:08:01I don't know what a finger. We always do it the same way.
Vic00:08:03We've always done the same kind of draft. And I, what's the order that I chose second, because that's my sweet spot.
Sonny00:08:10Yeah, that was it. You want to go second? Yeah. All right. All right. I'll take VL. Do you want to go first? No, I got third.
JVL00:08:16Then, then I guess I'm taking first. Uh, so part of me wants to take wrath of man just to piss. Did he actually direct it though? Did he direct wrath of man?
Vic00:08:27Yeah, yes. But I won't, that's weird on IMDb. It just said screenplay. I couldn't find him on, uh, I, I will take, that's not what it says.
JVL00:08:37I will take Sherlock Holmes with the top pick, uh, because it is, it is a mystery. It is an action adventure and it is also the best buddy cop movie since lethal weapon. And the joys of watching the homes and Watson. Characters played by Robert Downey Jr. And Jude law, who are having more fun than maybe they've ever had on screen together. It's absolutely sensational. And then you've got Mark strong and great set designing really great set pieces, an excellent score. Like you always get in these things. It's not a perfect movie. It is one set piece too long. The set piece that has the exploding pork bellies, that whole scene, that's like eight minutes. You could have lost from the movie, but everything else about it is great. And it's fabulous. And it's not my actual top pick, but it's the only pick that I have that either of you would possibly want. And so I am taking it secure in the fact that neither of you will take either of the other two movies that I want.
Vic00:09:42I will have to check out this movie. I've never seen it. You know what, Vic? I actually think I have it on DVD. You would love it. You would love it. You would love it. The funny thing is it's not that I don't want to see it. I just haven't gotten around to it. And I'm like every time I'm like, oh, maybe this is the time I'll see it.
JVL00:09:57No, I have never had more fun watching two characters fighting on screen with each other. It is like the great Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, or the Owen Wilson Jackie Chan.
Vic00:10:14So Robert Downey Jr. So he plays a really good Sherlock Holmes is what you're saying.
JVL00:10:18So he's great at Sherlock Holmes.
Vic00:10:20And he does the whole English accent.
JVL00:10:23And Jude Law is Watson. And the two of them basically just can't stand each other. It's great. It's great. It's great.
Vic00:10:29All right, Vic. Vic. Okay. Do I get two?
Sonny00:10:34No, you get one.
Vic00:10:36See, I knew I was getting screwed. All right, well, I'm going to go with the one that I know best in that snatch. I like that. It's got Dennis Farina in it.
JVL00:10:46And you're Benicio del Toro.
Vic00:10:48Oh, yeah. I mean, there's a whole Orthodox diamond dealer element going on with him. And it's Avi. Avi. Avi, you know, and I think that's Dennis Farina or whatever. I mean, it's really just fantastic. And of course, Brad Pitt and the guy who has the pigs or dogs. They were dogs sickening the dog. The dog fights right up in the pit, right? What's that British actor's name? He's fantastic in it with the enormous glasses. Yeah, he's great.
Sonny00:11:18Yeah, I don't know. He's not in a ton of stuff. I mean, is that right? He's in this. He is also in, I think he's also in lock stocking to smoking barrels. Yes, I think so. Yeah.
Vic00:11:26And obviously the other fellow from. Lock stock is also in this movie as well.
JVL00:11:30Vinnie Jones.
Vic00:11:31Yes, Vinnie Jones. And I think that what really helps is if you do subtitles.
Sonny00:11:39For yeah, it is crazy. That does help.
Vic00:11:42It's good. Oh, you know, who else is in that? Also, Stephen Graham.
Sonny00:11:45Yeah, he's great. And he's great.
JVL00:11:47First time I've ever seen Brad Pitt do straight comedy.
Vic00:11:51Yeah, I mean, it's a long time ago already that we got it too nuts. And oh, and Jason Statham getting to say. Is the. Germans so good.
Sonny00:12:00It's great. It's great.
Vic00:12:01Okay.
JVL00:12:04Snatch is great.
Vic00:12:05Yeah, snatch is great.
Sonny00:12:05That would have been my pick.
JVL00:12:06That would have been my pick. So, okay. All right, you all right.
Sonny00:12:10Well, I got I've got back-to-back picks here. So I've got a I'm gonna I know what two movies you're picking. Do you now? All right, right. So I'm going to go. I think I have to go with lock stock and two smoking barrels. Even though I it's not my favorite. Frankly, it is.
?00:12:27It.
Sonny00:12:27Is not my favorite. It's not even my favorite left on the board. But yeah, I feel like you have to get either lock stock or snatch of the four movies.
Vic00:12:36I've seen. It's definitely my top two. You know, what I thought was unfair about lock stock, by the way, was the immediate comparisons to Pulp Fiction. I don't know if you remember the time. Yeah, we got all these watches JVL. We got promos from Allied for it.
JVL00:12:53And it's like this whole thing with so I rewatched lock stock a year ago. And And I can absolutely see why it was compared to Pulp Fiction. And the reason is more the feel of the movie. It feels grime grind housey. It feels very it just feels like the way Pulp Fiction looked on screen.
Sonny00:13:18Yeah, and it's got some of the you're bringing old actors back who had been out of the game for a while like staying and you know, it's like it definitely there's a there's I like I like the movie. A lot it is it a I prefer snatch of these two but Rick has already has already taken it in the son of a bitch. I'm going to pick I may I may be I may be stealing one out from under JBL here, but I'm going to go with the man from uncle as my second pick which is a movie. I love me.
JVL00:13:52So here's the thing I don't talk me to I have never been able to get through my central problem with it, which is that the casting is mixed up right the castings backwards and
Sonny00:14:02should have had Armie Hammer in the charming smoothie roll and Henry Cavill as the hulking
JVL00:14:07Russian and so I've never been able to get past that is how do you get past that?
Sonny00:14:13I mean, I just it's it I would prefer to be cast a different way, but it's still it still works for me. I think it's actually it is a it is a of of like the weird the remember how we had like a bunch of like weird. Mid 70s TV show reboots right around the time there was there was the man from I mean, this is that was even before that but there was like the man from uncle. There was a Dukes of Hazzard, my favorite Martian Charlie's Angels. That's right. Charlie's a that's right.
JVL00:14:40There was a Beverly Hillbillies.
Sonny00:14:42Maybe I can't remember, but they did about yeah, and it's got the super tall blonde girl
JVL00:14:46that Vic loves.
Sonny00:14:47Yes, Elizabeth the Becky the Becky.
Vic00:14:49Yes. Do you remember there was actually this goes back to probably the 80s early 90s also a remake of McHale's Navy. With Tom Arnold.
JVL00:14:58Oh, I don't remember that. Hey Sonny. Do you remember that time that we reviewed a movie that Elizabeth to Becky got naked in and then had sex on screen in and then Vic gave it an F because he hated it so much.
Vic00:15:08Yeah.
JVL00:15:09What was that movie? Widows. She was she was in that movie.
Vic00:15:14You don't you didn't even watch it. No, I probably you know, I was like, what is this five hours? Ridiculous.
Sonny00:15:23All right, Vic.
Vic00:15:24You're right. All right. Well, we're running down to just a few movies. Love that I have here. I didn't see there was a sequel to Sherlock Holmes.
JVL00:15:34I didn't see it's not I got this what it's not good. Yeah, that's what I heard terrible.
Vic00:15:39That's what that's what I heard. But there's the gentleman. And we did see the gentleman, right? We did see the devil. So that's why Matthew McConaughey.
JVL00:15:49I just watched that two weeks ago. And it's great. Yeah, it's really great.
Vic00:15:55Well, put me down for him.
JVL00:15:57It's an excellent back the gentleman.
Vic00:15:59Yeah, and it had Henry Golding. It was a weird role for him. I think yeah, it's fine.
Sonny00:16:04I didn't I didn't want to get I didn't want to pick to Guy Ritchie smart-ass gangster movies with my first two picks. But that would have been my other that was like it was either the man from uncle or the gentleman which it the gentleman is it's gotten it's so funny.
JVL00:16:23It's really really Colin Farrell is amazing in it. And oh, you know. What he's really as a boxing mentor.
Sonny00:16:30He's fantastic.
JVL00:16:31Hugh Grant and it's a little understated understated funny. Like when in the end when Colin Farrell's character the coach saves he has agreed to do like three services for banter man. And when he saves Charlie Hunnam's wife and he just looks at him. That's right. Weasel for fake. Yeah, that's sort of the eyes. Like what do you want from? Yeah, it's just this understated. Piece of work. It's great.
Sonny00:16:58All right, my two that was a that was a good stretch of roles for Colin Farrell to like that.
JVL00:17:05He yeah, he's great Aladdin. The best of all the live-action Disney remakes.
Vic00:17:10That is the other one. I watched it. I'm like there's no even though I watched it. There's no way I'm picking that one.
JVL00:17:17It's it is absolutely the best of all the live-action Disney remakes. It is only one think about it in that way significantly on the original. It is lovely. It's fun. It's touching. It's efficient as a piece of movie making it looks great. It's got the soundtrack is great. The music the music is all better than in the the Ascended original animated version, which people love the number. They added speechless is probably the best number in the in the book.
Vic00:17:48I can't even remember who played level of crowd was Will Smith playing the genie.
JVL00:17:52That's Will Smith is the genie and the girl from Lemonade Mouth was the Princess Jasmine. Oh, she was nice. I liked her. She's great. And then for my final pick Chad King Arthur, which is the best fantasy film since the tooth out the two towers. It is laugh out loud funny throughout. It's absolutely epic and scope visual masterpiece in every way from costume design. You look at Vortigaunt's wardrobe to the representation of how Excalibur works by warping space time, then how mages work magic and what that looks like it. I count this up. It makes you care about the arcs of seven different characters, which is an amazing. Yes, it does. Arthur Vortigaunt, Goose Fat Bill, the mage, Uther Pendragon, Kung Fu George and backlack. You care about every one of them in this makes me really wish that they had gotten this universe off the ground. The score the best score of any Guy Ritchie movie it rewards repeated. Viewing there's that sequence that starts at the 12 minute mark. I went and watched it tonight before to the show. So it gives you 20 years of exposition and character development and world building about Arthur Vortigaunt Backlack and Kung Fu George and about London him itself and it does it in two and a half minutes with no dialogue. It's just an astonishing piece of filmmaking. It is an astonishing piece of filmmaking and one of my favorite movies of the last five years, maybe top five movies of the last five years. They're this is what I say. None of you would have wanted any of the things that I picked and I don't think any of us would have wanted it like Vic. You wouldn't pick the man from uncle. I never know.
Vic00:19:40I've never seen it.
Sonny00:19:41But but I will have one more pick Vic, but I do. What are you?
Vic00:19:43Yes, you got I'm going to surprise you because I do have one more pick of something. I've actually seen wrath of man swept away. No, not no. No a short. I'm I'm pulling a short a short. Yes called. The higher JVL will remember this. It's an Audi commercial, right? Yeah, the BMW. It's BMW commercial. It was a BMW. It was kind of like a dry run for Clive Owen as Roger as Roger. Sorry. It's just a lot because he would have been a great 007 and I don't understand. I don't know what happened. It didn't happen because he would have been I thought he would be great. Now, of course, he's too old, but I thought he was perfect at the time and BMW decided to hire. They made three shorts. I think it was three or four. They were web shorts or BMW right web shorts.
JVL00:20:30They do web shorts go on to the internet to watch received a DVD.
Vic00:20:35I have a DVD of it and I put it into your eye your iMac slip it in there and I don't know where that is. And one of them was directed by Wong Kar Wai. I think and the other one was who's the guy who did face off John Woo John Woo. And then there was John Frankenheimer and Guy Ritchie and the Guy Ritchie the higher one. Is silly, but it's with Madonna who of course that's right with and he did and Guy Ritchie did a bunch of like Madonna like Jason Statham, right? Oh, no, Jay is Jason in it. It's called was it just like Clive Owen and just throw was Jason Statham was the transporter. Yes.
Sonny00:21:12Yes.
Vic00:21:12So I'm so the higher that's what I got for you.
Sonny00:21:15All right, that's that's fine. It's oddball pick. I like it. Well, I'm I and it was short.
Vic00:21:21I the duration was a plus plus plus plus plus three minutes.
JVL00:21:26Oh, highest duration score ever.
Vic00:21:29Oh, a plot piece of cake to it was great. It was also compact.
Sonny00:21:33Okay, I'm going to go. I'll go with Wrath of Man then to wrap things up here. I like I wanted to get the the entire scope of his work.
JVL00:21:43So I've been to that's why I did Aladdin and and Jeff King Arthur and Sherlock Holmes.
Sonny00:21:50The full scope that is you picked you picked three big budget studio movies. This is not I would. Not I would not describe this as the full scope of his work. But I got I got a I got I got one of those in the man from uncle and then I got a smart, you know, limey gangster movie and then 70s grindhouse knockoff. I'm a I'm I like I like how this all shook out. You can listen to how much I loved it on the last episode. I'm not going to restate all that.
Vic00:22:19So if I could have picked a fourth movie would have been layer cake. That was a good one.
Sonny00:22:26He was a executive producer on that. Wasn't he? See? I don't think that counts. You can't count. You can't do it. All right. So here's the here's the final lineup JBL, Sherlock Holmes, Aladdin and Chav King Arthur, one of the worst movies of the last five years, Vic Snatch, The Gentleman and the hire a commercial for Audi automobiles and sunny with the clearly the best lineup here lock stock and two smoking barrels the man from uncle and wrath of man. So good draft guys.
Vic00:22:54Yeah. Yeah. Leave your comments.
Sonny00:22:57The vote on who the winner is. I still haven't figured out how to do polls. I think that's the thing you can do, but maybe, maybe I'll look into that for this time. I don't know.
?00:23:07I'm sure it's fine.
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