#107. 'The Northman'
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With JVL off closing on a new house in North Jersey, Matt Continetti — AEI resident scholar and author of the new book The Right — fills the third chair to review The Northman, Robert Eggers's Viking revenge epic. Sonny gives the "big boy review," walking through Alexander Skarsgård's Amleth (the Hamlet source figure) avenging his father Ethan Hawke's murder by uncle Fjolnir, and praises the film's bursts of "amazing and fantastic violence" — a deadly field-hockey-style game that ends in a headbutting death, a duel with an undead sword-wielding wight, a climactic volcano sword fight — while faulting the back half for stalling out on one Icelandic farm for a static final seventy minutes. Vic loved it and breaks out his Quadrant scorecard: an A for plot, a D for the punishing duration, a rare A-plus-plus-plus for action/violence (including a gleefully described disembowelment), and a B for sex and nudity, all delivered with signature groans of delight recalling specific kills; Matt, who got called home from the theater by a burst pipe flooding his brand-new house, never actually saw the movie and remains skeptical based on the description alone. The episode's opening third is dominated by Matt hawking his book (with a long bit about Sonny's screenshotted Amazon purchase and dueling inscriptions), a lengthy dueling-trip-report comparison of the guys' recent Disney World visits (Epcot's drunk-adult reputation, the Galaxy's Edge immersion debate, Star Tours vs. Rise of the Resistance wait times), Vic's food-waste confessional about wilting salad and mushy apple crisp, and a full box-office rundown — The Northman opened fourth with $12.3 million behind The Bad Guys ($24M), Sonic the Hedgehog 2 ($15.7M), and Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore ($14M), with side chatter on Morbius's flop and anticipation for Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. They close with a quick, mostly negative detour into The Batman — Matt pans Paul Dano's shrieking Riddler and the disconnected Madison Square Garden third act — before Vic confesses to his habit of sneaking into the theater's handicap seating for extra legroom.
From the show notes
Matt Continetti, author of the new book The Right , joins Sonny and Vic this week as JVL heads up north to do some life-changing. Speaking of up north! The guys review The Northman .
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00I will avenge you, father. I will save you, mother. I won't kill you, Phyllis. Why would you stow away to such a hellish place? To find what was stolen from me. What is that? The kingdom. You must choose between kindness for your kin or hate for your enemies. Their strength breaks men's bones. I have the cunning to break their minds. And night by night, we will carry out my pledge of vengeance. I will avenge you, father.
Vic00:00:54Hello and welcome to another edition of The Sub-Beacon. I'm Victor Matus, along with Sonny Bunch. And subbing for Jonathan V. Last this week is our good friend Matt Continetti, resident scholar at the American Enterprise Institute and author of The Right, The Hundred-Year War for American Conservatism. In bookstores now, Sonny's holding a copy of the book.
Sonny00:01:15I got a copy right here. I haven't read it yet, Matt. Oh, I have. I haven't read it yet. Is it good? It's spotless. Is it good?
Vic00:01:25Before we get to that, just a reminder. The Sub-Beacon is now available through Patreon. Go to subbeacon.com. You'll easily find us. Please subscribe. Tell your friends. And don't forget about the Sub-Beacon merchandise store at tpublic.com. Welcome back to the show, Matt. New book?
Guest00:01:42Thank you for having me. I'm actually a little bit pleased and excited because apparently the only way I get invited back on the Sub-Beacon is to write a book.
Vic00:01:54We'll see you in a couple of years.
Guest00:01:56It's been about three. It's about three years since I've been on. Yeah. It all worked out. I have the book out and so I'll get to work on my next book and then I'll see you guys when it comes out a couple of years from now.
Vic00:02:08It's a great problem. What I want you to do, Matt, is just watch your numbers on Amazon when the show comes out tomorrow, or rather on Friday morning, and check around like 10 a.m. and you're going to see a big difference. Huge. Go down. Go down. You're going to see the number of one-star reviews. You're suddenly going to celebrate.
Guest00:02:29Exploding. Yeah.
Sonny00:02:31Sonny, you had a question for Matt about the book. We've got great, loyal listeners. I'm sure they'll support you. Well, I just haven't read it yet because I've had to read books for Bulwark Goes to Hollywood like three times over the last five episodes I've done. Excuses. Excuses. Sonny. You can do a Bulwark. You can do a Bulwark Goes to Hollywood on my book. I didn't get an advanced reader's copy for some reason. I didn't get a press copy.
Guest00:03:04Where's the Atma special episode on Ronald Reagan's film career? You know, I don't think that's a good idea. Yeah, exactly. That would be good. But you know what, Vic? I will just say, Sonny actually purchased his copy. And so I'm very, very pleased with him about that.
Vic00:03:20Are you trying to tell me something?
Guest00:03:22I'm trying to guilt you into buying. I know you. You're waiting for the free copy.
Vic00:03:27You know what? You'll be surprised, Matt. The number of cheapskates in our office who keep asking, when are we getting the free copies of Matt's book? I said, I don't think it works that way. And I used to think it worked that way until I had my own book. And I was so offended when people asked me for a free copy of the book. It's like, I want you to buy the book. What?
Guest00:03:46You know, all my author copies are gone. Basic sent me 24 author copies. I have one left. And because in this instance, this is my third book. With this book, I was like Oprah giving away cars. I wanted everyone to have a copy of my book. You get the right. You get the right. Because I wanted to spread the word as much as possible before publication. So I was handing out free books. To the influencers.
Vic00:04:14You handed them out to the influencers. Anybody. Men on the street. Who knows?
Guest00:04:18Anyone can be an influencer today, Vic.
Vic00:04:20Everyone has a sub stack.
Guest00:04:24Who knows how far reaching it is. Yes. I was just giving out. I was just giving out books to everybody. And they're free. So you can't come across free books. But I have extra respect for people who purchase a copy. And Sonny actually notified me the minute that he did. He screen captured it. Matt, look. I bought your book. I said, that's a friend.
Sonny00:04:47You know what?
Guest00:04:48Sure, you haven't had me on your show in three years.
Sonny00:04:51Some of us try to support our friends.
Guest00:04:53Sure, you left me in the lurch at the Free Beacon in 2019. And it ruined my life. But you bought my book.
Sonny00:05:01What? First off, for the record, for the record, we're going to pull back the curtain here a little bit. And think about those choices. You were already leaving. Think about those choices. You were already leaving. I was? You were already leaving the Free Beacon by the time I told you. I heard you were getting out. I was like, I got to go. I can't let Vic Matus chronology.
Vic00:05:18You both abandoned me. You both abandoned me.
Sonny00:05:21Vic is still there. I was like, we've suckered Vic here. Now we both got to get out.
Vic00:05:27Get out while the getting's good. Now you can leave.
Sonny00:05:29No, you were like, you had two feet out the door. And I was like, fuck, I got to, you know, I'm not going to last here. I'm not going to last.
Guest00:05:38I guess I misremember it.
Sonny00:05:41I want to just show people, for the record, well, you guys, since the listeners can't see it. Here's one copy of Vodka. Here's what it says on the inscription page. To Sonny Bunch, I so look forward to signing the book you promised to order on Amazon. And then here's copy number two, dated one month later, to Sonny Bunch, meh. Okay.
Guest00:06:08Thanks for buying the book. Those were the days. Vic was disillusioned by that point when he got the second copy.
Vic00:06:15I have, you know what I have, Matt? I have a copy of your book. I already have the paperback edition to your book, The Right. Now, it says Gally Proof and for some reason, but it's really.
Guest00:06:27We don't go selling that on the market, you know, Vic.
Sonny00:06:29That's legal. We used to do that.
Vic00:06:31We used to do that, you know, back in the day.
Sonny00:06:33Well, not the paperback, not the galleys. We sold whatever they took.
Vic00:06:38We sold whatever they took. Many a fine lunch at Morton's. It's not like those books.
Guest00:06:44Backroom deals on galleys, financing Morton's. That's right, that's right.
Vic00:06:48Matt, now let me ask you, have you done any, you're going to be doing some traveling for the book, I assume, promotions stuff?
Guest00:06:57You know, a little bit, Vic, but really as a result of the pandemic and also, I think, just general budget cuts, they don't really have book tours anymore. Basically, my day since a week before publication, so basically for the past three weeks or so, my day has consisted of going into my office, sitting down, and appearing on podcasts for about eight hours straight. Sometimes I have breaks. Where I go and I do a cable news hit. Yeah, I saw you on Fox the other day. So that's kind of my day, and then I end my day, and I come home, and I kind of collapse into a heap, except on days where I have to stay up until 9.30 p.m. Eastern time to record an episode of my favorite podcast, The Sub-Beacon.
Vic00:07:48Wait till you wrap things up. I'm that dedicated. Wait till you wrap things up at 11 p.m., Matt. Then you'll really love us.
Sonny00:07:54Oh, I'm sorry. You guys are late. The central time. Mr. Central Time. The central time imperialism here.
Vic00:08:01That's ridiculous out there in CST.
Sonny00:08:03You tape the show, and then you go to bed, and you live your life. Meanwhile, I'm up till, like, midnight. I'm editing. I'm putting all the files together. You know, some of us have to do the real work. Don't you just press a button?
Vic00:08:16I don't actually do the podcast. You just press a button, right? That's how it works? I wish. Sonny, how are you? What's going on?
Sonny00:08:25I'm fine. Yeah?
Vic00:08:27I'm fine. What's new in your life?
Sonny00:08:29Not a whole lot. I was excited to talk to Matt. I guess we'll get to Matt and his Disney World adventure. Oh. Because Matt also went to Disney World. I went, like, two weeks before Sonny did.
Vic00:08:44Oh, that's right.
Sonny00:08:44You weren't here last week, Vic, so you missed my whole Disney World spiel. But I'm excited to get Matt's take on it because I have to say, as I said last week, I was skeptic. I'm skeptic. I'm skeptic of Disney. I've never been a, you know, Disney person. I've never quite gotten it. But after spending, you know, four days there, three days, four nights, I was like, I get it. I get it. It's good.
Vic00:09:10You know, you could have had John Podhoretz on. A little unbeknownst to you.
Sonny00:09:15One of America's foremost intellectual slash Disney fan.
Guest00:09:19So John Podhoretz told me that he has been to Disney somewhere around 13 times. But he didn't start going until the age of 40.
Vic00:09:32Yeah, that's right. That's right. He was like 46 or something. Also, the 13 times.
Guest00:09:36The distribution of visits is so impressive to me.
Vic00:09:40The 13 times does not include with his family. That's just him alone.
Guest00:09:45Right. We only have to add. Oh, yeah.
Vic00:09:48Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Guest00:09:48Where the wife and kids go.
Vic00:09:50Did either of you consider going to Epcot? And is that a thing anymore, going to Epcot?
Guest00:09:56I went. Sonny, did you go to Epcot? I did not go to Epcot. Oh, really? Oh, I would have thought with your daughter might have been interested in the Frozen ride, which is there. We did spend an afternoon in Epcot. Is it now?
Vic00:10:06Because I went there in the 80s and early 90s. And I don't know. Is it still the same?
Guest00:10:14Well, it's different in the sense that when I first went to Disney World in 1988, I think, 87 or 88, then Epcot, the big attraction was the Exxon. Mobile ride. Where you saw the dinosaurs. And it was called, like, World of Energy.
Vic00:10:31Yes.
Guest00:10:32That's what the dinosaurs became. Did you watch them liquefy?
Sonny00:10:36No, it eventually, like, ended up, you know, like, tarpons and coal.
Vic00:10:39Right, right. That's right.
Guest00:10:40But that has become, and I know Sub-Beacon listeners will correct me if I'm wrong, I'm pretty sure that's become the pavilion where the great ride called Soarin' is now, where you kind of glide over the world. And it's an incredible ride. Soarin'. Yeah, not Soarin'. It's Soarin'. I was going to say that's a New Line movie. So Epcot has some good rides. Oh. But it is by far the worst designed of the parks.
Vic00:11:09Because it's going in different directions and so you've got to keep on doubling back.
Guest00:11:11And it has a huge lagoon in the center of it. So every, you have to walk just miles, or it seems like miles, to get anywhere. That's my memory. And then the second thing is because it has the World Pavilion, it has all the different national communities. That's what I think is interesting. It is interesting. But you know what that means? Party time. Yes. So there are so many drunk people at Epcot.
Vic00:11:34Like I said, this is what.
Guest00:11:37And now, you know, they started introducing that you could drink in the other parks slowly but surely. So it was interesting because we started, I don't know how Sonny structured his trip, but for us we did Magic Kingdom first. And there the drinking is pretty light, mainly because it is. It's only in the restaurants. It's only in restaurants. And, you know, it's fun. It's mainly young kids.
Vic00:11:57It's not like an open container. It's not like Bourbon Street or anything.
Guest00:12:01Then you go to, then I spent a day at Hollywood Studios. You see a little bit more of it, you know, a little bit more of the party animals types. But at the time we reached Epcot on our final afternoon, I mean, it was, it was like spring break. Wow. Orlando style. Okay. Yeah. Just crazy. So that was a little bit shocking. I really got to go. I don't think my secret.
Vic00:12:21Have you booked your ticket yet? I'm going, I'm actually telling my wife I'm going to Vegas. But the truth is I'm going. You're going to Epcot?
Guest00:12:27Well, it has a Vegas quality because of these pavilions, you know, and like you go to the France pavilion and that has the Ratatouille ride, which is quite good. Okay. So it's, it's weird. Like Epcot has good rides, but they're very far apart. No, I went, I went to the Hofbrauhaus.
Vic00:12:40I remember going to the Hofbrauhaus in Germany.
Guest00:12:42That's great. And then the, you know, the, the Nordic pavilion, which I think is a Swedish pavilion, which has the frozen ride. It has to be frozen, yes. They also have some, you know, you know, Scandinavian candy or whatever, you know, they call it Scandinavian. Scandinavian, who knows? But that was very good. And so you have fun at Epcot. It's just a, it's a.
Vic00:13:02You noticed more drunks.
Guest00:13:03It's a more adult experience. Yes.
Sonny00:13:05Well, that's, that's very much how I felt in Hollywood studios. So we did Magic Kingdom, Hollywood studios, and then back to Magic Kingdom. We did two days of Magic Kingdom.
Guest00:13:14I think you need two days of Magic Kingdom actually.
Sonny00:13:16To get, to get everything, I think you basically. Yes. But the, but, but it was, it was, it was definitely a very different vibe. I mean, like it's, like you say, in Magic Kingdom, no, there's no drinking. Out, outdoors really anywhere, but in, at Hollywood studios, it's like every 200 yards or so, there's another, like, stand, like a frozen drink stand, or you go into, you go into Galaxy's Edge and it's like, get, get the blue milk with rum. Get the blue milk. It's like, okay. Oh, you mean like from Star Wars? Did you like Galaxy's Edge, Sonny? Well, Galaxy's Edge, I mean, it's, so, so in Hollywood studios, I actually think the Toy Story area is the best designed of those areas. Completely agree. Completely agree. Um, it's, it's great. I mean, Galaxy's Edge. Galaxy's Edge was neat and it was, there's like, it's, it's got like a lot of, you know, nice details and stuff. It's definitely very sequels focused.
Guest00:14:03Yes. It's like. Well, that was my big point of contention because I was saying to my wife, I said, I don't like this place. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like what's going on here. And she said to me, correctly, is because she goes, you want the Star Wars when you grew up.
Vic00:14:19Four, five, six.
Guest00:14:20You want the original trilogy. You want to go into a world that's the original trilogy. Um, so like the Star Tours. Star Tours ride, which has been there for decades. We went on twice. I like that. I've done that. My kids loved that ride. Even though it's not part of Galaxy's Edge.
Sonny00:14:34But even though Star Tours has been updated for the sequels. Yeah. They have different elements. You don't, you don't do the Death Star run. You go to the, the salt planet from The Last Jedi.
Guest00:14:43There are a bunch of different, um, simulations. Yeah. But, but you know, Darth Vader's in there and stuff like that. So, but nonetheless, um, I preferred Star Tours to Galaxy's Edge because I was just, yeah, it was just too, uh, sequels, uh, to me. I actually, I liked Avatar. I liked Pandora.
Vic00:15:00Oh, well, that's what John Podharts is saying.
Guest00:15:02I thought that was much cooler. He says it's the most amazing ride ever. Well, yeah. Uh, Flights of Passage, by far, my whole family's favorite ride.
Vic00:15:09How many hours did you have to wait for that one? Or did you take it express?
Guest00:15:12Well, because we, uh, we did, we gamed the system, you know, we got a Disney planning. Nice. Yeah. And the, not only does the Disney planner tell you to do the lightning lines, but you know, you can't, you have to. You have to have a strategy. Yeah. You know, it's like what Putin should have done before he invaded Ukraine. My wife and I, we sat down and we had a strategy. We mapped everything out before we went to Orlando and then we would get up at, uh, you know, the, uh, before sunrise in order to be the first ones to book the rides. Yes. Wow. And you have to have that kind of, uh, mentality to have a successful trip. And so as a result, the truth was we hardly waited. That's nice. In line. Same.
Vic00:15:56That was us when we took the kids, but that was, you know, some years ago now, but I, I had the Disney app so he could monitor like what lines were short. Yeah. Plus we had the bands plus we had the bands, but I remember like we were on our way to one ride and then my daughter, she, she was like three or four needs to use the bathroom. I'm like, you're just, it's killing me. It's just like, I'm seeing the lines grow. What was the longest, what line did you have to wait on the longest? Both of you. What ride?
Sonny00:16:24I, uh. So I, I would say the, the longest ride that we actually stood in, like to wait in was probably, uh, either jungle cruise. We waited about 40 minutes, uh, for that or, um, big, uh, what the big mountain thunder railroad, thunder mountain railroad, thunder mountain railroad. Yeah. That one was about, again, about 40 minutes. It was like, both of them are probably about 35 to 40 minutes.
Guest00:16:53So I would say I agree that jungle. Cruise was a ridiculously long line, even with the, um, I don't know if we had a lightning lanes on that one, but we had the, um, Disney plus, which is the, you know, the kind of the second tier lightning lane and not worth it. Not just not worth it. Yeah. Uh, because, you know, it's interesting cuz you know, when I was eight and went to Disney in the first time in the 1980s, jungle cruise was cool animals move. Yeah. But now they have a whole park animal kingdom and the animals are animals. And during that safari that, you know, kinda, you feel like you're in Jurassic park and it go, it's going up and down and you see the train. So jungle cruise was very disappointing. Um, the other ride that I think we waited the longest in, uh, though it, you know, they do all these things to make you think that you're not waiting line, uh, was rise of the resistance, the star Wars ride, uh, and even that, that was a lightning lane and we got, you know, we, we didn't have to wait at the outset. Right. Because for the wait time for that, for people who don't. Have the special passes is up to three hours. Yeah. Like two and a half, three hours. Yeah. That's your day.
Vic00:18:00You're and you spend a lot of money to get into there. And then you spend, no, that's crazy.
Sonny00:18:04It's just not worth it, but even when we got in, we still had to wait. I, I disagree rise of the resistance is probably the best of the like experience rides for me. I mean, I like, it's like the most immersive, I mean, it's, it's kind of like, it's kind of like star tours.
Vic00:18:20It's not a millennium, it actually moves around.
Guest00:18:23Oh, it's a story. You're part of the story. Yeah. And you have to escape a, uh, first order cruiser. Here's my thing. I didn't, I, this is my problem with galaxy's edge. I don't like the immersion. Okay. You don't like the immersion. I don't like the immersion. I want the Disney people to know their place. They are the cast members. They are helping us. Did you, did you, are you mad? Are you mad?
Sonny00:18:47Wait, wait. So are you mad that you, you, did you get like grief from the, from the empire guys where they, were they talking shit to you? Totally.
Guest00:18:55And I just, it kind of really pissed me off, but then more is like even the photographer, we had a photographer who kind of came up to me and we just wanted a photo with the family in front of the, um, millennium Falcon and the photographer looks at me and goes, what planet are you from? You know, I said, I'm from, I'm from this one. Oh, and they said, you're from Batu. No, I'm not from, no, come on.
Vic00:19:22So you don't want to be in character is what you're saying. It's not a character.
Sonny00:19:26You need to, you need to enjoy the illusion in such a, such a grumpy old man. That's what I know where I am. How dare you? How dare you? I like the illusion. I want to be immersed. Immerse me.
Guest00:19:38You want to shoot? You should go to that new hotel. Then the, um, the star cruise. Oh yeah. Totally in character, totally in character and character.
Sonny00:19:47Uh, not for me, I will say that, uh, it's very, it's been very interesting in the, the weeks following our trip because my, uh, my six year old daughter has gotten totally into star Wars. Like we're watching the old droids cartoon on Disney plus cause she built, she built a droid, right? We did the build a droid thing. She built a droid. And so she's totally into that. She like from her library at school, she got like a little droid book, uh, to, to read up on the droids. She was, she was trying to explain to us how a lightsaber is made. I was like, I know about the Kyber crystals. All right. I know all about the Kyber crystals. Come on. Don't you can't stump me kid.
Guest00:20:24They made droids, but not the lights.
Sonny00:20:25Sabers, because you can, they did, they did. Yeah, we did the droid. Well, we were going to do, we were going to have both of them do the droids, but Charlie, Charlie's too little.
Vic00:20:33Do you, do you have to be on the side of the rebellion throughout the entire experience? Are there any options to be either bounty hunter or with the, uh, empire? Well, Vic, you know, you could be whoever you really like.
Guest00:20:47So I could do that, but it's not really the ride structured in such a way that you're kind of part of the resistance and it's called rise of the resistance. Yeah. You're caught on the first order ship and then they basically rescue you. But you know, you in your own mind, I could be imagining that I'm whatever,
Vic00:21:03you know, I'm carrying out order 66.
Guest00:21:07They have, speaking of bars, they have the, uh, they have this immersive bar called, uh, Olga's Cantina, which is designed like the star Wars.
Vic00:21:17Oh, like Mos Eisley. Yeah.
Guest00:21:18And you go in there and it's all this weird music and lights and everything. And they have some, uh, animatronic aliens. But not as many as I would have liked, but yeah, not as ready as I would have. No, no, I needed more, you know, I needed more, but, uh, but they try to get you into that. So, you know, Vic, you could, you could imagine when you go there, that you're, you're about to, oh, right. And I'll do my thing with my, it's all up to you and my Wookiee pelts.
?00:21:45Yeah.
Guest00:21:45And the, the cast members there, they would, you know, indulge you, indulge your fantasy and I don't think that Ricardo Montalban would say, yeah, that's right.
Vic00:21:53Thank you. That your fans, yeah, I'd go to that island, by the way. That's where I'm going. Forget about it.
Guest00:21:58Go to Jabba's palace when they shut down some dancers, you know, they shut down the pleasure island. That was the big thing. Oh yeah.
Vic00:22:04Kid that, well, that became, I guess that's migrated to Epcot then in terms of the drinking.
Guest00:22:08Yes, no. Yes. And they've incorporated parts of it, but they used to have that island there in the lagoon, uh, called pleasure island, which was a big thing for adults. And I even remember as a kid, I was like, oh, wow. That's like, yeah. Kind of like the red light district, but they, they've never, it's interesting. Shut that down and then they spread it all over the park. And so it's kind of, what is there now?
Vic00:22:29What, what is there now? Cause I remember walking by there. What is, what is where that used to be now? Pleasure island, nothing.
Guest00:22:35Um, I think it's abandoned. Yeah. Okay. It's just a kind of a island that's in the middle of, uh, the seven seas lagoon. I think is the, is the one there too.
Vic00:22:42Yes.
Guest00:22:43Of course, you know, it's all going to be erased by Ron DeSantis in a couple of years anyway. So, well, I hope you enjoyed it.
Vic00:22:49You know, the, the illusion is going to be broken with the Osco Osceola County. You know, people have to put the, uh,
Guest00:22:55yeah, filling it up, filling in potholes, the waste, the waste reclamation department of Osceola County ruined the illusion. You know, you've got like, uh, people like Moses lack of get out of this street. Yeah, that's right.
Vic00:23:09Okay. All right. Good. Uh, well, uh, I, thank you for asking. I'm doing fine. So that's my script here. I say, oh, thanks for asking. I'm doing fine. Thank you. Well, that's usually JVL will say that right. And he's out this week. So, uh, uh, Uh, I'm okay. You know, I'm obsessed with not wasting food, right? And this is getting crazy now. I hate to, I don't know, cause you have kids, whatever's left on the table. I hate to throw it away. I'm eating everything. You know, everyone comes to me at the end, not you Sonny. It's not healthy. No, it isn't healthy. It isn't healthy.
Sonny00:23:42Absolutely not. First of all, first of all, I'm not, I don't want to eat. They're disgusting picked over leftover, like Mac and cheese.
Vic00:23:51But if it's like, I don't know, meat is meat. That's what I, that's what I say and a steak. Yeah, I don't know. Absolutely. Uh, you know, everything, but it's gotten so crazy. So, um, like over Easter, we went to my brother-in-law, captain Bill Dwyer's and Kate had to bring over a salad, which was fine. And, uh, but she overbought and she got these two giant boxes from, uh, whole foods is like, you know, a box of like mixed greens, you know, summer greens, these enormous boxes, we used one, but there's a whole other box. So there it is. It's getting old because that was Easter and I'm still eating salad almost every day and it's making me sick, but that's healthy. You know what they say? Oh, you can't overeat. Well, they're saying, you know, they can say, I mean, you're
Guest00:24:37not saying the salad is rotten. Not when it's all like, no, it's getting wilty.
Sonny00:24:42It's getting, you can't eat insects crawling out of it. No, not yet. Not yet.
Vic00:24:47But you know, it's like when they say, oh, you can't have enough salad. Yes, you can. Yes, you can. I'll, I'll just put, I'm, I'm turning into a salad shooter. If you know what I mean? Well, that is one, that is one consequence of that diet. And then, and then on Saturday night, we go over to my in-laws, their apartment. And, uh, my mother-in-law makes this like it's, it was an apple crisp with caramel on top and the whole thing, it was delicious. Everybody loved it. And there's some oatmeal through the whole thing. Anyway, she just said, take the rest of it home. Nobody wants to eat it now. And it's mine. And I just finished it yesterday and it was no longer crisp. It was like mush. I was eating mush.
Sonny00:25:25And you're like Homer Simpson, but it's tasty.
Vic00:25:28It tasted like the oatmeal cinnamon, uh, you know, Quaker Oats oatmeal, the sugary and cinnamony. And, uh, you know, I finished it, but my insides have gone completely berserk. Speaking of which, over the weekend, the North man came in fourth place, fourth place with $12.3 million behind fantastic beasts. The secrets of Dumbledore. With 14 million and in second place, Sonic, the hedgehog two with 15.7 million. And in first place, a movie called the bad guys with $24 million, uh, box office slots. Do either of you, did you know what the bad guys were?
Sonny00:26:15Yeah. I mean, I knew it was an animated movie from DreamWorks. I think that I'm not going to go see my kids.
Vic00:26:21I was going to say, did you, your kids, my kids saw, yeah.
Sonny00:26:24They liked it. They loved it. What theater do you guys go to?
Guest00:26:29Uh, uh, mainly the, the Tyson's corner movie theater, which is pretty close.
Sonny00:26:34That's a big one.
Guest00:26:34But, um, you know, uh, just listening to those numbers, it, it just reminds me of the power of the family market, right? Yeah. I mean, and a kid movie, you still want to take your kids to the movies because what else are you going to do? Yeah. It's a good way to find some way to kill time. And the kids want to go, you know, I think the bad guys is based on a, uh, a book series actually. And so the, they were familiar with it and they enjoyed it.
Sonny00:26:59Yeah. Yeah. No, the, the family market is still there. I mean, the, the Sonic sequel, the first Sonic did surprisingly well. Uh, this, the second one did huge numbers. People wanted to go see it. Um, uh, and, uh, seeing two grossed like 160 or $170 million, something like that, which is, uh, which is a very big number for that because it opened. I wouldn't say it opened soft because it opened like right during the Omicron surge or whatever. Right. If people were, but it opened to about 20 million, something like that. So it, it really hung around for a long time. People like to sing too.
Vic00:27:33People were like, people like those dumb movies. The McCormick's were telling me I need to see that movie. Well, that sounds about right.
Sonny00:27:39Well, you would actually probably like it because it, uh, you would probably like it because it's got, it's got a lot of songs you would recognize.
Vic00:27:46That's what Lauren McCormick said. She said, it's got Bono. I'd love it. I said, okay, when are we going?
Sonny00:27:52Yeah. But the North man, uh, the North man. And, uh, came in fourth, came, it came in ahead. I'm a little bit surprised that it came. It came in ahead of the, uh, unbearable weight of massive talent. The new cage movie. That was surprised. I'm actually a little bit surprised by that.
Vic00:28:08And you were disappointed by that movie, which we're not discussing.
Sonny00:28:11I did not. Yeah. I didn't love, maybe we'll do it next week.
Vic00:28:13Clearly nobody liked it.
Sonny00:28:14I mean, no, but no, but see, no, but see, this is, this is not true. Lots and lots of people liked it. It's like 89% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes.
Guest00:28:21It had a good Rotten Tomatoes score, so I'm surprised to hear you didn't like it.
Sonny00:28:24So yeah, the, the, the cinema score was pretty good. It was either a B plus or an a minus from cinema score. Uh, people, people like it. People like this movie. I just didn't, I didn't, it didn't work for me. Uh, and I was really, I was looking, I wouldn't say I was really looking forward to it, but I was looking forward to it and did not work for me. But I will say that it's one of the few movies that I have like published a negative review on and gotten lots of pushback on Twitter. People like, no, this movie is funny. How dare you like, well, I'm sorry. I don't have basic tastes like you, you scum.
Vic00:28:54Sounds like I'm really going to like this movie.
Sonny00:28:57So anyway, Vic, Vic, you'll love it. I'm sure. Cause it's, it's, it's a very much a standard studio. I don't have to think too hard.
Vic00:29:03It'll be very, uh, what, what happened to, what happened to Morbius? Where did that go?
Sonny00:29:08The movie was terrible. What happened? What did it finish with disaster?
Vic00:29:12What did it finish? How badly, how badly did it finish?
Sonny00:29:15It's not out of theaters yet, but it is, it is almost, I mean, it is, it is, I, it is not playing at my local draft house. It was only in it on my local draft houses screen. For, I think three weekends, which is very, a very short run for a movie like this. Um, but it's, it's, it's the problem with that movie is that it's bad. It's a terrible movie. I mean, it just like, nobody, nobody likes it. Nobody wants to go see it. Uh, it's got bad word of mouth and, uh, you know, it's, uh, it's, uh, I mean, I guess it's not a box office disaster cause it only costs $75 million to make or something like that, $80 million, but yeah, but I mean, it's just not, it's not good. I mean, it's not, it's not, it's not a good movie.
Vic00:29:53And next. Next weekend is a big one though, isn't it? Isn't captain Dr. Dr. Strange. Isn't that next weekend or no?
Sonny00:29:59Dr. Strange opens next weekend. Yeah.
Vic00:30:03That'll be a big one.
Sonny00:30:04That is. Well, that's, I S I saw a report today that they've already sold 44 or $42 million worth of tickets. So that's, um, the latest Marvel after Spider-Man. Yeah. It's the first proper MCU movie. Have you seen it already?
Vic00:30:18Sonny?
Sonny00:30:18I have, I have not seen it yet. I see it on Monday. Okay. I actually see it on Monday.
Vic00:30:22So, well, I'm looking forward to it as long as there's not a lot of CGI or any talk about like alternative universes and metaverses.
Guest00:30:28No, it's very simple plot.
Sonny00:30:29No, it's Dr. Strange and the one universe of normalcy.
Vic00:30:35I better just see one of him. That's what I'm going to say. If I see, if I see a clone, if I see a clown walking out of the theater, if I see one, I'm out. I'm out.
Sonny00:30:42I'm done. I'm cloned out. It's directed by Sam Raimi though. Come on. Sam Raimi. It's a return.
Vic00:30:48It's a return of that. Good. Well, maybe there'll be a simple.
Guest00:30:51It can't be as bad as the Eternals though.
Vic00:30:53Oh.
Guest00:30:54Nothing beats the badness of that movie. I could not. I've thought of myself as a Marvel completist, but I started the Eternals on Disney Plus. I did not get four minutes into the thing. You didn't finish it?
Sonny00:31:06You didn't finish the Eternals?
Guest00:31:07I didn't even really begin it. How are you going to? That first scene was so ludicrous.
Sonny00:31:11How are you going to? You should see it.
Vic00:31:12You think the first scene's ludicrous, but you should see the last scene. Well, that's, I mean, just the hand that comes out of the earth.
Sonny00:31:18How are you going to be able to follow the adventures of the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Okay. All right.
Guest00:31:24I hope, if Kevin Feige is intelligent, and I think he is, I think the Eternals is going to kind of, you know, we'll see what happens to the side.
Vic00:31:32So this week we're talking about, sorry, Robert, I was going to say Andrew Ager. Robert Ager. Andrew Ager. He's so talented. Robert Ager's The Northman. Sonny, how about a big boy review? In Old Norse. Do it in Old Norse.
Sonny00:31:49All right, hold on. I have to pull up the IMDB because I cannot remember the character names of any of the anybody in this show. I'm left. When in doubt, Bjorn.
Vic00:31:57Bjorn. Bill Norr. Bill Norr.
Sonny00:31:58All right, so Robert Ager's previously made The Witch, which I like a lot, and The Lighthouse, which I thought was okay. Horrible. I didn't like it as much as some critics, but definitely not a Vic movie. Definitely not. So Alexander Skarsgård plays basically the original Hamlet. So this is loosely based on the story. The story that Hamlet is loosely based on. He's a guy named Amleth. His father is played by Ethan Hawke. I thought his name was Amleth.
Vic00:32:33I didn't realize that.
Sonny00:32:35Amleth. I thought it was Amleth. Western.
Vic00:32:37Amleth. Western Amleth. Okay, go ahead.
Sonny00:32:41The story begins before he is an adult. He's as a child. His father, who's played by Ethan Hawke, is killed by his uncle, Fjolnor, and Fjolnor takes away his mother into, you know, bondage, kills everybody in the village. Can I interrupt you really briefly here? Yes.
Vic00:33:00I promise. Just one brief, because I'm going to forget about it. I just want to say, did you hear Ethan Hawke, you know, in order to get into it all, they said you can't bathe for a month. He said, okay, so normal then.
Sonny00:33:10Yes, just normal. Just normal Ethan Hawke. Don't brush your teeth for a week, month.
Vic00:33:14Don't brush your teeth for a month. Okay, so cool.
Sonny00:33:16Looked about the same. Acting? You call that acting? It's method. It's method. Go ahead. Go ahead. Sorry. It's just him. Normally. He looks the same on Moon Knight. Yeah. I don't know if you guys are watching Moon Knight. Yeah, same.
Vic00:33:29He hadn't shampooed his hair since then. Okay.
Sonny00:33:32All right. So Fjolnir kills everybody that Amleth knows, including poor Willem Dafoe, who is the fool. He is the jester in the court of the king. Flash forward, you know, 15 years or so, and Amleth is a wolf warrior, Nordic. Wolf warrior, part of the Rus. Beowulf. Yes, going to... He's a berserker. But he, in the course of sacking a village, learns that Fjolnir has fled to Iceland and he's going to go there. He basically gets himself put into slavery to go to Iceland and be a part of Fjolnir's village, where the last half of the movie takes place. Complaints about this movie, most of them involving the pacing. This is an hour... This is a 135-minute movie, which is punctuated by moments of amazing and fantastic violence, which I'm sure this movie does very well on the violence portion of the quadrants. But just like great, sometimes vaguely ridiculous scenes, but there's that sacking of the village that I mentioned. There's like a deadly field hockey game that ends with Amlet headbutting a man to death which is... I don't know if you've ever wanted to watch a man get headbutted to death, but you can do that in this movie. And then, you know, the fight under the mound against the, you know, I don't know, wizard knight thing, the dead wizard knight who has the magic sword, right? Anyway, there's some great, interesting stuff. There's also some like totally insane stuff. There's a big sword fight on top of a volcano between Amlet and Fjolnor, right? That's the culminating battle. There are visions of Valkyries and like, you know, Amlet basically does the Yorick, alas poor Yorick, I knew him well scene, talking to Willem Dafoe's skull. Bjork plays a crazy witch. There are lots of like great images in this movie is what I'm saying. But the problem is they are stretched too far apart from each other. And the structure of the movie is just all wrong. It's built to be a chase film where Amlet escapes and then he spends the rest of his life trying to find Fjolnor. Uh, traveling across the ocean to get to him. And instead of like continuing to chase him and continuing to have to go to more places, it just stops in this little, this little farm. You you're just stuck in this farm for the last 70 minutes of the film. And it looks kind of cool, I guess, but it just, it, the, the, all of the forward momentum, blah, it's like you hit a wall. Um, so I, again, there were things I really liked about this. Uh, I don't think Alexander Skarsgård is quite as good an actor as say, uh, Nicole Kidman who plays his mother in this or Ethan Hawk who hasn't bathed for a month. Um, uh, but, uh, he's, he's fine. He's very big. He's just, he's a very big Nordic person with his, his traps are about as big as my head. Um, uh, I don't know. I, I'm, I'm very curious to know what you made of it, Vic, because I like, I kind of liked it, but also had a lot of problems with it. And I, I feel like it's a movie that you were either going to have loved or really hated.
Vic00:36:59Uh, yeah, I kind of loved it. Uh, and a lot of the scenes are still lingering with me and haunting would be a bad word. It's more like a delights me tilt to continues to delight me thinking about certain ways people died in that movie. And, uh, I have to say, uh, there were certain scenes and like you wait, it's all about the payback, right? Because, oh, this guy, you know, the, the great injustice to him. He, he loses his family. He's on the run. These people did terrible things and then he has to work his way back and all these awful people, uh, who we remember, how is he going to get back at them? And S very specifically, there were certain characters, the guy with the missing nose, the guy with no nose, right? The guy with no nose. I said, what's going to happen. I hope he doesn't just get stabbed in that set. And no, I was not disappointed when, uh, Amleth takes his giant broadsword that only works at night. In moonlight. Yes.
Sonny00:37:54And can only take it out of the hilt. Yes.
Vic00:37:57And, uh, points it at the guy's nose and says, remember this? And he says, remember that the kid who, who, who bit your nose off, he grew and he's hungry for more. And then he just drives slowly the sword into his face. And I bet you would've loved it. And I lit in the audience sitting there. I literally like made noises and I was watching it. Was it like a, was it like a, yeah, or was it like people call the police on you? Oh, no, what's this man doing in here making these groaning noises? No, I literally did not. And this is no joke. I was watching. I'm like, what's your, no, no. And then I just go, oh, I just only said it was like, oh, I was so impressed.
Sonny00:38:37That did you make that noise, uh, earlier when Anya Taylor joy was on
Vic00:38:41the screen, I make, I was going to make other jokes, but I'm not going to make these jokes. She's a weird one. Uh, we'll get to that in a second. Matt, you were going to say you were going to see this movie. You were thwarted.
Guest00:38:52I was thwarted. I was so excited to be on the show after a three year hiatus, that I was doing my homework. I had booked my ticket. I was going to go to the theater, even though, even though as Vic kind of alluded to, this is not my type of movie, uh, extreme violence is not something I particularly care to watch. Um, and so I was still going to go to do, to do the, the, the homework so I could give a review on the, on the. The program this evening when, uh, I'm on my way literally to the movie theater. Uh, when I get a call from my wife, who's in our new house, we tore down our old house. We built a new house on top of it.
Vic00:39:38Oh, so we're looking at it right now. We're looking, you're looking at the live behind you. This is like the new, yeah, we have no idea how much bigger it is, which is like, but,
Guest00:39:45uh, so I'm talking to you from the new, my new office. But, um, so we've been in here, we've been in there for a. Six days at this point, but she calls me and says, you have to come home. There's a burst pipe and there's water spilling all over the master bath and it's leaking through the ceiling in the kitchen. Oh, so welcome home, everybody, your new house. Uh, this is not uncommon. Uh, I, I've since learned for people who do this type of thing, but, uh, so I didn't get to see the movie because we had to deal with that crisis, which is under control. What happened?
Sonny00:40:23So what actually happened?
Guest00:40:24Well, you know, Sonny, um, the plumbers, uh, who put installed the plumbing, uh, I don't, maybe they were just back from their lunch break or anything six months ago, but they, they'd forgot to glue the seal on the pipes in, uh, my vanity in the master, uh, bath. Oh man. And so, uh, it was inevitable that they said usually, you know, it could take six months to a year once they turn the water on for the, for the. Water to just burst through the unsealed pipe. And in this case it was at the, um, you know, the closer end of that. So, you know, it's been about six months or so since they've had the water on a little bit less, six weeks or whatever. And in case six days for us in the house before the water burst in the pipe, but when you shut down the water and then the plumber shows up that day, it's amazing to pull it, the plumber shows up that day and he's, uh, I'm like, well, how long is it going to take to fix the plumbing issue so we can restore the water? He's like, it's going to take 30 minutes. He goes up there, he seals it on and he's like, okay, see you guys later.
Sonny00:41:28The water's back today, but we still have to do repair work.
Guest00:41:33Oh my gosh.
Vic00:41:33I hope, I hope the people who messed up, uh, are, you know, oh yeah, no, I mean,
Guest00:41:38we're not paying for any, it's good warranty, you know, warranty, but, but, you know, it's going to cause us some inconvenience next week, which in the middle of, uh, the book promotion and everything is an inconvenience, but the most important consequence, I still believe. You did not get to see. Me not being able to see the Northman. And so to, uh, so I could talk about it, uh, intelligently with you guys.
Sonny00:42:00At the end of this, we'll have to, we'll have to, you'll have to let us know if we've talked you into it.
Vic00:42:04Yeah, that's right. Okay.
Sonny00:42:04I would say you have not.
Guest00:42:06Okay.
Vic00:42:06Hold on.
Guest00:42:06I would say that just your description of the plot and what you, uh, enjoyed about the movie, it says to me that it will probably be something I don't watch.
Vic00:42:16Hold on now, hold on because I do have a quadrant score, so this may convince you. Okay, sure. So for the plot. It's pretty much an a is very straightforward. I actually read Hamlet. I read Hamlet in high school. Uh, I, by the way, I saw my son's reading list for next year for, for his freshman year, and they're like a whole bunch of books. I have not read any of them and I'm not going to tell you what they are. Cause it's so embarrassing, but I'm going to read books that, uh, for the
Guest00:42:42first time that he's read it. Yes, I'm doing that. So I read the Iliad.
Vic00:42:45I just read the Iliad and I'm he's already finished to kill a mockingbird. You were right, Sonny. I didn't finish it yet. I'm way behind on the killer bird. Um, I don't know. So it's a co-education. It is co-educational. So I'm looking forward to learning. I'm looking forward to it. Yeah. Yeah.
Sonny00:43:01I just love, I just love Vic's journey through, you know, ninth grade honors.
Vic00:43:06It's the re-education of Vic Mattis. That's what it's called.
Sonny00:43:09It's really, it's really amazing.
Vic00:43:10Uh, Vic Mattis. Um, okay. So the plot, a, and also by the way, when in doubt, thank you. That's right.
Guest00:43:18Uh, when he makes his living off the written word, let us
Vic00:43:22remind you, the whole thing is, the whole thing is, is, is a scam. Okay. A sham.
Sonny00:43:28Writing is bullshit. Reading bullshit.
Vic00:43:30It's the biggest secret of all. Uh, so when in doubt, whenever I'm watching this, like what the heck is happening over here and it's like totally, you know, trippy, well, yes, you could blame it on the henbane, the henbane, that's what they drink, right? That's what the Vikings drink. It's made from these various plants like mandrake and different things. It's very Harry Potter-like. So I think that's where the Vikings stole it from. They stole it from Harry Potter. But, you know, what is the, what's the school, you'll know it, Matt will know. What's the name of the school, the, what is the school that does all the plants and stuff like that?
Guest00:44:01Oh, I'm not, I'm not a big Harry Potter guy, but JVL's much more a Harry Potter guy. Oh, that's right.
Vic00:44:05That's JVL. And I'm sure.
Guest00:44:07My wife would know Harry Potter, but you know, I only got, I only read through the first three books. I could never, I could never, yeah.
Vic00:44:14I could never get through the fourth book.
Guest00:44:16I watched all the movies, but I, but I don't know the trivia.
Vic00:44:20So did I, so did I, I think it may be. It's Hufflepuff. Okay. So anyway, that plot is an a duration is a D that was a long one. It's long, not necessarily F because, uh, it's a little over two hours and I was prime mostly entertained throughout the action and violence gets the very rare a plus plus plus, and for one of them, that's one reason, the other reason it was completely gratuitous, but the, the, the guard that walks inside at the end and he's holding it, his intestines and they just spill out. And I'm like, wow, how could this, how did the sword do that? He must've dug it in and then swirled it around.
Sonny00:44:59And then took it out across and then, you know, your, your, your intestines are really, they're all coiled up in there. It's like, there's not, there's not a lot of space.
Vic00:45:10And you know what they, you know, they, they say, you know, you stretch out your intestines that goes on for miles, around the moon, around the moon, it's around the moon, right? If you can't like the small, oh yeah, absolutely. Okay. Uh, and sex.
Sonny00:45:22It's like, it's like opening up a can of silly string. And it's like, oh, it's just like the snakes in the can.
Vic00:45:28Oh, I remember, uh, the, the Hannibal movie and the detective who gets gutted in Venice and the kill bill.
Guest00:45:36Isn't there too some in some of the samurai scenes, some disemboweling where you see the innards. That's right.
Vic00:45:42So, uh, and the sex and nudity is an interesting grade. It's an interesting grade because it's a B okay. Is there, there is sex and there's nudity, but it's too far away. You see a butt. You just see one butt. It's very small. Well, I see hers. That's close up, but everything else is at a distance and I'm like, I'm squinting. I'm like, what is happening? Get your binoculars out. Oh, what they don't, there was a woman who was sacrificed and she's upside down. And yeah, and I was, Sonny went.
Sonny00:46:08Are you going to, are you going to, uh, buy this movie so you can watch it on your laptop and zoom in? I can zoom in.
Vic00:46:15I said, oh, now I see what's happening. No, I really was squinting. So, um, it gets a B. Where were you at? I was at the movies.
Sonny00:46:22Who is the woman who was sacrificed upside down?
Vic00:46:24You know, when they find out it's like payback and all of it, you know, like, so the woman who was supposed to be sacrificed, she gets to live because of all the other violence that's going on outside. And then they open the door and there's a woman and there's like two bodies and it's hard to figure out what's going on.
Sonny00:46:39So, well, it was, no, it was those two, two soldiers who had been put together like a horse. Well, that was in the beginning outside. Oh yeah. At the, uh, anyway.
Vic00:46:49Yeah. The, the one I'm talking about, that was a woman. Upside down. Okay.
Sonny00:46:53I don't remember that.
Vic00:46:54Also her, what is the name of the actress, the lead ad, the female?
Sonny00:46:58Anya Taylor Joy.
Vic00:46:59Yes. And that's full frontal, but it's, it's, it's, uh, you know, the thing that she, she, I won't get into it. We're in mixed company. We're in mixed company. I can't describe what happens. She throws that thing in his face. I'm like, oh, it's lovely. Okay. So.
Sonny00:47:13Right. Her blood.
Vic00:47:14Yeah. You got demerits for the blood. Okay. Demerits.
Sonny00:47:16You don't want that. You're just like Fjolnir. You're disgusted. You're just, she's not. Yeah. She's not clean for you. That's right.
Vic00:47:25She has the hair of a Valkyrie, as they say. Uh, okay. I was fascinated. I love historical stuff like this because I'll spend my, and I've had this conversation on the shows before. Um, um, I watch a movie and, and I'll spend the rest of my time trying to piece together what is happening in the world and where are we when this is happening? And I find it fascinating. I don't know a lot about Viking culture and the Viking era takes place, Matt, in 985 AD. And it is a reminder, uh, that there were worse times to be born in. No, I'm just kidding. You know, everyone says, oh, this is the worst. This is the worst. I get it.
Sonny00:48:01I get it.
Vic00:48:01Yeah.
Guest00:48:02I mean, you're not a, you're not a Viking buff, uh, Vic. You don't watch the Viking show.
Vic00:48:07No, I know our friend, Mike Goldfarb is a big fan and I think it does very well on those quadrants, but, uh, no. And what, where is that on? Is that like a, a Showtime show?
Guest00:48:15I think it was an AMC show and then it moved to Netflix.
Sonny00:48:19I thought it was on like the History Channel. Or yeah, maybe it was History Channel and then it moved to Netflix.
Vic00:48:22I thought there might be some competing ones, but no, I, I, I, I wasn't. So, um, most of my knowledge comes from playing the Vikings on Civilization. So I, I was, when I saw the, I recognized the Berserkers cause they had the, you know, they're holding two axes. I said, holy shit. I said, this is going to happen. And boy, did they go berserk.
Sonny00:48:41Did you, did you like, uh, the, the part at the end of that battle where they put all the children and old women into the house and then burned it down?
Vic00:48:48It is something.
Sonny00:48:49And we're dancing around and cheering.
Vic00:48:51It is a reminder. It is a reminder that, uh, that savagery has been with us for thousands of years. And that particular form of savagery has been done for a very long time, up to the present, up to the present.
Sonny00:49:03Uh, remember Jason Isaacs in the Patriot historical docudrama.
Vic00:49:08Thank you. Yes, that's right. Lord Havington. Uh, okay. So one, okay. But I do have complaints. One subtitles. I need more subtitles when they're speaking English. I need subtitles.
Sonny00:49:18Not just what I was. I wanted to ask you was, is it, it had a very. Christopher Nolan problem in that I, I had trouble understanding most of the dialogue.
Vic00:49:27And it's, I wondered, is it partly because they want to speak in the language of the time? I get that. They don't want to have like a modern conversation like we're having because it would seem weird. And everyone's saying this is the most accurate depiction of the Vikings ever on film. Um, I actually did not mind when they went back and forth between old Norse and our English because, you know, I like it. It's cool. Again, it's foreign. It's something completely different, uh, from what. We've been watching and just, you know, the same movies we see all the time. And so it's like, oh, here's something completely different. Customs, completely foreign practices, religion. Everything was really, really interesting. Um, so yeah, I, I liked it. Um, I had a thought which was, would it have been because you were talking about scars guard and you know, his acting and everything else, it would it have been too off the nose if they cast Chris Hemsworth in this role would have been funny. It would have been funny. It would have, you know, it would have been weird. Okay.
Guest00:50:24But he wouldn't want to do that. Right. I mean, he wouldn't want to be this berserk. He's too, now he's like, you know, America's golden boy, even though he's Australian. Yeah. And I think it's, you know, he doesn't want to get down and dirty like this, does he?
Sonny00:50:36He just, he wants to make comedies. He's very funny. He thinks he's, he's, he, he can do comedy. He is very funny.
Vic00:50:43So the other thing is, and I thought the, the, the, the final battle was actually anticlimactic for me. They're fighting in the lava, you know? The son, the uncle and the nephew. That's okay. And it looked a little fake.
Sonny00:50:56Definitely.
Guest00:50:57Well, so I'm just coming, again, I'm coming in blind, but isn't this a Revenge of the Sith reference? I mean, isn't it like, isn't that the iconic battle in lava? Like, you can't beat that, right?
Vic00:51:11That's right. And in fact, right before the uncle dies, he said, you were the chosen one. And then he got his head cut off.
Guest00:51:16But then that, what does Fjolnir say? If you're not with me, you're against me, you know?
Vic00:51:22We all know, that's how those people speak. That's how they speak. There was some, obviously there's CGI there, but I'd like to think that they filmed on location. I'll be so disappointed if you tell me it was all CGI, because I'd like to think they filmed on location in Iceland. It was beautiful.
Sonny00:51:39Well, I don't know. I think they filmed some of it on location in Iceland. I think most of the film was actually shot in Ireland, is my understanding. The farm, all the stuff at the farm, I think was, so basically the last house was half of the film, not including, I suppose, the volcano fight, but that was shot.
Vic00:52:00I'm sorry JVL isn't here, because he actually, he's been to Iceland, and he would have been able to tell us about those hot baths, the spas, those natural pools of water where you could just hang out there with women. What I needed, I think ultimately in the end, was a map, because I want to know what direction we're going. We're going in here. Were they in Greenland? Were they even further out west? Did they go to Iceland? Also, when they raid the village in that horrifying pillaging scene, right? They raid the village. Who were the people protecting the village? They look like Huns, you know? And I'm like, it can't be. There was no crossover, but they looked like them with the bows. It was really interesting. I tried searching. The internet could not find.
Sonny00:52:45Well, they were, I want to say they were like Russian, right? They were the roots.
Vic00:52:48Yeah, they were. Maybe they could have been Tatars or something.
Sonny00:52:52The movie does not hold your hand at all. The Northman does not hold your hand at all. You're thrown into the deep water and you just, you go with it. You sink or swim, which I admire in certain ways. And I think works better with The Witch than it does here because that is a more contained movie. I mean, it takes place almost entirely in one, on like one little farmhouse in New England. There is a lot. There's just a lot going on. And the dialogue that they, so. They actually, they did some test screenings and people were like, what the fuck is happening in this movie? So they added expository dialogue that they then dubbed in. But they had to do it in such a way that it, I mean, first off, it's hard. It was hard for me to understand anything that was being said in the movie anyway because of the accents. But the, but on top of that, they had to like write the lines of dialogue to match the things that they were dubbing over. Which leads to very weird, like, all right. It has to be five syllables. Second syllable has to be an L sound. Last syllable has to be a T sound. I mean, it's like, it was a nightmare. Wow. So, I don't know.
Vic00:54:01Yeah, again, and I'm firmly, you know, it was a reminder of how awful things were when the, when Rome fell. Sort of this, not that there was much interaction at that point because they're so far up north. But man, the only thing that I thought they brought to the table were the long ships. That they could do well. The Vikings. Long ships. Very impressive. But man, other than that.
Sonny00:54:25Are you just talking about Civ again?
Vic00:54:27Yeah, I am.
Guest00:54:27I mean, are the long ships in the movie?
Vic00:54:29Yes. Oh, yeah. And that's impressive. But other than that, they're savages. So, okay. Do you have any other thoughts, Sonny? No. No, I'm glad you liked it. I did. I did. So, you know, I hope I like the next one. Otherwise, that's it for me. Otherwise, that's it for me. One more week of Vic. One more week of Vic. I'm handing you my resignation. Thank God. Matt, I'm sorry. I have a few minutes left. You've been through this. You've been through this routine on radio shows and TV. Oh, we only have a few seconds left really quickly. What's your take on The Batman? You did not like it. You saw it. That you went to the theater to see. Oh, no. You saw it on TV.
Guest00:55:07No, no. I only saw it once. You know, one of the features of the new house is a movie room. So, I have my movie room now. Well, I don't have actually.
Vic00:55:18I'm not that far from you.
Guest00:55:20You know, this is still not. It's a complete vic because I have my television for the movie room. Did you buy a new TV? Oh, yeah. What'd you get? I got a big one. But the recliners I bought are not there yet. Oh, my gosh. So, I'm sitting on like, you know, one of my kids' chairs in my movie room watching The Batman on my really big TV. And no one was having fun in that movie.
Vic00:55:51That's a good way to put it.
Guest00:55:53The only person who was coming close to having fun was Colin Farrell. Colin Farrell's great. And he was like my favorite part of the movie. And I could deal with emo Batman. I kind of like Robert Pattinson. I liked him in Tenet, a movie that I actually overall didn't really care for. Also hard to understand.
Vic00:56:11Yeah, kind of the same in this movie.
Guest00:56:12I liked Pattinson, but I didn't like the movie overall. It was very emo. But it was just glum. And speaking about length, it was so long that I couldn't finish it in one night. I had to break it up into two. And then I just, you know, we only have a few minutes left. I will say, I think one of the key problems of the Batman is Paul Dano.
Vic00:56:37Oh, I was going to ask you about him.
Guest00:56:39I don't like his Riddler at all. No. And I especially don't like how he suddenly raises his voice.
Vic00:56:44Oh, it's a falsetto. It's a falsetto, too. And he's singing Ave Maria. Yeah, what's that? I don't know why.
Guest00:56:52Because I guess it was a Catholic orphanage he was. I don't know. It wasn't the same. So it made me really worried about the sequel.
Sonny00:57:00I mean, Paul Dano's Joker, you mean, not the Riddler. Paul Dano's. No, I'm talking about. Because it's like Heath Ledger's Joker. It's the same exact character.
Vic00:57:07It's the same character.
Guest00:57:07So here's the key. Here's the key. And I was thinking about this. Heath Ledger's Joker and Jack Nicholson's Joker were both having fun. Even though Heath Ledger's Joker is this nihilistic, violent terrorist, he's still having fun while he's doing this. And like for me, the emblematic image of The Dark Knight is that scene after Heath Ledger escapes from the Gotham PD. And he's like in the back of the police car and his head is out the window because he's a dog. As he said earlier, I'm like the dog who's going to catch the car when I know what to do with it. And there's like little, there's this evil joy that's going on there that's completely missing from Paul Dano. And his replay of Seven, you know, I mean, it's just, and then it made me, it made me concerned about the, the inevitable sequel to this movie too, because they set up this Barry Keogh actor as the Joker and his Joker just seems just kind of, you know, like, come on, the key to these villains is there's some charisma. Even, even Tom Hardy's Bane had that, I think, in The Dark Knight Rises where, you know, it's like, he kind of got the joke, like the voice is. It's kind of a joke, you know, but it, yeah, it works. And so I just, it was just missing fun. You know, that's the thing.
Vic00:58:28One of our big complaints on the show, Matt, was that, uh, the second, or what do you want to call it? I guess the third act, the, the plot at Madison Square Garden with the shootout and then the flooding seemed completely unrelated to the movie and it just happens.
Guest00:58:44They don't set up the plan at all. They don't even have a shot of like the cars. It's all of a sudden it's like, I set up these things.
Vic00:58:51And I'm talking really loud and it's like, hold it. What's happening here.
Guest00:58:56Yeah. And even though I thought the action was pretty good in that scene, it was like, still was like, what? Please. It's two different movies.
Vic00:59:03I wish it ended at the diner when they arrested him and that's it. I would have been happy if the last thing you see is this coffee cup with the question bar. Okay, good. I'll leave it. That's it.
Sonny00:59:13We're done. Yeah. Three endings you said. I mean, the, the problem, the problem with that ending is that it's not only that it's completely unconnected to anything else in the plot, it's completely unconnected to anything else thematically. So like it, it, it, it, if, if, if the whole thing had been set up where you have the savior mayor who's gonna come in, she's gonna, you know, she's the future of the city, right? The AOC figure, right? That, okay, fine. Then it has to, she has to turn out to be just as corrupt as everybody else. Like for that last sequence to work for that last sequence to work, she has to be as corrupt as everybody else and like her, her saving the city has to be a false promise and that is why the insane murder of everybody at the Madison Square Garden happens, right? Like it's, it's, you know, but instead it's just like, nah, we're gonna, uh, Paul Dano who has only, uh, up to this point killed people who have done, who have done bad things and who have been, you know, wicked or done, done bad things against the city, right? Instead she, he's just like, yeah, we're gonna kill everybody for fun because it doesn't make any sense.
Vic01:00:15Don't make any sense. Okay. Uh, spirit of the week, Matt, you drinking anything right now?
Guest01:00:21I wish I could have refilled my glass about minutes ago. Yeah. I was, uh, I was drinking a bloom gin. I think. Wow.
Vic01:00:32Tonic gin.
Guest01:00:33Oh, nice.
Vic01:00:34Very nice. I'm a gin drinker. Yeah. Bloom. Yeah, of course. Uh, very nice. All right. Uh, corrections, shout outs, anything. We're good. All right. That is all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, compliments. Tweet us at Sonny Bunch at victory at Victoria Madison. Are you at continuity? Is that it? Yeah. The one and only. Yeah. Again, be sure to subscribe to us on Patreon. Just go to subbeacon.com. We are there. Uh, tell your friends until next time. Okay. So I do have a quick, uh, question for you. Um, when you go to the movie theater, if you have a choice of where to sit, where do you sit now?
Sonny01:01:19Where do I sit?
Vic01:01:20Both of you. Yeah.
Sonny01:01:22What do you like? Uh, I, I mostly just try to stay away from other people. That's like, yeah.
Vic01:01:26So it doesn't matter where, as long as you're away from people, I like to sit on the aisle
Sonny01:01:30so I can like, if I have to go to the bathroom, I can just run out and come right back. Um, but I like being near the center, near the theater.
Guest01:01:37Yeah.
Vic01:01:38I like having a good, I used to, I used to feel that way. And then now it was like, I want to be towards the aisle so I can just make a quick getaway. And now I, you know what I do? I, I choose the handicap chairs in the back. And they say, when you click it on, because they're the very last seat, there's nobody, there's lots of space around you that there's lots of space, right? And they say, uh, you have chosen, uh, a seat, a special seat. They don't say handicap seat. They don't say that. Right. But they say you have chosen a special seat. Um, if they are taken, we cannot guarantee like somehow they know on my AMC profile that I don't have any problems, I guess. But they say, uh, if they're taken, we cannot guarantee you will have another seat. They say, yes, I'm fine if I have to move. Right. So I always sit there.
Guest01:02:25Hold on. So you're saying that disabled people don't need to reserve that seat.
Vic01:02:28They just show up and they go there. Yes. I believe so. I believe so that they, I don't know if, I mean, I think they still have to pay, but they have preference.
Guest01:02:37Because kind of what you're doing superficially is the equivalent of parking in a handicap spot.
Sonny01:02:42Maybe. Maybe. You're using, you're using the handicap stall in the bathroom.
Guest01:02:45No. Oh, it's far worse than that. It's far worse than that.
Sonny01:02:49But there's nobody there.
Guest01:02:50Handicap stall. All those handicaps. In and out.
Vic01:02:53Handicap stall. Those handy, those handicap spaces. Nobody uses that. So it drives me crazy. And so I'm using them, I'm using them because I'm sitting in the back that I can make a quick getaway and there's nobody around and nobody's there in the theater. Nobody's in the theater anyway. So much to my surprise, I'm watching the Northman. Some guy said, I said, that's my move. How dare you pick my, do my thing because I like to do that.
Guest01:03:15He's an able-bodied person as well.
Vic01:03:16Well, I assume he is. And then the light came on, he was missing a leg.
Sonny01:03:21So you were sitting in the one legged man's chair. Yeah, I'm sure that's fine.
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