#101. 'Morbius'
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The main event is Morbius, Sony's Jared Leto vampire movie, which opened to $39 million, and all three hosts pan it: Vic runs it through his Quadrant system and lands on an NA-or-F for plot ("plot F for fucking stupid," he clarifies), a B+ for duration (it felt long despite an 87-minute runtime), a C for action/violence (the climax is "the battle of who gives a shit"), and an F for sex and nudity even by PG-13 standards. Sonny argues the movie exists purely to set up Sony's Spider-Verse via two baffling mid-credits scenes featuring Michael Keaton's Vulture that reference a Spider-Man who has never appeared in this "Venomverse," and he spends much of the review teasing out an unmistakable homoerotic subtext between Morbius and Matt Smith's Milo (Milo's jealous glares, his post-transformation dance number), while JVL, who also thinks it's a mess of incoherent CGI and script problems, floats the theory that a vindictive editor hacked fifty minutes out of a much longer cut. JVL and Sonny also spar over whether Jared Leto counts as a real movie star, and Sonny compares the glut of second-tier Sony/Marvel adaptations to the early-1990s comic book bubble that eventually burst. The episode opens with an extended run of banter: JVL recaps his kids' rec-league baseball team getting rained out on Opening Day and workshops a "moneyball" batting order built around wildly mismatched player heights, which spirals into a long, deliberately offensive tangent about Crusader-versus-Conquistador team names and bad popes; Sonny announces his renewed Alamo Drafthouse season pass, reviews Ti West's X (which he quadrant-grades highly but still calls "a bit of a wank"), and previews trips to see Ambulance and Sonic the Hedgehog 2; there's a shared gripe session about tax season and Jim Carrey's retirement announcement; and Vic complains about his dead furnace and reports that a rewatch of A Few Good Men hasn't aged well. They close by fantasizing about doing a live Sub-Beacon show from a strip club in Vegas.
From the show notes
JVL plays middle school Moneyball. Sonny's life improves. Vic's life sucks! Speaking of sucks ...
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00♪ People are strange ♪ Doctor Michael Morbius, you've been missing for two months. ♪ When you're a stranger ♪ Then you were found on a container ship that washed up off a long island. ♪ Faces look ugly ♪ ♪ When you're alone ♪ Jody! What did you do to yourself, Doctor? I wish I knew.
?00:00:30♪ It's been a long time ♪ ♪ It's been a long time ♪ ♪ It's been a long time ♪ ♪ It's been a long time ♪
Vic00:00:40Hello and welcome to another edition of The Sub-Beacon. I'm Victor Matus along with Jonathan V. Last and Sonny Bunch. Just a reminder, The Sub-Beacon is now available through Patreon. Go to subbeacon.com, you'll easily find us. Please subscribe, tell your friends, and don't forget about the Sub-Beacon merchandise store at tpublic.com. Gentlemen, how are we? JVL, what is going on?
JVL00:01:04I had promised you guys last week that this would be post our first game. - Yes. - And so I have an update for you. And big news. Big news. We were rained out today. - Yes. - Which means that my team remains undefeated. Today was the day. Today was opening day.
Sonny00:01:22So wait, your opening day is the same as Major League Baseball's opening day?
JVL00:01:25As the Nats', I mean, as it would be. - I find it... - That's a little bit presumptuous. funny that for opening day, we had a matchup featuring the Crusaders against the Conquistadors. Oh, wow. In the most offensively Catholic nicknames possibly imaginable. Why not? Like, is there not the Inquisitors? I would be on the Inquisitors. I would be Coach Torquemada.
Sonny00:01:54I think... Look, man, I think... Great names. Great names. You're just embracing great cultures through history. That's right. Superior. Conquistadors.
Vic00:02:04Yes, Conquistadors, which could actually settle cities, by the way. You know... Oh, sorry.
Sonny00:02:08The Conquistadors showed up here. We've all seen Apocalypto, all right? Yes, yes. The Conquistadors showed up and they destroyed the rotten, human-sacrificing civilization.
Vic00:02:21I'm surprised. Why didn't he just do... Mel Gibson we're talking about here. Why did Mel Gibson just do a sequel to Apocalypto? It's after the ships arrive, because you have the... Even though they never met the Mayans, this never happened, and we don't... I mean, is this supposed to be Cortez? It's unclear to me, but it...
Sonny00:02:43Mayans, Aztecs.
Vic00:02:44You know. I always wondered, and I read somewhere it was supposed to be some other obscure tribe, I think. I had read this somewhere, because people are asking, because I assumed initially it was Aztecs, then you learned it's the Mayans, but wait a minute, the Mayans disappeared, disappeared, as you will, you can see me with my quote marks, then the Aztecs took over.
Sonny00:03:03Also, it's not like the Mayans' hands were totally clean on the, like... The sacrifice? Abusing... No, no, absolutely. Abusing humans for the pleasure of their gods' purposes, so...
Vic00:03:15I've been to those pyramids. I've been to those pyramids. Very tall, steep steps, by the way.
Sonny00:03:20I can't believe you got up them, frankly.
Vic00:03:23No, not Machu Picchu. Tulum. Tulum. Anyway. JVL, sorry, I'm sorry. We got a little off course there.
Sonny00:03:30So it's the Conquistadors versus the... Crusaders. The Crusaders. Conquistadors. That's a really... Which Crusades? That's important. Some of the Crusades were better than the other ones.
Vic00:03:39Yes, the first one was, I think, the best one, wasn't it?
JVL00:03:42The ones where they abused altar boys? I don't know.
Sonny00:03:44Oh, no. Well, that's terrible. I thought that's... That one ended like a year ago. When was... It was the 17th Crusade?
JVL00:03:51I don't know. So I... I'm trying to... Trying to figure out how we're gonna moneyball our way through this season, because we... As I said, we have a... I'm... I'm not going to be able to start nine... Nine players who have all played baseball before. Some of our starters... Some of our starters will be taking a baseball... Taken to a baseball field for the first time in their young lives.
Vic00:04:18I think you mix it up. You mix it up, and you need somebody very strong as your closer.
JVL00:04:23Well, so one... One of the things I'm gonna do, because my... My team is really split between people who have gone through puberty and people who have not gone through puberty, and I literally have half the team is five, seven and above, and half the team is like four foot four and below.
Vic00:04:39Yeah. Yeah. It's funny how...
JVL00:04:40And so I actually have... My lineup, alternating. Big, little, big, little.
Vic00:04:45Oh, okay. You do it that way. I was gonna say big, middle in the... Assumption... Then little in the middle, and then big again. That's what I was thinking.
JVL00:04:50No. On the... On the assumption that it will... The strike zone will vary so drastically from batter to batter that it will give opposing pitchers fits.
Sonny00:04:59It'll throw the pitchers... We need to run this by Bill James because I got a theory that... What would you do, Sonny? The best thing to do would just be to put all of your good players first. Okay. Well... Just put your best players first.
JVL00:05:14They're all good players, Sonny. And that's it. That's it. I don't draw value judgments. You put... What you should do is you should
Sonny00:05:20put the ones who can hit for power third and fourth. The speed guys first. And then, you know, as you go down the... The worse you go, the lower they go.
JVL00:05:33We're just gonna have to get on base a lot, Sonny. This is... Yeah, you gotta work the counts. We're gonna be playing small ball. We're gonna have a lot of walks, teaching the kids to lean in and get hit by pitches.
Sonny00:05:43Look, you joke. You joke. But those pitchers are gonna wear their arms out.
Vic00:05:48So, Sonny, your strategy is heavy first, big hitters, big hitters first, and then...
Sonny00:05:53Teach 'em stances. You gotta get 'em... You gotta get 'em hunkered down, you know, really minimize that strike zone. Get in close to the plate, Braden.
Vic00:06:00I'd say... I'd say one or... Save one or two for, like, at the very end of your roster.
Sonny00:06:05You gotta get 'em, like, the Barry Bonds armor.
JVL00:06:09I do. I do have... I do have one thing I wanna try, though. 'Cause I... I'm gonna let Flash pitch the end of games. I'm not gonna start him. A, because I don't want, like... End of games, yes. ...Coach's kid starting. But B, because you don't want him pitching three innings, and then... That's right. ...you know, some normal kid comes in, throwing 50 miles an hour after him, and it looks like a... It looks like a matzo ball floating, you know, on...
Sonny00:06:35Uh, no, I... I'm sorry. That's the wrong faith tradition. It looks like a spicy meatball.
JVL00:06:40A spicy meatball.
Sonny00:06:41It looks like a spicy meatball. That's right.
Vic00:06:42I wouldn't say matzo ball, right? Although it is almost Passover, so...
JVL00:06:46So, uh, I... Anyway, so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna bring him in, probably, for... To pitch 5, 6, 7. But I... I believe what I would like to do is I... I have this really fantastic, very talented kid who happens to be in fifth grade, and I'm gonna bring him in as the setup man for Flash, because this kid is quite good, but again, he's 4'1", and he... He... He's... He can throw strikes from the... From 60 feet, at 4'1". They're just, like, you know, it's almost like an Ephus pitch, you know? It's, like, really slow and really... Bring him in for, like, phase three batters or so, and then bring Flash... I... I just feel like it will... It will make people pass out. It'll be a fantastic setup. So we're gonna do a lot of stuff like that. Trying to use our size, uh, to our advantage. Very excited. And when we play the Inquisitors, uh, who... What... Are there any other, like, super offensive names? That's not offensive at all.
Vic00:07:54What other names could use? Strong disagree. It's part of history. Accept it. Templar. The Knights Templar. The Knights Templar.
Sonny00:08:02Who are some of the bad popes? Who was Hitler's pope?
Vic00:08:05No, Hitler's pope was not Hitler's pope. That's a misnomer. Pius XII. Pius XII was actually very good. You could... The pie guys. No. You know what you're thinking? The Borgias. That's what you're thinking, Sonny. The Borgias. The Borgias. The one... There's the one Borgia pope who was so bad, he's not allowed... He's not even buried at St. Peter's. He's, like, away from there. Anyway, Sonny... With his children. He's buried with his children. How you doing, Sonny?
Sonny00:08:28You all right? I'm good. I'm just trying to... I'm trying to think of, like, really... The Spotlights. That could be a...
JVL00:08:35A great movie. I'm trying to think of the most
Sonny00:08:37offensive thing I can say about my Catholic friends here. I'm sorry. I want to apologize to the fathers. It is... But it is... Father Harrison, Father Shrava, sorry. It's still a good movie. I don't mean to... I don't mean to... I don't mean to be rude.
Vic00:08:53Another movie, by the way, about, you know, inspiring you to become a good journalist, except for... It's, like, none of the areas I'm interested in, but, if you were, about investigative journalism. No, the movie that inspired me to
Sonny00:09:04become a journalist was Shattered Glass. Yeah, that's right. You wanted to be just like Stephen Koss. It's a movie that inspired me to remain a journalist, because I was already a journalist at the time. The Bishop Stricklands. It came out in 2005 or whatever, and I was like, you know what? Sonny, yeah. It's like, that's what I want to be. I want to be the guy writing for Rolling Stone and George...
Vic00:09:22Yeah, that's right. That's right. Writing for George was JVL... I'm sorry, we'll get to Sonny in a second. Did you ever write for George? And I wanted to, because I thought that was the play. Forget about Esquire. This is the hot magazine.
JVL00:09:37This is the place to write. So George launched right around the same time as The Old Place. And, in fact, very famously, there was a handwritten note from John John to Bill Kristol thanking him, because I think The Standard was launched first. And it was thanking Bill for taking time to meet with him to just help him talk through what it was like to start a magazine. And I think I remember hearing the story about when John John came through the office for his sit down with Bill. It was before we were there, right. And I believe the... J-Pod will tell me if this is apocryphal, but the lore is that every 24-year-old girl in the office showed up, ready to go. Just on the off chance that they could catch John John's eye. Anyway, but yes, the answer is, I would have killed anybody in my entire family to have written
Vic00:10:43a single, like 300 word item for the front of George. Because they had their own version of
JVL00:10:50Talk of the Town. J- You know what it was?
Vic00:10:51You know what I was mostly jealous about is because their contributors page, you got a little picture and a little description. And instead I'm reading Stephen Glasses.
JVL00:11:04J- Yeah. But you know what? Look at him and then look at us now.
Sonny00:11:09Yeah, look at him. J- Here we are. That asshole can't even get his, he can't even pass the bar out in California.
JVL00:11:15J- With our own podcasts and editing our websites.
Sonny00:11:19Podcast galore, podcast galore. J- We've got so many podcasts. We have a veritable podcast empire. The three of us,
JVL00:11:26you know, we're like a ringer. J- We were the big winners.
Vic00:11:30J- Basically almost every day of the week you could hear one of the three of us. Okay. Sonny,
Sonny00:11:36what's going on? J- Not a whole lot. Oh, big news. Big news in my life. Very, very important thing has happened. The Alamo Drafthouse Dallas has restarted their season pass program. J- Who did you join? J- Sign up for it. Sign up for it immediately. Going to see a movie tonight. It was a week ago or it was Sunday or something. But I went and saw X, the Thai West horror movie X. Would have killed on the quadrants if we had done it. J- I've never heard of this. J- Let me tell you what this movie is about. It's a horror film. It's called X. X. It's called X. Rated R. J- Not rated X. J- Not rated X. It's called X. It's rated R. If I was going to do a big boy review, X from Studio A24 is about a group of Texas pornographers who go out to a house in the countryside to make a low-budget amateur porn that they will sell in the style of Deep Throat around the country only to confront a wicked old couple that wants to murder them for their horniness. This is an A+++.
Vic00:12:50Sonny, this is like if you and I sat down to write a screenplay, the result would be this movie because I would do the porn part, you'd do the horror part. JVL, you're not a whore,
Sonny00:13:01he's not a whore. Aaron Harrison would put up the entire budget. It would be produced by Aaron Harrison. Aaron Harrison would produce, Michael Goldfarb would run advertising and casting.
JVL00:13:12Is this done straight-faced, Sonny, or is it intentionally grindhouse style? It's a movie
Sonny00:13:19about movies, JVL. It's all about when you make a movie, they tell you you got to have the sex and the violence and horror and porn are so close to each other. I bet it's, what, an hour and a half? It's short. It's about 100 minutes. It's about 100 minutes. Once again, it would A on length, A+ on violence, A+++ on sex and nudity, and probably an A on plot. I mean, it's not difficult to follow. No, it's pretty straightforward.
JVL00:13:51You might have some questions. It sounds like you don't like it.
Sonny00:13:52I didn't. It's a bit of a wank, if you will. It's a bit of a wank. Anyway, so I went to see that. That was my inaugural season pass movie because I was like, I would never pay full price just to go see this, but it was leaving theaters that week. I was like, if I'm going to see this A24 movie, A24, the big indie studio, everybody got to see all the A24 movies. I had to go see it. So anyway, season pass has started. I will be seeing Ambulance tomorrow, the new Michael Bay
Vic00:14:32movie, Ambulance. I hope most of it is not green screen. I feel like I've seen that trailer a bunch of times now.
Sonny00:14:41So there is a little bit of CGI in it, I hear, but there were all sorts of clips going around when he was shooting. Oh, good.
Vic00:14:48Michael Bay shot it, and there were clips of him-
Sonny00:14:50Car crashes. Almost getting killed in a car crash, car flipping, headed towards him. So there's a lot of practical effects. There is some CGI, is my understanding. Also, though, we'll talk about this more, I think, because this is going to be on Netflix in two weeks, I think. It's in theaters. It's got a two-week run in theaters, and it's going to be- Work for us. On Netflix. But yeah, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it. Anyway, I'm excited. I'm going to ... My victory rewards rankings in Alamo land are going to be so high, I'm going to be going to see two, three movies a week. You can't stop me. You can't keep me out of there.
JVL00:15:28I will be using my Alamo season pass tomorrow to see Sonic the Hedgehog 2.
Sonny00:15:34Oh, you're going to take the kids? You're just going by yourself.
JVL00:15:38G-Money is as excited for Sonic 2 as Victorino and I were for The Phantom Menace. I cannot believe the level... He has been talking about this now for a solid two months. Like, oh boy, it's coming on April 8th. I can't wait. Can we go on April 8th? Can
Vic00:16:03we go on opening night? I can't even get through the trailer, which I think he has a partner now or a counter. Tails.
JVL00:16:10Tails. It's one of the... It's like, Tails is Luigi to Sonic's Mario. Wait, but who's...
Sonny00:16:17Who's Idris Elba? That's Knuckles.
JVL00:16:19Knuckles, yes. Knuckles. Who becomes a good guy. Knuckles is a good guy eventually. You know, I don't know if you saw, but Jim Carrey has announced that, I guess, with the finishing of principal photography on Sonic 2, he feels like he's ready to step away from acting because he... He's done it all. As he said, "I feel like I've done enough." Did you see this? No.
Vic00:16:39He's done enough. So not retiring because of his age.
JVL00:16:43No, just like he feels like he's done enough to get into the Hall of Fame or whatever.
Vic00:16:47You know, I don't know. I always think about this. If I had, I don't know, 10, 20 million as a person who is not rich, you would think, "Okay, I'm done now and I'll just have a little comfortable life." But of course, the rich people, that's not how they operate. You know what 10 million means? 10 million means there's somebody out there with 100, and 100 million means there's somebody out there with a billion.
Sonny00:17:06I'm sorry. No, but if you're Jim Carrey and you make a movie for $20 million, first of all, half that gone to taxes, you got to pay 20% to your, 15% to your agent, 10% to your manager, and that comes out of your pre-tax money. By the time he gets money, it's like that $20 million check, it's like 20 bucks. So he's got to keep working. Man, that's awful. That's just unfair. That's how they get you. That's terrible. Especially out in California, tax rates out in California, you're kidding me. Oh, terrible. Yeah, that's right. 20 bucks. 20 bucks for Jim Carrey. $20 million all the way down to $20.
Vic00:17:42Thank you for breaking that down during tax season. It's very useful for our listeners out there. I did my taxes, I did my taxes this week. Congratulations.
Sonny00:17:48God, that was always fun. One of us did. Congratulations. Not yet.
JVL00:17:51That was always fun. This weekend.
Sonny00:17:54I love stroking that $6,000 direct deposit right to the federal government out of my bank.
JVL00:18:01It's always a lot of fun. You got away with only 6K?
Sonny00:18:05Yeah, I do some creative accounting. That's such personal information on this show. I do some, well, no, it was actually a little bit less than that. I did okay.
JVL00:18:12It has been decades since I have paid the IRS. That little. Oh. Yeah. Ugh. I just got a refund.
Vic00:18:21It's the worst. I filed last month. Of course you did. How did you get a refund? Overpaid. I overpaid. I'd have to do the Virginia, the quarterly-
Sonny00:18:26You overpay? The quarterly taxes,
Vic00:18:28the quarterly taxes in the January turned out accounted for December.
Sonny00:18:31I would rather, I would rather just, I would rather, you know, it's very funny. So I use TurboTax. We've discussed this before. I use TurboTax. I got the audit protection again because it did so good for me last year. But the, you know, the, uh, when you're doing your taxes, the, the TurboTax makes you answer like six different questions. It's like, are you sure you don't want to pay quarterly because then you will avoid the underpayment fee? Are you sure you don't want it? And then it's like the underpayment fee is like, okay, now you have to pay $32. And I'm like, I, I would rather pay $32 than have to deal with this shit four times a year. Are you kidding me? You kidding me?
Vic00:19:09Yeah. I have little reminders on my phone that time. In fact, next week is April. April, my iPhone SE, which is all the talk now. Uh, cause that's something new about it.
Sonny00:19:19Aren't they bringing it back?
Vic00:19:20That is why, that's why, that's why they're bringing it back. I think call it special edition. I thought it was the senior edition, which is why I bought it.
Sonny00:19:26I just, uh, I just downloaded a new, uh, oh, speaking of phones, I just downloaded the new OS on my laptop. And, uh, let me tell you, it's exactly the same. I've never had fewer, fewer changes on an OS before. It was amazing. I love it.
Vic00:19:41It's no longer a big storage or something else.
Sonny00:19:43No, it's Catalina.
Vic00:19:44Catalina. Yeah. They're just going up and down the coast.
Sonny00:19:46Yeah. I don't, I don't quite understand. I don't quite understand how their naming system
JVL00:19:52works, but it's like, do you remember when it was cats? Yes. Jaguar leopard lion lion.
Vic00:20:00And then they just said, ah, let's just go with locations in California. Okay.
JVL00:20:05They ought to use, they ought to use Chinese labor camps. Jing wow. Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah.
Sonny00:20:14Or they can do, they can do like oppressed, uh, ethnic groups. That's right. The Uyghur.
Vic00:20:17That's right. Oh man. Well, anyway, IOS Uyghur.
Sonny00:20:22When are the conquistadors going to play the Uyghurs?
JVL00:20:26The Gurkhas.
Sonny00:20:26When are the conquistadors going to play the Han dynasty.
Vic00:20:30You know me, I would be with the Gurkhas. Um, when are they going to play the Mongols? So, uh, before I came down here to tape, uh, Kate upstairs was watching a few good men on AMC, right? Which I haven't seen in a long time. This is what, this is what, okay. JVL is like shaking his, or he's shaking, shaking his head. I said, oh, I love a few good men. It's great. Let me just watch 15 minutes of it. I don't know if it holds up the dialogue. It seemed a little cringy. Some of it, there was, I was watching the back and forth with him and Demi Moore and he's like, I want to get any with, you know, I want to, you know, at the arraignment, I'm going to ask for a new attorney to get assigned to these guys. And it was just, you know, how sometimes Tom Cruise is so over the top with this as a lawyer. And he's like, so this is what a courtroom is like. I don't know. I mean, I don't know. It just seems weird. I didn't think about this because I've, I've always loved the movie, but, uh, watching it now, I, I, I feel
JVL00:21:23like it just was a little bit off. No, no, I haven't watched it in so long that now I'm afraid
Vic00:21:29to see it. No, no, no. But some of the, you know, cause it's like, so it's like courtroom drama. It's also very Aaron Sorkin. Yeah. It's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like how we would joke about a courtroom drama now, but it was like actually normal, like the dialogue, like every, everything they say is just with such gravitas. Okay. Uh, other than that, uh, I'm cold because our furnace died. Oh no, it did. And Kate says she can't fix it. So anyway,
JVL00:21:59what are you running over there? Are you running an oil furnace? No, no, no. HVAC. It's gas. It's
Vic00:22:05gas and it's connected to the thing. But so every time it's not working and I was trying to write, you would hear it rev up and die down. And Kate's like, do you smell anything? Cause you know, the fear is always the exploding house. That's everybody's here. And the fact that like goes out and then you all die. It's a, yes, it's a gas valve that needed to be replaced, but after, because it's old, it's not even that old. The thing is we got it at the time when you can get those echo friendly furnaces with the rebates and they're not just, they're
JVL00:22:30just not. You're supposed to get 30 years out of a gas furnace. Yeah. No, no, no. How old is,
Vic00:22:35how old is this? I want to get this like 15 and they're like, well, 15 to 18 is the typical age. No, that is not right. Not for this thing. They're expensive. Do you have to replace the whole thing? The whole thing, which is why, which is why I'm pretending to do the show. It's the only reason I write another check. It sucks. You know what else sucks? Morbius took a bite out of the box office this weekend at $39 million followed by the lost city with 14.7 million and in third place, the Batman with 11 million box office thoughts. Sonny,
Sonny00:23:11what did you, what was your prediction? I got, uh, I don't, I don't know if I
Vic00:23:16made a prediction on prediction on Morbius on Morbius. Yeah, I think I, I said to, I said to
Sonny00:23:21somebody on, on Twitter, on, in DMS, like 32 to 34, which is what I thought. So I thought it was really going to tank after I thought it was going to be very heavily front loaded. It trended down all weekend. So, I mean, it was like, not, it was not well received. He got a C plus from cinema, which is bad for a comic book movie, which is very bad, which was like, uh, it did not do well, did not do well on IMDb. The Rotten Tomatoes user score is inflated because for some reason, all the Snyder cut stands are like very into this because it starts, well, I say for some reason, because it stars Jared Leto. And they think that if, if Jared Leto is successful, that Warner brothers will beg him to come back and do more Joker movies. He's not the Joker at the end of the Batman though, right? He is. Yeah, he is that or no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's very Keone. He's the Joker at the end of the Snyder cut. Yes. The nightmare vision of the future. And, and birds of prey, I believe. So he's not in birds of prey, not in birds of prey.
JVL00:24:25Uh, I think this is proof as if we needed more proof that the biggest star in movies is the name Marvel, because if just having Marvel in front of this piece of shit, even though it's Sony with a character, nobody has heard of with an actor who is not a star. And not even have it be real Marvel. Cause it's Sony Marvel. So it's all right. And it's still got to $39 million. I am $40 million. I mean, look, you could, that's astonishing. There are
Sonny00:25:01two ways to look at this though, right? Uh, what did Venom do in its opening weekend in its opening
JVL00:25:05weekend? Venom did 80 million, but it had a movie star in it and it's a popular character.
Sonny00:25:10Jared, Jared Leto is a movie star. I'm sorry. I know people like, don't like, yes, he is. He absolutely 100% is. Oscar winning, fan base, big star. Big people love Jared Leto.
JVL00:25:23What big grossing movies has he starred in?
Sonny00:25:25Dallas Buyers. Suicide Squad. Okay. Suicide Squad grossed 300 some million dollars, 330.
JVL00:25:37And he, he does appear in
Sonny00:25:39Suicide Squad. He's, he was in all the ads. Everyone wanted to see the Joker.
JVL00:25:44Uh, that's about it though. Right? I mean, this is, he is, I'm sorry. He is Tom Hardy is, is a movie star and he, he is not the lead in, but has been, you know, I'm sorry. No, he's, he's basically the lead in fury road. He's basically the lead in dark night rises. Uh,
Sonny00:26:04he's the lead in dark night rises. He's Christian Bale is the lead in dark night rises. Anne Hathaway is the second lead in dark night rises. He's like the fifth lead in dark night
JVL00:26:13rise. You don't even see his face. He's the best part of, uh, uh, Dunkirk. Like it's just an, and Venom is basically a Spider-Man character and is a character with an enormous cult following. I, and also the movie's okay. Venom the movie is okay. No, it's not that terrible. It's, it's not good, but it's basically better Sonny because his performance is so good. Look, you could watching Tom Hardy on screen in the first Venom is totally, totally, uh, enjoyable.
Sonny00:26:49Yeah. I, that movie's not good. I mean, it's the best part of the movie. He's the best part
Vic00:26:53of it. It's the best part of the movie. Him getting into a lobster tank. He's funny.
Sonny00:26:56Well him, well him doing his split personality thing where he gets to do different voices and is like arguing with himself. That's like Tom. That's like it there. It's, it's, it's weirdly like the apotheosis of Tom Hardy. Like that role is like the most Tom Hardy role you could, you could have, which is why I still think he would be great in a remake of the dark half, the, uh, uh, Stephen King book or Richard Bachman book. I can't remember which, um, but the, uh, he, where, where an author is like turned into a Dr. Jekyll, uh, Mr. Hyde sort of thing. Anyway, it doesn't neither here nor there. I, I do. So JBL, I wrote about this in my review and I'm going to run up by you because what Morbius reminds me of is the comic book glut of the 1990s. So like, if you remember the 1990s in the world of comic books, you not comic book movies, but the actual, not comic books, movies, actual comic books, you had four Spider-Man titles and
JVL00:27:49they were all enormous hits web of amazing Peter Parker, spectacular Spider-Man. I collected like
Sonny00:27:55the first five issues and amazing, right? Yeah. Yep. So that's you, you had four Spider-Man comic books. You had a, you had a bunch of like Spider-Man mini series. You had all the maxi series and then you would put Spider-Man and like ghost writer and ghost writer sales would go up. You'd put Spider-Man in, you know, Captain America, Captain America sales would go up. Right. And then, then they started making like Spider-Man side character series. There was Venom mini series. There was, and there was a Morbius series. There was a Morbius series from 92 to 95. And that's when you knew that comic book, the comic book bubble was real. That's like when you knew that things were totally out of control was when Morbius, the living vampire gets a three-year run, uh, on the spinner rack because that, that is a, that's a, he's a shit character. He's totally boring. The, the, I'm sure the art was atrocious. I'm, I mean, maybe it was fine. I don't know. I never read it because it was just one of the billions of titles, one of the billions of titles, uh, that was out. And that is what this movie reminds me of. This movie reminds me of that moment in like 1993, when you realize things were totally out of control and there was going to be a massive correction and like things think there, there were things that would survive Spider-Man will, they'll keep making Spider-Man movies. Venom, I guess continues to do very well. Uh, you know, both, both Venom and its sequel have done, have done fine at the box office, but there is like there we are, we are, we are at peak comic book movie. And I really, I really do think that this is emblematic of that. And I bet it, I bet it collapses this weekend. I bet it drops 70%. Um, and like, I, I, I think it, it, it won't get to a hundred million domestic. I think it's, I think it's a, I think we are, I think we are finally hitting peak comic books. So even, even, even, even the Marvel, so like MCU, like Dr. Strange in the multiverse of madness is going to make a billion dollars. I want to go see that. But then I, I like, I don't know. I don't think any of these other spider verse movies are going to be any good. They're not going to have a sinister six movie. They're gonna have a black cat movie. Come on. Here's, here's the difference Sonny.
JVL00:30:06Uh, one of the things that happened during the comic book bubble was that they started producing so many that the quality control got really, really bad. And in fact, got so bad that none of it was good. So it isn't just that like the core titles were still really solid, but then all of this other stuff was bad. It was all bad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm
Sonny00:30:31going to have to interrupt you. Is this maximum clonage slander? Are you saying that maximum clonage wasn't one of the great landmark works of art of the, of the 20th century caliber,
JVL00:30:42not good of the, the 17 Wolverine titles. You think there were a lot of Spider-Man titles, the number of Wolverine and X-Men titles, X-Force Excalibur, the difference factor between that and this is that there are still very good that the quality control was slipping because they're putting out too many movies for the quality to remain high. Although Marvel does a better job of the Disney Marvel does a better job of keeping the, you know, keeping it to like a B minus. Right. Um, but on the other hand, like Spider-Man far from Spider-Man no way home is very good. It's a very good movie. Uh, the, the Snyder, the Snyder cut of Justice League turns out to be quite good. Um, there's something else we saw recently that was pretty good. Eternals. Eternals. No, that, that, well, that was probably wasn't it. So you get back, like you get Wonder Woman, you get Wonder Woman 84, right? You get bad stuff. You get the Morbius. You, you get the black widow movie. You get, you get dogs now, but you also get stuff. That's really
Vic00:31:59good. I, you know, are we missing the first Dr. Strange movie is, is quite good. I like that a lot. Infinity war movies are quite good while watching Morbius.
Sonny00:32:07I, I look, I agree. If you go back again, if you go back like two, three, four years, things I, my argument, again, my argument is that we are now, we are now starting to reach a character saturation that we, we like kind of jokingly thought we were at when it was like Thor and captain America. Mm-hmm and we're like, oh, who are these, who are these B team guys? You know, Iron Man, oh, B team guys. Yeah. We thought they would be team. How could Marvel make movies out of this now? It's like Morbius. Yeah, that's where we're gonna have, they're gonna have like, uh, a movie with like the three captain Marvels. Um, you know, I like, well, I, are there, are there any, are we missing,
Vic00:32:45are they missing more obvious popular superheroes that haven't had a bigger movie than that? That because of we're all the way down at Morbius level, like, isn't there other more famous
JVL00:32:56superheroes that we're just not that Sony owns? Ah, yeah, this is the, the right. The, the, we have a, a branch where Fox owned all of X-Men's Sony owned all of Spider-Man. Right. And you know, when you, when all you own a Spider-Man in the Spider-Man universe, that he's really your only hero, right? I mean, everything else is eh. And you see that in the way that they've struggled to, to reposition both Venom and Morbius as heroes. And, and Morbius is, is it not even an anti-hero? Morbius is just a straight hero. Venom is an anti-hero. Yeah. Mainline Marvel doesn't have that problem as much. Um, they still have, I think a lot of IP that they can mine. Um, and you know what the truth is, if you get, if you get great actors in interesting parts with good scripts, I mean, look at the guardians of the
Vic00:33:54galaxy. Yeah. Like that is, it's a fucking talking raccoon, right? I mean, this is, this is not the
JVL00:34:02end. You get a, a pretty good script, a great actor who's really suited to it and a director who's willing to take some chances and have some fun. And you can, well, a director who's willing
Sonny00:34:15to bend to the Marvel house style. Right. Totally. Well, but bends to it, but you know, while keeping some of him in it, I do, I do hope that Sam Raimi has some Sam Raimi stuff in the multiverse of madness. We'll see how that Sam Raimi stepped in for Scott Derrickson. Ah, the new Dr. Strange. And it's coming up in a couple of weeks, once a month or so. I think it's may big news. Okay. Uh, Sonny, do you want to give a, uh, quick review of Morbius? Morbius starring one of the great movie stars of our age, Jared Leto. Uh, also the lead singer of 32nd of Mars. You'll remember him most recently as Paolo from the house of Gucci. Uh, amazing accents, Jared, Jared Leto. He's very handsome. Dr. Jared Leto, Starks stars is, uh, Michael Morbius. Well, he, the teens love Jared Leto was still, really? It's like a cult. He's like Vicks age. There's like a whole, oh, there's, there's a whole 32nd of Mars cult. Oh, they, they, they like, they, they went out to an island. They all wore white. I like, I'm not even joking. You get an effort this while I'm, while I'm doing groupies or actual cult. Like groupies are fine, but staying away from groupies groupies international waters. Oh yeah.
JVL00:35:39What's the age consent in international waters. I don't know if you could turn, if you could make
Vic00:35:44vampires in international waters, I'm pretty sure you could do anything. So anyway, Dr. Michael
Sonny00:35:48Morbius has to go to international waters to make himself a vampire, to cure his disease. He wants to cross his DNA with that of a vampire bat and to do so you gotta go out into international waters. Funded by his friend who's played by, uh, is named who he re who Michael Morbius has renamed Milo for some reason. He's, you know, all the new Milo's, uh, anyway, uh, Morbius, uh, is funded by, uh, Matt Smith. Is that, is that the character? The actor, the actor's name, the Duke of Edinburgh. Uh, so he can cure the disease that both, uh, Morbius and Milo have. Uh, he does it, he succeeds in curing the disease, but he turns himself. Into a vampire though. Not really a vampire. Cause it's not, not allergic sunlight, not allergic to garlic. Yeah. There's no religious element to it either. There's no holy water. There's, you know, none of that. It's just like he sucks blood, wants to suck blood. That's and he's fast. I guess. See himself in the mirror. He could see himself in the mirror.
Vic00:36:48That's another, another, it's a, it's hard when you're a vampire. You have no idea what you look
Sonny00:36:53like. It's a, uh, anyway, uh, turns out that, oh yes. Daredevil, daredevil hearing too. Oh yeah. He's got, he's got echolocation, which is the, we could talk about the terrible effects in this movie, though. I don't really think they're that much worse than kind of standard MCU visuals, but like whatever, uh, the, the, the echolocation, it just sounds like he can actually, it, it's really more like Superman hearing. Like he can hear what he, he like focus in on whatever he wants. He can do
Vic00:37:23that and he can do. Right. Yeah. Fine. Yeah. It's like that device in a dark night, you know, where
Sonny00:37:30you can see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Uh, anyway, he's got a fight, uh, the Duke of Edinburgh, uh, who is the, the whole, who's an endearing child, but somehow turns into a monster. Maybe we can talk about some of the erotic subtext of this movie. Well, any vampire
Vic00:37:50movie will have an erotic subtext interview with interview with Milo and Morbius. Or was it brotherly? You're saying it was, I didn't pick up on any of that.
Sonny00:38:04All right. So here's, let me just, there's, there's the moment early in the film where, uh, Morbius writes the note to Milo and Milo gets beat up by the kids who steal his note. He's like, give me my note back. Give me my note from my friend back. I need my note. Uh, and then they go, they go on, they go on the walk in the park together and they, they're laying about in the glass. They're laying about in the grass, just central park.
JVL00:38:26And then just like a couple of Oxbridge guys, uh, You know, nothing ever goes on with those guys, by the way.
Sonny00:38:32And Milo, Milo sees Morbius with his lady friend is staring jealously at them from across the way.
Vic00:38:40You mean he wasn't, he wasn't envious of him dating her.
Sonny00:38:44These two guys with these, these two guys with this terrible blood disease in Manhattan, uh, you know, just kinda going out to nightclubs and stuff and dancing around. I'm just saying, I'm just saying like, it's, it's a very, this, the subtext is barely subtext.
JVL00:39:02I, I gotta say, I don't buy this at all.
Vic00:39:06I'm only thinking about it now, but I, I thought about it a little bit. A little bit, a little bit, a little bit, a little bit, a little bit. Are you looking through your notes there?
Sonny00:39:16Hold on, hold on. Maybe, maybe the line here where Milo says, Michael does not accept what he is. I'm going to make him accept it.
JVL00:39:25Oh no, that's no, no subtext there. No. Subtext there about in this movie.
Sonny00:39:31Come on. There's no shame in what we are. That's another line that Milo says. I just, I'm, I'm just throwing it out there. I don't know.
JVL00:39:41I wouldn't have liked this much more if this had, if this had really been there. One of the things I have in my notes is that for a vampire movie, there's basically no sexual tension in it and no sexual subsex in it.
Sonny00:39:53Oh, that's because you were looking the wrong way. Yeah, that's right. That's right. I guess I, I.
JVL00:39:58Enjoyed this more.
Sonny00:39:59If I thought that Milo doing his little dance while he's okay. Yes.
JVL00:40:02What was that all about? What was that? I've seen himself in the mirror.
Vic00:40:06He's like, I'm a vampire. I'm a living vampire. I thought that was unnecessary. Like he's dancing. Why am I watching him? Maybe because he's never danced before because he was unable to. Well, he's because his legs are healed. Now his legs are healed. He's got some rhythm. He's got the moves.
Sonny00:40:23Anyway. Hips don't lie. Mike, Matt Smith's hips don't lie. I, I just throwing, I just throwing that out there. I just wanted to throw that. Maybe, maybe I'm reading into it. I don't know. I don't know.
JVL00:40:33He looks like Gordon Ramsay with the meat sucked out of him, doesn't he?
Vic00:40:37Yeah, he does a little bit. Yeah, I'm doing, I can't see us here, but doing the thing with the cheekbones and he just goes, they, they transform too. Yes. Thank you, Sonny. That's the face. If you only, you can see this.
JVL00:40:48If we had the Facebook live version of this right now.
Vic00:40:50Yeah, I know that was a good face. The weird thing is of course, back in the day, meaning not too long. Ago, you know, you would have to, you know, think I'm thinking about how long Gary Oldman must've sat in his chair to get all that makeup done when he did Dracula. And now they just CGI it on you. He didn't know.
JVL00:41:08I thought they were doing, they were doing the makeup like 15 times a scene because there's
Sonny00:41:14no going out of it. Nothing approaching a practical special effect has got anywhere near this movie. No, this was all, everything about this movie was weightless CGI. So here's my, my big complaint about this movie. Set aside, set aside the fact that it's just kind of paint by numbers, origin movie set, set aside the fact that visually speaking, it's very bland and boring. Um, and it's like kind of standard again, standard, standard MCU CGI stuff. The only reason this movie exists is to set up things in the broader Spider-Man Sony Spider-Verse universe. Right. And they do it. They do it with two mid credits. The Venomverse. They do it. Not even Spider-Man. Oh, there was, there was post credits. I'll get, I'll get to this. So there are two. There are two mid-credits scenes.
JVL00:41:57Oh, cause I was out there.
Vic00:41:58I only got through the first one and it made no sense to me.
Sonny00:42:01In the first Adrian tombs played by Michael Keaton. You remember Spider-Man homecoming? Yes. Loved them then. Shows up there. There's the rip in the sky from, from no way home. And then he shows up in a jail cell and on the news are like, Adrian tombs has appeared. And he's like, well, I guess, uh, you gotta let me go. And they're like, you're right. We do have to let you go. I don't know why. Don't know why.
Vic00:42:23Because he didn't commit crimes in that universe.
Sonny00:42:26None of this makes any sense. So then there's a second mid credit scene where, uh, Morbius is driving out into the middle of the desert and he stops his car and he gets out of his car. It's the middle of the night. And then comes the vulture comes zooming up the vulture. He's Michael Keaton is in full vulture garb because in this universe, apparently he still has the vulture shit, even though he's not, you know, he didn't commit any crimes in this universe and, uh, says to Morbius, Hey, I like your style. We should team up. And do some good. And Morbius is like, I also like your style of vulture man. And, and then the vulture's like, there's one thing I do know though. And S it's that Spider-Man is at the middle of this. Now, if you remember correctly, as JVL says, they are in the venom verse. They are not in the spider. There's no Spider-Man mentioned anywhere in any of this stuff. And all of a sudden it's like a Spider-Man talking about Spider-Man. There's no Spider-Man. No Spider-Man. Has ever been mentioned.
JVL00:43:25And in fact, the FBI agent says early in the film, this is the weirdest thing since I've seen since that thing in San Francisco calls himself better.
Vic00:43:36More evidence for your case, Sonny, San Francisco.
Sonny00:43:42Well, that's, that's now you're just being homophobic. Uh, so the, uh, the, I thought it was a bath house.
Vic00:43:49I thought you were referring to a bath house.
Sonny00:43:50None of this, none of this, none of this makes any sense at all as, as like universe building. It just doesn't, it doesn't work on any level at all. And, uh, and, and I don't understand just from a pure quality control. Sense. I don't understand how you could make this movie with those end credits and shit it out into the world. I feel like it's a, it's a disaster.
Vic00:44:15Is there one at the very, did you say to the very, very, very end?
Sonny00:44:17I stayed all the way to the end. There was nothing at the end.
Vic00:44:19Oh, JV, you texted us and you had me there. There for a second.
JVL00:44:26The, uh, so I, the show time was posted as five 20 that I went to, I was at Alamo. I was late. I got there at five 30 and I snuck in under the wire as the, the, if you talk or text, we're going to throw your ass out and nobody else is allowed in the theater. Now that's when I got, wow. So 10 minutes of trailers, plus the Alamo shut your mouth stuff. That's all they do at Alamo now.
Vic00:44:55That's amazing. Lucky.
JVL00:44:57So credits are rolled. So opening credits are rolling at five 30 and I am in my car before 7:00 PM.
Vic00:45:07You mean you left her, you left to release what you're saying?
JVL00:45:10No, I, I left the minute the, the first credits rolled at the end.
Vic00:45:14Yes.
JVL00:45:15This is like a 87 minute runtime. If you don't stick around for the credits. I gotta say that performs very well on one of the quadrants.
Vic00:45:27It does for me, it did not feel that way. I'm telling you.
JVL00:45:31I wanted to, oh, I thought it felt incredibly brief. Like I couldn't, I couldn't believe it was over. I thought it was like one long night.
Vic00:45:38I felt it was like one long night.
JVL00:45:41Now Victorino, I have to say place in the dark. That's probably the only quadrant it did well in.
Vic00:45:47Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to give it an NA for a plot because I didn't think it had a plot and. And then I, and then, and then I was so angry. I actually wrote plot F for fucking stupid. I actually wrote that. But I mean, technically, I mean, it's an A anymore and can understand it because it's like, oh, he needs a cure of disease and he turns into a vampire and his buddy.
Sonny00:46:07It's cure and then he cures it.
Vic00:46:08His buddy likes it. And then he, he, he kills people and then he has to kill his friend. That's about it. Uh, so what more could you want from him? Yeah. Duration. I said it was a B plus because it felt longer for me. Action and violence. I gave it a C culminating in. What I called and I wrote it here, the battle of who gives a shit, which is the two of them fighting each other. And at one point, I'm pretty sure it was just a comic book. Like it looked like pure animation.
JVL00:46:34What was happening?
Vic00:46:35Matt Smith is going after mid they're falling down together. And you could see me again. Nobody else could see this. And all those streaks, lots of streaking. And I don't mean running a naked. I mean like, you know, the lines, everything that would explain the streaking.
JVL00:46:49But also the camera zooms like right. Right up so that it's, I mean, the camera doesn't do all this is animated, but within the animation, the camera zooms like right up. So it's like four inches away from the, the characters.
Vic00:47:04Yeah.
JVL00:47:04And so you can't like, you not only can you not tell what's going on because none of the physical spaces have been defined.
Vic00:47:11Yes.
JVL00:47:11But in fact, they're being obscured by the, I just thought it was as a directing choice incomprehensible.
Vic00:47:20Yeah. Yeah.
JVL00:47:21I literally, I sat there thinking to myself, how did somebody storyboard this? And say, yes, yes, we'll do it this way.
Vic00:47:30I, I, I have to say, and then, and then, well, and sex nudity is an F I even for PG 13, I liked her. I found her very attractive, Martine. I don't see how she suddenly, well, again, you know, falls in love with a, a better looking Jared Leto than the old Jared Leto. But, um, nevertheless, I just, you know, she loves him for his mind.
Sonny00:47:49He's a great scientist.
Vic00:47:51More women like this, by the way. Uh, I came in, so I came in with a very low expectations and I actually thought when it started, you know what? I really didn't want to see this, but I'm going to give it a chance at that last. Yeah.
Sonny00:48:03It sounds like you really have went into it with an open mind with my ratings.
Vic00:48:06Uh, at about 15 or 20 minutes, I said, what is going on over here? And actually I thought, okay, this is interesting because he starts off. He's not like Steven strange, you know, in the beginning of Dr. Strange, he's very arrogant and then he gets humbled. Right. He's a nice guy. He's a nice doctor, Dr. Morbius. He's helping these kids, you know, this, this girl and everything.
Sonny00:48:24Invents the fake blood.
Vic00:48:25Yeah. Yeah. Invents fake blood, which saves people's lives. The blue blood, right? Blue blood. Is that what it is? Yeah. So he helps them. But then after that, you know, and I can relate obviously, cause I have to get my Wolverine blood, you know, and like, you should see me when I don't get it on time. I, I, you know, he turned into a vampire. I turned into a leper and then I just have to get the, I could have to get the injection, but then I felt like it just went nowhere. Um, also it's weird. So, so he, he seems to have no control. Well, over, supposedly he has no control when he turns into this violent vampire monster. And I'm talking about Morbius yet. Amazingly, he only killed bad guys or I'm going to say quote unquote bad guys. Cause he kills these mercenaries. But what did the mercenaries actually do wrong?
Sonny00:49:07I did nothing wrong. Personaries did nothing wrong.
Vic00:49:11Were they hired by Milo?
Sonny00:49:13Well, you got to defend the ship from pirates.
JVL00:49:15I mean, they're 13 miles off of Long Island. They're not off the coast of Somalia.
Sonny00:49:20Right.
Vic00:49:20That's true. They're not in the Horn of Africa.
JVL00:49:22This, this ship, which by the way, why do they have to be in international waters? Has no crew except for mercenaries.
Vic00:49:30The FDA regulations were too.
JVL00:49:32It's not, it's not like somebody, you know, said, Hey, we got a crew and then we got to bring in security. There seemed to be no crewman except for the mercenaries. Yes.
Vic00:49:40Just the mercenaries. There's no captain. And it was, uh, also where they're conducting this very important experiment. Did not look exactly like the most sterile environment. No, they have to have this done. Uh, I do. I will say I did get, I did get that. This was a reference to the Dracula, uh, novel and the movies of the Demeter, the meter, right? The Demeter, the, the ship that brings, uh, the schooner that brings count Dracula to England. Right. And he kills everybody on the ship and that's basically the reference. Great.
JVL00:50:17I'm glad that they concocted. Concocted a cockamamie plot device purely in order to give a call back.
Vic00:50:25Just that. And the movement, you know, it's like this, what do you call this sort of camera thing where everything is very shaky and moves up and then there's. Handheld lots of, but like, and that jumps right to the victim. They get killed immediately. You know what I mean?
Sonny00:50:37Where everything is very, well, this is this, this movie suffers from being a PG 13 horror film. It, it suffers from like being essentially a bloodless movie about a bloody vampire. Yes.
Vic00:50:47There's actually not a lot of blood. Whereas if you watch. Obviously Bram Stoker's Dracula, Francis Ford Coppola's that was, that was our heart. That was a hard R. It was hard R. A lot of blood. And nudity.
Sonny00:50:58And a nudity. Yeah. With that movie's bad. I re I rewatched that not very long ago, it's so bad.
Vic00:51:03Okay. Why is it? Tell me, do you think it's too corny? The love thing with Winona Ryder? Is that it? It's too.
Sonny00:51:08No, no, it's not even that. That's not even the real issue. The, the, the issue is just like structurally it's all over the place with like Francis Ford Coppola doing his. Like homages to the early Nickelodeons, like wandering through the streets of New York city. And then like the, the stuff in the insane asylum, it just like they, it is, it is, it is a Tom Waits constructed piece of narrative filmmaking. I just, I don't, I don't care for it on any level.
Vic00:51:36Uh, but w w what do you, I liked, I, you know, I mean, there are mem the, the cast by and large, I, you know, I don't know. I mean, Jared Leto, I thought was fine. I, I, I mentioned, uh, Martine. I liked her a lot. Uh, she's a, she's an actress from, uh, I think Puerto Rico, Andrea Arjona Arjona. And I liked the, the, the father figure, Jared Harris. I like him in anything he does. Also he had Matt Smith. Of course, we're in the crown together. Jared Harris, by the way, he plays the old doctor, right. Who gets killed.
JVL00:52:06Um, you know, Richard Harris's little brother, right?
Vic00:52:10He is the son. He's Richard Harris's son. Yes. But here's a very interesting, funny story. Cause I saw an interview with him with this. Um, his father was Richard Harris, who was a very difficult. Man. And, and, and just not, not a great father. And, uh, but he says, luckily he said, luckily his mother divorced him, but the bad news is she married Rex Harrison, who was an even worse stepfather. It was just really two really bad dads. Uh, anyway, that's all, that's all I had for that.
JVL00:52:40I have questions about that.
Vic00:52:41Yes. So do I, so do I, but you first.
JVL00:52:44So do vampires have bullet time or is it like Quicksilver where they, they are so fast that they can warp space time. By moving around.
Sonny00:52:56I think they're just very fast. They're very, yes.
JVL00:52:59But, but again, they are metahuman fast.
Vic00:53:01Your question is, is it more matrix?
JVL00:53:05Am I wrong about this? Because again, they are moving in the way that the flash or Superman moves, which seems. Yeah. The FBI decides that they're going to handle the case of people killed on a ship international water is maritime law. Part of the FBI. Why is Tyrese playing the serious cop? And not the funny one.
Vic00:53:24I like him by the way. He was good at that movie Annapolis.
JVL00:53:27So we, we spent like four minutes with, uh, Dr. Morbius and his, his Puerto Rican doctor. Girlfriend and this adorable girl named Anna who goes into a coma. They have to induce a coma and then we never see her again.
Sonny00:53:44Yeah. Never see her again.
JVL00:53:45Why, why is she still in need?
Sonny00:53:46No, no, she's dead. So when, when they don't want to show the dead girl, Morbius loans to fly.
JVL00:53:53It's because he's flying in front of a subway. Subway.
Vic00:53:57Well, he's, he's right. He's not drafting. I thought he was going to get it. He's gliding on the air.
JVL00:54:02So, yeah. So he's riding on current of compressed air, I guess, because his bones are now lighter. Then human bones. Maybe did he have a cape on?
Vic00:54:11Was he using a cape as like Batman would or no, no, he was just, but then later.
JVL00:54:16Later he starts flying around the city without the aid of compressed air. Is that a new power? Is it? Did you know what we don't know?
Sonny00:54:25He jumped off a high, but he was gliding.
JVL00:54:26It was also very windy that night.
Vic00:54:28It was very windy that night.
JVL00:54:29Windy. So we, we have a scene where he goes to get a new lab so they can do experiments. And then two scenes later, he's back in the old lab working.
Sonny00:54:39Yes. Yes. Why is that? They needed, they needed that counterfeiting. So the bats obey.
JVL00:54:46They obey him because he's their brother, but they don't obey the little Gordon Ramsey dude. Is that because he's gay? Are these homophobic bats?
Sonny00:54:57I told, I tried to tell you guys. What happened to the vampire death serum? So who's cleaning up after the bats?
JVL00:55:03He builds two things, a vampire death serum, because he's gonna, gonna kill himself afterwards. Cause it's too dangerous. It's too much. Then he just decides not to take it. Or why did he?
Vic00:55:14Because he learns he could control it.
JVL00:55:15Now, but why, why make two then again?
Sonny00:55:18This is just, can he control it though? Doesn't he just have to keep like killing bad people?
JVL00:55:23I think so. Yeah. I think he's venom. This is lit. He's literally venom. Like I, he has to bring the red stuff back and forth.
Sonny00:55:32Maybe he can just go to like the red cross and get some like bags of real blood.
JVL00:55:37This is so I, I, you know, it's funny. I, I don't wanna be overly kind to this thing, but my overriding sense watching this was that there was a two hour and 15 minute version of this movie. And the film editor went in and cut 50 minutes out of it in the most spiteful and vindictive way possible with the goal of making the director look like a total incompetent. Like the two of them fought during production. And then the editor just decided, you know what I have final cut on this for some weird contractual reason, and I'm going to make you look like an asshole because it, yeah.
Vic00:56:19What you're saying is there must be a reason why this is so bad and it can't be just.
JVL00:56:23Some of it was just incomprehensible. Like how, how, how could this, that there are script problems like the idea of having Morbius not fighting himself, but fighting just another version of Morbius. Like that's a, again, it's, it's almost literally is venom, right? Isn't this
Sonny00:56:44the plot of the first Venom? That's also, that's also basically what happens at the end. Yeah. Um, and then really Venom let there be carnage as well. The same thing, right?
JVL00:56:53Why not just like have them fight shocker or something? Um, but even if you just take the, the writing weaknesses of it, what is on the screen? I just can't understand
Vic00:57:07how it got out in this form. Yeah. This final battle scene, they collapsed. It's like an underground where I guess there used to be an old subway, but that's New York and that's where it takes place. And the bats all fly out. I mean, it's just, cause that's where the bats live. That's where
JVL00:57:22the bats live. So did the score there's not sound like a lot like Hans Zimmer. Oh no. I, I actually have that in my notes. Yeah. I have that in my notes. I just thought to myself, they're ripping off dark night. What are they doing here? You can't do this every time. And
Sonny00:57:36it's only when there are bats. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Uh, or is that homage to Zimmer's? Yeah. Zimmer's Batman begins theme. Question mark is, is in my, I like, it sounds exactly like the, everything from the, the dark night. Okay. And there's also, there's actually, um, there's another moment that calls to mind the man of steel Zimmer score. Like I, I think they, somebody, a friend suggested that they like used a bunch of Zimmer tracks in the time and
JVL00:58:03just forgot to take them out. Yeah. Or thought like, okay, that sounds really good. What if we just change enough so that we don't have to pay? No, no, it's not the same. It's like da, da,
Vic00:58:13da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Okay. Uh, I have a couple of questions too. Uh, one, uh, when Milo goes to the nightclub, is he really wanting to score with a woman or did he just want to pick a fight so that he could wait outside and then sink his teeth into those men? Couldn't he just
JVL00:58:32wait outside and kill the men anyway? Why does he need to go to make it seem like I'm going to try
Vic00:58:37to find, I'm going to bait somebody into picking them and then I'll have a reason to go if this is
JVL00:58:42all about Milo being a scorned gay lover. I like it more. I mean, I don't like it, but it's like,
Vic00:58:51that's at least an idea. That's an idea, right? It's an idea where here there's no idea. And so
JVL00:58:55I just think that that should have been pushed harder if, if that's real, you wanted it gayer.
Vic00:59:00Yes, I would have wanted it. But in the end, so in the end, when Milo dies, spoiler alert, uh, then he, then he suddenly turns into like the little boy again, you know, and he's like, uh, to, uh, to Warby. It's like, why this whole thing, right? It is like, oh, now he's nice again. Uh, I thought that to be very weird question. What if the problem is that he actually has met Morbius has a need for red blood. Why could he not just go to a break into a blood bank? He doesn't have to get it from live victims, right? Just go to a blood bank. Why in purchase? He could, he, what JV why indeed? Yeah. Why? He could, he could pay a nurse or whoever works there and say, Hey, I'll give you a lot, you know, money. Just give me a couple of
Sonny00:59:42vials. Okay. So that's what also at the very, you could go to skid row and just like throw, throw 20 bucks at some hobos. Be like, Hey, let me suck your blood. I mean, there's no difference between them donating. There's no difference between them donating to
Vic00:59:56the red cross. Okay. Does she turn into a vampire at the end? Is that what I'm supposed to believe
JVL01:00:02at the very end? I think that's also, but she's the only one who turns into a vampire because she
Sonny01:00:07got bitten by, but she comes to life. No, he gives, he gives her a drop of his blood, I think. Oh, like, Oh, so like a traditional vampire story. Like, yeah, like a more traditional van. I think I, that was kind of hard to, I had no, it felt very tacked on because it was like, Oh, I'm so sad. She's died. Oh no, she's alive as a vampire. Now she's a vampire. Okay. Vampire lady. Great.
Vic01:00:30Do you have any other thoughts? Bad movie. That was a bad movie. Uh, okay. Uh, that was like the episode spirit of the week, corrections, shout outs, anything corrections. No, we're good. Yes. And Sonny, I see you're drinking a Coors. No, I'm drinking Dr. Oh, I looked like a can of Coors for a second. Let me see that. Oh, it was really quick. It was quick. It was quick. Okay. Okay. All right. Also a very, that was a classic Texas soda. Okay. This is my spirit of the week. Well, that's got, that's got it. Okay. That'll knock you out JBL. Uh, that's all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, compliments, tweet us at Sonny Bunch, at Victorino Matus. Again, be sure to subscribe to us on Patreon. Just go to subbeacon.com. We're there. Tell your friends until next time. All right. Come on. What do you got? I got nothing. You got nothing. Do you, uh, did you know our friends at commentary? They're doing their podcast. They're doing a live podcast from, uh, I think Palm beach, Florida. Ooh, that's nice. I don't know if we could do something like that from Palm. Do we have a lot of listeners in Palm? Because I guess a lot, they have a lot of listeners in Florida. Is that why they pick it? There must be reasons for these things, but
JVL01:01:56you know, they sold out when, uh, when they did the comedy club in New York. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They sold a ton, a ton of tickets for that. I'll say that. I bet they can sell out then in Palm beach. You guys should have done a live show when you were in Vegas.
Vic01:02:10I wonder we would maybe get four or five, maybe four or five listeners out there. We could have done one at, uh, we could have done one, uh, uh, a live podcast from Sapphire.
Sonny01:02:23That would have been good. Sure. It's fine.
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