#40. 'Jungle Cruise'
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This episode's main event is Jungle Cruise, the Disney adventure pairing Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt, reviewed with guest host Ryan Kinney of the SSEU podcast sitting in for Vic. Ryan, who saw it with his eleven-year-old son, comes away charmed despite admitting the plot is nonsense (his wife dubbed it "white girl Moana" ten minutes in); Sonny likewise can't bring himself to hate it, calling it a dumber Mummy and a lesser animated Pirates of the Caribbean dragged down by shockingly cheap-looking CGI (a Dwayne Johnson/jaguar fight he says "looks fake," "late-nineties" quality) and a muddled plot about cursed 400-year-old conquistadors, but ultimately giving it a pass on the strength of Blunt and Johnson's chemistry; JVL is the toughest grader, arguing the movie fails the family-film test — too intense for kids under eight, too babyish for anyone over twelve — and singling out Paul Giamatti's accent as "a hate crime." The episode opens with an extended riff on the viral "poop knife" Reddit thread, then moves into Sonny's dad-questions deep dive on LEGO etiquette (piece-wrangling, letting kids struggle, the LEGO app) after his six-year-old daughter's first big set, and JVL's solo-parenting stretch with his son Flash — teaching him to shave, hitting five baseball games in a week, and watching him house a Taco Bell twelve-pack of soft tacos, plus a tangent on Flash's surprisingly deep classic-rock education. Sonny runs the box office numbers, noting Jungle Cruise split roughly $30 million between theaters and Disney+ Premier Access, and comparing it to Cruella's performance and the Stillwater-versus-The Green Knight upset. The back half wanders into Disney theme-park lore — the jungle cruise ride's real history (prop guns, hippo-attack signal codes, its inspiration in The African Queen) and the eye-watering price of the new Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser hotel — before closing on a classic off-the-rails "Vic special" tangent about a Dutch government disability benefit for hiring sex workers.
From the show notes
Special guest Ryan Kinney of the SSEU podcast joins Sonny and JVL to talk about poop knives, Legos, and Jungle Cruise . Truly a wealth of topics to discuss!
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00My name is Dr. Lily Houghton. My brother and I are looking for passage upriver.
Mike00:00:05What's out there in the jungle? It's not a fun vacation.
Guest00:00:08Well, I'm not here for a vacation. Legend has it that there is a tree that possesses unparalleled healing power. It will change medicine forever.
Mike00:00:15And you need someone to help you find it. Here we go.
Guest00:00:20Sometimes it just needs a bit of a...
Mike00:00:21Nobody touches my engine but me. What did I just...
Guest00:00:26There you go.
JVL00:00:30Hello and welcome to another edition of the Sub-Beacon. I am your host sitting in for Victorino Matus today. I'm JVL and I'm here with Sonny Bunch and our very special guest, Ryan Kinney, our buddy and one of the hosts of the SSEU podcast. Just a reminder that the Sub-Beacon is available. Exclusively on Patreon at subbeacon.com. We also have a store. We can buy Sub-Beacon merchandise, so go get some shirts, tell your friends to become patrons, leave us reviews, suggestions, ideas at subbeacon.com. Ryan Kinney, welcome to the show. How are you? Do you have your poop knife with you?
Sonny00:01:21We have a travel poop knife that we take for vacations and we don't put it in a bag. It goes in right in the suitcase and you don't have to wash it off to put it in a bag.
JVL00:01:35Would you care to tell Sonny a little bit about the poop knife? Because I'm getting the sense from the expression on his face that he has no idea what we're talking about.
Sonny00:01:43No idea what a poop knife is. I didn't know what it was before two weeks ago. On our last episode, one of the other hosts, Chris, brought to our attention that there is such a thing as a poop knife. Apparently, not that famous Reddit thread to where a guy was talking about how he was at his weed dealers house and apparently what you do when you buy weed from a guy, you also sit there and smoke and then you go use their bathroom. And in his family growing up, his family took very big dumps. And so they had a knife that they hung, you know, it obviously you're not going to keep it in the bathroom. They hung it in the laundry room. Yeah. Because that was the middle point between two bathrooms and you can't, not everybody can afford two poop knives. So you got to have one in the laundry room. Question. Yeah. Question. Is this like a butter knife or is it like a Bowie knife or something in the middle? Is it like a steak knife? The Reddit thread made it seem like it was something in the middle, kind of like a steak knife or a big- Fish knife. Yeah. Kitchen utility knife. Yeah. Yeah. Utility knife. Not like a chef's knife. You're not using your, you know, your hinkle or whatever in that.
JVL00:03:05Very important that the blade not be serrated, I think.
Sonny00:03:08I don't know how often they're sharpening it, to be honest. But so you chop up your dump and this is a very, this is what people do and then you flush it down because I don't know. And so he asked his weed dealer, he yelled out, "I need the poop knife." Which, of course, he responded, "What?" And there were other people there. The music was turned down. What are you tired about? Yeah. But this is not just unique to this guy because this is going to go out on a wider audience than he probably wanted, but Chris found out that his dad, there was a knife that was in the bathroom. He actually kept his in the bathroom at his dad's house. The secrets parents keep from their children. It was to chop up poop. Well, this is just further proof of my theory that on the internet, you can find 15 people who have done anything. This is the organizing principle of the internet and also why it's a terrible thing that is going to end up destroying humanity. Because it used to be that all of us weirdos were separated from one another and we just wondered if there was a whole community of knife-wielding poop maniacs out there. And it turns out that on Reddit, all 15 of them can come to the same place and eventually they'll converge.
JVL00:04:40It's amazing.
Sonny00:04:43And just before you move on from me, I was nervous last night as my wife was gently sobbing herself to sleep when I told her what the guest host Sub-Beacon Patreon tier cost us. But being here now, it's totally worth it. And I don't even care what Vic used my credit card to order from Estonia.
JVL00:05:08Hmm. Tokyo. It's always Tokyo. Santino, how are you, bud? You can't return those body pillows.
Sonny00:05:19You just can't send them back. It's not allowed. I'm good. I have a very exciting news. Ooh. I had my first trip to the LEGO store with my six-year-old daughter for her birthday, and I let her pick out a couple of LEGO sets, and we did them. And I have dad LEGO questions, JVL.
JVL00:05:43Bring them on.
Sonny00:05:44So it's been a long time since I have put together any LEGO thing, since my childhood. And back when I did, I was also not really buying the fancy Disney sets or the Star Wars sets or whatever. But when my daughter had opened them, before I had any idea she was going to do this, she opened them and she opened all of the bags at the same time and dumped them in a pile together. Now, are those bags separated by stages? Yes. Okay. Okay. Well, so this is going to probably obviate one of my questions, but my first question was, when you are doing something like this with your younger child, are you the brick grabber? Because I have found that it is intensely miserable waiting for her to find the piece to put together on the next step. It's just like, no, I see it right there and then she'll look at me and she'll say, "Do you see it?" And I say, "Yes." And I wait for her to get it and eventually I just have to reach in and get it.
JVL00:06:46Okay. So maybe this will be like the poop knife and every family does it differently. But my understanding is that the optimal division of labor for Legos is that the parent is the piece wrangler, the child is the builder because you want them getting all of those reps on spatial relations and seeing where details come into. But the menial task of just picking out the red two by ones out of the big giant pile, that's monkey work. They don't need to do that.
Sonny00:07:25I do think there's something to be said for like the patience that it takes to actually accomplish this goal, but I don't have it myself just watching her try to do it.
JVL00:07:36No, the patience all comes from the amount of time they're able to focus on the single task of building the thing they're building. How many pieces was the set that she opened all the bags on?
Sonny00:07:46Like 260 something.
JVL00:07:48Oh, that's not bad.
Sonny00:07:50I mean, whatever. It wasn't like the end of the world. Everything was still there. We were able to get it done. The time limit on the amount of time that she can focus on this is approximately 27 minutes. That's that was about that was about that was about the five or six, six, six. No, it was fine. It was it was actually it was a lot of fun doing it. Second question. How much help do you give with the actual building? How many attempts do you do you give them to to get it right before you kind of dive in there and say, I got I got to do this, Ryan?
JVL00:08:25Do you have thought? I mean, I have very strong thoughts on this. What? How does it work in your family?
Sonny00:08:31You know how in the Lego movie that the Chris Pratt character kind of just made things that weren't supposed to be? That's more abominations. Yeah, my I, I have most of my kids, I have one that's very, like, wanted everything exit built exactly right. The other three, they were like, they, I would help them and kind of want them to build it. I decided they were just going to make their own thing, combining different sets. And I know this is a very, that's not, that's a no, no for Lego people, but that's what
JVL00:09:08I disagree. So as long as it's intentional, that's great, right? If they're just like, Hey, I'm like a tuner, I'm going to mod out this set and make it my own. That's great. If they're trying to follow the directions and having trouble. That's different. Now, Sonny, is this her first set?
Sonny00:09:26Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't even really mean. The actual, like where the pieces go on the thing. I mean the actual, like putting together, like, you know, cause it takes like, it takes like, it takes some like actual finger strength to get some of those pieces in there.
JVL00:09:39I think it's best to wait until they ask for help. Okay. Uh, no. And what you will find, I am certain is that there will be certain types of pieces and configurations of, of joins that are easy for them and certain types that are very hard. Uh, so for instance, G money. Yeah. Anything that are the little round studs. He just is like, you gotta do those. I can't do those pieces because whatever the manipulation, you know, the, the super fine motor coordination of something that is one in 0.5 millimeters wide and pretty thin is just with the rounded edges is too hard for him. He can do the square versions of those, the little one by ones, but not the, not the round studs. So, but I really think you, you don't want to jump in and take this over and make it your project. You want to let them. Do it. And when they hit the point, you can ask them, do you want to hand with that? And if they say yes, then you can, you know, help jigger. Sometimes what I'll do is I'll hold the bottom piece and say, here, now you push your piece down on top of it. Uh, but if they say, no, I want to go at it, then just let them, let them have at it, man.
Sonny00:10:50My basic, again, first time, uh, trying this was I showed her how to do the first piece. Like if it was like a multiple. You know, if there were like several pieces that were kind of similar in a row, I would just be like, all right, this is how you do the first one. Now you do the rest. That's a good, and that was, that was very effective.
JVL00:11:08I found that's a very effective, and a lot of times there will be a step with symmetrical sides, right? So you're putting four pieces on one side, four pieces on the other. And especially early on when you're, your kid is just learning how to follow all the steps. What you can do is say, Hey, how about you'll do the one side with the four by twos and do the other side with the four by twos. And then they can just watch you do it while they do theirs and you do a little monkey see monkey do. Yeah.
Sonny00:11:36Uh, it, it worked. It mostly worked. It mostly worked. Do you have the app?
?00:11:41No.
JVL00:11:42Okay. So there is an app which lets you scan the QR code on the front page of your directions, which then, uh, just sets up an account for you. It's a Lego app. Uh, and so when you lose the directions. You will lose the directions or you will throw them out. And then three and a half years from now, when she comes to you and says, but this thing fell apart and I want to rebuild it. Yeah. You can just say, oh, oh, that's fine. I got it right here on my phone and you don't have to hold onto the stuff.
Sonny00:12:12Very helpful. I, uh, the other, the other, the other thing was once the thing had been completed, I had to explain to her that this is mostly a looking toy, like not a playing toy. That's it's like, you know, you can, you can play with it, but it's gonna fall apart. And if it falls apart, you're gonna have to put it back together. And I'm not gonna be able to help you. You might lose pieces.
JVL00:12:35She was, she was very skeptical about this. Legos are meant to come apart and put, and then you can put them back together. That's all you establish as a baseline that the, the purpose of this toy is for it coming apart is the design purpose of it.
Sonny00:12:54I don't like that.
JVL00:12:56Well, then you need to get the Kregle.
Sonny00:12:58I need to get it. I get it. I need to get like a, I need to get like a Lego, uh, mausoleum that I can put in her room. That's just like a locked glass cabinet, like a Lucite cabinet be like, now this goes in here and you can just look at it forever, but the heads parenting, like, like the heads in return to Oz, just like the, the horror heads. Have you guys seen return to Oz?
JVL00:13:21Have you, have you ever seen that movie now?
Sonny00:13:23Terrifying. You should, you should send, you should send a VHS of that movie. Back to your seven year old self be like, watch this, watch this kid.
JVL00:13:35So I, uh, it's funny, you know, how are you? How are you doing? We're an opposite sides of the spectrum. You're doing your first Lego sets. Uh, I, Shannon has the three little kids down at the beach. I am in Virginia with flash. And among the many things that flash and are going to do this week is that I'm going to teach him to shave. Ooh. Yeah. That's a thing that's happening. Oh my gosh. Uh, today when it was lunchtime, cause he is, he has all this homework from the summer that he has not done yet. And you know, he goes back to school in three weeks, so I'm doing my work, he's doing his work and we get to lunch. I said, what do you want me for lunch?
Sonny00:14:11He goes, let's go to Taco Bell.
JVL00:14:14So I said, okay, so let's, let's go to Taco Bell. What do you want? He goes, oh, I want the 12 pack.
?00:14:19Yeah.
JVL00:14:20I said, I'm sorry. The what? The 12 pack of the soft tacos. Oh, they're awesome. And what are you having dad? I said, you can. You can get 10. You're not gonna eat. You're not gonna eat 12.
Sonny00:14:30He goes, you gotta negotiate.
JVL00:14:32Is that a challenge I could do. So I bought him the 12 pack. It's God is my witness. He housed it in like 15.
Sonny00:14:38Oh yeah. Oh, well, I mean that, that does not shock me because I remember being about that age when the, um, what was the ridiculous like monster box? Oh yeah. What was, it was like, it was like 25 tacos and like two burritos and like a gordita and a Mexican nachos and a Mexican pizza. And like my, my friends and I would, would like each get one of those and eat most of it just on general principle. Just cause we could.
JVL00:15:06Yeah. It's been pretty great. We've gone to like five baseball games in the last seven days. We're going to another one tomorrow. We're going to go see the Phillies playing the AAA nationals. Uh, it's been great. It's been super, it's been super great. It is weird and fun. I was trying to explain to somebody, uh, hitting a super. Stage where your kid is old enough that he has his own stuff going on. And so when you have conversations, you are bringing some things to the table and he is bringing some things to the table. You know, he's, he spends a lot of time with his guitar and, uh, he has gotten very into the history of rock. And so he'll call me like, you do know that, uh, you know, when Jimi Hendrix was only 24, he did X, Y, and Z. No, actually I did not know that, you know, and it's really cool. It's cool. It's a, it, it almost makes it all worth it.
Sonny00:16:04Has he gone through his pink Floyd stage yet?
JVL00:16:06No, he has not. He's he does a lot of lot of Zeppelin loves, loves, loves, loves the Rolling Stones loves, uh, funnily enough guns and rosers, a lot Bon Jovi, uh, digs rage against the machine likes Hendrix. Just appreciates Dylan for what Dylan is, but just, you know, the, the whole folk rock thing really doesn't start. It is very interesting. I mean, I would say for a 13 year old, all of whose friends are still like doing Lil Nas X and old town road, his tastes are reasonably sophisticated.
Sonny00:16:46Well, his taste track with yours and around the same age.
JVL00:16:51You know, it's no, no, uh, his, I mean, so it started with like guns and roses, but then as he got deeper and deeper into the guitar world, he was the one seeking out like Ozzy Osbourne and Zeppelin, which I was never, I never did. Really? Yeah. Yeah. No, I was much more of like a British alt rock, like new order and the cure and the Smiths and that sort of stuff back when I was a kid, emo JBL, well, sure, sure. Yeah. Anyway. Uh, so he is, I was originally going to say that, uh, you know, he housed those 12 tacos, like in that junk. I'm a big fan of jungle animal. Speaking of jungle animals, jungle cruise with the box office thoughts, do we have box office? Really cute girl from, uh, edge of tomorrow. And uh, and the guy who used to be a wrestler, Emily Blunt, you show some respect.
Sonny00:17:48Devil wears Prada.
JVL00:17:49Quiet place. One and two. Sonny, would you like, wait a minute. Should we make Ryan give us a big boy review?
Sonny00:17:56Yeah. Okay. Do we not want to talk box office? That's dumb.
JVL00:18:00I don't know anything about the box office.
Sonny00:18:01Tell me. So the, it's actually kind of interesting. Sorry.
JVL00:18:04That was my job.
Sonny00:18:05I didn't do that. This was another, this was another Disney, Disney premiere access, uh, movie. And it, it, it did about $30 million there and it did about $30 million at the box office, which is not far off of, um, uh, like rampage, I think was the, the movie that people were comparing this to rampage, not, not exactly a huge hit. So I, if I'm Disney, I'm a, I'm slightly disappointed by this, uh, it will be interesting to see how it holds, uh, because the, the family oriented stuff has actually held pretty well. Cruella for instance, did not open super strong. I think it did 25 million or something like that while also doing the premiere access thing. Um, but it, uh, but it, but it lagged out to, oh, around 90 or so. Um, so it's, it's doing, it's, it did okay business. We'll see if this, if this lags out to one 20 or so, I, I think Disney's probably going to be happy. Um, I, the, the, the other box office thought is, uh, the, the, the other two like kind of big new releases where the green night and still water, which was very interesting to me because still water is the Matt Damon movie, the Matt Damon movie that's out now, a big Matt Damon movie. Everyone likes Ben Damon that did like $5 million and the green night, uh, beat it by like 30%. Um, which again is interesting because the green night is just kind of like an indie art house type movie, uh, with a kind of weird. Um, esoteric plot, uh, that, that audiences hated, but it still did better on opening weekend. So basically at this point, an a 24 art house, horror movie is a bigger draw than Matt Damon in a non born movie is what it comes down to. Anyway, that's, that's all the, all the box office thoughts I had.
JVL00:19:45I, uh, I have very real questions about whether or not this is going to play as a family film, but we'll, we'll talk about that later. Yeah. Ryan, would you care to give us a big boy review? I didn't prepare one, but I, I mean, I don't ever prepare one either.
Sonny00:20:02It's fine. You just wing it. It's great. Now. You're really killing me. No, um, we saw white girl Moana, um, and uh, basically, um, Emily blunt is a, um, Explorer, but um, she's not able to, um, join the, the Royal explorers club because they. They don't know what woman, um, she's kind of a Percy Fawcett, um, and so she gets, next thing you'll say, you'll have lady lawyers, pants, pants, can you believe it? That's right. They did mention that she wears pants. That was like the funniest running bit to me because I was just like, how lazy is this joke? This pants joke. I keep going back to it. They went back to it so many times. It was like family guy thing where it was like not funny at first and then it was actually kind of funny. Yeah. Yeah. Or that's what I thought too. Or like a Christopher Guest thing where like they did it so much that by the end I was like, okay, I'm, I'm on board, but I hated it for the movie, but it was, I think, I think the moment that, that flipped me was when they, uh, when, when they had the guy, the, the 400 year old Spaniards saying it, she's, she's wearing pants, the woman in pants. I was like, all right, that's actually kind of funny. Sorry. I don't mean to interrupt your big board review. I hate it. It was, uh, you're going to make me do this. Um, she needs to find the, uh, the, the tears of the moon, um, because she wants to cure all kinds of diseases, save people's lives. Um, uh, I'm telling this out of order. She needs to get to the place. The rock is the only one that knows the place and, uh, he can take her on the river boat does. One of you want to save this from me doing a terrible job.
JVL00:22:00I think you had it with white girl Moana, white, white girl Moana is some of the same
Sonny00:22:05jokes they did in Moana when he said, I warmed up the water for you. That was the Moana joke where he, he said, if you feel warm water, you know, you know, you're going the right way. Yeah. Uh, jungle cruise. So jungle cruise stars, Emily Blunt, uh, and Dwayne Johnson as a, an odd couple trying to, uh, find what it amounts to the tree of life, uh, in the Amazon. Um, it is, uh, it, it, this movie does so many things that so many other movies have done better. I mean, this is basically a dumber version of the mummy somehow the mummy with the Brendan Fraser mummy, not, not the original money, but it's, it's, it is, it's, it's like a dumber version of the mummy, which is fine. I, I, it doesn't need to be, it doesn't need to be genius, but it like down to the same, like action, action, man, uh, woman explorer beats, you know, uh, that that movie used. Um, and it's like, it's like a worse, uh, it's like a worse animated version of the pirates of the Caribbean, the first pirates of the Caribbean, which like, obviously the, the, you know, the idea and the predecessor here is you have a Disney ride. So, uh, let's, let's just kind of copy that template that we used on pirates of the Caribbean down to the, like the villains simply wanting to die. They want to be released from the curse of living. I mean, it's like, it's like the exact same thing, um, which is kind of interesting in and of itself, but it, but pirates of the Caribbean does it better. And pirates of the Caribbean looks better. Maybe I just haven't watched the original pirates of the Caribbean in a long time, but this, this, no, go ahead. I was just going to say, this was some of the most like blatant product placement. I mean, the fact that they, all the boat scenes. We're shot using zoom backgrounds was just really bad. It's really distracting.
JVL00:24:02No, a lot of pirates is shot on location, right? Actually outdoors and that makes it look better.
Sonny00:24:09Yeah. I mean this, this movie, the CGI in this movie, like from the backgrounds to the animals that, that are through it is atrocious is just like is really, really fake. I mean, there's, there's a moment I remember there, so there's a moment in this movie where Dwayne Johnson, uh, who plays the only riverboat captain who will take, uh, uh, uh, Emily Blunt and her gay brother down the Amazon to find the tree of life. Um, wait, uh, we'll get, we'll get, I'll get to that in a minute. I'll get to that in a minute. Uh, but the, but the, uh, the, the, this, this captain played by Dwayne Johnson, uh, like has, has a big fight with a Jaguar in a bar and it is, I mean, it's literally like, it's like late nineties, early off CGI quality. It's just not as good as Jurassic Park.
JVL00:24:58It looked, it looked fake. It looked fake.
Sonny00:25:01And I was like, and I thought to myself, well, maybe this is because I'm watching it at home on a screener. It's like a DVD quality. But I imagine if I went to the theater, I went to the theater, it, it was bad. Just as bad. Yeah. Um, uh, all right. So let's see. Uh, I, I'm just reading off my Letterboxd review now because I, I really did not prepare anything. Uh, the, the, the, all right, so like this whole Disney thing where they have a, a character talk about how they are gay and how they like, uh, you know, have to live a secret life without, without having them ever actually say I am gay has gone from being like kind of weird, but like, I get it to just like pathetic at this point. Just like, stop it. Just stop. I did. I'm sorry.
JVL00:25:46What? You want him to go to town on Dwayne Johnson in the movie?
Sonny00:25:49No, I just, I just, just, just say like, uh, I have them do it, have them do it on screen. I'm gay. I'm gay. And that's why my uncle wanted to disinherit me and, but I'm not going to turn my back on who I am. I'm really a, I'm a homosexual in the 19th century or whatever. Just like, just do it. And like, instead of this, like foot seeing around this tap dancing around, it's, it's like weird. It drives me kind of crazy because it's just so like wanting to have it both ways. It's wanting to have like be, you know, pat it on the back for having this brave, you know, Oh look, we've got a gay character in this family movie. Yeah. Without actually like alienating the families. Just do, do one or the other. Don't do both.
JVL00:26:30Ryan, you don't have to wait. You don't have to raise your hand, Ryan. That's not how it works on this show.
Sonny00:26:33Yeah. I, um, I can't see you because I've got this pop filter in my way, but I do have a slightly different take on that character because for the first half of the movie, I hated everything they were doing with that for all the reasons that you've said, I was just like, what year is this movie made that we're still doing treat, making gay characters like look like this. Just, you know, Oh, he's girly. He likes a lot of stuff. You know how girls have a lot of stuff he does too, but he likes to wear evening dinner jackets then on this rundown cruise, but once he finally tells the rock, like they sit down and he says, uh, you know, I had to turn down all the offers of all the, the, the women who were to be my bride because my, you know, uh, tastes lie elsewhere and that's as close as they get to saying it. And he says, you know, I, I was ostracized for who I love. Right after that, he becomes a real person. Like everything's toned down. He's like, he, he punches the rock after that, his voice changes, he drops it down. He's not doing a ridiculous kind of like character accent. And so I took that as like, they were, they were what they maybe were trying to do was like, this is how some people see gay people. But then like once they say he basically says he's gay and then after that, he's just a person. He's just a person. The rest of the movie, the rest of the movie, he was just a guy. You're giving them way too much credit because like 20 minutes, 20 minutes after this scene, they do a whole bit where the rock is like refusing help from him because it's a bunch of gay double entendres. Yeah, I, there is that.
JVL00:28:11I thought that was funny though. Two gay double entendres, which are so, so lofty. So this is, this is okay. So somebody in my wife's 20s. On Twitter world. And for all I know, it's one of our friends in the SSU said, Oh, you know, halfway through the movie, there's all these oral and anal jokes. And so I was like, really, that seems weird. And so there's like two of them and they are double entendres. So high concept that the 13 year old boy sitting next to me didn't register with them at all. And I don't know that Vic would have picked up on it, frankly. Oh, come on.
Sonny00:28:53And I think those are, those are victims. Yeah. Caliber double entendres. I don't know. A lot of people in our theater did not, my wife and I laughed out loud at those two sky. I liked them. Both of those jokes. But I mean, I thought that was silent and see, but here's the, I think, I think that's actually a funny bit, but it like, it just kind of, again, it like, it's like, if you're going to, if it's going to be funny that he is gay, then like, just, just have him be a gay guy. I, I, I, the whole thing just annoys me.
JVL00:29:20I just, so my, I have a very opposite view of this, which is that. Disney is trying to tread the line between being inclusive and being something that if you are a, you know, gay 13, cause this is a PG 13 movie, gay 13 year old out there seeing this feels like there's some recognizable character in there. You can be like, oh look, okay. I'm not a total freak without creating questions that if you are at the theater with a five year old kid, you know, just. Just create without having to create a conversation that parents have to have with that five year old kid about homosexuality earlier than you would like to have it with them. And I think that this achieves that very nicely. Actually it's one of the only things that I thought was handled well in the movie.
Sonny00:30:10I ex I, man, I hate to, this is why JVL brought me on, but JVL is always right. Ah, uh, another thing that's bad about this movie is Paul Giamatti's accent, which is basically a hate crime. It's a hate crime right out of the, uh, trailer for a house of Gucci. I don't know if you guys saw it. Did you guys watch the trailer for a house of Gucci, the Scott movie with Adam driver and lady Gaga as Versace? No, she's, I guess a Gucci.
JVL00:30:41Oh, right. Sorry. Good.
Sonny00:30:45Jared Leto, Jared Leto and his ridiculous fat. I mean that the accents and though, and, and in that trailer are bad. But the accent in, in this movie, again, it's like they must've just driven a dump truck of cash up to his house and do a hate crime for us on this movie. At least him and Jesse Plemons were in the same movie. They both were like, we know what movie they were exactly as ridiculous as each other. Yeah. So I didn't, I didn't like meth Damon very much in this movie either. I just, I didn't, I didn't think he was, I didn't think he was like, yeah, I mean, I didn't, he was, I think anybody meth Damon, who is that? He's breaking bad. Like Matt Damon. People call him meth Damon. He's the German. Oh, the fat German guy. The fat German. Yes. Gotcha. Uh, I, uh, I, I, I, I, the, the, the woman in pants joke, uh, the woman in pantalones joke, uh, running thing again, it kind of, I kind of, it kind of won me over at the end. Um, and the other, the other weird thing that annoyed me in this was the orchestral nothing else matters bit, which is already an orchestral song, which like it's, it's like they were like, well, we need to get, we need to get. We need to get the version that they did with the San Francisco symphony orchestra. We can't just have the one from the album. We gotta get like, we, it's gotta, I was just like, just, okay, whatever I meant to look this up. Was there any significance to why they, they, I mean, I was like, okay, what are the lyrics is that?
JVL00:32:12I wonder if that is some, a bit of music that has been played on the ride because that this thing is stuffed full of Easter eggs and nods to the history of the jungle cruise ride. Yeah.
Sonny00:32:25I don't know anything about, there was an, you can talk about that in a minute. The one thing I will say that I thought worked in this movie was, uh, Dwayne Johnson and Emily blunt, who I thought are very good together. Uh, I like, I like both of them together and separately. I thought Dwayne Johnson's bit where he's doing the like dad joke puns at the beginning and everybody's groaning. Like I made me laugh. I was like, it was good. Just like him, him just like tossing them off with the straightest face. Uh, it just, again, it cracked me up. And I, I, I think. I think Emily blunt is incredibly charming. I think she is, uh, like the most charismatic female lead working in movies today, possibly in that age range of like, you know, 30 to 40. Um, like it's, she's just, she's just very, very good in this and in everything else that I see her in.
JVL00:33:15I love her. Um. She is game.
Sonny00:33:18She, she is, she is, she will do, she'll do what, even in, even in the terrible Mary Poppins uh, sequel or re reboot or whatever that was. She was very good at that. Yeah.
JVL00:33:29Um. Even if stuff is not working around her. She's just, it doesn't matter whether it's broad comedy or sci-fi action. Yeah. She's just down to throw herself into it and to play, to really play, be committed to it. Mm-hmm .
Sonny00:33:43And I.
JVL00:33:44She commits to the bit. She really does. And I find that very impressive.
Sonny00:33:47Yeah. I. Yeah. I have nothing but praise for. Yeah. Yeah. Almost everything she does. Mm-hmm . I can't hate this movie. Mm-hmm . Because all, all it needs to do is charm me on a fairly regular basis. And even with the terrible CGI and even with the, the, we haven't even talked about what the actual plot of this movie is involving 400 year old Spaniards being trapped in the, in the, in the jungle. Where they need river water. They need river water for some reason, if they don't get the river water, they turn to stone. And why. Which I don't know why they didn't just turn them to stone immediately. And why did drops of river water. And why did drops of river water. And why did drops of river water bring snakes alive, you know, and not the rest of the guy. And not, not, not entirely clear to me. No, like they're, they're, they're again, the, the CGI in this movie is really, really bad. And it like, kind of, it kind of like does not serve the purpose of the, the, the, the, the rest of the movie. And like, and nothing, none of this is like, why is one of them a sh is he a mud demon or a shit monster? Or I can't even tell. One of them controls bees.
JVL00:34:49One of them controls bees for some reason, they have become, they've been claimed by the jungle and their bodies ravaged by the jungle for three, I understand, but I kind of understand that Jones's locker.
Sonny00:35:02Exactly. No, but I mean, this is just, it's all just, it's all just, you know, like bad pirates of the Caribbean knockoff stuff and it like the, it was done, it was done better. It was done better 20 years ago, which is shocking. I just don't, I don't know how that happened, but, but I, I, again, I like all of this aside, uh, because, because Emily Blunt. And Dwayne Johnson are real stars. I like basically give the movie a pass.
JVL00:35:27Ryan. What'd you think?
Sonny00:35:29I mean, I have, um, I I've expressed, did you see it alone or did you take kids? Uh, it took, um, uh, one kid, uh, Jack, what age is 11. Okay. What did he think? He really liked it. He loved it. Um, and my wife and I both went and, um, I, we have the same criticisms, the ridiculousness, uh, it was maybe 10 minutes into the rock and Emily Blunt being, um, on the boat together, um, that my wife whispered to me, white girl, Moana, and I then, and then it just kept going. It was, you know, the rock trying to talk her out of it. Um, you know, the plot didn't make any sense. The CGI was so bad, all the things we've already said, but I don't know, I'm a sucker for you. Get the rock in some kind of. Explorer outfit or, you know, where he's got on a quest it to me, it was, it's a notch below the Jumanji movies, but I'm, I'm here for it. I, I enjoyed it. I, I ended up liking it, um, because Emily Blunt and him were, they were good enough together. There was enough chemistry between him and the, the running dad jokes. I love that the running bit where the rock is constantly, you know, setting people up with the tiger fight with the, um, with the natives, uh, everything I, I, I was, I was in for it. The only thing I didn't like was the, what, what was going on with the plot, but if outside of the plot, it was great. Can we get, can we get a quick ranking of jungle movies starring the rock? All right. So we've got number one, the rundown, Jumanji, number two, the rundown.
JVL00:37:22Number three, rampage, number four, jungle cruise.
Sonny00:37:29You put, you put the, you put Jumanji over the rundown.
JVL00:37:34I haven't seen the rundown in a long time. I like it a lot.
Sonny00:37:37I forgot about it.
JVL00:37:38Jumanji, the original Jumanji. I liked it. I liked it a ton. I, the original Jumanji is really good.
Sonny00:37:43Well, the second Jumanji, oh, sorry. Well, the second and third Jumanji. Yes. I would say. I would, I would go the rundown, then the Jumanjis, then this, and then probably rampage below this. I would go the. I can't really remember if rampage was in a jungle at all. It was in, was in a desert. There were CGI animals that the rock was fighting. There was water. There was water. He was, he probably had some sort of cutting. They hunt a wolf in the forest.
JVL00:38:18But the wolf can fly. Who can tell?
Sonny00:38:20But the wolf can fly. It's not, but it's not. Yeah. It's not like South American forest. It's like North American forest. It's like timber country. One thing I didn't like about Paul Giamatti was they kind of made him, they didn't make him evil enough. Like the rubber barons of the Amazon.
JVL00:38:36Those guys were, well, how does it make, I mean, the robber baron should have been, should have been Dwayne Johnson's character because he's 400 years old and he built the town. That's if you're the oldest guy in the town, then you are the richest guy, right? If vampires were real, then they would all be billionaires. Because being able to amass capital in infinitely is what makes you rich. It's like the definition of rich, uh, you know, I, I didn't hate it, but I think you guys are being too soft on it. Uh, I, so when I, I look at this, I literally have written in my notes, I have, uh, pirates of the Caribbean meets African queen with a dollop of the mummy. And it is. Like all of these other movies, exactly as you said, Sonny, but, but less interesting in every, not worse exact, but just less interesting. Right. And, uh, so the big thing that, that I think it fails for me is the family movie test. So I would argue that this movie is too intense for kids under eight years old and too babyish for anybody over 12. And so the real target audience for this is going to be 10, 11. 12 year olds. That's why I asked the, I asked what the age of the kid, and it does not surprise me that your 11 year old loved it. My son who's almost 13 probably wouldn't have liked it. He didn't. Right. This is, it's a really narrow slice of family for which it's appropriate. And the intensity stuff is largely like the body horror. Like, you know, I think snakes coming out of cuts on a face would give a seven year old kid nightmares. Horrifying.
Sonny00:40:16Yeah. Unnecessary. A friend of the, friend of the show asked if he should let his kid, if he should get it for his kids. I was like, nah, it's, it's too, too scary for like eight and under.
JVL00:40:26And so, so I can see very easily how you could have done a PG version of this that would have been totally accessible to, to younger kids in the way, frankly, that the, the Jumanji movie is. Mm-hmm. Jumanji is fine. And, and Jumanji played like hell from my group of like four through 13. They all, they, all of them loved the Jumanji. Yeah. And they had done that with this without compromising anything. It was just a weird choice to make it slightly too dark and intense and in only a few scenes. But then, you know, I mean, so I was thinking, you know, what is it, I mean, all of the problems this has, I think also manifest in Pirates. Um, you know, it's overly long, uh, it takes a little bit too long to get started. It, uh, it does too many character introductions. There's one too many set pieces. Yeah. It's completely too convoluted to the point where with all the double crosses, you can't fully understand who's, you know, what's a double, a triple and a quadruple cross. The difference is that the Pirates of the, the first Pirates of the Caribbean is saved by the Jack Sparrow character who at the time was so out of left field that we spent the whole movie just trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Is he gay? Is he Fay? Is he God knows what? It's everything about it was so, and part of this is Johnny Depp, but part of this is the writing team. I mean, this is, you know, like he, he wasn't improv-ing all of those, like, you know, the character was written to be played like that and it was so fresh and interesting that it held your attention even through the movie's flaws. And there's nothing like that here. And I mean, Dwayne Johnson's character is very paint by numbers, Emily Blunt's character is very paint by numbers. There's nothing wrong with that. And they do have very nice chemistry together. But it just isn't quite enough to hold your attention all the way through the, the lulls and through the things where it is one action sequence too, too long. One double cross too long, you know? And so I think it, it winds up failing in those ways in which again, of these types of movies, the mummy is far better and the mummy again, as a kid's movie, the mummy is way too intense for like an eight year old, but it's actioning enough to really hold kids all the way. To like 16 or 17 or even to adults. Right.
Sonny00:42:53Yeah. Yeah. I mean that movie came out in 99. Right. So I, I must've been 17 when that came out. It was either 16 or 17. It was really fun to watch.
JVL00:43:00Yeah. It was a fun ride even if you were a teenager. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and I, I, the other thing is this does not, I mean, Pirates feels kind of epic in scope because they get you outdoors on the ocean. Yeah. This, because you're in a river, it just feels small and constricted.
Sonny00:43:19Almost all the time. Well, it doesn't help. Well, it doesn't help that it looks, everything looks so fake all the time. I mean, like it, it doesn't even look like it shot on a set. It doesn't even look like Congo or something where it's like, it's like, okay, this is like a cheap looking set, but at least they're like there.
JVL00:43:34Yeah. Yeah. I, as I said, just all, all everything in it, it just, it's just not good enough. And it doesn't, doesn't it be great, but not good enough to really work.
Sonny00:43:44But it's also, no, but it's actively bad in a lot of ways. I mean, that's the problem. It's not that it's not good enough. It, it, it fails at doing the things it wants to do.
JVL00:43:52I think that's right. And, and the failures here, I really go to the, um, the direction and the writing, you know, people forget Gore Verbinski directed the first Pirates of the Caribbean. Well, it was a weird thing to have Gore Verbinski, who was a real director who only on real visual flair and sense of style doing a theme park ride, uh, and the, the, the guy who's, I can't pronounce his name, he's a Spanish director, uh, who actually has some interesting indie credits. Yeah. But just, I almost nothing in it is visually interesting.
Sonny00:44:25Well, I mean, it's, it, it's, it's like getting subsumed into the Marvel style, but without the kind of competent second unit teams guiding the action. Yes. That's basically what happened here. Yes. I would agree with that. I, maybe just because I've recently finished the book about Christopher Nolan that I just found myself thinking about like, what would this. Be like, if it were a Christopher Nolan movie, he would have made those actors miserable. He would have put them out there in the rain. He grew corn on the side of a goddamn mountain for interstellar. He would have put them on, you know, in a river, in a boat on a river.
JVL00:45:06In an alternate timeline, just a couple in an alternate time. I would like to take Christopher Nolan's family hostage and force him to direct a movie like this, like for early transformers or like some totally garbage property. And just see what it would come out like, because that would be kind of interesting, wouldn't it? Yeah.
Sonny00:45:25Christopher Nolan's rampage. I mean, he would, he would do something weird with the sound in which in the book he, he admits that like, when you can't hear the sound, that's your fault because he was doing something that's never been done before.
JVL00:45:40That's very Nolan. Yeah. So yeah, that's, that's all I really had about it. I have a bunch of stuff about the ride, which I think is, is interesting.
Sonny00:45:48Um, and well, yeah, I mean, I, I think it's worth talking about just because you know, the, the, the idea of this is like, so I mean like the idea when, when pirates of the Caribbean, the movie was announced, everyone rolled their eyes for like, oh, based on a ride, how dumb could that be? And then I like, oh wait, this actually works, but this does not.
JVL00:46:09And I wonder if it has something to do with, well, what's funny is that the ride is based on the movie African queen. Yeah. That is literally the inspiration. Yeah. I mean, everyone's around saying, I want it to look like the African queen. And uh, and it's, so it's interesting in that. So the ride jungle cruise premieres at Disneyland and then eventually comes to all the Disney properties. Uh, it is different at every Disney property and the original Disneyland in California, you have, uh, the, the ride is ostensibly through a series of Asian and African rivers at Disney world in Orlando. It's the Amazon, which is where this comes from. Uh, when you go out to Disney Hong Kong, it's all African, I think, uh, it is one of the more coveted jobs at the park because it is a spiel ride. Spiel is the acronym for show awareness, presentation, interaction, enthusiasm, and language, which basically means that the, the, the kids who work at the park are allowed to talk to people. But uh, a lot of, a lot of the people do this are interested in standup and they are allowed to. With pre-approval, write their own jokes and try to, uh, occasionally do improv. And oftentimes jokes that really work that the, the kids come up with will get incorporated into the, the official script, which is kind of interesting. Uh, originally in the show, the guides had, uh, real guns, Smith and Wessons that they carried that were loaded with blanks and the guns were used to shoot the hippos. When the animatronic hippos came up, uh, the guns also doubled as a system of communicating back with the ride operator, main, main mothership. And so it was two shots was, uh, no, no problem is just the part of the ride where we do the hippo attack. Three shots was like, there's something wrong with the, the, you know, the, the railing underneath, which is pulling the boat around. Four shots means somebody has had a heart attack on the boat.
Sonny00:48:17Five shots met. I forget what five shots meant. Um, one shot operator committed suicide in the, in the 1990s.
JVL00:48:24Uh, but the only thing that's interesting is that it was originally a serious ride. It was originally conceived of as a, a true nature ride to immerse people in exactly what it would have been like. Walt wanted there to be real animals on it. Walt wanted there to be like hippos and stuff. And uh, it was explained to Walt, we can't, sir, we can't do that. We can't put a hippopotamus in the river.
Sonny00:48:46You can't put. It's the most dangerous water animal in a, in a five foot man in the, in the, in the,
JVL00:48:52you know, you can't build the ride for dinosaurs. Uh, but it, it started getting funnier in the sixties and the ride changed with America in that way.
Sonny00:49:03It, uh, it became more jokey and, uh, but none of those jokes were problematic at all.
JVL00:49:11Can you only imagine anyway, and they, they've, you know, they're always changing it. I think they've, uh, recently. Did, uh, a big renovation. It's unclear to me if they're going to lean into the Dwayne Johnson of vacation of this hard or not. I hope not. I hope it stays its own chintzy thing. I don't know what you guys, your feelings are in Disney world. I love Disney, but I only ever went to Disney without kids. So Shannon and I used to go to Disney every year, once a year, just the two of us before we had children and going to Disney without kids is an amazing and magical experience. I can't imagine how miserable it would be. With children. Yeah.
Sonny00:49:48I, uh, I've only been to Disneyland, like I've been to Disneyland twice and the last time it was when I was 13 land land land, not world, uh, I have no real desire to go except I do kind of want to see the new star Wars world. Hmm. Do you see the prices on the cabins? Galaxy's edge. Oh, well, no, no. I mean, galaxy's edge, not the like, not the cruise ship thing. Did you guys see this today? Tell me they, so they're, they, they Disney put out a, you know, a release that was like, Hey, we've got this new star ship cruiser thing coming in. Basically it's like you're, it's like going on a cruise, but you stay on land, but it's like a star ship. It's like a star destroyer or whatever. Um, and it's, it's like $4,800 for two nights, $800 no that's per night for two people, $4,800 for two people. $4,800. I mean, you gotta pay the benefits.
JVL00:50:46Yeah. Two nights a year. You're each allowed to choke to death, uh, an admiral. Yeah. Right.
Sonny00:50:51You're each allowed to choke one admiral to death. They gave you a real lightsaber and you can just go to town.
JVL00:50:55I mean, it sounds amazing. I'm sorry. What, what is there?
Sonny00:50:58I just, it's expensive. That's, that's an expensive thing.
JVL00:51:02That's why you do a podcast Sonny.
Sonny00:51:04But Disney is also just expensive. Like Disney is like super expensive. I don't, I like, I don't really understand the people who go like every year and where, where they, where they're getting their money. Man. Where are you, man? What are you? Are you Disney people? We, I, I went several times as a kid, uh, I have a lot of family in Florida. My grandparents were there. So I went over the years, you know, as a kid, we've taken, we went two times where we actually took kids, but that was two kids ago. And so we, we took, uh, two of them when we, we had three at the time, but we took only two. And it was, it, it, it was a nightmare. I mean, it was, you know, there were fun moments, but for the most part it was, and we always would, we, it seems like something we talk about where we'd like to do it again with more of them, but it, it's just, no, it's no, no, no, so expensive and it would just be so bad.
JVL00:52:09No, I'm, I'm looking forward to going again. Once all of our kids are out of the house, that's the next time I'll be at Disney. Yeah. Did you guys also know as a bit of trivia, Victorino Matus, uh, like Ricky J who had his picture up in every casino in Las Vegas as not being allowed to enter the casino floor. I've been told that Disney world has that for Vic at Ariel's grotto. So there was some sort of incident the last time he was down there and he is not allowed near Ariel's grotto under any big up the restraining order and everything. It's, uh, it's something to do with tentacles. Uh, so yeah. Okay. So we are all weirdly in, I, you know, I have friends who are Disney people, um, like close friends and they've got two kids and they are members of the Disney timeshare club and they just like, they have going from Northern Virginia to Orlando down to a science. They do it in a straight shot, you know, they leave their room, they leave their house at a certain hour knowing that they'll get them to there. They leave their Disney world property, uh, and they've done all of them. Like they've been to the Disney resorts in Hawaii and, and they, they love, they are so into it. They love it so much. Whenever I'm at their house, they've got the, the, the Disney station on Pandora playing or Spotify. Uh, and I, I always think to myself, it sounds, it sounds pretty awesome. It looks pretty awesome. But they only have two kids. Their kids are older.
Sonny00:53:45Yeah.
JVL00:53:46I can't imagine what it was like when their kids were four and six. I can't, yeah, it, yeah, it's the place for kids, not for kids.
Sonny00:54:00I, yeah, I, I wanna, I, I would like to go with my family at some point, but I, I just like, I, I barely like going to the mall. I mean, think about how bad it is going to the mall, the mall area. Yeah. Just the worst.
JVL00:54:16Yeah. Just the worst. I.
Sonny00:54:19Going to, going to the pool is fine. No. Because I can like. Going to the pool is the worst. Nah, it's, it's fine. Yeah. I, 'cause I can just sit on the edge and watch the kids. Yeah. There you go. Not my kids. They're like the little. I'm just like, hey, all right, this is great. I jumped in the pool with my phone yesterday to get one of my kids out. So.
JVL00:54:33Uh, okay. That's enough Jungle Cruise spirit of the week. I don't know what you guys, are you, are either of you drinking, I am drinking a Dogfish Head Quench Ale.
Sonny00:54:45I was going to say that looks like a Sea Quench. It is. It's a good beer. I really like Sea Quenches. Yeah. This is. It's a good beer.
JVL00:54:52It's a little bit sour. Don't tell anyone. This is my second one tonight.
Sonny00:54:55What? You are crazy, man. I was actually going to make, I was going to make a, a Raspberry Rum Shrub tonight and I did not because like it's a ice drink. You have to have ice in it. It clinks around a lot when you drink it. But the.
JVL00:55:09What is it? Raspberry Rum Shrub?
Sonny00:55:11Raspberry Rum Shrub. So it's, it's back from. Yeah. Ye olden colonial times they used to make this, but basically it's a, it's, it's rum and a raspberry shrub, which is like a simple syrup with vinegar and raspberries that you kind of boil down and turn into a syrup and club soda and ice. You can make it with ginger ale and ice instead of club soda, but that is exceptionally sweet. I don't, I don't love it. But the, but it's, it's a wonderful summer drink. It's like the best summer drink.
JVL00:55:43It sounds really complicated to make.
Sonny00:55:45There's cooking involved. Yeah. So you, you have to make the shrub. Well, you can buy a shrub, you can buy a shrub, but you, but if you make it yourself, it only takes like 15 minutes. It's actually not that hard. It's just, this is all right, here's, here's how you do it. You boil together a cup of, cup of water, cup of sugar. And once that gets to a boil, you add in two pints of raspberries and you lower the heat, you stir it for like 10 minutes, stir it occasionally for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, you add a cup of white wine vinegar, uh, I'm sorry, you add two cups of white wine vinegar and return it to a boil. Once it boils, you let it boil for two minutes, turn off the heat, then you got to strain it and stuff. But like, it's really not that hard. If you make, if you make your own syrups, as I do as a man of, of leisure and tastes, it's really not that, as far as making syrups go, it goes, it's not that hard.
JVL00:56:34Ryan, what are you drinking there in that little plastic cup?
Sonny00:56:37I am drinking some of my brother Patrick's, uh, Johnny Walker gold label. Ooh.
JVL00:56:44Gold.
Sonny00:56:45Fancy.
JVL00:56:46Yeah. And you're drinking it from a plastic kid's cup.
Sonny00:56:48Plastic cup. It's a plastic. Fill of ice. Jameson cup because he is in his late twenties and lives alone. So he has only these cups. My daughter drank milk out of this cup today.
JVL00:57:01Where is the gold on the Johnny Walker color spectrum?
Sonny00:57:06It's what is it? It's red, black. Blue. Gold.
JVL00:57:10Blue.
Sonny00:57:11Or is it gold blue? He told me it was about. A hundred and twenty dollars. He bought it as a present for himself when his company won their first trial in which he was an expert with this. There used to be there used to be a green. I don't think green label is on the market name. Maybe they put it back. But it used to be red, black, green, gold, blue. And I, I think now they don't have the green anymore. So it's not the nicest, but it's it's very sunny.
JVL00:57:40Can I get a ruling on somebody who spends? A hundred twenty dollars on is it is Johnny Walker whiskey or scotch and then puts it into plastic? Should should Patrick treat himself to Amazon sells glass tumblers for four dollars?
Sonny00:57:55He has. I would had cups. He's moving in there. All of his cups except for the plastic ones are packed.
JVL00:58:01OK, that's I'm sorry.
Sonny00:58:02I understand. I just I. Yeah, I just. You're right. I just wouldn't spend one hundred twenty dollars on a blended whiskey is all I wouldn't. I would spend. I will sufficiently chastise him when I'm done. I would. I would spend a single month if I'm going to be spending that sort of money. But he doesn't. He knows as much as I do about scotch or whiskey, which is probably the expensive is the best. The expense is good, right?
Mike00:58:25Yeah.
JVL00:58:26All right. That's all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, complaints, compliments. Tweet us at Sonny Bunch at Ryan. Are you on Twitter at at dot comma at dot comma at or go over. Beacon dot com and leave a comment there at SSE you, but we're there like, Yeah, plug
Sonny00:58:48your.
JVL00:58:49Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, and also you should go listen to us as you pod, which I love it. It's it's my favorite podcast and it is the premier podcast for counting for European orgy stories. Sonny, you will like this. Actually, this is a big special. You know what? I'll save it for outtakes. But it is it is an outstanding show and everybody should listen to it. I love it.
Sonny00:59:13That's too nice. JBL Sonny, Vic have all been on. We made Sonny do a draft. It was great.
JVL00:59:20I won the draft until next time. So Sonny, the other great story that they had at the SSE show last week, and this is a Vic special was it was it the Netherlands that yeah, the Netherlands.
Sonny00:59:42Has a a hooker allowance up to people with disabilities up to one payment for 12 months. So up to 12 payments that you can flash go away. You're not supposed to listen to this that you can use for a prostitute from the government. If you're have a handicap or if you're disabled, wait, so it's like a month. They say you can have, you know, wait, wait, it's a monthly.
JVL01:00:15How do they determine what?
Sonny01:00:16You know, like an average getting right into my thing is how is it average costs for a prostitute? No.
JVL01:00:23Okay. That's not my question. My big question. Look at you and they decide how often annually could you probably talk a girl on the bed? And if you have like no legs and one arm, you probably say that guy's just not getting any action unless he can pay for it.
Sonny01:00:38So it's like a disability. It's like a disability rating. If you are like the military, like I'm 85% disabled are one mangled hand.
JVL01:00:46They're like, you know what? You could stick that in your jeans pocket. She won't even know you'll get her slipper roofie and then you could probably get laid three times a year.
Sonny01:00:54We'll give you nine payments because apparently they decided you it's a right to have sex once a month.
JVL01:01:02It is a human right. So human right. You have always been against socialism and I have to think that we're changing your mind right now. Victorino's mind.
Sonny01:01:12I mean, I, I, I feel like if you want to have sex, you should pay for it yourself. Not rely on the teat of government to get the teat of the hooker that what about the, you don't, you don't care about taking care of those who can't take care of themselves. The poor, the, I feel bad for the woman subjected to these monsters. You should see the, you should see the picture that came with the article because it is a, is a man in a wheelchair. With just the, he looks like it's his, the happiest day of his life and he is an electric wheelchair pushing himself along with a woman sitting on his, on her lap, on his lap and she kind of has to look like, I guess we're doing this. This is my life. I've made a series of bad choices and they've resulted in this, should be getting anti prostitution
JVL01:02:04campaign. That is a line of work that she chose and you should respect Sonny.
Sonny01:02:08I don't, I don't respect it. I don't. I don't respect the people who can't afford to pay for it themselves.
JVL01:02:14Bums. The bums will always lose. Mr. Last. The bums had their chance. But now I wonder if any of these guys ever use that money to procure a teach job.
Sonny01:02:28I don't get it.
?01:02:29Ryan.
Sonny01:02:30I'm sure it's fine. Whatever you said, I'm sure it's fine.
JVL01:02:33Ryan, you're the guest. You get to say it. Go ahead. I'm sure it's fine.
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