#39. 'Pig' and 'Snake Eyes' (2021)
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This doubleheader episode covers Pig (in theaters) and Snake Eyes (2021), with Sonny and Vic raving about the former while JVL delivers a solo take on the latter, having literally sprinted home from the theater to record fresh. Sonny calls Pig the best new movie he's seen this year — not the Nicolas-Cage-goes-Taken action thriller its trailer implies, but a mellow, gorgeously lit meditation on food, memory, and the loneliness of craft, anchored by a restrained Cage performance as a reclusive former top chef whose truffle-hunting pig is stolen. Vic agrees enthusiastically, scoring it Plot A+, Duration A+, and Violence/Action C+ on his Quadrant system, and lingers on a Proustian "madeleine" reading of the scene where Cage's character recalls, dish for dish, the last meal he cooked for Adam Arkin's dying wife. JVL couldn't find Pig playing anywhere near him and instead caught Snake Eyes, which he dissects at length as a baffling, blood-free "gritty reboot" that inverts the GI Joe comics' hero/villain roles for no earned reason and promptly bombed at the box office. The long opening third is dominated by an extended, combative pizza debate — Sonny defends Dallas's Piggy Pies against Vic and JVL's needling, and the trio tours through Grimaldi's, Generous George's, Geppetto's, Jumbo Slice, and the long-lost Pizza Hut Priazza — plus Vic recounting his "Home Alone" week with the kids away (cooking penne arrabbiata, riffing on a viral New York Post story) and a lengthy digression on which meals actually stick in the memory, from Morton's steaks to 11 Madison Park to a Vietnam-war MRE. They close with quick Ted Lasso and Bridgerton banter and a correction on where "Flag" went to college.
From the show notes
Sonny explains pizza to Vic and JVL. Vic and Sonny explain Pig to JVL. JVL explains Snake Eyes to Vic and Sonny. All that and more on this week's episode.
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00"I'm looking for a truffle pig. Someone stole her. I don't understand. Tell him who you are. You made the right choice being out there in the woods. There's nothing here for you anymore. There's really nothing here for most of us. Buy yourself a new pig."
?00:00:30Sub-Beacon.com
Vic00:00:37Hello and welcome to another edition of the Sub-Beacon. I'm Victor Matus along with Jonathan V Last and Sonny Bunch. Just a reminder the Sub-Beacon is now available through Patreon. Go to Sub-Beacon.com. You'll easily find us. Please subscribe, tell your friends, and don't forget about the Sub-Beacon merchandise store at tpublic.com. Gentlemen, how are we? JVL, welcome back.
JVL00:01:00Thank you. Thank you. I have just come from the theater. So I drove home as fast as I could and I hopped out of my car and I ran inside and I opened up my laptop so I could be here with the freshest movie take ever. I've never done a review. I've never done a show having literally just come from the theater seeing a movie.
Vic00:01:26Well, we'll discuss in a second. Not to give it away too soon. But the movie you saw, is today the opening day of this movie? No, it came out last. Oh, was it last weekend? It was last weekend. Oh, was it last weekend? Yeah, I thought it was last weekend. Oh, I didn't realize that.
Sonny00:01:41Okay. Jungle Cruise, right? I have to deal with this all the time now because I'm not on the press list in Dallas. So basically, I go see things on Thursday night when it opens and then I write the review either that night for my newsletter the next day, screen time. Like while the iron's hot. Or I do it like the next morning or if I go to a later showing, if I go to a 10:00 PM showing, I'll usually go to bed, wake up like four or five hours later.
Vic00:02:09How do you sleep though? Do you worry about losing ideas in your sleep when you're like, "Oh, I'm going to write it tomorrow morning?" Or do you think in your mind it's percolating?
Sonny00:02:18I don't have any ideas.
Vic00:02:21I don't have any interesting thoughts, so I'm not too worried.
Sonny00:02:27No, I mean, I actually don't really... I don't like writing at the night of because I like to let it... I like to sleep on it. You get to sleep on it. I like to like sit with it, and this is one reason why I always went to the early screenings was not because I was like one of these people who was putting up reviews like the night after I saw it and I want to beat everybody else, like I want to be the first person on Rotten Tomatoes or whatever, but because I like to think about the movie for a day or two before I actually write something, and I can't really do that anymore, which is frustrating.
Vic00:02:57The first of all of these... Going back in time, was it Ain't It Cool News? Was that the first of like on the internet, here's a movie review fresh from...
Sonny00:03:07Well, I mean Ain't It Cool was different because Ain't It Cool was like a... Inside leaks. Yeah, it was like a leak site. It was like you would go there and they'd be like, "We got a spy on the set of the new Batman movie who's telling us all about the bat nipples," and then it would be like Harry Knowles being like just this illiterate rant. Of semi-capitalized and punctuated things, it would be like, "I can't believe what they're doing to my Batman."
JVL00:03:37Where is Harry Knowles? Did he die? Is he still alive? No.
Sonny00:03:43Did he just get canceled? No, he had like a health crisis because he weighed like 700 pounds and was like moving
Vic00:03:49around...
Sonny00:03:50That's what I remember about him. Moving around Austin literally in a wheelchair, he had like a rascal that he was getting around in. Ooh. And because he was a sex pest, he kept sexually harassing ladies at the Drafthouse of the Fantastic Fests. A successful leader.
JVL00:04:06I don't believe that at all. Hardly. That sounds utterly fantastical. Those women must be making that up.
Sonny00:04:15That whole crew, that whole like Harry Knowles, Devin Farachi set, just like rife with creeps and disgusting perverts.
Vic00:04:22I'm withholding a verdict until I can get the answer to successful or unsuccessful. I'm going to assume unsuccessful.
Sonny00:04:29Well, it depends on your definition of success.
Vic00:04:33It's just grabbing ladies. It's dark. It's like working at the Haunted Mansion in the 80s.
JVL00:04:38He got married. He did get married. What? Do you remember this was a big deal when he got married? He found somebody through his film community and, you know, but that guy had creep written all over him, I think, from the very beginning.
Vic00:04:49And he also, I remember at some point he sort of jumped the shark, right, because suddenly it was like they wanted, like the studio was new.
JVL00:04:56It was when Drew McSweeney left. Drew McQueen. Drew McQueen. Sorry.
Sonny00:05:00No, no. The moment he jumped the shark was when he appeared in the movie Monkeybone. You remember the movie Monkeybone?
JVL00:05:06Oh, Brendan Fraser? The Brendan Fraser.
Sonny00:05:08Oh, right. Chris Kattan, a movie that had like stop motion animated sequences. It was directed by Henry Selick, who's the guy who made Nightmare Before Christmas and some other stuff. Wow. But I actually like Monkeybone. This is like neither here nor there, but he had like a bit part in it and then he ripped, tore it apart, like on the site. He was like, "This movie's terrible." He had a bit part as himself? To maintain his... Yeah. No, just as like a guy. He was literally like there was a shot of a guy watering a bush or something. It was Harry Knowles, but it wasn't like Harry Knowles, it was just like big fat redhead. And then he wrote this, he tore it apart. But I think that was the moment when everyone realized like, "Oh, this has to end." It has to end. We have to snuff out this entire breed of nerd blog dickhead.
JVL00:06:04Blog. Nerd blog. That's right. Nerd blog. We need real journalists like Deadline.
?00:06:09Sorry. All right.
Sonny00:06:11Look, at the very least, Deadline serves a useful purpose by serving as a repository of press releases. Yeah, that's what it is.
Vic00:06:20The only thing I know about Deadline is it's always reporting from the Golden Globes. Isn't that what it did? That's not right. Victorino.
Sonny00:06:28Victorino. How are you, buddy?
Vic00:06:30Everybody reports from the Golden Globes. That's right. They had the inside scoop. I'm doing fine. This is like Home Alone part two. The kids have been away for almost two weeks. We're going to see them soon. Again? I saw that story in the New York Post.
Sonny00:06:40Yeah. You know what?
Vic00:06:42First of all, factual errors. We were surprised you guys made it. Factual errors. I'm not Japanese, and it did not take place in Japan. Wait.
Sonny00:06:48Hold on. Let me pull it up. Go ahead. The headline here. Here's the tweet. I sent it to JVL and Jon. I'm sorry. JVL and Jon. I'm sorry. JVL and Vic with this text message. Vic's week alone went even better than we thought. Here's the tweet from the New York Post. So unfair. So unfair. "Man almost masturbates himself to death. Medical case."
Vic00:07:07To death. There are so many great little nuggets in this piece by the writer. My favorite one was a line about where he had the stroke mid-stroke. It was really good.
JVL00:07:20It was just fantastic.
Vic00:07:22It was like, "Wow."
JVL00:07:23Not since Anthony Weiner.
Sonny00:07:25I didn't actually read it. I didn't actually read the story. It wasn't about a guy who like ... It wasn't about a rat hitting the pleasure pellet until he starved to death. It was he had a stroke mid-act.
Vic00:07:33Basically, he just kept on going. He just kept on going multiple times a day, because what else is there to do? What else is there to do?
JVL00:07:39He was watching the entire Harry Potter series. He's doing a Harry Potter-thon, and by the sixth movie ...
Vic00:07:47Right, right, right, right. The Half-Blood Prince, he's getting weak-kneed.
Sonny00:07:53Is that actually the sixth movie?
Vic00:07:55I have no idea. It'd be pretty impressive if it was. Yes, no, there were a lot of great lines in there about that piece if you revisited. There were lines where I was laughing out loud. I was so impressed. It was like I was so in awe. That's coming from me. So, I'm doing fine, and it's just me, and not home alone, I should say. Home with the missus, but without the kids. But we are home alone, if you know what I mean. That's nice. If we could just ... Yeah. That's right. If we could just wrap up the show, I gotta finish my invasion of Japan. Got some sieve.
Sonny00:08:30Sieve. Sieve it up. You know what? I think she's- Are you guys gonna talk about sieve for like 15 minutes? Can I go get a- No, no, no, no, no.
Vic00:08:37Should I go make myself a drink or something and come back? Use a bathroom if you need to. She, I think she's upstairs actually sieving it up now, because we have to pack. But I think-
JVL00:08:44Naked sieve with your wife while your kids are away. It's wild. Might as well be the gateway to Valhalla.
Vic00:08:51That's right. That's my ballista. Thank you, ballista. So that's it. And the other thing is I took advantage of this time to cook things that I normally wouldn't cook because the kids are not- Like a clamwich for your wife? A clamwich.
JVL00:09:05Did you make her a clamwich? You know what? I made her a- What did she get for you? I made her-
Vic00:09:10Whoa. I missed it.
JVL00:09:12Sorry.
Vic00:09:13Sorry. I spoke over you. Sorry. What is that? Oh, speaking of clamwiches. I made penne arrabbiata. Ooh. And that's very spicy. A little bit of chili flakes in it? It is. No. I made it from the garden, so even wilder, but it was more roasty, garlicky. And once you cook your peppers, it tempers. It's still hot and the heat is evenly ... What's the word I'm looking for? Distributed. Distributed. I don't know my words no more. But it was ... So it's a mild heat, but the actual pepper itself, once you cook it, is not bad. So I did that, but speaking of Italian food, Sonny-
Sonny00:09:54Italian food.
Vic00:09:56Italian food, Sonny, you made a discovery. You found good pizza in Dallas. Is that possibly true?
Sonny00:10:02Oh, well, I mean, well, some idiot tweeted something like ... tweeted out a really kind of gross-looking picture of a pizza and was like, "You could never get this in Texas," like some New Jersey lady. Oh, how dare you? I was like, "How could you?"
Vic00:10:19Don't ... It would be ... If it was gross, it would not be from Jersey.
Sonny00:10:21Go ahead. "You can't get this in Texas," and I was like ... I mean, I tweeted back something like, "Ma'am, I assure you we have Papa John's in Dallas," but the ... I'm still looking for a great one. Piggy Pies is a place I go to that is like ... It's called what? Piggy Pies. Oh, my gosh. Piggy, like piggy, and then pie, like pizza pie, is very good. It's like a very solid standalone place. There's a Grimaldi's here. I've been to the original Grimaldi's in Brooklyn.
Vic00:10:54Oh, Grimaldi's.
Sonny00:10:55Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Which is ...
Vic00:10:59Oh, like New York pizza.
Sonny00:11:00Yeah. I kind of want to go there, but it's actually not far. I should go there. There are a couple ... People came up with a couple of recommendations. There's a couple of Neapolitan places that are fine. Oh, the Neapolitan.
Vic00:11:14I'm not a huge Neapolitan guy. No, I'm not either, and I understand. That's how it is. I've been to Italy.
JVL00:11:19Do they not have a Sparrow in Dallas?
Sonny00:11:22I assume there's a Sparrow. I assume there's a Sparrow somewhere, but they don't have a Sparrow in the mall near me. The mall near me is too fancy for a Sparrow. It's got a John Varvatos. Varvatos. Wow. Yeah. Psycho Bunny.
JVL00:11:37That's what we've got. Victorino, do you know where I got a pizza pie this weekend?
Vic00:11:40Which ... Oh. Yeah. In Belmore at ... What's it called?
JVL00:11:43Not Capoletti's. Federico's. Oh, yeah. That's right.
Vic00:11:47Federico's. Our place. Excellent. That's a great place. That is a really good place. You know what they got? They got great sandwiches there. They got a sandwich there. It's perfect because it's summertime, so it's nice and chill up in Belmore. As far as New York pizza like Grimaldi's goes, I think the common mistake outside of New York is the assumption that, "Oh, it's got to be salty," but it's not the saltiness. It's the sweetness that is always underestimated. The pizza's a really good pizza. Like when I go up to Jersey tomorrow, it's sweeter. The sauce is sweeter. It's not necessarily salty. The dough, it's a nice dough. It's not too thin. Like some of those Neapolitans, once you get to the middle section, it doesn't hold up. It's got a firmness to it, but also chewy, and it's just right. They did a test on this. I think it was in Chopped on Food Network, and Ted Allen did this whole thing with the different chefs. They said that what made the New York pizza's different, I think it was water. It's the water.
JVL00:12:47Your friend, Ted Allen? My good buddy, Ted Allen, who- New York pizza, New York pizza.
Sonny00:12:53New Jersey pizza tastes as good as any other pizza anywhere else. You're terrible. You're awful. You're just trolling. I'm sorry. I'm not trolling. Yes, you are. You're trolling by saying you're not trolling. I would say the bagels in New York, I would say, are legitimately better than bagels that I've had anywhere else. Yes, true. But the pizza's fine. It's just pizza. Everywhere has pizza that is as good as the pizza that's in New York and New York. New Jersey, literally every city. I could go to an Ohio backwater and find a pizza joint that's just as good as any New York pizza place. They're fine.
Vic00:13:33They're fine.
JVL00:13:34It's fine. That's Victorino.
Vic00:13:36Yes. This is what I say to that.
Sonny00:13:38That's right. Right there. They're making Italian gestures at me with their hands.
JVL00:13:44I'm going to give you a stink eye.
Sonny00:13:47I'm going to narrate what you're doing now. Now one of them is making a rope motion around his neck. He's pulling. I don't know what this means. I don't know what this means.
Vic00:13:55You know what? I'll tell you what was funny, right? Even growing up in Jersey, when Pizza Hut came to Tom's River, it was so exciting and we went there every Sunday after church for a while and I have to tell you, '80s, I don't know.
Sonny00:14:11There's still Pizza Huts around. You know why? Why? Because it's just as good as any other pizza in New Jersey. No, it's a different kind of pizza. It's different. No, no, no. It's just as good as anything else in the tri-state area.
Vic00:14:22Yeah. It's ridiculous. It's a different kind of pizza, the idea of pan. You could get thin crust, but obviously the real Pizza Hut lovers get the thick crust and it was so different. There's still Pizza Huts around, but I bet you if I went now, I would be so disappointed. They're all delivery. They're all delivery. Is that right? The whole pizza industry is delivery.
Sonny00:14:42Nobody eats in with the pitcher and the salad. Yes. Yeah. It's mostly delivery. We actually got Pizza Hut. We actually got Pizza Hut once after moving to Dallas and it was super disappointing. Oh, was it really? It was nothing like the Pizza Hut I remember growing up. Maybe I just have better taste now. I don't know.
Vic00:14:58It's hard to say.
Sonny00:14:59I don't know. That's what I was going to ask. Is it nostalgia?
JVL00:15:02Yeah. I thought it was good.
Sonny00:15:04I don't know. We got it. It was not. It was not good at all. Back to Piggy Pies after that.
Vic00:15:10Pizza Hut used to have a thing called ... They did a promotion called the Priazza. Not the Piazza, but the Priazza and I think Mental Floss or one of these other places did a history of the Priazza. Because it's a made-up word.
Sonny00:15:22What is a Priazza?
Vic00:15:24It's like their version of a Chicago deep dish with just another whole layer of cheese and dough on top. It's sort of a cross between a deep dish and a calzone. If you go, listeners, go to YouTube and type in Pizza Hut Priazza commercial, you'll see it. They tried to do a whole story where they served it in Italy and the Italians were like, "What? This is good." You have to see it. Because it's like the Folgers Crystals thing. They don't know this is from Pizza Hut. Check that out. JVL, or maybe even Sonny, but this is probably after Sonny's time. JVL, do you remember, and I think it was only in Alexandria, Generous George's? Oh yeah, Generous George's Positive Peace Pizza.
JVL00:16:09Which was... Off of Duke Street, I think. It's off of Duke Street and I have to say, kind of overrated.
Vic00:16:16Well, here's the thing. I was there. I went there, I remember, in the '90s. I'm sure you're more of a purist than I am, because for me, I'm just more of a glutton. And I would get the pizza with all the toppings. Because you could get a pizza and it'd be like 12 toppings on it. You know what?
JVL00:16:36That was a great place to take little kids. Yes. Like myself in the '90s. If you've got eight six-year-olds that you have to feed, like quasi-birthday parties, take them to Generous George's.
Vic00:16:48That's right.
JVL00:16:49Which I think has moved. Yeah. They built condos on the place where Generous George's was and moved it further away.
Vic00:16:52Every now and then I'll drive down Duke and I could say, and I'm like, "I swear I think it was around here or there," whatever it was. Yeah. It's before the Giant. The interesting thing is, I remember getting the pizza with all the toppings. And you know what it tastes like? Nothing. Yeah. Because it's like-
JVL00:17:09They all cancel each other out. They all cancel each other out.
Vic00:17:12And another great place in Georgetown that's gone was Geppetto's. And Geppetto's, they used to- That's gone? Oh, yeah. A long time ago. It used to be on M Street. Yeah. They had great buttery crust and the pepperoni they would stack.
JVL00:17:24I would eat at Geppetto's literally every time I came down for one of my campus visits while I was in middle school and then high school.
Vic00:17:31I'm sorry about that.
JVL00:17:33We would meet up with the tour group at White Gravenor and then I would ask them, I would say things like, "So would you rather I graduate first in my class from a school with a hundred kids or third in my class from a school with 250 kids?" Good question. Exactly. And they gave me the wrong answer as it turns out.
Sonny00:17:55Question. Yeah. Question. Would you go to Jumbo Slice and get Jumbo Slice pizza at Vic? At Adams Morgan? Vic and Mattis? Yeah. Because that's just as good as any other pizza anywhere else because it's all the same. You know what? Let's just-
Vic00:18:15You're drunk at night. You know what? Go enjoy-
Sonny00:18:18I will say that- Yes. In New York City, when I would visit my friend who went to Columbia, going to Coronet's Pizza was always fun because that's the place with the slice that's as big as two people's heads. And that was like Jumbo Slice Plus. That was good, solid, drunk food because you get it at 4:00 in the morning.
Vic00:18:41That's a good time. And that's the only time you should go there, by the way. But anyway, you enjoy your piggy pie.
Sonny00:18:47Is that it? Piggy pies. It's better than anything you can get in New Jersey. I'll tell you what.
Vic00:18:52I know. Can you just move on? Speaking of pigs, this week we're talking about Pig starring Nicolas Cage in theaters. In theaters. Only in theaters. It's part of our special Doubleheader episode. We'll get to the second part later. Sonny, how about a big boy review?
Sonny00:19:08So, Pig is probably the best movie that I've seen this year, the best new movie that I've seen this year, probably the best new movie that I've seen in a theater since I don't know, Tenet, the great Tenet. And I really, really love it. It's not the movie that I was expecting it to be. So the ads for this movie, the trailers and stuff have suggested that it is something like Taken but with a pig. So somebody breaks into Nicolas Cage's shack and beats him up and steals his pig and the rest of the movie. He's like, "Where's my pig? I want my pig back. Give me my pig." And he's like getting punched and stuff and you're like, "Whoa, this is going to be an action movie. This is going to be..."
Vic00:19:58How many people does he have to kill to get the pig?
Sonny00:20:01How many people are going to die so he can get this pig back? And instead it's a much more mellow film than this. It is a film that is about food. It's not really even about the pig. The pig is just a MacGuffin. It's a film that is about food and memory. The way that taking care to make something beautiful that will be consumed in three minutes after it is on your customer's plate and in front of them is worth doing and it's worth doing well. And it is about a sort of loneliness and excellence that comes with this sort of thing. And it is just really well done and mellow and beautiful. And I love it. Nick Cage is wonderful as so he plays this guy, Rob, who lives out in the woods of Portland. He is hunting for truffles, which he sells and trades for, you know, other food stuff so he can make so he can subsist essentially in the woods of outside of Portland on the slope of Mount Hood, I guess. And I like his pig is taken. His pig does get taken. It could be taken, but with a pig, but it is not that and he enlists the aid of a kind snotty yuppie type who was played by Alex Wolf in this was also an old which is in theaters this weekend or last weekend. And he was that he was the he was the son in hereditary, which is where most people who will know him will know him from and this this yuppie kid drives him around, takes him from restaurant to restaurant. And as he's going, we realize that this this hobo who lives in the woods is kind of a big deal. He's a former like top. Top of the line chef in Portland. He was like he has like he is essentially the Michelle Richard of Portland or the I don't know. Daniel Balloon, Daniel Blue of Portland, like everybody knows him. He's got acolytes all over the city. His sous chefs have gone on to open up their their own restaurants, et cetera, et cetera. So his name unlocks lots of doors. But it's it's it is a very interesting movie about the world and business of. Of of the fine dining restaurant, there are two two things and two scenes in particular that jump out that I want to talk about. The first is the kind of fight club scene where so there's a scene where he Rob needs a piece of information. He goes to this underground what is essentially what looks kind of like a fight club sort of thing. And he puts his name on the board. And the whole purpose of this this place is for for under like I don't. They're underlings, essentially, you know, waiters and and dish boys and stuff like that to just beat the shit out of the the chefs who come. It's it's about them taking out their frustration on the chefs and the chefs get paid for like however long they can. They can take it, which is like a very kind of interesting idea of the frustration that a lot of these people deal with working in the the restaurant industry, working under these people. The second scene I want to I just want to highlight briefly. Here is there's this really great moment where Rob and and his his minder friend go to a molecular gastronomy joint that is run by a sous chef that worked for Rob at one point. Finways. Finways. And and, you know, Nicolas Cage is eating the food. He's like, that's fine. I'd like to talk to the chef. And then the chef comes out and he's like, oh, my God, Rob, it's chef. It's been so long. How are you doing? What do you what do you make of all this? And he's like. This isn't what you wanted to do with your life. This is shit. This is like this is not this is perfectly fine, but it's not what you wanted. It's not the the experience you wanted to give people to to it's not the food experience that you wanted to present to them. And that is what the movie is really about. It's about it's about taking care to make something beautiful and thoughtful and lovely and bring people together and help them. And create memories that they will cherish for the rest of their life because the food itself is not the issue here. It's the memory that you take away. It's the it's the person that you're dining with. It's the ambience. It's the experience. It's all of that. I just I it's it and this is this and I mean, I'm talking about the the plot here. This is leaving aside all the formal qualities of film, which are exceptionally good. I mean, I like it. I this is a first. This is a first. This is a directorial debut from Michael Starnowski. And the movie is just naturally darkly lit. It's very it's very naturalistic. It's very kind of there. It's not flat like a lot of these movies can be. If you've watched a lot of Nicolas Cage movies over the last few years, and I have, I've watched a lot of them. These these are these are all essentially shot like TV shows, and this is shot like a film. And you can it's like the difference between watching the Whedon cut and the Zack Snyder cut. And then there's that YouTube of the scene in the kitchen where like, you can just look at the lighting and see how everything this movie is lit so well, it's lit so beautifully. And it is it's and it's a tight 90. That's the other great thing about it's 91 minutes. It's just like I cannot I cannot speak highly enough about it. People should go see it best movie in theaters for some time. Go see pig. Thank you.
Vic00:25:39I'm done. Thank you, Sonny. You know, it's funny. Out of curiosity, when I was streaming. Surfing, if you will, and I see, you know, Tenet was being advertised on one of the channels. Maybe it was HBO or whatever. So I decided for just, you know, watch first couple of minutes. It's a great opening scene in the theater, right there where the opera house right in Ukraine or in wherever they are. But after that, I don't know, it was I just I said, I just turned it off.
Sonny00:26:07Yeah, well, I mean, I like a tenant tenant. I watched it again and the sound I watched it again this weekend just because I wanted to throw in the 4K disc and check it out. And it really does. It's the best looking disc that I own by like Quentin or Quentin Christopher Nolan is not is not fucking around with the home video releases of these things. The whole sequence in the turns out in the turnstile after the first is still just incoherent. I can't I can't make I keep trying to watch it and eventually this will click. Yeah.
Vic00:26:44It doesn't. It doesn't. We'll get back to the movie which JVL did not see but JVL have you seen Tenet since or no? No.
JVL00:26:53At all. I just can't. You'll never watch. No. I will not watch the end. I try. I so I am very should I know so I knew the reason I did not see Pig was purely because I couldn't find it. But it was not anywhere near me down here in the excerpts. We don't we don't see fancy movies like that down the excerpts. It's not playing at the draft house. No. No. I was I was shocked. I was a shock to that as you are. Yeah. And I was deeply curious as to what you would think Vic because this is this is your thing. I know. This is foodie culture. We don't know.
Vic00:27:28You said it was I thought it was gonna be John Wick like Food Network John Wick. I was so moved by it as a result because I you know, you bring up that trailer. I'm expecting you know, and they have remember if you remember the trailer, there's a sudden burst of violence and Oh, what happened here? And so I was expecting the whole movie to be that and really it was just that one instance of them to those people taking taking the pig. And so after a while, I was like, Okay, well, where is this going? Because I really had nothing to base it on that I said, you know, and with Nicolas Cage has done so many different kinds of movies, you know, who knows what to expect? Maybe I'll take a really, really dark turn. And instead, I was so impressed by the pace is slow. I mean, you know, it's it's tough. It's tight, like you said, but it's very it's quiet, you know, contemplative. Yes, it's very nuanced and everything. But so I just watch it. There were not that many people in the theater. I saw it in Shirlington because it's not the kind of movie you would play at courthouse. But in Shirlington, which is a bit more artsy. But I have to tell you, I think everybody in the theater who was there really, really enjoyed it. And although I was quite puzzled because a parent took their kids to this movie, like I'm talking about like five and six year old type kids. I'm like, why would you even even I thought it was a sequel to they thought it was like, oh, you know, Nicolas Cage, you got to get a big action babe. And the language I've just felt that I felt bad for the kids. I said, this is not the kind of thing because it's it's not action or anything. So what I think I had a lot of thoughts about it. First of all, for just a quadrant score quadrant purpose. Yeah. It's the it's it's a solid a plot is an A plus with a nice little twist there at the end. Sad but poignant but but still good duration is they eat the pig.
JVL00:29:24Do they know what you're the big spoiler alert?
Vic00:29:27Do we say can wrap scallops or spoiler alert this sunny? Do we reveal?
Sonny00:29:31No, I think we're fine. If people are if people are watching or listening to this, they should either have seen it or be be understanding that there will be spoilers the the the young kid who has to.
Vic00:29:42Who is his purvey? The guy who buys the little snot that he was talking about, who buys the truffles. His father is played by the great Adam Arkin, Adam Arkin, who is a turns out to be his rival in the truffle selling business.
Sonny00:30:01Well, it seems to be the the food, the food procurement business writ large. I mean, he seems to be like in charge of everything. And that's and Darius is Adam Arkin's name. And and Amir is basically just getting truffles. That's like the only thing.
Vic00:30:16Right. Alex Wolf. That's right. That's he does that one thing. But the father does this and they have this antagonistic relationship. It's Adam Arkin who took the pig or had people take the pig. But what you don't find out to the end is that the pig died. He in transportation. But it's you find that out at the very end. But there's a lot more very sad. I hope they ate it.
Guest00:30:40I don't know what happened.
Vic00:30:41Waste no part of it. I'm a big knuckles, snout, snout to tail, as they say, snout to tail. Don't don't let anything go go to waste because the head of the you could turn that you could make head cheese and stuff like that ears pickle them in any event. So plot a plus duration, a plus violence action. I'll give it a C plus. That was a weird Fight Club sequence. It's not so much Fight Club study as let me just beat you up and there's a clock beat down. There's a beat up. And, you know, if you know, I didn't realize that that was the deal is that the person beat up as a chef and that it would be like your line cooks and busboys who are beating you up.
Sonny00:31:17That was that was my read on the scene because they don't they don't they don't sit there and spell it out for you. This is not a movie that is holding your hand as you go through it, which is which is why I'm a little surprised that it got it got an A.
Vic00:31:28It did. I did. Well, it's because it's still in my sort of realm of understanding of cooking and whatnot and truffles and the idea that you need a pig to find your truffles, except for as it turns out, he doesn't. That was just his pet. And Nicolas Cage was the one who is finding his own truffles. He's that good. I mean, and that's another revelation. The there are certain chefs that I think people would love to have on that in that situation. And one of them from from like what I've read, Joel Robuchon is one who is notorious. And if you read Eric repairs memoir, which is, I think, called Twenty Six Yolks, it's like the number of yokes needed to make a hollandaise sauce, I think. But anyway, in his memoir. He apprenticed under Joel Robuchon, who was and he was insane. So, you know, you have to put those little red dots. It's like from beats and you you for the decoration on a plate. And it was like a precise number and it was like two hundred something. And it had to be exactly spaced out, you know, like the same way for every time you ordered the dish. And then the other thing is, if a customer didn't finish the dish, he would take it out on his workers and saying that you somehow failed. Because because they didn't eat the whole thing. I mean, it was madness. And so in Eric prepares case, he started preparing dishes ahead of time and hiding them in different locations throughout the kitchen, like in refrigerators and closets. And it went on like this for a while until one day Robuchon happened to stumbles in a cupboard. He's like, what is this? And then, you know, all hell broke loose. So I could totally picture him being there. The idea, as Sonny was saying, of work. That's sort of devotion. And it's like monastic devotion. It's like Jiro from Jiro Dreams of Sushi, but also Andre Saltner from Lutece, who is famous in the 60s, 70s, 80s into the 90s. And he had one restaurant. So while his a lot of his contemporaries went on to build restaurant empires, he just decided he would work in the same place, you know, doing the same thing forever until he retired. And so I really appreciate it. That. But I thought he really did a well. And the big thing is for me is the Proust's Madeleine moment, right? You know, the Proust's Madeleine, you know, where Marcel Proust talks about having the the the Madeleine little biscuit cake in the tea, and it transported him back in time to when he was a little kid and his mother made it to him for him. And you see that in movies, right? Like the hundred Ratatouille. Ratatouille did that with Peter O'Toole as the rest. Exactly. The restaurant critic. If a journey does it. But this one was so much more evocative because it was Adam Arkin who Nicholas Cage makes is he remembers the dinner that Adam Arkin had with his wife at the time who before she went on life support and and it just and because ever since she had sort of basically died and gone into a vegetative state, he just became this really terrible person and it breaks him. When he when he eats because and Nicholas Cage says I remember every meal I made for every customer and he remembered exactly what he he had he and his wife had and I found
Sonny00:34:50that to be very powerful.
Vic00:34:52So I mean down to the bottle of wine down to the bottle of wine and it all comes together.
Sonny00:34:57So it's which is like which is a bit which is a bit much I think because I mean the chefs aren't you know bringing out the bottles of wine. How would he even know? How would you even know which?
Vic00:35:05Well, you have to see if it's Nicholas Cage is a chef. Here's the other thing. The thing with. It's fantastic because it reminded me and I probably I've mentioned this on a few occasions. The one time that I I went to 11 Madison Park with friends of ours who will remain nameless. I wasn't my idea to go there and that is it used to be run by Danny Meyer and it is an insane high-end restaurant enormous most expensive restaurant I've ever been to that I had to pay for and it was I know I was excessive. But it's this tasting menu and I don't mind tasting menus except for every dish had a story and it was just like this the the so the waitress in in pig the the server she's talking about the deconstructed scallops and it's like really and it's basically that you know they use like molecular gastronomy it comes in this little glass container with the smoke in it puffs of smell it's I mean it's just absolutely ridiculous and I remember being at 11 Madison Park and every. The meal goes on for 3 hours because of this making the steak tartare were but with carrot you know and and it's just enough already and when he when he asked the the chef when Nicholas Cage asked him do you remember what it is you want to do and he's like you wanted to open an English pub and then he knew he still remembers scotch eggs scotch eggs it was it was it was a great transformation so it's a great turn I really enjoyed it and the idea of. Chefs having a following is interesting I was quite puzzled Sonny when he first shows up and this other he meets the other chef he's looking for information and the other he tries to bring him food but he turns it away and you remember this and the other chef is like you're nothing now you used to be something here but now you're nothing it was I thought it was inordinately cruel but I don't know what the back story is of who that guy was.
Sonny00:37:03I mean I think it. I mean. I think it's trying to show that he by leaving his place of power and by kind of seeding it to these other people he is given he's given up in this person's eyes he has given up what made him great like he is not the guy who controls the most powerful restaurant in the city so he's nothing right right and what you see is that that's not the case because he goes to all of these other chefs and sous chefs and restaurateurs and they all adore him. They worship him and you know you you were the the guy that like made me what I am so
Vic00:37:44I think that's kind of what they're going so you know true story and this is very sad but in New Jersey up near us in Lakewood actually which is north of Tom's River there used to be a popular German restaurant called Winkleman's and it was run by this guy Mr. Winkleman and then very successful crowded every night you know they got the German accordion players they serve great food. Beer people loved it. And then he expanded and then he over expanded and dealt with him known as like the castle you know there was the glockenspiel and everything and you would have your problems there and everything else and he had a big family. But he but it was too much and then he went broke and then everybody turned their back including his family nobody helped him and then he had this big nerve like this big mental breakdown and then he just disappeared. And you know what happened they found he was living he was living in the woods. He was like a homeless person. And then sometime after that he came to work at some like restaurant where you know the manager initially didn't know who he was but she he's like you know I can cut meat I'm really good because he began his life as he started as a butcher and he was really good all of a sudden she realizes who he was. But that didn't last long and at some point in time he you know remained he never got crazy if that makes any sense he he just stayed that way and then he died but it happens you know.
JVL00:39:13Can I ask a philosophical question of you fellas? Is it really the food that makes the meal memorable? Does the food even matter? I mean the number so I am not into food in the way that you are Victorino. I've had a handful of what my mother-in-law refers to as memorable meals and in almost every case the food is beside the point. You know one of them one of them is the you know the first real date that Shannon and I went out to we went to Ristorante AV you know Ristorante AV I remember that it was great. Another one as they say another one was when we I think you were there for this Sonny went out for what was supposed to just be drinks with Andy Ferguson when Andy Ferguson was leaving the standard and we were at Morton's we were sitting out on the deck. And it was us and David Skinner and Lee Bockhorn. It was the summer before 9/11. It was it was the remember that was the night that Vicente Fox was in the states visiting the White House. And George W. Bush did the private fireworks when we were out on the deck. Yeah that's right. But it what it was just it was an amazing night and had nothing to do with the food like you know I think I had a burger you know like I.
Vic00:40:31For me I. How much does this how much does the food really matter? For me I love food. I'm a slow eater and I will you know savor every bite if it's really good. So like I had a great you know after I I did this piece on Michelle Richard but before the piece came out so he didn't know what it you know how it how it turned how it was going to turn out. But I took him up on it on invitation after I had written the piece to have dinner and it was just me and Kate and him at the chef's table at Citronelle. And he just brought out a bunch of different. I loved it because it's glass and I just wanted to make sure people saw that it was just you know like the three of us that I kept on going up to look is anyone looking I can't tell because it's so bright and he would just yell at the kitchen and tell him bring up some stuff and then and then and then he would like kill the lights for some special effect on the food. But Kate will remember he created and it's not it wasn't even on the menu he just was experimenting and he did a seafood bisque that was so incredible and was like a calamari stock it was something incredible it was so insane. And in and of itself it was one of the most amazing things I've ever tasted that and then he had short ribs which 72 hour short ribs so they're cooked at an extremely low temperature but as he explained it it's for the the fat to carefully melt over the span of three days and that was insane. So I loved his company I love everything about it because because he him being him he would say things like you know how you know he'd look at Kate and say okay I can I could see why you married her but why would she marry you you know and it was you know which I get a lot and then at some point you know with the tasting menu Kate couldn't she just couldn't take it anymore you know because you know it's like so much food and he goes no stop stop you don't take it away and then he starts yelling at the at the kitchen she hates it she hates it stop it and you know it was very funny so it's a combination of the memory of being with the two of them but also the food really was genuinely excellent it's like I whereas other memories you're right I agree I remember I remember going to windows on the world as a kid in the World Trade Center and I got a I got a James Beard omelet and I remember it was so rich I couldn't finish it and I thought there was a prune in it and I think it was basically a sun-dried tomato but to this day I'm not a fan of I'm not I'm not a fan of sun-dried tomatoes but that's a good question because a lot of it is you
Sonny00:43:04know I mean it's it's both it's both I mean it just depends it depends on I mean like I remember it like you know this this really amazing I was I was you know I I was I was literally standing and eating a McDonald's Big Extra that I had gotten right off the grill at the McDonald's when you were working there made it myself and ate it in like four bites just just ate it in four four huge bites and it was really one of them it brought to brought tears to my eyes as I was no no no no I mean like I I there there are definitely like moments there are moments in my my consumption history that like have have stuck with me and have like changed the way I think about certain foods I like the first time the first time I ever got a Cajun ribeye at Morton's yeah like back when back when we used the first time I ever had like a real steak at a real steakhouse essentially I was like oh yeah that's what that's what yeah a good it's all about that's what it's that's what everyone
JVL00:44:10has been spent the first time I had a real steak at a real steakhouse was at Morton's
Vic00:44:15with Vic yeah yeah I'd say probably the same for me you know and the funny thing is I was just at Morton's today with not my choice I was invited there but anyway but go ahead
Sonny00:44:27sorry or like or or like the the going away. The party for me at the sushi place in the Nakazawa Nakazawa and and just like having like legitimate top-tier sushi top-tier raw fish and like the way it kind of just like melts and whiskey and like and like Japanese whiskey and like that like again it's like a different it's it's a different it's a different sort of experience it kind of changes how you think but yeah most of my memories most of my great memories are like memories of being with friends and family and that sort of thing it's one of the great questions people
Vic00:45:09will ask like you know what are your great like like memorable meals right maybe like you were just saying about this JVL your mother-in-law says memorable meals and and you're right in in in in in a lot of other cases it's not about you know the tasting menu but rather my father-in-law says he remembers a mem a meal that stuck out for him was like you know after like three days marching in the jungle in Vietnam you know and and he says all these Marines had dug these holes and we're just like you know waiting out the rain because it was like the storm you know how it's like rains forever and even they were all there just you know in their little hovels and then they had these in the end he hadn't eaten for I don't know how long it was and then they finally got their rat you know their their MREs and and it was really good and I I can't match that in terms of yeah I mean
Sonny00:46:03when one thing I just one more thing JVL I mean I think part of the point of pig is that every every chefs should aspire to make every meal as if it is going to be a memorable experience you know like there there are right ways to do things and there are wrong ways to do things for instance there's just a there's like a short moment in pig where the mere the kid who's driving him around has made French toast and and Nick Cage is kind of eating he's like you should be using stale bread yeah for this just like kind of matter-of-factly
Vic00:46:32like you're not doing it like you did this is so great though because you just mentioned this and and as you begin you mean what you see is that how the look on Amir's face once he realizes that he is Rob Rob is actually Robin fell changes immediately anyway JVL I would say if you get a chance do do get a chance please watch pig is probably I'd
JVL00:46:59like to I might just yeah. Another thing but I mean one of my other memorable meals and the most expensive meal I've ever paid for was that lamer which is the. The big restaurant the hollow Kalani in in Waikiki and probably the most expensive restaurant on Waikiki Beach and I can I remember lots of little details about it I remember the way the air smelled that night I remember. I remember what my wife was wearing because we were on our honeymoon I remember the walk back I remember the the waiter like escorting her to the restroom when she went to the ladies room in the middle. I could not tell you a blessed thing about what we ate I remember we loved it right remember we thought this is amazing food we're so happy we came here this is delicious but all the stuff that I remember is totally ancillary to the food yeah that's how honeymoon honeymoon
Vic00:47:54food is that's an interest that's a whole other category I remember as well going to Tom's in the British Virgin Islands and having short ribs and you know what I remember besides the short ribs there was a band player for there was a band playing the Bob Marley song we waiting in vain I don't want to wait in vain for you when I said that's my song to you by the way because I had to wait forever for this anyway do get a chance to see pig it's the best performance that I've seen the Cajun in a long time it's right up there I think with I don't know raising Arizona. And what else sunny leaving us leaving Las Vegas they saw moon struck snake eyes oh hey
Sonny00:48:39speaking of which was it was very funny is very funny somebody so somebody in the comments I I should probably have looked this up for we started but somebody suggested wait are you doing snake eyes the 1998 movie the Brian De Palma because that's not the way JVL you
JVL00:48:53and I did see in the theater percent yes and I was I was like oh we should have done that
Sonny00:48:58we should have just had JVL stay at home and watch.
Vic00:49:01I would have been funny but JVL before we get into snake eyes which you saw today when we saw snake eyes together what were your expectations versus reality I I expected it
JVL00:49:14to be gone I really liked Brian De Palma and I expected gonzo crazy you know highly stylized
Vic00:49:22and it was it was fine I don't even remember what I had to do with in Vegas was like a boxing there was about Vegas Vegas.
JVL00:49:30Security and assassination oh there's also a twist in the and I I should look it up on
Vic00:49:37the Internet's maybe they have an answer now do you remember at the very end they're showing the credits do you remember this and like the camera pans to a wall and looks like there's like a ring stuck in the wall and it was supposed to mean something and I have no idea what that was all beyond me it's all beyond okay fine but sorry how was snake eyes snake eyes
JVL00:49:57so the snake eyes. Joe origins is a hard reboot of the stillborn GI Joe series so this is not a prequel I was going to say no this is a total reboot on the entire GI Joe universe so what you're saying is there's no Channing Tatum in this there's no Channing Tatum there's no Dwayne Johnson there's no Cobra Commander. And I think that's a shame. Because while the first GI Joe movie is ridiculous the second GI Joe movie is so crazy that it's great retaliation yeah GI Joe retaliation and in fact is a is the snake eyes and storm shadow movie that we have all wanted our entire lives. And this feels like it is as if somebody wanted to do Batman begins but for snake eyes except imagine imagine so we'll just say take something which is inherently cartoonish and make it much more realistic without being like a hard or anything you know there's lots of edge
Vic00:51:06weapon combat and there's no blood you know like the movie you just saw yes people will
JVL00:51:12be more stabbed constantly and shot constantly but nobody ever bleeds like like any good GI Joe right so that's so unsatisfied but go ahead but but here is here is the problem imagine the Christopher Nolan had had made Batman begins and it said. I want to do a more gritty more realistic kind of Batman movie except that Batman's alter ego was an accountant who lived in a suburban house and he he didn't really want to he wanted to help reform criminals instead of bringing to justice and he ultimately. Pushed the penguin to become the penguin because the penguin was a good guy. Oh, and he he corrupted what would you say is the the character of Snake Eyes in this movie is unrecognizable in any possible way from any of the canon. Now I understand this may not be important to people and that's fine, but so just as a brief bit of background Snake Eyes the thing about him which marks him from all their GI Joes is that a you cannot see his face and b he is mute.
Vic00:52:33That's right. Cannot speak. Yeah, that's right.
JVL00:52:36That's right. And see he is a ninja who who simply joins GI Joes after he is like left his ninja clan. But see when you learn his back story is very mysterious. But what you know of it is that he was part of a ninja clan in Japan and there was a thing at the ninja clan and the head of the clan. The guard master was murdered and everybody believed that it was Snake Eyes his best friend, a fellow named Storm Shadow, who did it. Storm Shadow fled. Snake Eyes left to go after him. Snake Eyes winds up living in the woods in in Washington state where the GI Joe forces find him and he becomes their first commando, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. In this movie, they do one very interesting thing, which is that Storm. Shadow is the good guy and Snake Eyes is the bad guy. However, uh, he speaks and talks the whole time. He's he's played by Henry Spalding, Golding, the guy, the guy who plays dry eye in The Gentleman and uh, and he talks and he's not a ninja and he has a beautiful face and he never covers it. I want him to play me in the movie, by the way, for the record. And what happens is that he is working with Cobra from the very beginning because he's on his own insane quest to wreak vengeance upon whoever killed his dad. He was never part of a ninja clan. He's just a street fighter who is, you know, winds up working for the Yakuza and is subcontracted out to the Baroness and Cobra. Uh, and so he, what he does is he, uh, he infiltrates storm shadows ninja clan who are the good ninjas who are trying to protect the world from Cobra and he is trying to steal from them.
Vic00:54:29Wait a minute.
JVL00:54:31And so snake eyes is the one who is quite an, and he sort of, you know, kind of half redeems himself in the end, although none of it is earned. And the whole thing is just insane from the point of view of the actual intellectual property. Yeah.
Vic00:54:44Just from the property. Wait a minute. So in the end, in the end, is there a twist where all of a sudden they reverse roles and then snake eyes is good and storm shadow becomes bad.
JVL00:54:52So storm shadow runs off and becomes bad in a twist, which is completely unearned. Yeah.
Sonny00:54:58And snake eyes. What happens? What, what, how, how does storm shadow become bad?
JVL00:55:03He is told that, uh, he cannot be the head of his clan anymore because he's done something unforgivable. The unforgivable thing he did was he used an, a weapon that is never supposed to be used to defend his grandmother, who was the head of the clan. And she says, you know, you should have let me die. We, we all pledge never to use the weapon. And he's like, that is bullshit. That is some bullshit. I was just trying to save your life. And she says, we honor.
Vic00:55:27Wait a minute. Hold on now.
JVL00:55:29Hey, good accent. By the way. Uh, what was the weapon? Uh, it's a, it's a stone that shoots fire with your mind.
Sonny00:55:36Why don't they use that? That sounds awesome.
JVL00:55:39It sounds like it's too dangerous.
Sonny00:55:40If you're a ninja clan with a mind fire stone, why aren't you using that all over the place?
Vic00:55:45That's like black magic. Stay away from that thing.
JVL00:55:47Because they're, they're good guys anyway. So, so they, the point is they don't kick storm shadow out. They say you can be part of the clan, you can be part of the hard master, you can be, part of the family, your family, you live here. You just can't be the leader of the clan. And this makes him go insane. And so he runs away and says, I'm going to join Cobra, who, which is the, the, the terrorist organization he has pledged his life to fighting against in the beginning, because again, he and his ninja clan are the good ninjas.
Sonny00:56:13Didn't Cobra try to kill his grandma?
JVL00:56:16Uh, they were, they were working through the Yakuza, the Cobra were working with the Yakuza. The other thing that's crazy about this, this movie is that Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes get, get beat up constantly. Like they're, they're like, there's this one Yakuza guy who doesn't look all that bad-ass, but every time he tangles with Storm Shadow, he just beats the crap out of Storm Shadow, which you're like, come on. I mean, he's Storm Shadow. He's just one. But the other thing is just as a matter of action set pieces, it's really poorly done because one of the things they do is they, Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes go to have a fight. They get surrounded by 20 guys with swords. They beat up all 20 guys. And by the fifth time this happens, when they get surrounded by 20 guys with swords and the, you know, Storm Shadow and they look at each other and go, huh, I don't think they brought enough guys. Do you think they're going to be able to handle them? Ha ha ha. You're like, of course you can handle them. You just, you've done this like 15 times in the movie already. Like what, why aren't you upping the stakes? Why didn't we start with them facing three guys? Right. And then the next time it's five guys. Then after that, 10 guys.
Sonny00:57:26But instead of one of them has a mind waterstone, everything you gotta, you gotta get the mind firestone.
JVL00:57:31At any time the snake eyes use an Uzi, uh, yes, he does use an Uzi and, uh, and there are gigantic 300 foot snakes who can read people's minds.
Vic00:57:47So this take place in like in modern time, like right now, right now, present day.
JVL00:57:52And so there is there, as I can say, it's, you can see. Like the, the, we're, we're going to be a, what if, what if G.I. Joe was real? You know, we can be gritty. The, the Batman begins of G.I. Joe, except at some point that we're doing these, we're doing these Ninja tests for, for snake eyes. And, uh, for the third test, what if we put them in a hole, you know, kind of like that Batman movie, but, uh, snakes going after snake eyes and now it's all clear and the, and the. Snakes can tell whether or not you're holding any secrets. What? They can smell your secrets. Oh, come on. And so snake eyes, this is how they discover the, in fact has been a double agent infiltrating the clan that was trying to take him in and make him into a good guy because the snakes, snakes knew it. They go down and they smell him. They, they.
Vic00:58:43Liar. They were speaking in parcel, parcel, it is parcel time.
JVL00:58:51It's parcel time. It's it's a crazy. It's such a crazy idea and they're hoping that this is the, the reboot, like they're
Vic00:59:00hoping they're going to have a sequel, right?
JVL00:59:01Right. So this is a, we're going to retry the GI Joe. Yeah. Okay. So the GI Joe cinematic universe didn't work out the way we wanted it to. So instead of just iterating on that, we're just going to start it all over and we're going to start it all over with a, the most beloved character in the, in, in the comic book intellectual property history, but we're just going to change everything about that character. Yeah. So that he's totally unrecognizable and we'll see how it works.
Vic00:59:28That's disappointing.
Sonny00:59:29You know, this is also kind of what happened with mortal combat.
JVL00:59:32Yes. I thought a lot about mortal combat, except that this is dumber.
Sonny00:59:36I like in mortal combat, it posits Scorpion as the hero and Sub-Zero as the villain. When in the, in the video games that was always reversed, it was like, you know, Scorpion was like the devil assassin who was trying to take out like the honorable Sub-Zero and
JVL00:59:50his family. I believe that Hasbro. Involvement in the mortal combat movies as well. I can effort that if you guys want to talk, but, uh, yeah, I thought a lot about mortal
Vic01:00:02combat actually, while I was actually, I was thinking about snake eyes and why he wore the mask and I wasn't it in the comic books that he was like, uh, his face got burned in a helicopter disfigured and he rescued, he was rescuing people, maybe, or some of the other people in Vietnam, because if it was the eighties, they had, they all had the Vietnam backstories, which now they'd be ancient. If they did that now, you can't do Vietnam because they'd be really, really old.
JVL01:00:30Right. But the only thing is the snake eyes is a guy of mystery. And what this, what this movie does is, is, is we're just gonna, we're just gonna explain every single thing about him so that there is literally nothing in his past that is hidden from the audience. Right.
Vic01:00:46Because, because in the past who play in the movies, right. Uh, who played snake eyes? Ray Park. Yeah, that's right. That's right.
Sonny01:00:54Okay. Question. Question. Uh, in I, I'm pretty sure in one of the trailers, I saw that the snake eyes costume had like lips on the mask. Uh, he doesn't put it on the final movie, so he only puts the mask on literally.
JVL01:01:08That's the last scene in the movie when he's like, I'm gonna go and find my friend, Tommy, meaning storm shadow. And they say, well, we have something that might help you. And so they give him the snake eyes, get a black costume. So he gets a black, I don't know how that's gonna help him find Tommy, but, uh, no, look, if you go back to retaliation, yes, it's a stupid movie, but the set piece inside the cryogenic jail where storm shadow gets loose is fucking fantastic. That is as good an action set piece as you will find anywhere. You have Walton Goggins sort of hamming it up and immediate, as soon as, as soon as Walt Goggins walks on screen, you're like, oh, this boy's gonna get killed. Right? He's so evil. He's so evil and smarmy and, uh, and everything, everything about that set piece is fantastic. Right? And when storm shadow comes out, he's the baddest, badass who ever lived, uh, and this movie has nothing like that. Even the, again, even while purporting to be a realer and more gritty version of the, even the combat portions of it, right. There's just nothing interesting in it.
Vic01:02:22I would say. Especially in comparison JVL to that other movie that you, you love that I still haven't gotten to see, which was the, the Wolverine, right. The one that, the one that takes place in Japan. Yeah. Oh, is that called the Wolverine? Or is that Logan?
JVL01:02:34The Wolverine. Yeah. This is, you know, that's actually the other movie I thought about was, was this, and I would say this is the Wolverine X-Men origins version of snake eyes. Right. You remember that? I mean, they did a, a Wolverine X-Men origins that eventually was just read out of the cannon. Totally. 100%. I think, I, I suspect that this will be just disappeared if they decide to do more GI Joe, uh, this will have, have to be just forgotten and put away.
Sonny01:03:03One thing they could do is just not make any more GI Joe movies, because these movies do not make money. Well, I was going to ask what are the numbers right now? Disaster. It's, it, it made like $4 million, uh, globally, it made like 8 million or made, I want to say the opening weekend in the United States was like 13 million and the global number was like 8 million or something. It was like, it just is just one of the most disastrous openings of recent memory.
JVL01:03:27Okay. Well, it's a movie with no stars with a character, which, which has a very limited fan base, uh, where there is no story being sold with it. Right. It's not like people understand what it's, it's just like snake eyes. If you liked, if you liked the silent issue of GI Joe, number 19, 21, whatever it was, this is the movie for you.
Sonny01:03:52I can't, I can't, I can't.
JVL01:03:54He's talking. That's the whole idea about snake eyes is the mystery, right?
Vic01:03:57He's the man with no name. Just yeah. Completely changed the entire thing. And that's the whole point. Okay. Thank you. JVL. Uh, do we have any other thoughts on anything else? We're good. Nope. Okay. Uh, not spirit of the week, uh, corrections, shout outs, anything. Everybody's good. Wonderful.
JVL01:04:17Yeah. I think all of our, you know, what's funny is actually there's SSEU folks are having a, a little zoom party right now. Oh my gosh. So Shannon was upstairs. I said hello to Ming and Haber bro and uh, I think Laura was there and maybe Ryan. And anyway, so I was like, Hey guys, I gotta go down and tape a show. Wow. So they, they send their best to you guys. Wonderful. Send it back.
Sonny01:04:40That's good. That's good. Thank you. I feel bad. I snapped at Ryan on Twitter the other day cause he was giving me, he was giving me shit about, I actually felt really bad. I like sent him an email and apologize, but I just like he, I had like tweeted out. I tweeted out a video and he was like, that guy sucks. He, he told jokes about lockdowns that weren't funny and I was like, I don't stop being joke police. No fun. Uh, I literally, but I literally sent him an email. I was like, I'm sorry man. I like, I've been a long day. So Ryan, shout out to you, my friends, uh, didn't mean to be a dick on Twitter.
Vic01:05:10I love Ryan. Oh, do we have to do a, we have to do a correction because, uh, uh, uh, you, you mentioned flag went to Swarthmore. I think it was slippery rock. That's where he went to college. Yeah. Slippery. Did he do time at beaver? I think you have beaver that. Yeah. I got my, I got, that's where I got my masters. Okay. Uh, that's all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, compliments, tweet us at Sonny Bunch at Victorino Mattis again, be sure to subscribe to us on Patrion. Just go to sub beacon.com. We are there. Tell your friends until next time.
JVL01:05:51So anything I have been holding off on Ted lasso. Oh, me too. I want to, I want to binge the whole thing.
Sonny01:06:02Okay. No, don't do that. What?
Vic01:06:05Like what were you parsing?
Sonny01:06:06Watch it. We get a time. It's better. It's better for the ratings. It's better for the ratings. You know, Kate and I are, you don't want, you don't want Apple to think that nobody's watching it.
JVL01:06:15Do you? I think it's the biggest hit that Apple has ever had.
Sonny01:06:19Yeah. Yeah. Apple says that's the most stream thing that they've ever had, but nobody knows what that means. It doesn't, it doesn't mean anything. It could be like 500,000 people.
JVL01:06:27Look, Ted lasso is in the cultural bloodstream. No, no, no, no, no, anything other than stranger things.
Sonny01:06:35Do not, do not make this mistake because this is the, this is the mad men dominating the conversation on slate and the New York times and salon problem.
JVL01:06:45That show never had more than a million of original streaming content in the category of original streaming content. That that is what I, I am not saying that it is doing better numbers than CSI, uh, Tokyo drift.
Sonny01:07:00How I met your mother. We don't even know. We don't even know how many, we don't even know how many people have signed up for apples. I mean, this is like, I, I, again, I like, I agree that it is great and I'm glad that lots of people are watching it and tweeting out gifts from Ted lasso. That that's wonderful. But uh, I do think that the numbers are, the numbers are totally opaque and I would guess that they are not particularly. Hi. Just an in absolute terms, I would bet fewer people are watching, uh, Ted lasso than watch Madman and, and nobody watched Madman that, that show was watched by like 2.5 million people at its peak.
JVL01:07:32Yeah. Fair. But, but again, I'm talking cultural footprint and I think this is a bigger cultural footprint than any other original streaming series, uh, probably since stranger things now.
Sonny01:07:49I don't know. I mean, certainly in our corner of the world, probably yes, but like, I think like Bridgerton was a very, very big hit with, with women, folk, Oh, girls, not that we would know anything about that. I don't like, uh, lady ladies with their lady parts, how would that, how does Bridgerton
Vic01:08:09on the quadrants? That's what I want to know.
Sonny01:08:12I think, I think you would be happy with the quadrant performance, but it's too long though. It's like, it's like 10 hours long.
Vic01:08:17As long as the Oswald would say, just give me other quadrants. I just want to get to the meat and potatoes.
Sonny01:08:23I'm sure it's fun.
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