#1. The Last of the Sub-Beacons
Listen to this episode ↗on Substack, where the show lives now
A farewell episode marking the end of the free, Free Beacon–hosted show and the move to the Patreon-exclusive subbeacon.com, which JVL hammers relentlessly throughout ("go to subbeacon.com," all one word, no hyphen). There's no main film to review, so Vic, Sonny, and JVL instead trade pandemic check-ins: Vic has been drinking with his fellow Knights of Columbus, grinding through a decade-old Will Shortz crossword book, and catching up on Succession (loves it) and The Crown (loves it, minus Gillian Anderson's Thatcher, which Sonny pans as "total TV actress"); Sonny gushes about returning to gaming with Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War and its "war crimes for Reagan"; and JVL reports on son "Flash" joining a serious pitching academy while teasing a mysterious "lifestyle decision" (no more pants). JVL then delivers a deep-cut review of the live-action Space Battleship Yamato (Star Blazers), delighting in the CGI wave-motion gun and its odd gender-swapped, non-canon casting. The hosts close with a nostalgic look back at the old show's greatest hits — the candy draft, Sonny's King-size power pick, JVL trolling Sonny over Scorsese, and Sonny falling off his chair — before sending it out with an original song by their buddy Scotty Rock.
From the show notes
For archival purposes, here's the final episode of the show.
Full transcript
Guest00:00:00It's over, Johnny. It's over! Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don't turn it off!
Vic00:00:08Hello and welcome to another edition of The Sub-Beacon. I'm Victor Matus along with Sonny Bunch and Jonathan V. Last. Just a reminder, The Sub-Beacon was available on iTunes, Google Play, and Stitcher. You could have looked on a podcast and search for Sub-Beacon. You would have easily found us. You should have subscribed, told your friends, and left a review. What? So much past tense. Gentlemen, how are we? How was your fall? I don't know where we go from here. Do we cut to the chase? What do we do? When do you want to take it from here? When was the last time we talked? September. September, like mid-September. After Tenet. Tenet was the last episode. Okay, so it's been two months. It's been two months. I don't know. I feel like I'm sort of off my game here. I was thinking about the last episode. Do you remember the last episode? You wouldn't remember. This is before your time, Sonny. The last episode of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. And the last episode was him actually just sitting on a bar stool on the stage and a stool on the stage and chatting with the audience and reminiscing about the good old days and old episodes. I don't know if they turned completely into a clip show, but it kind of was. And it was like the greatest episode of the last episodes was the penultimate one where they had like Bette Midler singing to him and he had Mel Brooks on. He had the original guests that were on the first show were back for the last second to last show was like Mel Brooks. And Tony Bennett.
Sonny00:01:57See, I always thought that was the last show because I did not watch them in real time. I always thought that that that show with Bette Midler singing to him was actually the the final show. That was not the final show. There was no, there was one where he just sat there very
Vic00:02:11casually and just chatted with, you know, the audience and look back on on his career. And I feel like that that's this show. So, you know, kind of a letdown is what I'm saying. Wow. Yeah, I don't know. Okay, so Sonny. You were gonna say something.
Sonny00:02:28I don't I don't have I was I was just last time we talked to us. That's all that's all I wanted
Vic00:02:32to know. And then you want to think about Johnny Carson and I did waxing stout nostalgically.
Sonny00:02:39JVL, who is John? We I'm sorry, can you actually explain to me who Johnny Carson is? Because I'm
Vic00:02:44yeah, he was on it. He was on television, but I'm like regular, regular mainstream, like on a
Sonny00:02:49network. He was on like NBC. And then last time you ever watched Channel Four. He was a peacock. Is that like Netflix? I don't know what that is.
Vic00:02:58What is Channel Four in Dallas? What is NBC in Dallas? Is it four?
Sonny00:03:01No, no idea. I have no idea what the actual networks are here. So we actually have. So we have cable. We have spectrum cable here and it's fine. It works. Oh, yes. But like, but the but like the actual cable channels, I mean, like we have a cable package, except it runs through our Internet and it sucks as a result. It's not like it's not like the cable box, you know, it runs through our Apple TV and it sucks amazingly badly. So the only time I ever really watch it is when
JVL00:03:32there's something on live. Can we not do consumer complaints that I want to watch? So these cable.
Sonny00:03:39Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize we had better things to talk about here, please.
JVL00:03:43Could we just start by telling people to stop what they're doing right now? Pause the show and go to subbeacon.com. Just go to subbeacon.com. Just go to subbeacon.com because the show is moving. All one word. All one word. The show is moving. It's moving to subbeacon.com. This is the only important piece of information. We'll do an actual show for you later, but, uh, we are leaving the warm embrace of the Washington free beacon with gratitude for all they have done for us. And we are going to Patrion where you can pay as little money as you want. Uh, you can, you can do a hundred bucks, a hundred bucks. You could do $5 a month. You can do $1 a month. If you listen to this show and you are say a priest or a student or somebody who has lost their job due to COVID, you don't have to pay anything. All you have to do is email me or Vic or Sonny, and we will comp you. So there is no reason email,
Sonny00:04:46email, email JBL email me. If you email me with your handout, I'm going to ask questions.
JVL00:04:55Who's listening to the show who would like to continue listening to the show can do it for free if they want to. Can I just say something for our priest friends,
Vic00:05:03for our friends who are in the clergy, I would say, uh, what you can also, yeah, plenary. You can also say, you know, in the announcement section of your mass, which usually should come after the communion and you tell them, uh, this week's poor box collection is for a subscription to the sub beacon. That works for me. That's all they know.
JVL00:05:25Or that. So we'll do this again. Sub beacon.com. It couldn't be easier, right?
Sonny00:05:31S U B B E A C O N dot C O M. Sub beacon.com. Just go there. No hyphen. No hyphen.
JVL00:05:41And as Sonny and I were trying, as Sonny and I were trying to set up the stupid thing, I thought it'd be funny to have different membership tiers. And so there was a Vic tier and a Sonny tier and a JBL tier, but all of that is in a elaborate gag. There are no different tiers. You can still get dishwasher advice, no matter how much or little you give to us. So just come and throw us a few bucks.
Sonny00:06:04I do think we should have one tier, which is that if you pay us $10 a month, instead of the $5 a month, we read ads to you. We actually do the ad reads. I think that's actually a thing we should
JVL00:06:19do to people on the phone. I can read your voicemail and my voice.
Vic00:06:25I can do a voicemail recording for a certain price. As Gene. Oh, yeah. No, that's if you do the lifetime subscription, which is a one-time subscription.
Sonny00:06:35It's $1,000.
Vic00:06:36It's $10,000 for one time, but you get all the benefits. It's like Cameo,
JVL00:06:43but with Vic doing Gene Shalit. So it's a million times worse than Cameo. It's actually a million
Sonny00:06:50times worse than Cameo, but we'll do it for you for any amount of money.
Vic00:06:55For the celebs. Okay, yes.
JVL00:06:57Come and follow us over to the new home. Please don't get freaked out by the fact that it's on Patreon and that there's money involved. There's no money involved. I really will comp everybody if I have to do that, and then I'll just pay Vic out of my own pocket.
Sonny00:07:10JVL will walk you through the process of getting it from Patreon to your podcast app, right? Is that right, JVL? You'll do that?
JVL00:07:20I'm going to post a blog post about this on the Patreon because the Patreon is also going to function as essentially it's the community site people have always wanted to have from us where we can put show notes and
Vic00:07:30stuff like that. Can they talk to each other on it? I guess if they exchange comments.
JVL00:07:33Can they? Can they? Say their names, Vic. You mean our people? Can our people all have a community and talk to each other? Yes.
Sonny00:07:41Yes, they can. Can we call the community area galley slaves? Wow. I guess. Maybe. I don't know. Do people even understand what galley slaves is?
JVL00:07:51One or two people. I'd say one or two people. Robert Little does. Wow. Robert Little gets that. I bet anything Robert Little remembers the galley slave stuff. So come with us to Sub-Beacon, guys. It's going to be great. Vic, how was your weekend?
Sonny00:08:07Wait, doesn't that mean the show's not dead?
JVL00:08:10Yes. It means the show is not dead. You and I made this happen, Victorino. There was an actual petition, a change.org position. I think it had to be presented to
Vic00:08:20the White House. It was very sad. It was very sad. It didn't get enough signatures, Frank.
Sonny00:08:25Frankly, I thought we'd shut everything down, but you guys were like, "Ah, we'll do it."
Vic00:08:33That tells me that's about how many people listen to the show. 300. But thank you. I'm doing fine. I'm doing fine. I literally have not spoken to you in forever, Vic. That's true. I don't know where to begin. We thought it might be funny for the first part of this very unorthodox, unusual final episode of the Sub-Beacon, as it is right now, is to discuss just what we've been doing during this pandemic shutdown for the last month. Really, for the last two, it was since September. So we could do that.
JVL00:09:06I was saving American democracy. What did you do, Vic?
Vic00:09:09The same, but from the other direction. Sorry.
Sonny00:09:13I was committing war crimes for Reagan on the video game, on Call of Duty. It was great.
Vic00:09:25So how did I spend the lockdown? And I'll have to say that I spent the lockdown. You actually have a thing written down here. As I do every show, which is why I can't do this anymore.
Sonny00:09:34It makes me angry because I haven't prepared for this at all. And you're gonna make me-
Vic00:09:37I went out to... So what did I do during the pandemic and the shutdown? I went out to restaurants and I went drinking with friends a lot. That's what I did.
Sonny00:09:47So no difference.
Vic00:09:48So no difference, really. I hung out with my fellow knights at the Knights of Columbus and drink with them. I am a fourth degree knight now. What did you have to do to progress from third degree to fourth degree? I can't tell you. That's a secret. Was it an elephant walk? No, it does not. Nothing like that. It's
Sonny00:10:06not a fraternity. Is it like the Simpsons episode with the stone cutters? Did you have to drag the stone of achievement?
Vic00:10:12There is something. There is something involved, but-
JVL00:10:15Isn't it literally a fraternity, Victorino? Yeah, but not like that. Not like that. I do- It's only in the seminaries.
Vic00:10:24Oh, my gosh. Look at that. You know what? This is why I don't want to do this. I'm sorry. I've read the McCarrick report. Yeah, that's terrible. That's terrible.
Sonny00:10:32All the briefs right now are canceling their Sub-Beacon.
Vic00:10:35It was just cuddling, right? It was just cuddling. Okay, that's fine. That's what the report said. It was just, so you just slept together? Okay. Other than that, I'll tell you what I've been working on when I'm not working is I have Will Shortz's A Year in Crosswords, and I have been wondering – so it's 365, and I wonder what will happen first, that we get through this pandemic or I finish the book first, because I'm pretty good at those crosswords.
Sonny00:11:04So you've been just one, just one of the crosswords.
Vic00:11:08The whole book, I am crushing it, except it goes easy, medium, and hard, and sometimes the hard I can take maybe a week because I'll go away from it, I'll come back, and it's amazing how you think I have no answers to this clue, and then boom, it just comes to you like an epiphany. The only problem is the book, which I got from Amazon, is a collection of 365 crosswords from the year 2010, so the clues are like AOL competitor. – Prodigy, Yahoo, Earthlings, Yahoo. – One of the answers was Netcom. There's another one about doing business online, and it was like e-tail, e-tail. And then, oh, here's one, Sporty Spice's nickname. – Wait, so was this… – Sporty Spice's. Sporty Spice. Remember her.
JVL00:11:58– Was this a remaindered book that you found somewhere, or was this a re-gift that somebody finally… – No, no, no. I ordered it on Amazon. I ordered it on Amazon.
Vic00:12:07– And you ordered the 2010 on purpose? – It was the most recent one that I could find.
JVL00:12:12– Okay. So, let me get this straight. You're doing a 10-year-old crossword book and hanging out at the Knights of Columbus Lodge. – Hold on, I got more. I got more. – So, what you're telling me is that you turned 75 during the pandemic.
Vic00:12:24– Oh, oh, it's so crazy because sometimes on a Sunday morning, I'm sitting there, we're having, or Saturday, having coffee, and the kids are doing their own thing, so it's just me and Kate, and then she's reading the paper, talking to me about stuff, and I'm looking at the crossword with my coffee, just reading it quietly, and then I'll look up and I'll ask her about a clue, and then see what she says. And I said, "This is what it's going to be like in less than, it's now. I thought it was going to be in 20 years, but it's happening now." And that's really, the conversation is looking at the crossword and talking like this. What do you think is the answer to this? And of course, oh, one of the clues, here's something I haven't heard in a while regarding the internet, DSL. Remember DSL? Not the other DSL. – What? – You mean the internet DSL? – You can ask Mike, and he knows what that stands for. Okay. And then Sonny's thinking his head, it's right under the bus. So anyways, it's the kids. It's after our time. It's after our time. And okay, and watching, watching, I finally finished, I caught up to Succession on HBO. Sonny, did you watch Succession?
Sonny00:13:44– So Succession is a show that my wife and I tried to watch. I really want to get into it because I love the gifs of it that I see on the internet. I love the gifs and the gifs are the key. It's the soul of a series. If you are a series and you have good gifs, then you'll be something that's worth watching, I think. But I have not been able to watch it because I watched the first episode with my lovely wife, Beth, and she was not into it. And frankly, I wasn't that into the first episode either, but I was like willing to keep going with it. And she was not. So like the problem is I cannot watch. I cannot commit to watching an entire season of television without buy-in from my partner. Um, it just doesn't, that just doesn't work for us time-wise.
Vic00:14:35I convinced Kate to actually, we got through. And by the time you hit the second season, you just could not wait to see what was going to happen regarding, you know, the Brian Cox plays the Murdochian character. It's only two seasons and I think it's seven episodes a season, but, uh, Brian Cox is sort of the Murdochian character and he has to select sort of an air because, you know, he thinks he's got to go, but wait a minute, maybe he's not going to go. And it's Shakespearean in May. I mean, you know, children, siblings, siblings, siblings who mostly hate each other. Sometimes they don't. It's amazing to see a world where. I mean, you know, the, they have where it's like real, like it's not celebrity rich money. It's actual billion, billions and billions, you know, level of, of, of wealth. And yet I don't they really ever really happy? No, not really. You know, I mean, it's amazing. Here we are, look at me with my little den here and clearly happier than those characters, but it is great to see. Um, Kate's complaint in the first season was, it was hard for her to find somebody that was sympathetic except for cousin Greg, uh, who is sort of us, like the outsider looking in.
Sonny00:15:42Oh, but, but see, he was the worst character from the first episode. The fuck the dork who like wait, doesn't have any idea what he's doing.
Vic00:15:49You wait, he comes to, he is a big role later on anyway. It's great. Brian Cox is in it. And of course his, uh, his brother who he is does not, not in speaking terms is James Cromwell. Also great. Both, you know, and, and two very stubborn Scottish brothers. And, uh, uh, so I've been watching that and now of course the crown is back and I'm watching the crown and I think it's wonderful. Charles dance plays, uh, Lord Mount Batten, uh, uncle Dickie, and he's fantastic, but really this is the season that involves a princess Diana. And what is the crown? I hear people talking about the show all the time. Queen Elizabeth is just the story of, uh, beginning with queen Elizabeth in 1947. And now we're in the, uh, late seventies. So it's, I won't give away what happened. It's
Sonny00:16:43early eighties. Now we're early eighties and the idea of the actress. Yeah. So Julian Anderson
Vic00:16:52plays mag Margaret. Thatcher and, uh, um, from X miles. Yes. She sounds just like Thatcher, but the mouth thing is weird. I, I like you're watching it, Sonny. You're watching it. Yeah.
Sonny00:17:05Yeah, I know. I've watched the first half of the most recent season I've watched. I'm not even, I am. I think she's, I think Gillian Anderson is terrible. Really? Did you like total TV actress, total TV actress? Just like, wow. Just doing it. I was getting a little nervous, but I'm
Vic00:17:23giving her a pass. I'm giving her a pass. I was like, I think Prince Charles is great. He's probably he's boy. He's more sympathetic. I think the real Charles,
Sonny00:17:31he's way more sympathetic than the real Charles, but of course, but of course, uh,
Vic00:17:37the princess Diana, she's lovely. Yeah. Anthony Edwards. What Anthony? I do. Have you guys never
Sonny00:17:44seen the SNL skit where Anthony Edwards is playing a princess die? It's fantastic. You should really, that's all I can think of whenever I see her on, on the crown is, oh, that's Anthony
Vic00:17:53Edwards. This actress, uh, much more, I find attractive up my alley than the real princess Diana anyway. So she was 18. I didn't know this. She really was 18 when she was young. She was young. Yeah. I don't know how many, I forget how many years apart they were full. Yes. I'm just saying Vic's very into it. So if I were the Prince of Wales, I cannot have anyone, anyone, anyone. Why Camilla? I don't know that you're so
JVL00:18:23soulmate. Really? Okay. What was that? What's the age of consent in the UK? Why settle for something old and haggard, like 18 Prima Nocte. No, but you know, it's, uh, it's
Vic00:18:35amazing. And it's true in real life that he preferred Camilla over Diana. And it's like, really? Okay. I've said my piece. Uh, and that's, that's what I've been, that's been, well, that's what I've been doing. I've been, uh, playing the pit much. Do you know? I'm just saying, but I'm not working a lot of TV. No, no, no. But this is over the last, what I've only two episodes into the crown. So that's only two episodes into the crown. It's been two months JBL. It's not like
Sonny00:19:03we're going to the movies too much grief. I'm trying to remember what happened over the last
JVL00:19:10two months. Was it a, was it a, was it a heavy news environment or were things just sort of moving slowly? I feel like there was a lot of that's you and I work in the same office, Sonny. I feel like we had a lot that we were doing. Well, technically
Vic00:19:23I work in Texas. Yeah, we have, we have a lot of, we have, we have a lot of young writers who work very hard. Uh, and, uh, and succession has been around for a couple of,
Sonny00:19:33for many years now. So let's be honest, Stephanie Wang does most of the editing.
Vic00:19:38She's she's great. And, uh, so that was it. And I've been picking up the running. Uh, I do, uh, about three times a week, I'm running between five and five and a half miles. But I, the pains are much more pronounced now, like the shins, the whole thing. That's I'm feeling that. And, uh, should splits are the worst. I guess that's what it is. Um, and amazingly, I'm not losing any weight because I have not curtailed diet. So it's keeping me in balance. I would say between that and the nights on weekends and, uh, and yeah, that's where I am. I am. I'm working on Moonlight Sonata. So there you go. JBL your gout. Fine. I think it's the running. Have you had any flare ups? None, none and none. And I had, you know, on my anniversary, I had oysters and lobster and champagne and no gout. So there you go. Did you have a, a cherry? What did Kate have? Drink. Oh, she had a, she had a piece of meat. She had a piece of meat. It was a filet mignon. It was a filet mignon. It was lovely. It was lovely. Mario, speaking of which I've been doing a lot of cooking and I made my own Caesar salad. The other day, including my own Caesar dressing, but I had swimmers and I thought of you because of a person we know I had the swimmers out of the Chento can. Don't get them out of the jar, get the can like a tin. They were delicious, but chances he is still alive. Oh man, you're terrible. And the, the dressing I made, uh, the only thing I, it was missing some creaminess and I was trying to figure out how to make the dressing more creamy and I figured out egg yolk. Thank you. I, I, this, the Caesar just was just for me and Kate. And she said, this tastes like she said, this tastes like nothing I've ever had. Okay. So anyway, I'm done. I'm I told you I'm done. This is it. This is what you get. So what'd you get?
JVL00:21:49What have you guys been? Did you have a Caesar on your anniversary night?
Sonny00:21:53I have been, I've been doing a bunch of stuff, um, mostly involving watching movies and reading books for my newsletter as culture editor at the bulwark.com. People should go to our sub stack, uh, and, and read us, read us there. But I'm, uh, I'm, I'm very excited because this week I, I, for the first time in literally through almost literally, not quite literally like two months shy of literally, but for the first time in literally three years, I picked up a video game and I, I played a video game guys, and I played the new call of duty and let me tell you, it was, it was everything I hoped it could be. It was so it's call of duty, uh, black ops cold war. It's a call of duty, colon black ops, colon cold war. And this is mostly a multiplayer game. People get this to play it online with their
Vic00:22:47friends or with random people. I don't like, I don't do that. I think it's great. I
Sonny00:22:52don't play with weird. I think it's dangerous internet people. I don't play with weird internet people. I don't play with Jim Swift. I appreciate Jim Swift's efforts to inculcate me into the cult of, of call of duty online. I don't do any of that. I just want to play the five hour campaign mode, the single player. That's all I want to do. And you know why I want to do it. I want to do it because the way that this was, uh, pitched to me by liberal, uh, progressive, um, narrow dwells, as was, this is call of duty, let you do war crimes for Reagan. And I was like, yes, I want to commit war crimes for the Gipper. I want to get in there and I want to, I want to throw some Iranian hostage takers off of roofs. And I did that and it was great. Wow. Uh, I want to, I want to have flashback episodes to, uh, uh, Vietnam in 1968. And I want to, I want to take my mini gun and I want to rake it through the village mini gun. I can, I can do that. I, it's fantastic. You must have huge arms. I see the body. It's on a helicopter. You pilot a helicopter. I was thinking like Jesse. No, it's not Jesse Ventura. It's not Jesse Ventura style. Um, I want to, I want to be able to go to the Soviet union. I want to be able to go to the Ukraine and I want to infiltrate a Soviet training ground and I want to do battle in a mock-up, uh, American city and wipe out all of the Russians who are there trying to train to take over America. It the whole thing was great. Let me tell you the whole thing. It was like, it was like, you know,
Vic00:24:26the show, the Americans, they went to Nicaragua, the, the, the one with the Nicaraguans training.
Sonny00:24:32It's kind of like that. It's kind of like that, except you get to play Americans instead of
Vic00:24:37Russians. It's great. That's it. That's the Mary. And I'm plus you're taking your orders
Sonny00:24:41from Ronald Reagan and not Kevin space. Ronald Reagan himself comes into, into the briefing room and he's like, we have to do this for America. We got to, I can't really do a Ronald Reagan accent. I would, if I could, I can't, I'm not a Ronald Reagan impressionist. Uh, but it's like, you know, you know what it is. It's like the, I'll bring it back. I'll bring it back to SNL. You remember the SNL skit where, uh, they, they pretended that Ronald Reagan was like, yeah, for Phil Hartman is like on top of all of the nitty gritty of Iran Contra, right? That's exactly what it's like. And that's, that's what I'd like to imagine. Reagan was actually like, that he was on top of all of the war crimes that he was actually, uh, directing them and having the people do them in his name. Al Haig is in this and Al Haig is like, Al Haig is like, Mr. President, I don't think we should do this. I think it's what if the media finds out and, and Ronald Reagan is like, get the fuck out, Al Haig, get the fuck out of here. We're going to do these war crimes. It's amazing. So anyway, I love the voice of reason, huh? I had, well, he was the voice of cowardice. He was the voice of reason was Ronald Reagan. Never forget the voice of reason was Ronald Reagan. I had a great time playing, uh, this video game and that's how
Vic00:25:59I've spent the last two months. Well, do you remember, uh, the, uh, Kevin Spacey as the president in previous call of duty, or one of our listeners gave me that, uh, uh, that game and you have to be command and conquer me. No, no, no. But Kevin Spacey is like, he's the guy who he's the, he's giving you the orders and now you need to do this.
Sonny00:26:22No, sorry. Not, not nothing like that. No, this is, this was C this was creepy CGI Ronald Reagan.
Vic00:26:29I, you know, I, you, you like those games. I try, I want to get into those games because I think it's right up my alley, but, um, I, I, this is funny to say, I can't kind of get motion sick
Sonny00:26:41playing the games. Yeah, it's definitely, uh, it, it, so again, I, I haven't played a game in like three years, but the only games I have played in the last like 10 years have been, um, first person shooters. So after about, after about 30 seconds of like re reorienting myself to how the controllers work with the, like it, I was like, okay, no, I've got this. I've got this.
JVL00:27:02There, there's definitely that initial like wave of motion sickness. Like, uh, yes, I am not in control of my eyes, but now it's, it goes away very quickly.
Sonny00:27:13JVL you, you have nothing to say about doing war crimes for Reagan. You're not.
JVL00:27:17No, I mean, it sounds great. I, uh, which, which PlayStation was it?
Sonny00:27:22on. Is it the new one? It's not the new one. It's not, I don't have a new one even out yet, or is it the PlayStation five is out? The PlayStation five is out. Uh, but it is very hard to come by right now. Everybody wants one. Everyone wants one. That's what I hear. Yeah, no, I mean, it sounds great. I'm sorry. It's not sieve 17 or whatever, where you like make the bows and then you shoot, you shoot the people. And then like 17 days later, you have like a victory with an atomic
Vic00:27:52bomb somewhere. I'm sorry. It's not like that. I was about to say it doesn't work like that. I was like, oh, that's pretty good. Actually. That's yeah. That's how I do it. Sorry.
JVL00:28:01Yeah. JVL right now. I, I, I literally have been working like 15 hours a day, every day for the last, you know, two years. So everything's good. Now we, we made it, we won, we saved democracy,
Vic00:28:15kind of the other side of it. I don't know. Did we win? Did we really win? Well, hard to say.
JVL00:28:22Uh, I don't know. I'm trying to think if I have any like updates for you, the, uh, we're taking flash to the next level. So where there is a, uh, do you want a flash update or not want a flash update? So, uh, he has been moved. He's still playing travel baseball, but there is a local pitching academy and he is signing up with them. As well, where they just work out pitchers three days a week, and he'll be the youngest guy in the facility. The guy who runs it is a regional scout for Tampa bay. In the last three years, he's had, I think four kids drafted coming out of the pitching academy, 60 kids go on to play division one ball. And so we took flash over there for his tryout and, uh, you know, he's throwing 70 miles an hour from major league distance. It's just forking insane. And, uh, you must be thrilled. You're going to be retiring early. No, I'm not. No. What w you know what I hope for? Well, honestly, what in my, in my perfect world, uh, flash will get the chance to play minor league baseball for two or three years. And in the same way that like some kids go and bum around, some trust fund kids will go and bum around, uh, Europe for a couple of years after graduation, instead he'll make $35,000 a year for three years playing, you know, riding in a bus and playing baseball, and then he'll go to law school or something. Like, doesn't that sound like a great way to spend ages 22 through 25?
Vic00:30:01Well, or that, or he goes pro.
JVL00:30:03Well, it is pro. I mean, it's being paid to play. I mean, I met major league, major league. Yeah. Well, I mean, sure, but nobody, nobody can, you never know who's going to.
Vic00:30:11Except for yeah. I mean, I'm sure if you talk, you know, any of these pro players, you know, they, they were probably all thinking the same thing or the parents probably thought the same thing at some point. Or no, maybe they have parents who were like, oh no, we knew from the beginning he was going to be,
JVL00:30:25I don't know, you know? Yeah. It was crazy. I think he gave up two hits or three hits this travel season. He batted 850 or something insane like that. I mean, it really, it's kind of silly to watch. I don't know what 850 means, but I'll assume it's big. It's, it's, it's, it's good. Batting 850 is good. That's great. Yeah. So yeah, I don't know. Like we've, we've all basically survived and we, we have a vaccine in sight and people are going to sub beacon.com and you know what I, after we get off tonight, we're going to tape a little short episode that we're going to pop up over on sub beacon.com. We are. And yeah, just like 10 minutes, just like 10 minutes, because I, I'm going to tease it right now. I have made a lifestyle decision for myself. Oh, making some changes. I'm getting scared. One big change. And I will. No more pants. Lane that to you. No more. What do you mean? I will explain that to you guys. When we do our micro episode that people will be able to find on our Patrion at sub beacon.com. Basically as soon as they finished listening to this episode, does it, uh, does it involve shuffle hover? No, no powder cheese. No. Okay. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be, I'm going to blow your minds. It's going to be so great. So, uh, all right. That's all I have. Do we want to talk about like things that we. Watched or did you guys just do that? Well, we just did when you were zoning out.
Sonny00:31:56We, we, we kind of did that. I don't, I, this is the problem with your, with your whole, like we need to, we need, we can just talk about things that we did. Then that's, that fills the 32
JVL00:32:08minutes. That was 32 minutes. All right. Well, do you want me to tell you what I watched? Because I watched something for us. We were asking what you've been doing. I watched why I watched two hours worth of, of a movie and I watched the live action star blazers.
Vic00:32:21Oh, wait, you bought, so you didn't get the cartoon. You got the, the Japanese movie with the actors. Yes. From 2010. I was so spaceship Yamato. I was hoping that you got the reboot of the, cause there's a reboot of the animals. All right, Sonny, we'll see you later. You can go mix another drink if you want. I thought you were going to get the reboot of the animated version because that's supposed to be really good. I didn't even know there was such a, yes, I got the live action. It's very hard to figure it out on Amazon, but go ahead.
JVL00:32:51And it's live action and dubbed. It's not subtitled. I sent you a picture. Did you not
Vic00:32:57see the picture? I said, yeah, I, I saw, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't click it on to look at the closeup. I thought it was the, uh, the, uh, the, the animation one.
JVL00:33:07So it's very, very Japanese of course. Like for instance, captain Okita wears these white linen gloves at all times. Very, very much like, you know, there are clean people. Yeah. Uh, there's this moment early in the early in the movie where he, he addresses the crew and he says, if we fail in this, we all die and everyone on earth dies to keep that in mind while you perform your duties. That is the most Japanese motivational speech. Yeah. I believe,
Vic00:33:39I believe that's the same speech given on Iwo Jima. Right. It's just crazy. So there is,
JVL00:33:47it it's, you know, and it's all about, I don't know how much you remember the, the, early, early setup of the series Victorino, but so this series has done in 1974, 1978, no 19, sorry, 1977. Okay. And it is about, uh, this alien race, which is sending radiation bomb. Yes, yes, yes. To make right. The gamma laws to make earth uninhabitable, which again, it's all like Godzilla, everything in Japanese popular culture is all fallout from fear of. Yeah. Yeah. And uh, and so they, they need to go across. Anyway, it's not worth recapitulating the entire thing, Victorino, but, uh, for the five people listening who like you and I had star blazers as a major influence on their childhood. Yes. Cause it was the greatest space opera of all time.
Sonny00:34:38It's the greatest. Can I, can I, uh, interject and ask a question here because I, I am unfamiliar with star blazers. Is it, is it better than dragon ball Z? Oh, for goodness sakes. Yes. Uh, how, how would you even know? Did you even watch dragon ball Z? You don't know.
Vic00:34:55In my, in my time, there were two, yeah, two choices for Japanese space opera. It was, uh, either star blazers or battle of the planets. And that was like the poor man's star blazers.
Sonny00:35:08Question. Second question. Is this, is this better or worse than cowboy bebop, which I now own now, which I now own on Blu-ray and need to watch the whole series of SMDH. You don't even, you don't even know what that is.
Vic00:35:22You don't even know what that is. No, no. JVL, JVL. I need to know where the bad guys painted blue. So, so here's, here's what I want to say. So I questions you'll only hear on the sub beacon.
JVL00:35:34I felt, you know, there are people who got such an enormous charge out of seeing the Christopher Columbus Harry Potter for the first time. Cause they were like, oh, I can see this thing from my childhood. And it doesn't matter that it's shitty. I just love seeing it. And that never did anything for me, but seeing star blazers in live action really did. Okay. Like seeing an actual CGI space battleship, Yamato, I just swing. Right. Right. Right. So, so, so were they wedding
Vic00:36:06night? What the gamble ons were they? Well, hold on, hold on, hold on. Just wait for the answer.
JVL00:36:13Take this walk with me. Okay. All right. The wave motion gun still, how is the wave motion gun work? You got one guy in on the command deck who has a trigger with a, like an actual finger for his finger with a stock and lines it up visually. That's how he fight through an optical reticle. That's great. That's great. The jackets. With the, the leather jackets with the arrows pointing down, they were cool. Those things are so cool.
Vic00:36:36I wanted one myself. Maybe you could. Yeah. I mean, look, if they had, they must be out there
JVL00:36:40somewhere. Now I would say the, the movie version is not all canon. Do you remember the ship's doctor victory now? Yes. Doctor. I was gonna say Dr. Zayas. No doctor, something else. But he was like Zeno or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's just a little fat guy with really beady eyes. He's the only one without the anime eyes. Yes. Right. And he has a cat and he's always drunk. So in this, the doctor is a girl, but she does have a cat and she's always carrying a bottle of sake around. She's always like half, half drunk. Is she an attractive doctor? Yeah. Yeah.
Vic00:37:12She's okay. They, they, this was the weirdest choice. I mean, I mean, when I watched the movie,
JVL00:37:18yeah. The weirdest narrative choice is that the Derek wild star mark venture. Yes. Stuff, which is the, the central character. This is the best part, Sonny. Go ahead. That is not there at all. Neither of those characters are in there. And instead what we have is we have the Derek wild stars is a guy and the other, the mark venture character is a girl who Victorino Vic. Yes. I'm here. Yes. I'm waiting. Oh, oh boy.
Vic00:37:50Oh, the actress. All right. I forget. This isn't, we're talking about, we're talking about motion.
JVL00:37:54May suck karaoke. I'll look into it. Okay. Victorino, you should look into this and they have a whole Sam and Diane thing going on. Oh, that's great. Okay. So as I said, it's not all canon. The gamma lawns are nothing, nothing like the thing. They're not even humanoids. They're much more like the, like independence day, you know, they're a hive minded alien. Yeah. And, and
Vic00:38:20there's a tentacle monster. So of course there is a standard. Okay. There isn't actually a tentacle
JVL00:38:27monster. Oh, dang it. You see Yuki. Oh, how are you? All right. Victorino. Hold, hold on. Can I, can I just, can I, can I, can I text you a picture? Okay. Well later, later we got it for the sub beacon dot com. That's right. Okay. I guess we'll do that. Yeah. I will tell you, you know what? I'll text him. We'll do the live reaction to her when you on some beacon. We are there. Uh, boy, that
Sonny00:39:00was, I see. Here's, here's the problem with this iteration of the show that we have decided to do right now. There was some discussion beforehand. Should we do a thing where we, we talk about all the same stuff or should we all just talk about what we've been watching? And like, I feel like if I had been able, if I had known that this is what we were watching, I would have been able to I would have had a lot to contribute here about like, why is Sonny? There is no way in the world that you would have what on, what on earth is going on right now? I don't understand. Uh, you know, that would have, I feel like that would have really helped help the conversation here,
JVL00:39:34but, uh, what do I, what do I know? People just need to go to sub beacon.com. Okay. That's all.
Vic00:39:41You want to do the look back, uh, on this episode where you talked about favorite moments for you, you were talking about this.
Sonny00:39:50Yeah, no, I think that we should do, we should, as a goodbye, as a goodbye, we should each discuss our one favorite moment from the show. Vic, what was your favorite moment from the sub
Vic00:40:01beacon? I wrote a couple down as you know, as you know, I have a script here. Uh, I have a couple of thoughts. Okay. I just want to share the couple of thoughts. One is, uh, I thought that we turned a corner with our first Thanksgiving episode in 2016. Can you mention that? It's in 2016. We were talking about rest stops and much like the star blazers thing, Sonny, you were going crazy saying, this is no America saved me. I think it's what you said. And I thought, you know what? I think we might have something here. Okay. That was my thought. Secondly, the time that JVL JVL trolled Sonny on Martin Scorsese. That was amazing. I don't remember that. What was that? That was, and, and it worked and, and, and, uh, I was, and you were genuinely angry on that episode because we were all together in the
Sonny00:40:56studio. We're in together and I could see you. It takes a lot to get me angry as you know. So
Vic00:41:02okay. Um, and then, uh, I don't know whose idea was the candy draft. Was that yours or was that JVL to come up with my idea? Because I remember, I mean, it was so kind of crazy that, I remember sometime after that I was walking down union station and there was that long line to get to the Northeast regional as there always is. And the guy on that line stops me as I'm walking by and he just goes, Oh, by the way, I just want to say your candy draft sucked. And it was somebody which was not, I didn't know everybody didn't love nerds. But anyway, the fact is I didn't never recognize, I didn't know who this guy was, but he knew who I was from, I guess, photo or whatever. So I just wanted to make a joke about the candy.
Sonny00:41:51You walked, you walked through a small room. So the gravity shifted towards you.
Vic00:41:56Because of your giant head. I got spotted and people usually, I can see you and they're like, Oh, well I was like, you know, a hundred feet away and they saw the head. They saw, they saw the head. And okay. So the, and you know what though? I remember when we were in that tiny, tiny closet back in the, the old standard chili would drink. And one time I think we got, we had a little bit too much. That's what I remember. But anyway, one time, one time, one time, no, the best, all of us, all three of us. I remember Sonny cause Sonny started to lean back and gets like, so remember when Sonny fell off his
JVL00:42:35chair? Yes. Yes, I do. Ah, all right. Go ahead. JBL. I don't have anything. Those are, those were all good memories. You know what? Always look forward. Never look back. Uh, our best
Sonny00:42:49stuff is in front of us. The number one thing that ever happened on this show was me drafting King size bars in the Halloween candy draft. That was, that was, that was the greatest moment
Vic00:42:59in the history of all drafts. Well, it's your greatest con because no, it was, it was, it was
Sonny00:43:06smart and it was outside of the box and we had not created any sort of rules really. So I was able to, I was able to manipulate them. Um, and you guys lost because you didn't, you didn't think as smart as me. I, that's
JVL00:43:19fine. This is, this is like the New York giants drafting an M one Abrams tank with the first pick in the NFL draft. It says, wait a minute, that's a machine. It's not like, yeah, but we're going to, we're going to tape a football to it. Just, you try to stop it. This is not the candy size draft. It's not the candy size draft, Sonny. I'm sorry. I pick everything that comes in a wrapper. There's a reason I won, uh, the draft
Sonny00:43:45and you guys lost it. And it was because of that number one pick. So, okay. Are you ready for this now? God, I also won all the other drafts because I went all the drafts cause I'm the best.
Vic00:43:54I did put together, um, since again, this is the last episode of this particular podcast question before we moved to something dot com, uh, things you guys discussed on the show that I had no idea what you were talking about and I just nodded along. Okay. And now here we go. Thank you. I can't see you, but I heard
Sonny00:44:19that. Uh, masking. What is masking? Uh, it's when you go to a theater and you put a mask on your face and you sit there and you watch it.
JVL00:44:31Okay. It's when you take, you take them into your basement and it puts the lotion in the basket
Sonny00:44:37and then you, you get out the duct tape. It's when you, it's when you go to, uh, it's when you go to a, uh, I'm an answer seriously. It's when you go to a theater and the, I don't know. I
Vic00:44:49was distracted. I just saw my face. Okay. It's when you go, it's when you go to a theater and
Sonny00:44:53the curtains come down to create a proper anamorphic or widescreen or whatever, uh, size for the screen. So you don't have these kind of like weird gray, black bars on the side or above and below you have actual black. Okay. Next question. What is anamorphic? Okay. Nevermind.
Vic00:45:12Moving along. Mary Sue. I'm not really sure I get that one. I, you know, is she like the main actress? Is she like this? Like how you think your way through AP English? Basically, basically. I didn't know. And two, I didn't really care. Okay. So those are basically all my questions. I have others, but I think I'm too embarrassed to ask. So we're just going to ask them, ask at least one. Hey, does that mean it's real, but not real
Sonny00:45:43JBL. Do you want to define cave? Yeah, no, Vic. That's basically right.
JVL00:45:49It's the pretend storyline. The pretend storyline.
Vic00:45:53MacGuffin. It's like a distraction. It's like a distraction from it's like come on. Well, that's the thing I asked about the bar thing and you said, and I thought, oh, that's another thing about MacGuffins. I don't know what he's talking about. And then of course I go there and I see the bar and it's actually called MacGuffins as a reference to the MacGuffin, which is a red herring. Is that it's no, no, it's not a red herring. It's a plot.
Sonny00:46:19A plot device that doesn't really matter to keep everything moving forward. Right? So like in modern times you could look at a pulp fiction and like what is in the suitcase is a MacGuffin.
Vic00:46:34Okay. See, if only I knew it back then now it's pointless. Okay. I'm ready to go through corrections and shout outs. Are we ready? Yes. Okay. Shout outs, no corrections. Doug TenApple, I received his latest book on Bigfoot Bill. Doug, if you're listening, thank you. It's gorgeously illustrated. Sam Huffons. I like to say that because I think he's from Texas. I received a brisket from the Salt Lick. Thank you very much. It was frozen and it remains in my freezer because I need a full day. I want to do a slow cook of that. I mean, they tell you to put it in the oven, but I'd like to do it on the grill at a very low temperature. I don't know. I'm looking into it, but I can't wait. Ian Brody, I saw on Twitter, promised that if we did an episode, he would send us a bottle of Canadian whiskey, which apparently this particular brand won the world whiskey competition. I would recommend you just send it to me, Ian.
Sonny00:47:37Now, you got to send that to Texas? That would be our only choice. I'll send you the address later. Thank you. Texas, to Sonny Bunch Care of Texas. We'll get it here.
Vic00:47:48I appreciate when I had sent out the tweet about the final chapter and everybody was all upset. We really weren't sure what was going to happen. We all had to work this out, but I was making a joke about Halloween, the final chapter. Listener Kelly Bowers got that, and a couple other listeners did too. Halloween or Friday the 13th?
JVL00:48:09Friday the 13th.
Vic00:48:10Oh, you blew it. I blew it.
Sonny00:48:14That's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened on my show.
Vic00:48:16Friday the 13th, the final chapter. That was followed by Friday the 13th part six. So we find a way, or at least we try to find a way to keep it going. 2009's Friday the 13th, probably the best one. It had all the quadrants crushed, all of them. Underrated. Including easy to understand. Yeah. Okay. Well then. I have a shout out. Oh please, Sonny.
Sonny00:48:44I have been drinking and this is why I'm basically incoherent at this point. The Busker Irish whiskey, triple cask, triple smooth. You finally did it. I've been, a listener, a reader of the Bulwark sent a bottle over and I am an Irish whiskey skeptic. I'm not a huge fan, but I have to say this is a very smooth, very drinkable brown liquor. I wouldn't, I wouldn't say it like is going to supplant any of my, you know, it's not Buffalo Trace, which is still the best, but this is very good. The Busker Irish whiskey. I quite, I quite like it.
Vic00:49:27Honey, you should, you should try Red Breast. That's another great one. Trust us. Trust us. The person who sent it to you, you know what he's talking about. Okay. Good. Good. That is all the time we're giving to this episode. Questions, comments, complaints, compliments.
Sonny00:49:45Iteration. Really? It's not just this episode.
Vic00:49:48That's right. This iteration. Tweet us @SonnyBunch @VictorinoMattis again.
JVL00:49:53Or go to subbeacon.com and leave a comment because that's our new hangout place. That's where we go now.
Vic00:50:00Again, be sure to subscribe to us at subbeacon.com. We're there. Tell your friends.
Sonny00:50:07Until next time.
Vic00:50:18In the new iteration, what stays and what changes? I was thinking we can go from three's company to three's a crowd because that went over pretty well.
JVL00:50:30Here's what I propose. Hold on to the stinger. We're going to do the little stinger as a separate episode over at the new place. Go to subbeacon.com right now. Instead, we're going to close the show out with a song written for us by our buddy Scotty Rock. See you guys at subbeacon.com in like 30 seconds.
Guest00:51:02Another podcast gone, one final episode. I didn't know that this would be my last download. No dudes chatting or flashbatting, just goodbye. Now here's a question, can I lessen such a crime? I don't mean to sound cynical, and so I'm sure it's fine. I hope you had the part of your mind. So make a quadrigraph, big boy, refuse to take time. And never forget king size. It's the best size. Gene and Georgetown envy soft white collar hands. So just stay calm and do not buy the Bosch brand. They're rather unreliable and very far from fine. I hope you had the part of your mind. And something unforgivable won't know which watch to buy. I hope you had the part of your mind. You all stuck to your principles and so I'm sure it's fine. I hope you had the part of your mind. You all stuck to your principles and so I'm sure it's fine. I hope you had the part of your mind. You all stuck to your principles and so I'm sure it's fine. I hope you had the part of your mind. You all stuck to your principles and so I'm sure it's fine. I hope you had the part of your mind. You all stuck to your principles and so I'm sure it's fine. I hope you had the part of your mind.
?00:53:06You all stuck to your principles and so I'm sure it's fine. I hope you had the part of your mind. You all stuck to your principles and so I'm sure it's fine. I hope you had the part of your mind. You all stuck to your principles and so I'm sure it's fine. you
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